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Gossip Girl Headcanons S2!

-luna is from the turpins

-luna has a job/is an adult

-zoya/shan do the antihero peloton class

-obie doesn't want to go to school bc kate might become headmistress

-zoya and aki share a northface

-zoya's fave after-school snack is goldfish, but monet wasn't talking to her

-julien posted a taylor swift ranking, but it got all hate so she changed her opinion

-zoya ghost-writes aki's movie reviews bc she hates being perceived

-obie does activism for the salvation army

-audrey brags to people that she got taylor swift tickets, but they were off ticketfaster

-monet and julien have a sing-off to white dress

-luna's car only plays "don't do me like that" by tom petty and that's the only song it plays like marshall's car

-obie rents out a theater for them all to watch joe vs the volcano but he doesn't go bc julien is there, even tho he invited her

-luna only eats tomatoes

-julien makes edits of herself and pretends fans made them

-obie's fav movie is the burbs

#gossip girl #gossip girl reboot #luna la #monet de haan #julien calloway #zoya lott #max wolfe #thomas doherty #audrey hope #aki menzies #girl meets world #blair waldorf #dair

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Sugar, sugar! Oooooh honey honey!

Had to wait a day to watch this ep bc my DVR is broken and Verizon is ruining my week on the up-low. Anyways...is anyone shocked that Archie's Heaven is having a Stepford life w a kid named Fred Jr? That's all he talks about anymore. And for him to say "this IS the real Riverdale" to Veronica...um, not it's not. He still just views Riverdale the town as this impossible ideal, one which it will never be and never has been. And he would rather stay in his manufactured afterlife fantasy, which he seems to know doesn't include his real loved ones, than return and finish the fight that he started by bringing them all back to Riverdale in the first place. And sure, he's been through a lot, so why wouldn't he want peace?

But I thought he loved Betty. So why would he abandon the real Betty in favor of the Pod Person Betty in the Sweet Hereafter? That would seem to suggest he loves the idea of Betty and what having a family with Betty would be like as opposed to the person of Betty Cooper. Does Archie Andrews, the individual with his own thoughts and desires, love Betty Cooper, the individual with her own thoughts and desires, or does "Archie Andrews", the traumatized man who does nothing but fantasize about an idealistic version of the past and molds his thoughts and desires into an obligation to honor Fred's legacy, love the idea of "Betty Cooper" and what she represents.

Plus the fact that even after all Barchie has been through this season, Veronica somehow still has a 50/50 chance of ending up w him? Sounds like he's not too passionate about either of them if he's going to be swayed so easily by circumstance.

Also, does Betty even want a life as depicted in Archie's Heaven? The TBK taunted Betty about having a white picket fence w Archie, and she said "maybe I can." Right...you CAN. But do you want to? Or do you just feel like you have to bc that's the highest moral pillar you can think of, the surest way to prove you're not evil or whatever she thinks she is. Bc Betty grew up in a fake perfect family where it was all smiles and happy suburbia. And while I'm sure Barchie's family wouldn't be toxic slop garbage like the Coopers, I still think Betty would feel pressure to suppress herself. I mean, look how she acted in the Sweet Hereafter...serving 1950s housewife. Their kids were even idealized versions of them w the girl being smart snd the boy being dumb and loving music.

And sure, I get it's supposed to be idealized bc it's Archie's Heaven, but that fact that he didn't even want to leave...he didn't want to fight for that future w the real Betty...he would rather just skip to living the fantasy already w fake Betty and his fake family. Not to mention he didn't even leave for Betty. He left bc it was the "right thing to do." Bc all he cares about are his Fred-esque principles. When will he care about PEOPLE? Flesh and blood people, not dogma, what what the people represent, just people? It would be refreshing to have him actually seem to care who he ends up with based on who he loves as a human being rather than who could best give him his Riverdale family fantasy. But that's how he made his decision in S5, so why would he change now?

Not even going to address how Jagoffhead chose being famous and dating his crush (a burger) in the Sweet Queerafter over Tabby even tho his biggest fear is allegedly dying alone? He sure puts in any effort to make that not happen. But he about to die anyways so...guess he had a point!

P.S. Major props to Percy for being the most incompetent villain bc u made Kevin be able to resist being a follower AND Reggie value something besides his own opportunistic agenda? Wow. Tangs continues to be a plague btw. Also a Mary mention? I hate her bruh.

#riverdale #barchie #varchie #bughead #choni #archie andrews #betty cooper #jughead jones #jabitha #cheryl blossom #veronica lodge #tabitha tate #girl meets world #cole sprouse #lili reinhart #kj apa #camila mendes #hsmtmts

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#TangsIsAPlague

Um, so to start off, let's address the fact that Jeronica are being consistently portrayed as pathetic this season! V is pining after Bald meanwhile Jarhead is making up Bughead edits in his head. The question is...why? Like why still? Is stuff like that supposed to be a Bughead or Varchie crumb? Bc at this point, it would only count as such if it came from Barchie's pov. Why can't they just drop it and let Jeronica actually move on? Jughead ignores Tabby for weeks on end, and V is worried about who's endgame during the apocalypse. Like um, ladies...snap out of it!

Kinda just seems mean-spirited at this point, too. Like Roberto Sasquatch is bitter bc they had to do 4 seasons of BugVarchie since he was too much of a coward to go against fanservice for the Bughead stans. So now they have to rub it in every chance they get and make Jughead and Veronica (mostly Veronica) look like fools. I mean, look at her performance in this ep...girl! Can't even defend that, sweets. Most cringe since her rendition of "Carry the Torch" when she didn't know who it was about. And she's gonna go on about "I'm a glorified party planner and have no social life...but I'm fighting for my friends!" Like how do those things go together, V? It's true, everyone only goes to you when they need something. Someone please get this girl some actual friends. She's having a nervous breakdown! Here's to the ladies who lunch! Please have mercy on my girl during these difficult times.

And it's all to overcompensate for their bad writing and lack of build up for Barchie in the first place. Their s5 plot made no sense. Archie chose Veronica in the Next to Normal ep and even wanted to be just casual w her before he even considered Betty, just like how he chose a chance to pursue a married Veronica who may not even be interested over pursuing something serious w Betty. Do I think this should have even happened? Not really. Varchie never should have even been a thing after the time jump, and they should have just started w Barchie and given Archie's "love triangle w Chad" plot to Reggie. But Varchie is what they chose to write, so...they can't just act like things didn't happen how they did. And this is from someone that genuinely did and wants to like Barchie as a couple, but the story they're giving them is only good if you make it up in your head - if you just ship the IDEA of Barchie instead of paying attention to what they actually say and do on screen. It's obvious that Betty is and always has been in love w the Scarlet Beast, but when will he show anything toward her that is strictly romantic and can't be interpreted as just a deep love and friendship bond? They are best friends and there is a sexual element, but where is the romantic element? He's never been afraid to wear his heart on his sleeve in the past. I disagree that Betty is the one holding back. Archie didn't dump Veronica specifically for Betty (which would have been more meaningful). He was just certain that he wanted to stay in Riverdale since he gave up on his individual desires and wants to exist as the thematic embodiment of Fred. But is he certain that Betty is the one he wants to build a life with? If so, I would like him to demonstrate that instead of it just seeming like he decided to give it a go bc they both decided to stay in Riverdeuce.

Another thing is why do they have to act so high and mighty about killing Percival? Hiram only stopped after he was dead. Nothing but death can stop these types of all-powerful, relentless villains. Plus, not everyone has the privilege to be so morally perfect, valuing principles over people. Archie is lucky that Grenade Heather knows Sabrina or else his reluctance to kill would have just resulted in the deaths of half the townspeople. Is it not worth getting a little blood on your hands to save the people and town you care about? I'm sure the show will find a loophole where they won't have to kill him and can win anyway, but still! Meanwhile, Betty just killed someone last episode. I hope his morals aren't too black and white for someone like her bc I don't want her to be on pins and needles, worried about fucking up bc Archie will change his view of her if she does. And if he doesn't, then he's a crypohit!

Anyways, like Toni finna be rude as hell to V all last season then come ask her to plan a last-minute wedding? Da fuq? And ask Cheryl to officiate? She was highkey a jerk this ep! Omg and Fangs' vows? It was like half a sentence, girl, and u had to write it down? Does anyone even like Fangs anymore? I feel like ya'll just liked him bc of Sweet Pea and when ppl pretended to care about Kangs. Told yinz he should've stayed dead in s2 that one time!

P. S. I think everyone died at the reception bc they all thought back to V's performance and just couldn't take it. Also, why were everyone's outfits so ugly this ep? Js.

#riverdale #barchie #bughead #varchie #choni #jughead jones #archie andrews #betty cooper #cheryl blossom #veronica lodge #jabitha

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Oh girl you got drag mouth! It's a real problem, mary! And hermione!

Let me get this junk out of the way first: Kangs and Choni aren't taken seriously by the writers. Those pre-show teaser insta posts will always be teasing Choni scenes and stuff but will never be so keen to pick a side when it comes to something like Bughead, Barchie, Varchie, Veggie, Jabitha, etc. Like why is only Choni treated as inevitable to get back together? Seems like the writers don't want to give either of them a serious arc or time to grow away from each other or seriously (Tangs isn't treated as an actual threat) explore dating other people before getting back together. Regardless of whether Bugvarchie is endgame or the new couples, the point is we don't know. But bc Choni and Kangs are the only queer couples, we do know they'll probably be endgame. But it's not bc their love is God; it's bc the writers don't care enough to give them any kind of slow burn. They get no time for exploration. At least treat every important character on the show the same! Jk Cherry Blossom hasn't been important since like...maybe s2? And that's being generous! But now she's dead or sumn so who knows?

Another thing is why did Barchie get together so casually and anticlimactic? Like if this show wants us to believe that Barchie is this big slow burn, destiny, years-in-the-making epic love story, then why didn't they at least have a grand scene of them finally getting together after all these years? I mean, where is the pay off? Where is the romance? Varchie broke up twice a season and had grander reunion scenes than Archie at his house saying "All in ig Betty...even though I didn't talk to you the whole time you were dealing w Polly's ghost and also am only saying this after Veronica not only rejected my offer to stay together but also my counter-offer of still dating non-seriously at least. U in?" Like so casual for what? Content? Where? Epic where?

Also, where did Tabitha's personality go since Rivervale made her start acting weird? She's becoming Toni 2.0 at this point...just exists to support Jarface. What does he like about her besides that she is so "good" and does everything for him? At least w Betty, he could name discernible personality traits he admired about her.

Anyway, now to the real meat and taters...bad parents: Mary edition! I get the moment about Mary saying Fred's ghost saved Archie was supposed to be sweet, but it was kind of messed up of her to say imo. Like Archie is already having an exceedingly hard time mourning Fred and saving the town bc it represents Fred, and now another thing to add to the list...Archie has to break his back rebuilding this house or he'll kill himself bc it represents Fred and Fred's spirit. No wonder Archie lives in a fantasy bubble. Who ever gives him the tools to navigate and cope with reality and difficult change? Why do that when you can escape and cling to the past? Meanwhile, Mary doesn't care about the house...bitch, you rented it out to the Ghoulies! Plus she's never there to offer support...just starts crying and Archie has to comfort HER! Same as Betty and Alice. No wonder Barchie function like emotionless robots...when are they ever allowed to feel their feelings? Never! At least not w the company they keep. So sick of this whole group of Archie, Betty, Alice, Mary, Kevin, Cheryl, etc...all they fucking talk about is the past! And push away anyone who represents change (Veronica) or make them into bootlickers for the Northside (Toni and Fangs). But also, can Tangs stop acting like gang members that peaked in high school? It's like they're embarrassed that they spent their teenage years being Kevin and Cheryl's accessories and are trying to make up for it now by acting tough and getting involved in gang wars and shit and glorifying gang life even tho they literally have a kid now. FP didn't want the Serpent life for Jughead...why do Tangs want it for Baby Anthony? He'd be better off w La Llorona tbh.

Hermione is also hot garbage w her continuous gaslighting and guilt tripping pulling her up to the top of the worst parents list (under Alice, Hiram, Hal (debatable!), and Penelope...but still pretty high!) How is she gonna say that her favorite times were s1 when she and V lived alone without Hiram? Like um...who's the one who let Hiram back into their lives? And kept taking him back? And enabling and enforcing his shady behavior repeatedly? It was you, Hermie! Plus it's so childish and disgusting to be legit jealous of your daughter in general, let alone her toxic and manipulative relationship with her narcissistic father. And on top of that, she's gonna take no accountability and sit there smugly while Veronica apologizes to her. Very much giving me Betty apologizing to Alice in the N2N ep despite Alice acting like shit the entire time or Reggie forgiving his dad despite his dad doing nothing to redeem himself...what is wrong w these writers? Ew salad w a side of *dry heaves*!

P. S. Why is Kevin the deputy? Like is that something he actually cares about or does everyone just have to repeat their parents' entire lives? Right...can TBK at least be Donna? Imagine how tired we are.

Oh yeah, I forgot. Hiram was putrid as well trying to say he took back what he thought about wanting a son as soon as he held Veronica...um, then why did she overhear him saying it at her quinceanera? And then the toad's gonna add on that all the abusive shit he did over the years was for Veronica as if it wasn't for power and control...asinine. The least they could've done is give Hiram and Archie a rain kiss before his untimely demise? Oh well, maybe in the next parallel universe!

Um why does Cheryl keep getting manipulated by Nana? Can't she tell she's evil slop? So glad Abby threw her in the dungeon to crumble to dust! Hope she gets Toni to cheat on Fangs <3

#riverdale #bughead #barchie #varchie #jabitha #choni #veronica lodge #archie andrews #jughead jones #betty cooper #cheryl blossom #toni topaz

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Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

Ships Masterpost!

Endgames-

Julien x Audrey

Zoya x Shan

Monet x Luna

Nick x Davis

Julien’s dad’s gf x Max's mom

Eleanor x Kiki

Either Obie x Aki or Obie x Max

Kate x Monet's mom

Midgames/Flings-

Luna x Zoya

Audrey x Zoya

Audrey x Monet

Julien x Monet

Julien x Grace

Monet x Grace

#gossip girl #gossip girl reboot #julien calloway #audrey hope #max wolfe #aki menzies #zoya lott #luna la #monet de haan #chair #dair #derena #serenate #blair waldorf #serena van der woodsen #nate archibald #chuck bass #dan humphrey

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New Gossip Girl Headcanons!!!

•monet was a gmw stan and got in fights with people about it on tumblr

•every time audrey reads a book aki watches the corresponding movie/vice versa

•obie only posted a black square but his mom forced him to delete it

•every time a Taylor Swift album drops, audrey, monet, and luna go over to julien’s house for a party (zoya will be invited to the next one)

•zoya is a gleek

•monet and zoya talk online through their tumblrs but they dk who it is irl

•obie almost got cancelled for following fox news on insta but saved himself by saying his finger accidentally pressed follow

•monet and luna are beronica/cheronica/cheryl and donna warriors

•kate pours the milk in first when she eats cereal

•max wants to be an architect

•one halloween the group all went as the coven from ahs except obie because he didn’t know what ahs was

•zoya and aki go to her house to watch tick tick boom together bc she likes musicals and it's on his watchlist, but they don't talk the whole time

•zoya’s dad only orders fraps

•audrey has to make her mom tea every morning and when she comes home from school but has to remake it because her mom falls asleep and it gets lukewarm

•the teacher pulled obie out of class because his backpack smelled (it was actually just his hair)

•obie and max fight over aki bc obie is his marshall, but max is his barney; aki is ted

•luna loves bojack horseman

•monet forced everyone to go to the theater to watch ocean’s 8

•kate and her incel bestie give out negative dojo points

•aki breaks his skateboard every single day and always has to buy a new one

•monet was on fifth harmony stan twitter

•audrey is afraid of holes and kins ally mayfair-richards

•aki watches the simpsons but only the smithers eps

•max is a barb

•obie is team jacob and gale

•zoya loves green tea fraps

•julien never does any work for group projects and just does all the presenting

•aki ships craig and tweek

•max and aki sneak in his dad’s room to try on his dresses

•audrey def thinks monets new red hair looks good bc she likes people w weird colored hair

•gideon kins lady bird

•julien's dad's gf has a crush on max's birth mom; she's her celeb crush!

#gossip girl #gossip girl reboot #max wolfe #julien calloway #aki menzies #audrey hope #maudrey #zoya lott #luna la #monet de haan #blair waldorf #chuck bass #chair #dair #dan humphrey #serena van der woodsen #nate archibald #serenate

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Next to Normal...crushed it! (zero percent!)

Have a lot to say! Rlly don't feel like writing this tbh, but the ep was Alice-centric so it was inevitable! Anyways, love how they changed so many of the Alice/Betty songs to generate pity for Alice. For example, I was actually hoping that Betty would sing "I've Been" since it would finally allow her to address her own feelings and frustrations. But nope, they cut all the lyrics that mention that ("And every day this act we act gets more and more absurd/And all my fears just sit inside me screaming to be heard/I know they won't though, not a single word") ("And I'm weary to the bone/cuz whenever she goes flying/I keep my feet right on the ground/Now I need a lift and there's no one around") and left all the parts talking only about how the situation affects the mom.

Plus Kevin singing "You can't give up now...she shouldn't be alone," like what is this show's obsession with acting like it's Betty's obligation to nurture her own mother? Is that not the mother's job? Not to mention how never, not once, have the roles been reversed in these types of situations.

Like the song "Maybe." I also was looking forward to Betty and Alice singing this bc it might give them a chance to finally hash things out and for Betty to stand up for herself. But they seriously had the nerve to switch the parts! "Maybe we can't be okay/But maybe we're tough and we'll try anyway." That line is supposed to be the mom trying to reassure the daughter, not vice versa. The mom was the one who had making up to do. When has Betty ever not been there for Alice? She spent her entire run on the show trying to keep Alice out of trouble and dealing w the consequences of her unhinged and selfish decisions.

Plus did I pull an Alice Smith and hallucinate or didn't Alice spend the first four seasons trying to make sure Betty got into a good college? And in the graduation ep, didn't Betty say she and Alice were going on a road trip before she starts college? So clearly Alice was okay w her leaving then. I can't w her! Big Blaine Anderson season 4 energy, and it's not cute.

I was also floored that "I Miss the Mountains went to Alice singing about a literal mountain instead of to Veronica. But I guess that would make too much sense considering it was actually applicable to Veronica's situation. Also it didn't even align w what Alice was feeling...it quite literally contradicted. That song is about missing the highs and lows and wanting the pain, but didn't Alice want the complete opposite? The whole point was that she COULDN'T handle the pain, so she numbed herself out w a fantasy. Such a braindead choice.

"I Am The One" was just sad. Like Betty is sitting there begging Alice to care about her bc she's always tried to be there for her, but Alice is too busy daydreaming about ghosts of Polly (who she mistreated and gave up on when she was alive) and Charles (who literally isn't even dead, like go visit him in jail). And it was made even worse by the fact that it was a child singing to their parent instead of just a husband singing to their wife. A child shouldn't be put in that position. If they had kept Alice in the parental or supportive perspective even once in any of these songs, it would've provided the tiniest sliver of redemption. But I guess the writers can't even do that right.

Whole ep was a circle w it starting and ending w Betty being there to support Alice. Like what development was made? That she stopped having hallucinations? Go her ig except when in the history of the show has she ever lived in reality anyway? She just had a momentary downgrade from chronic denial to straight up psychosis. Kool. Um, and where was Hal?!

About Varchie, I am so sick of them! Like omg when they're with other people they want each other, but every time they get together and it's the least bit stable, they get sick of each other somehow. And instead of working through the conflict, they just delay it by breaking up then getting back together at a later time without talking about the previous issue that very much still lingers in the air. And ya'll wonder why it keeps coming up, bc you won't think of a solution, boo boos! They don't know what they want.

But also, how is Barchie gonna get back together without it looking like Archie's rebound? If they wanted to go this route, they should've spent the season building it up instead of making Varchie a thing all season just to switch it up at the last min for shock value.

Same w Jabitha. Everyone expected them to be a thing at the start of season 5, so why make Bughead hang out for one ep then make him a simp for Tabby the next ep out of the blue? All you did was make Bugvarchies mad for no reason. Could've just continued Jabitha's build up from a friendship into something romantic. It was going well until this ep. Also, "Perfect for You" did not really fit them lyrically. It most fits Bughead, and I don't even care for them! And why didn't Barchie sing "A Light in the Dark?" Wasted trope much?

Oml and Toni/Fangs?! Literally wtf...like when did they start being attracted to each other? Could've been when Kangs was still together for all we know! *plays Rupaul shady noise* Hope this means Koose endgame can still occur! We can do it guys, let's go! Tabby's parents better not even be in it. Don't need Hiram vs Varchie pt 2. Get some new material, dumb.

P. S. The best scene by far was Cheryl throwing a drink on Penelope! And at least Hiram wasn't in it.

#riverdale #bughead #barchie #varchie #jabitha #choni #betty cooper #alice cooper #veronica lodge #archie andrews #jughead jones #toni topaz #cheryl blossom #koose #next to normal

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Hiram ep

First things first, why are they trying to make a parallel between Reggie/his dad and Hiram/his dad? It's not like Reggie resents his dad for being a car salesman...he resents him bc he hit him and never thought any good of him. Meanwhile, Hiram had a kind father and only resented his class issues. Not the same at all. If Reggie had Hiram's dad, he wouldn't be in this situation bc he would have nothing to prove to a dad who already believes in him.

In fact, Hiram's story moreso parallels Archie. A "good but impressionable" kid has a kind father who wants the best for him, but the kid (for various circumstantial reasons) is more drawn to toxic displays of masculinity; therefore, despite having a good father, they still seek the approval of men they perceive as "strong" and "powerful." They also both happened to get involved w a mafia boss and were partially motivated by the desire to impress a girl. Not to mention it doesn't make sense for Hiram to respond to his father's death by becoming exactly what his father died trying to stop him from becoming, thereby making it so that his dad's death was in vain. Archie also responded unhealthily to his father's death, becoming increasingly violent and retribution-focused as a way to honor his memory and "save the town" but in doing so, moving farther and farther away from the values of compassion and mercy that Fred had tried to instill in him. Hopefully Archie learns how to be a good friend one of these days instead of just an action hero who is so selfless to a fault that it goes full circle back to being selfish and positively reckless.

Meanwhile, I thought Chad was meant to parallel Hiram and Archie was meant to parallel Fred and that Veronica choosing Archie would symbolize her making the opposite choice that Hermione made when she chose Hiram over Fred. But now Archie parallels Hiram, too? At the end of the day Archie usually chooses mercy over revenge anyway, but it's still odd how much young Hiram seemed to parallel season 2 Archie...feeling powerless to protect his family and seeking the guidance of a "strong" male figure to right the injustices he's experienced. Even Hiram's montage of waking up shirtless and running to do push-ups was reminiscent of Archie. Hmm...

Um...and why was it being portrayed that Hermione was so invested in Hiram when I thought the point was that she was actually in love w Fred but only married Hiram for money? Like wasn't she already dating Fred in the Midnight Club episode and even cheated on Hiram w him or something? But now in this ep AFTER the Midnight Club, suddenly she has never started dating Hiram. Ok...

And also who does Hermione think she is telling off Alice and Penelope bc to Hiram "family is everything" and "can you skanks say that?" It's like...no, they can't! But that's also besides the point bc it's not like Hiram or Hermione have ever actually valued their family beyond the same toxic sense of loyalty that binds all these Riverdump families together. Some nerve! When she tried to say she stayed w Hiram all these years just to protect Veronica...how u gonna lie like that? When Hiram was out here destroying her chance to get a fresh start in Riverdale. Veronica put all that effort in to really change and become a kinder person and a good friend to so many of these people just for it to all be for nought bc the moment Hiram stepped back into town, no one could ever fully trust her again or have faith in her character, including her "best friend" Betty Boop as well as people she personally did nothing bad to like Ethel and Josie. But yeah, Hiram "loves" his family! Eyeroll, miss thing. All Hiram loves is power and control.

Like am I supposed to feel sorry for this bitch bc he spent years treating Hermione and Veronica like possessions and is angsting just bc they finally moved on from him, leaving him alone with no one to control? And how is he gonna say he lost so much to get to where he is then turn around and say he's gonna get back what he lost? Like his only justification for still being bad is bc he lost so much already but jk bc he's gonna get it all back. Hip hip hooray, Jaime! I mean, why should anyone rotten on this show ever have a consequence?

Speaking of, I don't care about Reggie's dad either or feel bad for him at all. What is up w this show and forcing the narrative that kids HAVE to forgive their toxic parents? Like, wow, Reggie's dad suddenly feels remorseful once his son is an adult he can't control and is about to cut him out and leave him alone? Yeah, that's why he apologized...bc he pitied himself. Not bc he cares about Reggie. If he did, he would've tried to be a good father when Reggie actually needed a father, not beg for forgiveness now that he needs Reggie more than Reggie needs him. Selfish and useless.

Also didn't like how Hiram's backstory was used as a way to redeem Hiram and not Reggie. I wanted Reggie to hear that story and come to the conclusion on his own that he doesn't want to end up like Hiram. But instead, Reggie will beg to keep working w Hiram and Hiram will have to be the one to step up and say "no, no, you don't want to end up like poor ol' me!" Like ok? My hero! How am I supposed to care that Reggie is back in the main gang now when he's only there bc Hiram rejected him? He didn't choose the "good" side on his own, a betrayal to Veronica and his alleged friends.

But hey, at least it was an ep of Real Housewives that finally made Hiram start to care that Hermione and Veronica think poorly of him! It's not like Veronica tried to get him to change a million times and his pride wouldn't let him, even if it meant losing her for good. Guess he cares now all of a sudden! He'll prob get them both back, too, bc I guess in Riverdale, feeling self-pity about being a bad person is enough to make up for every bad thing you do. That's what I learned from Alice and Cheryl anyway!

P. S. If this is allegedly after the Midnight Club, why are they talking when I thought they forgot who each other is? And why is it in 1988 when the Midnight Club took place in the early 90s? Right...

Hey, didn't Veronica say the rum recipe has been in her family for years? Guess not!

And another thing! Fuck Hiram bc he apparently cares about Reggie so much to tell him not to be like him, but all he did was encourage V to go back down the path of acting like him and taught her that's the only way to maintain his attention/approval. Too little too late to change his mind now. And it's not even Veronica that gave him a change of heart. It's thinking about his dad bc that's all anyone on this show does. Like Veronica tried to distance herself from Hiram's stank to be friends w everyone else, but they threw milkshakes on her. And now Reggie gets to save face by joining them by default since Hiram broke up w him. Cooties.

And shouldn't Pop have looked older js?

#riverdale #archie andrews #veronica lodge #betty cooper #jughead jones #cheryl blossom #hiram lodge #toni topaz #bughead #varchie #choni #lili reinhart #camila mendes #kj apa #cole sprouse #madelaine petsch #vanessa morgan #anti bughead #anti barchie #barchie #jabitha #anti varchie #anti choni

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Hsm: the waste: the series

Ok so right off the bat, is anyone else bothered by noticing that multiple different relationships seem to be developing the same dynamic? The guys all become huge simps for the girls just for the couple to actually get together and for it to reverse w the girl having to give the guy constant reassurance bc he's insecure for whatever reason.

This was especially seen w Redlyn's plot. How was she supposed to know what his dreams were if he never said? Especially since he always acts embarrassed about the tap dancing...like maybe Ashlyn misinterpreted it and thought he was too scared to pursue that in the future or something. Also why was he so jealous of the French guy? Was Ashlyn supposed to tell him to let her fall that one time? It's not like Big Red was there to catch her. Also don't like how their season plot started w her being insecure about playing Belle just for him to give her one sentence of vapid praise and then it was never brought up again. Also, saying "you're perfect" when she's feeling insecure doesn't really help like he might think it would bc it kind of just invalidates Ashlyn's insecurity and makes it seem like she's ridiculous for even thinking about it. Whatever Gina said seemed to give her more comfort. But then the rest of their S2 arc was spent w him getting insecure about something every episode and her having to reassure him that she actually likes him.

This also happened w Rini although not for long bc Nini peaced out after a sec, and I'm worried it might happen w Portwell, but I'll get to those dweebs in a min. Also why did Mr. M become totally whipped for Miss Jenn this season? I liked when their dynamic was more balanced; now, it seems like he is madly in love w her and she got the ick from him. Luckily, I care about them zero percent!

Another thing is that the competition was ultimately pointless af! Like I knew it wouldn't be satisfying whether they won or lost, but they didn't even reveal it? Ok? Wasted the whole yr ig! Miss Jenn became mentally disturbed for what? Plus wouldn't it make more sense if they didn't open the results at the end bc they realized how much the Menkies tore them apart this year bc they only cared about winning and lost sight of their passion? But no...they maintained throughout the whole time that they're still a big happy family, so I guess the awards didn't affect them? Besides just making them indifferent to the results for some bizarre reason.

Why is this show so anti-ambition? Heart and ambition don't have to be mutually exclusive. When Nini went to YAC (so damn irrelevant but anyways...), she was iced out of the friend group and portrayed as lonely and miserable and bored bc she chose to pursue her ambition rather than stay w her friends at East High. I get the point they were trying to make, but Nini seems like an ambitious character who just hadn't gotten the chance to explore that side of herself bc she never believed in herself enough to go for it. Oh well ig she has to give it up for Ricardo and her friends. Also, Gina's whole thing about "taking a step back" it's like...from what? You get no leads (except offscreen pre-pilot ig? Idk). And now, they have to prove they only care about family by not checking if they won even though there's nothing inherently wrong w being competitive as long as you're not undermining people to achieve your goals. Like are they gonna act like they weren't spying on the other school and making diss tracks back to them instead of rehearsing? But that wasn't addressed.

And tbh it made it seem like Miss Jenn only wanted to drop out bc she was nervous to perform against Derek Hough bc otherwise why was that scene w her and Seblos talking about it included? But now she can have an out while also taking the moral high-ground and claiming they quit bc they're above it or something. Self reflection = none. Also love how she was willing to go get pizza for Ricky but not Carlos. What happened to that dynamic?

Also, why did every episode end w a cliffhanger that was resolved offscreen by the beginning of the next ep? Oh no, Gina's moving! Jk her mom said no. Oh no, EJ has to tell his dad about Duke! Jk they talked offscreen and the dad is ok enough w it (why was it built up so much then?). Oh no, Carlos recorded the Rose Song! Jk Nini doesn't care. Oh no, Ricky and Ashlyn fell! Jk they're fine and can still perform. Oh no, Lily stole the harness! Jk they did Ricky's transformation offscreen and it went great...k guess I'll take your word for it. So much telling instead of showing going on this season.

Something else annoying is how every conflict was the result of miscommunication and how they would spend time resolving problems that were created that episode instead of actually addressing things that were going on. So many passive aggressive elephants in the room and no fights.

Why did Rina seemingly forget who each other is? I don't even ship this, but it makes no narrative sense after they spent so much time giving them dialogue that was exactly what the other needed to hear just for it to result in nothing. Ricky was the first one to say that Gina isn't intimidating and to get her to soften up, and Gina told Ricky she wouldn't quit on them if she was staying. What was the point of that flashback? They had a deep friendship and one they both desperately need when you consider how quickly they jump at any opportunity to connect w someone experiencing similar issues as them (Gina spilled her guts to Jack once she found out he always moves, too and Ricky gained sympathy for Lily once he found out her parents are also divorced). Why didn't they try to talk at all the whole rest of the season? Did they even process their feelings for each other or just to choose to ignore them? Ig ignore them since Gina shifted all her attention to spending 24/7 w EJ and Ricky decided to call up knock-off Gina aka Lily. Are they ever gonna talk again or?

Also Nini and Gina barely scratched the surface of talking about things bc Nini stormed out of the room like she always does to avoid conversations. Rini took too long to break up. The drama should come from the fall out, not the long-ass build up, just to result in a treehouse conversation that summarizes what's been happening instead of digging deeper into either of their mindsets. "We've been miscommunicating all year!" Yeah, we know. But what about Nini reflecting on why she impulsively got back together w Ricky just to, a couple months later, not even be able to say she wants to fight for the relationship? What about Ricky explaining whatever was going on w Gina? How much does Nini even know about that? Couldn't Gina/Nini or Ricky/EJ talk about how it's weird how they keep dating the same people? Or be jealous about it or something? Anything besides ignoring each other!

Seblos was also weird. Why did they spend the first few eps setting up a conflict that Seb is poor and Carlos is rich and keeps making him uncomfortable by buying him things just for it to never be talked about again? And why did Carlos make comments suggesting he was jealous of Seb being in the play w him just for that never to be brought up between the two? The only time they addressed a conflict was when they randomly decided to make up a problem that episode about Seb being insecure about Carlos and other guys or something. Like ok? Couldn't you have addressed all these other issues and passive aggressive comments that have been bubbling beneath the surface instead of making up a new problem just for the episode to have a plot? Bc of course it will never be brought up again next ep.

When did this show become so episodic and plot-based? S1 had more of an overarching plot and more character focus, including different friendship dynamics. But ig this season, people can only talk to the person they're dating. Also why was Carlos so rude and randomly classist this season? It seemed like whenever Seb was upset about something, he would get annoyed as opposed to concerned. And a song (which was Ricky's idea and not even Carlos's) doesn't fix the issue.

Howie was just being weird. Like he was making all faces and acting sus on opening night bc...Kourtney was just SO good! ...Next!

Next up is Portwell and EJ's character development this season in general. Didn't really like it! Everyone is saying EJ had such great character development this season, but why did his entire development happen offscreen? There are also so few remnants of his S1 self that it's almost unbelievable. Like he's no longer the least bit arrogant, ambitious, image-obsessed, etc? And he didn't speak to anyone about this really either. It's like he sat in a room alone by himself for hours and came to all these conclusions himself out of the blue and came back to school the next day a changed man. It would have been more beneficial to see more of this rather than being told about it. They're trying to market EJ as part of the "core 4" but don't want to give him the same relevance and depth as Ricky, Nini, or Gina. Then again, Nini's development has also been totally odd this season. But anyways!

It's also a little annoying that what triggered EJ to want to change was getting cancelled last season. So he realized he wasn't well-liked and therefore decided to get a personality transplant. But sometimes it seems more like he wants to look or feel like a good person rather than it coming from a place of genuine compassion or kindness in his heart.

Like last year, EJ claimed to "love" Nini, but the only pain he feels about their relationship is from shame and a bruised ego? The only thing he's proud about in that relationship is letting her go. You're not proud of building her up and helping her to believe in herself more? You're just happy that you had a chance to step up and be the hero on opening night by "letting her go" back to Ricky. He didn't even really let her go though since she was done w him way before that. Also bc of his relationship w Nini, he's afraid to be rejected again. So which is it? Were you such a bad boyfriend that you have nothing but shame about the way you acted, or do you feel rejected? If he knew he was being a bad boyfriend, he should know why he got rejected.

They try to parallel Gina and EJ's respective heartbreaks, but it's not the same at all. Gina got rejected bc Ricky chose Nini, but EJ got rejected bc of his own actions. It MIGHT make sense if he said he was nervous Gina would reject him bc she still has lingering feelings for Ricky, but of course that was never brought up and he's ok w the chocolates, so...what is he so nervous/confused about? It's like he thinks that last year, he was a "bad guy" and was rejected bc of it, but this year he's trying to be a "good guy" so if he puts in all this effort to do all these gestures for Gina and STILL gets rejected, then he really can't do anything right. He needs to learn to do good deeds from an internal place and not as a way to get validation or to feel like a good person.

I also don't like how he became friends w Gina AFTER it was implied that he had a crush on her. People say they had build up since S1, but there was no consistent friendship. They schemed together once, then he got her the plane ticket, then they didn't talk again until Carlos's party when he looked at her all lovey dovey. I think part of him latches on to the idea of Gina as representing his "goodness" or new start bc the first good deed he did was getting her the plane ticket. This made him feel like a good person, so he wanted to continue doing good deeds, especially for Gina since she helped "change him." But I wish they had maintained an onscreen friendship for a while BEFORE he started developing feelings for her. It's weird that he decided to become friends w her only when she's heartbroken and feeling down and also living at Ashlyn's house.

Like of course she's gonna latch onto you bc she's so lonely and seeking any kind of intimacy/stability. You're basically inserting yourself into the family unit that she's inhabiting, the wondering why she may view you as a brother. It's because all the things you're doing are coming off more like gestures a family member would do to "take care" of someone rather than something romantic. Gina needs a family, and the Caswells are supposed to be her surrogate family. I just don't want her to feel pressured to have romantic interest in him bc he's a nice guy and has been doing so many gestures for her and bc it would be very convenient to date someone in her surrogate family/built in support system. I don't want her feelings for him to be intellectualized and based on logic or for a million other people to have to tell her that she likes him when she had no problem expressing her crushes on Ricky or Jack. What makes EJ any different? Does she like him bc it "makes sense" and bc she is latching onto him for stability or bc she has genuine feelings for EJ and his personality? Not sure bc the show didn't even address her feelings for Ricky or how/if she processed that, so...DID she process that, or is she just jumping headfirst into spending 25/8 w EJ to distract herself from difficult emotions? I would have preferred if she at least sorted things out w Chard THEN made a conscious realization that she liked EJ more and chose to be w him. At least then, the narrative would be direct and intentional.

I just really wish EJ had a storyline outside of Gina being a symbol of his "development," like maybe he could have talked to Nini about their futures since they were both experiencing the same issue about school choices, or maybe do more w Mr. M and behind the scenes work? Also was really annoying that Gina bawled her eyes out more than ever after EJ cancelled their date, even harder than she ever cried about Ricky. It's like she was broken after that so she tried to use EJ as her final chance to build a connection and was depending on him so hard for emotional support, just to be blindsided and left feeling "off-putting" or like she needs to not only run away but also to put her walls back up. Like this was the last straw for her emotionally.

I thought the appeal of Portwell was that while Ricky made her cry and was constantly vague and unclear about his feelings, EJ was consistently there for her and she knew where she stood w him and that he would stay and not let her down. But now EJ is making her cry, too, being vague, and having miscommunication? All for the sake of them having a last minute complication just for it to result in Gina ONCE AGAIN having to be the one to put herself out there and express her feelings to EJ bc he was feeling insecure and din't come talk to her about it. For once, can't someone be the one to confess their feelings to her? Otherwise, what's the difference between Rina and Portwell if she has to deal w the same problems? Like no, SHOW why he's the better option for her, don't make him act stupid just to cause drama for a second. He was pretty intuitive last year about Rini still having feelings for each other, so why is he oblivious this time around? And why did he go talk to Ashlyn about it but not Gina? That's like last season when he talked to Ashlyn about his problems w Nini instead of bringing it up to her. Why does he keep making the same mistakes? Gina needs someone to be direct and secure in their feelings for her. She can't be expected to coddle EJ, who already has way more relationship experience, bc he will make assumptions about her without addressing it to her face and lead w his insecurities even when she is clearly hurt by what he's saying. Could he not tell she was upset he cancelled the date or??

Also unrelated, but why did they make Ricky mess w Nini's phone and delete stuff just like EJ did to her last season? Once again, SHOW why Ricky is the better option for Nini. Otherwise, she might as well have just stayed w EJ if there's no difference anyway, right?

The villains this season were also so irrelevant. Like where did Derek Hough go after he talked to Miss Jenn that one time? And couldn't Lily have been more involved if they're gonna force this plot of her liking Ricky?

With the amount of underdevelopment going on, Nini should have just transferred to North High instead of YAC and had a storyline there about choosing between ambition and friends or whatever. Then, she could've gotten to know Howie, Lily, French guy, etc, and it would intertwine the characters more. And also create more tension for Nini when she finally transfers back to East High and had to compete against her former classmates in the Menkies.

Instead, Lily's only relevance is to randomly have a crush on Ricky even though she spent the whole time manipulating him. Why does he even like her? If I was Big Red, I would get mad bc Lily has done nothing but be cutthroat to his supposed friends and make Ashlyn insecure all season. Doesn't he care about that? Or does he want to ignore his own problems yet again and focus all his energy onto "saving" or "fixing" Lily? He's so codependent. He and Nini both need to stop being so self-centered about their feelings.

I wish Ricky and Nini had developed a genuine passion for theatre by now like Troy and Gabriella did, but it seems like they could always take or leave whether they're in it or not. Does Ricky even have any passions outside of being codependent on girlfriends? The career test suggests not.

And Nina needs to learn to be a better friend. All season, Kourtney has been dealing w shit and her only advice is "you can handle it; you're Kourtney!" Like ok? Kourtney gives you all support and helps build you up, but is expected to figure everything out on her own bc she's "strong" and "independent." That doesn't mean she doesn't also need emotional support!

Plus why were all the songs so overproduced? I like the acoustic feel of S1 bc it added more emotional impact. I felt nothing from any of the songs this season. Cool!

#hsmtmts #rini #rina #portwell #anti rina #anti rini #anti portwell #ricky bowen #nini salazar roberts #gina porter #ej caswell #redlyn #seblos #olivia rodrigo #joshua bassett #matt cornett #sophia wylie #girl meets world

[heiterbroward]

Irrelevant key party

This ep? The worst in a while check! Gotta say...Archie, Kevin, and Cheryl were totally kinning Wilbur tonight. The key party was an epic waste, but who's surprised? Can someone explain to me how the fwb trope works for Barchie? Bc he got mad that she was attempting to be more emotionally intimate w him, but they're already best friends allegedly...so shouldn't they already have a pretty high level of intimacy w each other? I guess not.

Plus when did he start liking Veronica again all of a sudden? I get it, he's been jealous of his crush Chadwick and stuff, but what I mean is...how isn't he even the least bit conflicted? He has no feelings for Betty at all and is positive they're just friends? Then why did he write "Carry the Torch?" Why did he cheat on Veronica not once but twice and not tell her right away? Why did he and Betty consider dumping Veronica and Jughead to be together? Why did they sing "Wicked Little Town Reprise" and seem like they were pining for each other? Why did he visit Fred's grave and say he needed to "follow his heart" which resulted in him singing his song he wrote for Betty to her in the bunker? Or what about that one episode where he imagined Betty in her pink dress and it was framed as the "night it all went wrong" or something? Why did he look at Betty in the window and the voiceover said "feelings that had long been buried were shook loose?"

I just wish, for once, that this program would pick a narrative and stick to it. Archie goes from saying he's never felt "whatever it is he's supposed to feel" w Betty then keeps cheating on Veronica w her. He goes from saying "a little part of me always thought" to Betty to saying "you were it for me; I saw our whole future" referring to the first time he saw Veronica. So...which is it?

Also annoying how he always lets whoever he's talking to set the boundaries for their relationship. For example, if he thought of Betty as just a friend and considered their casual hook ups to be just that, why didn't he say "just so you know, this is casual for me" instead of trying to be coy and ask Betty "Betty...what just happened? 🤪" Like was Betty really the best choice for a casual hook up partner? There were clearly emotional implications to getting involved w that particular person that he didn't seem to want to deal with. Even if Betty insisted she was okay w it being casual, did it ever cross his mind that she might just be saying that bc she has a deep-rooted insecurity about deepening things w him due to him rejecting her in the pilot? And sure, maybe Betty did just want a casual thing, but the fact that he didn't even bring any of this up or dig below the surface level...how are they best friends? Like it did seem that despite insisting she didn't want to deepen things w Archie, it was still her gut reaction to call him for comfort after her nightmare. And his response was to get upset by this...why? Bc his "best friend" wanted to talk about things instead of just hook up? Like bc ya'll starting banging, you can't open up to each other at all anymore? At least not until you go back to being just friends...ok.

Meanwhile, when Bughead and Varchie were together, it seemed like Barchie was only able to open up to each other sometimes like during the Black Hood or in Season 4. Like does intimacy always have to be separate from passion and commitment in their relationships? Bc it seems like they have this weird intimacy issue where they can't seem to confide in and have sex w the same person at the same time. Like ok...Archie's hooking up w Betty so he'll start confiding in V again despite getting the ick from her at the end of Season 4. And when he gets back w her, will he ice her out from his problems again and go confide in Betty? Weird.

Anyway, why did Varchie get back together so fast? Oh yeah, bc they gave Veronica a crap hubby so that she would run back to Archie as the better option by default. Why not give Veronica a good husband and see if she still had stronger feelings for Archie despite nothing being wrong w her spouse? Or at least make her single and hesitant to get back w him bc of how he betrayed her trust? Archie never has to work to get her back at all. And can ppl plz stop putting words in his mouth? V always says "oh so you and Betty was nothing?" and he says "yeah something like that ig"...um no! Just ask "what are you and Betty?" open-ended and see what answer he gives. Bc he seriously needs to explain himself.

Also nice to know that Betty basically doesn't want to be w Archie not bc she for sure doesn't like him but bc she doesn't want to corrupt him w her "darkness." Since when did he become this incorruptible, can-do-no-wrong individual? Bc he was way more compassionate and considerate in Season 1 as compared to now imo but is somehow viewed as a hero and mature just because the show tells us he is. So now both of Beronica see Archie as this beacon of light and goodness in their lives and will therefore let him get away w anything? Cool!

About Kevin...what was that? You want an open relationship and a kid then try to back out when it should already be too late? Plus instead of being upfront, he tried to be a weasel and make it Fangs' fault by trying to get him to be sneaky w the trucker guy just so he could use that as a way to make Fangs the bad guy and have an out to not have to come clean about his own commitment issues. And his response to Fangs calling him out was "yeah, we're supposed to get married and have a kid? I know it was my idea, but oh well! Don't want it anymore, so good luck w that! Sorry I suck!" Like way to take accountability, fart brain! It already seemed like he settled for Fangs based on how they got together out of the blue when Moose left, but how is anyone supposed to believe he respects him now?

Speaking of which, Cheryl was kind of serving sociopathic realness tonight! Like Toni comes to you and says that she has a condition that made her want to have a baby now, and you cry crocodile tears and say that you're happy for her, meanwhile, you're plotting to wreck her happiness w the ambiguously evil art lady. Toni tries to talk to her as reasonably as possible, but it seems like these days, she's incapable of doing anything except twisting people's words to fuel her extreme victim complex. Thought she may have been self-reflecting after the 7 years, but these past couple eps have been a major switcheroo back to her past self, so nvm! Also, she went on about the key party being consensual then wanted Jughead to take a key even though he was drunk af? Like anyways...and Toni wanted to get back together in that one ep when she painted her, but she rejected her, only to change her mind after Toni has decided to raise a baby w someone else? Why would Toni be okay w screwing over her friends so that she could raise the baby w Cheryl? Especially when it seems like another control tactic to keep Toni trapped in her goth abode. It's like she doesn't listen to a word Toni says smh. Major lack of respect and empathy on her part. Fix it! Or don't. She can always just date the Evil Art Lady ig...even though who even is that? And she hooked up w Archie's army friend, Humpty Dumpty? Werk.

One last thing...why was Reggie invited? Doesn't he work for Hiram? Or does that only make someone a pariah deserving of judgment when Veronica does it?

And another thing...glad to know Betty will start investigating w Jughead soon now that her thing w Archie is over. Guess that's what she always does after ending things w Bald. If I was Jugface, I would have major insecurities about this. Veronica, too. Isn't she worried Barchie will cheat again for some reason? It prob won't be addressed tho!

P. S. Can Alice start reassuring Betty ever instead of vice versa? She parentifies Elizabeth so much smh. Also can Polly hit up Cheryl Bombshell? Reunion! Can Chic and Dark Charles not be in it? Idk whether to fall asleep from that or the Hiram flashback ep! Also where did Beronica's friendship go?

I <3 aliens!!!

#riverdale #anti riverdale #barchie #anti barchie #bughead #anti bughead #varchie #anti varchie #choni #anti choni #betty cooper #archie andrews #veronica lodge #jughead jones #toni topaz #cheryl blossom

[heiterbroward]

Some many of ya'll are competing to be at the top of the curb-stomp list...

This ep you ask? Not tolerable in the slightest! First of all, did anyone else find the Barchie shower scene to be jarring? It's like the window scene in season 2 smh. Their scenes can never be enjoyed bc they always come out of the blue w no build up. Plus why are they being friends w benefits? I thought they sang Wicked Little Town Reprise and basically established they both had deep-rooted feelings for each other? Not every trope works for every couple. For instance, wouldn't a friends w benefits situation make more sense for a couple that wasn't already very aware of their feelings for one another? Not childhood best friends to lovers who have been pining for years? Like sorry that none of the sex scenes in this show can ever be the least bit romantic. Not everything has to be "steamy" smh. Plus it's funny how they try to market Archie as "mature" this season when his approach is just as immature as ever. Like Barchie are clearly using this friends w benefits situation to avoid addressing and communicating their feelings for each other...doesn't sounds very mature to me! Like how is it just 2 young people messing around when I thought ya'll were longing for each other for over a decade? Just escapism and avoidance...same way they use their work. Betty was ready to get back to work and lied to her therapist (even tho she's having PTSD nightmares), and Archibald was ready to jump back into war right away...can they stop trying to find distractions and projects to take on bc they're scared to be left alone w their own thoughts? Instead, maybe some self-reflection might help? Or confronting issues instead of burying them and denying them? Js. Not looking for them to just become the next Bughead...solving cases to avoid dealing w their own issues. And then acting morally superior. Is this the only way this show knows how to write a main couple? Bc we're just repeating the same problems that made Bughead bad in the first place.

Also really not enjoying the smug energy of some people this season. Also lowkey classist and weird. Like after 5 seasons, Archie will still refer to gang members as basically lowlives even though he got mad that Brett called him a lowlife when he went to Stonewall that one time. Like I know they're selling drugs or whatever, but so did the Serpents. You don't have to excuse it, but what happened to his compassion to at least understand people's situations? Especially considering he's apparently so buddy-buddy w the Serpents now for some reason. Like don't they sells drugs and hide bodies and what not? What makes them any different than the Ghoulies who are apparently scum w no nuance? Also love how Toni, Sweet Pea, and Fangs will turn on Jughead for mentioning them in his book (did he even say anything bad? Idk at least he didn't explicitly exploit their traumas...a step up for him!), but they'll stop everything they're doing to help Archie save the town.

And I get they want to give Toni more storylines which sounded good in theory, but I really miss her season 2 personality bc she is serving Barchie's same brand of smugness as of late. Like what gives her the right to be complicit w Cheryl's antics for 3 years and now decide all of a sudden to rise up and start acting like she has a leg to stand on? She's hating on Jughead for going against "Serpent tradition," but did she care about that when she was disregarding the Serpents' safety to go rob houses w her Northside gf bc she was bored? And Cheryl somehow became a Serpent despite leading the crusade to get them kicked out of Riverdale High? And Fangs will date Kevin, and Sweet Pea will date Josie - both privileged Northsiders who don't understand the Serpent struggle - then also run to lick Archie's boots every time he needs a favor. Meanwhile, Jughead is the one who almost died for the Serpents AND helped Sweet Pea and Fangs hide a body...but I guess all that treasured loyalty flew out the window? Like do ya'll care about Serpent values or not?

Plus, didn't Toni do business w Hiram when she bought the Whyte Worm from him? But now she's above doing business w him when he's offering full-ride scholarships for all the kids to go to a good school. Like is Hiram corrupt af? Yeah. Is he a capitalist pig? Yup. And it sucks that he bought up all of Riverdump and made it, well, a dump. But it's kind of just an unfortunate situation that they should grasp the reality of instead of putting the wellbeing of children in jeopardy to prove a point. Don't like how this group is putting their black and white sense of morality and justice over the education and futures of the children in town. If I was a student, I'd be like "cool, so now instead of a full-ride to Stonewall which could help me get to college and get out of my current situation, I have to stay at Riverdale High and be taught by people who aren't even qualified to teach. But at least those teachers have the privilege to rise against the system! Good for them I guess..."

Toni was also being highkey manipulative in that one scene w Robert M. "If our love ever meant anything to you...help us." Like what does she owe anyone in that town when they only pay her any mind to ask for a favor or money? And what was Toni doing in this scene...hmm...oh yeah, asking for a favor: money! Meanwhile, she knows Cheryl is at rock bottom and just wants to feel worthy of Toni, so Toni is choosing to exploit that for her own agenda. Got it. And now Archie is doing the same thing Bughead used to do...only talking to your friends to ask for favors and use them. Like that one scene where he called Jughead to ask for the speech but didn't try to ask him how he was or apologize or anything like that. And how Barchie banged and said "we've been wanting to do that since high school!" Ok so why didn't you? Who was holding a gun to your head and making you date Jeronica? Bc it seems like Barchie resents Jughead and Veronica on some level for preventing them from ever being together when it was actually their own fault. But at least they'll hide it and act like they're still a core 4 when it's actually fake af since Barchie treats talking to their supposed best friends, J and V, as a chore. And Archie is entitled to Jeronica's help in saving the town why? Telling Veronica she can just commute...thx for the empathy. She doesn't HAVE to help, you know. This whole season is just people wanting to act like they're good people for fighting for this grand ideal of "saving the town" when they're actually just behaving selfishly in all their interpersonal relationships. Veronica, Jughead, and Cheryl should all get together w my bestie Tabby Tate bc those 3 seem to be the ones always left w no loyal friends and who everyone wants to avoid like the plague. Especially now that they're single and outside of the main group tied together by Barchie and apparently Toni.

Was that last bit implying a feud between Alice and Hiram? Honestly, fight to the death bc both of these heathens are utterly intolerable! Hiram acts like an incel toward his own daughter and is mad that she defended herself against his abuse once 7 years ago...queen of pettiness, but he won't even do drag? Bye. And Alice is trying to play the victim yet again and group herself in w Polly. Betty and Polly's beef is its own thing. But Alice of all people cannot say Betty abandoned her when she was there for her during every breakdown and bad decision throughout the first 4 seasons and forgave her every time. Plus who cared where Polly was when Alice was too prideful to go find her? Oh yeah, Betty! She can't try to use Polly's twins as a second chance to be a good mom bc she still has all the same issues that made her first set of kids all screwed up.

P. S. Why are Barchie being vigilantes? Elizabeth ain't the DEA! I don't like this black and white, hypocritical sense of justice that this show likes propping up as morality. But also, can Archiekins and Hiram just end this once and for all w a lip sync for your life? Also, Reginald can either turn on Hiram or get eaten by the Mothman. His choice! Why did Mary rent her house out to the Ghoulies? Weirdo! Also, can someone explain Veronica's jewel job to me? I can't tell if it's illegal or not! Thx! Waiting for Cheryl to date Donna btw...

#riverdale #barchie #anti barchie #bughead #anti bughead #varchie #anti varchie #choni #anti choni #archie andrews #betty cooper #jughead jones #veronica lodge #toni topaz #cheryl blossom

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Used to be shyyyy...I never knew whyyyy (only real ones will get it)

Um...anyone else feel like this ep had quite a few things wrong with et? Like for starters, there's Alice...she can do nothing right and this episode proves no different! Always crying on Betty's shoulder and never offering any kind of emotional support back. Toxic parenting 101...your kid isn't your therapist. Also loved how she spent the whole time at graduation crying over FP instead of being happy for Betty or letting her enjoy her own graduation. She acts like a kid! Like can't you regulate your emotions and be strong for Betty ever? Not saying the reason Betty bottles everything up is bc she learned she couldn't count on any parental figures in her life for support but...yeah <3.

Plus who cares about FP that much that his send-off has to take up so much time? Hurry up! If I was Hermione, I'd be like "cool...he gets that, but my send off is a joke!" And love how Jellybean's main motive was not wanting to lose Jughead, but then when she left she didn't even say bye to him lol.

Also am I supposed to think it's cute or heartfelt to watch Hiram see Veronica graduate or Alice see Betty graduate? When they did nothing to help them reach this milestone and, in fact, did nothing but cause them trauma, exhaustion, and misery! At least Penelope always serves bc despite being a horrible parent, the show doesn't try to make me root for her or act like she's redeemed - you know, like it does w Alice! But enough about my confront character smh.

Meanwhile, anybody else find Elizabeth's speech kinda whack? Plus Jarhead saying they were cursed by the town or something? Bc in the Heathers ep, the message was that they wanted to be normal kids. But then in the Killing Mr. Honey ep, they all got mad when he was going on about the town being bad and basically said "yeah, and what about it? That's just how it is and how we are!" But now this episode is going back to the first message of them not being okay with the town's darkness...like are they okay with it or not? Or is it only untrue when Mr. Honey says it? Can we have a little consistency plz?

Anyway, everybody raise a glass to Cheryl who was actually a human this ep! Thank you, Mr. Burns, for doing the bare minimum. So annoying though when Toni tried to say that she would skip college bc Cheryl did...like stop, Robert M's actually trying to help ya'll not be codependent for once! Hopefully TT gets a personality in season 5.

The cheating storyline? A mess! First of all, you already know it's bad when I have to defend Jughead. But seriously, that whole scene of them in the bedroom was so weird. Betty still didn't seem like she was gonna tell him the truth and only spilled the beans when Jughead made a comment about how Varchie had been acting off lately...bc she figured out that Archie told V the truth and prob wanted to get ahead of the situation and tell Jughead before Archie told him or he found out some other way. Not a good look for her to be honest only when she's cornered...kinda makes it look like you just wanna save face and keep things the same on your terms despite the truth. And, like Archie, she undermined the situation and said they only kissed once even though they also had an emotional affair and were seriously considering leaving J and V to be together.

Also didn't like that Betty tried to hurry up and kiss Jughead right after admitting she cheated, and just when he was about to say something, she cut him off w another kiss. It came off like she was trying to hurry up and resolve the situation and to comfort him with sex. And didn't ya'll hate on Veronica for comforting Archie w sex after Fred got shot? These kids need to learn how to communicate smh. Instead of patching it up w sex, maybe Betty could ask Jughead how he feels about all this or let him know he has a right to be upset. Or maybe Jughead could ask Betty why she kissed Archie in the first place. It's not okay just bc "you didn't mean to hurt me and Veronica." Like duh...how many people cheat w the specific intention of hurting their SO? That doesn't make it okay. The only reason I can think of for Jeronica avoiding asking Barchie what the kiss meant is that they're scared to hear the answer...if Barchie has even self-reflected enough to come up w an answer (prob not). Anyways...idk why Jughead went along w it, but yeah. They also said they would talk about their relationship after they came home from sending off Archie, but then why didn't they talk about it for like weeks afterwards? Also where was Charles? Like did he get arrested or???

Speaking of saving face, the Beronica scene was also weird. Like if I was Betty and Veronica said "I can't be mad at you," I'd be like "yes...you can." And I've seen people try to spin this as being a feminist moment bc Beronica doesn't let a boy come between them or something, but it's funny how that logic only applies when it benefits Betty. Like it's okay for Betty to be mad when Varchie kissed in season 1 when she wasn't even dating Archie, but Veronica is obligated to be "mature" when Betty kisses her boyfriend of 4 years. Where's the mutual respect and empathy in this friendship? And I like Betty, but this is just annoying! Instead of the show letting Betty and Archie deal w reasonable consequences for their direct actions, they will be able to avoid consequences for their interpersonal mistakes but instead be dealt their karma by the universe throwing ten million traumatic events at them. Stop!

Like why is Jeronica dealing with the brunt of the emotional burden from this storyline when Barchie should be dealing with it by taking accountability and explaining exactly what happened w full transparency instead of undermining it and being grateful that Jeronica decided not to be mad? If I were Barchie, I would encourage them to say how they really felt even if it made things harder for me. But for some reason, the appearance of good relationships on this show is worth more than actually building good relationships. Hashing this all out would at least create more honesty and authenticity in these relationships, even if it caused a rift that needed to be resolved gradually. Instead, the relationships seem hollow bc they're built on dishonesty bc everyone is so desperate to pretend everything is normal for one last day...kind of sad actually.

And clearly there must be some resentment deep down if they all actually go on to not talk for seven years. Like did Jeronica just think "I'll just keep the peace for one more day bc then I won't have to talk to these people anymore anyway." Same vibe w the couples. Didn't Barchie not wanna be together bc they didn't want to lose Jughead and Veronica? But then when they actually lost them anyway, they seemed to not care that much or to fight to stay together. Like ya'll might as well have just gotten together in the bunker that day if that's the case bc all hiding it did was make everything worse.

I thought Varchie's post-break up weirdness was bad...girl, Bughead couldn't even look at each other! The reactions of Bughead and Varchie didn't really seem like the reactions of people who were very in love and had to break up - they seemed like the reactions of people who fell out of love long before they officially broke up and still cared about each other but were just...exhausted and ready for it to end and get a fresh start. I guess you could say approaching things this way leaves it unresolved, but imo a blowout fight would've left it more unresolved bc then at least you would see the emotions everyone had toward each other instead of this emotionless slop.

This approach didn't really give Jeronica a reason to ever look at Barchie again tbh, but I guess they'll solve that problem by making Jughead an alcoholic w a bad relationship and Veronica in a controlling marriage so that when they do exes to lovers Barchie will look like the better options by default. Like why not make Barchie work for it by putting Jeronica in good relationships and in good places in life and then seeing if they still want to get back together w Barchie? Then at least it would be an actual choice and not just Jeronica relying on Barchie to be the only light in their lives and the source of their self esteems. Stg Barchie better just date after the time jump and not avoid confronting their feelings by flinging headfirst into new sources of trauma (FBI and Army). Oy! And Brett didn't even live to see Forsythe graduate...pour one out 😔.

P. S. Why did Mary rush to sell the house? Like damn, she must have been in a hurry to get back to Chicago. That's the house Archie grew up in...maybe he wanted to save some memories of his childhood and Fred. Oh well, I guess! Anybody know if Penny Peabody is still alive?

#riverdale #barchie #anti barchie #varchie #anti varchie #bughead #anti bughead #choni #anti choni #falice #anti falice #archie andrews #betty cooper #jughead jones #veronica lodge #cheryl blossom #toni topaz #southside serpents

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Riverdale prome

Ok so first things first, I expected this episode to be bad...but I didn't think it would also be boring af! Kinda awk for an ep called "climax" to be as anticlimactic as it could get without boring people to literal death.

Anyway, let's start with Bughead. Is there a reason the whole town is at their beck and call? Like all they have to do is ask and suddenly Kevin, Cheryl, Reggie, etc. will all stop what they're doing (which is nothing but still!) to do favors for Bughead...including making a snuff film? Like ok...first of all, why do they want kids watching this to google what a snuff film is? But also, they were all pretty excited to take part, even Kevin. Like we get it, they all get turned on by it! Jk it's not sexual (isn't that the excuse they used for the tickle porn plot? Anyways...).

Also, the part where it was playing Hal's tape at the weird place, Betty looked shaken by it and had to stop for a min. But I thought her dad being the Black Hood is badass and a good card to pull any time they need to hurry up and solve a case? At least, that must be what she wants Jughead to think. And he takes at face value that she's unaffected so he can keep living out his fantasy of dating Dark Betty! I'm surprised he didn't suggest that she kill him on tape! Jk tho bc they have great communication. Also nice to know Jughead can just threaten someone to beat up Brett bc he has Serpent connections in prison. Like damn, all Bughead's schemes are contingent on nepotism. No way the Jughead fake death plot would've worked if they didn't have FP (the police), Charles (the FBI), Dr. Curdle (the medical examiner), etc, all in on it! They're kinda like Nate from Euphoria js. Like are you a mastermind, or do you just have the privilege of having the town wrapped around your finger?

Don't even get me started on Varchie. Archie looked miserable af the whole time, so I guess he must've become totally joyless since getting rejected by Betty. But don't worry, he'll still ask Veronica to hop in the shower for a quick bang even though she gives him the ick as of late. Did he even ask her to prom? Idk! Kinda shipped him w that one dude from Katy Keene, but that's another story. I also thought Veronica singing "Carry the Torch" would be more sad bc it would show Veronica looking at Archie and maybe show flashbacks of them or something and the irony would be that he doesn't even feel those words about her like she does him...but they just showed a flashback of Barchie in the bunker and barely even showed Veronica during it at all. Like even in a scene where she should be important and her perspective should be shown, she's still an afterthought. Toni, too, but I'll get to Smithers in a min.

Also loved how there was no confrontation. Like Veronica didn't even get mad or anything...we didn't even get her thoughts at all actually beyond her crying. Like what does she make of all this? Doesn't matter I guess! Also funny how Archibald downplayed it like "it was just one kiss!" It's like ok? Last time, it was one kiss. This time, you sang a song about soulmates, kissed again, sang a song about finding each other in a wicked little town while experiencing mutual pining, had an emotional affair and multiple meet ups in the bunker, had enough feelings to write a love song to Betty, and was about to leave Veronica for Betty until Betty shut the idea down. But yeah, it was just a kiss!

Stg Varchie are gonna end up like the song "Me and My Husband" bc is there a reason she felt compelled to handle the situation with so much grace? Maybe too much? Can't let yourself get too upset bc it might "implode" Bughead? So what? Isn't Jughead entitled to the truth, or does Veronica still value Betty's feelings over her own for some reason? And Varchie will just date until graduation, then break up...why? It's like there's this invisible force that's making the couples feel like they have to stay together to uphold the status quo or something. Such toxic positivity. Let's act like nothing is wrong bc draguation is coming up! Ugh, don't even remind me of how Archie didn't even do drag in the Hedwig ep. But anyway, all their interpersonal relationships have become so fake and performative. Varchie's convo felt like a couple trying to discuss the best way to go about breaking up to have the best PR...everyone is afraid to rock the boat too much. And everyone else is reacting so unemotionally that Veronica feels out of place for crying even though her reaction is the probably the most normal. Just seems like Varchie both dc about their relationship at all at this point. And they're gonna put them back together bc her husband will be Hiram Jr. and she'll have no other options? K!

Speaking of toxic positivity, what's up w this message that you have to stand by your family no matter what? Veronica's friends were all in on knowing about Barchie and not one person decided to tell her the truth. And that mixed with Hiram's "disease" just made it feel like the only people on earth who will ever prioritize her are her toxic family. Same with Cheryl. Like since when is family the most important to her? She goes back and forth between loving and hating Penelope. And how am I supposed to think her Nana is someone good for her to be around when she raised a monster bootyhole like Clifford? Like you don't have to be endlessly loyal to your family if they do nothing but cause you trauma. No one is entitled to your loyalty.

Also, Choni's breakup felt just as robotic as Varchie's. Like "i will always remember our times together TT" or something and Toni says "ok bye babe." Plus was it supposed to be cute or iconic that Cheryl demanded prom queen like she demands all her parts in the musicals? Bc maybe for once they could've tried to give her a human moment and had her campaign for someone else to win. Or maybe have all her friends team up and vote for her without her demanding it to signify that she has actually managed to build some genuine friendships over these last few years. But of course she hasn't. No one has. Who talks in this show unless they need a favor?

Cheryl also kinda came off manipulative when she only expressed remorse when Toni was about to break up w her. She didn't think she did anything wrong before that bc she has never respected Toni's boundaries and views Toni's desire for autonomy as a personal attack/betrayal. This mixed with her losing touch with actual people who have been there for her (Veronica and Archie) in favor of becoming suddenly buddy-buddy w Bughead (even though they blackmailed her to save FP and only talk to her when they need a favor) and forming a possessive (and apparently not emotionally fulfilling since she was still seeking out Jason's corpse for companionship when they were together) relationship with Toni that she has now lost has left her feeling alone again...just like she did after Jason died. She hasn't made any progress in the past four seasons in working through her trauma and has only gotten worse. She needs to seek out healthy relationships with people who hear her out and offer her empathy/compassion but also stand their ground and have appropriate boundaries. Kinda like her friendship w Veronica in season 1, but it's not season 1 so I quit!

Also, is there a reason this was marketed as a storyline for Toni even though her perspective was shown zilch times? Right...but instead, Cheryl will go on about being "a victim of the family curse" while still standing by her family. Somebody help my bestie bc she needs to gtfo and go date Donna! I said what I said!

P.S. When Mary said endgame...and she thought I wasn't gonna clock her on that! Plus if Fangs wanted prom king so bad, why didn't he get mad that Kevin didn't stand up to Cheryl on his behalf or even try? Idk at least then, they would have dialogue!

#riverdale #barchie #bughead #varchie #anti barchie #anti bughead #anti varchie #choni #anti choni #betty cooper #jughead jones #veronica lodge #cheryl blossom #archie andrews #toni topaz

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What the Euphoria characters would eat at lunch:

Jules would bring some shrimp from home.

Rue would eat Jules' shrimp poop/tails.

Maddy would devour garlic.

Cassie would enjoy some soup in a thermostat.

Nate would pack pork butt.

Kat would bring in sardines/anchovies/tuna but buy 2 milks at school.

Lexi would get it up in with some egg salad straight up.

Little Fez would consume a Lunchable.

Fez would ingest a Lunchable as well, but off-brand.

Nate's dad would sit down to a delicious manwich...made with his homemade chili of course!

As for Bhad Babie? I think she'd have the school lunch, maybe Italian Dunkers.

Leave any discourse in the comments!

#euphoria #zendaya #rue bennett #jules vaughn #rue x jules #rue x lexi #nate jacobs #jacob elordi #the kissing booth 2

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PLACES TO DONATE AND SIGN TO SUPPORT BLM

(Do not donate money to change.org, none of their funds go to their petitions or organizations)

I Run With Maud - a fundraiser for the family of Maud to support them financially and seek justice. Ahmaud Arbery is black man who was chased and gunned down by two white men. (donation)

Minnesota freedom fund - raise money to bail out minnesota protesters (donation)

Official George Floyd donation fund (donation

The heart of a chef - Help pay for a black chef’s medical expenses

Justice for Sheku Bayoh - A black male who was taken into police custody and never returned home (petition)

Justice for Jennifer Jeffley - A black woman who was arrested at the age of 15 for a crime she did not commit (petition)

Abolish prison labor in the US (petition)

Free Willie Simmons - A black man serving 38 years for stealing $9 (petition)

Free Siyanda Mngaza - A young black woman sentenced to 4 1/2 years for self defence (petition)

Drop all charges against trafficking survivor Chrystul Kizer - A black woman incarcerated for using self defence against a trafficker (petition)

Justice for Zinedine - A black woman who was r*ped and he walks free. (petition)

Justice for Joāo Pedro - A 14 year old black boy who was shot in his home by the Rio de Janeiro police and died. 72 bullet holes were found in his home. (petition)

Justice for Sean Reed - A young black man who’s life ended after excessive violence by the cops against him while he was unarmed. (petition)

Justice for Breonna Taylor - A black woman, an award winning EMT who was killed by police in her home after an illegal unnanounced drug raid. They went to the WRONG HOUSE. (petition)

Exonerate Eric Riddick - A black man who was sentenced to life in prison for a crime he did not commit in 1992. There was no physical evidence. (petition)

Justice for Elijah Nichols - A black man who was attacked by a predominantly white fraternity party, stabbed his attackers in self defence, and is now incarcerated for it. (petition)

Justice for Emerald Black - A black pregnant woman who was attacked by the police for having bad registration tags. She was stomped in the stomach causing her to miscarry. (petition)

Justice for Amiya Braxton - A black child who was hit by a car. No one took her case serious and the driver was not charged. (petition)

Justice for Belly Mujinga - A black woman who was attacked while she had COVID-19 which likely lead to her death.(petition)

Justice for Tamir Rice - A 12 year old black boy who was shot and killed by officers for playing with a toy gun. The officers were not charged. (petition)

Justice for Andile Mchunu - A missing black man who was last seen beaten by a group of men. (petition)

Disbarment of George E. Barnhill - The man who decided to sit on the case of Ahmaud Arbery. (petition)

Criminal charges against Travis and Greg McMichael in the murder of black jogger Ahmaud Arbery. (petition)

Correcting a wrongful conviction against Kyjuanzi Harris - A black man who was arrested without cause. He has been in prison for 9 years now. (petition)

Justice for Darrius Stewart - A black man who was killed by a cop for a mistaken identity. (petition)

Reopen Kendrick Johnsons case - A black man who was killed by a man through a jealous fight over a girl. The autopsy revealed that his death was not accidental, the man admits to murder, yet the case is closed. (petition)

Raise the degree - remove bail for Derek Chauvin, the man who killed George Floyd (petition)

Exoneration of Albert Wilson - A black male wjo was sentenced by an all white jury 12 years for making out with a white woman in a bar. (petition)

Julius Jones - An innocent man set to be excecuted in oklahoma (petition)

Junk the anti-terrorism bill- a bill is trying to get passed calling protests, mass mobilizations, and political activities “terrorism” and trying to make them illegal (petition)

Justice for Darrius Stewart - a 19 year old who was gunned down by a white police officer (petition)

Free Wis. teen facing life in prison for killing her rapist (petition)

Justice for Alejandro Vargas Martinez - A black 15 year old who was shot 7 times while walking to school (petition)

I need to share this right now so I can eat but i will add more later! I DON’T care if its not ACNH. If this bothers you, unfollow me. I couldn’t care less. It bothers me how little I see donation and petition links on here, i have a good amount of followers on here, so see this. sign them.

Please sign them ALL. It really is NOT that hard. And share so others will do the same.

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You know what? I am gonna make a post...

Ok so a lot of people are saying this ep was good, but I have a few gripes w it. Like Jughead's whole story was weird, and everyone was portrayed ooc. Betty was portrayed as this ultra-logical and unaffected strategic mastermind meanwhile when she, Archie, and Veronica were going through a similar situation after Jughead's "death," she was actually pretty emotional and freaking out despite trying to keep it together. She was also the one throwing up at school after Alice made her hide a body, and she was in constant emotional distress over the Black Hood. Meanwhile, Veronica was the one who was generally more logical, calm, and strategic during the Jughead thing, but in his story, he reversed how they would react. On the one hand, he could just think it's cool for Betty to act like that and for them to be this troubled, emo murder couple like Violate but it's also weird that he portrayed Veronica of all people as the moral compass not once but twice; she was the one who was speaking out against killing Reggie while Dark Betty said "stfu V!" And she was also the one who wanted to call the police in his rewritten version and the one (w Archie) going on about how wrong it was for them to be wanting people dead. Even in that scene, Betty was still rolling her eyes and getting mad, talking about saving their own futures. Idk but I think Betty would be the last one to react that selfishly and if I were Betty, I'd be confused why my boyfriend portrayed me as so rotten in his story while seemingly having a lot of subconscious admiration for Veronica...especially bc in the one episode about the Farm, Betty was like "I'm not a monster, right?" or something, so I guess the answer is yes, or at least that's how Alice and Polly see you and how Jughead fantasizes you are like in his story. It's like Jughead thinks the idea of Dark Betty is hot or something, but that's a part of herself she has actively tried not to succumb to and that makes her hate herselfie. But then every time she read the story, she said it was good...right. I mean, maybe she actually thought it was good for some reason, but it also seems like she's afraid to say anything to make him mad, like their whole relationship is her propping him up bc hail the garlic. Like she shouldn't have to always be exerting herself to prove to him that she really cares about him. She babies him too like she had to say "i'll watch the tapes while u write your story" bc she knew if she didn't, then he would procrastinate writing to go watch the tapes. Meanwhile writing is supposedly his biggest passion?

Archie was also portrayed weird like a big, rude brute, and Cheryl cried over Reggie for why? She would be one of the least emotional ones imo; she sure didn't cry or feel guilty about Toni killing her uncle or whoever that was. In fact, she talked Toni out of feeling guilty about it. Also Reggie? If I were him, I'd be like "did I give u permission to write in your story about how my dad hits me?" Also, he was the only one feeling guilty or acting like a huge idiot trying to get them all caught. Like does Jug have some kind of vendetta against Reggie or something? Lmao. And why was Veronica rude to him that one time, saying "Who would be stupid enough to work w you?" or something like that. If I were Reggie, I'd be like "...ok? Weren't u the one who dumped me? Why are u out here throwing shade?" But I guess Veronica's not allowed to have friends, so they have to make her act snarky toward people for no reason like she did w Cheryl at the beginning of Season 2.

Anyway, it was also so annoying how Betty had to think of the whole premise for the story along w everyone else contributing...except Jughead. And yet, he'll take their idea and write a story from it. If he plans to go to one of the best writing programs in the country, shouldn't he try to think of his own original idea? Also pretty sure those types of programs favor literary fiction, not genre fiction aka true crime/horror. Like maybe he should become a detective or a journalist since he seems to enjoy solving cases and writing about them (he's practically a true crime nonfiction writer) than actually thinking of an original fiction piece and writing about that. Plus is his life really so boring that he has to keep exploiting the traumas of Cheryl, Betty, and even Reggie for his stories? Like write about your own experiences, Forsythe! Also interesting how Betty was acting robotic and weird all season from the FBI plot through her involvement w the Stonewall plot, then started showing some heart again the past few episodes only to go back into robotic "my morals are blinded by my obsession w this case" mode again this ep. But yeah, getting fixated on these cases w Jughead really brings out the best in both of them!

Don't even get me started on the parents! They were so smugly that one scene in the hallway. If I were Mr. Honey I'd be like "who are ya'll? U care about your kids all of a sudden? And it's bc of prom being cancelled that you all finally decided to crawl out of your caves and care about what goes on at the school...figures." And the part at Pop's when they were like "we all have ur best interests at heart even if it doesn't seem like it" it's like...cool? U still all suck. And actions speak louder than words, so don't try to make it like your kids should just forgive everything you do bc "we love u! We' just don't know how to be parents lol. Oh well!" Like wow, that totally doesn't sound like an excuse to not only have a pity party but also to avoid putting in effort toward self-growth. And who does Mary think she is? Archie had to go through that whole thing w Fred about Fred wanting him to do construction when he wanted to do music before Fred finally decided to let Archie make up his own mind, but now Archie has to go through it all over again w Mary trying to come and pressure him into joining the Naval Academy. Like she's so out of touch w his life and will try to show up at the last minute when he's almost an adult and act like she knows what's going on. Dookie. At least she's dating the Navy lady tho. Werk!

Ugh and Mr. Honey isn't an angel now just bc the secretary said he did whatever for the school. Like are they really all so black and white that they assumed he did absolutely nothing good ever? People can be morally gray, but not on this show I guess. Meanwhile, if I were Betty I'd be like to Jughead "hmm, so Mr. Honey blamed me for cheating which I didn't do (she's the only one who actually didn't do what she got banned from prom for btw. Idk why the others were mad when they literally did stupid things worthy of being punished)...he also made me put together a whole yearbook singlehandedly at the last min just to cancel it. But bc he sent u a letter of rec, that's enough for u to change your whole opinion of him. Like forget everything he did to your gf right?" Kinda selfish.

Also that one part where Archiekins was like "we need a strategy. What should we do, Betty?" If I were Veronica, I'd be like "fuck my drag, right?" Like wasn't she the one who constructed a big, elaborate plan to help Archie escape juvie? Meanwhile, Betty constructed a plan that would've gotten them all caught if half the town didn't end up being in on Jughead faking his death. Guess she's just a walking wallet to these people at this point.

The cliffhanger was also a snorgasm so...yeah. What ever happened to Josie's mom? Or Mad Dog? Jk I hope he leaves and goes to college far away from these hoes. Ugh remember how Cheryl called her mom a monster again this ep? Aka she only conveniently didn't hate Penelope for one episode bc she needed a reason to quit Veronica's business. K. Also didn't Toni specifically not want Cheryl to find out the tickle plot bc Cheryl would get mad that she used the Vixens behind her back? But now she knows and is just ok w it for some reason bc the show will make either of Choni act ooc to avoid them having a conflict. Sounds like a normal and mutually healthy relationship. Can't wait for their wedding at prom! And for the new principal to be Alice or sumn. Ugh this episode gave my dog a tummy ache. Also Kevin got cut from Jug's story even tho he had one of the biggest feuds w Mr. Honey? How hetero. And now Mr. Honey will croak for real, and they'll all be under suspicion bc of the story...bc he just had to write about that instead of actually making up something not related to his life. Smelly dribble.

P. S. Even w everything else wrong w this episode, the worst crime by far was that grodacious yellow sweater w a zipper thing Betty was wearing! Somebody call the police!

#riverdale #bughead #anti bughead #varchie #anti varchie #choni #anti choni #barchie #anti barchie #falice #anti falice #betty cooper #jughead jones #veronica lodge #archie andrews #toni topaz #reggie mantle #jeronica #vughead #kevin keller

[heiterbroward]

(Trixie mattel voice) ok let's get into it...

Ok where do I even start? Why would Archie and Betty sing not 1, not 2, but 3 songs indicating they have some sort of intense repressed feelings for each other last ep just to go back on it a min later? Meanwhile what Cheryl said makes no sense but I'll get to Robert M in a sec. Why would Barchie kiss bc they're afraid of change or whatever Betty Boop tried to say. Like what's changing? You've been dating the same person for years and you prob plan on doing so through college. Bc they feel safe w each other? I think w Jughead and Veronica is where they go when they want to feel safe from change...isn't that exactly what they're doing? Ignoring these feelings that keep coming up so they can go back to what feels safe to them...Jughead and Veronica? And why are some people trying to act like Betty is more redeemable than Archie? Bc Cheryl happened to give her an explanation to rationalize and justify ignoring her feelings for Archie? Archie is prob confused by her sudden change of heart bc they seemed to be on the same page before she talked to Cheryl. But as usual, Betty is just trying to do what will hurt the least people in spite of her own feelings. The effects of being raised by Alice! I mean, they did the same thing though so you can't say Veronica deserves better than Archie without also saying that Jughead deserves better than Betty just bc u ship bughead. Plus what's their solution now? To avoid each other? And Betty will use another mystery to distract herself even though they make her miserable and remind her of her "darkness" but it's ok bc she's back to being an investigative duo w jughead! Can't their relationship function without having a case to solve or what? And isn't Nughead gonna ask why she was against the case but is now interested all of a sudden? I guess not bc he's too busy telling Betty all about his day solving the case while having no idea or interest about what she's been doing!

On to Cheryl. Everyone is saying she's logical this ep but I can't say I agree. First of all, when did Betty ask her opinion on her feelings or what she should do? Also, how does she even know the extent of Betty's feelings anyway? Funny of her to try and mansplain the difference between a fantasy relationship and a real one when her relationship w Toni is basically a fantasy contingent on Toni's complete passivity and compliance. Cheryl doesn't know what it takes to make a real relationship work bc if Toni brings up any grievance w her, she'll get defensive and play the victim, maybe even threaten to kick Toni out of her house or bully her out of school! Couple goals! Plus isn't she Veronica's friend? You know, the only person who was there for her in season 1? Yet she knows Betty is possibly cheating w Veronica's boyfriend and doesn't plan to tell her or at the very least show any concern for how all this will affect Veronica. Instead, it's like a joke or something scandalous and juicy to mess around with. And I get they're cousins but let's be real...they're not really friends...meaning that Betty only really goes to her when she needs something and she kind of kept a copy of Clifford shooting Jason, despite Cheryl asking her not to, which is now apparently circulating in a snuff film ring so idk...if I were Cheryl, I wouldn't be super concerned w Betty or her love life. But she basically made it a point to value Betty's feelings over Veronica's bc by keeping the secret, she is implying that while Betty is allowed to sort out her feelings and decide if she wants to be w Jughead or Archie, Veronica isn't allowed that same choice or freedom to decide if she wants to be with Archie despite him having feelings for Betty. Plus she quit the rum business bc it wasn't "fun" anymore after someone almost hurt Penelope...the fuck? Since when does Cheryl not think Penelope is a monster anymore? This show is just obsessed w kids having endless forgiveness for their toxic parents.

That brings me to Hiram. Sadly, he was right that a Lodge would never be accepted in Riverdale or whatever he said before since Archie, Kevin, and now Cheryl have all shown they will be loyal to Betty in spite of how it will affect Veronica, and it's not like it has to be a competition but practically no one has considered Veronica's feelings throughout this whole ordeal. Who are her friends in this town? Kevin stopped talking to her after season 1 bc the writers decided he was only allowed to be friends w Betty, Cheryl isn't really there for her and lies to her to protect Betty without the least bit of conflicting feelings about it, Reggie started ignoring her after she rejected him, Archie (who has been previously loyal and supportive) seems exhausted by their relationship and even somewhat resentful, and even Betty (who Veronica referred to as her "bestie" just a few eps ago to Katy Keene) doesn't talk to her except to ask for money. So is it really a surprise she keeps crawling back to Hiram? He's the only person who even shows interest in her day at this point! And she's obviously desperate to get his approval. It's just sad bc she came to Riverdale to start over and prove that she can be a better person and break from her family's toxic cycle. But even after consistently being there for people like Betty, Archie, and Cheryl, they still don't seem to have the same love or loyalty for her as they have for each other bc they all grew up together. They barely even have any pics of her in their rooms compared to each other. I guess it's good that she never fully broke away from her family bc then she'd be even more dependent on Archie and where would she be after he cheats on her with Betty and everyone values Betty's feelings over it more than hers? Guess she'd be alone! Also, why couldn't Hiram just actually change at this point? Like I know it's not realistic but imagine how tired we are...imagine how tired we are of it. But jk instead it's just another person lying to Veronica! Now literally everyone is!

The worst part though was legit the actual plot. Like is something wrong w this writer bc why the fuck did they make Ethel purchase a sex tape of Bughead that she kept in her house? That's literally child porn. And snuff films? And tickle porn? And they try to excuse it by saying it's not sexual...ok so I guess every time dan schneider shows a foot on tv it's not sexual bc it's just a foot? Like obv the implication is that someone is getting turned on by the tickle vids and that it's like a fetish. The fuck kind of teen show is this? Back in my day, the worst thing people did was cheat and do drugs...and yet those types of plots get more hate than the principal hoarding a fucking snuff film! F them also for making Mr. Honey evil. Like he was my homegirl and the only one making sense...now all the beasts can feel justified in their actions instead of taking accountability for doing something stupid like tickle porn...and they can take revenge on him (why is this show obsessed w revenge?) bc Mr. Honey ruined their senior yr! Idk I think their rotten parents are more to blame for ruining their lives than Mr. Honey! Jk tho bc he is evil! Is Charles evil too? So sick of her. I got nothing else to say so shut up! Ugh remember how Toni had to hide that she was doing the tickle vids from Cheryl? Every couple in this just lies and goes behind each other's backs. Also anyone else think the one scene w Veronica patching up Hiram's wounds while he was sitting there shirtless was kinda weird and uncomfortable? I give up.

#riverdale #bughead #anti bughead #varchie #anti varchie #barchie #anti barchie #choni #anti choni #betty cooper #jughead jones #archie andrews #veronica lodge #toni topaz #southside serpents #kevin keller #lili reinhart #cole sprouse #kj apa #camila mendes