happyliviin-blog

[happyliviin-blog]

bored on a Sunday night: a boring series It's been great and it's been fun, but my time here is done -Erin

#erinsstory #erinspics #happyliviin

[happyliviin-blog]

how do you know if you're in love???

I honestly asked my friend this same question just hours ago as I was clueless myself but thinking about it now I think it’s when for the first time after what seemed like a dreadful year (or life), you look forward to waking every morning knowing he (let’s use he as it’s me talking) will be there for you. I think it’s just plain seeing him and being happy that’s he’s around. It’s being happy just by hearing his voice. No matter how bad your day is, one message from him would make your entire day. It’s when he makes you want to write long letters and huge poems. It’s not all about “lust”- it’s more of the intimate relationship you have together. It’s when the simplest of things count. It’s when you start to mature and start to plan something with him for the future. It’s when he makes you want to start fixing your life. It’s when he’s always in your head 3 pm or 3 am. It’s when you can’t stop talking or thinking about him. It’s when you just really always miss him even if he’s right beside you. It’s the “I used to like green eyes but now blue eyes are my favorite”. It’s when all love and cheesy stuff just apply for him. It’s when you begin to see nothing but him and you value him like you value yourself. It’s not the “heart pounding, hands sweating” feeling but more of the “I feel home” feeling. It’s more of like talking to yourself- being yourself with someone without worries. It’s when you begin to really trust him with everything and that includes your happiness. It’s when he’s your happiness. It’s when subconsciously you change for the better. It’s when you once again start opening up after a long time. It’s when you are denying it at most cause you are afraid of how strong you feel and last I think while you’re reading this- there’s someone in your head right now and you’re just contemplating whether you’re in love with him or not but hey the fact that he or she is the person (out of billions of people) in your mind while you read this must say a lot.

[happyliviin-blog]

i still do

okay so i havent been on here in approximately FOREVER! so just to preface (is that even the right word) this post is about to get pretty dark and dumb, which im sure i will regret later and want to delete but whatever so here it goes...

SOOO i was recently reading through my journal and there were a lot of little snippets of it that really stuck out to me so i though i would share them and maybe talk about them a little bit because im in a mood and this seems like the only way to go about doing it so lets just jump right in 

“im tired of being sad”  wow what a way to start this, one of like the saddest things i think i read of my writing. i never realized before how emotionally and physically draining it is to be sad. it actually takes a lot of effort to be upset and it sucks. 

“i wish i was happier with myself” okay well lets just keep up with the really depressing things in my journal why dont we because that seems to be the theme. its honestly heartbreaking to see some of the things i have written and 100% of the time i dont even know where these feelings come from. 

“i dont know how to be happy” i in NO way, shape or form have a crappy life of any sort so i feel like i have no excuse to be feeling the way i do but i fucking do and it sucks. i guess you dont have to have a reason for being sad, but i personally feel like i have to justify why i feel these things 

“i want to change but i dont know how” alright quick shout out to my girl aubry. i have noticed so much lately how confident and positive of a person she is and it makes me happy everyday to see how much she loves herself and i wish i could be more like her!! teach me your ways babeeee

“everyone says ill be okay one day, but when will that day come” yeahh so i hate being told that time helps and stuff like that (even though im a hypocrite and probably have said the same things to people before) because then i feel like i just sit around waiting for things to change, but thats not how the world works. i just need to get off my ass and do something about it but i guess i dont know how :/

okay this is a dumb one and i feel like a middle schooler putting this on here but fuck it.. “of course the one time i actually make an effort to have a relationship with a guy he leaves in four days” true story, i met an actually really nice guy and of fucking course hes just in town for an internship and is leaving this weekend to go back home/school. just my luck. 

i hate going back and reading these things because it hurts to see that i ever felt these things but mostly im mad that i still do 

its been great and its been fun but my time here is done 

-Erin 

#happyliviin #Erinsstory

[happyliviin-blog]

There it was

A good week ago i finished my first year of college and i loved it. Every minute, i did not regret it, even if i would of done anything to not go to practice. I miss every minute of it already. As J left, water welted in my eyes. As I left my Bahama “friend” without a kiss and just a friendly bye, i felt pain. Pain i wasn't going to show him, but just played it off. I was NOT suppose to be getting attached and that why he didn't kiss me. So i had to show him i didn't care. I simply left. I hit and miss his snaps too, but as I'm face timing him now...i just get this feeling. I put his hoodie on the other day bc i was freezing and that was the only thing i had and as i smelled it, i remembered him exactly. His nappy hair, goofy smile, always dancing, high pitched singing, and even sleeping with him naked. I miss it all, but its so easy to see that it can't last. I even find myself saying you aren't my type. But why is it hard? Bc i gave you my all? Bc I'm not trying to separate myself that much? But yes, college is over. I miss my friends and my own lifestyle. There was freshmen year. There it was.

#happyliviin #AubrysStory

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I told myself so

I saw you at softball practice while you were at track. You ran and ran and would say hi to me between laps even though we never talked. I remembered you as the tall and very dark dude who was kinda weird. You'd come to my table at lunch and touch my hair and said you like it. Id even catch you staring at me in the cafe. I didn't ever say anything to you, but i told my friend about you. The weird dude. You got my snapchat and thats how it started. I was determined to be just friends, thats it. I told myself I would not get attached. I knew you lived in a different country and that you had a child, maybe even a girlfriend still. But look at me now. All those little conversations in the cafe, snap chatting all the time, seeing you at practicing, going into town just us and saying its not a date and “carrying” you to Walmart because you don't have a car here, it all added up. I caught feelings. 

#AubrysStory #happyliviin

[happyliviin-blog]

random late night thoughts 😳

I was reading through questions on a website for no apparent reason and one of them was “what’s your biggest fear?” My default answer has always been “dying” but when I actually sat there and thought about it, it’s not really that my biggest fear is dying (it is scary) but I think my biggest fear is not living my life to the fullest. This is literally the cheesiest thing and I’m sorry you are reading this right now. But I think that’s my biggest fear and I hope one day I won’t be able to say that because I hope to be living my life to the fullest because this is the only life I have (that I know of)...... It’s been great and it’s been fun but my time here is done 💙 Erin

#erinsstory #happyliviin

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I really want a new tattoo... I want a bigger one but that’s such a commitment and idk what to really get :/

#macksstory #happyliviin

[happyliviin-blog]

26 activities to help your mind, body and soul. some important facts to remember about self care:

self care makes you more energetic and mentally present.

you technically don’t have to do anything and it can still be an act of self care. self care is about genuine fun and relaxation.

self care can help you build self esteem.

self care does not mean you are choosing between yourself and others. it does not make you selfish.

self care is important to maintain a healthy relationship with yourself and others.

self care is essential.

[happyliviin-blog]

i miss the warm weather when everything was better It’s been great and it’s been fun but my time here is done <3 Erin

#happyliviin #erinsstory #erinspics #rhyming #my pics #my picture #tattoos #sunset #lake

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missing Florida...

#macksstory #happyliviin #florida #beach #my pics #key west

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she lays in bed listening to the quiet of the night. she opens a book and suddenly everything seems bright.

It’s been great and it’s been fun but my time here is done <3 Erin

#erinsstory #erinspics #my poem #my picture #even if the sky falls #candles #happyliviin #books #rhyming poem #poetry

[happyliviin-blog]

Bettering Yourself

I hate New Years resolutions because no one ever sticks with them, but I'm going to list some things I want to try or keep/start doing to better myself. Maybe this will help you too.

1. Read a book a month

2. Walk my dog whenever I can (no excuses)

3. Drink plenty of water

4. GO TO THE GYM AT LEAST X3 A WEEK

5. Get a massage

6. Roadtrip/ hotel party (close)

7. Sneak out

8. Try a yoga/cycling class etc

9. Take and print more pictures

10. Go camping

11. Go on vacation (far)

12. Strive for your dream. NO MATTER WHAT.

13. Be so incredibly nice to everyone. Even those who get under your skin.

14. Go out of the way to say hi or make someones day

15. Skydive

16. Get yet another tattoo

17. Watch the sunrise

18. Learn to longboard

19. Care for someone with so much love and getting it in return

20. BE HAPPY AND POSITIVE

#AubrysStory happyliviin

[happyliviin-blog]

fave 2016 mems

snorkeled in Florida with my best friend

also got a tattoo with her ^^ while there

left the job that made me unhappy

jet skied for the first time

cut my hair

got my license

went to the sunflower fields

won 3rd in a pumpkin decorating contest

lit my hand on fire

graduated high school

sat on a jet ski in the middle of the lake while it rained

passed my first semester of college

watched Gilmore Girls with Erin after she got her wisdom teeth out

anytime I went ice skating

posted two poems :/

spent time with my younger brother

started this blog :)

Overall, 2016 sucked but I’m trying to remember to look on the bright side. I have a long life ahead of me and one shitty year can’t bring me down. Hoping 2017, will bring me happiness <3

#macksstory #happyliviin #new year new me #lol

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a whole year has gone by and so much has happened so why do I still feel like this? Peace out 2016 Hopefully next year will be better ✌️

It’s been great and it’s been fun but my time here is done <3 Erin

#erinsstory #erinspics #newyear #2017 #happyliviin

[happyliviin-blog]

Beneath the starlight Well past midnight You promise to stay Each and every day So together we sway As the music carries us away And everything feels right As you hold me tight

beautiful art by: @meabhd

#crappy poem #rhyming poem #poem #macksstory #happyliviin #a court of mist and fury #rhysand #feyre #rhys and feyre #poetry #not my picture #my poem

[happyliviin-blog]

how lucky do two people have to be in order to fall for each other at exactly the right time in exactly the right way

[happyliviin-blog]

(I feel the need to explain my posts a lot lol.) I like to write occasionally. Either because a story won’t get out of my head or because a topic makes me so happy I feel like it’s eating away at my heart. Anyway, I’m not a good writer I just enjoy it. Byeee :)

#macksstory #happyliviin