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I’m so f*c<ing paralyzed!!!! StUck! In this endless repetition. I want to SCREAM as loud as I can from the top of my lungs! But I can’t! I want to CRY how did I get here. Why can’t I move forward. It sucks I hate it but I do nothing… instead I say to myself just take the pill maybe two so you can be numb again and not care. Instead I lay here screaming, screaming and SCREAMING inside my head… #screamingmyfuckingeyesout #medicated #none
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When you’re planning out your life and imagine the family you never had it doesn’t entail the hardship. You don’t plan for your child to battle with depression or anger. I thought I had it all figured out. If our children had both of their parents, if we showed them love, if we provided a good home and gave them everything they needed and more... They will grow up happy, thankful and undamaged by the things we grew up with. Now the days of the kids being rowdy, drawing on a wall or throwing eggs around the kitchen seem like better days, missed days.The days social media and the outside world didn’t impact them. Now the unknown of what kind of adult they will grow up to be is daunting. Which road will they take? Where did I go wrong? Did I yell too much? Did I not stick to my punishments enough? Was I too trusting and forgiving? Was it the days I was busy and didn’t show enough attention? Or is it embedded in our DNA, depression on one side and bipolar on the other? How can I fix it? If only I could go backwards... Can I fix it or are we damned with our genetics....
#family#happilyeverafter#parenting#fail#love#little feet#teenager#teenlife#lifeofamom#plant mom#moment#snapshot#timeoutsociety
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There was this moment a child glimpsed out the moving car window, wishing someone would see the fear in her eyes and be her saving grace.
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