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me when people ask me how to say "I don't care" in french

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The IASIP meme of Charlie Kenny gesturing wildly at a conspiracy board, with the second picture added to his papers - the second picture being a table with 7 columns classifying an exhaustive number of ways of saying "I don't care" in French, based on how common, vulgar and funny they each are.

Column 1: Socially acceptable and common: -Je m’en fiche -J’en ai rien à faire* (*less formal variation of “Je n’en ai rien à faire” which still belongs to this category)

Column 2: Vulgar and common enough to not be shocking: -Je m’en fous -(J’en ai) rien à foutre

Column 3: More vulgar, and common with a ‘teenage’ connotation: -(Je)* m’en tape -(Je) m’en branle -(Je) m’en balec’ -(Je) m’en bats les couilles -(J’en ai) rien à battre -(J’en ai) rien à branler -”Balec’” (* omitting “je” is frequent and makes the expression even less formal)

Column 4: ‘Familiar’ (only somewhat vulgar, completely informal) and uncommon enough to be considered somewhat funny: -J’en ai* rien à carrer -J’en ai* rien à cirer -Je m’en tamponne (le coquillard) -Je m’en balance -J’en ai* rien à péter (* can be replaced with “Je n’en ai rien à …” to give it a formal connotation, in which case the expression belongs to category 6)

Column 5: Socially acceptable and uncommon/formal enough to be considered funny: -Je m’en contrefiche -Je m’en soucie comme d’une guigne -J’en ai rien à fiche

Column 6: Vulgar and uncommon, somewhat formal: -Je m’en contrefous

Column 7: Socially acceptable and very uncommon / very formal, enough to sound snobbish (and therefore a bit funny): -Peu m’importe -Il m’importe peu -Je n’en ai cure -Je ne m'en soucie guère

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In French we don’t say “I’ll die on this hill” we say “Je n’en démordrai pas” which means “I won’t unbite this” and I think it’s beautiful

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IF YOU STUDY FRENCH, LISTEN UP:

 Bon Patron will save your life. 

What is it?

 a free grammar checker that was developed by French professors

 not extremely sophisticated and won’t catch all of your errors 

but WILL prevent you from making dumb conjugation or agreement mistakes. 

MUCH BETTER THAN MICROSOFT WORD

What does it look like?

What’s it do?

it marks what mistakes you made (writes them out and you can also hover over them - I couldn’t screenshot the entire list because it is VERY THOROUGH) 

(I feel like I need to mention this is an automatically generated example, I’m bad at french but I’m not that bad)

says what type of mistake it is 

and what you can do to fix them.

What do I do with it?

Obviously don’t rely on it 100%, but if you’ve been staring at an essay for five hours it’s so nice to be able to run it through and have it catch the article you misused in the middle of the fourth paragraph. 

make sure you check again after correcting the errors because sometimes new ones will be flagged 

double check your work, sometimes it suggests corrections that you don’t need to make (since it’s a computer program and you’re a person)

BUT GO FORTH AND IMPROVE YOUR FRENCH GRADES (& share the good news)

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Ten bug-related expressions

Avoir le bourdon (having the bumblebee): being sad

Avoir le cafard (having the cockroach): being depressed

Avoir des fourmis (having ants): having pins and needles

Avoir une araignée au plafond (having a spider on the ceiling): being crazy

Un sac à puces (a bag of fleas): a dog

Prendre la mouche (taking the fly): getting upset, annoyed

Un travail de fourmi (an ant’s work): a painstaking job

Moche comme un pou (ugly as a louse): super ugly

Nu-e comme un ver (naked like a worm): completely naked

Des pattes de mouche (flys paws): an illegible handwriting

#un… sac à mouches ? 🤨 #vocabulaire français #expressions #french vocab

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Local vocabulary

#la france #français #vocabulaire #dialectes du français

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Pretty words

Here’s a little list of cute or silly words that you might have never heard before and would probably have some trouble to pronounce!

Ratiboiser, v : swindling someone (fam), buzzing one’s hair

Confiscation, n.f. : confiscation

Ineptie, n.f. : nonsense (posh)

Mirobolant-e, adj : fantastic

Saperlipopette : golly (old)

Hurluberlu, n.m. : crank, weirdo

Pécho, v : hooking up (fam), ex: Je l’ai pécho mardi dernier! I hooked up with him/her last tuesday! NB : a) sg only, A pécho B, they don’t pécho eachother ; + b) unvariable 

Balivernes!, n/e.f. : nonsense (old)

Goûtu-e, adj : tasty (posh)

Coi-te, a : stunned (rare) - pronounced Quoi

Ébaubi-e, adj : flabbergasted

Tohu-bohu, n.m. : confusion, commotion

Balourd-e, n : clumsy, rough (fam; annoyed)

Dégoter, v : getting, finding (fam)

Se coltiner, v : getting stuck with, ex: And now I have to me coltiner my little sister tonight because my parents decided to go to the cinema!

Tout azimut, e/a : everywhere, all around

Prendre la poudre d’escampette : running away

Subodorer, v : detecting, sensing

Concupiscent-e, adj : lecherous

Zinzin, a : weird, loony (nice loony, not joker loony)

Procrastiner, v : procrastine

Flagornerie, n.f. : toadying, butt-kissing

Et rebelote : same thing again, one more time

Bavarder, v : chatting

Chouette! : nice! great!

Brindille, n.f. : twig

Mille-pattes, n.m. : centipede (”one thousand legs”)

Pouf, n.m. : ottoman seat

Vachement, adv : a lot (”cowly”)(fam) your car is vachement fast!

Chou, adj : cute (”cabbage”, don’t ask)

Peton, n.m. : foot (kiddish)

Minou, n.m. : kitty, puss (kiddish)

Nounours, n.m. : teddy bear (ours : bear)

Confiture, n.f. : jam

Margoulin, n.m. : swindler, incompetent

Moufle, n.f. : mitten

Coquecigrue, n.f. : absurdity (Pigwidgeon‘s french name)

Pâtisserie, n.f. : pastry

Tapisserie, n.f. : wallpaper, tapestry

#vocabulaire

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And so on

Proper:

Et ainsi de suite

Casual:

Et tutti quanti

Et tout (ça)

Et cetera et cetera

Et compagnie

Et j'en passe

Informal:

Et tout le bataclan

Et tout le tintouin

Et tout le tralala

Et patati et patata

Et tout et tout (kids)

Et patin couffin (old)

Nin-nin-nin(-nin)

#vocabulaire

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Je fus placé à mi-distance de la misère et du soleil. La misère m’empêcha de croire que tout est bien sous le soleil et dans l’histoire ; le soleil m’apprit que l’histoire n’est pas tout.

Albert Camus, L’envers et l’endroit

#albert camus #citation #la france #français #culture française #littérature française #french langblr #french language

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Vocab

la langue des signes français (LSF)- French sign language

la dactylologie- fingerspelling

un alphabet manuel, alphabet digital- the alphabet used in fingerspelling

la culture sourde- deaf culture

sourd.e- deaf

History

If a child isn’t taught a language within the first five years of life, it keeps them from being able to develop cognitively. For centuries deaf children weren’t given the tools to communicate and deafness was commonly associated with low intelligence. However in communities that had multiple deaf people a sign language often developed. These sign languages were not standardized but they were much better than no language at all. The sign language that developed around Paris is called vielle langue des signes (old sign language) or VLSF for short.

Another group of people who developed a rudimentary sign language were monks who had taken a vow of silence. Three different religious men, Pedro Ponce de Leon, Melchor Yerba, and Saint Bonaventure, all developed finger alphabets based on monastic sign language in the 16th century and it was Ponce de Leon who made the first effort to teach his alphabet to deaf children.

In the 18th century the Abbé de l’Épée saw two of his parishioners speaking to each other in VLSF. He was excited at the thought that it could be used to educate deaf children, but the language needed to be fully fleshed out first. He standardized it filling out any deficits with bits of monastic sign language. The language that de l’Épée produced is called langue de signes français or LSF.

Intelligibility with Other Sign Languages

Check out this map. It shows the various families of signed languages. The gray blue color is LSF and influenced languages like Mexican sign language. The dark blue represents ASL and influenced languages (do not ask me about the periwinkle I am ignorant). Like French and English, LSF and ASL are related but largely mutually unintelligible. 

This is due to a man called Laurent Clerc. He was a student of l’Épée who founded a school for the deaf in the US. He started out teaching straight LSF, but he picked up local signs from his students and incorporated them. Just like  l’Épée used the local sign languages in France and filled out the gaps with monastic sign language, Clerc used the local sign languages in New England and filled in the gaps with LSF resulting in a new language. (The development of ASL is more complicated than that, but I digress).

The biggest similarity is their alphabets. Check out this video of an ASL speaker and an LSF speaker signing their alphabets together. 

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Nouns with a voiced final -s

Albatros - albatross

Albinos - albino

Ananas - pineapple (optional)

As - ace (card)

Biceps - bicep

Blocus - blockade

Bonus - bonus

Bus - bus

Cacatoès - cockatoo

Cactus - cactus

Campus - campus

Cassis - blackcurrant

Consensus - consensus

Couscous - couscous

Cubitus - ulna

Cursus - degree course

Express - express

Fils - son (sg+pl)

Gratis - free (informal)

Hélas - alas

Humérus - humerus

Infarctus - infarct

Jadis - once (formal)

Laps de temps - period of time

Lys - lily (plant)

Maïs - corn

Mars - Mars, March

Minus - loser (corny/old)

Moeurs - social manners (pl) *common mistake

Myosotis - forget-me-not (plant)

Oasis - oasis (f)

Os - bone (singular)

Ours - bear (sg+pl)

Palmarès - list of achievements

Pancréas - pancreas

Pastis - pastis (alcohol)

Pelvis - pelvis

Processus - process

Radius - radius

Rhinocéros - rhino

Rictus - smirk

Sas - security door

Sens - sense

Tennis - tennis

Terminus - terminus

Tournevis - screwdriver

Triceps - tricep

Tricératops - triceratops

Uranus - Uranus

Utérus - uterus

Vasistas - spyhole

Vénus - Venus

Virus - virus

Vis - screw (fem)

N.B. 1: Proper nouns keep a voiced -S (Agnès, Texas, Tunis).

N.B. 2: The S of Tous is pronounced when the word is a pronoun - which replaces a noun (Je les ai tous - I have them all); Plus depends on the context.

#prononciation

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Vocabulaire du jour

pépite (f) — 1: (metal) nugget, 2: chip, piece ( pépites de chocolat )

basse (f) — bass voice

se livrer à ( + nom ) — devote oneself to

se pencher ( sur ) — to bend over

ragaillardir — to cheer up, to make content again

mettre hors ( de ) course — knock out/exclude, get out

laisser libre cours à ( + nom ) — to give way/freedom to, to let flow

écarter — discard, dismiss

perfide — treacherous

tour à tour — one by one

de taille — major, high-scale

comme il convient — adequately, properly

à mon vif regret — to my deep regret

à la suite de — as a result of

cela n’est pas aussi X qu’il n’y paraît — it’s not as X as it sounds

#vocabularie #vocabulaire de jour #français #french #french langblr #learning french

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Five facts you didn't know

When taking pictures, we don't say Cheeeese, we say Ouistitiiii (marmoset)

The tooth fairy is a little mouse (la petite souris)

When someone sneezes, we say À tes/vous souhaits (May your wishes become true)

The names Louis, Luis, Lewis (...) come from Clovis, first king of the Franks

A boo boo kiss is un bisou magique

#la france #culture française

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Combien de fois me suis-je trouvé, depuis mes débuts dans la carrière d'artiste, la plume à la main, plié en deux, accroché au trapèze volant, les jambes en l'air, la tête en bas, lancé à travers l'espace, les dents serrées, tous les muscles tendus, la sueur au front, au bout de l'imagination et de la volonté, à la limite de moi-même, cependant qu'il faut encore conserver le souci du style, donner une impression d'aisance, de facilité, paraître détaché, au moment de la plus intense concentration, léger au moment de la plus violente crispation, sourire agréablement, retarder la détente et la chute inévitable, prolonger le vol, pour que le mot « fin » ne vienne pas prématurément comme un manque de souffle, d'audace et de talent, et lorsque vous voilà enfin de retour au sol, avec tous vos membres miraculeusement intacts, le trapèze vous est renvoyé, la page redevient blanche, et vous êtes prié de recommencer.

Romain Gary, La Promesse de l’Aube

#la france #citation #littérature #littérature française #romain gary #la promesse de l’aube

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I deeply appreciate the fact that Discworld translators add their own terrible, terrible puns.

#mais uuuh les mâles ils semblent parfois être un peu de mal nécessaire eux aussi n’est ce pas ? #( je m’excuse jsuis juste fatiguée )

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Wait in English it's the Tennis court oath?? Le Serment du Jeu de Paume is so distinguished and is evidently associated with extremely solemn engravings and paintings in my mind; the tennis court oath just makes me picture like,,,, Bailly on a ping-pong table

#Les députés to the King: Tu m'fais trop pitié tu m'saoules vas-y parle à ma main

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French Vocab List for Cœur de Pirate’s Dans L’Obscurité (2021)

Frôler: to brush against, touch, skim

Je frôle une presque folie de croire en un amour aussi libre — I’m brushing against a near-madness of believing in a love so free

Enfeindre: to infringe; to encroach on something

Mais dans ses mains j'ai compris, que les lignes à enfreindre elle les a franchies — But in her hands I understood, that she has crossed the lines to be infringed

Franchir: to cross (a line), to pass (an obstacle etc.)

Mais dans ses mains j'ai compris, que les lignes à enfreindre elle les a franchies — But in her hands I understood, that she has crossed the lines to be infringed

Sevrer: to wean (to cause to quit something to which one is addicted to, dependent on, or used to; usually, to wean a baby from the dependence on the mother’s milk)

Un casse-tête rempli de tristesse que seule je pourrais sevrer — A puzzle filled with sadness which only I could wean

Affronter: to confront, to face

Affronter le passé, qu’on s'impose dans l'obscurité — Confront the past, which we impose on ourselves in the darkness

S'embraser: to flare up, to catch fire

S’embraser aussi vite c'était croire en notre destinée — Blazing up so quickly was believing in our destiny

Not to be confused with s’embrasser, to kiss or to make out

S'emballer: to get carried away; to get ahead of oneself, to get one’s hopes up

Mais j'ai vu dans tes yeux que de s'emballer autant ferait paniquer — But I saw in your eyes that getting so carried away would make you panic

Fardeau (m): burden; trouble, worry

Et la douleur qu'on porte, c'est un fardeau qui laisse sa marque — And the pain that we carry, is a burden which leaves a mark

Brimer: to bully; to mistreat

Brimées dans nos élans; pourrais-t-on être aussi braves — Frustrated by our impulses; could we be so brave

Note: brimées is in the plural feminine form, which implies that both Cœur de Pirate and the other woman she sings about feel tormented

Élan (m): spirit; momentum

Brimées dans nos élans; pourrais-t-on être aussi braves — Frustrated by our impulses; could we be so brave

Full lyrics after the break

Keep reading

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Hey mom! I know what you call the beans you eat.... but what do you call these beans 🐾?

Des coussinets! (literally ‘Little pillows’) x