fatmiddleagedginger
Diary of a Fat Middle Aged Ginger in Portland, Oregon
My journey in weight loss during middle age starting at the age of 45...
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7 Things You Should Not Do at PRIDE!
June 16th, 2016
PRIDE, it’s that magical time of the year where we get to see gorgeous queens, gender queer folks, trans people, sexy butch lesbians, and half naked men! It is also a time where we can express ourselves without judgment, and let our freak flags fly! So as we scream a resounding ‘ YYYAAASSS BITCH!’ at the top our lungs, there are some things we need to remember, while still having fun at this year’s festivities.
1. DON’T touch without asking for permission
There are going to be a ton of half-naked people (or even completely naked people) roaming during PRIDE, so naughty bits will be exposed. I know it is tempting to walk up to that hot chiseled man who looks like one of your gay porn fantasies come to life, and I know the temptation to lick his abs is quite strong, but you must refrain. If you really want to lick those abs, all you have to ASK! Just because he is wearing nothing but Andrew Christian designer underwear, does mean that he is asking for it. But if you ask, he may let you! So remember children, consent is sexy!
2. Don’t pressure your friends to drink
A few drinks are fine, and having a little adult libation is okay during this time. But if you are drinking with a friend who doesn’t want to drink that much during the festivities, don’t pressure them to drink more! PRIDE is not the time to regress back to your college drinking days. Peer pressure was not cool then, and it’s not cool now. You friend who chooses to drink little to none is an adult who can make their own decisions. So don’t be that friend!
3. DON’T judge people
In the gay community, all year round, there are some who absolutely LOVE judging others. Unfortunately those are the gays who never grew up, and turned into the mean girls who picked on them back in high school. So even though reading is a common thing in queer culture, this should be a time where the library is CLOSED! Instead of judging the half-naked hunks, and slut shaming them, how about we just celebrate how many victories our community has achieved over the past 50 years alone. I’m sure the trans women of color back at Stonewall were too busy rioting, to even think about what terrible fashion sense others had as they fighting back against corrupt police in New York city back in 1969.
4. DON’T assume someone’s gender
You are probably going to encountering a lot of genderqueer individuals at PRIDE, and that is okay because it is a place for everyone from all walks of life. If you are ever in doubt about the gender of someone you meet, just ask which pronouns they prefer.
5. DO NOT glitter bomb every person you see!
Glitter is fucking fabulous. If I could, I would pee glitter. But there are some who don’t really care for it, and that is okay. If you are going to glitter bomb someone, just ask! Don’t be that asshole with the exploding glitter at PRIDE!
6. PRIDE is for EVERYONE!
PRIDE is not exclusive to the GLBTQ community alone. It is for everyone from all different walks of life gay and straight. For example, you could see a guy and girl kissing on the street, but there is a chance they may not be 100% straight. They could be bisexual and queer as fuck. You will also be exposed to other facets of the GLBTQ community such as Bears, and leather folk, and it’s their time to also be proud and out about who they are, and PRIDE is a safe space for everyone!
7. Straight guys and straight girls! If that hot girl or guy you are interested in at PRIDE is gay, don’t try and convert them because you want to get them into bed!
A lot of my gay and lesbian friends over the past few years have run into this problem at PRIDE. This event is supposed to be safe, but unfortunately it does draw a few creepers of both sexes. Now I’m not saying all straight people are predators, but the few that are make it bad for our straight allies when they walk up to a lesbian, tell her she’s pretty, and then try to convince her that she needs a good stiff one. It’s not funny, it’s not sexy, and it’s downright creepy as fuck! So don’t be that straight asshole!
So these are my tips on how you can enjoy PRIDE this year, so as a good friend of mine says, play and stay safe y’all!
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