ev0lition

[ev0lition]

Horrible day. Just an horrible mood all over, worse than yesterday. I've never been one to be in a mood when on my period but today I was about to cry for no reason. So I really need to remind myself what is good in my life.

Three things that made me smile today, 28th of August 2020

One of the reasons I'm so busy even if I'm on holiday is that I am going to thermal therapy in the morning. The woman operating the machine was extremely helpful today, I am really grateful for her help. Moreover, I feel really grateful to have those cure this close to home.

Sticking to my diet. Today I had more food, and I wasn't light headed. Tomorrow it's much more similar to my usual food routine, pasta at lunch and chicken breast at dinner, and on Sunday I'm free to eat whatever I choose. Thinking about what I'll eat made me smile 😋

My cat drives me crazy but I can't be mad at her. There's currently a huge storm outside and when she hears the sound of rain she sits in front of the closest window and kind of melts there. Seeing her so calm made me smile.

And you? What made you smile today? ☺️

#diet log #dieting #diet #pcos #pcosweightloss #happiness #happy thoughts #happy thursday #positive mindset

[ev0lition]

Things that make go 😁 today, 27th of August 2020

It's only 7pm but I am writing this down because it is one of those days when anything gets on your nerves for no reason. Or maybe it's the calorie deficit.

The diet. It is HARD, [part where I complain is being erased because it goes against the very purpose of this exercise,] but I'm sticking to it. I freaking am. My watch counts something as 1000 cal/day deficit but it's been designed by a professional that asked me many questions and calculated the nutrients so I'm having faith and letting the voices that say that it is hard fade in the background. Bring it. One day at the time.

Went for a walk. I actually like walking, especially when it is not too hot. I'm lucky enough to live in the countryside so I get to see a lot of green. I even met a cat (which let me pet me and scratched me, both multiple times. But still, I pet a cat)

I've only watched one and a half "episodes" of that photography course. In my defense it is kind of technical and very dull if you don't have a machine to practice with. But I've been trying to get in a mindset where holidays mean holidays and resting and doing what I feel like is perfectly fine. So of end up on Instagram or watch a couple episodes of Scrubs, you know what? It's fine. Not in school anymore, I should be able to do what I want with my free time without feeling guilty. And I will. In time 😊

And you? What made you smile today? ☺️

#diet #diet log #dieting #Happiness #happy thoughts #pcos #pcosweightloss #pcosfighter #positive mindset

[ev0lition]

What made me happy? 26th of August 2020

My cat, being affectionate

My palms healing. Could actually train almost as usual

Had a bubble bath in the evening. Didn't have one in years

Watched quite a bit of an online photography course. The previous times I'd fallen asleep after 10 minutes or so 😅 yesterday I watched various lessons.

Overall it was a great day, was really in peace with myself (which does not happen often). Just a bit busy.

And you? What's made you smile? ☺️

#diet #dieta #dieting #happiness #happierplace #positive mindset #I know this time it is very cold and business like but it's currently a bad day so I'm not really smiling

[ev0lition]

Didn't list my three things yesterday! Getting back in shape is a full time job and I'm so glad I started while I was on holiday from work

3 things that made me smile yesterday, 25th of August 2020

I fell asleep while trying to study for work. At first I was really annoyed, it's the second day in a row that I spend my afternoon sleeping and I feel like my holidays are slipping by while I'm unconscious or doing chores. But, you know what? If I fell asleep I needed to, and I hadn't had an afternoon nap in /ages/. So it makes me smile to think that I am currently able to do what I want with my time, even sleep.

I stuck to the plan I'd been given and did 20 min walking in the morning and 40 min walking at night. It's extremely time consuming, it would be very easy to just skip some of it, but I did it all. Kudos to me.

My scale is already on my side. It says I've lost 1.5kg since last week. Yes, most of it was bloating, but it's still satisfying to see how just a few days on the right track bring results

What made you smile? 😊

#happiness #Happiness training #positive mindset #diet log #dieting #diet

[ev0lition]

dancing lessons in the streets of seattle 

[ev0lition]

I apologize in advance but this one is a bit short because I'm super sleepy today.

Things that made me smile today, 24th August 2020

Pancakes. I managed to get three fluffy pancakes that did not break when I put them on a plate. Super proud of that, I nailed the recipe in just two trials. Photo below as proof it did happen (and to keep on bragging a little more).

First day of diet. Turns out that the portions I've been assigned are huge and, though the olive oil is a bit scarce and some meals do not involve it, I've been perfectly full for the whole day. I have a good feeling about this 💪

First time trying to exercise after I fell from a bike and bruised myself. A few things I can't do, for example no push ups with these palms, but I managed to do most of it. Also, I realized I'm getting stronger so there's another smile involved.

These are the bad boys I was talking about. And you? What made you smile? 😊

#pancakes #Pancake #smile #dieting #diet #diet log #happiness

[ev0lition]

It took a few months, but my positive horror series is finally finished! A silly little project I started late September ended up with 14 images and rekindling my love of horror!

And as always, these designs can be purchased as stickers, prints, bags, pillows and more on my Redbubble store! 

[ev0lition]

[ev0lition]

[ev0lition]

sending love to all those who are going through a difficult time right now:

💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫💛💫��

[ev0lition]

[ev0lition]

icons breakfast at tiffany's

• like if you save

[ev0lition]

[ev0lition]

When we were children, my sister had private music lessons at her violin teacher’s house. I only visited there once, but I still remember that afternoon. The teacher had an artificial pond in her yard, a large beautiful thing with lily pads and plant life. And in the pond, there were goldfish. I had never seen such enormous goldfish. 

I spent several minutes just staring at them (and trying to convince them to bite my fingers.) When my sister’s violin lesson ended, her teacher came out to the yard and explained that these goldfish were the same small creatures that were often unfortunately sold in plastic bags at state fairs. They were only about two inches long apiece, when she bought them and put them in the new, empty pond. In essence, they were like every goldfish I had seen before, but they had been given a much larger, much richer environment in which to flourish. As a result, they had grown into some of the most remarkable, vibrant creatures my twelve-year-old self had ever met with. All because of a pond. 

Funny what lessons children remember. My sister doesn’t play the violin anymore, but that was the first time I caught a glimpse of the overwhelming extent to which it matters, the way the world treats us.

[ev0lition]

My first attempt at oatmeal pancakes isn't exactly what I expected 😂

I guess I should have looked up a recipe instead of mixing the ingredients together and pouring some into a pan 😅

Mr. Google informs me that I was supposed to put a bit of yeast into it, and that the egg whites should have been beaten until stiff.

Practice makes better though, right? Tomorrow they'll look better 😁💪💪💪

#pancakes #dieting #diet #diet log #recipes #pcos

[ev0lition]

Hi, there 👋 I'm back after a huge hiatus. In the meantime - what, two years? 😱 - things have changed a lot. They've gotten a lot better, then less than good, then things have started crumbling down. Then I started eating my feelings, then COVID happen.

The good thing about the new situation is that I have swallowed my pride and my prejudice (no pun intended) and in December, when I noticed the first weight gain and general foul mood, I started seeing a therapist. Turns out that I reeeeally needed to see one. I have been bottling up my feelings for so long that every time I start talking about them now it's like popping a bottle of champagne 🍾 Half of them spill out by themselves and I usually get wet (with tears) in the process. Also, a big part of what I talk about is coping with my father's alcoholism so the metaphor stands. Plus half a dozen other issues that I never realized I had been facing. What a blast 🙄

It is not an easy process and I still feel our sessions as kind of unnatural. Moreover, I can clearly see through some of the things that my therapist says to me, or through her facial expressions, and I think seeing the threads is not a great thing. For example, it feels as if she's dying to be told that I really need our sessions and that I feel good about going there. Which I'm positive is part of the healing process because, well, once she thought something out loud with pure victory on her face 😅 so I looked the words up on Google and got a clear idea of what her diagnosis is and how she is trying to get me get better. Which, again, I don't think is too good for the outcome, because now that I know where I'm supposed to get I am not sure anymore if I want to get there and a part of it is resisting the... manipulation? Can't think of a better word. Not even sure it makes sense.

However, long story short: here I am with almost 10 kg more than 12 months ago. ⚖️ So I have seen a nutritionist and I am about to start a new diet. Again. At least this time it's tailored made on my body composition, habits and PCOS so I feel very confident that the process will work.

And since feeling better is a huge part of the process, I have decided to start doing this thing I saw online where one mentioned at least three good things that happened to him during the day to train his mind to see the upside of his life. So, here it goes :

What makes me smile: Saturday 22nd August 2020

I have come home from an holiday and my cat is spending a lot of time near me. She's not exactly the affectionate type, she's been through a lot and does not like physical contact, so when she falls asleep hugging your arm she is actually saying she loves you. It made me smile. Bonus, proud mama smile when she jumped on the sink to drink from the faucet. She's kidney problems and she has learned to demand fresh water from there. Great work Kira 🐱

I am starting this new diet. I'm kind of nervous about because I read the meal plan and it is pretty challenging, but it's been carefully planned and it shows. Today I went shopping to cook all these new foods that I don't usually have, like pancakes made with egg whites and oatmeal and whole grain rice with shrimps. It's new and it mighty be difficult to adjust at first, but it also carries the thrill of a new start and it feels really good to have a plan to stick to. Hard to believe, the most unorganized woman on the planet actually likes to feel like every thing is organized and under control. It's not a wide grin, but it most definitely brings me a self confident smirk. 📖

Today when I was waiting in line for my turn to pay a woman let me pass first. Okay, it is kind of the golden rule of any supermarket on the planet that if someone has only an item as opposed to a full cart the person with one item should go on first. But the holiday I mentioned earlier some people I thought were really close friends behaved poorly and it was actually refreshing to be reminded that good people still exist. Okay, I am still trying to figure out if I'm being overly dramatic or if it's only good for me to tell those people to fuck off. However, I thanked that woman twice with a smile on my face, and it was the most genuine smile I had in a while. 🛒

What made you smile today? 😊

#self care #dieting #well being #new start #diet log #diet #personal #journal #happiness #smile

[ev0lition]

Do the bones of your enemies count

never stop collecting little things that make you happy! rocks! buttons! feathers! flowers! sticks! bugs! bones! never stop!