esorxy

[esorxy]

Reggie, I'm sad, I want to hold you in my arms.

Jamie, I'm here, I'll keep you away from harm.

#what i thought of at work part 1 #and then swooned for like 10 minutes #james potter #regulus black #jegulus

[esorxy]

dancing in the golden refrigerator light, regulus standing on james' feet because hes still frail and weak, im sobbing a river

whatever our souls are made of was heartbreaking to read

Hanahaki is always beautiful and devastating but oh I've never had to work this long for the happy ever after. they were literally accepting that he was gonna die...

and in true marauders fashion, it's the secrets and miscommunication after all

every second of it was so very well written, i want to hold onto every last sentence

but i wish we got more of the relief, healing and domesticity afterwards, like

sirius smothering reggie with affection and then we see him pretending that he doesn't love it

them being overprotective of him forever

James treating reggie very gently when he's healing and princess carrying him when he gets tired. and you know regulus soaks that shit up like a sponge

playing in the snow and they make another snowman ☃️

ok this is kinda sad but imagine regulus gets injured again from quidditch and he cant play anymore. 1. imagine the hospital again except now jegulus is actually a couple and 2. reggie opening his bookstore !!!! (with remus)

im obsessed with the black brothers in this, can you tell

#whatever our souls are made of #jegulus ao3 #jegulus fanfiction #jegulus fic recs #jegulus

[esorxy]

Something about James Potter being hurt and comforted by The Gang is so captivating to read.

It's so new every time because unlike regulus, sirius or remus, there's nothing really in canon that authors can base it off, so whatever they put James through is literally off their head, which makes it usually really well written because the author is clearly into it.

James and reggie are lowkey a dark aesthetic couple

#james potter #jegulus #jegulus fanfiction

[esorxy]

euphemia when she said regulus tipped himself into the crimson river so gently that she couldn't not love him forever

{Quotes:Nitya prakash/Richard siken ,crush}

#crimson rivers #jegulus ao3

[esorxy]

reading this fic where regulus is so unbelievably fucked up with every problem imaginable and firstly, it's very addicting. who know fanfiction would be saving me from alcoholism.

secondly his various issues come and go out of nowhere that it makes me imagine author going through it irl and woop reggie gets their problems as they come. that's why it's so very realistic

it's my new favourite thing to think about as i fall asleep

[esorxy]

the urge to "read a fanfic of it' every time something catches my eye

I just saw a tiktok of walburga .... losing her boys .... and i want something to read

literally never had any feeling towards her before except hatred

maybe someone can write an au where she's nice?

#walburga black

[esorxy]

ATYD Sirius POV had no right to be that devastating, and it's saying something that the saddest fanfic ever is canon compliant.

and atyd already destroyed me the first time so i don't know why i thought Sirius POV would be better, especially cos he was the most hurt, the most betrayed, lost James AND Regulus.

The only way they could have made it even more sad was if they wrote their deaths...

#atyd sirius perspective #all the young dudes sirius perspective #wolfstar fanfiction

[esorxy]

Reading ATYD Sirius POV after i saw this tiktok which was said "remus is barbie and sirius is ken" with the audio like "barbie has a good day everyday, but ken only has a good day if barbie looks at him" - and ive only read 20% so far but they could not be more correct!! Sirius is down so bad from the very beginning without even realising it

its actually quite good that i finished atyd months ago and can't really remember it because this is like rereading an old fanfiction without the bore of re-reading the same paragraphs.

and i can't really list out the highlights like i do with other fanfics (mostly jegulus) but it's just enjoyably well written with thorough developments for Sirius' characterisation and coming of age experience.

i was like 50k words in when i realised that atyd entails astronomical amounts of miscommunication which i hated the first time around. its too painfully canon... i missed when jegulus would solve everything. watching sirius and regulus' relationship fall apart so far was devastating, and i know sirius is the protagonist but like really, he totally could have still had his brother somewhat on his side. and i love regulus so that makes me sad and want to read jegulus fanfiction.

tldr; pros: so well written and developed, nostalgic; cons: miscommunication as a theme, canon = PAIN & SAD

generalised highlights

- Sirius being so annoyed at peter everyday lmfao

- the way he tried so hard to get through to remus

- i mentioned this last time that Sirius was such a sweet boyfriend to remus once they started dating, but from the very start, he was always considerate and protective of his more so than towards his other friends

- i love this author and i think it must have been fun writing this because the plot is set, and all the dialogue and chapters are set, but they still manage to come up with a full story and somewhat separate plots. I think this is an excellent example of "everyone is the main character of their own life." but secondly, they knew very well what they were doing. sirius was subconsciously head over heels for remus, and the omniscient reader (me) enjoys every second of it.

- sirius' thoughts towards mary so far are so funny i cant. hes like 'i should be feeling something but its just not happening'. boy is so confused. all her flirting and hes just *panics*. meanwhile remus puts a hand on his shoulder and hes like "ive never experienced something so good ever". oblivious gay awakening

~~~

i FORGOT this was the fic where sirius hit regulus with a bludger and gave him head trauma, and then sped all the way down to the ground to him. and IM DISTRAUGHT theres no comfort for regulus in canon. im going to have to read CR or OTB again after this...

the toast bit <3333 actually so adorable.

sirius' life is just confusion, anger, confusion again, denial, convince me otherwise

~~~

- "actually, im always sirius" 🙄🙄🙄

- jily indifference club

- lowkey bored of wolfstar, sue me

- need to read MC regulus fics rn tbh

~~~

IM done!!!

final thoughts

- why was that so fucking sad

- Every fanfic author has a soft spot for regulus you can't convince me otherwise

-

#atyd sirius perspective #wolfstar fanfiction

[esorxy]

"I'm not gonna teach him how to dance with you"

says evan, but will teach him how to dance anyway because of peer pressure

- barty being jealous of evan and regulus getting cozy together, when theyre getting HIGH

- the amount of romantic tension every time they got slightly close. of course barty is all over evan, like who wouldn't be??? then evan freaking out every time, also who wouldnt???

- pandora's wedding was so picturesque beautiful, and then theyre building a house in that same place?1!?!? actually crying

- pandora's cat being named reggie the third, and i only realised when they were eloping. so that scene at the start where evan went to pandoras room i thought regulus was just casually sleeping on her windowsill lmfaoo

- barty and pandora being called an aesthetic couple, but evan and pandora are cousins with the same hair and skin tone GASP the author knew what they were doing

- barty is just like why work hard to earn money when i can just forge a legal document and rob a bank. honestly goals. meanwhile evan is like i work all night i work all day to pay the bills i have to pay

- marlene rocking up to a wedding and cursebreaking job in a band tshirt and jeans like whats up fuckers

- thanking the collective marauders fandom for the personalities they developed out of thin air for each character, and the FANCASTS, oH MY GOd. theyre all so pretty and look so good together, im throwing heart eyes

- all of the character descriptions matched my imagination so well. of course barty is taller and not too buff but still like kinda built, evan is shorter and regulus is just ... theres no other word except a twink (sorry). that scene where evan was like he could stop reg from dragging away him away because he is taller and bigger but regulus is stubborn af so he just goes along with him. and evan and regulus being all buddy buddy with their feelings oh theyre so adorable

- barty didnt need to sleep with all those people, he just wanted SOMEONE so he wasnt alone... *sobs* poor baby

evan at the start: youre gone, and i gotta stay high all the time, to keep you off my mind, ooooo

evan at the end: im in love, im in love, love in a hurricane

#i'm not gonna teach him how to dance with you #rosekiller fanfiction #rosekiller fic rec #rosekiller

[esorxy]

things i love in masterminds

- regulus just freefalling into the ground in the middle of a quidditch match

- narcissa & regulus. her crying when he asks for help. him helping her through her miscarriage

- moonwater writing fanfiction

- ok i didn't love this one but the shock of walburga just murdering orion at the dinner table

- the essay type references at the end of every chapter

- them (especially sirius) crawling into each others beds to cry abt the most minor inconvenience

- regulus saying adapt, adapt, adapt.

#masterminds (love made me crazy) #jegulus fic recs

[esorxy]

jegulus and anderperry are different texts in the same font

#jegulus #anderperry #dark academic aesthetic

[esorxy]

remembering all the insanely long marauders fics ive brainrotted over because i kinda forgot all of them. roughly in the order i read them.

Whatever happened to the young, young lovers?

355k, jegulus wolfstar rosekiller. post war (ended by regulus) where they just hang around grimmauld place all day. i literally cant remember anything that happened. but i liked how they stayed home and didnt go outside, because i relate to that. it was alternating chapters between post war and pre war, honestly i dont even know it was just so much relationship angst and regulus being incredibly competent and hurt.

All The Young Dudes

526k, the character development and buildup, its like the level of the actual series without the annual voldemort attack. i was DESTROYED by the ending, it lived in my brain rent free for like a week. why did it have to be canon compliant???! the way they spent so much time pining, so much time apart, and so little time together. but that theyre literal soulmates, which is so sad for grant (he suffered true emotional damage) lmfao. I guess this is the basis (canon??) of marauders era

we can be heroes, for ever and ever

102k alternate happy ending to atyd - yes PLEASE this is what i needed to heal the pain after reading atyd.

choices

624k. lowkey feel the same way towards this as atyd, except it didnt live in my brain rent free for a week. in that i respect that it's good and got heartbroken when everyone died and they didn't get their happy ending, but it did get me into jegulus so I'm not complaining. IDK it's just sad, but i love regulus and evan and cerci. even though i deadass can't remember anything else.

crimson rivers

865k actually SOBBING this fic is everything. so much plot and so much hurt, it is amazing and painful and intense. it has the most picturesque scenes, beautiful happy ending. but i did kinda get sick of it near the end cos its so fuckin long, and i was not into the girls in the fic so i was kinda cbs

just lovers

321k fake dating au. this is GREAT. its so light hearted which is a great change from the akckdjebakzj. this is the climb to the top for regulus being my favourite character. lowkey can't remember shit but i liked it and i need more fics like it because it was creative and there's not much room for that in marauders verse

only the brave

645k and The fic of my dreams. this is everything and i loved every second of it. every character is so great, and it got me into pandalily!!! perfect amount of hurt (a lot), and such good plot. it has every ship i like, i was like drowning in a hot spring of happiness while reading this

ecliptic

147k, oh it's so creative and new. it was so suspenseful cos we got 0 answers, and the fic is deadass incomplete wtf!! i love how everyone is sad but mostly rational. the jegulus was really really nice, and i liked how the cruciatus was made out to be a big deal so the hurt/comfort is better. i feel like the plot is better than the delivery

wolfstar my one true pair, jegulus my second true pair, evan®ulus has a special place in my heart, marauders fanfiction a permanent space in my mind for at least the next few weeks

new edit: shit! i forgot to update and i read so many more long fics and can barely remember them now

mastermind

311k i cant even remember anything that happened ... except i liked the dynamic between narcissa and regulus, and narcissa is so damn pretty. this was the one where regulus made james and sirius go with him to the cave, and then james had to force him to drink the potion, so much angst arghhhh.

all along there was some invisible string (tying you to me)

103k spiderman AU + high school and all i can say that its an original setting... the pining was great, and the spiderman kiss!! but other than that like it was good, i guess

I adored you madly, extravagantly, absurdly

243k Victorian AU with arranged marriage trans regulus. I loved regulus' character, he was so spiteful and petty but also down bad, and jegulus matched so perfectly together. i want his life so bad because his literal job was being married, like deadass he didnt do shit all day except read, play with his cats and pine for his husband...

a violent kind of spin

212k not going to lie, my favourite/most striking parts of this fic were the $h scenes... and i just finished it last night so I dont even have an excuse. james asking sirius to turn around and not even waiting for him to do it??? oml hes unhinged and it was so well written. the bathtub scene when he was on a timer and then just walked out like everything was fine!!! help it was so angsty im in love. i feel like i speedran this fic and didnt read it properly, which is probably accurate

Im not gonna teach him how to dance with you

122k. rosekiller is the BEST. i love the whole plot tbh and it was so well paced. love that for evan because nobody else is gonna keep by with barty's crazy. i would have liked it more if it had crack undertones but yknow whatever, cant have everything. i thoroughly enjoyed all the romantic tension in the leadup, the way they were both so in love im gone.

All the young dudes - Sirius' Perspective

628k, let me tell you, canon has no right being that sad, and the beloved author just fed off that like a parasite. i should have expected how this fanfic would destroy me, but the delivery made it so much more painful. i sobbed reading the Halloween and Azkaban chapters. and sirius,,, like why did you have to be so angry all the time. and so obsessed with remus from day 1. it was great. although like halfway through i just felt like ... wolfstar is so basic. jegulus once jegulus forever i guess.

I'm not okay (I solemnly swear)

105k and unfinished :0 the horror. it's so sad poor reggie im so sad for him he deserves the world and more but no he's just alone 😭😭😭

whatever our souls are made of

157k hanahaki where we really gotta work for the happy ending. OML it was so beautifully sad. reggie 💔💔. sirius said nobody on the earth deserves his baby brother, but if he had to pick someone, it would be James 😭😭 I'm a broken man

#marauders fic recs #wolfstar fic rec #jegulus fic recs #marauders ao3 #jegulus fanfiction #wolfstar fanfiction

[esorxy]

only the brave by soulmussa is the fanfiction of my dreams. i savoured every second of it and now that I'm finished, i don't know what to do with myself.

right. since there's too many amazing beautiful scenes, and also because my brain is already overflowing with content, these are the standouts.

REGULUS. ohhhh his competence is so hot. but he's also so soft. the amount of internal dialogue he has compared to what other people see is so great, he needs someone to understand him completely and he got that!!! and james. ahhh im usually not that into him but he's just so good??! I'm loving the lack of miscommunication we usually get in wolfstar fics

regulus and remus being straight up attracted to each other will never not be funny to me. like brothers in christ we get it. and don't even mention barty. he's just so ??? unhinged ??? idk how he does it. and the in love, absolute sweetheart evan is so into everything he does. they're so perfect im crying. i love how these characters have no personality in canon, and everyone just agreed that they're like this, each of their characters are so well developed and fit together, and i can have hilarious and beautiful scenes to swoon over.

like i love how sirius is so dramatic and unashamed to do whatever the fuck, and remus is always so done but is deep down a bad boy. wolfstar and jegulus just. cannot keep their hands to themselves. i hope they someday learn some restraint because lord have mercy, one day your brains are going to stop working entirely from all the short circuiting that happens the moment your boyfriend enters your line of vision.

anyway mwah best fic ever, im not getting over it for at least another day

but also why did marauders ao3 authors collectively decide that 500k+ is the right length for fics??? because firstly it takes so long to read, and then i can't be bothered to reread it to revisit all the good parts so then i just have to fulfil my brain by watching tiktoks and scrolling pinterest

alright let's end with some pretty pictures of reggie because he's rapidly becoming one of my favourites. i didn't even like timothee chalamet before jegulus fics but like he is the perfect regulus, and lowkey does look like an angel...

#only the brave #only the brave soulmussa #jegulus fanfiction #jegulus fic recs #jegulus ao3

[esorxy]

daily updates of thoughts while reading crimson rivers

afterthoughts::

this was so beautifully written and well plotted, it had some of the best scenes and dialogues, and had me swooning, in shock, all of that

(particularly regulus') character development!!! insane!!! this has left me unsatiable, jegulus has me in a chokehold

oh the romance was so sweet, and ever so rewarding after all of the hurt, both jegulus and wolfstar

my only complaint is that its way too long like i lost so much sleep over this, at the end i was so impatient i kept skipping all the side characters povs cos i just wanted to be done with it

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day 1. 10% (games just started)

it took 80k words to get to the start of the games .... what did i get myself into. and i saw tiktoks going like the jegulus WEDDING ?!?!?!?!?! love it when sirius cannot form coherent sentences around remus, but he needs some distraction they literally have the worse luck ever. I'm so glad they dont have horrible communication issues, maybe because theyre all about to die.

oh and if the jegulus parting 'present' wasnt the saddest way to separate especially since they think theyre going to die

aside, i keep comparing sirius to quackity in that hunger games fic and then i remember how much better the dsmp fanfics were especially since i can actually recall the details after like 2 years. back when i thought 100k+ was a long fic oh how naive

so so far, pretty good, im invested in the story enough to not be bored but not THAT invested

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day 2. 31% (games ended, just before interview)

im fuckin invested. why whyyyy so much pain. regulus never fails to be the most hurt in any room aye. and james being touch starved?!? i lived for that shit.

why was it that reading about the games was so thrilling. the life/death oml give my boys a fucking break. they're out now and still no comfort, the only break theyre getting is a break up wtf!!

asides about the games, james was just a dumbass about peter, evan my beloved as always (and glad that the author shares that sentiment), and what the fuck regulus just realising at the end that he had nothing to live for if james died asfhhdsjjfsgjjf

why the fuck was i not satisfied with reading cute one shots or 100k fics,,, the length of this, i don't want to sleep i don't want to eat god help me with this addiction

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day 3. 60% (second games started)

honestly the lack of a mcd tag is the only thing getting me through this. the hope!! i relate to regulus so much on that.

and that's also the only reason im forgiving them for all being fucking IDIOTS and not making the most of their time together. now is the time to profess your love and get your spine realigned my darlings

why is there literally a force field preventing james and regulus from being happy together??? well im not complaining too much because that means that anything they do now is extra special. regulus not being able to resist james??? gahhh im gone.

also them having tea together and actually starting to heal oh theyre so sweet they dont deserve that cruel world.

they literally chose the worst time ever to make up, at least they did at some point, but man they really confessed and got engaged right before... probable death...

oh the amount of pain my poor boys are going through, i wish they can all escape and live in some cozy domestic paradise with everyone they love. but they have to suffer first otherwise the happiness in the end doesn't count for anything.

oh. my. god. CRYING regulus trying to get sirius to kill him and then going soft at the last moment, and i can't believe sirius almost got baited like that and was really about to kill him. but REGULUS, oh my, my sweet gentle boy, he tried so hard, and the aftermath left everyone in fucking pieces.

it is 2.30am, and it takes literally half an hour to make a 2% dent, and i am HOOKED

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day 4. 80% (healing at phoenix)

regulus is on his way to being my favourite and it's entirely cos he's so angsty and unhinged. following through with all of his threats??? fucking hilarious, and his desperate love confessions and having a meltdown every 2 seconds. hes a wreck GET HELP.

sirius, such a literal icon, i strive for his level of don't give a fuck. "what pasta"?!?! my god i love him. hes so gone on remus its sickening. when dumbles asked for his blood, sirius being possessive?!?! if i was remus i would have folded right then and there, literally sold, this man owns him

james high and being obsessed with regulus the angel?!!! im swooning, literal heart attack material. best scene so far.

i love regulus' character development, hes levelled up to be james' first man. goodbye sirius but tbh he has more than enough problems on his own. oh jegulus is so achingly sweet i will not shut up about it. this is the reward after reading through so much couples angst. they love each other so much IM CRYING, the way regulus looked after him after the rescue mission, in all the ways that James didn't after the first games, oh they're finally together and happy, i would die for them.

i am PISSED at how long this fic is. the amount of nothing that I've done these past few days to read this, after this im going to exclusively read one shots for a whole entire week.

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day 5. 100%

sirius dissociating on the roof and remus sitting with him, im sobbing

yeah im deadass sick of the comfort now, theyve had too much that its not special anymore. i just want it to end already.

jegulus finally getting their dream life and dancing by the fireplace,,,, aaaand theyre getting married ahhhhh, my boys,, theyve come so far, i have no words

james holding regulus in bed while they watch the rain to help with his aquaphobia?!!! if thats not the most angsty romantic beautiful scene ever, im in love

why is it so fucking funny that james gets high from getting railed with a dagger to his throat, like legit my man CANNOT even form thoughts anymore hes so far gone 🤐

happily married with 4 kids, its too perfect, domestic, im in shock

aaand guess what im finally finally finished. that took way too long, reading fanfiction should be a full time job.

im never reading anything over 200k in the near future, that was way too much emotional commitment.

#crimson rivers #marauders ao3 #marauders fic recs

[esorxy]

im about knee high in this goldmine now, so just a recap of where im at before i drown completely.

🐺🌟 wolfstar is still my (and everyone's) one true pair. there is no universe where they arent together, just wish they could communicate a bit better. ben barnes sirius + matt hitt remus, theyre the prettiest in any room its not even a question anymore.

🌞💫 jegulus is the new and fresh but theres too much content that i cant ignore and now that ive read it, im actually slightly obsessed with it. and its regulus' character with timothee chalamet that just does it. and even though i didnt feel too strongly about choices overall, it definitely got me into jegulus.

🌹🔪 rosekiller, the ship which might rival wolfstar in visual because tiktok fandom keeps fancasting models ... and they somehow fit really well. my only problem is that the fancasts meet in the middle a bit so theyre a bit too similar to look good together but its ok cos i can just change them in my head LOL thats what all of this is anyways. anyway theyre unhinged as fuck and i love it. id even enjoy it with a side of bartylus like in whttyyl. evan is such a sweetheart and dumbass but they both have no brain cells so its just enjoyable to read.

anyway ive read whttyyl, bindings bindings, atyd + we can be heroes for ever and ever (to heal after the nightmare of canon), waterloo, choices, and now im starting crimson rivers. ive barely gotten into the 500k+ fics and i already cant remember each of them distinctly .... god help me

[esorxy]

and now the way i finish choices feeling absolutely nothing except slightly irritated.

starting with the mildly irritating- will i ever read something where wolfstar doesn't have communication problems??? like hold onto your anger for a bloody moment holy fuck

well that's nothing compared to the jegulus miscommunication in this. but deadass everyone was just so annoying. the only not annoying people were Frank and Alice.

like girl you cannot write a jegulus fic with jily endgame ... WHO am i meant to be rooting for man. in my mind the whole time James was with Lily it was so forced and not as passionate.

also i know Mary is meant to be badass but she annoyed me so much, lily and marlene at the start as well. like can they swallow their ego for TWO seconds. and mind their own business.

gosh can people stop giving remus some lover on the side after sirius goes to azkaban, like realistically he would get over it and find someone else eventually, but this is fiction what happened to his one and only, his i was always going to love you.

anyway this story had so many complexities, James was surely going through it, i like how every author subtly hates on peter and only write him in cos they have to.

but well after this IM INTO JEGULUS NOW there is something about it, like a less mainstream drarry lmfaooo. (and it's definitely something about regulus being so hurt all the time)

and ah cerci and evan are such sweethearts. best characters in this fic.

cheers to ridiculously long fanfiction 🥂

[esorxy]

the way atyd destroyed me 2 days ago and i haven't stopped thinking about it yet

nobody talks about how sweet sirius was after they started dating, yes they fought but the baseline was pretty fucking high. and i feel like the remus pov + his self loathing didn't do him justice, so he came off as being unable to control his anger, and not that sweet back to him. maybe i need to read the sirius pov

the two things i didn't like were remus' characterisation (i imagine him as being soft, kind, laid back, resigned) and how the ending was so not satisfying. i wanted that sweet sweet azkaban trauma. like honestly remus, the love of your life just spent 12 years in this horrible prison and is barely himself, you should be treating him like GLASS. i could go on and on about how i don't like atyd remus. ahh either way i lived for the sirius at the end, he deserves so much.

oh my. dorian gray ben barnes as sirius. gah just perfection. honestly no wonder remus was so head over heels.