elena7torres

[elena7torres]

Before they even know themselves

Sirius: *Grabbing his third butterbeer.* Remus: Enough. You do remember there's school tomorrow, right? Sirius: Shut up. Remus: Sirius: *Sighing and putting the beer back without opening it.* Remus: *Still reading at 2 in the morning.* Sirius: You do remember we have class tomorrow, don't you? Remus: Stop talking to me. Sirius: Remus: *Putting away the book and blowing out the candle.* Sirius: *Putting on his quidditch uniform while coughing.* Remus: You have a cold. You are not going to practice. Sirius: Try to stop me! Remus: Sirius: Fine! *throws his hands up* Remus: *Limping around the day after the full moon* Sirius: Sit down! If you're not going to use the crutch Madam Pomfrey gave you you're staying in bed. Remus: Make me! Sirius: Remus: Alright, alright. Give me that book and I'll stay put. James: You two are like an old married couple. You love each other so much. Remus: This idiot? Pfft! Sirius: Did you lick a hallucinogenic toad or something? James: Whatever you say, guys. Still makes me happy.

[elena7torres]

I totally can imagine remus lupin, modern day, listening to midwest emo and I can't explain why

#marauders #remus lupin #midwest #emo

[elena7torres]

can we make sirius that sirius again?

cause I'm so tired of seeing how he's currently portrayed by some of y'all

because the image I'm currently seeing is Sirius being a total idiot, like honestly dumb, he's lost all of the complex personality he had as a character and became remus' lapdog, and not in a good way

or he's just a sidekick with jegulus fics, always playing the dumb one and trying to get in a way

(also black brothers' relationship is underestimated but whatever)

the thing is that sirius' personality became flatter than the phone screen, losing all of his depth

just give me sirius who's actually a genius, but doesn't care about studying, he's obsessed with his friends because he feels like they're his only real sense of consistency left in his life, give me burnt out sirius, who's trying to fix something in himself, but is not sure what needs fixing yet

I need clingy sirius, but only at night, when no one but remus can see that he's vulnerable and he's not as cocky as he pretends to be, I need distant sirius, scared of commitment sirius, scared of himself sirius

internalised homophobia? hell yeah, how was he even supposed to feel good about that part of himself, when he grew up in such an environment

I need borderline insane sirius, especially after hogwarts, when everything became dark and all of his friends were dying one by one, I need irresponsible and unreasonable sirius, who was risking his life and slowly losing his mind, I need trust issues sirius, who finally didn't even trust remus nor himself

I need sirius tormented by nightmares, sirius who made a lot of mistakes and couldn't deal with his emotions the normal way, because no one taught him how to do this, I need sirius who can finally feel good about himself when someone hurts him or he hurts someone, because that's how love's supposed to work

well, what I need is just a total mess of a person, who can't be fixed at all, but he doesn't show any of that and just drowns all of his issues in silly pranks and tricks he pulls up with the marauders

#siriusblack #givemethatpls #favourite characters

[elena7torres]

a quiet sound of cracking glass echoes through the room

bloody footprints are scattered all over the place, they lead to sirius

curled up under the windowsill, with his head between his knees, rocking forwards and backwards

his feet are bleeding, the thin pieces of glass cut through his skin, leaving deep wounds

sirius broke a cup, just like five years before, when he left his home

but now, there is no fighting, no screaming, no elegant cutlery flowing in the air

just remus' favourite cup fell on the floor, because his hands were too shaky to keep it still

not a single sound escapes sirius' lips

the bad moon is rising

remus hasn't come back home for six weeks now, he was on a mission with the pack of werewolves and sirius hasn't heard anything from him

sirius's gonna chug some sleeping draughts and chain smoke until he falls asleep

moonlight reminds him of why his bed is cold and empty, he leaves bloody sheets and doesn't bother himself with taking the glass out

in the morning the bed is still empty, scabs on his feet sting, remus' favourite cup is somewhere in the trash

only the sound of rain hitting the windows is somewhat comforting

remus didn't come back once again.

#marauders #siriusblack #remuslupin #wolfstar

[elena7torres]

damn that's just what we all need

give me remus lupin who's only friends were his parents for the first 11 years of his life. give me remus lupin who longed for a sense of belonging so badly that he'd watch james and sirius kill snape gladly so long as they kept letting him. give me remus lupin who forgives because who is he to hold a grudge?give me remus lupin who was not proud to be a werewolf. give me remus lupin who agreed to wherever dumbledore asked him to do in a heartbeat.

give me remus lupin who gave up. give me remus lupin who didn't bother trying to get sirius out of azkaban because if he succeeded then things would've gone his way which they never did. give me remus lupin with a victim complex and a heavy mind. give me remus lupin who never drank or smoked because he knew he wasn't strong enough to stop.

give me remus lupin who was never mad at snape for exposing him because as much as he hated it snape was right. give me remus lupin who thought that not talking to sirius for a year was for their own good. give me remus lupin who went through hell and back and who hates himself more then anything but despite everything he has been through can't find it in himself to hate anyone else.

give me remus lupin who was gentle. give me remus lupin who studied hard for his exams because he had to, because he couldn't afford to be average. give me remus lupin who is soft and kind and who has to keep reminding himself that he's trying his best even though his best will never be enough.

[elena7torres]

"I wish my brother could stay young forever. I wish he'd never grow up and I was an adult taking care of him. Of all of the things I wasn't able to do as I'm a teenager." Sirius said one night at the Potter's, two nights after he ran away from home.

sixteen years old sirius clung to that thought as if it was going to solve all of his family issues

and randomly, a few years went by, and somehow in June 1979, his wish came true

and Regulus never really grew up, not at all.

and what's more, Sirius didn't grow up either, he was only tormented by memories, empty azkaban cells and dementors sucking out the last bits of his soul

"I wish I never grew up either. Being a kid is the best part of your life, Pads." Said James as they headed to sleep that night.

#marauders #black brothers #regulus black #sirius black #james potter

[elena7torres]

THIS IS LITERALLY WHO HE IS GODDAMIT FINALLY SOMEONE SAID THAT

speaking my truth.

remus lupin as neither a cool, suave, good looking guy or a kind, nerdy loser. he is a knotted mess of childhood trauma, loneliness, infatuation with his best friend, passivity grown from a fear of others fearing him, not conventionally attractive but unique in a way that would make an artist feel a compulsion to capture him, endearing in his mannerisms, shameful of his every molecule of his being, a giant inferiority complex, guilt, love, desires of conformity and fitting in with the masses, regret, loyalty, a want to be a sacrifice, memories, and mourning. he is a sheep with the heart and shadow of a wolf, that he tirelesly works to hide.

[elena7torres]

sirius black coming home every summer holidays took three deep breaths before and after leaving the hogwarts express

maybe it was foolish of him, that he thought they were able to stop those memories and racing heartbeat

one breath for james

one for remus

and one for peter

it wasn't.

a.n// lol idk if I'm good at this but I'm going to post short thoughts/stories/quotes here, mainly about sirius or from his perspective bc I'm his biggest fcking kinnie

#marauders #sirius black #thoughts