dizzociating

[dizzociating]

The Online Disability Discourse Committee will now rule on what words you are permitted to use to talk about your own disability, up to and including whether or not you are permitted to call it a disability. Our categories are more stringent than even the DSM, and we do not care if the terms you use are standard where you live or if they're legally and emotionally vital to your wellbeing. There is no appeals process. All the evidence you should need is "because we said so". If that's not enough you will be officially marked Ableist.

[dizzociating]

i'm regularly astounded by the cognitive dissonance some of yall have to accept that gender is a social construct with infinite possibilities with the capacity to be deeply personal and individual but still think there's a list of like 4 acceptable sexual orientations and if you go outside of that list or mix entries on that list or relate to them in a non-traditional way not only are you Breaking The Rules you're personally directly harming people who follow them

[dizzociating]

Disability diagnostic criteria has never been defined by disabled people. It has been defined by scientists and doctors, two professions that have historically been rather vicious about keeping out the "riff-raff". Because of this, almost all diagnostic criteria is based on the observations and opinions of abled people.

If you aren't disabled, you're probably some flavor of queer since you're on tumblr. Consider for a moment what the criteria for "gay" would be according to a council of not even average cishet people, but largely upper-class white cishet men. Consider how shallow and simple it would be, how lacking in history, depth, and nuance. How little it would center the experience of being in gay love and lust, how impossible it would be for them to fully understand what they were defining. They almost certainly wouldn't have any idea of how it affects your gender.

We miss so much by being defined by the criteria of abled people. So many symptoms that go unheeded because they're not in official criteria, only to find that they're incredibly common when we talk to each other. So much of the experience of feeling different, off, alienated, even when we don't know what is off. So much of the complexity of how our conditions interact and bounce off of each other in the ecosystems of our bodies and brains.

How much of the inner experience of being disabled is missing from how we are defined, due to it not being defined by us?

[dizzociating]

the idea that any space, community, or movement ever needs to be Kept Safe from the Fakers and the Infiltrators has done incalculable damage to every single fight for justice for every single vulnerable or marginalized group.

[dizzociating]

my entire sense of self and identity has been poisoned by spending a lifetime of putting in tireless effort to just be nothing like either of my parents. constantly scrutinizing every word and every mannerism and every emotion and every reaction, berating and punishing myself every time i notice one of my parents reflected in my behavior. years and years of obsessing over making sure i'm not like them, and i completely lost myself along the way. and yet i still hear my mom when i speak and see my dad when i cry and when i drink and i try so hard to kill those parts of me but they don't die and i can't ever have just one normal human moment without being reminded that parts of them will be stuck with me for the rest of my life.

#p #parents #trauma

[dizzociating]

#madd #maladaptive daydreaming #maladaptive daydreaming disorder #immersive daydreaming #p

[dizzociating]

ive always been alone and im used to it, more than used to it actually, its comfortable and it feels safe and i often crave it cause real life relationships take time away from daydreaming but then those moments always come when im deep in a daydream about love and friends and family and i feel the warmth and the joy as if its all real but then the sharp bite of reality sets in and that loneliness turns into an unbearable ice cold heaviness in my chest because the things and people and places i miss the most arent tangible and every time i come out of those daydreams it feels like im being ripped away from the only home ive ever known it feels like real life is the dream that im supposed to one day wake up from but i never do and every time i realize that i really am stuck here the bitterness in me grows and pushes me even further away from the people who have tried or are trying to know me in real life and i keep telling myself i want to be alone. i need to be alone. cause real life relationships take time away from daydreaming, right? rinse and repeat rinse and repeat rinse and repeat

#madd #maladaptive daydreaming #maladaptive daydreaming disorder #p #ok2rb

[dizzociating]

creating imaginary people to fill the void of not having enough significant and meaningful real life relationships. i'm sure this won't have any lasting ramifications.

#i'm sure this won't at all negatively affect my already strained ability to make connections with people irl #madd #maladaptive daydreaming #maladaptive daydreaming disorder #p

[dizzociating]

i get that people are more comfortable with defined rules and structure but i also think queer people lost when they started resorting to dictionary definitions for what labels mean

#queerstuff

[dizzociating]

'recovering' or 'healing' by starting to hate your former self + shame or mock others for being the way you used to be isn't actually very healing. you can acknowledge + be grateful that you have changed without transferring all your self hatred/shame onto others.

[dizzociating]

turns out spending almost all day every day indulging in fantasies to cope with trauma for 20 straight years can do fucky things to your brain. who woulda thought.

#(/s) #madd #maladaptive daydreaming #immersive daydreaming #p

[dizzociating]

#madd #maladaptive daydreaming #p

[dizzociating]

sorry i can't i'm busy turning what should have been an incredible creative outlet into a horribly unhealthy coping mechanism

#madd #maladaptive daydreaming #p

[dizzociating]

actually struggling to accept and deal with the significance of my life and self. i do things and it affects other things and people. i don't do things and it affects other things and people. god i wish i could just exist and just do things and not do things without it making any sort of difference.

#p #i don't want to deal with the consequences of my own existence #avpd #? #i think

[dizzociating]

me: "my daydreams are form of escape to help me forget about my problems"

also me: *daydreams about killing myself*

#suicide tw #madd #maladaptive daydreaming #p

[dizzociating]

the most important people in the world to me don't exist outside of my own head but no im fine.it's fi n

#madd #maladaptive daydreaming #immersive daydreaming #p

[dizzociating]

about

• this is a personal/vent blog and posts may be triggering sometimes.

• i try my best to tag all general triggers, but i can be forgetful.

• icon credit: (x)

boundaries & dni under the cut

things i am okay with

reblogging personal posts. if i don't want something reblogged, reblogs will be turned off.

tagging your blorbos in my posts (even the really personal ones). it doesn’t bother me so have at it.

things i am NOT okay with

playful teasing (if you’re a stranger). like if we have never even spoke to each other and you comment something like “fuck you op” on my post even if it’s a joke, i don’t like that. please don’t do the playful teasing thing unless we know each other well or have been mutuals for a while. if you’re unsure if you can or not, feel free to just ask.

tagging @/funnier-as-a-system or similar blogs on my personal posts without permission first.

leaving unsolicited advice (and similar patronizing comments) on ANY of my posts or in my inbox. if i want advice, i will ask for it directly. if i don’t ask for it, i don’t fucking want any.

DNI (this is not an extensive list of the kinds of people/blogs i block, just the ones i find myself encountering the most):

radfems

terfs/tehms/febfems/transmeds/gender crits

exclusionists

people who believe in "narcissistic abuse"

fatphobes

fakeclaimers

#p #pinned #about #dni #byf