derinkaplan

[derinkaplan]

And in the end,

It doesn't even matter || Selfpara

Mentions: @feykaplan @belkiskaplan @simonefms @hanaxrhee @junhorhee Brief Mentions: @jacoboh @veracalma TW: death, gore, staby-stab

Most of his life had been perfect. He had done everything according to the expectations placed upon him by his parents whether they knew it or not. Whether it's how they wanted it all for him, or if it was his own interpretation. He didn't truly know, but at the end he thrived. There's not many that can tell him he didn't live up to his family's legacy. Or that could say anything in his life was handed to him. Derin had built himself from nothing. Going out of his way to refuse any money or connection offered by his parents and putting his neck and back into every single accomplishment in his life. He wanted no handouts.

There were a few imperfections but he was merely a mortal. He liked to have a little too much fun on the side. Men, women, nonbinary- he didn't truly cared. He loved them all and most certainly they loved him too. There wasn't many people in his lifetime that he hadn't taken to bed, and the ones he hadn't he probably never talked to. With the exception of a couple friends. Egotistical. Prideful. Cocky. You could call him what you wanted but the truth never lied. We all have our faults, and some of his surrounded his sexually deviant ways. His inability to settle for just one like his parents wanted. Or to marry. Or give them grandchildren. That wasn't him.

He was a family man though. Despite never truly wanting children of his own. There was nothing that he wouldn't do for his family. He would fight tooth and nail for every single one of them, and he made sure that they always knew it. Whether by spoiling them rotten, or something as simple as calling out of work just to take them to lunch like he's done with some of his cousins. Or taking months away from work to care for his broken hearted sister Lunara. His love for her went beyond anything else.

"Call Lulu." Derin spoke to his smart phone as he began to drive. It was later than usual when he left his job that day, but he wanted to ensure that he got most of the next day off to take Hana out to lunch. He had taken the time earlier to send her a quick text asking to meet for lunch. With how busy he's been at work, he'd neglected to check up on her. Specially after the last three deaths.

L: [ answers call ] L: [ whispers ] abi?

D: Hey, there you. How are you feeling?

L: Fine [ shrugs ] Kind of. I went outside today. Actually went somewhere other than just the store for food. I… I forgot how beautiful this place was. L: How are you?

D: [he paused for a moment before answering] That's great. See? I told you just a little sightseeing and you'll never want to go back indoors D: I'm doing good. Working the same as usual. Went out with Fey to some rooftop diner out in Boston for lunch. It was pretty nice. I'll have to take you there someday. D: You have any plans for the weekend? I know this amazing pub over there

L: That sounds really nice [ smiles softly ] How are the sisters? L: [ laughs lightly before pausing ] Abi, I have no plans. I'm lucky to get out of bed most days. Today was just… a less bad day. L: Wait, are you asking because you're coming here for the weekend?

D: They're good for the most part. Fey's got this boytoy and a new kitten or doggie I can't quite remember. Bel's [he had to think for a moment because she does nothing out of character] Bel? I guess. Dee's been unchanged despite the asshole. That's a plus. D: [he signed having had already expected her answer] Let's try and change that, yeah? Maybe go to one of those reading places where girls find friends or whatever y'all do. D: I wish! [truly he did] but work hasn't really let up. You know how that is. I'll come visit you soon though? Before the holidays? Spend them over there with you if you can take me for that long. [he laughs] D: I miss you

L: [ pauses ] Are they happy? Safe? Okay? L: Have you seen Jake? Vera? How are they? L: I don't need new friends, abi. [ sighs ] I don't… I don't really want to talk to people, especially new ones. I also haven't read a book in… in months [ sighs deeply ] I'm… working on it, though. L: Yeah, I do. I was actually thinking of heading to LA for the holidays. Spend it with Lany maybe, but I'm sure you can come too? L: [ smiles softly ] I miss you too.

D: They are happy, and they are safe [ a little lie to not make her worry] D: They are doing as well as you'd expect. Living their lives. Working. Have you not spoken to anyone aside from me [concern in his voice] D: LA! With Lany? That sounds like an even better time [he grinned before hitting something on the road] Shit! Lu, I think something happened to my tire. Let me check it out and give you a call back? Maybe tonight if I can fix it, or tomorrow?

L: That's good. I'm glad L: [ pauses ] I talk to Lany sometimes. Sent Vera a gift for her birthday even though it was really late. Um-- No, I… I guess I haven't been speaking much to anybody. I want to talk to Jake but I… He-- The three of us… [ stays silent for a while ] L: What? Are you okay? L: Yeah. Yeah, of course. Call me when it's all better?

D: That's awesome [ he'd encouraging any form of interaction with anyone at this point] D: I'm fine, don't worry, Lu. Just this dang tire. I must have hit a nail or something on the road. D: I'm going to probably call AAA so if you don't hear from me tonight, definitely tomorrow. D: I love you

It was pretty dark out right now but he needed to assess the damage to his car. He was near enough to Deadlights that if he wanted to he could pop in for a drink, but he needed to check his tire first. Derin figured he could take care of the wheel on his own, or call AAA for assistance. Getting out of his vehicle, Derin checked on his two front wheel's first having already felt the screeching of his rims against the ground. Whatever the heck he rode over must have made a large enough hole to let out all of the air in his tire within seconds. So much for all the taxes taken by the town. The least they could do was pave the fucking road.

"Fuck." He cussed, "At least it's just one tire."

Shaking his head, Derin pops open the trunk of his car, looking for his spare and a jack. If he didn't think that AAA would take a lifetime to get to him he might have waited it out, but since it was only one it felt useless to call. This shouldn't take him too long though. Fifteen minutes tops if anything. Then, he could run the car over on his donut to the mechanics tomorrow morning. As he worked pumping the jack into place, though, something or someone hit him on the side and before he knew what was happening he was on the ground.

Stab. Stab. Stab. Stabbity-stab-stab.

It went on without an end in sight. Derin wasn't dumb, he could tell what was happening, but it was all so fast. The movement of the person above them was almost admirable if he wasn't the one getting murdered. There was no other way to describe the pain other than a scolding hot ice pick being penetrated into his gut and chest repeatedly. Whenever he attempted to push himself off or shield, his arms would be stabbed, and he ended up right back where he laid. Blood gushing quickly our of his body through the wounds as well as his mouth. Derin was chocking on it so he attempted to cough it out. Eyes shut as the stabs continued. He was truly going to die. . .

If there was a heaven he hopes that's where he goes. Not to seek for salvation, he didn't really care about that, but more to be able to see all the people that he loves once more. There was no real pain that he could feel other than not having had the chance to tell each and every one of them that he loves them before he met his end. A lot of movies and television shows made you think that the last moments of your life you'll see you're life flash before your eyes. So Derin closed his eyes for the last time and waited for the flashes to begin. . . they didn't.

Feyza. There was a lot to love about his cousins, but for certain she would have to be his favorite. He could see a spark of rebellion in her and he loved it. No one could ever fuck with her and get away with it. It made him feel proud. Like he didn't have to protect her, because she'd be the first to jump whoever even tried looking in their direction sideways. He didn't have to worry about her being strong. Didn't have to worry about her other sisters either, cause he knew that despite him being gone they had her to care for them.

Belkis. She was a bit on the shyer end and made him feel extremely protective of her. He didn't often go out of his way to keep tabs on his cousins too closely, but with her it was different. He'd go buy countless flowers in her shop just to check in on her before tossing them out outside or gifting them to the first person he'd see. All he needed was to make sure that she was doing well, and that she was happy where she was.

Dilara. Despite everything she went through, Derin couldn't remember a time she wasn't graceful. Taking all the pain that life threw her way unlike anyone he knew. Derin could only imagine the emotional trauma in her head and the pain in her heart. He knew she was strong though. Wouldn't let anything shift her focus in life. It was admirable to say the least, but he still worried for her. Hoping she never got to her true breaking point.

Junho. One of the very few people he considered a good friend. Derin had learned so much from him, and used to follow him around a lot when they were younger. He's always admired his resilience and ability to do everything he set his mind to. Derin didn't see him very often, as they both had demanding jobs, but he was more than a little grateful to have had someone in his life like him. Like the older brother he never had.

Hana. It was impossible for him to say that he didn't love her. Despite the ten years that they had spent without so much as a word, he still held feelings for her. Going so far out of his way when dating other woman to ensure they were all the complete opposite of her. Having had heard of her marriage bothered him a little, despite him being the one to ruin them. Seeing and getting close with her again had really shown him that she always held a spot in her heart. Not to go out and say he was still in love with her, but he certainly still loved her enough to want to be near her as often as he could. Derin knew that he wasn't good for her, and that she didn't truly know the real him. He didn't think himself deserving of her love, either. Perhaps if things had been different, and they were different people, they would have had their chance the right way.

Christina. One of the most uncommon and exciting relationships he's ever had. She was the closest thing to a best friend that he had, and he loved her beyond what words could describe. She reminded him a lot of himself which made sense why he gravitated to her so easily. Loved every single thing about her shamelessly, and she showed the same with him. In the little time that the two had known each other, Derin had felt what real love should be like. No secrets. No judgements. No resentment or ill will. Acceptance for each other regardless of their faults. He wanted only the best for her always. He would buy this entire country and make them kneel at her feet if she asked him too. She made him feel like the world around them was meaningless when she was present.

Lunara. His little sister. Derin used to chase her invisible demons out from under her bed and out of their house when they were little. Protected her from everything regardless of whether it made sense or not. She was everything to him, and he promised her that no matter how near or far he was from her, he'd always be in her heart. If she ever felt upset or angry he'd tell her to place a hand over her heart and he'd feel it too. As they grew older it became harder to reassure her, though. Between losing the baby, and losing Monty, Derin was left not truly knowing how to console her anymore. What does he say to his little sister who wasn't so little anymore? He could offer her the world, but his lack of real life experience made him feel useless. All he could offer her, genuinely, was his ever lasting love.

L: Okay, D. Be safe please. L: I love you too.

#selfpara #I actually edited this one lol #round of applause

[derinkaplan]

Derin & Lunara Kaplan

#album

[derinkaplan]

D: Nice! D: I'll pick you up around noon?

hana: nope! took tomorrow off. hana: lunch tomorrow sounds good.

#text #hana rhee

[derinkaplan]

D: See now you're assuming D: I thought about it. I just never did anything after D: Always the smart mouth and for what? That's why they couldn't wait to get a piece of you D: I guess you'll just find out, huh?

A: you're so pretentious, haven't you heard it's the thought that counts? A: fey isn't your personal ups driver please A: that being said though... what are you sending?

#azra nadir #text

[derinkaplan]

D: See, but I knew you didn't care D: So I didn't bother D: Figured a text would do just as much D: I'll send you a little something something with Fey though, no worries

A: hey to you too stranger A: what? you're too busy for hospital visit? A: if i cared, i'd be really hurt right now, big d

#azra nadir #text

[derinkaplan]

Derin 📲 Azra

D: I heard you stuck it to that shanker D: Couldn't take you down even after they tried

#text #azra nadir

[derinkaplan]

Derin 📲 Hanabanana

D: Working tomorrow? D: Care to go to lunch with me?

#text #hana rhee

[derinkaplan]

“A sap?” he feigned shock before their lips met. “I guess so, huh?” he questioned, thinking to himself for a bit. Perhaps it was all the death that constantly surrounded them now. The endless pile of bodies that kept showing up and the lack of effort put into finding out who was behind it all. The fear of someone taking her away from him for good and him being powerless and helpless in saving his baby. “I’ll show you in kisses, what do you think?” not waiting for her to answer he grabbed her hands putting them above her head. A kiss on her forehead, her nose, lips, jaw, collarbone, chest, breast, and on and on until he reached her sweet spot. They weren’t naked, but not even the clothes could keep him from getting to her. Derin moved on top of her, kissing her lips once more. “You could sing freaking Barney’s world to me in Tigger’s voice and I would cheer you own like some bimbo cheerleader trying to get the football couch to fuck her senseless.” he chuckled, “Sappy enough for you?” 

she pressed a soft kiss against his cheek, savoring the connection between them. in that moment, surrounded by the energy of their shared enthusiasm, christina felt immense gratitude for derin—the one guy who understood her and didn't want to change anything about her. a person that knew what made her happy and was just as happy as felt when doing those things. " you're turning into a complete sap. " chris teased, a chuckle leaving her lips, before placing another kiss on his lips. her melody came to an end with a small shrug, however, having not finished the song but also not wanting to spoil the whole thing. he could listen to it properly when she invited him to a studio session. " so what's the rate? one being you need to start over completely or ten being i absolutely cant wait to hear this on the album. "

#i forgive you #convo #christina simone

[derinkaplan]

D: I'm pretty sure I haven't seen you in a good month or so at this point. And I thought I was busy! D: Deadlights sound good to you?

J: Am I really that obvious? J: Sure, sounds good

#junho rhee #text

[derinkaplan]

derinkaplan​:

Oh, she’s like real upset, Derin thought his eyebrows raised. “I did hear.” he responded, turning his body so that he was facing her. “Don’t over exhaust yourself thinking about what could have been, Adella.” he said as softly as he could to hopefully sound more comforting then it felt, “It would only ever make things worse. It’s perfectly alright to feel saddened by it all, and perhaps even a little angry at the sudden departure, but you have to do your best to understand that despite him not being here now it didn’t mean that he didn’t want to be.” It sounded like she was more saddened for what she was missing and not truly for his murder, then again everyone deals with pain differently. “Do you believe that he would have wanted you beating yourself up over his death?” He asked, dismissing her apology with a wave of his hand. This conversation reminded him a little too much of his own sister. He was glad she was anywhere but here.

Adee felt a rush of anger then, hating the way he spoke to her, hating this entire situation she was now in. “I will think about what could have been, because that’s the only thing I have left, Derin, and I really don’t fucking appreciate the fact that you’re trying to dictate how I should feel about a loss you clearly don’t know anything about,” she spat out, before letting out a mirthless laugh. “Of course he would want to be here! Why are you speaking as if he had a choice in what happened to him? Did you think he wanted to die? Did you think he wanted to leave his daughter behind? I don’t care what he would have wanted because at the end of the day, he’s not fucking here anymore, is he?!” Adee said, hands shaking as she stood up, needing to get away from this situation, from all the thoughts of Dante, from Derin, who she saw clearly wasn’t the person she should talk to. “Take care of yourself,” she curtly said before she walked away. 

END.

#maria adella hayag #convo #why so mad buttercup? #lol

[derinkaplan]

Derin 📲 Jun

D: Is that hospital keeping you hostage? D: Let's grab a drink

#text #junho rhee

[derinkaplan]

Derin: Anything for you Derin: Where do you want to go?

Fey 📲 Derbear

Fey: drop whatever you're doing Fey: we're gonna get lunch together today

#feyza kaplan #text

[derinkaplan]

Oh, she's like real upset, Derin thought his eyebrows raised. "I did hear." he responded, turning his body so that he was facing her. "Don't over exhaust yourself thinking about what could have been, Adella." he said as softly as he could to hopefully sound more comforting then it felt, "It would only ever make things worse. It's perfectly alright to feel saddened by it all, and perhaps even a little angry at the sudden departure, but you have to do your best to understand that despite him not being here now it didn't mean that he didn't want to be." It sounded like she was more saddened for what she was missing and not truly for his murder, then again everyone deals with pain differently. "Do you believe that he would have wanted you beating yourself up over his death?" He asked, dismissing her apology with a wave of his hand. This conversation reminded him a little too much of his own sister. He was glad she was anywhere but here.

Adee bit down on her lower lip before she closed her eyes, trying not to let the grief consume her. “Have you heard the latest news?” She asked, her voice soft as she remembered how much she ached that morning, how scared and lost she had felt. “I... I had a... I don’t know, a ‘thing’ with one of them,” Adee admitted. “And I was-- I feel like... I feel like a part of me latched onto him, feeling like he was one of the only sources of happiness I had left in this town, after what happened to... to Jules and Maya,” she said, blinking back her tears. “And it was... I thought it was going somewhere, you know? Or at least, it had the potential to and now, it just feels like... like I have nothing. No one. It’s... it’s such a lonely feeling,” Adee murmured before letting out a mirthless laugh. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have put all of that on you.”

#convo #maria adella hayag

[derinkaplan]

Had they been two different people, in different places and times, Derin could see himself wanting her forever in his life. Not that he didn't, but it was different from where they were now. There wasn't a moment with her where things didn't feel right, or where he wouldn't be drawn into her presence. This was one of those moments. The look of excitement on her eyes as she spoke about what made her happy, was the same as his passion for what he does. It's admiring for him to see her this way. "That sounds terrifyingly awesome." Feelings and emotions were two things, Derin sucked at expressing often, but he could see the appeal and release she'd get from doing so specially after all the controversies. "It sounds like you're having a really good time doing so. I love to see you this happy. Don't ever change that, baby." He smiled at her, taking a piece of her hand between his fingers as he listened to her voice.

" well, " she began, her voice tinged with a mix of excitement and vulnerability, "writing about my feelings and emotions has been both exciting and challenging. i don't know. . . i don't really like exposing my self emotionally to a lot of people so like pouring my heart out onto paper, exposing my innermost thoughts to the world is kinda scary." she took a deep breath, trying to steady her racing heartbeat, and continued, even know she could feel herself getting anxious about it. " but it's also incredibly freeing. it's a new way for me to express myself, to make sense of the weirdness that is me. " chris took her music seriously. it was the only thing she had to prove that she was more than her body. the brunette let out a chuckle as she looked at him. " for you, i'd do anything, " a smile spread crossed her lips as she thought of lyrics she recently wrote. looking up at the ceiling, she started to sing the chorus of a song about the time she od while on tour.

#convo #christina simone

[derinkaplan]

hanaxrhee​:

even though a part of her was already comfortable with the spot she was seated on, she didn’t mind moving closer to him. being near him, she felt safe and protected. as if no one would be able to harm her. getting up from her spot, she moved closer to him. getting herself comfortable, she looked over at him.  "She’s starting to feel better. she was able to eat some toast before going to sleep.“ sleep, something hana needed herself. with staying up with her the previous night, she didn’t fall asleep at all.   "as for the summer, she did ask a few days ago about going to california for a week or two with a friend from school. i was thinking about letting her go.” it would get jia away for a little bit. and she knew she would have fun as well.

Derin wrapped an arm around her shoulder for comfort. It seemed like with every new death she buried herself more into her head. It made sense, honestly, he still struggled dealing with Julia's death. One of his oldest friends, aside from the brunette's own brother, and now she was gone. "That's good to hear. Did you give her any of that seaweed soup you tried to murder me with back when we were younger?" he laughed, remembering how foul it had been for him. He wasn't a big fan of soups, so that could have definitely been it. "Oh?" He glanced down at her, "Is it someone you know? Do you really think you'd be able to stay away from her that long?" Being a parent must be hard, he thought. Specially with the constant fear of something happening to them while out of their care. He couldn't understand, but it was something his cousin always complained about whenever he asked to take the kids somewhere. After a while he just stopped asking.

#convo #hana rhee

[derinkaplan]

#musing #Spotify

[derinkaplan]

@simonefms

me??? possessive??? yes you're absolutely right. you're mine. now lemme hear you say it

#musing | baby #Christina Simone