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*falls behind in life* haha the lag

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Hazel Scott playing two pianos at the same damn time with ease

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your lips

to me your lips are more than just lips

they’re a goal i strive towards

something i haven’t yet experienced

despite the distance between out quivering chambers

i can still feel them

warm

soft

home

i want so badly t press my mouth against yours in a collision of two worlds

like a hurricane meeting a tsunami

destined to explode

destined to devastate

but if kissing you ended my world

i’d be okay with that

-a.j

#lips #love #poem #love peom #kissing #lip #ldr #im in love with you

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#mood

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I JUST FUCKING CHOKED

coincidence? i think not

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heart.

my heart is no longer mine.

it resides in your hands,

what you choose to do with it,

is entirely up to you.

i just hope that you keep it,

next to yours,

forever and always.

-a.j

#love #poem #poetry #heart

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Fading.

do you know what its like,

to feel a tsunami inside your head

where there’s no water?

to feel a rush of fog rolling across your thoughts.

cancelling out all feeling.

to feel the blood trickling down your leg,

but to feel no cut.

i want to know if im the only one who goes through this.

to feel absolutely everything but nothing all at once.

i can hear myself talking but i dont know what im saying.

i dont feel present in my own life.

i think im fading away.

-a.j

#depression #fading #im no one #alone #sad #lonely #suicide

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hhahahaha actual

not killing myself is a personal achievement but you cant really brag about that at dinner parties

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I used to be. (reality)

i used to be nice,

i used to have a genuine smile,

i used to actually be happy,

i used to laugh and not cry,

do you wish to know why?

why this is all in the past?

its because reality set in,

yes, reality.

that shitty thing you cant avoid,

that cruel and twisted fate,

the very thing ive come to hate.

in this world there is little hope,

no hope for the younger generation,

the people who are meant to save us all.

no hope for our elders,

the people who will shortly fall.

no hope for the future.

no hope for humanity.

what kind of world do we live in,

where worth is defined by beauty

and happiness is defined by money?

this is reality.

-a.j

#reality #depression #no hope #used to be #fading #poem #poetry

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an introduction

okay, so hello. i am anastasia and this is sounding like a support group introduction oh gosh. so ill start with why im writing this blog and its not some interesting tale of woe, its more along the lines of i posted two of my poems of facebook and everyone called me whilst they were breaking down because they thought they were so sad. and well i aim to please so i stopped posting them. hmm lets see what else, a little bit of information about me. im a 17 year old australian girl who suffers from a fair few issues including but not limited too;

-severe depression

-anxiety of all different types

-bipolar

-undiagnosed E.D

-and just a very strong hatred towards myself.

so that about sums me up besides the socially awkard part. i. cannot. talk. to. people. to. save. my. life.

i hope this blog isnt too boring or depressing.

xoxo

-a.j