comeingtotermssys

[comeingtotermssys]

a question for other systems

is integration the only form of recovery? or are there other things we can do that would be considered reovery

#were poor. free lunches at school and needing to thrift clothes because of their lowered price poor #and so ive never been to therapy #we have no insurance and therapy is expensive lmaoo #but that means that most of our info about how systems work comes from the internet #medical research papers. other peoples experiences. whatever you can think of #and we have little to no doubt that were a system. #so now were on system shit tumblr for advice. memes. and as a place to post our own shit #but now after months of hearing 'you dont have to integrate. fictives are allowed to identify with source' ect #i now keep seeing people call these anti recovery #is the recovery integration. #are we anti recovery for not wanting to integrate? #or are these just in general harmful ?? #did alter #did osdd #did community #did system #osdd #osdd 1b #osdd system

[comeingtotermssys]

i really dont understand people who say stardew valley and minecraft are "calming" games every time i have played minecraft i have been so so fucking stressed out man there are poison spiders in this abandoned mineshaft and they keep hissing at me

[comeingtotermssys]

Is it just me or does alter communication sometimes sound like animal crossing dialect. Like, I understand perfectly what they're saying, but also it just sounds like "blvlsblsbksbsmbs!"

#our communication gets more and more incoherent the closer we are to front #like if im not in front and someone in front tries to say something itll either come across as words or like an image 💀 #sometimes our conversations are more like #'*vauge memory of cat meme*' '*amused confusion*' #than actual words #its like a description of an image except sometimes you can see exactly what theyre picturing #other times we struggle to get a single word across to each other #dissociative system #osdd

[comeingtotermssys]

YESS THISS

weve known were a system for a while and are only really able to function well because we all respect each other or are able to help handle situations where others in the system dont respect us.

we cant. hate each other. its really frustrating sometimes having to play nice with someone who makes you incredibly angry, but they have to play nice too, otherwise itll effect not only the two of you but also every single other alter in the system. we have to work together or suffer the consequences.

but we usually can work together just fine, its often times outside sources that throw us off.

a lot of singlets forget that alters arent only there when theyre serving a purpose, we have to live with each other every single second of every single day, even if the person fronting doesnt hear us, were still here doing our thing on the inside

Honestly? Don't let anyone tell you that you aren't allowed to love your system.

Actually I think it's incredibly important to love your system. You're all stuck living the same life together what's the god damn point in hating each other?

Our system functions as well as it does because our host shows love and kindness to every alter, they genuinely care about every single person in this system.

Every alter in a system is important and is deserving of love and kindness.

Endos/Pro-Endos DNI

#i dont front often but when i do i like watching the 'fake disorder cringe' videos just to see what others think of our disorder and others #and god its so bad 😭 #cause the people faking it are really bad at faking it and then if theres a person reacting to it theyre usually just as bad if not worse #one of the reactor guys once said something like 'if your alter isnt needed rn tell him to fuck off' like sir 💀 #we exist outside of our system roles #it can be a pain when someone else wants to front what youre doing stuff but its not always a choice on either of our parts #if im in our headspace and either i hear something on the outside that reminds me of cookies or i think of them myself #that want might just pull me to front without me wanting it to or realizing it is #im not protecting anyone from anything in that situation. i dont *have* to be there #but boom i am #inconvenient but you cant get mad at me for it #you can get mad at the brain for it though lol #like why is my want for cookies enough to shove me out here 💀

[comeingtotermssys]

DID culture is being like "Hey I didnt do that and no other part in communication range is claiming they did that so who knows who did this and there are thick amnesia between it, but whatever they did, looking at the receipts, I stand by it and think its based"

#yeah 😭

[comeingtotermssys]

yesterday sucked. a lot. but thats okay ^^

things will get better

[comeingtotermssys]

God, I can't tell you how much the "there's not enough enrichment in my enclosure" joke has helped my mental health. Because, for some reason I can't comprehend, pretending that I'm a zoo keeper caring for an animal (which is also me) just makes everything easier to comprehend. Like "Your head gets screwey when you're apartment is messy" just doesn't carry as much resonance as "The tiger becomes agitated when its enclosure is cluttered" because then I'll be like, no shit? The tiger? I've gotta keep things nice and clean for the tiger.

#we also do this #helps me with taking care of things #im not very grounded in reality because when i am i get really unstable and sewer slideal (unhealthy i know) but things likr this help #i need more enrichment because of course i do i am like any other animal who needs things to do and variation in diet #because humand are just animals but smart and also with complex political societies ^^ #🌸

[comeingtotermssys]

speaking about systen shit in medical terms gives us anxiety, not because we don't fit the criteria or are doubting our system, but because it makes it seem so much more serious

which it is. i just like being able to forget that its horribly serious all the time, i like doing fun things with headmates

watching movies and drawing and whatnot ^^

idk this is mainly why we try to stay away from things like syscourse. makes everything so serious and terrible sounding

#our way. or my way to cope with things is to remind myself that not everything has to be in medical terms all of the time #i can live my life without needing to go 'ah yes this is because i am an ep and am protecting our anp and i am only a truama response' #idk. #we used to be in a lot of endo spaces because endos explain plurality in a way that makes sense to me #i dont mean like 'making alters' or 'not having truama' just the going off of feelings and experiences vs ridgid medical papers #because experiences tell you that the person went through that and is still okay ? #that they can still live and be happy #but medical papers are important. they are needed and they explain why whats going on is going on #endos will say you are your own person and you are your source because thats what you want to hear #not what you need to #im getting better at learning that i should listen to things based on what reality and what is better for me and my headmates #not based on what i want to hear to comfort me #because i wish we didnt have this disorder #i wish i was faking. #i wish i was endo and could just stop having alters when i didnt want them anymore #itd be better than living like this daily. our system isnt something i can ignore or stop having #and the truth is i dont want it #but i am forever stuck with it. it will never go away. integration isnt a route were willing to take. #this will never get better. we will only learn to cope #🌸 #system shit #vent

[comeingtotermssys]

It’s okay if all you did today was play games.

It’s okay if all you did today was sleep.

It’s okay if all you did today was get dressed.

It’s okay if all you did today was wake up.

We all heal in different ways, and there are days that are harder than others. That doesn’t mean you didn’t try, or that you’re lazy, or that you’re worthless.

Everything you do on a hard day is an act of bravery. Everything you do is wonderful, and I love you for it.

#we did a lot of things today #but it wasnt like that yesterday #it won't be like that tomorrow #i hate doing things and going places and i have nothing to fill up that void with productiveness #but that's okay #i dont need to be doing things right now

[comeingtotermssys]

Sometimes having DID is sitting in co con with 3 people from a part of the system you know you're not supposed to know about and you're all just sat there trying not to tell each other your names cause if you do there's gonna be a big meeting and none of you can be bothered

- Orion

#sometimes you just gotta ignore whats goin on and pretend everything is sorta normal #we all just sit in front looking at each other as if we just said 'you too' to the waiter or something #got enough on our plate and dont want more system shit messing with our unstable sense of nor #normalcy * #i dont want to have to rewrite that whole tag 💀

[comeingtotermssys]

i so often have moments where it feels like we are living as a singlet and then i switch out completely and im like 'oh hi sans undertale' and he just waves and then goes back to doing whatever

#did osdd

[comeingtotermssys]

our host didnt sleep for three days and then a dormant gatekeeper of ours became undormant just to take a nap and then dissapear again

bestie are you alive or not i miss you :(

#tw dormancy

[comeingtotermssys]

THISSS AND FOR WHAAATTT 😭😭

almost all of us sound like shit except for this one bird guy and some other dude and i am upset about it lol

One of the biggest ripoffs about having DID is that only some of us can sing well. Some of us have even been complimented for our voice, but a lot of us sound absolutely terrible.

#osdd 1b #system

[comeingtotermssys]

this disorder is so wild bc i’ll just be vibing and being like Almost Singlet and then it’s just like

“oh i don’t remember writing like this yesterday? how come this writing is so good and why can’t i write like this today?”

“that conversation i had this morning was so emotionally intelligent,,, why can’t i be that emotionally mature this afternoon????”

“wow i’m really doing this task,,, wait am i doing this task? oh it turns out i can’t control my body at the moment that’s wild”

[comeingtotermssys]

our guardian makes living so hard i was just feeling better about being alive and now im back to sobbing on the floor literally too depressed to move i could not get up if i wanted to

i was so happy like 20 mins ago, i was able to sit at my desk and waych movies and play with my cat and now i just cant

#vent #im sorfy for posting about this #i want to be better and feel better but hpw am o supposed to when the person whoes supposed to care abljt me makes me want to die #the whole thing was their fault anyways #i wish they didnt yell at me because i would have done what they wanted if they jusy asked

[comeingtotermssys]

[comeingtotermssys]

we split/form alters really easily and we have a 70/30 chance its a fictive over a brain made alter

why be a "fiCtiVe hEAvY sYsTem" when you could be "world's stupidest crossover episode that nobody asked for"

#ok geez lets do this #crossover between vtubers/homestuck/dsmp/seraph of the end/at least four diffrent fanfictions/cookie run/my hero/a tumblr artist/an oc #/2 diffrent personifications of diffrent songs/warrior cats/fnaf #the majority of us are fictives #most of the time though the fictives in our system dont like to front or have trouble doing so #weve chalked it up to a disconnection between them and the body and not being able to ground themselves #eitherway theyre still valid parts of our system :]