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It’s Safe Here, In Your Arms

Summary: Varian tries avoiding his problems by working in the lab where he's surrounded by the only thing he seems to understand. In theory it's the perfect escape. In his private laboratory, there was no one there to complicate things with his already messy thoughts. Only problem is that now there *is* someone to complicate things, and that person just so happens to be the man Varian wants to keep his emotions hidden from the most.

Or: Varian has a bad relapse of insomnia and Hugo isn't having any of it.

Rated: Teen, for swearing and for Hugo being... well, Hugo. Word Count/Chapt. Count: 4138, Oneshot Est. Reading Time: 15 mins~

Read it here on AO3 OR continue reading under the cut

Hugo stared at the ceiling of their shared bedroom silently waiting, hoping, that for once Varian would do what was best for himself. But as always, no matter how many months or years past old habits died hard, and it seemed pretty clear that Varian was absolutely no exception. It was a strange contradiction, Hugo thought, that a child of the sun kingdom would be such a night owl. But he could think about the irony of it all some other time, that time preferably being one where Varian's in his arms and safely lulled into a calm slumber.

After two nights of, 'I'll be done in a moment, feel free to go to bed without me.' , without Hugo actually ever seeing or hearing Varian enter the room, Varian's little game had become painfully obvious. In hindsight, Hugo really should've known all along. Just the fact that he hadn't stirred from his slumber either night was proof enough that Varian hadn't stepped a foot in that room. The green eyed man was simply too paranoid, too alert for Varian to have slipped under his radar. After years on the run as a thief he had to be quick on his toes, ready to flee at a moments notice. Even the tiniest sound or sign of movement was enough to make him snap awake in an instant. And there was no way in all the seven kingdoms that Varian, clumsy and hilariously uncoordinated Varian, would've ever been able to sneak past that.

Besides the logistical side of this scenario, it's not like Hugo was unaware of Varian's insomnia. Heck, this wasn't even the first time Varian had pulled such a shamelessly blatant stunt like this. Far from it in fact.

Whenever Hugo would be on watch duty there were always plenty of nights just like this one, where he'd see a lantern still lit in either Varian's tent or the tent they all shared for experiments, tinkering, or for whatever their rag-tag group needed to do. Even then he knew it was Varian coping with something, and even then it had hurt to think about. It had hit him with an underlaying concern that had felt so foreign yet so natural, as if whatever causing the painful surge in his chest just knew something that the rest of him didn't.

But now all of him knew, granted he didn't know as much as he wished he did, but he knew enough to see when he needed to step in. Ever since the start of winter, nights like these were getting worryingly frequent, but never before had he experienced Varian trying to pull three all-nighters in a row.

He could've demanded an explanation, so he could help the way Varian needed him to, but both of them had made it a point to never pry if the other wasn't ready. This wasn't because of a lack of trust in each other, but because they had a hard time opening up to anyone in general. You'd never expect that to be the case for Varian, who appeared as an open book and seemed to wear his heart on his sleeve. But for both of them however, the world had betrayed them one too many times for it to feel comfortable surrendering too much of themselves, even to the people they trusted with their lives or loved with their entire beings.

So no matter how long it took for Varian to feel ready, Hugo swore an oath to both Varian and himself that he'd never betray the man he loved more than life by pushing him back into the dark crevices' of his mind and making him feel obligated to share something he simply wasn't ready to revisit. Varian had had enough of people prying and prodding, heck, even Rapunzel was responsible of it herself. Of course, she never meant to shroud the young alchemist in intense self imposed fear or dread on purpose, but Varian needed to have his emotions handled in a specific way in order to feel safe. It was one of the many reasons Hugo thought they worked so well together. They just operated the same way when it came to these things, so they understood how to take care of each other better than anyone in either of their lives ever could.

But this also meant that Hugo knew when Varian was doing more harm to himself than good. Avoidance seemed to be Varian's main coping mechanism. Specifically avoidance via working nonstop for hours to the point that he'd forget to eat, drink, and in this case sleep. Now that Hugo thought about it, he wasn't sure if he ever saw Varian outside of his lab even once these past few days, so there was a good chance that Varian still hadn't ate or drank anything either.

That thought only made him walk faster on his way to the lab, at this point his walk was more of a light jog. When he walked in the room, he looked at the sight before him and oh sun did he regret waiting so long to drag Varian out of this mess.

Varian's hands were shaky as balls of crumpled paper surrounded him, some senselessly thrown on the floor, others in a clumsy stack resting atop the work counter he was currently slouched over. Hugo had absolutely no idea what he could've been working on, to be frank. Whether this was something requested by the princess or a personal study he was conducting merely for the sake of science itself was up for debate, but Hugo had absolutely no clue what experiment could've warranted both boric acid and a screwdriver. Random chemicals, minerals, tools, bases, solutions, and sun knows what surrounded the raven haired boy. This'll be fun to clean up.

This was a mess Hugo decided they'd be worrying about tomorrow however, as he cleared his throat to get his lover's attention. At first, Hugo didn't think Varian even registered the sound. That is until after a few seconds Varian jumped up in surprise, whipping around to look back at Hugo and nearly toppling over, having to half-hazardly support himself by clumsily gripping onto the counter.

Aside from the concerningly late reaction and stark lack of balance, Hugo could see the prominent bags under Varian's usually sparkling blue ocean eyes, which currently seemed dulled and hazy with exhaustion. The sight of his loving moon flower so utterly lifeless made his heart ache in ways that it never had before meeting the boy.

It took a few minutes for Varian to process the situation, his mind drawing a blank thanks to his energy being drained from the panic induced reaction to Hugo's sudden appearance. Once he realized who exactly was in front of him his first instinct was to walk up to Hugo and hug him, missing his warmth and longing for his arms around him, cementing him in a secure and protective hold that made Varian feel safe and loved and cherished. But he knew very well that his legs wouldn't be able to support his body if he tried to walk over, that possibility being backed up as they wobbled beneath him threatening to buckle and make him topple. He couldn't make Hugo worry about him more so than he already was.

That was a portion of the reason he was here after all, hidden away from everyone else within the castle's walls. No one needed to see him when he was like... this. When he was sad and broken, and when he felt so small and felt so defenseless to the thoughts that loomed over him the same way the moon's rays would hang from above, bathing him in a shining ghostly light.

It was strange to be feeling this way, for reasons that to him felt obvious yet were so confusing and clouded in mystery to others. However, that veil of mystery gave Varian a strange sense of security. It made it so then no one needed to worry about him when they did normal everyday things, like go out and enjoy the snow or put honey in a supposedly soothing cup of tea. Others would find these things pleasant or enjoyable but for Varian they were merely reminders of a storm and an indestructible amber that led to two years worth of irreversible trauma. Just another reason to hunch in the corner and cower at the crushing feeling of his own emotions.

Horrifyingly enough though, was the fact that Hugo knew about some of his past. He knew about the amber incident, he knew that Varian had a criminal background and got involved with some really bad people, and he was well aware of the things or words that triggered Varian's mind to spiral. The fact Hugo knew these things wasn't horrifying for the reasons one might expect. Because no, he wasn't afraid Hugo would leave him because of his past crimes, Hugo had made it pretty clear by now that Varian was stuck with him whether he liked it or not (he very much liked it). He wasn't even afraid of Hugo judging him, since he knew better than anyone that Hugo had a past that he wasn't too proud of either.

What scared him was the fact Hugo cared so damn much and Varian knew that he didn't deserve it.

Sure, there were still plenty of nasty comments people made both behind his back and right in front of his face, but it didn't feel like enough compared to all the undeserved good he's gotten. It didn't feel like he had gotten enough punishment for his crimes or the way he used to be, and it was driving him mad. Why couldn't anyone but him see just how disgusting it was that he hadn't had to suffer more for the way he made others suffer, for the way he made his dad, or Rapunzel, or his village, or the entirety of Corona suffer? Why couldn't they see that he didn't deserve anyone's forgiveness?

He didn't deserve Nuru and Yong's trust, he didn't deserve to be where he was now, and he most certainly didn't deserve Hugo. Sweet, infuriating, smartass, know-it-all, caring, loving, affectionate, absolutely perfect Hugo. He didn't deserve any of this, and yet he was showered in affection anyways.

Varian groaned inwardly when he realized he was falling back on old habits, at this point just echoing the nightmare that had started this whole debacle. As guilt seeped in, Varian attempted to speak, sleepily tripping over and drawing out his words, "Hmn... Hugh-Hugoh! Er ahm, Hugo, Hugo!". The alchemist repeated the older boy's name, finding some very much needed comfort in the familiar way it rolled off his tongue. "What brings yah.. ahm..", He lost what he was going to say right in the middle of his sentence before it vaguely resurfaced in his head, "...'ere?"

Despite the concern deeply etched in his expression, Hugo choked out a chuckle at his boyfriend's messy speech, before quickly swallowing his laughter and crossing his arms sternly. "You know exactly why I'm here, Sweetcheeks. For fucksake, I can't believe you're making me be the adult in this situation." Despite his wording, every syllable in his dialogue was heavily coated in a thick worry that anyone aside from Varian rarely ever heard from him.

That sugary coating wasn't enough to make Varian internally flinch at his words, something that Hugo wasn't able to exactly catch due to the expressiveness in Varian's eyes being dulled by his exhaustion. "Mmn, busted then, huh?", Varian could feel his body beginning to give in to exhaustion as he leaned more against the counter. "Luckily 'fer youu.. pretty boy, you don't need to be the adult.", Despite his sleep deprived state the shorter boy didn't miss Hugo's eyeroll in response to his abrupt yawn.

Hugo paused for a moment to properly digest the affectionate nickname which made him smile fondly despite his worry, "Well, cutie, it seems I do have to be the adult since you don't have enough sense to know when you need some fucking. Rest.", Hugo walked over to Varian, crouching down to gingerly pick up the boy, unable to resist the urge of planting a loving kiss on his forehead. "So yeah, you're busted."

"Nooooo..!", despite Varian's whiny tone he seemed to be very okay with these series of events as he greedily eased himself in Hugo's grasp as if he belonged there, nuzzling his face against Hugo's chest like a cat. "I can't believe this, this is... this is... you're a...!!"

Hugo chuckled at the tired rambling of the boy he proudly held in his arms, "Yes dear? I'm what?", He allowed a flirty tone to slip into his voice, his words dissolving into a suggestive purr. A smirk formed amongst his sharp features when Varian immediately gave him a response. Hugo reveled in the way Varian involuntary gulped and licked his lips in response to such a simple tease, taking pride in the beautiful hue of ruby red that graced the boys skin and the fact that only he could make Varian react this way. "Take your time, you've got plenty of it. That is until I tuck your ass in bed.", despite his pride and the growing want he had to just devour his boyfriend, Varian's health still came first and foremost.

Before speaking, the boy in question had to pull his mind together as it uselessly echoed Hugo's seductive tone. Apparently he had done a pretty bad job at pulling it together because without thinking he responded to Hugo's original question with a reedy, "Hot." What he said seemed to catch himself more off guard than it did Hugo, who let out a fond snicker at Varian's blunt comment. The blue eyed boy stuck out his lip in a pout, "This is anarchy, you're an anarchist.", Varian was too sleep deprived to realize the irony of that statement coming from someone who literally committed two years worth of treason against the kingdom he now worked for.

"Hm.. a hot anarchist? I can get behind that, seems like a pretty good 'gig.", Hugo raised his brow in amusement.

"Mmn, you fit the role pretty well, I'd say.", He weakly lifted his head to give Hugo an onslaught of kisses on his jawline, unable to reach his lips properly thanks to the way he was lazily flushed against Hugo's arms and chest.

Hugo seemed to just adore the contact, letting out a poorly suppressed noise of glee that echoed his exact thoughts; 'I am the luckiest guy in the whole damn world.'

They reached their room far quicker than either of them anticipated, with Hugo skillfully shifting Varian's weight to one arm so he could open the door with his now free hand. After stepping inside he closed the door shut and set Varian on the bed, removing the boy's goggles, vest, boots, and waiting for him to nod before taking off his gloves. Hugo always made sure to be careful when it came to Varian's sensory issues, so no matter the scenario, he waited for permission before removing that particular article of clothing. Some people would call that unnecessary but he'd nicely tell those people to shut the fuck up. Because if it's what made Varian feel safe you know damn well that Hugo was going to comply 100%. 'Necessary' or 'unnecessary' his ass.

Varian smiled up at him in fond appreciation, the shine returning to his eyes despite the exhausted haze that still loomed within the seas of blue Hugo found himself getting lost in time and time again. Hugo returned the sentiment, giving a fond smile of his own, looking at Varian as if he had just hung the moon and all the stars in the sky. And wow, how did someone so beautiful even exist?

Without thinking, the four eyed alchemist gently pressed his lips against the plush ones of his boyfriend. The faint taste of peppermint and the appreciative hum Varian let out were enough prompting for Hugo to nip at Varian's bottom lip, a silent plea that the shorter man relented to quickly. Hugo's tongue retraced the familiarity of Varian's mouth slowly, savoring it as if it were his first time, the two alchemists intertwining their fingers while Hugo's free hand cupped Varian's cheek. An olive skinned hand snaked it's way up to play with Hugo's hair, not pulling nor scratching at his scalp, but lovingly combing through it and getting lost in the beloved silkiness. The kiss wasn't desperate or needy, but it was passionate, reflecting the pure unfiltered love and admiration they shared for each other.

When it ended, their hands were still joined as Hugo rested his forehead against Varian's. He took a moment to get lost in the taste of hot chocolate and the distinct taste of Varian that now found itself on his tongue, the newfound moistness feeling heavenly on his chapped lips. Varian nuzzled his nose against Hugo's before kissing his cheek and tugging on the hand he was holding.

The blonde smiled as he complied with Varian's unspoken request, getting on the bed and laying down, Varian soon moving closer in order to snuggle up against him. Hugo wrapped a protective arm around Varian's waist, the other clumsily attempting to cover them with the now slightly messy blankets. Resting his head on Hugo's chest, the shorter alchemist slung an arm around Hugo, keeping him close and smiling contently as Hugo's warmth enveloped him.

Varian was naturally very warm, which Hugo supposed made some level of sense, thanks to being a child of the sun kingdom. During the summer Varian's natural warmth was a bitch whenever they wanted to cuddle, but during winter Hugo was able to shamelessly lose himself in the heat his boyfriend produced, nuzzling his face against Varian's hair and enjoying his scent. As always, Varian carried that distinct alchemist scent which Hugo used to think was wretched before growing to adore it as he spent his days with the man now in his arms. In addition Hugo picked up on the faint aroma of mint scented shampoo, noting to himself that this was different than the usual unscented soap Varian would use. He decided that he enjoyed the scent, burning it into his mind.

"Honey?", Varian spoke softly, as he often did whenever they had a moment of quiet to themselves. Hugo gave an attentive hum to show that the alchemist had his attention before Varian continued, "Thank you. I love you so much, and I'm sorry that you have to take care of me all the time. You're right, I shouldn't be making you have to be the adult of any situation. I should be able to take care of myself." He sounded so small, the guilt and shame in his voice making Hugo look at him in deep concern.

Hugo clicked his tongue before speaking, his tone delicate as if he were afraid Varian would shatter right there in his arms, "Sweetcheeks, Varian, you never need to apologize or thank me for something so basic. It's alright, I'm not mad. No one should ever get mad when you need help or when you need to be taken care of. You have the right to be happy and healthy, and if it's hard for you to do by yourself, then you can bet your ass that I'll be right here." Hugo planted a plethora of kisses into Varian's raven hair, relishing the scent once more. "The adult thing was a joke, Love. I shouldn't have made it then, you weren't in the kind of headspace to properly distinguish whether or not I was genuinely upset. From now on, I'll do better, but that means you also need to do better."

The younger boy looked up at Hugo who as if on cue, planted a gentle chaste kiss on Varian's lips before going in for another quick taste. Varian smiled in response to the affection before speaking, "Don't call what you're doing basic, because it's far from it. Sure you're my boyfriend, but you're your own person too. You're not responsible for my happiness, or my well being, and yet you're always so caring anyways. That's far from basic. You're one of the most compassionate people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing, Hugo.", Varian giggled happily when Hugo responded by wordlessly planting an endless amount of kisses all over his face. "And trust me, you're alright, I know you didn't mean anything by that joke. I just... I dunno. I just thought there could be some truth to it."

"No, Doll, it's absolutely not true. You give me a lot of credit, but you are very capable of taking care of yourself. Just because you have times where you aren't at your best, it doesn't mean that you're suddenly a burden." Hugo abruptly cupped Varian's face with both of his hands, pausing to plant smooch after smooch on it in between each word, "I'll repeat this again. You. Are. Not. A. Burden. And. I. Love. You."

Varian smiled against Hugo's mouth, pulling him back down by his nightshirt as Hugo tried to pull away again, earning the prize of a proper kiss. The raven haired boy slipped his tongue past Hugo's lips when the older boy gasped due to the suddenness of it all. They got lost in each other again, running their fingers through each other's hair, a hum coming from the back of Varian's throat that sent a very welcomed sensation across their lips. This time when they pulled away, Varian immediately caught Hugo again in a quick peck before doing the same thing to the rest of his face, attempting to kiss every single freckle in the dark. At this point, he had the constellation of freckles across Hugo's face lovingly engraved into his memory, so all he had to do was retrace the fond memories of Hugo's charming features to find and devour every single one. "I love you too, Hugo."

The blonde's heart stopped for a moment before absolutely melting in response to the endless affection Varian was showering him with, his touch starved side begging for more of the boy. Begging for him to be closer, begging for his lips against his own, begging for them to become one as they held each other like their most precious treasures. "Oh moon above I love you so fucking much, you have absolutely no clue." Hugo smiled in pure and utter bliss, feeling absolutely amazing about the fact he got to share his bed, his future, and hopefully in a year or so; his entire life with Varian. His Varian. The emerald eyed charmer readjusted himself so he could pepper delicate kisses across Varian's neck, messily muttering, "I love you, I love you, oh fuck I love you, I fucking love you, IloveyouIloveyou-", against the tan freckled skin.

Varian's fingers ran through blonde hair, discarding of the ponytail which was probably half undone at this point anyways, and humming at the sensation of warm breath caressing his sensitive skin. "Mmm, I love you too, more then you could ever know.", Amongst all of the shaky breaths and fond flirtatious laughter Varian suddenly let out a yawn, pulling Hugo harshly into reality.

Ah, right. Varian hasn't slept in almost 72 hours. Hugo cleared his throat, planting one last teasing kiss against the spot on Varian's neck that he knew drove him up the walls, the action earning a fluttery gasp from the boy. He gave a smug smirk as he readjusted himself so then they were in their original cuddling position. He allowed for a moment of silence to pass over them before picking at what had been nagging at him, "Back to what we were talking about though... can you maybe start to reach out? Y'know, coming to me and talking, or if you're not comfortable with that, then just rambling about, I dunno, whatever nerdy stuff you've got in that head of yours. We can drink hot cocoa together, and cuddle, and whatever you want to do that'll help you find peace. Because.. this, you hiding away and working yourself to the bone isn't okay, for either of us. So just, try to veer away from doing that, alright?"

Varian didn't need Hugo to explain to understand what he was asking, but stayed silent as Hugo did so anyways just to enjoy the sound of the blonde's voice, "I can try."

Hugo smiled softly, innocently kissing the boy's forehead, "That's all I ask."

And for the rest of the night they laid there until both of them were eventually lulled to sleep by the comforting rhythm of them just being together.

#Ari Writes #varian and the 7 kingdoms #varian and hugo #varian vat7k #hugo vat7k #hugo varian and the seven kingdoms #varigo #varigo fanfiction #varian x hugo #hugo x varian #vat7k #tts varian #tts #tangled the series

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