callstolike

[callstolike]

#it's mental illness innit

[callstolike]

Lisa Frankenstein + room details

#she's so morbid. girl same #lisa frankenstein #lisa swallows

[callstolike]

#purple hair and mini french-english dictionary

[callstolike]

#it's mental illness innit

[callstolike]

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

#the skin crawling feeling. yes #the sense that if anyone looks far enough into you they'll be disgusted so you have to be performing a version of yourself #all the time #it's so corrosive and painful #trauma #it's mental illness innit

[callstolike]

i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY

[callstolike]

Katie McGrath as MORGANA PENDRAGON MERLIN 2.11 The Witch's Quickening

#this line always destroys me #merlin #morgana pendragon

[callstolike]

You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

[callstolike]

unfortunately my thing with getting my blood sucked is NOT just about the eroticism. i also am very invested in helping. i’m a helpful guy

#i'm a vampire fucker now apparently

[callstolike]

i will never leave this house

#it's mental illness innit #trauma

[callstolike]

Lisa Swallows + Outfits

#lisa frankenstein #lisa swallows

[callstolike]

cd has a hole. record has a hole. casette has 2 holes. streaming? zero holes. i think i’ve made my point

[callstolike]

“Recently, my son said to me after seeing a ballet on television: ‘It’s beautiful, but I don’t like it.’ And I thought, Are many grown-ups capable of such a distinction? It’s beautiful, but I don’t like it. Usually, our grown-up thinking is more along the lines of: I don’t like it, so it’s not beautiful. What would it mean to separate those two impressions for art making and for art criticism?”

— “59. it’s beautiful, but I don’t like it” from 100 essays I don’t have time to write: on umbrellas and sword fights, parades and dogs, fire alarms, children, and theater, sarah ruhl 

[callstolike]

People think being self aware cancels out mental illness. That when you realise your thoughts or behaviours are irrational you just stop having/doing them

Instead what happens if you're extremely self aware and mentally ill is that you just think in a resigned kind of way "I'm being really fucking crazy right now" while being very loudly mentally ill

Sometimes you are able to tell the people around you "oh, you can ignore me rn. I'm just being extremely mentally ill rn. It will eventually pass" and then continue your erratic behaviour. But mostly it's just privately thinking: "well this is embarrassing but I can't turn it off so just gotta deal with it I guess."

It's infuriating honestly

#tbhh #it's mental illness innit

[callstolike]

In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction - Gabor Maté

#i need to read this #it's mental illness innit #trauma #addiction

[callstolike]

don’t ask me “wyd” u know i’m at home deteriorating

[callstolike]

People who think this planet was created for humans to be ours are so wild to me

#anthropocentrism