cahlia-flower

[cahlia-flower]

Some shit still hurts though.

“I think we all wish we could erase some dark times in our lives. But all of life’s experiences, bad and good, make you who you are. Erasing any of life’s experiences would be a great mistake.”

— Luis Miguel

[cahlia-flower]

“It wasn’t my day. My week. My month. My year. My life. God damn it.”

— Charles Bukowski, Pulp

[cahlia-flower]

Sometimes, before I go to sleep, I just think I want to continue sleeping until all my problems get solved. I don't like confronting problems, be in the middle of problems, be the source or the receiving end of problems, and especially solving problems.

Because I'd rather have none at all.

I hate the fact that problems and trials are the reason people evolve, because they go through tough shit and I JUST DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH ANYTHING RIGHT NOW YKNOW. I'm just so fucking tired I just...

I just. I'm not in a good place. Especially my head. I'm seeing some ideation in my mind's eye and they tend to be clear cut in the ending.

I tend to rant with words online because I can't in real life. Which. Because.

Because of simple shit that I don't want to even deal with because of the emotional upheaval this endeavor will cause me and other parties involved as well as my current state of financial stability and reliability as a fucking person.

Like. How to deal. How to adult. How to continue to keep adulting reliably.

How.

Haha. I'm being vague as fuck but man.

Even though others have it worse or if others say my problems are small as fuck, well. I'm having a hard time with it. It's not your problem. It's mine. You just have a different problem you're having trouble with that I'm not.

#beamarieluther #em rants #rant #just venting #vent #vent post

[cahlia-flower]

7 Helpful Life Questions

1. If you had all the money you need, how would you choose to spend your life?

2. What makes, and when do, you lose yourself … and then realise that you’d lost track of time?

3. What lifts your spirits on a dreary, grey day?

4. When you are old, and look back on your life, what sorts of things will matter the most?

5. What are three things that you hope to achieve?

6. What kind of person do you want to be?

7. Who’s your role model for a full, well-lived life?