I'm feeling kind off burnt out lately, my school has probably one of the shittiest schedules of events I have ever encountered. Like we're gonna have an exam, this week, this Friday and Saturday then at Sunday, instead of resting there's a family day?? Bruh my parents including me doesn't want to join but at that day is the releasing of cards so we have no choice. 😭😭
Like I have friends but I'm not THAT close to them like my best friend, if my best friend is not here with me, I have no one to talk to. I'm happy for her that she has other friends, and I'm disappointed at myself for being socially awkward. I'm not going to be surprised if Im actually gonna be alone in the future. I just have to get used to it now ig... Well I do want friends, but it's just hard to find someone who can actually understands me. When I'm at school, I'm either by myself or with my best friend since we're classmates (yay) and when I am alone, I get bored and I look around me, I get jealous, then I just sleep at my chair to pass the time, I'm so fucking lonely. I have no one to talk to. I also had an other best friend, but something happened between us, were still friends but I think it went down to acquaintance. Everytime I go home, I cry at random times cause I kept thinking about it, and it justs bottles up in me and I had to get it out. I try my best to not cry infront of my best friend because I'm scared that she's going to see me as weak.