bedroomlight

[bedroomlight]

The pond with the ducks, the tennis court, the dog park, the tree with berries and birds

#!!!

[bedroomlight]

PHYSICAL THERAPY

i. the calamity happened there's no denying the whole ugliness of it penned in my spine

ii. what's there to do when the pain follows you everywhere?

one must turn to magic maybe cry a little

iii. i was taught witching movements i learned to channel my fervor my feverish and failing clairvoyant behaviors ceased

iv. yes, i killed the clairvoyancy. my future thus became a complete mystery (perhaps not tied to misery)

v. it was covered by insurance

vi. life is still not the same

my spine still recalls the calamity

but i don't cry and i have seen another side of all this and of myself

#mine #poetry #poem

[bedroomlight]

LAGOMORPH

strong legs made for? keeping the fantasy silent

before we met someone showed me you in a picture

they said you were coming imminently

imminently like a rabbit in a field i fled

#mine #poetry #poem

[bedroomlight]

ALMOND MILK

your mild allergy came to mind this warm morning. i broke down in tears.

#mine #poetry #poem

[bedroomlight]

WHAT LIFE WAS LIKE

"a purer time" yet, like a cracked egg, unfixable

remember us skating in the streets with you holding my hand saying you could throw me off balance anytime you wanted?

one mighty jerk could end things or make something else begin

back then no one had words for this one just lived with it flashing a precarious smile

#mine #poetry #poem

[bedroomlight]

My dream came true but then I woke up from it

[bedroomlight]

MOTHER'S FOOTSTEPS

like her i can break my soul and inhabit different spaces

certain stretches of road, particular convenience stores can make you think of me

a house? definitely

and you won't drive past that tree-lined street again

my mother has taught me how to haunt before i've even died isn't it funny

going through your phone and feeling a sense of loss

you loved that coffee shop

i grew up in that house

#mine #poetry #poem

[bedroomlight]

OYSTER MUSHROOM

o faeries bouncing on spongy steps! o dryads scampering tree to dying tree donning capes of pine green and murk!

o families that stayed to weather that chemical plant disaster, the Sagittarius, the slopping government effort to declare a superfund site!

o deer!

o mutated beings and unchanged, nematodes i prey on---

come! the kingdom of fungi exerts its dominion amidst this emergency

collect my shelves into your baskets, ye people, come feed on the feeder and filterer!

and watch in awe as i cleanse this earth for a disaster comes for the disaster, we fungi fluourish the might of mycelia (and other such organs and weaponry)

the glowing child in the forest was your biggest failure but we have come to save you all! happily and hungrily and oh so quietly

#mine #poetry #poem #each poem this month gets more and more unhinged

[bedroomlight]

GLAM

Saints and witches are reborn in fire; ugly boys are killed and re-created on operating tables. That's glam!

I've betrayed my bloodline for glam. This face doesn't exist anywhere in the genetic code. It's nice to look at, but confusing if you were used to the old one. That's glam!

My plastic surgeon's office is rife with magic. In Boston I turn heads in a good way. No one asks my fiance why he didn't do better because now there is no need. Due to? Glam!

I look upon the cape with my new face thinking the old one could never see this view from this house. The dogs I might never have look so pretty in the morning light, their furs elegantly illuminated. Also glam!

#mine #poetry #poem #have i lost my mind

[bedroomlight]

ROAD SIGN

you had favorites

DUCK 🦆 X-ING

SPEED LIMIT 55

DEAD END

why do i remember these things? because i love you

you disappeared with no explanation and when this happens one feels compelled to maintain an archive

the news crews swarmed your house they asked all sorts of questions about what you were like

you played varsity football, the record shows you were quite good and this is how most people will remember you

paling in significance is your record of driving exactly or under the speed limit, stopping for ducks, getting lost on purpose to make the drive to my house longer

no one knew about us so know one knows i know this

also no one understands why, all of a sudden, i'm in no hurry to get to school, or get home they think i've gotten more patient because no one drives exactly 55 miles per hour for more than three seconds

whereas i want to stay in that speed a moment keep at it steady slow down and stop just for the ducks

#mine #poetry #poem

[bedroomlight]

"SAFE" PLACE

we'd been watching the news, a mother made headlines for doing some pretty awful things and spoke in a courtroom

she said something that changed the air in our house:

"the end of our marriage is a tragedy"

what disaster could compare to this uttered aloud, as if transcribing our thoughts?

our dogs and children slept soundly so did the neighbors and the birds in the trees

quick! tell me all you remember starting from the time you saw my jacket slung over a chair

this was something, wasn't it?

this was love and supposed to work

#mine #poetry #poem

[bedroomlight]

ADULT REVENGE

a child would burn the criminal a searing erasure

i want it all over the papers a cautionary tale

#mine #poetry #poem

[bedroomlight]

VIVISECTION

you are despicable

in another time the bodies of men like you would be donated to science

we would need an explanation do stalkers have an extra organ that compels this behavior

in another time i was on an operating table for extensive plastic surgery so i could kill the person you were following

that's how it feels being watched, scrutinized from afar it makes you want to kill

and it makes you think of another time where science is just beginning

there are doctors in a room and onlookers in a circle beyond

people are saying dig deeper find something

it's all very impersonal, the cutting up of men like you one almost forgets that life was in there ---but it was, and while alive it tended to forget, too

#mine #poetry #poem

[bedroomlight]

APRIL 2024 ECLIPSE POEMS

"what it was like"

looking outside felt like closed eyes tearily opening

☾ "solar eclipse" THE GREAT BIG SKY ITS GREAT SLOW BLINK

☾ "dog in the dimness"

i would follow, wait, follow, keep pace, slow, stop

i would do anything for you as confusing as this darkness is

you told me about this rare event that changed all the birds for a minute

i looked through your dark glasses and saw the orange sickle

what does it all mean?

oh, it's bright again!

#mine #poetry #poem

[bedroomlight]

POTHOLES

i turned to drive over the same pothole to see you again

context: you're leaving

neither of us has said anything so i write this poem to cope

sad

we keep running into each other our cars parked side by side soldier-like no one is talking about us now, they're just seeing, watching the amoeba of us slowly split

i used to have dreams about you i would write them down as if you were trying to communicate things you'd never say in person

i still dream now without all the writing i'm scared of the future i would drive over so many potholes to stitch the amoeba back together

#mine #poetry #poem

[bedroomlight]

PROFITEROLES

we ate them at midnight---remember? sweet but not too sweet, knees touching on that light mint green table we sat on. things felt right in those dark hours---the only times you'd meet

(wearing your plaid shirt, jeans, blonde hair combed neat, a churchgoing-boy look), your schedule so tight but what could we do, no reason to fight or bring this to light, we were so discreet.

#mine #poetry #my poem

[bedroomlight]

ONE YEAR AFTER THE ACCIDENT

what's it like having no friends

got up from bed no one was there

no one will eat with me no one looks at me quite the same all the conversations are stilted and end quickly what's more i've gone soft, fattened a bit, both body and mind doughy, a sourdough on the sofa, guess i gained just as i have lost

i don't judge myself for any of this though i admit i'd been gluttonous ("ART BOOKS, CHOCOLATE, AND YOUNG MEN" [1]) pre-accident maybe that's why i'm alone now a knock to the hospital set everyone else free

now i appreciate my current station the feline languorousness of it languor is a banger word i'm a languorous loaf luxuriating on a boat on a dock

nestled sweetly in silence back from the dead and eating delicious bread

---

[1] Beatrice Wood

#mine #poetry #poem