beateatnest

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Well. Pycnogonads

I have long accepted the weird fact that sea spiders's digestive systems extend into their legs, but did not know that this also applies to their gonads..

#spiders #<not actual spiders #insects #< also not actual insects haha...

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"Oh, you don't have OCD!" they say to the kid that 100% has ocd

#i am suffering #byk.vnt

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The human body is so so disgusting I want to die

#ask to tag #byk.vnt

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I love hoarding but ohhhh my god. /neg

#byk.vnt

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how get rid of bad memories :(

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Byakuya

#me for real!!! #byakuya unib #under night in birth

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i'm either sick or the mold is getting to me

#'byakuya did you eat mold' Uhh...

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Sis called it a modified bowlcut its so over

Recalling the time carmine called me gay because of my 'bowlcut'

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Recalling the time carmine called me gay because of my 'bowlcut'

#Its. not a bowlcut but ehatever.

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It'll be okay. You're safe now.

Thank you.

#anon ask #This reminds me.. I actually feel more comfortable around strix than I did with the actual tsukuyomi... #memories are... weird. #this ask means a lot to me btw.

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I don't think Byakuya actually ever had romantic feelings for his sister or for Strix. Normally I would want to put together all the little bits of evidence that I think support my alternate theory, but in this case I would find it too upsetting to list all the implications so I'll just cut to the chase. Warning for incest, sexual abuse, and Under Night's questionable sexualization of Tsukuyomi. If you're a Byakuya fan then ummm if you buy this I'm not sure if it will make things better or worse for you, so be careful please.

As strange as Byakuya's behavior is, Tsukuyomi's (as in, Byakuya's biological sister's) behavior is also framed strangely and is unsettling to watch alongside his. Like... they made a blushing sprite for her and used it many times. With her brother. Who is already being presented very clearly as someone who sometimes thinks about his relationship with Tsukuyomi in a romantic light.

She could have been painted as a contrast to Byakuya's uncomfortable feelings (the way Strix is), but the story makes zero effort to show us that Tsukuyomi has normal boundaries with Byakuya. Many of the things Byakuya and Tsukuyomi do or say wouldn't be strange at all on their own, but taken altogether they create their unsettling atmosphere.

And then there is that one poster Byakuya puts on his wall after Tsukuyomi's death. Yeah, that one. Um, one question-- where the hell did he get that picture? Off of Tsukuyomi's phone or computer, perhaps. But then who took the photo, and why? It's from a top-down view and she is clearly not holding the camera; it would be extremely difficult for her to take it herself. She's doing a sultry pose and expression. A boyfriend took it, maybe? But earlier Byakuya thought deeply for many lines about the idea of Tsukuyomi having a boyfriend and whether he would be comfortable with that or not. To his knowledge, she doesn't have one. If she had one in secret and he found out later while going through her things, wouldn't it bear a passing comment from him? But there is no such comment.

I mean, Occam's razor... I just think Byakuya took the picture, and Tsukuyomi wanted him to. She is the older one with complete emotional power over Byakuya, but she allowed and clearly wanted that to happen... that's abuse. I think she imparted many of Byakuya's unhealthy thoughts directly onto him and encouraged them. That's why he views himself as useless without her, and believes he needs to be a blank slate for her sake.

He's trying to replicate that same situation with Strix, and says romantic things to her because he thinks that's how he can get a woman to value him, especially a sister figure. Fortunately Strix never reciprocates what he says. She shuts him down all the time, and in the end values him beyond any particular thing he has to offer her. He is no longer being abused or manipulated and he can get better.

#(I hope you don't mind) #Ahahaha... yeah. (Suffering)

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I've always had some nagging thoughts in my mind that the way Tsukuyomi treated me when she was alive wasn't the most regular for an older sister. I don't think I want to remember anything else about that, though...

#I'm happy where I am now. #byak.mems #<- personal tag #I saw a post earlier that made me think 'Oh... is that how it was...?' and the more I think about it... #Thats.. how it was. I don't want to think about it anymore. I don't. #I don't want to think of her as a bad person. but. #my head hurts from thinking about it.

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I do like characters who do not exhibit any hint of sexuality in any way because they’re too busy being tormented by the narrative. like “yea I might be gay or whatever but the labyrinth is growing so I can’t worry about that shit rn”

#Yeah I might be gay or whatever but The Horrors are happening #(projecting. but whatever.)

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Hell when the one thing you're named after doesnt function correctly. so funny to me how the chelicerate's jaw doesnt work properly.

#pain constantly. my jaw. pops

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must be so fucked up to be a younger siibling like imagine being born and theres already another guy there

#LMAOO

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#unib #under night in birth #phonon #uniclr #uni2