angelic-courting-rituals

[angelic-courting-rituals]

hi ik you havent been active for a really long time but i read like all your fics and,,, they're so so good oh man!! deer prince au is. WOAH man,, so good,,, so i just wanna say i really really like your fics thank you for writing them

thank youuu ❤️ the deer prince au is my pride and joy

#i’d love to have you read the whole thing sometime but heh. #you know 🥴 #ask #anonymous

[angelic-courting-rituals]

Hi i was that anon in the previous ask and it's funny because I am in fact an english major student 🙃

(LOVE your stories btw. Thank you so much for sharing them with us!!)

;)

takes one to know one

thank you for approaching my little fics with the spirit of close reading, lol

#ask #Anonymous

[angelic-courting-rituals]

ftr, anon, that WAS a compliment

#and not a backhanded one either! #the information no one asked for

[angelic-courting-rituals]

waIT I was rereading interstitial part the fifth when i noticed the line where shinji said that he was aware that people hid things from themselves all the time. Is this a lil nod to part the first where a small part of kaworu whispers his wish quietly so the rest of him wouldn't hear?? Or am I overthinking this???

you would make a very good english major, anon!

#i’ll let you figure out what that means #(​altho if you really wanna know you can just ask idc lol) #didn’t know anyone was still looking at this blog wow #ask #anonymous

[angelic-courting-rituals]

REINDEER prince au............

me after drinking one (1) hot buttered rum: what if christmas au where the angels are santa’s reindeer

#heh

[angelic-courting-rituals]

me after drinking one (1) hot buttered rum: what if christmas au where the angels are santa’s reindeer

#kaworu is rudolph #shinji is olive the other reindeer #i don’t remember what happened in that book lol #nge #happy gay space christmas #space jesus bless us every one

[angelic-courting-rituals]

feeling emo in this chili’s tonight 

c’mon guys what’s it gonna take i’m not getting any younger my fanfic writing years are almost behind me

am i ever gonna get to be a part of a zine that doesn’t go under 

#the information no one asked for

[angelic-courting-rituals]

am i ever gonna get to be a part of a zine that doesn’t go under 

#i knew it i KNEW there was no point in finishing this story #*sigh* welp goodbye shinji-as-st-george it was nice knowing you

[angelic-courting-rituals]

Thank you! I will not [update the ponyo au]!

#if you’re going to nag me about anything you can at least nag me abt the au i like!

[angelic-courting-rituals]

happy second impact day

thank

#ask #Anonymous

[angelic-courting-rituals]

no but WHAT IF

what if I’ve been thinking of this theseus au the wrong way WHAT IF the reason I couldn’t figure out who the minotaur would be is that shinji in the eva is actually the minotaur

what if kaworu theseus is basically what I’m saying

#we’re moving into galaxy brain territory here folks #the information no one asked for

[angelic-courting-rituals]

and I mean the theseus-themed au would be Especially on brand cause the one who designed the labyrinth was daedalus after all just sayin

#the information no one asked for

[angelic-courting-rituals]

FUCK

leliel as the labyrinth and shinji as theseus

*slams hands on table* 

i have something to say!!!!!!!!

#idk who would be the minotaur tho #these ideas may or may not be related to a... current project #the information no one asked for

[angelic-courting-rituals]

SHINJI KILLING THE ANGELS RETOOLED AS THE LABORS OF HERCULES

*slams hands on table* 

i have something to say!!!!!!!!

#i'm not gonna write it cause that is Too Much Work #but consider........ #the information no one asked for #i'm always a slut for classicism

[angelic-courting-rituals]

*slams hands on table* 

i have something to say!!!!!!!!

#the information no one asked for

[angelic-courting-rituals]

faLSE! Because I was one of the anons who expressed my love for interstitial and I KNOW I didn't send multiple asks because I have a fear of being bothersome. You're just gonna have to accept that a LOT of people out there LOVE YOUR WRITING BECAUSE YOU'RE AN AMAZING WRITER! SO THERE! (thank you for the update it healed my soul and also ily)

thanks for sticking around, glad i could be of service 

#ask #Anonymous

[angelic-courting-rituals]

interstitial (part the fifth)

Story subtitle: “Don’t they know it’s the end of the world (if you don’t love me anymore)”. Continued from part the fourth. An AU where this time, it’s Shinji’s turn to wait. (part the first here)

Shinji could tell that Misato feared he was slipping back into old habits when she found him in the same place he’d been ten minutes ago, still running his hands over his drying laundry. Her expression was the same one she’d worn as she watched him obsess over recreating his first duet with Kaworu one key at a time. Shinji had to admit there was logic to her concern; the two behaviors did share a rather prominent cause, but how to explain that they were merely two lookalike symptoms of their own discrete ailments? During those silent hours at the keyboard, his body had been living in the past, trying to pull his mind away from the present via muscle memory. His current tactile fixations, on the other hand, were a product of his body moving on without giving his mind a chance to catch up. He hadn’t the energy to even begin to explain this, so instead he just calmly met Misato’s gaze and said, “Did we get a new laundry detergent or something?”

Misato blinked as if to recalibrate after his unexpected question. “What? Um… no, we haven’t.” Shinji, of course, already knew the answer, because he was the one who took care of buying supplies like the laundry detergent in the first place.

“I was just wondering,” he said, running his fingers along the seam of a uniform shirt. “Something feels different and I can’t figure out what.”

“Oh.” Misato’s own fingers scraped down the edge of the door jamb in subconscious imitation. Shinji couldn’t help but notice, and he felt guilty for monopolizing her concentration like this.

“Well…” she said, “let me know if you figure it out.”

“Will do.”

Shinji had heard that grief had the power to transmute, wine turned back to water, the Dead Sea apple turned to ash on the tongue. The other morning he’d chewed on his usual breakfast cereal at a practically cow-like rate, trying to determine what had changed about the taste. It wasn’t as dramatic as an apple turning to ash, but he thought the principle was probably the same, and the idea had actually made him start laughing right there at the breakfast table. After some more thought, though, it occurred to Shinji that he had come into contact with ashes, the letters he’d cremated and with whose remains he’d dirtied his fingers as he’d wiped them from the sink. What smoke those letters produced had been subtle, but it seemed to have clung nonetheless to everything Shinji owned: his clothes, his hair, his very insides. Now food tasted different, sounds vacillated between being muted and being abrasive, and there was a faint chlorine smell that wafted in and out of his consciousness.

When it first occurred to Shinji that this might indeed be his body grieving, then he had to confront the idea that Kaworu had, in some sense, died to him in this timeline, and he wasn’t sure what to make of that. As far as he knew, he hadn’t decided that Kaworu was dead to him (though he was aware that people hid things from themselves all the time). He still found himself writing little notes to Kaworu in the margins of his notebook during class, and he’d be several lines deep before he remembered that he wasn’t supposed to be doing that anymore.

What could I have done to stop you from catching their eye? one of these notes read. He hadn’t had a specific “they” in mind at the time he wrote it. “They” only stood for any of the myriad forces who had pried Kaworu’s fingers from his over the years. Then, below this line, another: What could I have done to stop you from catching mine? The answer, obviously, was nothing, short of being unable to see Kaworu at all. “If thine eye offend thee,” and all that. Yet Shinji knew that even if he had been blind, he still would have fallen for Kaworu by the sound of his voice alone; he could have identified it merely by looking at the waveforms of sound it created, he was sure of it. His hands could have recognized even the pattern of Kaworu’s fingerprints after lifetimes of familiarization. Even now, if he closed his eyes, he could almost summon the shapes of their arches, which made him think of the arches of Kaworu’s brows, which made him think of the crescents Kaworu’s eyes made when he smiled.

“Say you were made for me too,” Kaworu had entreated once upon a time, and his eyes had crescented when he said it, because he already knew what Shinji’s response was going to be.

Kaworu, Shinji thought now, I think I was born to meet you, not the other way around, because without you to love, I don’t even know what to do with myself.

Between faith, hope, and love, supposedly the greatest was love, but what was he to do now that love was taken from him?

He imagined Kaworu waking up one morning, humanity all used up after running on empty for so long, and finding that he couldn’t love anymore; his heart had just given out and relapsed back into its original core. Then maybe he’d finally decided to fulfill his purpose and go back to Adam, up in heaven where he belonged. But, Shinji believed, because he had to, that kind of love that existed between them couldn’t just go away; it had to go somewhere. Perhaps love hadn’t been taken from him after all; it was just Shinji’s turn to carry it for the both of them this time. Maybe this whole ordeal was some kind of odd gift that he as a Lilin wasn’t enlightened enough to understand. These kinds of machinations were, after all, supposed to work in mysterious ways.

After love, what was the next best thing? Faith, Shinji guessed. Maybe he ought to start devoting his time to that. In all their past lives, Kaworu had been there to give Shinji his hand and guide him through the wasteland. Now, it was looking more and more like Shinji’s trial this time was to wander through purgatory alone with nothing but his faith to sustain his love, and this constant ache was only the slow burn of his sins being purified. What was my sin, anyway? he asked Kaworu’s spirit, wherever it was. Not trying hard enough for you? Not being grateful enough for our time together?

It doesn’t matter, he found himself writing in the corner of his notebook. I’m coming to you. Let’s meet again in the next life.

#kawoshin #fanfic #procrastination celebration #serial fic #*in the voice of michelle branch* are you happy now?