alphamalereviewsfanfics

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Is there any chance that someone knows the author of the fan fiction “White Flame” or like any information about it? It’s a fanfiction of Vladimir Nobokov’s Pale Fire, a book that I haven’t finished yet BUT I was perusing ao3 late one night and checked the Pale Fire tag to find that this is the only fic there and I was too tired to understand any of it like at all. It has six kudos, three being anonymous, one being by a blank account called S1939293 and the final two being by accounts Rueroyale and stitchy. And those two seem to be normal so I’m just chalking them up as Pale Fire fans I guess???? also oops I accidentally kudosed it so now I’m a like on it too. Anyways the point is that I need to finish Pale Fire before I fully digest White Flame but I’ve skimmed it and I am just confused about all of it. So the comments are like arguments between the “author” Orlando Conway and like this dude Shwaygo (Waco Texas ???) and I am just so intrigued by this it was all made and completed in one day the account is orphaned I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THE MEANING BEHIND THIS STORY IS!!! WHY ARE THE TAGS RACIST???!?? Anyways the tags say that there’s one Mexican and he’s my favorite character and also it says spoilers kinda for the book so once I finish Pale Fire I will read this properly but if anyone knows who the author is I need to know

thank you Alpha Nation !!!!!

#not a review #fanfiction #help #please help me #vladimir nabokov #nabokov #pale fire #Charles kinbote #King Charles ii #Orlando conway #Waco texas #Nabokov fanfiction #Lolita #I NEED HELP #Also maybe great gatsby fanfiction review coming soon #zembla #also like so far for all those who care I adore kinbote he’s so fucking funny #pale fire is great everyone should read #classic lit #? #I think Nabokov counts as that #it doesn’t matter #I’m desperate #everyone please help me find this #search #lost media #it’s not but I’m desperate #white flame

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A note for my last review my little alphas is that like I might’ve tagged the ship name for medic and soldier wrong because like half of the shit in that tag is people complaining about the name and the other half is actual fruit scones but I have no fuckin clue anymore man is jt like rabies vaccine or maggot medicine I don’t know man there’s like 400 different proposed names but people are still doing the fruit scones and I’m so confused man but whatever I don’t want to put this on my main blog but the thoughts need to be expelled and my tf2 friend doesn’t respect fanfic culture and I have to respect him for that but I can’t bring this up to him because he wouldn’t get it mannnn. The ship though is pretty silly and maybe I’ll review more fanfics about them if I feel the motivation woohoo tf2 I watched emesis blue for the first time and did a big review on my Letterboxd on it I’m proud of myself I need to get rid of all these tf2 thoughts NOW or I’ll die because it’s very hard to be productive when all I want to do is read the comics and play the game and draw the mercs and listen to the soundtrack and (yeah you get the point). I don’t get why I’m so into it right now because like back in the day I hated tf2 with a burning passion but moral of the story my alphas is that people change their views and you need to be able to accept that.

#not a review #sorry alphas

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Mini Review #4: Soldier Gets His Boo-Boos Kissed Better By The Tooth Fairy by presidentbungus

FANDOM: Team Fortress 2

SHIP: Medic + Soldier (but could be read as platonic or romantic)

RATING: General Audiences

SUMMARY: medic pretends to be annoyed.

REVIEW + NOTES: I am sick as shit and all I want to do is play TF2 but I should be doing other shit and going to my pc to play the game is hell because I’m constantly having to pause to blow my nose or cough or chug a gallon of water or piss and it’s not efficient. I just played a class wars match with my friend and called it a day. So then I was like Aw shit the last time I was sick I read a shit ton of stobotnik fan fiction like I read almost every single piece on ao3 so why not read some TF2 fics to quell the urge to play it. So yeah. I don’t personally have any big opinions on ships because I haven’t gotten too far in the comics BUT I adore soldier he is my favorite but I suck at playing him and I main heavy so the only way I can pay tribute to him is to draw him nonstop and read about him falling in love I guess. There’s like no soldier centered fics out there though bro I’m grasping at straws IT IS LIKE ALL MEDIC COME ON!!!! I love medic but soldier is so silly and awesome and relatable. Anyways this one is only 600 words it’s very short and sweet and I fucking love it SOLIDER IS SO FUCKING SILLY IM GOING TO EXPLODE JUST READ IT READ IT I LOVE SOLDIER JESUS CHRIST I NEED TO PISS SO FUCKING BAD BUT IT HURTS TO BREAFHE I JSUT WANT TO PLAY TF2 MANNNN anyways I love this fic soldier is silly medic is silly I adore presidentbungus now?????? The writing just has so much flavor I feel like I’m eating like the worlds most delicious Turkey burger I fucking love Turkey burgers literally my only complaint is that this isn’t longer!!!!! I need to read this dude’s other works they’re a fucking visionary

FAVORITE LINE(S): “How many bites?” “Um,” Soldier says. “Four! Nine. Wait. Six hundred. No, f—“

RATING: 7 out of 8 tissue boxes I have used this week

(ALPHA MALE RATING!!!!)

#alpha review #fanfic review #tf2 fanfiction #team fortress 2 fanfiction #tf2 soldier #tf2 medic #medicsoldier #fruit scones #I think that’s their ship name I don’t remember though #I love soldier

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CAN YOU TASTE MY LUST? CAN YOU FEEL MY SIN? By Heartofhubris

SUMMARY: “But, the issue had arisen during your nights when he filtered into your dreams. Nights of imagining him taking you in the pews,laying you out on the dark woodtostrip you bare to his whims.
When you focused back into the Father, you felt your blush travel up to your ears. The thoughts would only offer more confessions, and you didn’t want to add in more sins you had to confess.
“We are all sinners,” Father Ford said.

Enjoy the sacrilege, you damn heathen

Priest Ford AU where he's aware of what he can do and he does it.”

PREGAME: Happy Easter my fellow alphas!!!!! My partner requested this one and I thought it would be silly if I was a bit sacreligious on this holiday because I kinda hate it 😎😎😎 not because of like the religious shit itself but like because the rabbit shit doesn’t compute in my brain and also because of how my family celebrates good ole Easter but what can you do. I’m not catholic, but I was raised pretty non-denominational Christian and I haven’t been to church since I was 10 so like I know nothing about this shit. I’ll take most of my knowledge from watching midnight mass so like if it’s insanely inaccurate to how this catholic shit goes then that’s not on me that’s on the author, who describes themself as “catholicphobic.” Also I only read this twice instead of my usual five times before reviewing so sorry if the review sucks ass that’s just the alpha way though.

REVIEW: When I was younger I desperately wanted to learn latin. I watched this Wes Anderson movie called Rushmore (it was an earlier one so it wasn’t filled with the crazy aesthetics he has now) and I was in love with the idea of taking Latin and going to a Latin club and reviving an almost dead language. It drove me mad and I would try to teach myself Latin with google translate (because duolingo and sites like that weren’t really a thing) and I learned all about the etymology of words in the English language and I was obsessed with it and I would tell everyone what the root of certain words was and it annoyed the shit out of people (especially my sister). Anyways the point of all this is that Latin is not sexy. And it never will be sexy to me. And I don’t know why I was so fucking hung up on the mention of latin because like there aren’t even any latin words in this fic!!!!! It just mentions it!!!! So moral of the story don’t be me. This is pretty well written though bro. The author succeeds with constructing a kinda like repentance vibe in the first few sentences. Like it feels like there’s nothing else to be written besides priest porn. Like that’s the end goal. Even if there wasn’t priest porn in it I would get the vibes of priest porn like just read the first few sentences l think Aw man this’ll either be some good religious horror novel or some killer priest porn. And I respect the hell out of that bro like it got the tone down bro. And like the porn itself is pretty well written like man I’m bewildered that the tone just fit so well bro like I don’t get it I’m baffled bro this is insane!!!!!! Like the porn was so well written bro it has tone and emotion to it you don’t get usually bro trust me. Anyways my partner said they were really into this fic and I gotta support them on that it was well written even if I find the father thing kinda silly but like I don’t know I’ve never tried it. Also priests are silly and I couldn’t see Ford into religion like characterization wise buuut I’m putting the mischaracterization aside because it’s just made for people who want to get off to priest ford pines and I gotta respect that. So if you’re into ford pines and you’re into priest shit this fine Easter Sunday then do some sacrilegious shit and read this fic

RATING: 6/8 fingers (BETA MALE STATUS)

Happy Easter and Ramadan and Passover and death anniversary of Margaret Thatcher my alphas 😎😎💪💪🔥🔥🔥

#alpha review #fanfic review #gravity falls fanfiction #Stanford pines x reader #ford pines x reader #I love my partner and their taste is impeccable

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Mini Review #3: Protocol by a deleted account ):

FANDOM: Club Penguin

SHIP: Gary the Gadget Guy + Reader

RATING: E

SUMMARY: “Reader is an high-ranking agent for the EPF. They also have a big fat crush on their boss, Gary the Gadget Guy. You know what happens.

Dont read this you will regret it im serious”

REVIEW + NOTES: initially I was going to do a big review on this but I didn’t have too many things to say about it. My partner was recently on a club penguin bender and we played it together a bit ago and I was inspired to read this because they’re on a trip right now and I miss them. They said that Gary the gadget guy reminded them of me so I took this in stride. It’s not terribly written, but I couldn’t imagine penguins doing this shit so I tried to just think that they’re human dudes but then it would talk about specific penguin anatomy and that ruined my vibe. But like it wasn’t terribly written and I’m used to the weird bird anatomy descriptions because of OK KO fanfiction that I have yet to make a review for. Also fair warning it says that it has gender neutral pronouns (which it does) but it like kinda insinuates female genitalia but doesn’t outright say it and I don’t know if it’s just talking about penguin genitalia because I know nothing about penguin biology. But like it isn’t too badly written it’s just weird but I had to finish the fic for like principal or something and I did so yay. Grammar wise it isn’t too bad but sometimes the sentences are clunky and the vibe gets thrown off. Also the part where the reader spaced out while Gary rambled about his gadgets is so unrealistic I space out a shit ton but I don’t when my partner goes on epic sexy rambles explaining shit I love it when they do that!!! real alphas listen intently!!!!!

FAVORITE LINE: with every thrust, you manage to moan out. "Fuck.. Gary.." (Gary is an objectively unmoanable name. It’s not hot to be named Gary at all.)

RATING: 3 out of 8 boxes to move

Gamma male ranking

#alpha review #fanfic review #I don’t know whether I should tag club penguin or not #club penguin fanfiction #Gary the gadget guy x reader #Gary the Gadget guy is an alpha male #also like on tumblr apparently Gary x the polar bear dude is popular??? I forgot his name I’m not a big club penguin fan #my epic partner knows all about it though I can’t wait to listen to them explain club penguin lore to me when they’re back from their trip

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Mini Review #2: Lyrics Written on Your Hands by rejoice_in_silver_light

FANDOM: Infinity Train

SHIP: Min-Gi + Ryan

RATING: T

SUMMARY: "Ryan collects so many scars growing up. Min envies them.”

REVIEW + NOTES: Despite being a soulmate au, I loved this one. Like I usually dislike soulmate aus but this one avoided all of my pet peeves and made the soulmate identifier work perfectly in the story and added some fun world building to it too in a very natural way. I love the writing of the friendship between Min and Ryan and the characterization went pretty hard as well. I thoroughly enjoyed it and it was beautifully written from Min's perspective. It also didn't make homophobia a big aspect which was wonderful because whenever writers put homophobia in soulmate aus I always wonder how can same sex couples be labeled as unnatural when the mystical universe thing is making them exist. This one made an actual realistic conflict related to the soulmate identifiers that works perfectly for the characters without being internalized homophobia, something that is a very common conflict in Infinity Train fics (which I don't hate, but with the context of a soulmate au it's nice to see a change).l I need to review more rymin fics because I read a bunch in 2021 and I need to get back into it because most are pretty well written! Also there was this one where Ryan came into a sock filled with eggs and it was like this college modern au that was fucking insane and I think it got deleted but I don’t know so if I find it again I’ll do a big review of it for sure because I read it while doing the laundry and listening to the B-52’s and it got like melded into my mind for eternity

FAVORITE LINE: "He'd recognize that handwriting at any age, the terrible chicken scratch that wrote out the lyrics to the set list he was going to perform at their later gig."

RATING: 6.5 out of 8 cupcake crumbs on shitty motel beds

Beta male ranking but like high beta

#alpha review #fanfic review #infinity train #rymin #infinity train rymin #Ryan Akagi x Min-Gi Park #Min-Gi Park x Ryan Akagi

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Mini Review #1: LateNights by EBradsbury338

FANDOM: Outsourced (2010)

SHIP: Todd + Manmeet

RATING: M

SUMMARY: “There was an adorable sexual tension that had developed through pranks and friendship, and late at night Todd and Manmeet have their moments.

Their...steamy...moments. Todd begs and Manmeet, well, he just gives him what he asks for.”

REVIEW + NOTES: initially I was looking through the alphabetical fandom list on A03 for something else and found Outsourced, and I remembered watching the 2006 film in a human geography class and I also remembered noticing that Asha was too good for Todd. Apparently there was a 2010 sitcom remake??? That's pretty cool. Overall this fic was chill and had some interesting language but was short. If you like Outsourced or you hated that Todd got with Asha because she was literally too good for him in every way she didn't deserve this stupid ass cardboard dude, then read this I guess?? The Wikipedia article for Outsourced describes Manmeet as, "girl-crazy" so l'm not sure if it's in character but like why would I care bro. The fic feels kinda intimate though, it's sweet. You definitely can feel the whole tension radiating off the writing which is a positive. If I get the motivation l'lI watch the Outsourced show even though I didn't really like the movie.

FAVORITE LINE: "…pressing them together at angle that was far too pleasing to be legal in India." (What the fuck does that mean)

RATING: 2 out of 8 DVD copies of Outsourced (2006)

Probably like closer to omega male than gamma male ranking

#alpha review #fanfic review #outsourced (2010) #outsourced series #is there even an outsourced fandom #outsourced (2006) #outsourced NBC #Todd x Manmeet

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I think I’m just gonna post a bunch of mini reviews until I get the stamina to read something longer than two chapters

#not a review #alpha male

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HANDS UP AGAINST THE WALL WHERE I CAN SEE THEM by deleted user ):

SUMMARY: “literally the gayest cops you can imagine have sex against the wall of amenity number nine”

PREGAME: my partner played officer barrel in a production of urinetown and I saw the closing show yesterday and they are the best barrel of all time!!!!! better than everyone else!!!!! fuck all of you my partner just brings some nice gravitas to the character your stupid ass could never understand!!!!!! i want them to take me to urinetown!!! And so a few days before the show they sent me this fic and told me to read it and of course I would! I read it twice before the show and then twice after so I could gauge how the fanfic was to someone who hadn’t known the characters in full detail and then read it so I could compare the vibe of it to the performance I saw. I am a reviewer who only wants the best for his audience baby and I always deliver except when my friend sends me like a 12 part 500k word story about the amphibia characters disemboweling people I don’t think I can get through that series for him but maybe I will one day who knows. But anyways I was awoken in the middle of the night and that caused me to get inspired to reread the fanfic and write this review so enjoy my fellow alphas

REVIEW: When I opened this shit up and read the tags, I was slapped across the face with a SECOND PERSON POINT OF VIEW. Who the fuck write a fanfiction about two characters in SECOND PERSON??? I am here to read officer barrel get fucked by officer lockstock, “You” doesn’t even fucking exist in this world it takes me out of the immersion baby like what the fuck???? BUT!!! That was just my first impression because oh baby what if I told YOU that this was second person POV being used EFFECTIVELY?? Like what the fuck I didn’t expect it to be actually pretty solidly written so I kinda respected the second person POV as a quirk of the writer and let go of it and the immersion was never really lost it was weird. I’ve read only one other fanfic that did that correctly and that was because it was this one that was in the style of the disco Elysium game and so it enhanced the reading experience very well, I need to review it one day. But the point is that this is like kinda good. Before reading it, my partner and I looked through the comments and we noticed three things: 1) basically everyone reading it was in a production of urinetown and one person who commented actually had lockstock and barrel kiss which was cool I guess AND 2) people who weren’t a big fan of second person POV were into it, AND 3) an account called JDFangirl3.14 commented, “I’m doing this play right now, and we all love how beautifully and grammatically correct this is written! 👨❤️👨”. This comment may seem innocuous and normal but I was shitting my pants when I read that it said that it was grammatically correct. I am the type of guy who can’t really get off to reading fanfic shit, and like especially if there’s a grammatical error it just takes me out of the immersion. But once I read the fic I realized that this dude was almost right. Basic grammar laws were abided most of the time but there was one typo with wall being wal and one mistake where the author didn’t put a space in between two words. But that was easily passed over because man I was already engrossed in this body of work which alluded me because I had to reread it three times to realize that those were there but maybe I’m stupid.

This author (I wish they had not deleted their account so I could thank them) somehow blended in together some elements of shit I didn’t like (second person pov, italics for internal and external dialogue, cops) and somehow brought it together into something pretty solid and immersive to me. And like character wise it’s kinda in character like maybe the production I watched played it different than theirs because I couldn’t really imagine officer lockstock being too intimidating and I had to like separate the characters appearances and voices in my head from the actors in the production because it would be weird and kinda cuck-y to imagine your partner and the dude that played lockstock getting at it at amenity number nine so take my interpretation of the characters with a grain of salt. Like the dialogue isn’t the best sometimes and it feels like I’ve read a few fanfics that have said the same shit before but I don’t know maybe I’m riding a high on something that’s not making me as critical as I usually am. Yeah so if you like a nice combination of second person pov and you wish you could watch urinetown cops fuck on stage then hey this fanfic is for you.

BEST LINE: I’m too tired to find a line sorry I’m just gonna post this and then go back to sleep

RATING: 3.7/8 bunnies (gamma status I think??)

#alpha review #fanfic review #urinetown #urinetown fanfic #urinetown fanfiction #officer lockstock x officer barrel #my partner played the best officer barrel ever #I love my partner they killed it on stage #they’re the best barrel ever dude you’ll never compete #the formatting was weird because the app was acting weird #anyways I’m tired goodnight love you mwah mwah

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A FOX, A WOLF, AND A SHEEP ALL WALK INTO THE FORT by Adira_Tyree

SUMMARY: “Soul-mates. Arcade has long since given up on the concept that his is out there, if only because every day he’s noticed his timer slow or even stall as the war progresses – as if even Fate isn’t sure anymore if it’s going to work out for him. But his day has finally come, and it’s not exactly what he’d hoped it to be. No fireworks, no fanfare. Just a mess of shouts and confusion. Emotions run hot, and cold, as he struggles to decide for himself what his fate really is, and whether or not he wants to follow it.”

PREGAME: I originally read this fic during Christmastime. I was visiting family, and as a bored alpha male does, I became briefly obsessed with Arcade Gannon and found this fic to read about him and Vulpes. I never really liked soulmate aus nor did I like the pairing of Arcade and Vulpes, but fic kinda changed my perspective on both. So now I reread it and prepped it up for a nice and epic review from yours truly.

REVIEW: This one doesn’t feel like I’m reading a fanfiction, it feels like a weird novella that you find at a library. It’s more of a semi-analysis of the characters and how they interact in the world than a romance, with the two characters barely being explicitly romantic with eachother, but the chemistry is still there, and you just see through Arcade’s eyes pretty well. The use of the soulmate au felt natural in the setting somehow, making me forget about it and it just blended in with the story. Arcade’s attachment to the clock was also just very in character. The characterization of Vulpes took me off guard for a bit, but Arcade was great, (probably because it was from his point of view). You could hear his whole internal monologue and be like yeah that’s something I’d see him say in the game, that self deprecating asshole. It was also very enthralling, many fanfics that focus on the action and story more than the relationship tend to lose the reader a couple chapters in, but this one had a good balance because it was so driven by Arcade and his whole internal debate with himself about Vulpes as well as just his whole identity and how he fit in the Mojave in a way that made me very interested. As well as like the whole thing with Vulpes justifying the work of the Legion, and how Arcade processed all that was sublime. I love the Legion because the lengths they go through to justify their actions, whether that be direct bigotry or pseudo-intellectual rationalizations, so seeing how this author tackled them was pretty fun. Honestly I wish Arcade and Vulpes would’ve had more debates, because I loved how the author wrote their exchanges. I’ll have to read the sequel when I find the motivation to. Overall, I enjoyed this one. It’s 25 chapters of well written shit that made me feel invested, though it took me a while to get through the last few, but that was because I didn’t want to finish it.

BEST LINE: Arcade huffed out a tiny laugh. “I don’t know that I’m much of a Follower anymore,” he said, his voice weak. “I’m sorry. I don’t have good people skills. Like to argue too much,” he muttered. “I guess I never got out of the habit of arguing about pre-war political structures and carried it over to post-war ones.”

RATING: 6/8 conversations in Latin (beta male ranking)

#alpha review #fanfic review #fallout new Vegas fanfiction #new Vegas fanfiction #fnv fanfiction #fnv #arcade x Vulpes

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KEEP IN TOUCH by FooT (chapters 1-3)

SUMMARY: “Agent Stone has taken it upon himself to keep watch for the missing Doctor Robotnik. Meanwhile, on the Mushroom Planet, the Doctor stumbles on a most novel way to contact his former assistant to coordinate his return to Earth.”

[NOTE: Still going through my drafts and I found this gem from early December. I still agree with everything I’ve said and I suggest listening to The Pleasure Principle by Gary Numan while reading the fanfic if you ever get the chance.]

PREGAME: I read this fanfic during a time where I was so sick that it was hard to get out of bed so all I could do was lay in bed in the dark and binge-read fanfics. So I have many reviews to write, but so little motivation since as an alpha I have better things to do, like play fallout and think about my partner, (very important things). This fanfic wasn’t a very promising one from the naked eye, especially since it was an unfinished fanfic that was last updated in august of 2020. But at the time i first read it, I was desperate. I had seen it around before, but seeing the tags “butt plug” and “teleportation” right next to eachother didn’t feel right to me. But alas, the tags, “Dubious Science,” “Morse Code,” and “Anal Play” piqued my interest, once I had nothing else to read so I got through it.

REVIEW: Upon first glance, you wouldn’t think that this is the best fanfic you’ve read in your life, but it might be the case this time. This fanfic plays into the absurdity of the concept to a T, and it’s beautiful. The author has this skill of being able to beautifully describe the struggle that Stone goes through emotionally, while also making sure the comedic bits don’t alienate the audience or seem too much like a random change in tone. This has to be one of my favorite things I’ve ever read man. Like I don’t know what I’ve been doing with my life until I read this. Before this I was just a regular man reading regular fanfictions by regular people who like piss and tildes. But now, I am a man who has read a fanfic by a person who has written more fanfictions about PRO WRESTLING than the amount of years I’ve known how to read. It bewilders me. My life will never be the same. The egg shaped vibrating buttplug has changed me. The characterization of Agent Stone and Eggman is just beautiful. His process of elimination to find out that Robotnik is communicating with him via vibrating butt plug in Morse code is fucking insane but you’re with him on the ride and you know what the answer is but you want the explanation, the buildup, AND YOU GET ALL OF THAT AND MORE??? Making Stone a loser nerd who got the fucking Morse code badge in Boy Scouts is genius because the man is literally the type and he has less than 20 minutes of screen time. This makes me understand him more than I ever had. It’s like that one ofmd fanfic about izzy hands being into petplay but also made me want to analyze the character and write an essay on the depth of the character. It’s that but like more because it’s better written. This is beautiful. It should be in the Louvre bro trust me. Seeing Stone recognize a distress signal from the vibrations in his ass is a sight to see trust me bro. Also this author dude is working in healthcare and I respect them more than anything hopefully they’re doing well on this fine day. Read this please.

RATING: 7.8/8 dubious scientific processes (alpha male ranking)

#alpha review #fanfic review #stobotnik #Stobotnik fanfic

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A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE ATTEMPTS TO GETTING FUCKED (AND A FORTUNATE ONE) by Mikaeru

SUMMARY: "A new book comes out and Aziraphale has to read it the second it's out, of course; the thing is, it's out the same day Crowley is desperate for a fuck. Who will win, Aziraphale's desire to read the new book or Crowley's desire to be fucked out of his mind?"

NOTE: [I checked my drafts and found this so I might as well post it. This was written around November of 2022]

PREGAME: I tried something new and made what fic I read based on randomized numbers (: first I had ten fandoms and rolled a D10 to decide which one I would go with, (I rolled a 6, so Good Omens was chosen), then I rolled a D5 to decide what the rating was (I rolled a 3, so Explicit), then I made it so there's no unfinished works or crossover fics, and did a random number generator to decide which page I would choose (12 it was), and then I rolled a D20 (because there were 20 fics on the page) and I rolled a 1. So here it is, an overcomplicated process to get this fanfic, hooray. And when seeing that it was the choice, I was pretty excited, the title seemed promising and I love myself some silly shenanigans before people get fucked. Hopefully next time I do this process I get something that isn't all porn but hey who knows.

REVIEW: To describe this is to ruin my silly vibes. My alpha groove came in with expecting one thing and got another kinda. The writing style is not my cup of tea, the use of the tilde ruined my vibes and that is very sad but I liked the goofiness of the whole “aww shit bro fuck me” and Aziraphale being oblivious and just wanting to read. Aziraphale was showing his alpha mode right there. Honestly I just loved all the Aziraphale bits and tolerated the Crowley bits. I haven’t watched Good Omens in like five months so I can’t remember if it was out of character and that’s why I couldn’t get in the groove of Crowley or if it was something else. But just the bits with Aziraphale make it worth the toleration of some tildes. I loved it when Aziraphale calls Crowley darling and other pet names it reminded me of my partner and as an alpha that enhanced my experience. The buildup was awesome too it was silly enough for me to groove in the vibes and you can feel the desperation build up and the release was pretty okay. And the whole bit with Aziraphale’s book just went so hard I loved the writing of him I don’t know why but it was so silly and fit my very goofy mood. In general I liked it but the Crowley moments were a bit too much for me, too much use of the tilde and shit but hey what can you do.

BEST LINE: And what was Crowley if not a lap demon, weak under the attack of those soft, clear eyes? He felt naked and foolish; just 200 pages, no biggie.

RATING: 3.9/8 short skirts (gamma male ranking)

#good omens fanfiction #alpha review #fanfic review #ineffable husbands

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FOR YOU? I’D BURN by Toshi_hi

SUMMARY: “What if Beatty didn't get the reports made about Montag's poetry reading? Five times Montag quoted a book and one time Beatty finished it.”

PREGAME: I hate Ray Bradbury with every inch of my skin and every bone in my body. Every breath I breathe is to hate this man for creating the works I have been TORTURED WITH and HAUNTED BY in every year of my existence. However, tonight I was inspired and I wanted to read a fanfic about the short story of Bradbury’s I’ve read the most, “A Sound of Thunder,” however there were barely any (one of which was just the story itself and the rest were either inspired or retellings of it), so I took to the most popular work of Bradbury’s, Fahrenheit 451. I didn’t really like F451, I thought it had good concepts but they weren’t explored upon enough for me, it just felt too short. With Bradbury’s works I always want more from the world and the story, I want to know more about the characters and the setting but like I never get to do it’s dissatisfying and not in a cool contemplative way but in a way that makes reading his works feel rushed. However, I do respect his creation of Captian Beatty, one of my favorite literary villains (or even characters) of all time. I still feel like his arc was unfinished but I like leaving it up to interpretation for F451. So the interpretation of the character, and him being all knowledgeable about books and philosophy was so interesting and it never says why so fanfiction is the obviously best route for this as a nice character analysis. There is a type of villain I always enjoy that Captain Beatty goes into, same with Caesar from FNV so hey maybe there should be a crossover fic for that too. Fahrenheit: New Vegas coming soon. Anyways this was the first fic i saw and the five + one format is always a mixed bag for me so it could go any way.

REVIEW: it was cute. The average 5+1 fic can be described as that for me. It was an interesting interpretation of the characters and story as well. The background as to why Beatty quoted literature to Montag is because he used to read books as escapism after the death of a loved one and that’s pretty interesting. It’s not my personal interpretation of Beatty at all, but it worked well in the story so I liked it. In this, they made it so firemen were dropping from the job like flies because they felt like burning books wasn’t too bad, and they even brought up a common question I had, like why people were allowed to read scripts for the shows but not for Shakespeare. And Beatty’s justification for that was more for himself than for the society, so this did feel more warm than book, it had a happy ending for the society and made it change instead of the actual ending where it just gets bombed and that’s pretty cool. Montag just divorces Millie which is what I needed as well. It’s just like a feel good fic for people who wanted to see more Beatty moments I guess. I liked it but the ended fell a bit flat. There isn’t much to say about this it’s cute and sweet but the ending was just meh

BEST LINE: Montag looked up from his hand and chuckled disparagingly. "Feel free not to respond, it'd be an accomplishment to be able to tell the men I struck Captain Beatty mute with my marital issues.“

RATING: 4/8 divorce papers (delta male status)

#fanfic review #alpha review #Fahrenheit 451 #F451 #Fahrenheit 451 Fanfiction #Captain Beatty x Guy Montag #Beatty x Montag #F451 Fanfiction #ray bradbury #I hate ray bradbury #all alphas hate ray bradbury

[alphamalereviewsfanfics]

THE FIRST DAY OF THEIR LIVES by IzabellaStarkey

SUMMARY: "The Doctor stops by to visit you for your birthday. You haven't seen each other in a while, so you decide to ask questions to catch up with him. When a certain question pops up, The Doctor leaves the apartment and goes to his TARDIS. You follow him to see what he's doing, and what you see totally catches you by surprise!"

PREGAME: I know barely anything about doctor who but I trust my partner's taste in fanfics. Also I was reading two things at once while reading this one so if my mind isn't in the right place then I apologize. (alpha behavior moment) and also I might review the rest of the works in IzabellaStarkey's "The Doctors Desire" series that this fanfic is apart of.

REVIEW: It's pretty okay. What I didn't get was how fast it happened, like there was no real build-up to the porn, just one second the doctor was at the door and then he ran back out to the tardis (out of nowhere) and then you followed him and then he was jacking off??? and then you go back and he's back and you fuck. Maybe I'm a bit of a boring guy but I prefer more of a cohesive timeline before the people have sex. It just seemed like the author didn't know how to naturally segway from the accidental catching of the dude jacking off to the two having sex. Also the overuse of the tilde symbol is a bit silly, maybe its because it takes me back to my old undertale days, but it just turns me off of any work if not used efficiently. Also the line, "He placed the head of his cock at your vaginal entrance," was very silly I couldn't help but do a littl ehehehhe silly moment on that. The best part of the fanfic was the nipple play shit that was pretty well written, but it was unfortunately sullied by the vaginal entrance. But no hate to anyone who likes it, it's just not big on my vibes bro

BEST LINE: "He placed the head of his cock at your vaginal entrance,"

RATING: 3/8 golf balls (gamma male status)

#fanfic review #10th doctor x reader #alpha review #x reader

[alphamalereviewsfanfics]

LONG DRIVE HOT METAL by AnEnormousPileofTribbles

SUMMARY: "You and Stan took a road trip and you might have accidentally had more soda than strictly advisable. It's alright though, because Stan is very into the way you're squirming..."

PREGAME: I was debating on which one I would open with; it of course is an important thing for me to do- and I have decided to go with my partner's request and start with Long Drive Hot Metal because I am an alpha. To assert dominance I must do this, it is in my alpha bones. I have read this out loud to my friend, but I have read this shit three times. Imagine how much this pains me because I would also say that I am not into piss, I am an alpha. But this fic is piss-centric, I have gone through many fics to decide which one would be my first review, two of which were piss fics that were also about gravity falls but this one has the most alpha vibes to me because Stan Pines is an alpha and everyone else in the fics is not also the other one I read was like a fanfiction inside of a fanfiction and I would like to touch upon that much later because my brain needs to think about that more. Anyways onto the show.

REVIEW: So again; not into piss, but because I'm an alpha I decided to commit to this and ONLY read this when I needed to piss. It did not help with the quality of the fic but it was a nice experiment. I really enjoy that the author left a disclaimer in the notes and an article to read about pissing in someone, its nice to know that this person knows what they're doing. And now I know that if I ever want to pee in anyone then I shouldn't because of acidity and shit. Actually getting to the fanfic, it was okay. Like from an objective sense it's got some alpha vibes. What didn't have alpha vibes though was the fucking overuse of description of the bladder. Like dude I've read like three piss kink fics so I don't know if it's like a common thing or not because the other two weren't big on mentioning it. Also the use of leggings removes some alpha points because I hate leggings they are ugly and uncomfortable and stupid. This one also establishes a sweet relationship between Stan and the reader, with it not being too overly sexual and just them having a good time, like when Stan asks permission for shit all the time and also jokes around like there's some chemistry it's not just all pee and annoying growling. It's kinda sweet. If I wanted my partner to piss in me I'd want it to be like this fic. If you're into piss then hell yeah read this and live your piss alpha dreams.

BEST LINE: "You’re so distracted by your own thoughts and jealousy over Stan’s clearly superior bladder capacity that you relax just a little bit." RATING: 5/8 bottles of piss (delta male status)

#fanfic review #gravity falls fanfiction #x reader #stan pines x reader #piss #alpha review

[alphamalereviewsfanfics]

long drive hot metal

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