30-3am

[30-3am]

having an incredible moral dilemma about the ethics of real person fanfiction currently. i have no clue if i've matured just a bit in the past months i haven't been writing anything or i'm having one of those nights but it's not looking good 😭

#obviously nothing against people who write rpf #as i am one of them #but it's hard to justify currently

[30-3am]

sorry for the wait on…everything. i’ve been very busy and struggling a lil bit with my head. i’ll try and get something out when i’ve got some free time to write. i’m pretty much booked and busy for the next two months tho unfortunately.

#metallica #james hetfield #trying my hardest #words aren’t flowing in any way #and i don’t have a free moment #i’m studying all day #and then by the time i’m ready to write i’m so tired i don’t wanna do anything expect doomscroll.

[30-3am]

When are you going to finish barefoot? No rush but i love the story

it’ll get done for sure!! my minds just in other places right now. and i don’t have much time on my hands.

#inbox #wish i had time to write #but i don’t #not really #this accounts kinda dead now anways and i’ve got other priorities

[30-3am]

feel like small town!james is very crush by ethel cain coded

yes he is! he's a loser!

#✭ - inbox #small town!james #james hetfield

[30-3am]

fav james era?

forever and always ♡

#✭ - inbox #metallica #james hetfield

[30-3am]

ville valo has completed my trinity. i’ve found my holy spirit.

#it’s all coming together #i’ve found him #i’ve found the one #i’m so sorry i’ve got ville on the brain #all day every day #but he’s been invited to the trinity #he’s special. #he’s my style icon.

[30-3am]

idk bout you but ville valo literally got me on my knees rn. crushing so hard. fell so hard. head over heels. start giggling every time i see him. fuck you bam margera for getting me into him.

#ville valo #him band #listen #its so bad #like actually so bad #i start crying when i think about him #i want him

[30-3am]

not tryna be a hater but posting on tiktok about how you could be a good mother to james hetfield and axl rose is kinda weird

#james hetfield #axl rose #i mean #freedom of speech #but considering james' history with his mom #and the fact she's literally fucking deceased #and the fact that james has never been on “bad terms” with his mom #why are you saying you could mother him better??? #and the same with axl #even though his relationship with his mother was different #it's still weird to say that you could be a good mom to him #call me a hater #idc #i just think it's a little odd #the fact the people who post it are probably children too??

[30-3am]

I love how you get new man crushes every other week. You’re just like me fr

i'm bored and don't feel complete if i'm not being a whore.

#✭ - inbox #just how it is #and ville valo just happens to be the man i'm whoring over #he's so sexy i can't keep my mind straight

[30-3am]

honestly in my ville valo era rn dhmu

#ville valo #what a man #already bought a poster so you know its serious

[30-3am]

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✝︎ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮

𝐀𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐄

" 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 " ☦︎ ˚ · .

☦︎ . 𝘫𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘵𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘭𝘥 𝘹 𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘦𝘴 ☦︎ . 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘣𝘺 @rahabdemo / @30-3am

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✝︎ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

#apostate #metallica #james hetfield #james hetfield fanfiction #james hetfield x oc #coming soon!! #go follow rahabdemo if you wanna read it #cause when i eventually post it #i'll be updating it there #k this is just a cute little thing #anyways

[30-3am]

just handwrote heather's goodbye letter to james

#✧ - txxt #barefoot #the things i do when i'm bored

[30-3am]

a lot of you followed it (surprisingly) so i might start posting pinterest finds on there and then eventually move over to it completely once i've finished all my wips.

Will you tell us your new account?? Ever?

yeah girl it's @rahabdemo but it's not really like i'm gonna post on there until i'm done with barefoot.

[30-3am]

Will you tell us your new account?? Ever?

yeah girl it's @rahabdemo but it's not really like i'm gonna post on there until i'm done with barefoot.

#✭ - inbox

[30-3am]

im tipsy as fuck n cant stop thinking abt small town james oh mY GOD😭😭😭 pls give us all a little taste just headcanons anythinggg

𝘚 𝘔 𝘈 𝘓 𝘓 ' 𝘛 𝘖 𝘞 𝘕 ' 𝘑 𝘈 𝘔 𝘌 𝘚 ' 𝘏 𝘌 𝘈 𝘋 𝘊 𝘈 𝘕 𝘕 𝘖 𝘕 𝘚

✧ ˚ 　· 　　 . small town! james hetfield x reader

this would've been james x my oc but i thought it would gain more traction if i did it x reader (icl it is pretty much the plot of my fic tho ... sorry!)

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

✪! most of the time, he's bored. nothing exciting ever goddamn happens in the damn place. so, to break up the day, he works. at the stupid gas station that's situated just off the main road.

✪! almost all that money is saved up so he can buy himself the guitar that's been hanging in the music shop window for almost a year now. no one else was cool enough to play something that looked so damn good.

✪! the rest of the money goes to beer. and although he doesn't smoke much, sometimes all the looks from the old women and the judgement from their husbands gets too much and he swipes a pack of marlboros from behind the counter and goes on his way.

✪! he doesn't have many friends - just talks to the few people who don't act like he's the most awful thing that has graced the town.

✪! and he won't lie to himself, it gets lonely.

✪! not only does he barely interact with the townspeople, he's also shit out of luck for women. when he was back in california, they were everywhere. he could go down to the beach and find them sprawled out on the sand in bikinis, walking down the road in shorts that showed off their ass and driving in convertibles with their boyfriends.

✪! then he got to the middle of fucking nowhere and suddenly, it was all old women and girls with skirts to their ankles.

✪! so he settled for one girl who was bold enough to flirt with him in the middle of his shift. she was pretty enough and he was pretty much out of options.

✪! and she was fine for a while - the on-and-off relationship he had with her. but eventually, he grew tired of being the catalyst for pissed parents.

✪! so he dropped her.

✪! and then, fuck, did it get even lonelier.

✪! the monotony of the days caught up with him. working whilst the sun was shining and then wandering aimlessly down dirt roads with a 6 pack under his arm and head full of something he couldn't quite pinpoint, during the night. a lot of the time he woke up in the cornfields or at the house he frequented that hadn't been occupied for at least forty years.

✪! and then he'd drag his feet behind him as he walked back to where he'd left his truck and drive home with a pounding head.

✪! just as the mundanity became too much, just as he thought about running fast into the sun and never turning back, you came.

✪! you walked into the gas station, looking like you were from the other side of town - not from where he resided. one of the rich catholic girls with a dad who worked on the city council.

✪! expecting the snobbishness and judgement that most showed him, you entirely surprised him as you looked at him, not with disgust, but with admiration.

✪! you looked enticed by him.

✪! and he wanted to get to know you better.

✪! as you paid for your soda and candy, you hadn't looked at him. even when he put on his customer service voice and wished you a good day, you had mumbled a "you too" under your breath and ran off.

✪! he had watched you leave, walking towards a man (who he assumed was your father) and james held his stare as he eyed him through the glass.

✪! he hoped that next time, you'd be alone. maybe you'd be a little more talkative if your asshole dad wasn't glaring at him.

✪! and, by the grace of god, you were alone the next time the bell above the door rang and you stepped in.

✪! even better, you talked.

✪! and therefore, a friendship blossomed.

✪! and finally, james' life became a little more interesting.

✪! when the relationship progressed out of the walls of the gas station, he'd taken you in his truck and shown you the abandoned house he'd found. he'd dragged you through the fields and to the outskirts of town where you had confessed you had never been before.

✪! most importantly, he took you to the lake - situated just a short walk from his house.

✪! in the summer, when it was a hot and sticky afternoon, he had taken you, by the hand, and led you to the body of water he called his own - that he refused to share with anyone.

✪! you'd talked to him about your parents, about your life, about your friends and family - things that you'd confessed you hadn't told anyone else before.

✪! you'd talked until the sun set and the moon rose.

✪! and you'd panicked about your parents and how it was way past curfew, but your stress fell on deaf ears. because james couldn't stop thinking about how damn beautiful you looked: slightly sunkissed, the light of the moon catching on the side of your face.

✪! maybe it was the heat driving him insane that made him think it was a good idea to kiss you. or maybe, over the months he'd spent in your company, he'd fallen deeply in love with you. it was most likely the latter.

✪! but he had held your face between his hands and silenced your hysteria with a kiss.

✪! the fire in him blazed when you kissed back.

✪! slowly, friendship turned into relationship, days spent sneaking around and stealing kisses. nights spent laughing and touching and skinny dipping in the lake.

✪! the bank of the lake was where he'd taken you for the first time - both wet and naked as you gripped onto his shoulders and pressed kiss after kiss on his lips.

✪! almost every time you were together, you would talk about running away, making plans and stories in your heads of where you would go. together.

✪! all either of you wanted was to get in his truck and drive far away. he'd promised you, with a kiss to your forehead that he would show you california one day - that he would find a way to get you out of there.

✪! then, your parents found out about your interactions with him. and although they didn't know the extent of the relationship, it was enough to force you to stop seeing him.

✪! they wouldn't let you out of the house, and if you did leave, they would have to supervise you.

✪! once again, james was left alone.

✪! he started drinking a lot more. more than he used to.

✪! because he hadn't heard a word from you in weeks. all he could assume was that you'd left him - that you didn't wanna be around him anymore.

✪! he'd called your house one time but a male voice sounded from the other end and he'd put the phone down out of fear.

✪! weeks and weeks and weeks you didn't talk to him and it truly felt like he was sinking.

✪! so one random night, he'd gathered all the cash he had saved up, packed his bags and clambered into his truck. he was headed for california. he'd already called relatives that would let him stay with them until he got on his feet.

✪! he was all set for home.

✪! as he began driving, he knew you were supposed to be coming with him. it was wrong that you weren't huddled into the passenger seat, rifling through his cassettes and toying with the radio.

✪! but he left either way. because he couldn't stand the place before you and he despised it after you. it was impossible to stay there.

✪! he left without a word and you never saw him again.

✪! all you got was a postcard from california in the mail that read "thank you for making that town bearable. i would've lost myself if you weren't there."

✪! it wasn't signed yet you knew exactly who it was from and, as soon as you held it and stared at the return address he'd crammed into the corner, you knew exactly where you were heading.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

this went in a completely different direction than i thought it would. it was supposed to be cute little headcannons yet i gave an entire plot lol. and someone take angst away from me omfg either way, i hope you enjoyed reading. it's something to tide you over whilst i keep working on the 90s james one shot and barefoot.

#alana's writing #james hetfield #metallica #small town!james #james hetfield x reader #james hetfield fanfiction

[30-3am]

can you please do one where he’s a cowboy and your hired by his dad as a ranch hand at the farm PUHLEASEEE

i could do something along those lines! add it to the wips list. just a small one shot would be cute methinks.

#james hetfield #metallica #i love cowboy james

[30-3am]

Small town James who lives in a town where every other house is abandoned and there’s only dirt roads

there’s nothing around but cornfields and cows and abandoned farmhouses that he frequents when he’s tryna get away from everyone. and there’s a lake just a short walk from his house that he swims in during the summer because he’s always bored and there’s nothing else to do. and one summer, the summer he’s with you, he takes you there and you go skinny dipping together under the moonlight. and you know you shouldn’t be out so late but it doesn’t matter because you’d tolerate the lecture you’d get when you got back home if it meant you could spend the rest of your time with james.

#small town!james #james hetfield #metallica #james hetfield x reader #hm #yes #i like it #i like it a lot #so. #many. #thoughts.