1000tigersteps

[1000tigersteps]

Kensho jap. (ken-sho) The zen experience  when one’s own nature is seen for what truly is. This is hard times for everyone in the world, but also blessed ones to see our fears, test our abilities.. Are our abilities good enough if we have no chance to test them? On my birthday I saw the story, that I resonated with at the moment... Clean everything.. your room, your closet, wash every corner, clean your head.. But I mean it, clean it... So in the end you see the shining essence of what are your truly needs, who you truly are and what your fears actually have.. with no clothes, just plain as they are, no more shiny shit on top. And maybe then you can feel Kensho.. the true nature of oneself..And that is a blessing.  ----The story---- Master, how can I face isolation? Clean your house. Thoroughly. In every corner. Even the ones you never felt like, the courage and the patience to play.

Make your house bright and well cared for. It removes dust, cobwebs, impurities. Even the most hidden.

Your house represents you: if you take care of it, you also take care of yourself.

-Master but the time is long.

After taking care of me through my house, how can I live the isolation?

-Fix what can be fixed and remove what you no longer need.

Dedicate yourself to the patchwork, embroider the starts of your pants, sew well the frayed edges of your dresses, restore a piece of furniture, repair everything worth repairing.

The rest, throw it away. With gratitude.

And with the awareness that its cycle has ended.

Fixing and removing outside of yourself allows you to fix or remove what's inside of you.

-Master and then what?

What can I do all the time alone?

-Sowing.

Even a seed in a vase.

Take care of a plant, water it every day, talk to it, give it a name, remove the dry leaves and weeds that can suffocate it and steal precious vital energy.

It is a way of caring for your inner seeds, your desires, your intentions, your ideals.

-Master and if the void comes to visit me? ... If fear of illness and death come?

-Talk to them.

Prepare the table for them too, reserve a place for each of your fears.

Invite them to dinner with you. And ask them why they came from so far to your house. What message do they want to bring you.

What do they want to communicate to you.

-Master, I don't think I can do this ...

-It is not isolation your problem, but the fear of facing your inner dragons Those that you always wanted to get away from you. Now you can't run away.

Look them in the eyes, listen to them and you will discover that they put you against the wall.

They've isolated you so they can talk to you.

Like the seeds that can only sprout if they are alone.

Prakasa Yoga Playlist for being soft, easy going and light

#life quarantine yoga story

[1000tigersteps]

We all fall in love, we are all imperfect and we all argue in some way or another. Couples usually don’t understand why it is so hard to understand each other, the obvious things for each sex.  If you are one of those couples or have a painful past relationship, maybe you need to read some classic books about the differences between man and women, to unwrap the mystery of miscommunication.

1.  Read a book  Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus (1992)

I saw this book when I was just a kid and always thought it was some kind of sci-fi story about aliens. Suddenly I felt an urge to understand how man and women are thinking. No wonder this book is a bestseller and explains everything in 2+2 style.

2. Imperfections are just differences

“He never listens to me”, “She is always nagging me”, “I do not know why we started to argue, I just asked” and so on. Classic phrases from disappointed couples. Ask yourself one question when entering the loving partnership, are you willing to love another person even if he/she speaks the different language and you will have to remind yourself how your partner sees everything from another point of view.

3. How men think in a nutshell

Man are from Mars, they seek logic, they don’t need advice or help, as long as they come by themselves and ask ( if we talk about the task ), they like to be appreciated and valued, they want to be a knight in a shining armor, like in an old fairytale. They are fighters, they need to be leaders in some parts of the life, they have a task and they want to do it by themselves.

It is important to them how you ask to do the little things and when you ask it. Do you use Could you? or Would you? It makes a huge difference in a man’s mind. Because Could you? means that you doubt his ability to do something. Women tend to think that Could you? are more polite, but in reality, this type of question can harm man’s pride. 

The hardest part for a women to understand that all man tend to go to a man cave from time to time and it is needed to be understood. This is how men deal with their problems.

They like to be direct. If you lack an attention simply just say it because a man can’t feel the same empathy as women do. 

The most important thing, man wants to feel free even if he is in a committed relationship. That he can choose. And if you allow this feeling in your relationship, your man will be happy. 

Man can’t provide all the support women need. Because historically he was provider and protector and women usually had an emotional support from women communities. Times changed but some things are still the same, so if you see that your man can’t provide you enough attention, sometimes it is better not to bother him, but to stay with friends and with an open heart. 

Never be demanding, if you will cherish him, he will come back to you with more love. In Mars there is a rule, don’t fix it, unless it is broken. If a man will feel that you all the time want to change him, he will feel broken and not good enough for you. 

Man, give penalty points if you unlove him. If you want to reduce some you should take a look at this list as an example:

1. He makes a mistake and she doesn’t say “I told you so and so” or offer advice (10-20 points) 2. He disappoints her and she doesn’t punish him (10-20 points) 3. He gets lost while driving and she doesn’t make a big deal out of it (10-20 points) 4. He gets lost and she sees the good in the situation and says “we would never have seen this beautiful sunset if we had taken the most direct route” (20-30 points) 5. He forgets to pick up something and she says “it’s okay. Would you do it next time you’re out?”(10-20 points) 6. He forgets to pick up something again and she says with trusting patience and persistence “it’s OK. Would you still get it?” (20-30 points) 7. When she has hurt him and she understands his hurt, she apologizes and gives him the love he needs (10-40 points) 8. She asks for support and he says no and she is not hurt by his rejection but trusts that he would if he could. She does not reject him or disapprove of him (10-20 points) 9. Another time she asks for his support and he again says no. She doesn’t make him feel wrong but accepts his limitations at this time (20-30 points) 10. She asks for his support without being demanding when he assumes the score is somewhat even (1-5- points) 11. She asks for his support without being demanding when she is upset or he knows she has been giving more (10-30 points) 12. When he withdraws she doesn’t make him feel guilty (10-20 points) 13. When he comes back from his cave she welcomes him not reject him (10-20 points) 14. When he apologizes for a mistake and she receives it with a loving acceptance and forgiveness. The bigger the mistake he makes the more points he gives (10-50 points) 15. When he asks her to do something and she says no without giving a list of reasons why she can’t do it (1-10 points) 16. When he asks her to do something and she says yes and stays in a good mood (1-10 points) 17. When he wants to make up after a fight and starts doing little things for her and she starts appreciating him again (10-30 points) 18. She is happy to see him when he gets home (10-20 points) 19. She feels disapproving and instead of expressing it she goes in another room and privately centers herself and then comes back with a more centered and loving heart (10-20 points) 20. On special occasions, she overlooks his mistakes that might normally upset her (20-40 points) 21. She really enjoys having sex with him (10-40 points) 22. He forgets where he put his keys and she doesn’t look at him as though he was irresponsible (10-20 points)

4. How women think in a nutshell

Women are sensitive and emotional creatures. All women understand the world through the emotions. That’s why they have emotional waves, she can be happy at her peak and suddenly her mood is down and she feels insecure, with low self-esteem, this moment a support from loving partner is needed most. Woman need care and reassurance that man loves her and that she is fine. So this moment is temporary and she can spread love and happiness again. 

A woman needs to be cherished, complimented, adored and loved. A woman has her own system of love points. If a man buys her a car it doesn’t mean 30 points it means 1 point as the flowers too. Cinema, flowers, car is valued at one point each. So if a man wants the loved one to be happy he needs to do those little and small things for her from time to time.

A woman needs to talk about things, and it doesn’t mean she asked for a solution, she just wants to explain her feelings and feel OK to share it. And partner needs to listen to her.  A man should never diminish woman’s feelings and say “Oh, it is not a big deal”. For her, it means to be unloved, ignored and minimized. 

Women believe in unconditional love and sometimes sacrifices themselves even when they feel that they are giving more to a relationship.

There is a small list how to cherish women: 1. Upon returning home find her first before doing anything else and give her a hug. 2. Ask her specific questions about her day that indicate an awareness of what she was planning to do 3. Practice listening and asking questions 4. Resist the temptation to solve her problems- empathize instead 5. Give her twenty minutes of unsolicited, quality attention. 6. Bring her cut flowers as a surprise as well as on special occasions 7. Plan a date several days in advance, rather than waiting for Friday night and asking her what she wants to do. 8. If she generally makes dinner or if it is her turn and she seems tired or really busy, offer to make dinner. 9. Compliment her on how she looks 10. Validate her feelings when she is upset 11. Offer to help her when she’s tired 12. Schedule an extra time when traveling so that she doesn’t have to rush 13. When you are going to be late, call her and let her know 14. When she asks for support, say yes or no without making her wrong for asking 15. Whenever her feelings have been hurt, give her some empathy and tell her, “I’m sorry you feel hurt.” Then be silent; let her feel your understanding of her hurt. Don’t offer solutions or explanations why her hurt is not your fault. 16. Whenever you need to pull away, let her know you will be back or that you need some time to think about things 17. When you’ve cooled off and you come back, talk about what was bothering you in a respectful, non-blaming way, so she doesn’t imagine the worst 18. Offer to build a fire in wintertime 19. When she talks to you, put down the magazine or turn off the TV and give her your full attention 20. If she usually washes the dishes, occasionally offer to wash the dishes, especially if she is tired that day

5. 90/10 rule

Remember it is not always about you. We are different, with different background and languages. Sometimes weird unexpected emotions come from suppressed childhood traumas. Lack of attention, bad parenting and so on. So, about 90 percent of being upset is related to our past and has nothing to do with what we think is upsetting us. And only about 10 percent of our bad emotions are appropriate to the present experience. What you can practice with your partner is love letters, where you try in a loving manner to discuss your feelings, why you feel sad angry, unloved and so on.

You only got your legs wet, to understand more you need to read more about relationships, opposite sex,  and come with the understanding that we are different and that’s OK. Hope, you are strong enough to work and explore the vast sea of a great partnership. And a calm sea never made a good sailor :)

Discover more: http://booksums.blogspot.lt/2008/04/men-are-from-mars-women-are-from-venus.html

https://www.amazon.de/Men-Mars-Women-Venus-Understanding/dp/0060574216

#love #man #life #lifestyle

[1000tigersteps]

My playlist for playful, childish, open, brave people.

A playlist for people who feel reborn and free. 

And one song for lost ones.

[1000tigersteps]

44 life lessons, which I can mark as essential for today’s life, and for my life perspective. Every lesson or quote you may understand different from your experience.

But many inspiring thoughts are like a little push ups to think and re-wire your belief system, and this is great way to evolve and grow as a person.

1.There is no one truth.  Stop believing that your idea is the only right one. There are many “right” ideas in the world and it is your job to explore them.

2.Keep to your goal. It is hard to wait for something you know that might not happen, but it is harder, to give up, when you know it’s everything you want.

3.You can’t grow to a strong person with an easy past. Take life as a school, some lessons are easy, some are hard. Without experience knowledge lose its value.

4.Do not think about plan B. It is less possibility to achieve plan A.

5.Honest feeling and bad timing cause most painful combination. Not all timing is the best, and not all thing you can plan. Accept that.

6.Do not over think your life. There are too many possibilities and too many options. Just let go and accept everything as an experience. Otherwise over thinking leads to analysis paralysis and inability to choose anything at all.

7.Life is a play. It is not a journey. It is important how we live, not where we end it.

8.Listen to your intuition. Logic-it’s like complex rules from many other people empiric statements. But it is not always working on all life situations and your intuition might know more than your think. It is less likely to fail while listening to your higher self.

9.Self-honesty is freedom. When you live honest to yourself, you feel authentic and free.

10.Simple is better. People tend to overcomplicate everything, but life itself is not so complicated. Let go many things, and you will have more space for joy.

11.Make an action. Doesn’t matter who you are. A procrastinator, daydreamer, indecisive person, force yourself to an action and big step, it is the best cure for worry and anxiety.

12.Love and smile. There are days you hate people because, everything happens not in the way it should. But remember what you give outside, comes back to you.

13.Letting your fear away. The biggest enemy is fear. When you let it grow, it destroys you.

14.True love is a meeting of two souls, fully accepting the dark and the light within each other, bound by the courage to grow from a struggle to a bliss.

15.It is never too late. Usually it is the biggest excuse not to take practise, because of the age.

16.Heal your wounds. Hiding and not dealing with you pain is not a making you a better person.

17.Live life as you imagine and want, not how other people imagine it should be. If you are a romantic person, don’t live like a practical one, and so on.

18.Perfection is boring. There are no perfect people, but less perfect people are more interesting one.

19.Never stop learning. You will never know enough, and you will never know the only truth.

20.Always do best in your situation. The best stress healer is knowledge you did the best in your situation.

21.Do not take anything personally. Being empathetic is ok, but if you will take everything too personally you will be always distracted by diluted feelings of others.

22.You can handle it. No matter what you think, that you can’t do it, actually you can.

23.You could be wrong. Let yourself to be wrong. As this may happen, and accepting it from the start will get you closer to reality with less pain.

24.You body is a temple. You age, and smoking, drinking, eating shitty food is like trashing a temple. Be kind to yourself, you don’t have else to live.

25.Change is good. Many people resist change, but it is actually good. Think about the moving water and standing one. Big difference. Change clears you, brings to unknown places.

26.Not all thoughts are truth. Thoughts are like clouds passing by. We decide what we will do with them. Learn to let go bad thoughts and embrace good ones.

27.Taking a risk is a big step. But you will feel better if you will do it, rather than not. As you may regret it for all your life.

28.Travel makes you better person. Travel gives you an insight, acceptance, knowledge, experience.

29.Exercise is best superpower. If you will do it regularly you will feel more self-confident, healthy with other countless benefits. Just leanr what is best for your body.

30.Life is now. You can plan many things, but do not forget to live now. You do not know 100 percent will your plan succeed or not. Otherwise all your life will look like a big fail.

31.Be kind and forgive. Holding anger is bad for you and for others. Letting go is just letting go a big angry thought cloud.

32.Be sure about the things you need. Yes, some things might be useful as a tools but think how many time you give for things you do not actually need, or  you simply diluted that you needed them.

33.Your heart is the best compass.

34.Spending time alone will learn you many things. Stop distracting yourself with many things in order not to know yourself better and accept who you are.

35.Happiness is an internal state. You have to be fully happy in order to make other person happy.

36.Often those who aren’t the easiest to love are the ones who we need the most.

37.Find some hobbies. One to keep you in shape, one to keep you creative and one to make you money.

38.The best is yet to come.

39.If you will get any opportunity to get crazy decisions. Do it.

40.Sometimes you need to be strategic motherfucker. Think about things you want to achieve and how you can do it. To set a life goal is necessary.

41.Be more funny. Smart is better than serious. Smart and funny is the best combination.

42.Value your friendships. Good friendships are the diamonds. Do not lose them.

43.Treat yourself. Sometimes problems comes from us, because we treat ourselves as the worst enemies.

44.Let happen the unknown...

[1000tigersteps]

I traveled a lot since I was a child, I visited many countries, and I will continue to do so. My lucky fortune gave me a unique opportunity to do it and it is really weird that I didn’t traveled alone before. I didn’t care about many things because others did, while now it is the best thing to make a perfect vagabond-freelancer-surfer list.

But first, why it is good to travel alone? Because you can’t get distracted by other people so much, you become more aware of yourself, how you act in different situations, how you manage to control money, problems, navigate alone in the city. You become more open to strangers and let the world fill you. I think every man in his life should do that, and not for one week, but at least for two months. My list is more oriented to warm countries, so you can add your parts later. I collected information from many cool travellers in one piece.

**PAPERWORK**

-Hotel confirmations;

-Flight check inn;

-Passport, visas;

-Travel insurance if needed;

-Credit card, Debit card;

-Backup copy of documents and passport, hold in different places;

-Write some home numbers somewhere, if you lose a phone (line in your email where you might find it);

**THINGS**

-60-70 l backpack if you are going for a long journey, you do not have to pack it all but it is better to have extra space;

- Small backpack, for city journeys;

-Smartphone ( always charge it as you can), charger and adapter, and the map of your country (such as google maps offline map);

-Laptop and Wacom tablet, charger, pen (small carrying suit). Also prepare laptop with every file you might need. Take USB;

-Shoes for hiking and shoes for walking (like converse, think what suits you most in all occasions), slippers;

-Dezinfectant( you travel in many part and you immune system sucks especially at first days);

-Medicine ( from headache, stomach, fever, contraception, traumas, plaster);

-Lunette for women travellers;

-E-book;

-Easy jacket from rain;

-Camera, charger, accumulators, lenses;

-Headphones;

-Handy money pocket and safe money pocket;

-Sunglasses;

-Swimming suit;

-Socks, panties, trousers,  t-shirts, sport wear, jacket, dresses, hippie stuff;

-Sleeping pillow and sleep eye patch;

- Poi of jew harp for fun;

-A book for writing your diary and daily work list;

-Toothbrush/paste, soap, shampoo in small bottles, floss.Other hygiene stuff;

-Lucky amulet ( let’s call this a ritual);

-Tissues;

-Contact lenses and liquid;

-Shaver;

**TO DO**

Now things to do before you go;

-Vaccines if needed;

-Visa information (usually you can get in on board);

-Count money how much you will spend at least in half of one month. At first it will be more, but later it will be less if you will stay in one place. Otherwise you can lose control. Know how much will cost you taxi from airport, and a primal prices just not to spend too much on gringos taxes;

-Have some cash;

-Before you go, check some information about your country, collect it in printable file and have it on a journey to read, especially if you have no book ( lonely planet or footprint);

-For surfers I founded a very good blog post with all the measurements and things to know for newbies;

Bali surfing

**TIPS**

-Make a budget excel. I really liked this one, it gives you direct experience on how much you spend;

Budget Table

-Take a minimalist approach. Take and buy things you really need. Always think how long your happiness will last with that thing and maybe you can borrow it.

-Live a dream trip. Every day is your dream trip. Don’t waste it. Try to catch best moments of it in one picture;

-Install VPN into your computer to protect your data, if you are going to use many wi-fi sources;

VPN

-Install money converter, language apps;

-If you want to save money, you may try couchsurfing.org, homexchange.com, homestay.com;

-If you want to make you sport journey count, do activities for some muscles, to get in better shape as soon as possible;

-Don’t forget a smile is a language which all people understand!

That’s it for this step! 1 2 3 let’s have an adventure!

[1000tigersteps]

People don’t like to destroy things, especially when they put a lot of effort in it. Imagine you are building a huge card house and after a while it is not so pretty as wanted and repair only makes it worse. Still you value your time and effort so you can’t destroy it. And this is so wrong. I use destruction method at my work. If something is not going quit well, I quit the idea and start from the blank. You need to completely destroy any previous thought in order to create something more outstanding,  to be open to the outside world.

I remember one philosopher in my university said great words:

You can’t draw a unique flower if you will think about a flower as it is. You need to forget a flower and then draw it.

And people are most afraid to destroy their lives (concept of living ). Quit job, divorce, leave, change place, stop to hang out with toxic people... you name it. Destruction and separation has many names. And people are more likely to be victims of life and hold this huge crooked construction on their backs rather than to change something. Of course I was one of those personas.  And I felt huge urge to get free from all the beliefs, stereotypes, illusions. That’s why I started this blog 1000tigersteps. And from this new year I destroyed everything around me, left myself with a blank paper. I understood that I have nothing and I need a lot less than I thought. Now I feel so light, almost fly like feather. But the process of destruction was consumptive. Sometimes it feels like you are stupid, making the mistake after mistake, but in the end it is all just an illusion. I never felt so sure that I am in the right path. I only forgot how to listen to my intuition - the heart compass. Now I hear it perfectly. And it feels great.

Not all decisions comes easy, most of them will be hard, crushing, challenging, but it’s worth it. Only through shock it’s possible to grow. Comfort is a rabbit hole for everyone, you become lazy life worm, and forget what life really is. 

Life is a challenge, life is love, life is an adventure, life is a dance, life is freedom, life is a process of play.

I will leave you with my favourite philosopher Alan Watts and his video, video 2, video 3. He is really great and inspired me many times. Let yourself go to an adventure of love. Even if the path to it is not always straight and you may need to destroy things, get lost, go to zero to become a hero, always walking, never stopping, trying, climbing and you will make it. I promise.

[1000tigersteps]

It is said that one day can change your life forever. Or to be more precise in one second. In one minute you can say that you love someone or you hate, in one second the car might hit you, or you can win a million. In one minute you can cut all your losses and be totally free to go nowhere and same moment everywhere. But to overcome this minute, this second is the hardest. No matter how hard you try to be prepared, you will still fail. Today I am nowhere, finally, in this dark forest zone, where all the arrows point somewhere, so much to do, and what to choose..The day when you take all responsibility for your actions and finally come to the main stage of life instead of acting in the shadows and making others happy. 

You know, you only live once, and in life not all decisions will be easy, but at least you tried to follow your heart and your intuition, in the end we all have just a belief that we will be happy. 

[1000tigersteps]

When someone tells me the word enlightenment, I feel instant bullshit alert. While actually I never even thought more deeply what this really is. As many of us. There are different interpretations of what exactly enlightenment is. But basically they all mean the same thing.

Enlightenment means awakening and true understanding how your mind works from direct experience. We all know how brains should work from the books, but many people never try to feel how it is really constructed. Enlightenment brings you an insight of the work of your mind which keeps you imprisoned in craving, suffering. Also you gain ability to see the world as one unity, sense of liberation and true love. This is the basic. I will explain concept from deep meditation techniques used to trigger different thinking.

Enlightenment meditation is like yourself deconstruction process. Let’s sit in meditation position (don’t eat before, and feel well rested), close your eyes.

Ask yourself:  Who am I?

Your mind might say: Well I am here, I am the body and the mind.

Ask:  So If I will loose my feet, will I be less me? Or I am a feet?

Your mind: No I am not the feet, I am in mind.

Ask: So where are you? Behind the eyes?  ( try to sense how you visualise yourself in brains and where is that place)

You mind: Well I am here in mind.

Ask: Who is aware that you are you?

Your mind: Well I am aware.

Ask: No, but who is aware that you are talking to me? ( you understand that you divide yourself and the speaking mind into two you )

Your mind: Mind is aware, something is aware.

Ask: But if you are the mind who is aware of that? ( as you will see - nothing) 

Ask: Where all my thoughts going? What is my thoughts? Who created my thoughts? 

Mind: I created them, they are going into me ( well it is going nowhere, they disappear or change form). 

I will give credits to Leo from actualized.org , he says that thoughts are like cinema, were you watch how Angelina kisses with Brad, and you think you watch that, but reality is that you watch the blinking light impulses. 

You continue to meditate on this kind practise and you will see that there is no you. That you is just a thought about you, but there is no actually you as you. When you actually follow your one thought you see you can’t hold it for 1 minute, it will disappear and another thought will rise. And you are not always thinking about yourself, it comes when you need to analyse something, or protect. Usually you are too distracted in this world to think about the idea of yourself.  Imagine a newborn child, he has no idea what I means, he follows his instincts to eat, cry and to have a pee or poo, and only after some time the idea of I will be imprinted in his mind. Awakening is not a pleasant thing to understand that there is no such I and in reality there is nothingness which metaphorically is everything.

This is the basis of enlightenment experience. This is hard step to accept the reality as it is. What is interesting that actually there is no process how to get into enlightenment, even buddhist calls this entering the gateless gates. It means that depending on how many beliefs you hold and how easy you can let them in order to open and deconstruct your mind. If you will practise this kind of meditation you might be enlightened maybe in 3 months or maybe in 10 years.

And if you seek for it then be careful for the traps in your path like zen devil or wild fox, or the feeling that you already got it and you know everything (Catch -22). Enlightened people work on their mind everyday because it can get asleep again.

If you want to know more you might check this link.

P.S. This is New Year, and I bet you have many resolutions in mind and I hope you have one more to add. To grow up into the best person as you can be, time does not exist to that, it goes in line, without any new year step.

Have Best!

[1000tigersteps]

Procrastination is an action of delaying. The best example, imagine you have an easy task to do, which will take a few minutes, but with procrastination you will do it in one week or month. Depends how chronic you habit is.

It is really a big, new age disease, with so many distractions around, so many pleasures to get instantly, so we easily lose our focus from what really matters.  

A real procrastinator will spend hours (as Tim Urban describes) in dark playground, where he will watch how the kittens play or which old technique people used to print wallpapers and so on. Times flies and if you see yourself all life looking in the screen just of funny kittens, I think it will not bring you everlasting joy. What are the solutions? You can’t just stop procrastinating because you decided so, because it is a habit connected with dopamine in your brains. If you procrastinate at that very moment you get a dose of pleasure, but later you will repay with anxiety and panic.

How to stop procrastinating. Here are a few tips:

-Always think that everything you do is your choice. Be aware of what you do every moment. Usually you get into cats video because because of social media stream and you will be busy for two hours.

-To do work is hard, even if you like it, still it might be hard. But when you think that after dark period there is a happy playground awaiting this should help you to keep focus. Every step will be easier than the first one.

-Plan. But do not make too much plans, because you will fail in all of them. Plan carefully and logically. For example, I will do today one brand book a day, I will finish it till 20:00. If you want to fly somewhere and learn how to surf, buy a ticket and you will be forced to prepare for your journey and to watch tips for surfers. But do not make huge plans for one day, it will fail. Planning is an art, master it.

-Be slow. Being fast leads to nowhere, just brings you to the feeling of anxiety. For example my day starts with sport session, breakfast, dishes and then I go to work, but sometimes I feel an urge to skip something from it to make it later or even worse to multitask (cleaning dishes while doing sports). Everything then is out of order. Nope. There are no excuses. Be slow, be in line with what you do at that moment, because it will become good habit later. When you will know the time for your activity it will be easier to make good discipline.

-Try more tips like post it notes, alarm clocks, invite panic monster ( Tim Urban visualisation of panic ), publishing in public space some deadlines so others who follow you will wait for your design, song or book.

-Do little by little. If you will grab a whole part in one day, it will lack quality. For example this blog is a very good training for me, I try to write at least three posts in a week, but not in one day ( i did once 8 posts a day). This decision to write my steps commits me to read more, to remember what I read, and to repeat my lessons over and over. One small decision changed my life in many aspects. A good example writer Antony Trollope, who used 15 minutes to write 250 words for three hours and he is one of the most productive writers today.  

-Be steady. Acknowledge that process is long, you can’t get things fast without work. There are periods and be aware of them.

-Avoid distractions. Turn off the phone, internet. Or block it for some hours with specific programs. But social media is not your time friend. I try to switch my Facebook more often. And asks clients to write me an email instead FB.

So that’s it. The discipline and mindful routine is the key to a happy playground.  If you want to know more about procrastination concept, check out blogger Tim Urban and go this link and this one. Remember your time is limited, use it wisely. Don’t let any kind of time thieves to use it :)

[1000tigersteps]

Oh boy, I really love this topic, because I can speak from my direct experience. My best and worst part is the inner child. The most creative and destructive behaviour source. So what is it? Is it even real? Yes it is. Everyone has it, even if they try to suppress it. It’s a childlike perspective which comes with complexes from the childhood and has very strong creativity and wonder power.

In fact many adults today are not so adults at all. As our body ages, psychologically we can be stuck in our child mind, speaking from negative aspect. As Stephen A. Diamond Ph.D says:

“True adulthood hinges on acknowledging, accepting, and taking responsibility for loving and parenting one's own inner child. For most adults, this never happens. Instead, their inner child has been denied, neglected, disparaged, abandoned or rejected.”

 We all know in psychology every step starts from accepting and being aware of your mind. So this rules applies to it too.

Your inner child is responsible for joy, awe, wonder, playfulness, sensitivity, innocence, creativity but also holds many traumas from childhood, like feeling alone, small, insecure, afraid, lost, fragile. We were taught to grow up and leave our childish behaviour behind instead of parenting and communicating with it. While it needs authentic adulthood, accepting the painful childhood, having proper communication and taking care of its needs. You should give limits, discipline, boundaries, structure, learning, nurturance and acceptance. Otherwise your future will remain controlled by this unconscious inner child, with all the traumas you had. We should not as adults now expect others to meet these unfulfilled childhood needs.  So please, be gentle to inner child, prepare it for new brave world, be patient, kind and honest. And you will be surprised how light and free you will feel, how the fears will fade away little by little, letting love and creativity take the place.

You can try to do a test to know a type of your inner child, as for me it was 100 percent straight to the point. My child is shy, indecisive and a bit submissive. It takes refuge in daydreams about the future which are often quite fantastical. As it behaves really well with others, it leads saying too many YES when I mean NO and letting others to control my life. I lacked the force and confidence to make my dreams come true, because of the fear to let others down letting. I am happy now that I worked so hard to be brave enough to make my vision to come true. It was a hard path and I am looking forward for new lessons and adventures. All I can wish to many people just to stop ignoring their inner child and start to work with it. It will repay you later. I promise.

#innerchild #love #psychology #child #parenting

[1000tigersteps]

We all meet tough situations in our life. Those situations are so hard to overcome because of your mental unreadiness. It is easier to imagine everything in a game platform where your skills are in 11 level and your situation requires 22 level skills. You might have a bit of luck to beat it, but more likely you will not overcome it, what means you have to level up yourself in most needed parts to become 22. In these hard times you wish you met an old smart guy in a bar, who will pour his wisdom from endless jar while drinking beer and will clear your path. But what is the most sad part, that even if you will hear good advice, you still take it as 11 level. 

I gave many advises to my friends and many friends gave them to me. But it is like 5% possibility for using it with wisdom. That’s why people making the same mistakes. I wish, that this Hunter S. Thompson letter reached my hands earlier, but maybe I could not understand as needed anyways.

If you want a really good advice with no pressure or dogmatic perspective, with clear and honest wisdom, so this is a letter to read. I promise, it will be the best 7 minutes invested in your life. ♥♥♥♥   22 years old Hunter S. Thompson letter to his friend   ♥♥♥♥

p.s. If you wonder who was Hunter S. Thompson, so he was that crazy guy who wrote Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas rooted in autobiographical incidents. Also he invented gonzo journalism. And finally he asked his friend John Depp to shoot his ashes after death with fireworks. Definitely lived his life as he wanted till the last moment.

[1000tigersteps]

Recently, I got Tobias Van Schneider newsletter about The Ringlemann effect. It was really foundational insight why people get less productive when they are in large groups. I guess we all experienced that in one way or another, when taking a part in large scale meeting and being active looks like interrupting the work, so you become shy, or a slacker while seeing others still will do the whole work anyway. In other terms:

The Ringelmann effect occurs when individual performance begins to diminish as the size of the team increases. This phenomena can also be known as “social loafing.

That’s why really effective and creative agencies decide to stay small in people’s number. Because they know that is better to have control of work quality, workers motivation and productivity. This is why one freelancer sometimes makes better works than in agency. Because you feel bigger responsibility and can’t say “oh… let the others work more, I will work less”. If you think like that I guess you lack motivation and it is time to change something.

For working groups it is popular to have two pizza rule, where 5-9 people group is the limit. This is the most effective number. 

I will give you some small research stats to see how it works. In 1960  Derek De Solla Price analysed productivity in business. For example, startup business with 9 people, and 50% productivity came up from 3 people, and in Microsoft from 95,000  - 50% productivity came up from 308 people And as you see people in larger groups exponentially does less work.

So my point is to be aware of this effect and automatic behaviour of social loafing. Because, you are not giving yourself a hand,  later you will see that others took places before you, and nobody even cares about your ideas, because to slacked all the moments. As you know all your actions recall later.

Be smart, be active and be motivated. If you are not, find why, change something, change an environment, read, look, talk, travel. :)

This link is a good article why Sagmeister & Walsh decided to stay small.

#ringelmann #effect

[1000tigersteps]

Shortly this is known as an emotional outburst typically expressed with crying, screaming, anger ranting, defiance or stubborn behaviour. Usually it comes when a person can’t handle emotions and lacks self-control. Usually it associates with toddlers screaming on the ground. But it’s a part of their growing development, however it can become totally out of control. With children there are three stages: screaming (anger), physical action like kicking or pushing, and whining (sadness). Tantrum has a rhythm and has correlation with other interactions for how long it will last. But what is more interesting that adults still can have prolonged tantrum effect which is a signal of person immaturity or some mental problem, however it can also come from very extreme stress.

For adult people the best way to get over it, is to learn self-control techniques usually connected with anger, fear, narcissism. And for children there are vast techniques to understand why tantrum appear. Usually it is because of parents being too angry, so kids absorb those emotions and do not know how to deal with them, or they are having something in their environment who triggers them for tantrums as new expression form.

I can remember myself  having really big tantrums when I was really little, going out from kindergarten was something  that caused anger and fury despite the fact that I was dreamy and calm child. After research with my parents it was possible influence by some kids in the class who showed big tantrums and I took it as a form of expression. 

#tantrum #1000tigersteps #expression #children #crying #sadness #effect #narcissism #ego

[1000tigersteps]

You can read words written thousands years ago and still have no clue what they mean, even if you feel that you do.

There are many written mystic stories, legends, religious texts which is hard to understand due our modern interpretation. A few days ago I came across to an interesting topic about Zen devil. I am not a religious person, but this topic was like an ancient wisdom explained in a modern language.

If you meditate you have to be aware that there are dangers across, not only calmness or enlightenment.

From meditation can come hallucinations, negative emotions, that’s why some people with short connection with reality loses their mind. Zen devil is one of those dangers. The term (originally sounded as Zen Temma) came from Japanese Zen school. It means the one who has only experience without intellectual understanding. And without knowledge even enlightened people can become evil, arrogant, wishful for power and destruction. Even if they understand that everything it is just an illusion, they “choose” to co-exist with a dark side. Also there is an opposite term to Zen devil, a wild fox Zen or yako-zen which means an intellectual understanding without practice. Which is also bad. It is ideal to walk between those sides and take practise with knowledge. One of the best examples about this phenomena is a historical event called a Siege of Mount Hiei where dozens of people died, women raped and temples burned to the ground. This event influenced by enlightened monks, who turned into Zen devils. I will leave you links down bellow if you want to know more.

I just want to mark an insight, that no matter how good, right or enlightened you feel, it does not give you the right to become arrogant, angry or despotic person. I guess many of us have met people whom look smart, open-minded and still act cruel and furious. We can’t say that only stupidity comes with dark decisions, intellectual people can become dark driven too. And it's because they did not acknowledge the danger that might happen in their way. Or didn't work with they imprinted mind, what leads to such a paradoxes as enlightened racist or homophobe.

I will leave with one last thought. Have you ever read a book, or went to seminar, did something where you gain new knowledge, and at that very moment if you meet less intellectual person, the feeling of power might appear, like he or she are from lower level. This is the path of Zen devil. The illusion of master, absolute knowledge and complete power against others. 

The most similar feeling to this concept is Star wars saga. It really talks about jedi as monks who meditate, doing all the force practise. About fear ( or other dark thoughts) which leads you to the dark side ( Zen devil). G. Lucas took many influence from east culture while creating this sci-fi story ( for example lord Vader armour design ). This is the best visual saga for you to get the best feeling without digging to much.

If the devil isn’t trying to trip you up, it means he already got you - Baylor Barbee

If you want know more check this link  , and this one, and you might read about Zen school

[1000tigersteps]

Child: How do I find myself and the light?

Blind man: By taking the path that leads to the truth.

Child: Will you help me to walk the path?                                                       

Blind man: You must walk that path yourself.

There are things that can’t be seen with open eyes. Just close you eyes and follow yours intuition. It will lead you to the truth.

Listen of my playlist dedicated to my 11 topics.

#playlist #music #awakening

[1000tigersteps]

Monkey mind came from buddhism described as a constant mind chatter. In modern psychology it can referred as critical inner voice, super ego, ego, id in one hand. But monkey mind is a bit more complex, because it combines everything you do, reminding and distracting constantly. I will share most common things monkey mind discuss:

Your mind reading off a laundry list of to-do items.

Your mind listing its fears, both real and imaginary.

Your mind recalling hurtful things that have happened in the past.

Your mind judging the present.

Your mind creating catastrophic “what-if” scenarios of the future.

The problem of monkey mind that it never allows you to enjoy the present, so you get anxious, always living on future plans, to-do items. I have very active monkey mind and it is responsible for most of my bad sectors of life. It was so noisy that I couldn’t focus on any simple task. So if you want to have better sleep, to focus more, clear your mind and simply be happier in this present moment, you should do some homework constantly. I am doing it and it helps. Here are some homework to do:

-Know your monkey mind can be tamed.

-Talk with you monkey mind. Ask what bothers it and how you can help. Maybe just simply making a to-do list in order not to forget something. Or it might constantly remind your past mistakes. Make a plan, how you can fix it. Or thinking too much about the future, just simply make a plan, and do not bother will it work or not. But it will make your monkey mind less active.

-Do some journeying. Listen what your monkey mind wants to say and write it. It’s better to make strict hour time daily.

-Meditate (I talked about it in post before)

-Practise A-B-C technique. Monkey mind is very good in interpretation. So A is for active event, what happens now, B is for belief, what will happen, and C for consequences, what will be later on. So simply ask monkey mind about all these scenarios. Here I find as very good examples:

Are people really obligated to act at all times in the way in which I want them to act?///Is it realistic to believe that things must always go my way? ///Is it true that I have to perform well all the time?

-Stop assigning meaning. Just simply be, watch, observe. Don’t start to judge, criticise and label things.

-Play game of fives. When your monkey mind starts to chatter, simply find 5 things around you can be aware with. And your monkey mind will shut per se.

-Try piko-piko breathing. While inhaling in concentrate on your head crown, and while exhaling focus on your navel. Do it a few times.

-Engage your mind. Find activity which totally takes you in. Read a book or play a basketball.

A lot of the time, monkey mind caused by your thoughts disagreeing with what’s going on. That is, there’s a contrast between your thoughts and your surroundings. When the present moment doesn’t align with what your monkey mind wants, your monkey mind begins to spit and howl.

For more suggestion check this link.

#monkeymind #psychology #buddhism #1000tigersteps

[1000tigersteps]

If you want to grow, you have to learn to listen and talk less. Meditation is essential for all people, especially who have very active monkey mind, like I do. I got so tired of it, that meditation was the only cure of constant mental chatter.

There are inspiring words I want to share from music artist Nomine song Blindman:

Child:You can not see of all things. To live in darkness must be the worse.

Blind man:Fear is the only darkness. You think I can not see what do you hear?

Child:I hear the water, I hear the birds.

Blind man: Do you hear your own heartbeat?

Child: No. Old man how is it, that you hear these things?

Blind man: Young man, how is it you do not?

Meditation is necessary for awareness, concentration, focus, calmness. To hear your own heartbeat.To learn to listen and to see.

There are vast techniques you can use for meditation. I will share the one I use and I like it because it is not oriented into any divine personality.

-Sit comfortably on the ground, I prefer in the morning after sport. Close your eyes and start to breath deeply. With every breath relax your muscles and get aware how you feel after every oxygen circulation.

-Secondly, mind starts to wonder around, be aware what it's thinking about and I name it in your mind. For example “ I am aware I am thinking about my job”, “I am aware I am thinking that my sweater is itchy” and so on. Do not force it, name only those thoughts which comes naturally, if you have none, than focus on breathing. And take this procedure as long as you want, the more you can do it, the more benefit it will bring you later on. I also practise meditation on public areas. Sometimes I have panic attacks and it is the best way to deal with it. Simply getting into fast meditation mode of breathing.

There is another one similar to this, to focus in a moment of being. Just being aware about yourself in that particular second: how your blood flows, how you hairs stands, how your stomach works, how the air flows around you and so on. Simply being aware of things you usually are not aware. I like this one, because it helps me to feel life and being itself more, because we can’t feel that when our monkey mind is always distracted by many things that are not important after all.

Meditation is like brain training, you learn how to control your thoughts, embrace concentration, unleash calmness, it helps to reduce procrastination. So why not to try now?

You can read more in this link. Or google for more techniques.

Also if you want check my meditation playlist on spotify:

#meditation 1000tigersteps concentration being psychology