youtubespeaks

[youtubespeaks]

We’re teaming up with @uplifttogether for another Positive Fandom panel at GeekyCon this summer!

We believe that voices from everywhere in the community should be represented in these discussions, so we’re looking for two fan representatives to join us on the panel. If you’re interested, please fill out this form to tell us a little bit about yourself, your fan experience, and your views on fandom.

#reblogged by tori #uplift #geekycon

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If you are not a survivor of sexual assault, we hope that this offers you a new perspective on something that affects people all around you. We hope that next time you hear a story like this (statistically, you will), you will listen, and you will allow that story to start a conversation about what can be done to support and help the person who has been hurt. If you are a survivor of sexual assault, we want you to know that you are not alone. We want you to know that we believe you. You did nothing to deserve this. This is not your fault.

Click HERE to learn more about Teen Vogue’s #NotYourFault campaign.

#assault / #abuse / #rape culture /

[youtubespeaks]

What are you doing right now? Joining us for our #UpliftOutLoud live event? Join us now! 

#reblogged by tori #come on through!!!!!!

[youtubespeaks]

Hello! Are you joining us for Uplift Out Loud today at 1pm ET? We hope that you will join us to hear performances, stories, and testimonials. 

Do you want to share your story or testimonial but don’t want to be named? Send us an anon message and we may be able to read it live without identifying you at all. Please share your story if you are comfortable doing so! There’s power in your voice. 

#signal boost #reblogged by tori

[youtubespeaks]

On April 23, at 1 pm ET, to recognize Sexual Assault Awareness Month, Uplift will host our first annual live event: Uplift Out Loud.

What is Uplift Out Loud?

It’s a day of empowerment and solidarity, where the members of the community can stand united in our shared passion to stop sexual violence. Advocates, speakers and performers from all walks of life will lend their unique voices to this event.

Much like our established projects, this event will be integral in sustaining the conversation surrounding sexual violence in online communities. And we need your help.

If you are a sexual assault survivor and are comfortable speaking about your experience we invite you to join us to share your story as we host an online vigil and a unifying rally. We want to work together to help make our community safer. If you are interested, shoot us a message at [email protected].

#signal boost #assault / #uplift

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READ THIS BOOK ON SCARLETEEN.COM FOR FREE!

Not On My Watch is a bystander training handbook to prevent sexual violence. It includes detailed information on consent, how to respond to inappropriate comments, specific strategies to intervene in bad situations, and what you can do if you suspect your friend is in an abusive relationship. This book is designed with college campus communities in mind, and strives to take a forward approach to encouraging bystanders to step forward to keep themselves and the people around them safe.

Download E-book for free here.

Print copies of Not On My Watch available here.

#resource #bystander training

[youtubespeaks]

for survivors and victims during sexual assault awareness month: you are allowed to feel. you are allowed to avoid the news. you do not have to expose yourself to headlines and vitriol to be a good activist. take time off. let yourself rest. be kind to yourself first.

[youtubespeaks]

Going Public About Abuse by a Public Figure FAQ

Why make private/personal relationships between two people a public matter?  If one of those two people is a public figure profiting off fans who idolize and monetarily support a falsely constructed public persona, that person’s unethical private/personal conduct is absolutely a public matter. 

Why not go to the police instead of taking it to social media? Rape culture ensures that the legal system is overwhelmingly stacked against victims of sexual assault and abuse. Women who do report face re-traumatization and 98% of rapists will never spend a day in jail. When a woman is raped by a man she is dating/in love with/has already willingly slept with, her chances of a conviction are practically null. By publicly disclosing her experiences, a survivor who has been or would be failed by the legal system can still see some measure of justice and catharsis by regaining control over her narrative, warning others against her abuser, ensuring he no longer controls her by fear or is able to take advantage of her silence, helping to change the culture by speaking out and refusing to be ashamed, and finding support from others who believe her story.

What if she just wants attention? Search her name - the name of any abuse survivor who has recently identified her famous abuser - on social media right now. Wade through the hundreds, if not thousands, of posts calling her a delusional scheming slutty stupid ugly pathetic overdramatic crazy bitch liar, scrutinizing her every word, shaming and speculating on her sexual history, mocking or dissecting the most painful experiences of her life, supporting her abuser, and telling her they think she’s lying to get attention. That’s not the kind of attention anyone wants. The only kind of attention an abuse survivor who goes public about her abuse by a public figure is actually seeking is the attention of others to the seriousness and prevalence of abuse by public figures whose false personas hide and enable their abuse. She is risking her emotional well-being and in many cases her own career and reputation in order to draw attention to wrongdoing. Don’t trivialize that.

Why should I believe her when he hasn’t been convicted in court? The likelihood of a woman lying about rape is less than 2% and one in every five women is raped during her lifetime - statistically, it would be idiotic to do otherwise. Regardless, the court of public opinion is not a court of law - you’re not a juror on a criminal jury beholden to the legal technicalities and loopholes that allow most rapists to walk free. Morally, you side with the abuser if you remain neutral in a situation of abuse. If you choose to error on the side of supporting abusers rather than supporting those they abused (because let’s not forget that almost every high-profile abuse accusation is corroborated by multiple women), ask yourself why, and really, really think about it. If you place more value on the reputation of one powerful man than the physical and psychological welfare of multiple women, you have some serious soul-searching to do. 

Why should I care about someone else’s relationship drama? Trauma isn’t drama. Abuse isn’t a trivial scandal - it’s a profound violation of another person that can affect that person for the rest of her life. Have some empathy and compassion for your fellow human beings. It’s easy to stay silent in a culture of silence and doing the right thing is much more difficult than doing nothing. Be principled and find the moral courage to take a stand against abuse - even if (especially if) the abuser is someone you were friends with or a fan of. 

#resource #rape culture #victim blaming /

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what happened to yts?

hi all –

this post is LONG overdue, but transparency was and remains really important to me (tori) so here it is, a year later.

the long and short of it is that doing this kind of work is draining. important and necessary, but yeah, sometimes draining to the point of being dehabilitating. i can’t speak for the rest of the yts team, but i found that i really just needed to take a step back from everything – with the understanding and knowledge that my ability to even make that choice is a privilege. 

a few months ago, i started working with @uplifttogether, and they’re a team of really great people. i don’t want yts to stay dormant forever but, in the meantime, this blog can serve as both an archive and a signal-boosting platform.

if you have ideas about the future of yts, or constructive criticism for what you felt did and didn’t work when we were active, our askbox is still open. i’m also willing to give out my personal tumblr, but only to folks who ask non-anonymously. 

hope you all are doing okay. <3

– tori

#youtube speaks #yts #by tori #mod post

[youtubespeaks]

Remember his assistant, Clare, who mysteriously stopped working with him? Add this to the pile of evidence. Do not support this guy. Please.

#toby turner #tobuscus #clare lourdes

[youtubespeaks]

The truth about Tobuscus

:::TRIGGER WARNING::: abuse, rape, drugs, pretty much everything terrible

Before I start, I want to say that this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. I understand that I am setting myself up to be attacked in more ways than has already been done to me. People may accuse me of lying and may try any tactic to protect him because they don’t know who he truly is. I will have to take the heat for being the first person to openly come out about this, though I am NOT the only one who has experienced the abuse from him. There are soooo sooo many of us. I know of some, I’m friends with some, and I’m without a doubt sure there are some I don’t even know about. It’s not my place to tell their stories. I can really only tell mine.

Throughout the five years of knowing him, I have been mentally and physically abused… by Toby Turner.

I first met Toby when I was working at E3 in June 2011. I had flown there from Georgia and he was doing a hosting gig. He added me on facebook and as I was returning home, eventually my number. We texted almost daily and Facetimed with each other. He kept telling me that I should move there and that he needed a female host for his new gaming show, so a month after E3 I had bought a new car and packed my stuff for LA. I didn’t know at the time but that would be the one of many broken promises.

-I was writing way too many details when I realized that I have WAY too many things to tell that happened in five years. So I’ll cut out the small stuff. I was being cheated on since day one. He would fluctuate between telling me we weren’t together, to saying we were. Once I started finding the evidence of other women, he would fluctuate between admitting he was cheating, then to saying he told me he didn’t want anything serious. Every time I would try to leave, he would tempt me with saying he was ready to come out about dating me now. He would say he was just worried about what the fans would say to me and all the hate I would get. But he never cared about that. When he started dating Olga, we were still dating. He told me that they weren’t real and it was just a show for subscribers and views. At the beginning I actually believed that. Then my gut feeling was going off like crazy and I realized I was just being weak. I stopped seeing him and started seeing someone else. Of course I kept getting texts that he missed me and that I was the one he wanted. Once I stopped seeing the other guy, we went right back to dating. On and off just as I now know was coinciding with Olga and his breakups. Or maybe the breakups were lies. Who really knows. I know this makes me look really dumb, but you have to understand how he makes women feel. It felt like a drug. I would try to date other people and I was so stuck and in love with him that no one ever compared. But I notice now how I was also being manipulated and forced. He thought it was a game to keep going when I would say No. He would grab me and try to tear my pants off and I would say No and pull them back up. So forcefully that they would tear. I still have my pants folded in the drawer that have ripped belt loops and holes in the crotch from him trying to tear his way in. I even headbutted him once bc I was starting to see another guy and did not want to be physical with him. But I was so scared of losing him that I would just let him win and have his way with me. He would call me his girlfriend, then if he found out I told someone I was dating him he would accuse me of trying to ruin his career and insult me.

2013 was when the drugs really started. I’m not going to get into too much detail with that, but this was when the abuse started getting very violent. By this time I was conditioned to always make sure he was happy and I had so many panic attacks and anxiety when I was with him because I never wanted to upset him. We were writing most of his parodies and songs together and then fighting when the “high” would start to fade. Everything was a bipolar mess. There was an incident where we met up for dinner (his classic line “wanna eat?”) and he was on drugs of course. I told him not to park in the 30min parking spot. He was immune to all rules in his mind (“im a god”) so he left it. Our conversation at dinner turned toxic. He said some girl was aborting his baby, I said years ago I had a miscarriage but would have had it. This caused him to get angry that I would have kept the kid. He called me stupid, a faggot, among other things. (FYI to this day he STILL calls me a faggot. He uses that term all the time and calls me names even when he is being “nice”) So I am upset and trying to stand up for myself but only making it worse. I’m sure I cried at some point. I was always crying. We leave the restaurant and low and behold, his Range Rover got towed. He is yelling and mad. We get a uber(taxi?) and go back to his place. By this time I am absolutely terrified and just trying to not make him more upset. He started punching things in the kitchen. He kicks his stove and I get out of the way as he punches the pantry door. It has a big giant crack in it. (He later covered it with a chinese new year calendar and made jokes on vlogs saying “how did this get here?”) I’m crying and he’s blaming me for stuff, and then I go and sit down on the beanbag chair he has in the living room. He starts screaming at me to get the fuck out of his house. I’m balling and crying and asking him why he is doing this to me and he is screaming at the top of his lungs that he hates me and to get the fuck out of his house and that he’ll call the cops. He grabs his phone and saying he’s calling the cops and I’m just crying and crying. He screams and asks me “did you hear what I said you stupid fucking dumb blonde?!” (he would always tell me he hated blonde hair) and so I stand up to leave. I’m hysterical and get in my car and I speed off to drive away and he jumps out in front of my car. Immediately saying imsorryimsorryimsorrycmere cmere… I’m crying and I stop the car and he pulls me into the house. I’m nothing but a hyperventilating crying mess and I’m having a panic attack and shaking, when he starts taking off my pants and saying shhhhhh. He sets me down on the end of the bed and starts having sex with me. The entire time I’m crying and mumbling for him to stop but he keeps saying shhh. After he’s finished, he pulls my pants back on and I turn to my side and keep crying. I honestly don’t remember if he cuddled me after. Maybe he did. Once again I was psychologically damaged and stuck around. I even dyed my hair brunette to please him. We spent valentines together. At this point I knew I had to find a way to get over him. I just didn’t know how. He was turned on every time I cried and he was always mean and insulting to me, so this was the pattern. Friends tried to intervene and I actually lost a few because I kept going back to him and they thought I was weak and an idiot. I was. I finally mustered the strength and told him we should be just friends.

Feb 26th, 2013. I came over to help him with something, I’m not sure what. My friend Alissa was having a party I wanted to go to and he kept telling me not to leave. I told him I had to go. He was being flirty and cute. I was conditioned to enjoy the tension and “game.” But I told him I was going. He asked if I would take a shot with him. Just one before I left. Yes, I know I should not have even said yes and taken a shot before driving. I am aware. But you have to understand, at this time drugs were running rampant in this house and I was so exposed to drug and alcohol abuse that I was just used to it. I said ok and took a shot with him. Instantly I knew something was wrong. At first I thought it was shitty vodka. I even asked what vodka it was since it was the worst taste I ever had. Then I saw his face… and I realized I knew what that bitter taste was. I asked him if he had slipped something in my drink. ::insert cute grin with gryphon voice denying it:: I asked a bunch of times and he denied. But I already knew the answer. I also knew that the people who die from mdma/molly have always been mixing it with alcohol. That both of those together are a DEADLY mix. That Toby is a drug addict and that the amount of drugs he put in my drink are far more than I will EVER be capable of handling. I start crying and telling him he’s going to kill me. Why would he try to hurt me. That he is selfish and that I am going to die because of him. This somehow gives him a moment of clarity or maybe it was just the drugs taking effect, but he admits to putting it in my drink. He tells me it was only just a little bit and it must have still been on the glass from when he used it. Then he admits fully to doing it. He starts crying as well and admitting he is a sex addict and drug addict and needs to get help. I am SO FUCKED UP at this point that I honestly don’t remember what happened. Did we have sex? Did we only talk? I’m not sure. All I know is at some point he is passed out cuddling me on his beanbag chair and I’m just staring straight ahead wide awake with anxiety. I literally feel like I am being held hostage and kidnapped. I don’t know this man. I want to escape but I am so fucked up that I cant leave. Once I feel like I can maneuver a car (the next afternoon), I drive home. I really shouldn’t have drove but I needed to escape him. I come home and my roommates are in the kitchen. They would be so mad if they knew I was still talking to Toby after the blatant rape, so I tell them that someone at a bar drugged me. They tell me to go to the hospital and I say I just want to lay down. I go in my bed and just start sobbing. I was fucked up on this drug for 3 days. I regret never going to the hospital. I regret never going to the cops for what he did. I honestly thought about his career ruined and I didn’t want to hurt him bc I loved him. How messed up is that? He had just tried to kill me. I knew I was too weak to go to the hospital, but I made sure to text him what he did so I would have evidence. So I would at least have a text proof that he drugged me. So he couldn’t turn around and deny like he always did. Like he denies ever dating me now. What’s messed up is the text he gave me before I texted the proof. “'twas fun”. Yeah. FUN. I wish I could say I stopped talking to him after that. But we all know that’s not true. He said he would change his ways and I took him back again. March 2, 2013, I go in his bathroom and see a black thong and condom in his trashcan. He’s in the other room gaming, so I walk in there and grab him by the arm and he’s shocked, but I take him to the bathroom where I have put the items on the floor and I push his face down towards it. His response??? “what?”    'WHAT?!?’    “yeah what?…so?” and I’m livid. I say ‘Who the fuck is she?’ He tells me “It doesn’t matter. You’ll never meet her.” I really wanted to destroy and break everything in his house on the way out, but I just grab my stuff and go. Done. Except not, bc I’m an idiot and I stay friends. The last time I ever have sex with him is Memorial Day of 2013. This isn’t by choice of course. This is a violent hate fuck after he thinks I am flirting with Max Landis at his (Toby’s) bbq party. Then of course I find out he was hooking up with another girl from the same party who is also a friend. The list goes on and on. Mid to late 2013-  He finally has a relationship with someone else. (By this time, they are known as “mains” in my circle of friends that know the drill). So luckily I can say I never slept with him after that. But things still were messed up because he would always try to use me to masturbate. Either do it in front of me or try to grab my hand to do it for him. It’s disgusting and i’m embarrassed but it’s the truth so whatever. I became “just a friend” and I really thought things were looking up. We started doing songs together, even though I was helping him write them throughout this whole time. But NOW I was included and he was actually letting people know we were friends! Yay. Gag. I wont get into the lack of payment for anything I did, cause that’s a separate issue. But I knew I was being used. I was just so happy to be included! Yay. Gag. He always strung me along and would wave that carrot of songs or gaming to get me to come back. 2014- He tells me we will perform Depressing Song at Playlist. I’m super happy bc we wrote it together  and it was our “look how magic we are together” song. Once it gets close to Playlist time… he starts getting wishywashy like he always does. I ask him if we really are going to play the song because he never gives me a straight answer and he starts telling me he only has passes for Seth and Gabe and he doesn’t know. Then tells me he will only be doing standup. This is after I already have my flight and hotel. So now he all of a sudden doesn’t have a pass for me that he said he would have. So I decide to go anyways. My amazing friend gets me into playlist and I have a really good time even though I know the drill of if Toby sees me there, he will ignore me and I have to lie to fans and play along that he’s just sooooo awesome. He asks what I’m doing and I text him that I’m hanging with these other youtubers and he gets mad (and jealous) because I shorten their channel name and accuses me of acting too cool. I say they’re my friends and that’s just what I call them. He then texts a mutual friend and says something along the lines of, “April is on her high horse and I’m about to put her down.” The day of his performance, I tell another mutual friend that I just KNOW he’s going to play our song. She assures me he wouldn’t do that. I have Toby energy and we are super connected. I FEEL IT. I know he is. And he does… I’m going to admit to the internets, that I almost committed suicide. I was in the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. Worse than the cheating, the lying, the physical and mental abuse. I’m not sure why, but to deny me the very thing I created… to perform my song when it was my DREAM to be up there… That was worse than death. I was on a high balcony of my hotel, and the opportunity presented itself. Luckily I didn’t go through with it. I vowed not to talk to him. He didn’t get to use me in this new life. I spent all of 2014 getting constant texts from him. Some spamming, blaming, and attacking me, some saying he wanted to say sorry. Towards August I think, I started to respond. I have only seen him a few times since then. I saw him a few months ago in January at a friend’s birthday and though he was nice to me in person, he started flirting with my best friend and then was trying to text her to entice her to hang out with him. When I texted him to stop (bc hello we’re bffs and she’s gonna show me), the attacking verbal abuse was back again. He never changes. He’s still abusing and damaging women. There are women with stories similar to mine. He’s still playing his games of multiple girls at a time. Still asking hot chicks to game with him as a pick up line. I keep hoping maybe he has changed and I tried not to give the gory details to the women he tricks and fucks over. But I see he hasn’t. Two “mains” found out about each other just the other day.

Why did I tell such extreme detail of the worst parts of my life and about him? Because last night I was working and went to a Toys R Us and saw a Tobuscus toy in the isle. I started to cry and have a panic attack. I was supposed to be professional, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted to run up to the cashier and tell her that they are selling a drug addict rapist to children. They are selling a sexual predator and don’t even know it. But I know even if I did that, his toys would be out on the floor as soon as I left. Because people don’t now. Parents don’t know how terrible and toxic he is. How he hurts and destroys the best part of you. All they know is his funny voices and his characters. The back of the package called him a hero. I’m sorry but a hero doesn’t disrespect, abuse, rape, and drug women. He is not a hero. He is not a role model. He is a sick sick man.

#tobuscus #toby turner #abuse / #rape / #drugs / #reblogged by tori

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so i havent been on this blog in a while, but this just happened when i tweeted shane. if anyone was still convinced that his apology for doing blackface was sincere, let this destroy your last bit of faith. - james

im SCREAMING

#james #the moderator formerly known as jaz #shane dawson #reblogged #tweets

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Sam Pepper is back. I quit everything.

I mean with everything else that’s happening in the world I coulda done without being handed this extra piece of bad news but hey

But like, are you shocked? Are we still pretending to be surprised when one of these remorseless abusive borderline sociopathic wastes of space returns to the platform of their validation, when they still have hundreds of thousands of impressionable teenagers wrapped around their fingers? Least of all the ex-Big Brother contestant, who in my opinion was the catalyst that kicked off the alienating gap between creator and fan; I mean, we are kidding ourselves if we thought a parasite like that would ever stay away from the position that keeps him relevant.

I’m gonna re-link to the response I had when Ed came back, because the steps in it still apply: Don’t give him views, don’t support his friends, no second chances until the people he affected are satisfied.

These fuckers will keep poking their heads out when they think the coast is clear. Remind them it isn’t.

#sam pepper #abuse / #rape culture / #ableist slur / #eddplant / #ed blann / #reblogged by tori #queued

[youtubespeaks]

We need to talk about diversity on YouTube.

Gif by Elena Scotti for FUSION

I’m black. I’m a YouTuber. I was literally floored by the utter lack of articles regarding race and YouTube. There are huge dissertations and books written about how representation matters, especially in the media, and somehow YouTube just hasn’t come under the same scrutiny. While I have my own opinions about it, I decided to interview some YouTubers I admire who have different roles on the platform, and I think this piece is the most in-depth anyone has ever looked at what we promote when we promote only one kind of YouTuber.

I want to bust the issue wide open.

One of my favorite quotes in the piece was from a friend who wished to remain anonymous due to the fact that her YouTube and work lives are separate. Her job is figuring out ways to make traditionally white spaces more inclusive. She said,

“Diversity isn’t just opening the doors to all people, it’s going out into historically underserved, oppressed, and disadvantaged communities and saying ‘This space is for you, too.’”

Please read. Please share. This is important.

#smoothiefreak #racism #representation #vidcon #queued #by tori

[youtubespeaks]

#consent #rape culture / #abuse / #alcohol / #coercion / #reblogged by tori #queued

[youtubespeaks]

Be a good friend. When your friend leaves an abusive relationship, delete/unfollow/unfriend their abuser. Don’t give them anymore activity. When they leave, leave with them. Be their support system. You cannot be neutral when someone was abused. 

#rape culture / #abuse / #allyship #reblogged by tori #queued

[youtubespeaks]

Yes, a tiny number of people lie about being raped, but almost all rapists lie about raping.

Believing Victims Is the First Step to Stopping Rape - NYTimes.com

#rape / #rape culture #apologism #reblogged by tori #queued #abuse / #sexual abuse /