vampireapple

[vampireapple]

[vampireapple]

tumblr users booping everyone in range:

[vampireapple]

the only good innovation from facebook was the poke feature. tumblr needs the poke. when a cute girl is mass reblogging me and i don't wanna call them out to their face but i wanna go hey. i see you. being cute. rubbing your face on my blog like a cat. that's what the poke's for

[vampireapple]

No one was heard from Jason in a while so Dick sets to work tracking him down. It takes a while but he finally narrows down the safe house Jason is currently staying at. When he gets there, Dick finds Jason feeding a red haired girl and a younger black haired boy.

.... Since when was Jason a father!?

[vampireapple]

Tumblr is unique bc like. It's collaborative shitposting and you can't opt in or out. You can just say something about your day then an evil wizard shows up to turn your post into something humorous

Every other site is just one and done, but here a post is a welcome mat to be funnier than you

[vampireapple]

[vampireapple]

dr who’s on first, doctor strange is on second and doctor house is on third. theres no way theyre getting through a single inning

[vampireapple]

Its not the main focus of the fic, but this one has Tim analyzing his relationships with people. He actually makes an app to record and Analize his interactions with his parents (that happens about half way through the fic).

Again, not the focus, but its part of it, if you're interested.

idk how to explain this but I have a fic rec request where Tim analyses interactions/relationships/or even his vigilantism with graphs and stuff. like ‘Batman smiled at me 3% more than usual’ ‘according to my data if I hug Dick once a day he screams at Bruce less’ stuff like that? idk if that makes sense sorry im dumb

In this, kid Tim's a human dragon that decided to hoard the Waynes. Crack and fluff, cute all the way through. He decides to study his hoard to figure out how and what makes them happy, through statistics and stuff.

This is...a lot. Short, but fascinating. You've just gotta experience it for yourself.

[vampireapple]

A bird explaining to a hedgehog crossing so it doesn’t die.

[vampireapple]

Holy cow, I absolutely love this! The family dynamics, the good parental care from Jack and Maddie, Danny going like 'mine now' and of course Jazz is all in. Beautiful.

Now I want to write a story focusing on Jason getting adopted by the Fentons!

I just read this fic:

And can I say, I love the idea of Jason joining the Fenton family so much? Usually is otherwise, and I really like that, but they would be so good for each other.

He would fit so well with them, a family of bright, intelligent, people with feral overprotective tendencies and academic aspirations (no, Danny is not the exception, he wanted to be an astronaut). Jazz finally would have someone to nerd about non-ghost/technological things and he's a triumphant at the same level as her— a triumphant in a genius family.

Danny would have a Big brother who is happy to scare anyone he asks, help him with the superhero things one only can master (lol) through experience or a mentor's guide, and he can introduce him to the ghost culture. Besides, he would enjoy listening to Danny's space infodump.

Danielle and he would get along like a house on fire. He would carry her on his shoulders for fun but also so Ellie could look down on people she's being petty with. And they would exchange travel stories.

Last but not less important, Jack and Maddie could be excellent parents for Jason, especially post-resurrection. When he needs to feel safe and loved. And in a universe where Maddie and Jack turned pages and are doing better now— They're putting effort to be better parents because they love their kids— that's what he gets. Unconditional love.

He went for a lot of things and then when he was finally in a safe place, everything went down and he died. He woke up to a world that didn't change a single bit of those parts— those parts that hurt him and others that can't do anything but try to defend themselves and resist. And yet, it changed too much. The people he cares for and love were different, and he could accept that with time, but what was the point if they didn't would try to do the same for him?

Because from his point of view, they don't love him anymore or not in the same way he loves them. Not at the same amount either. And it hurts. Knowing that he's never going to be as loved as the others. That his dad prefers a fake memory of a son that he doesn't seem to remember well, an illusion, over him, a son that came back from death and cried for him even when he couldn't think. When he was a brainless zombie basically. It hurts him to know that, at his father's eyes, he worths nothing now. It hurts him every time he sees the scar in his throat.

It no surprises him when one day he wakes up feeling there's liquid fire destroying him from inside. He's having trouble to breathe and his head is screaming nothing and everything at once— Fortunately, he doesn't stay alone like that for too long.

At some moment his phone must have gone off because before he noticed it, he had it in his hand and a familiar voice was talking from the other side. For some miracle (or what Roy called his Jay-senses) Roy Harper decided to call him at whatever hour it was. They talked. What was happening? He didn't know. Is he injured? No. Is he in pain? "..." What did he need? Again, he didn't know.

For when Jason ended the call, they must have spent at least a hour on it. He vaguely remembers that the sky was still dark when he woke up and now the sun was— well, not out because it was Gotham, but it was somewhere up there.

Two hours later, Jason is driving out of Gotham, following Roy's advice. Who may not be a therapist but learned enough about mental health from Dinah to know what Jason needed. Space from the metaphorical knife in his heart. So he chose a random direction and started moving.

The next morning Jason finds himself in a town called Amity Park, Illinois, he thinks. He wasn't paying too much attention to anything that wasn't the road. Quite the opposite, actually. He was looking for a distraction.

At that exact moment, a green glowing blur collided five feet from him. Whoa, that was close. The green blur was followed by a flying... galaxy-themed child? Said child raised his hand and shouted a green beam to the crater where the green crashed.

Well, he was looking for a distraction, wasn't him? Maybe he should wait and see what's happening here. He doesn't know if the kid is a meta defending himself of a robot or just practicing his powers.

"Wao! Wao there kid! Watch the bike! I just painted it! Don't ruin my hard work like that". So, the green one was a person, not a thing. Good to know.

"Well, don't ruin MY hard work then, Johnny——", the glowing star child frowned, tilting his head. "Do you sense that? Is like—" he closed his eyes and turned around— And what kind of relationship do they have that he can do that with someone he was attacking just a seconds ago?— the green guy also did the same thing. It looked a bit funny. What were they even doing? Maybe they were searching something?

Well, he was never going to find out that spying on them like a stalker. That was more a thing of— yeah. No. Not that he was hidden, just in silence under the shadow of this big tree. So, yeah, nothing like him.

"Hey", he stepped out— and immediately got wrapped by a black whip thingy and pulled in front of the glowing people. The thing screeched. What was this?

"Shit. You're core is breaking bad man."

His what?

____

Then they carry him to Danny's home and Johnny goes for Frostbite while Danny explains him what a core is because dude looks so confused. Then he has to explain what a halfa is and boy, he didn't need another identity crisis.

Jazz arrives in the middle of this, sees his brother giving a Ghost Intensive Course resumed to a strange teenager on the sofa, and postpones her own crisis (because they ARE turning in her parents, damnit) to start damage control.

For when Frostbite comes with a core expert aside, the Fenton parents had already wrapped Jason like a burrito. Jack is seated on the next couch to him with a plate of cookies (from Tucker's dad btw), Maddie is placed beside Jason talking about his time at college, and the three Fenton children are coming down from preparing the guest room.

Turn out his core IS shattering because, for ghosts, that are partially made of it, emotions are highly important. So, experiences like abandonment or betrayal, for example, can cause damage to the core.

The feeling of burning was the energy of his core escaping through leaks. Frostbite tells them that if he hadn't got help now, he probably would have felt a sharp sudden pain in a few days and exploded. Jason almost choke on ecto-rade when he heard that, he was at the edge of his second death and would have been an explosion. Again.

He gets promptly distracted when the other yeti, a lady called Blizzard, inquires that the liquid sensation was probably a sign that he has a water affinity core, and proceeds to explain what core affinities are. He can't help but grin because that sounds just like he will be able to do water bending. What? He died at fifteen, he was allowed to act childish sometimes.

----

Anyways, that's all what I have so far. Feel free to add anything.

#danny phantom #batman #dp x batman

[vampireapple]

Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system

[vampireapple]

consider: modern AU hamlet doing soliloquies in the shower

#william shakespere #shakespeare #hamlet

[vampireapple]

growing up with a psychologist for a mother was so funny because my sister and i would be like “mo-om why do we have to go to bed now” and she would respond with a long explanation of the research on the effects of sleep on the brain and body followed by another explanation on permissive vs. authoritarian vs. authoritative parenting styles, with citations

[vampireapple]

(I wrote a follow up)

Sam was annoyed, suspicious and exasperated. It might be difficult for some people to be all three emotions at once, but Sam was a talented multi-tasker.

She was annoyed with her parents and Paulina. Her parents because they insisted she meet with two of the Wayne kids. Her parents were under the impression that Sam hit it off with the two middle Wayne boys and wanted her to further that connection. Paulina had also been invited, and she was Paulina, so ew. Of course she was annoyed with her.

Since she hadn’t spoken to any of the Waynes, ever, she was suspicious of them. Because she wasn’t stupid she knew it had something to do with the weirdo she paralyzed at the gala. She’d looked him up later after Paulina went on and on about what a loser he was. Apparently the wannabe clown was a psycho whack job who wouldn’t be missed. Hopefully, that meant these Gotham kids wouldn’t be antagonistic. If they were here to cause problems Sam was ready with her Skunk Juice gun.

Danny and Tucker had found out Sam and Paulina would be at the Nasty Burger and invited themselves along. They were doing the usual banter with Paulina, thankfully over the flirting. Still, Sam was so done with them. There was a chance they wouldn’t be there if she hadn’t chosen the Nasty Burger, but she wanted to see how the rich kids reacted to a greasy fast food joint. That would tell her a lot about them.

The four of them, really the entirely restaurant, noticed when the strangers walked in. The fact that they were strangers would have attracted attention regardless, but people wouldn’t have gawked. Everyone was staring at them because of what they were carrying. Each one was holding a giant teddy bear and a huge bouquet of flowers. The taller one’s bear had a black ribbon around its neck while the shorter one’s bear had a pink ribbon.

Both bouquets had seemed to be centered around colorful gladiolus and black eyed Susans with dwarf sunflowers, pink roses, yellow lilies, and yellow jasmine, and were decorated with thyme, sweet William, parsley, marjoram, edelweiss and a lot of dill.

Sam raised an eyebrow. Her mom and drilled the flower language into her and she had remembered it because it was a great way to insult people. The message from the bouquets was too specific to not be intentional.

The taller one, Jason Todd-Wayne, walked right up to Sam and handed her the bear with the black ribbon and the flowers. “Thank you.”

She awkwardly held the items, unsure where the depth of emotion was coming from. Danny was watching Jason intently, but not like he was a threat. Sam didn’t feel threatened either, so the meeting was off to an okay, if confusing, start.  

The other one, Tim Drake-Wayne, handed Paulina his bear and flowers. “We really appreciate the service you did for Gotham.”

“No pro-”

Paulina cut Sam off.

“We are happy to have helped! Thank you so much for the bear, it so squishy and I love it! The flowers are so pretty! They go with my outfit too!”

Sam tuned Paulina out, instead looking intently at Danny. Danny caught her meaning and smiled. These boys weren’t a threat then. But she knew that look in Danny’s eye. He was interested in Jason. Why, she didn’t know, but it would be okay.

As Paulina shifted all her attention to Jason, Tim moved closer to Sam. He spoke in a lowered voice so they wouldn’t be easily overheard.

“Seriously, thank you for what you did. You don’t have to worry about anyone else coming here to bother you.” He paused, thinking. “Well, anyone other than some of my other siblings. I made sure all the footage was erased, and we made a few rumors so that everyone thinks it was a Gothamite who did the deed.”

Sam wasn’t too convinced. “Why would you do that?”

Tim shrugged. “Like I said, I didn’t think you’d want people to bother you. You’re clearly smart and capable. We just wanted to come say ‘hi’ and ‘thank you’ to you both. Plus, any rich kid who decides to meet another rich kid in a fast food joint is worth knowing.”

Tucker spoke up. “You deleted security footage?”

The two got into a technical discussion.

Sam rolled her eyes then smiled at Danny. Looks like they had some new, out of town friends.

Ive. Had this one idea stuck in my head for WEEKS and i feel like you might get a kick out of it so!

The idea is that sam is basically forced to go to a gala in gotham and shes well aware of the crime rate so to protect herself what does she do? Obviously she has fenton technology but she knows if shes mugged itll be a little difficult to get discretely so what does she do? She uses a hideous bag her parents made her take thats suspiciously brick-sized and packs a little surprise! However, at the gala the joker attacks and makes the horrible mistake of turning his back on the one person crazier than a gothamite. Sam whacks him with her purse and takes him out before any of his like. Secret planted goons or whatever get the chance to reveal themselves and so theyre like FCK this job and everyones like. Kind of just waiting for police or batman or whatever to show up. Sam and any other amity parkers are just like. Fully going back to business even easier than some of the actual gothamites. When the cops or whatever get there sams neglects to inform them she put a FKING BRICK in her purse in case she got mugged so hes gonna need medical attention and shes gone by the time they realize oh fk the joker has a severe head injury and the joker dies. (Or doesnt, but its really funny to have mysterious outsider come in, one hit KO the big bad and then fking completely vanish bc amity is super hard to find.)

This got so much longer than i expected lol didnt realize my silly little idea of "sam packs a brick and slaughters the joker on accident" would be so complicated lol. if you or anyone have any suggestions to add that would be awesome! :]

Jason goes to find Sam to congratulate her in person. You know he would. They also 1000% start deep dive searching for anything and everything about Sam because this girl just killed the joker

#danny phantom #Batman #dp x batman #sam mason #tim drake #jason todd

[vampireapple]

Human crewmate: *drops a dish and it breaks* damn it.

Alien crewmate: Are you okay? Why did you drop that?

Human: I have an autoimmune disorder that affects my joints, and sometimes my hands are very painful and just give out and I drop things.

Alien crewmate: What is an 'autoimmune disorder?'

Human crewmate: You know how humans are hard to get sick with space illnesses? That's because of our immune systems, but sometimes our immune systems go haywire and attack our own bodies, making us sick and sometimes destroying parts of our body permanently.

Alien crewmate: You mean one of your adaptations that makes you basically unkillable can hurt you instead?? Your body attacks itself?!

Human crewmate: Yeah there's a lot of different types of autoimmune disorders, too. And they're constantly discovering more.

Alien crewmate: there's more than one way for your body to destroy itself?? What kind of a world is so violent that one's very body could attack oneself?

Human crewmate: yeah it sucks but what can you do? Doctors don't even really care. If you have a rare one they'll just tell you 'sometimes that happens' and not help you figure out which one it is.

Alien crewmate: what the fuck?! They just don't care about this massive malfunction of your biology?! I'm taking you to a Lixinian doctor. They take their oaths seriously.

Human crewmate: yeah if you say so.

[vampireapple]

Headcanon

Things Lois Lane does not envy Wonder Woman:

Her friendship with Superman. Lois knows that they’re close friends and nothing more, and that her own relationship with Clark is deep and pure.

Her power and respect. Wonder Woman has earned that and more.

Things Lois Lane does envy Wonder Woman:

That goddamn lasso

Why do you even need a truth lasso Diana

Think of all the stories she could get with that thing goddammit

[vampireapple]