valencing

[valencing]

Here's the first part of the Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen fic. Explicit. 4.8k words for the first part, 19k words all in.

I've finished the story and will be posting the rest of the parts in the near future. Ticking clock of the actual season threatening my imagined canon...

Last season, Daniel had turned the car into the wall to avoid hitting the McLaren; this year he wanted to point himself at traffic and accelerate, but not really, not really, he was the responsible one, he was the seasoned driver, he was reliable and steady, and it was all part of his inspo comeback journey, his comebo-j. He was going to be really, really, really good until everyone else had to admit it as well. Set a couple months in the future the current season, Daniel battles shoddy workmanship, Max's hallway cat, and the cold.

#fic rec #:D #f1

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how to care for orchids (let us never speak of ice cubes again)

i was chatting with @magicalrocketships about orchids and i said i'd make a guide to save her googling.

here's the tl;dr

these orchids i'm showing here, phalaenopsis/moth orchids, just the typical ones you see all over, are really easy to grow

all the stuff you've seen with people obsessing over humidity and temperature and other finicky care requirements are for different kinds of orchids

the reason why you find these ones all over is because they're chill plants. they just need light and water.

bright light

water approximately weekly

it's going to be fine

they'll probably rebloom once a year. they don't take up very much space. pretty much no downsides! would recommend.

so, as we get into it, just as a super quick recap, this is an orchid:

the green leaves and the silvery roots are the actual orchid. that's what makes up the plant; those are the things that you need to keep alive.

the flower is just the flower.

I say this because I see people saying their "orchid is dead" when it's just that the flowers are spent. in fact, many places will sell orchids for $5 or less when the flowers are dead, which is a) a great price and b) quite a fun surprise to see what the flowers will actually look like when it does bloom again.

okay, so you'll bring an orchid home, it will probably be in bloom, and those flowers will last either hardly any time (sorry, you bought one that was already mostly done, try for ones with more buds than flowers - like the photos i've shown above - if you want to likely lengthen the blooming period) or a few months. but for sure the flowers will eventually die. that will always happen. it doesn't mean anything has gone wrong. But now that you've got your orchid...

care considerations

light

orchids need bright, bright light and probably want to be directly on a window sill. they do not want to be in aesthetic locations (the interior of a room, displayed on a table, far away from natural light)

it's really complicated to talk about light but generally speaking it's a lot darker indoors than you realize. these orchids don't want direct light but for most of us... our homes don't actually get direct light, because we're facing (in northern hemisphere) north or east, or even west or south but maybe there's a tree or something else blocking out the light, or there's an overhang about the window, or whatever.

if you genuinely get direct light, you could grow it back a few feet, but otherwise put it as close to the window as it can get.

north facing or basement units or anywhere that doesn't get much natural light might need to supplement with a growlight to get flowers.

substrate/ "soil"

(almost all) orchids are epyphitic, which means in nature they do not grow on the ground but instead up on trees or rocks. this means they have strong roots that need a lot of air.

to replicate this in pots indoors, grow orchids in a substrate mix designed for orchids. just grab whatever. a big box store will likely only have one option; a garden center might have different kinds with various sizes of bark better suited to different types of orchids. honestly, don't worry about it, anything chunky will be fine. ...for these orchids specifically. other orchids exist only to challenge us. good fucking luck keeping most jewel orchids happy for longer than a year.

typical mix will have big chunks of bark (replicating the trees they grow on, hold some moisture, will break down over time), sphagnum moss (holds the most moisture but needs attention to rehydrate if it dries out too much, will break down and become more acidic over time), charcoal (air flow, antibacterial, does not hold water) and/or perlite or pumice or some other kinds of little rocks (air flow, does not hold water, prevents compaction as the organic materials break down).

if they have the plant glued with a bunch of rocks and fake decorative moss, it's probably best to remove all that (it's creating a sort of air tight crust which is the opposite of what you want.

pot

either in a plastic pot with holes in the sides that you put into a catch pot (something to catch the water run off) or a all-in-one pot. I currently have some of mine in terracotta orchid pots - which also also work quite well for growing hoyas.

the side holes are for airflow and water drainage

the worst pot would be one with no holes, like not even drainage at the bottom. you don't want it to be like a bowl that collects water and smothers the roots. at an absolute minimum, water needs to be able to flow out the bottom of the pot.

watering

so now that we've talked about the substrate and the pot, we can talk about watering

if you have the orchid in a super chunky mix AND

if it's in a pot designed for orchids with lots of vents for air exchange

THEN! it's extremely difficult to over water your orchid. you've already done all the right stuff! watering is going to be fine.

just water until you see it come out the pot, like fully saturate the substrate, and then dispose of any water that may be sitting in the bottom of the dish. you're done. great job!

when the roots in the pot (not the air ones that are waving around having a dance party) are green it means they're hydrated - do not water. when they're silver, they're thirsty and want to be watered. the roots hanging in the air are always silver.

it's better to under water an orchid than over water it

if you under water, the leaves will get more and more wrinkly. first it's like grooves in the leaves, like wrinkles, then deeper and deeper lines until it just literally looks dried out. even then you can bring it back.

honestly, it's surprising how much orchids can handle getting dried out except then you remember they're up on a tree so like, yes, obviously need to be able to handle not having a ton of water.

if you over water, the roots will rot. they'll turn brown and smushy. the leaves will go yellow and die. once over watered, you'll need to unpot, trim off all the rotten roots, and try again. I've tried this with rescue orchids from the plant store and i got one to come back but one didn't. you really need at least a few inches of roots that are still healthy.

anti-ice agenda

so like number one, there's nothing magical about the amount of water that's in two ice cubes that makes it the "correct" volume of water. how big are your ice cubes? how big is the orchid you're watering? how much sun is it getting? what time of year is it?

number two, orchids never hang out near melting ice caps irl so it's not like they want to have something that's literally freezing cold. if anything, they'd much prefer being watered with nice, gently warm water.

number three, the best thing you can do to care for literally any plant is pay attention to it. trying to "hack" plant care by following a prescribed routine will work some of the time under some conditions. but plants need more water when it's hotter and less water when it's darker. if you play attention to the plant, lift it up, feel how heavy the pot is. oh, it's still really heavy? probably saturated with water; no need for more. or vice versa. if you look at the leaves - are they getting wrinkled? or are they nice and plump? maybe the leaves have gotten a little dusty and it's time to wash off the plant in the sink. maybe you've got some pests you need to take care of. maybe what you thought was a new root is actually the start of a bloom stalk! how exciting.

the point is, it's 100% of the time going to be better to pay attention to your plant and respond based on what the plant is actually doing instead of trying to follow an internet hack

fertilizer & flowering

you can buy fertilizer for orchids (I sometimes use a diluted one as a foliar spray) but honestly it'll probably be fine and i wouldn't worry about that too much. maybe in year two or three. first year, they've for sure already pumped your orchid with fertilizers at the greenhouse. part of the first year is just letting the plant recover from what they did to it to prepare it for sale.

these orchids usually start making flowers in the winter (like december). the flowers start with something that looks like a root but is more green and then just keeps growing.

once the bloom stalk/flower spike appears, it takes a month or two or three for it to make buds and then flower.

i've heard that usually an orchid has to grow two+ new leaves before it will flower again. in my experience, i'd say that's true for the orchids that were new to my home. you'll almost definitely see new leaves and new roots grow before you get flowers.

will almost certainly take a whole year after bringing your orchid home to get new flowers; might take two.

you don't need to stake the flowers. they just do that for space-saving and aesthetic reasons. like it's fine to stake them. it's just not something the orchid requires.

once the flowers are done, cut the bare bloom stalk back to the first node and they often bloom again from the same bloom stalk.

the reason why it's good to do this is that it's more energy for the orchid to grow the flower spike from scratch, so by you're letting the plant be a lil lazier to just rebloom off the spike it already grew. lazier = more likely to happen :)

once i also had an orchid grow a kiki (bady orchid!) from the bloom stalk!!!

if you don't cut back the spent flower spikes it doesn't cause trouble but eventually they turn brown and look like dead sticks.

in conclusion, i think these are very fun plants to grow with a high reward to work ratio. of all the plants I have, this type of orchid is definitely in the easiest tier because they don't require much effort and are, broadly-speaking, forgiving of mistakes.

the source for this information is my brain after growing these for five years, so to fact check me, I guess you'll just have to try it yourself :)

#orchids #flowers

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My deepest darkest fantasy is that I collapse on the street and I am rushed to the hospital. They perform a bunch of tests and find out I am severely deficient in some kind of vitamin. Then I start taking the vitamin and I become the happiest cleverest person alive because all my problems were caused by this one deficiency

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William Nylander/Original Characters, William Nylander/Morgan Reilly | Explicit | 6,000 words

William grows up. Or, ten people William scened with and one person he didn’t.

BDSM-AU verse companion to this one, because I spent so much time thinking about Willy's backstory when I was writing the first one.

#YESSSSSSSS #fic rec #hockey

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#poetry

[valencing]

year end fic wrap up

[other years]

i actually wrote five stories this year, and then i've got four wips currently on the go, so... i'm back, baby!

Come Down, Come Back Ted Lasso, 2400 words, pre-Jamie/Keeley/Roy. Teen for canon typical content.

Box to Box Player Ted Lasso, 8600 words, Roy/Jamie, explicit for sexual content.

Remove the Cause but not the Symptom Ted Lasso, 4300 words, Roy/Jamie, mature for talk about sex and actual bondage.

Twist Me Something Good (Make It Strong Enough, Last Long Enough) Hockey RPF, 19,000 words, Morgan/William from the Leafs, extremely explicit kink and sexual content.

Five Nothing Hockey RPF, 5400 words, winners room with Brady, Matthew, and Timmy from the Senators and Panthers. Explicit violence.

five stories, 40,000 words (and another 16000 written in WIPs I'm actively working on). I'll put my musings about each story under a cut.

Ted Lasso

Come Down, Come Back 2.4k words of pre-OT3 post Mom City episode. Rated teen for pretty much canon-typical everything.

Honestly, worth every single moment watching Ted Lasso for the satisfaction I felt watching Mom City. Then I just sat down and wrote this mostly all in one go. This kind of single-stand-alone scene as character study is a really good writing exercise just to get words on a page, and the nice thing about fandom is that you can still post your stupid little writing warm ups.

Box to Box Player 8.6k words for Roy/Jamie about Roy's toxic masculinity, extremely explicit for (to quote a tag from someone who bookmarked this) Roy fucking like a god.

I think for fake person fic to be interesting to me, there has to be something that isn't already explicitly part of canon that's meaty to explore. In a way, we knew a fair amount about Roy, but also - we had super gruff, ready to fight Jamie in an instant, early season Roy and then we had the Softening of Roy Kent followed up absolute insanity where he started tying everyone's dicks together, and honestly love that for him, love that journey, loved the dick tying, like really cannot overstate how much I loved the dick tying. But Roy's past and general default state of GRUMP is extremely interesting, and how rude and often genuinely mean he was tended to be glossed over on the show (because we knew he'd do the right thing if he came down to it). For the story I was specifically trying to write, I ended up being really happy, at the time, with how this turned out. I actually read the first half of this (like before the porn starts) out loud and was thinking of posting it as podfic, which I have literally never done before and also didn't do this time, lol. And now I don't like the story as much as I did when I first finished it, so I'm glad I didn't post it.

Anyway, I don't even think this story is the peak in terms of capturing the roughness of Roy, and I'd love to read someone who knew more about the footy laddylad culture write the really realistic version of this.

Remove the Cause but not the Symptom 4.3k words of ... thematic? or like... transmuted? orgasm denial. On one hand, there's no literal orgasm denial in this story, but on the other hand no one has an orgasm, so.

To be super honest, the story behind this is that I went back and re-posted a bunch of super old fic on AO3 just for more-completionist reasons, and then in looking over the 90+ stories I'd written, I was really faced with the extremely obvious evidence that I write literally nothing other than orgasm denial. And then that realization (which, firstly, I've had lots of times before, this isn't actually new information, and secondly was only happening inside of MY OWN HEAD, like no one else said anything at all) made me feel extremely contrary and then I opened up a google doc and titled it Orgasm Denial Manifesto and wrote this story.

(... the number of things i've written spawning from an argument I'm having only with myself and entirely in my own head is... large.)

But, genuinely, writing fic is only for fun and i think that every single person, including myself, should just write whatever is the most enjoyable. like, it's fucking pornfiction, so might as well just lean in.

So I will tell you my main take away from 2023:

Every single story can have orgasm denial in it, if that's what you want. You just have to not be a fucking coward.

And I think I have very clearly taken my own words to heart, so you can trust me on this.

Hockey RPS

Twist Me Something Good (Make It Strong Enough, Last Long Enough) 19k words of extremely explicit kink and sex. Morgan Rielly/William Nylander AU-BDSM trope inversion where Morgan is the only dominant on the Leafs and he's really going through it.

So I was feeling done with Ted Lasso fandom but also back into writing fic again, and I went through my google docs graveyard to find more hockey RPF stories than I remembered. One that I've come back to so many times over FIVE ACTUAL HUMAN YEARS was an inversion of the typical alternate universe where everyone is a dom/sub by default. That trope typically/almost exclusively has subs being the minority, and it's usually a pov-submissive character who is extremely desperate to have their needs met but is usually either a) trying to repress their submissive side because society says they're Supposed To Be A Dominant and/or b) traumatized from past abusive treatment from a dom and/or c) internalized shame over not being a "proper" submissive, which typically means the person isn't into pain. It can be mix-and-match but lots of stories have all three of those things.

All those elements make up an incredibly juicy premise for excellent h/c fic and I've enjoyed a ton of things I've read like that!

But ... I don't think there's anything about the premise of all people being default dom/sub that would inherently lead to the above conditions? Like people who are dominant don't like horrifically abusing their subs in ways that the subs obviously DESPISE?????? the vibe of these stories is often that the default setting is that doms hate subs and like.... doms don't hate subs at all?????? Doms are extremely, extremely, extremely interested in people who are submissive. Like, what's a dom going to do without a sub? (well, as per Morgan in this story: just tie his own legs together and sadly think about how much better if would be if he could play with another person instead). 0

Anyway, I love stories with UST and pining and yearning (she types in her post on the yearning website), and I was AND STILL AM so interested in the idea of dominant-POV trope inversion. The idea for this story was mostly vibes, and I was originally going to write Zach Hyman POV where he's got a crush on Mitch, who is like really obviously the typical/traditional ideal of a sub, and then he was going to hook up with Mitch (it was going to be pretty good!), but then he was going to end up also appreciating the less-obvious presentation of William's submissiveness. IDK, Zach Hyman tries really really hard and I was going to let him scene his way around the team after he'd suffered for a while, lololol.

But then Zach got traded and a whole bunch of other people also got traded (RIP to what could have been with Kappie still on the team, he was going to feature prominently into the locker room shenanigans). I didn't have that much of the story actually written and spent some time figuring out the new story (with the same premise) that I wanted to write. I kept editing the first few thousand words, trying to figure out when information should be revealed and what the overall flow of the story was going to be, and then like pretty early in I got to the point where I knew exactly what the structure of the story was, like, EXACTLY, and then it was just a matter of sitting in front of the computer and typing it out. This was, by far, the most sucked into a story I've been in years and years. I felt obsessed with writing this and I wanted to be writing instead of doing anything else (as opposed to the usual where literally anything else seems better than writing lol).

I don't actually think this story worked as well for other people as it did for me (although there were definitely a couple of extremely generous comments from people who seemed to be into it, <3), and a lot of the sections that I guess I thought people would notice, but no one did (or no one said they did, anyway). I think it's an interesting equation in terms of how good you feel after writing a story, because usually the biggest part of it is how it's received, but there's also a huge factor of actual the writing experience. And, I guess, how much you yourself like the finished product. At the end of the day, it turns out I really did just write this story mostly for myself and the actual experience of writing it was as fun and "easy" and engaging as it could possibly be.

But it did end up being a pretty fandom-typical Getting Together Romance, and I have to admit there's a part of me that wants to go back and write more dom-POV yearning. I made everything SO NICE for all the characters in the story, I wrote such a long denouement, everyone got such soft landings. I'm really softening in my old age, which is probably nice for all of us and no one has sent me an angry message for hurting their feelings with a mean ending in YEARS, but still. The angst in the premise is prrretty good. Don't you think we could all still stand for some more dom-pov yearning????

Five Nothing 5.4k words of Winner's Room fuckery with Brady, Matthew, and Timmy. Explicit for violence and, like, the looming threat (promise?) of incest. This was a difficult story to tag for.

So after that absolutely incredible Panther/Sens game (truly the most interesting 5-0 game I've ever watched), it really seemed from the clips like when Matthew was threatening Brady's players, he was telling Brady "you chose, you chose", and like my god. I felt like a feral creature hunched over roadkill just chewing away on that.

(As it turned out, Matthew was probably just saying "sandy, you're dead", which tbh is still interesting with that horribly beatific smile of his. But, you know, not quite the same as telling his brother to choose which guy matthew hurts. oooh, doggy.)

The experience of writing this was the polar opposite of the last story, because I wrote this almost like chatfic, sharing it as I went with the server. I hadn't really planned on writing anything like that, but it was immensely fun to get that feeling of groupchat encouragement, and made me feel nostalgic for livejournal era fandom when people would so often cheerlead each other through fic writing.

The behind the scenes on this fic is that I was writing it chronologically (which is not usually how I write), and I was going to go to bed one night when I couldn't stop thinking about how long i'd left poor Timmy hanging there by his arms. So I wrote on my phone the bit where he gets let down, so then I didn't have to worry about Timmy still hanging up in the days it took me to finish the story.

But then! after I had posted the story, I had my final woodworking class (extremely fun to take woodworking, would highly recommend), and we were HAND SANDING FOR HOURS, and by the end of that day, my hands and arms and shoulders were so sore I literally couldn't do normal activities.

So that was probably karma.

Sorry I didn't write you more aftercare, Timmy, i just really needed Brady to experience maximum suffering by sending him off to visit with his family instead.

anyway, i think there will be at most three people who actually read all this (so if you did manage to scroll all the way down, hiiiii, you're great) but I do like having these post to look back on in future years, so I guess also hi to future Laura, who will probably come back one year and see this. how many of the wips did you actually manage to finish?

#laura my favorite gem here is you had to write timmy getting let down before you could sleep at night ;________; #WRITING PROCESS #ANALYSIS #fic #fic rec

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Just To See How That Felt | Brady Tkachuk/Matthew Tkachuk | explicit (hockey RPF) | 6,700 words 

Brady has an entire day alone with Matthew and a decision to make. Sequel to Five Nothing.

#this is brilliant!!! #hockey #fic rec

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How about 5,400 words of Brady supervising a winner’s room with Timmy and Matthew after the November 27th Panthers v Senator’s game?

“He’s not even supposed to get to choose because he’s got a game misconduct.”

#what if cain and abel were psycho sex freaks #hockey #fic rec

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hey there, can I interest you in 19,000 words of Morgan Rielly/William Nylander explicit kink?

Morgan had never pretended to be anything different, but it seemed like this was the first season that the Leafs' PR team remembered that he was a dom and it fucking sucked. There were only a handful of doms in the league, and Morgan felt yanked around as PR tried to find the right balance of, “Look at our nice dom, aren’t we open minded,” and “Don’t worry, we still understand what’s important to the heart and success of a team.” Morgan Rielly, the only dominant on the Leafs. AU-BDSM verse.

#fic rec #rmr when laura wrote subversive omegaverse 1D fic and there were multiple congressional inquiries about HOW DARE SHE? #i feel like this is in a way an extension of the same project of testing fic tropes #and by creating a deeply unfamiliar world reveal something about our own #i mean it's also a very sweet slow burn love story #so if you like that kinda thing-- #hockey

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Jamie/Roy | Mature | ~ 4,400 words

“Well, what’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done then?” Roy has something to teach Jamie about waiting and wanting. 

Content warnings for mild kink.

Thanks to @valencing for betaing!

#this is exquisite! #sexy & sweet & tantalizing #fic rec #ted lasso

[valencing]

Roy Kent/Jamie Tartt | extremely NC-17 | ~ 8.6K words

Had Roy actually thought Jamie would capitulate just because he’d asked? Afterward, knuckles bruised, smeared with Jamie’s sticky blood, it seemed so unlikely. But that meant that Roy would have to admit to himself that the fight had been what he was looking for all along. Roy and Jamie, mid-finale, featuring Roy’s toxic masculinity. (But he’s trying.)

This was inspired 50% by the line in the original script for the episode Rainbow (not included in the show) where Roy takes Isaac to the apartment block where he grew up and said "No. It's shit inside. Horrible place to grow up." And 50% by any number of interviews where Phil Dunster has gone on and on about his big bum.

With gratitude to @valencing for betaing.

#ted lasso #fic rec #you know that dynamic where A is like incredibly aggravated by B at all times #like oh my god how annoying and stupid and irritating and wrong B is constantly like they were put here on earth to torment A #and there's just one thing to do about it #SEX #i love that dynamic #this story is so hot and so imbued with character at every single stage of the hotness #im not sure if this is porn as character study #or character study as porn #but i know i like it!!!!

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nice to see u back even for a moment! hope things are going well for u <3

aw, this is so sweet, hello and thank you! :D

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on criticism in fandom

i was really surprised when i looked on my stats page of AO3 to see that i had posted over 450,000 words of fanfic. that's several novels worth of fic! i spent some time looking over what i had posted (a bit revealing, lol, might talk about that another day) and i realized that i'd only ever imported a very few of my bandom fics to AO3.

this whole time, i've felt like i wanted to avoid anything i wrote in bandom, just chalked it up to being embarrassed about my early writing in a normal way. but i thought about it for a little while and realized: it's not just normal feelings of having grown past being a very-beginner writer. i feel deeply and overwhelmingly ashamed when i think about bandom, because people were fucking horrible to me about my writing.

i had lots of kind fandom friends and certainly lots of very generous folks who left positive feedback, but my memory of that was completely overwhelmed by the amount of cruel and objectively bullying things that i saw people say about my writing, myself, the way i presented myself online. how every little thing i said was interpreted and how they perceived all of that manifesting in my writing.

the fact that most of it was anonymous made it worse. it really fucks with your brain to feel such animosity without any context. that's the power of anon memes. the person who posted whatever shit comment could have been someone i thought was annoying right back. if i had seen the post under their username, maybe i would have been able to rationalize their seeming hatred of me with context of past interactions we'd had. or it could have been someone i cared about and deeply respected. i'm quite sure that some amount of the people posting shit were people i thought i liked.

people on the anon meme would talk about how i looked, but i had only ever posted pictures of myself under friend lock, so i knew that some number of people on the anon meme were people i thought were friends. were they also the ones saying the mean shit? one night someone screencapped a friendlocked post and shared it. the person told me afterward that they had left their computer open at some fandom party and it was someone else who had put my post up. so then i also knew that people i thought were friends were sharing things that i didn't want shared with a larger group who for sure seemed to hate me. how humiliating to imagine a person who can't stand you going through your friend locked posts, seeing your photos, the personal posts, the vulnerable things you didn't want to share.

it's actually hard to really understand, now, how the majority view (or at least the majority view as I believe it) was that people were allowed to say anything they wanted, and if it hurt your feelings that was just your own fault for reading it. i was consumed with the shit people said about me. meme-talk is just jargon and i know it likely didn't mean much to the people posting it, but it's actually really fucking awful to see people say the want to come after you with a nailbat or that they hope you die in a fire. i would stay up all night feeling literally sick about the stuff i read. maybe some people can know they're being talked about and ignore it, but i was 21, deeply invested in fandom, and there wasn't a fucking chance that i could just not look.

i would have really appreciated someone saying this at the time, so i'm just going to say it now: it's not your fault if you're hurt by people saying nasty things. of course many of us feel compelled to see what people are saying about us; that doesn't mean it's our fault when our feelings get hurt. being a beginner writer or even an experienced writer who just isn't that good doesn't mean you deserve to be ridiculed. it's wonderful that you wrote a story. it's a gift that you posted it for other people to read.

other than the personal satisfaction that comes from the act of writing (limited, very limited; writing sucks), the only "reward" for writing fic is positive feedback. it truly baffles me that people can see fanfic, a wonderful thing that's created only from a place of love -- love of the canon, love of the fandom community, love of creating and writing and thinking and sharing -- and think: fuck that author, fuck their story, i need to make sure that they know what a terrible job i think they did. that goes from bookmark an author's story with "not recommended" to leaving rude comments (anonymously or not) to talking about fic in any public fannish space where the author can easily find it to just outright bullying the fuck out of someone on an anon meme.

i don't need to feel ashamed that a lot of the things i wrote (and write!) kind of sucked. the shame is with people who choose cruelty as their form of fannish participation.

so i uploaded a bunch more crappy old bandom fics. they're not things i enjoy rereading, but i didn't do anything wrong by writing them. now i have 570,000 words of fic on AO3 and that really is quite a lot.

#how dare anybody #god people are assholes #fic rec #bandom #one part of my friendship origin story with laura was her graciously allowing me to steal shamelessly from one of these fics

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OT3 (Jamie/Keeley/Roy), PG-13, 2,500 words.

Jamie Tartt is here, he’s there, he’s every fucking where. Immediately following Mom City.

You know how Jamie scored that goal, seemed happy for a breath, and then looked just absolutely destroyed as he was clearly trying to psych himself up to keep playing (before collapsing in on himself in relief when instead he was pulled)? I spent a super reasonable time watching that scene frame by frame and an even more reasonable amount of time watching the treatment room scene: "Right, what the fuck happened, man?" And then I wrote this story.

#THIS IS SO GOOD #fic rec #ted lasso

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wishing the very happiest birthday to @disarmd: great writer, miracle gardener, beautiful soul, and dearest friend!!!!

read & comment on her latest masterwork here! 

#disarmd #mythic quest

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do you have a link to that midnights post I can't find it

#jo march girls actually write novels and open experimental schools #anyway don't worry about this #just a reference point for rubdown's work of art

[valencing]

The Loneliest Time is for the people who take all of their real life problems straight to work so everyone knows about them whether they want to or not, it's the album you listen to when you're merging onto the freeway but you're so scared and you don't think anybody should let you be doing this, it's for the people who haven't seen any movies but you kind of know what they're about so everyone thinks you're normal but you aren't, it's for the people who have a stash of TUMS everywhere because they choke on heartburn acid 24/7, like TUMS in your handbag TUMS on your bedside table, loose TUMS in your glove compartment, in the passenger seat, pocket TUMS in your winter coat from last year, TUMS in the shape of a lover in your bed, it's for the people who feel the worst they've ever felt in their life but they're so inconsolably horny they get like Terminator heat seek vision and shoot lasers out of their eyes dick cock and pussy, it's for people who need to crawl around on the ceiling using your sticky hands, it's for the summer bitch who gets SAD in winter but for the winter bitch who gets SAD in summer (regional), it's for people who know how to read but choose not to, it's for people who love to commit harmless crimes, acts of whimsy really, no harm done, it's for space cases who believe they can astral project into the mind palace of somebody who never existed, it's for people born to wiggle like a rehydrated earthworm forced to stand still, it's the ultimate amorous delinquent freak album.

#especially the ceiling crawlers tbh