urbestamgirl

[urbestamgirl]

BITTER

Han Jisung x Y/N

angst;smut

WC: 2.8k

Warnings: it’s smut, so be warned, nothing too sad nothing too horny, vanilla sex.

Habits are hard to break, specially when you’ve never intended to fall into them. Trying to recall when it started. When you were just a young girl, shyer than the rest, quieter than the rest, just not as captivating as anyone else. When you finally managed to get your first kiss you settled for whatever. So it went on, with the second, and the third. That’s what they were, nameless kisses in a drunken haze.

Soon enough, in a drunken haze you went home with those nameless boys. Touch starved, accepting any crumb they were willing to give you for the night. That’s the closest you’ve gotten to being loved, when they say your name repeatedly. Once you’re done, you put on your clothes, and walk back home, embarrassed for yourself. You’ve come to accept your fate, nothing but a girl who was there to fuck. And the other day, even if they met you at college, run into you in the city. They wouldn’t look your way, call your name, or give you anymore love than they already gave.

Still, every other Friday, you’d find yourself at a club or house party, trying to fill that void. Your cup full of whatever beverage was available, tonight, you were chugging on beer, you stayed in the improvised dance floor with your girl friends. Until you had to get your cup refilled, you went back to the kitchen hoping to get something stronger this time. The room was basically empty, if not for a couple making out on the table and a black haired boy getting his own liquor. You move up to his side, trying to get a hold of the bottle in his hand, he looked at his side, smiling with the side of his lips and getting a red tint on his round cheeks. “Here” he hands you the drink. “Thanks” you offer him back a smile.

He leans back against the counter and sips on his drink, as if waiting for you. “Enjoying the party?” you eased in, trying to make it less awkward. “Oh, yeah.” he responded shortly, not much of a talker apparently. “Well, I’m going to the dance floor, see you.” you bid goodbye to the boy in the kitchen, making your way back to the girls.

“You still here?” one of them asked as you returned to the group, you laughed, choosing to ignore the double meaning behind it, and sipping on your drink, soon, feeling loose enough to start dancing again.

It was about 1am by now, and your thighs were already quite sore, taking you to sit on a couch for a while. You scoff, looking around you, a girl humping on a guy’s lap, probably her boyfriend, the scene a little more bitter than you expected. You’ve come to learn that at parties, you should always stay at the dance floor, that’s what the singles do, if you stray too far you’re only going to be met by you biterness. You finished your cup, feeling sorry for yourself, but this time, you couldn’t get burried in your sorrow as the sit behind you sunk down and you looked up to the person besides you.

The same black head of hair and sharp brown eyes looked back at you. Before even thinking anything out of it, about how much that boy was handsome or how tipsy you actually were, you went to your phone. Besides the reputation that followed you, you weren’t the one searching for meaningless one night stands, you were actually a shy person at most. The boy coughs a little before asking; “What’s your name?” you could hear the nervousness in his voice as he spoke. “Y/N” you state, plainly, not daring to cross eyes with him. “My friends have told me about you”, now you look to him, but he’s starring into the dance floor. “What about?” you bite the bait, worried about what rumour has been going around. “That you’re pretty” he shrugs his shoulders. You sigh a little relieved, not sure that was the true but happy enough the boy beside you didn’t try to offend you.

“What’s your name?” you ask him. “Jisung, Han Jisung” he answers, so softly you could barely hear him through the banging music. “Well, nice to meet you” you smile, going back to your phone as he didn’t seem interested in you. “You know” he starts off “ I found you pretty too.” he completes making you look up once again, but he still hasn’t met your gaze. “You’re very handsome yourself” you tell him, making him finally meet your eyes with that same reddish tint rising to his face.

“I’m going to fill my cup, do you want some?” you ask him. “I’ll join you actually, if that’s okay.” he says getting up after you. You nod, leading him into the crowds of people. Once into the kitchen, you take both your cups filling them with booze, feeling eyes burning into you the whole time. You look back at the boy, not much taller than you, meeting his gaze and giving him his refilled cup. He takes it to his mouth almost immediately, whereas you choose to wait a little, pretty out of it already. He puts the cup down, almost at the bottom again, putting all of his attention back into you. You look away this time, overwhelmed about the attention, choosing to drink it away. “Can I kiss you?” he asks, just as low as the last time, making you wonder if he actually asked you that or it was just a trick of your mind. But as soon as you feel a pair of hands on your hips, you know it’s not just imagination, so you nod, stuck in your same position as he leans down.

His lips are ghostly over yours, just a whisper as you feel he’s not sure of what he’s doing. You take it as your turn to take action and lace your arms againt his neck, bringing him closer to you. Your lips meet again, not parting away this time, one of your hand coming to his cheek in an attempt to deepen the kiss, which he plays on, pulling your hips, making it bump into his own and taking advantage of your gasp to meet tongues. It was a kiss of hunger, bodies touching, hair pulling, grabbing. After what felt like only seconds, you pulled away for air, looking to his face. His lips red and glossy, eyes droppy, hair messed up in the most attractive manners, he was also catching his breath, chest heaving up and down vigorously, but he did not stare away from you, almost as if he was appreciating your beauty too.

“Do you want to go back to your place?” you ask him, hopeful. He lets go of your body, making you scared he was rejecting you, only to hold your hand and lead you out of the crowded house. “I live nearby, is it okay if we walk?” he asks and you only nod back in response, enjoying the chance to sober up a little. The walk was the most pleasant you had, by far, as the boy made an actual attempt to get to know you, and you to know him. You discussed your majors and learnt he was studying music, he told you nice stories he had with his friends and roommates and even some of his life dreams. You were taken aback by his honesty, deciding not to share as much with your one night stand, only going for the superficial matters, as your major and some of your interests. Caught up in the conversation it didn’t take long for you to get to his place. He had seven other roommates as you came to learn, but he told you not to worry about them coming in, as they would only leave the party in the early morning.

He unlocked the door and took off his shoes and jacket by the hanger, helping you to take your own coat off and place it. As soon as you did, you felt his lips on your neck, giving it sweet kisses and than moving you along into his bedroom. You were left in your tank top and jeans, he was still behind you, kissing your neck, your shoulders and moving up to you cheeks. This was nothing like what you were used to, and even though it frightened you, you were thankful he wasn’t rushing to take your clothes off and get it over with. A soft moan escaped your lips as he found that spot between your collarbones and neck, making you decide to finally move and kiss him back.

The kiss was just as hungry as before, messy, but not in a bad way, your lips fit together really well. You grabbed his shirt, pushing him into his bed, sitting down on its edge, you kept kissing him and moved your hands from his defined torso to his hair, yanking it back, getting a chance to look in his eyes, now black with need. You hovered over his lap, his legs between your knees and you could feel how hard he was under his jeans. “You’re so pretty” he said against your lips and you smiled back at him. “Touch me then” and he did as you asked, lifting your shirt off and moving his hands to your waist, his lips leaving yours only to be attached to your exposed chest. Not losing a second, he went to your back and unclasped your bra, already taking his lips to your hardened nipples. He kissed your left boob, sucking and biting into your nipple, not leaving the other one waiting he twisted it between his fingers and then changed sides. In return you gave him soft moans of encouragement and moved your hips againt him, showing him how eager you were for him. His lips went back up but he didn’t kiss you this time, instead he moaned softly, before flipping you into your back and settling on top of you.

Without you humping on him, he went back to kissing you and whilst one hand gave him support, the other one unbottoned your pants. He moved away from you again, to get your jeans off, making you miss his touch on you. By now, you were basically naked under him, only your underwear left on and he took this moment to kiss you all over, going southern each time, finding the waistband of your panties in no time. Your mind was foggy already as he started placing teasing kisses on your thighs, soon he was kissing exactly where you needed him.

You sat up on your elbows looking at him as he continued teasing you. “Jisung, you don’t need to do that” he looked up to you, soft smirk on his lips, “I know babe, I want to.” you left you head fall back, not feeling the need to protest as you felt him move your panties aside and brush his hands in your folds. Before you could even complain about his slow pace, he replaced his hands with his lips giving you sweet kisses all over your clit. Yet, he remains as teasing as before, licking you up and down slowly.

“Fuck Jisung, if you want to do it, please do it then” you groan, your head back up, watching him. His only reaction was to chuckle against you, sending you some much needed vibrations. He started to move sucking and biting into your sensitive sposts, his eyes locked on yours as you let out breathy moans and whispers of his name. “So wet for me.” he would praise you, continuing his assault on your clit, your brain was gone into the pleasure that was building in your stomach. You move one of your hands to grasp his hair, urging him to go faster, as you felt the pleasure spread to your toes. “So desperate and pretty.” he’d stop to say, only to put his two fingers inside of you and pump then in a slow pace. His mouth on your bundles and his fingers reaching into you, now starting to curl in that spot you desperately needed, taking you over the edge.

“I’m almost there” you tell him, your back arching, your hips grinding up, looking for more, only to have him halt away and leave you gasping. “Jisung, please” you’d beg for him to continue, but he was already coming up to kiss you. You tasted yourself in his tongue, moving away to take his shirt off. His chest finally in the open for you to appreciate the lines of muscles in his body, he was, by far, the most attractive person you’ve been with, and that made you even more restless.

It’s your turn to kiss on his neck, leaving soft love bites on his pale skin, marks you knew would be gone in the morning. Your hand kept sliding down his body, meeting his bulge and rubbing against it, and as he left groans in your ear, you knew he was just as eager as you. You unbotton his jeans and let him slide it down his body, along with his boxers. His erection slaps against his stomach and you take on the full view of his body. “Do you have a condom?”

“Yeah” he grunts, far too gone too. He reaches on his nightstand for a pack, and hands it to you. You rip the plastic on your lips as you maintain eye contact, his gaze begging you to go faster. You take the rubber and slide it down his dick, him meeting you with a grind of his hips, you give him a few pumps before laying back and letting him take the lead. This time around, he doesn’t tease, bottoming out in you, the pressure reaching your stomach. “You feel so fucking good” he moans out and waits a few seconds before thrusting again, he starts building his rhythm and adjusts your leg to go over his hip, making it reach even deeper inside you.

Usually, it would take you a long time to have an orgasm from penetration itself, if you even managed to have one, but you were so consumed by his previous teasing that it doesn’t take long for the pleasure to build on your body. His thrusts are deep and steady, reaching in the right spots inside you. And as you call out his name, your hands running againt his back you feel him twitching inside of you, going even faster as he loses himself in the pleasure. He works hard for it to be just as pleasurable for you, running his fingers in your clit in circular motions. The more you near your orgasm, clenching against him, the louder his moans get. “Are you close?” he grunts out. You can only moan out a yes as he quicken up his pace, ready to reach that high. With his effort, it’s no wonder you both reach your high at almost the same time, he keeps thrusting into you, riding that orgasm until he feels soft, he doesn’t stop circling your clit, not until you finally see white and buck away from him, overstimulated from your finished orgasm.

He lifts himself off you, and you had to control the complaint from leaving your hips as he didn’t fill you anymore. He took the condom and made a knot in it before disposing it. Before he threw himself in bed you were already on your feet, searching for all the pieces of clothing around the room. “What are you doing?” he asks as you put on your underwear. “Getting dressed” you chuckle. “Are you leaving?” he asks before you put your shirt back on, and you only nod back at him, used to this moment. “It’s dangerous for you to go out in the street at this time” “I’m sure I’ll be fine Jisung” you state back at him.

“You should stay the night and we’ll grab some breakfast in the morning” he says, somewhat of a sparkle in his eyes. “We don’t have to do that.” You tell him grabbing your pants from the floor. “I know that silly, I want to.” he says, with a tenderness you never expected. Meeting your apprehensiveness he only taps on his bed “Come here Y/N”.

You choose to oblige this time, leaving your pants on a new spot on the floor and reaching to lay besides him. He lets you roll to his side and places his arms on top of you, the two of you spooning as he climbs up to place a soft and unexpected kiss to your forehead. “Let’s get some sleep, yeah, I’m tired” he says before turning off the lights from his bedstand.

#han jisung #stray kids #stray kids scenarios #stray kids smut #smut #han jisung smut #angst #skz #szk one shot #scenario #scenarios #drabble #han jisung x reader

[urbestamgirl]

3RACHA :: MAHAGRID

[urbestamgirl]

HAN — MANIAC (220330)

[urbestamgirl]

✨Charms✨

[urbestamgirl]

betty - taylor swift

Hey guys, this is the first thing I´m posting in here just because I needed to vent about my break up and how I´ve been feeling and what´s better than to make it about my bias. Idk, I hope to write more in here from now on XD.

Warnings: just angst no fluff nothing, not well written just actually venting about my real life problems, mentions of partying. I guess that´s it yeah.

It´s 4 a.m. and your phone buzzes and the light creeps into your darken room. It´s been rough falling asleep tonight and that notification was far from helping you. You roll around in bed making sure that looking at your phone would be a good decision. It wouldn´t be, though, you knew that the moment you took a look at whatever it was, any sight of sleep you had would vanish through the window. Five minutes have gone by and you were far from managing to sleep. You grab your phone and glance at it, only to realize how long this night would actually be.

A message from your ex was displayed in the screen. It´s been, roughly, six months since you´ve broken up and there hasn´t been much of a communication going on between the both of you. This way, this text, in the middle of the a.m. caught you by surprise. Now, you had another decision to make, would you even open it or leave it for the morning. Sleep was out of reach by any means, you would either end up bawling your eyes out or just too curious to sleep.  

This time, you decide against your natural instincts, you drop your phone by the nightstand and roll to the side hoping sleep would catch by. Needless to say, it didn´t. Another hour passed and even the sun started to show up behind the buildings and trees in the horizon. You open the message. It was a link, well, a Spotify link to a song. “Betty” by Taylor Swift started playing through your speakers as you just paid attention to the song.  

“I can dream about what happens when you see my face again”

It´s 11 p.m. and you enter the club, a loud hip hop song blowing through the speakers, as you wait by the door for your friends to come in and join you. You feel a tap on your shoulder and when you turn around, you are greeted by a hug. “Hey”, you reckon this voice belongs to Jisung, your ex´s friend, the one you along with the best anyways. You hug him back, happy to see him again after so long, only for, the moment you let him go, another hug to greet you, this one, far colder. “Hi Y/N”, now this voice, you recognized even faster. Bang Chan, your ex, stood in front of you.  

To be honest, before you left your house, you considered he might be there, he has always liked this club and you even went there together sometimes. But his greetings really caught you by surprise this time, last time you´ve seen each other, four months ago, he ignored you the whole night like you never even happened. And just like that, before you can make out anything from the situation, he turns back to his group of friends, as your own friends join you and give him a dirty look.  

“You heard the rumors from Inez, you can't believe a word she says”

Your break up six months ago was all-in-all peaceful. Of course, no break up is done without leaving bad feelings. As he said, he just wasn´t in love with you anymore, both of you were really busy and he needed some time only for himself. “Is there someone else?” you ask. The tears streaming down his face pace up and he nods. “Who is she?” you insist. “Sana”, he answers quietly, no point in hiding anything anymore. “The girl you promised you had no feelings for multiple times?” you ask out of spite. “It´s not like that Y/N” Chan says “I swear I had none, I just felt this last night and I don´t think that´s fair to you.”  

So far, you haven´t cried, your whole World was shattering and you could just stare in disbelief at the puzzle being put together in your mind. “Did anything happen between you?” he denies it. “I swear it didn´t. I just felt like it, felt like kissing her, and I told the boys, they got really mad at me, but they agreed that it wasn´t fair to you and I should be honest to you. I swear nothing happened and nothing will happen between me and her.” your face remains dry as you reply “Well, you can do whatever you want now, you’re a single man” he tries to hold onto your hand, like he´s not the one leaving you “I promise I won´t, I feel really bad about this and I don´t ever want to hurt you that way.”  

You nod, choosing to believe in his promise, he leaves your house for the last time, as your ex this time. Only once he´s inside his car, you lay down on your bed and break down, feeling like you were choking and broken, more hurt than ever before.  

“The worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you”

You chose to believe him, give him the benefit of the doubt. The first two weeks after your breakup, you were still in denial, believing he would show up at your house and apologize. It was exactly fifteen days after your break up when the house of cards finally collapsed.  

You were talking to a mutual friend of yours, when he finally admitted, that he saw Chan and Sana together, kissing and talking, and that they left together afterwards. You felt so stupid, for trusting his promise, for waiting for him to come back, to cheat on your own instincts like that. You had always expressed to him how insecure you felt about her, how she was an idol like him and they had so much more in common and they could talk for hours about this universe of theirs. He always laughed about it, like it was such a foolish idea and you let it slide because you couldn´t bear a World without him.  

Fifteen days after your break up was when you decided you should move on, and it wasn´t easy, most days you were stuck in bed crying. Specially those you saw a picture of them through a mutual friend, when you saw their interactions or when paparazzi photos leaked.  

“I was walking home on broken cobblestones just thinking of you when she pulled up like a figment of my worst intentions, she said "James, get in, let's drive". Those days turned into nights, slept next to her, but I dreamt of you all summer long”

All in all, it has been half a year since you´ve broken up and you were over it mostly. Your friends kept asking how you were but you were actually okay. The only thing that could get hurt by now, was your ego. You enjoyed the night like always, you drank, danced with your friends, laughed, tried your best to not even look his way. Every time you did, though, you saw Sana´s hands all over him and you turned away and kept dancing.  

Your best friend warned you that he´s been starring a lot, but you chose to ignore it, knowing by now that hope was a bitch.  

“But if I just showed up at your party, would you have me? Would you want me? Would you tell me to go fuck myself?”

Once you were already tired from all the dancing, you said bye to your friends and drove off home, wondering if seeing you, still messes with him the way it messed with you.

And that´s when two hours later he sent you that song. You were a mixed of rage, sadness, emptiness, irony. How could he leave you? How could he ignore you? How could he break his promises? How could he continue to hurt you in such way? How could he act like he had all those feelings? Knowing all of these were his options, he decided to break up, he decided to move on, he refused to maintain a friendship with you. Now here he was, sending you this song, after he saw you, like he was a victim of some sort. And you hated him, because if he just said the right things, you´d go back to him all again.  

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