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uebermenschblog · 8 years
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Hey hey, I got new words, new Heliza SelfieFic ...
Here's This Girl
read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2ddK0uX
by uebermensch
Follow-on to the 2nd-to-last scene of 1x07, as Eliza has successfully introduced the keynote speaker at Pharmaceuti-Con.
I’ve written this story to mark the 2nd anniversary of the airing of the show’s debut episode, “Pilot”, on network television on 30 Sep 2014. This work is my 20th SelfieFic.
Words: 3053, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Series: Part 7 of Post-Ep Follow-Through
Fandoms: Selfie (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: F/M
Characters: Eliza Dooley, Henry Higgs, Sam Saperstein
Relationships: Eliza Dooley & Henry Higgs, Eliza Dooley/Henry Higgs
Additional Tags: AMWF, Male-Female Friendship, Romantic Friendship, Romantic Comedy, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Henry-Eliza Unresolved Romantic Tension, HEURT, Heliza, SelfieFic, 1x07, s01e07, Episode: S01E07 Here’s This Guy, Episode: S01E07 Landline
read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2ddK0uX
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uebermenschblog · 8 years
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Approaching number 20
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Hi, everybody. I’ve gotten busier of late, but I wanted to let you know I’m still inching forward to SelfieFic number 20. Apparently, I still have much to write, and this new piece will be relatively short (hint: weather theme). There are 2 longer pieces I have in my mind, and my muse is kicking my ass because she won’t let those 2 big story ideas go; both of which need fleshing out and a lot of work yet to do.
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uebermenschblog · 8 years
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Broken Mirror
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Posted on AO3, 8 Jun 2016.
Summary: There are at least two missing scenes from episode 1x13: Henry totally LOLfails at skateboarding, and by the end he's nursing a broken bone in his lower right arm. One proposed missing scene is Eliza accompanying Henry to the hospital to mirror the scene in 1x03 where Henry visits Eliza in the hospital. A second proposed missing scene is Henry seeing Eliza's shorter hair for the first time. Alt-canon to augment 1x13, because it’s hella fun to write and supplement Selfie Heliza canon. This story is independent of my other work, and is COMPLETE (2 chapters) forSelfieFic number 19.
Characters belong to Emily Kapnek, and because I miss seeing Heliza, I'm borrowing them for awhile. I've developed this story to follow episode 1x13 (Wishing Well / I Woke Up Like This).
Chapter 1 of 2: Immobility
“Where’s that frosty?” he moaned.
“There, there.” She patted his uninjured hand. “First, we gotta get you to the hospital.”
Sitting next to Henry lying flat at the bottom of the skatepark bowl, Eliza looked up and saw two paramedics peering over the lip of the bowl.  With the help of the young skaters, they brought down a stretcher. Ensuring his broken right arm was stabilized to prevent further injury and securing Henry onto the stretcher were easy; getting back up proved a lot trickier. Slowly, they all made their way back up and Henry was loaded onto the ambulance.
“My cool delicious frosty …” he continued to mumble.
“Sir, please take it easy, and we’ll get you to the hospital as quickly as we can.” Sheila, one of the paramedics, said.
“Can I go with him?” Eliza asked.
“Not ‘can I’, Eliza; it’s ‘may I’ …” Henry mumbled from inside.
“Yes," Sheila replied. "Normally, we’d ask you to ride up front, but perhaps, it's best if you rode with him in the back. My partner will drive. Is that okay, Mark?”
Sheila’s partner nodded.
“Okay let’s go …”  Sheila climbed in first, followed by Eliza.
They didn’t have to go far, but through the entire ten minute drive, Eliza held his hand, reassuring him she was still there. He continued to mumble wordless sounds for a few minutes before slipping into unconsciousness.
Henry rode the board expertly down the bowl one side and back up the other side, flipped the board twice, to land effortlessly and safely on the board. Eliza removed her sunglasses and looked approvingly at him. He could tell she was impressed. Riding the bowl back to where Eliza stood, he dismounted smoothly from the board. “So, Eliza: what do you think?”
“That was hot, and I think …” she replied coyly, slipping her arms around his neck. “ … that I want to kiss you …”
“About time …” he leaned forward.
“Henry …”
“I want you …”
“HENRY!”
The cotton around his eyes finally cleared, and he opened his eyes. Henry saw he was no longer outside. He looked at his surroundings: he was dressed in a hospital gown, lying on crisp sheets in a bed, in a hospital room under low illumination. There was a big window, and it was dark outside, but what time it was he didn’t know. He panicked until he realized he couldn’t move his right arm. Ah yes, and there’s the cast. And the moment he saw the cast, his brain connected the dots to earlier events. That’s when the rest of his body made the final mental to physical connection. He groaned in pain.
“Henry?”
And to compound this peach of a day, his friend witnessed the whole damn thing. Yes, there was physical pain, but also, the pain of total embarrassment. His head plopped back onto the pillow, as he closed his eyes and quietly muttered curses in a mix of English and Korean.
“Hey. How are you?” Holding his left hand, Eliza asked with worry in her voice.
Unnerved by that unusual tone in her voice, he opened his eyes to her. “Unnnhhhhhh … like I’ve been run over by a tank.”
“You fell hard. It wasn’t pretty. Total epic fail, Henry.”
He chuckled. “Tell me about it: I was there. What hospital are we in?”
“We’re in Providence Saint Joseph Medical Center.”
“No way. The same one you came in when you got hit by a car?”
“Way. Henry, I’m glad you’re okay … considering …” She nodded at his cast.
“Thank you, Eliza. I’m glad you’re here.” He squeezed her hand in gratitude.
“Ah, he’s awake!” A nurse announced, carrying a clipboard in his hand.
“Do you know when I can leave?” Henry wanted to crawl home and hide there. Preferably for the next month.
“Henry, you just got here - what’s the rush?” Eliza was irritated because frankly, she was a little scared when he was put onto a stretcher, and she rode with him in the ambulance to the hospital. She was also irritated, because she wasn’t sure he knew that she had in fact been scared.
“You may have to stay overnight for a couple more tests to ensure you don’t have a big concussion or head trauma. Good thing you wore that helmet, and it’s real lucky you only got away with a broken arm. The doctor will be by soon to check up on you and to answer any of your questions.”  The nurse attached the clipboard at the end of the bed, and left the room.
“Well, when you put it that way …” Henry turned to Eliza. “Guess I might be staying the night.”
“I can stay here with you if you’d like.”
I’d like that a lot. “Eliza, that’s really nice of you, but you don’t have to do that. Don’t you have plans with Freddy? You both should celebrate your victory over Corinne McWatters.”
But that was our victory over that ass-hag bitch, she thought. “How about this: we’ll both wait for the doctor, and get their assessment, and if it’s N-B-D, I’ll leave.”
They both looked down, and realized they still held each other’s hand. After a slow yet simultaneous release, he immediately felt the exhaustion and yawned. “Excuse me! Why don’t you grab a chair, and we’ll talk. That way you can help me stay awake until the doctor arrives.”
She sat next to his bed. An unusual situation brought an unusual question. “What did you want to talk about?”
Henry looked at her with a little concern. She’s at a loss for words, and that might be a first. “We never did talk about what it meant for you to confront Corinne McWatters.”
“It meant a lot to me. In case I didn’t say it before, thank you. Thanks for standing by me.”
“You’re most welcome.”
“Even if I turned a burn on myself …”
“All that matters is you stood up for yourself. You were very brave.”
Eliza giggled. “Brave …”
“Look, I do know it’s a big deal. From all the things you’ve told me about your time in junior high, it was important to face her down and to show her you can stand up for yourself.”
“I did stand up for myself, didn’t I?”
“Yeah!”
“Yeah!”
“What do you think now about Corinne as a role model?”
“God, no. I’ve spent so much time in front of the mirror, trying to create a new me. And yeah, I’ve spent years reinventing myself, and yeah, it seems totes unfair to realize that, while I thought I was taking the ‘best’ of Corinne to create a new Eliza, she was always putting me down. It was time I put a stop to that, it was time I drew a line in the sand, and I said ‘no’ to Corinne McWatters.”
Henry nodded, with a look of satisfaction and pride. After a few quiet moments, he voiced the thought that’d been nagging at him for awhile. “Huh, okay, that’s weird.”
“What’s that?”
“I’ve got this sudden craving for cotton candy.”
Eliza grinned with a hint of a mischievous smirk. “Really? And how can I help you with that?”
“I smell it; so I crave it.”
“I knew you would notice my perfume, Henry.”
“Could you get me some cotton candy, Eliza?”
“That might be too much sugar, even for you.”
“I dunno. I’ve had time to get used to it. You know, to too much sugar.”
“SRSLY? What is that supposed to mean?” Where was this coming from? How hard did he hit his head?
They were interrupted by a knock on the door. “Excuse me? Mr. Henry Higgs?”
They quickly glanced at each other, before Henry spoke up. “Yes, hello.”
“Well, you’re looking no worse for wear. Hi, I’m Doctor Kathy Danthers.” Danthers picked up the clipboard from the end of the bed. “Let’s see what what you have here … mild concussion, tumbled over ten feet into the pit of a skateboard park. Aren’t you a little old to be skateboarding?”
“Probably,” Henry replied sheepishly. “Also, old enough to have had better sense than to try that in the first place.”
“It was epic …” Eliza added.
Dr. Danthers glanced from the chart to the third person in the room. “And you are …?”
“Oh, I’m Eliza Dooley. I’m his friend. Good friend, actually.”
“Normally, this conversation would be between doctor, patient, and immediate family members …”
“It’s all right, Doctor,” Henry interrupted. “I’d like her to stay, if that’s all right.”
“That’s not typically our policy. But I don’t see any harm in having you stay. Besides, by the looks of it, you two look close.”
“Oh, we’re not … together,” Henry added, to a strange look on Eliza’s face. “Well, we’re not!”
“That may be so, Mr. Higgs,” Dr. Danthers replied. “But there’s body language, and there’s the fact she’s had her hands on your arrm from the moment I walked in …”
“Oh.” Henry looked down at her hands and back up to Eliza. “Well, we are close.”
“See, that wasn’t so hard, was it, Mr. Higgs.” Danthers looked over to Eliza. “Men! We have to tell them everything.”
“Don’t I know it …”
“Is he usually this difficult?”
“Where do I even begin?”
“The start would be helpful …”
Henry looked back and forth at the women. “Hey, hello? I’m still here …”
Eliza put her fingers on his lips. “Susssh, Henry. Dr. Danthers is talking.”
Dr. Danthers chuckled. “Okay, okay. I believe in world peace, but I also believe in peace between a couple ...”
“Oh,” Henry interjected. “But we’re not a …”
Eliza put her fingers on his lips again. “Please go on, Doctor …”
“... even if they're `'just' friends." Danthers air-quoted for emphasis. "Let’s get to why I’m here. You broke your right forearm, which fortunately was only a hairline break of the radius, and a bruise of the ulna. As you can see, we put your arm in a cast. It’ll be at least a couple of weeks before we can remove the cast. Good news is you can go home tonight. Bad news is you’ve also got a mild concussion, and you’ll be experiencing headaches and possible dizziness. Someone should check up on you tonight to make sure you wake up every couple of hours or so. This also means I strongly recommend you take tomorrow off, get plenty of rest, and avoid strenuous activities. Take it easy, and any lingering symptoms should go away in a few days. If anything happens or you experience anything more serious, come back to the hospital. Here’s my card.” Danthers dug into her coat pocket and presented a business card to Henry.
“Thank you, Dr. Danthers.” Eliza said, snatching the card from Henry. “I’ll make sure he’s well looked after.”
“I’m sure you will, Miss Dooley.”
“Hey, can I talk now?” Henry chimed in. “Thank you, Doctor. We’ve actually been through this before. Eliza got knocked by a car, and I called every hour or so to wake her up. She was miserable …”
“Could you blame me? I dislocated my tailbone, broke my pelvis, and got a concussion …”
“Yeah, that was a ridiculous trifecta.”
“From the sound of things, you’re in safe hands, Mr. Higgs. If you’ll excuse me, I’ve other patients to attend. I’ll have the nurse come in with some paperwork for you to sign, and you can leave after that. Please feel free to call if you have any questions. Good night." Danthers turned directly to Eliza. "And good luck with this one ..."
Eliza laughed at Danthers' directive, while Henry rolled his eyes and harrumphed in good nature. They watched Dr. Danthers leave the room. Henry looked down to find Eliza had both hands on his undamaged left arm. Eliza followed where he was looking. Feeling self-conscious, she began to pull away.
“No, Eliza. It’s okay.” He placed his cast hand on her hands to still them.
She gave him a little smile, and blew out an exaggerated breath. “Some kinda day, am I right?”
“Actually, the last 72 hours have been something. Didn’t seem like it was going to end …”
“And it all started when you tasked me to find a role model.”
“Did you find one?"
“No, I didn’t. I’m still looking. On the one hand, I kinda think it should still be you …”
“But …”
“But I know it’s def better if my role model is a woman who can help and guide me professionally.”
“Exactly.”
Eliza remembered where they were before Danthers stopped by. “Are you still craving cotton candy?”
“Actually, no.”
She was clearly disappointed, a fact she didn’t bother to hide.  
“But I’m very confident the craving will return.”
“Anything I can do to help that along?”
He grinned. “Be true to yourself, Eliza.”
“Okay, I can do that.”
“Though you could be nicer to children …”
“HEY!”
“J/K, Eliza; J/K.”
She snorted. “Oh yeah? You realize that you - jumped - me. In public. At a bookstore.”
“Yes, I know. Of course. I was there.”
“And you realize what this means, right? That you’re a grown man who’s more than capable of jumping someone.”
One of the many things Henry had learned from his relationship with Eliza was the growing ability to give her as much lip as he could take. If he didn’t have a cast, he’d be rubbing his hands with glee. “I see. Since you don’t seem to be complaining, I have an important question: did you enjoy it? You know, me jumping you?”
“Holy shitdogs, Henry. Did you just say what I think I heard what you just said? Because that would mean …”
“Yes?”
“Uhm, that would mean that …”
Which was the exact moment her phone rang.
Annoyed, she turned the source of irritation over to see who had dared to interrupt them. Her lips twitched when she saw who it was.
“Sorry, Henry. It’s Freddy.”
“Don’t be sorry. Answer the call.”
“Hello?” As she turned away talking to Freddy, the look on Henry’s face could best be described as ‘sorry.’
She finished the call and turned to Henry, a look somewhat rueful mixed with a little bit of resignation. “I gotta go. But so long as you’re okay …”
“Yeah, don’t worry about me, Eliza. Today was a big day for you: have fun tonight; celebrate your victory."
“As long as you’re sure …” She grabbed one of his hands.
“I”m sure …” He gave her hand a squeeze.
“I’ll call you after … y’know, to make sure you’re okay … and to make you miserable … like you did for me last time …”
“Oh, ‘retaliation’, is it?”
“What’s a little retribution among friends? Am-i-rite?”
He chuckled at their banter.  Nothing more was said when they both realized this day, their day was coming to an end.
“Talk to you soon, Eliza.”
“See ya, Henry.”
Eliza turned at the doorway. She saw him staring out the window, slowly kneading the part of his exposed left arm where she had placed her hands.
Chapter 2 of 2: Mobilization
A few days later, Henry spent a quiet evening in the den, relaxing with a new book. He heard tapping on the door. The windows and the door were shuttered and he couldn’t see out, but he had a good idea who might be knocking.
He opened the door to a familiar yet unfamiliar sight. “Hey!”
“Hey!”
“Come on in, Eliza …”
“Thank you …” She brought forward a tall lidded paper cup with a straw.
“What’s this?” Henry puzzled over her unusual offering.
“I brought you a frosty.”
Henry blazed a full smile, blinding her in the process. He was touched she remembered.
“Would you like something to drink, Eliza? You wanna share in the frosty?”
“Nah, way too easy to brain freeze. Water, please.”
“You know, Eliza, not that I complain much …”
“… a LOT, actually …”
“ … you cut your hair!”
Self-consciously, she fingered strands of her now shortened hair. “Yes, I did. Uhm, you like it?” She didn’t know it, but she repeated the question the very same way the previous evening to Freddy.
Henry handed her a tumbler with water before examining her more closely. “I do. It’s certainly different, but I like it.”
“You’re not saying that to humor me, are you?”
“No, really, Eliza; it’s a fresh look for you. I know what an important role your hair plays in your image, so it’s gotta be something big. Was there a specific reason why you made this change?” And the fact that a fantasy of mine is to run my fingers through your long red tresses …
“Remember when I said to you about how much of what I’d become had depended on Corinne?”
“Yeah?”
“One, I spent three hours every morning to look the way I do.”
“Three?! I didn’t know that, but it explains a lot …”
“Why I was gonna floss at every staff meeting? Why I looked totes ’alpha’, not ‘beta’?”
“No, not at all. It explains why you were late to work most of the time.”
Eliza rolled her eyes. “Whatevs. But secondly and more importantly, I realized I already had a positive female role-model, and that was the 13-year old me. I might’ve been voted ‘most butt’, but I remember something else. She was something more: she was kind, she was brave, she was smart, and she was loyal.”
“Aside from the fact I'm a little disturbed you're referring to yourself in the third person, I think the 13-year old Eliza you're describing is kinda like the person you’ve become.”
She giggled at his acknowledgement. “Thank you. 13-year old Eliza would’ve been proud of me: I’ve got a hot boyfriend, and I’ve got a great job that I love.”
“I'm happy about your breakthrough, but I think you should still look for someone older and experienced to help set your future path.”
She nodded thoughtfully. “You know, despite our age difference, I can imagine what kind of fun we might’ve had, had we met in junior-high or high-school.”
“We would’ve been painfully shy, and we … or rather, I would’ve barely said one word to you.”
“I would’ve dragged you everywhere.”
“And I would’ve complained every minute of the way.” And undoubtedly, loved every minute of it, too.
“AHA! I see it now. Even at age 13, you were already an old crusty guy.”
“Eliza, I’m proud of you. For all the things you’ve done to change, and how you’ve finally overcome Corinne. Above all, I’m really happy for you.”
“Thank you. But actually, that wasn’t the reason why I came out to see you.”
“Oh. Was there another reason?”
“Yeah, I wanted to tell you I was proud of you, too.”
“I’m confused …”
“You took a chance, and you dove into the deep end.”
“Yeah,” Henry raised his cast. “And look what I got for it.”
“That’s not what I mean.”
“I know, Eliza. Funny thing is that I talked a big game just to look ‘cool’ with the kids my age back in the day.”
“Seriously, Henry, and don’t take this the wrong way: did you think you were cool?”
He tamped the initial swell of irritation and decided on truth instead. “No. I don’t think I was ever cool.”
“Truth: I don’t think I was, either.”
“It doesn’t matter. Fact is I’ve some friends …”
“You don’t have any friends …”
“Yes I do … I have you …” He took a long sip from the frostie.
Eliza giggled, a blush blooming from her belly up to her neck. Avoiding him in the eyes, she looked down and noticed writing on the cast. “Hey, what’s this?”
“Yeah, it’s something one of the young men signed for me.”
“`No fear’?”
He looked down at the cast, a little upward turn of the mouth for an enigmatic grin. “A new way of looking at things, a new way of looking at the world.”
She tilted her head at him. “All that from teenagers?”
“Yes. Going over into the pit, feeling like I was going to die, and breaking my arm in the process. It’s brought about an entirely new perspective.” Especially about how I view my friendship with Eliza. But even if her relationship with Freddy gets serious, I’ll have to find a way to be happy for her.
“Something’s changed, hasn’t it?” Eliza's eyebrows furrowed.
“No, I don’t think so …”
“Come on, Henry, when you say ‘you know me,’ turnabout’s fair play. `Cuz I know you, too …”
He had to laugh at that. “Okay, I admit it. Something has changed.”
“Not in our friendship, I hope?” She asked with a touch of worry. Sometimes she wore her emotions openly to him. To some extent, she didn’t shy away from expression, but he had seen and better understood those hidden layers to the woman that was Eliza Dooley. And perhaps, revealing herself and trusting him not to abuse that trust (much) was a great testament to their relationship.
“Yes and no,” he replied.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
He wasn’t ready to tell her his truest of feelings; that wouldn’t have been fair to her or Freddy. Even if he didn’t like the circumstances, he respected her and her relationship with Freddy. But it didn’t mean what he was about to say would be easy. Here it goes: no fear.
“I think, our friendship is strong. You’re a very important person in my life, and I think we’re pretty close. Wouldn’t you agree?”
“I do.”
He nodded, partly to echo her confirmation, and partly out of some small relief. “As long as we work on continuing to build our friendship, it’ll continue to grow and flourish; nothing has to change on that front.”
���But?”
“I hear what you're saying. I think it’s time I went out into the dating scene again.”
No! If she could, she’d pout or stamp her foot down. Instead, in her mind, she shoved her petulant side into a little corner, because it wasn't fair of her to demand his friendship simply and solely because he was single. “About damn time, H-dawg. Maybe I can rally my followers on social media and get you a date …”
“No, thanks, Eliza; I think I can manage on my own.”
“I think you need all the help you can get …”
“O ye of little faith, I think I do all right. Remember I went out with Julia …"
… who despite her impressive medical skills and incredible healing record was your identical twin, a tiny excuse of a woman, and your relationship with her ended months ago …”
“Okay, please stop talking. When you say all that out loud, you’re making me feel bad.”
Eliza kept rolling. “You don’t want a woman who’s like you. You want a woman who’ll challenge you, who’ll completely disrupt your life …”
He had to smile at that, thinking over the last twelve months. “I also want a partner …”
“Oh, that’s gonna be a tough sell. I mean, who’s going to put up with your bowtie collection and demanding salad schedule?”
“I don’t know. As always, you bring up very interesting and valid points.”
“Am I right? It’s gonna be a totes lo-o-o-ong search for your perfect partner.”
“Not that long of a search …”
She nodded. “A futile one, if you ask me.” she said, under her breath.
“Hey, I heard that.”
Eliza brought her arms up. “What? Seriously though, wouldn’t that be something if you found someone, and we all went on a double date?”
“Oh god, no. What are we - in high school?”
“Are you doubting my ability to come up with something cool for a double date?”
“I’m doubting I could hold back my reaction. That is, me rolling my eyes at the idea of double dating …”
“So long as you find someone taller than a peanut to date …”
“Come on, Eliza: cut it out with the ‘height’ jokes.”
“Hey, I says it as you called it. ‘I’m 7 years old’, if you’ll recall …”
“I didn’t mean it literally …”
“And I would never … minimize … the sitch, Henry …”
“Hardee har har. You can stop now.”
“You and whose army?” She liked playing this game with Henry. A lot.
“Okay, ‘jolly ginger giantess’  …”
She laughed at that. “At least Julia had the good sense to call me ‘jolly’. Henry, just promise me: don’t change too much. `Cuz if you did, I might have trouble recognizing you.”
“Don’t worry, Eliza. If there are any big changes, you’ll be here with me as well, every step of the way. I promise.”
“Okay, I can live with that.” She reached to grab his unbandaged left hand and squeezed.
Sipping the frosty through the straw, he watched her leave through the door from the den. She stopped, turned, and waved at Henry, a little smile on top of her silently mouthed `bye.
He graced her with a smile of his own, before she turned to walk back to her car. On impulse, he stepped out of the house and onto the driveway. With the car’s ignition activated, she was about to put her car into reverse when she raised her eyes to see his gentle gaze on her. He tilted his head to confirm what he was seeing: she was wearing glasses.
Something has changed: Henry is looking at me differently. And yeah, I’ve got my glasses on, 'cuz I forgot my contacts. That was dumb of me to forget, but maybe a part of me wanted him to see that. Well, he hasn’t run off screaming, even though I didn’t expect him to. But the look he’s giving me - it’s like the same smolder, but warmer somehow. Like, it’s more even, quiet, strong. It’s totes different, like the look of someone I care about who just found out their feelings for me. No, I've gotta be reading way too much in his look, and I've gotta be seeing things I wanna see. And besides, I’m with Freddy; that’s gotta mean something, right? But what if? What if …
As Henry watched her car disappear, he looked off to the lights of the city in the distance. One thought bounced in his mind on repeat; a small flame lit, casting light into a part of himself he thought had been locked up for good.
Next time, Eliza, I’ll be ready.
---> back to story list <---
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uebermenschblog · 8 years
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When SFPD’s Inspector Abby Dunn met HPD’s Lieutenant Chin Ho Kelly for the first time ...
And THOSE are the first looks and smiles they give each other at first meet?! Smolder much?!
The beginnings of a new AMWF (”Chibby”) on Hawaii Five-O, and I very much approve this message. 
Screencaps from S06E08, “Piko Pau 'iole” (”The Artful Dodger”)
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uebermenschblog · 8 years
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Fuck yeah: “Selfie” shouldn’t have been cancelled half-way into its first season/series.
Or in this case: fuck noooooooo!
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Shows that should not have been cancelled: Selfie (2014)
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uebermenschblog · 8 years
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If I may fantasize ...
I would’ve liked a scene where Eliza catches Henry doing something, because she knows him, too.
Come to think of it, I may have to “write” that ... either as a stand-alone or as a minor scene in a future story.
Yes, I like that. I like that very much, indeed ...
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uebermenschblog · 8 years
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”The momentary realization passes, as quickly as the time was required to move.
To inflict pain, unintended at the time, becomes all too real, when it’s quiet.
To understand you is one of the most challenging and painful time of my life. 
But you’ve also been rewarding, because I can’t imagine what my life would be like, if you were gone.”
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can’t feel anything, when will I learn? // it’s hard enough to get by just upon a smile
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uebermenschblog · 8 years
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Bethany
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Posted on AO3, 15 May 2016.
Summary: Henry gets a surprise call from Bethany. Needing help with a project, she’s confident his insights will be particularly useful. The Dooley sisters are talking to each more after what happened in 1x12 (Stick in the Mud). Eliza is in TeamFreddy, and Henry is king of the kale on TeamSalad. COMPLETE (3 chapters); this is my 18th SelfieFic.
Characters belong to Emily Kapnek, and because I miss seeing Heliza, I'm borrowing them for awhile. I've developed this in line with 1x12 and after my story "Unstuck".
Chapter 1 of 3, The call to action
Had there been another person present, they would've made the following astute observation about the man in his office: storm clouds rarely strayed far from the man's skull.
Henry sat at his desk, chin resting on steepled hands, and contemplating how a number of customers claimed one of their itch ointments was inducing hallucinations. Again! What the hell was with the hallucinations, and what was going on in R&D? Frantic calls to Larry and his lackies weren't initially revelatory, but given the statistical nature of anomalies, Larry assured Henry they’d get their answers.
"Hey, at the very least, the hallucinations aren't Satanic in nature ..."
"That's not exactly a selling point, Larry, and that’s not going to impress the shareholders."
"Look, we've gone back to the basic compounds. We're tearing the formulae apart, and starting over from scratch. We'll keep you apprised."
“OK, thanks; and good luck, Larry."
Henry approved Charlie's three-day leave because he wanted to spend time with his parents. They really were in town, because Henry checked this time. And it turned out a little funny Charlie had taken his parents to Palm Springs after all. Henry stayed on top of calls to his office with Charmonique’s help.
He was deep in the middle of a file, when the ringing phone sent a momentary shock and disrupted his chain of thought. Henry grunted in irritation as he picked up the handset. “Yes, Charmonique?”
"Henry, there's a woman on the line who says she needs to speak with you.”
“Who is she?”
“She didn’t say her name, although she did say it had to do with Eliza …”
“Is Eliza punking me?”
“What? Why would she … no! The call is from an outside line …”
“Oh. Sorry. Well then, please patch her through, Charmonique ..."
The mysterious woman spoke. ”Hi, is this Henry Higgs?"
"Yes, hello ..."
"Hi, my name is Bethany; I’m Eliza Dooley’s older sister. We met at the mud race?"
Bethany? "Yes, I remember …“
“Thanks for taking my call. The reason I'm calling and it's a little embarrassing to admit this, but I really could use your help."
“What seems to be the problem?”
“Strictly speaking, it’s not really a problem. I have an important project in mind and it has to do with Eliza.”
Henry knew what he was about to say would come out abrupt and wrong, but he was careful not to butt into people’s business and particularly not get too deep into someone else’s family business. Unless it was about Eliza. But his need to maintain propriety won out. “We just had lunch an hour ago. But excuse me for saying this, but I don’t see what this has to do with me.”
“On the contrary, I think this has everything to do with you, because Eliza talks about you …”
“She does?"
“Yes, she talks about you a lot. And for what I have in mind, I think you're the one person who can definitely help."
“Well then, you've piqued my curiosity ..."
"Great! I called to inquire if we could meet and talk ..."
“How does next week work for you?”
“Actually, I was hoping we could meet today.”
“Today?”
“I apologize for springing this on you, and you don’t even know me …”
“It’s all right. You’re her sister, and she told me you two are getting along much better now.”
“She told you that?”
“She tells me everything …”
“Does she now?”
“Yes, well …” He cleared his throat. “As for meeting today, let me have a quick look at my schedule. As a matter of fact, I can clear some time this afternoon for a couple of hours. I must admit I am very curious. Are you in the Burbank area? If you are, why don't we meet over coffee?"
“I’m in the Valley right now. I can be in Burbank in the next hour ... "
“Great! Let's meet in an hour and a half, at 230. The Coffee Room is a café, about a mile from KinderKare, and the address is ..."
After completing the call with Bethany, Henry pored over the contents of three folders. He set them aside at the 60-minute mark, and organized his desk for meetings later that afternoon. Henry passed reception on the way to the elevator, and saw Eliza in quiet conversation with Charmonique. Eliza’s face lit up when she caught sight of him on the way out.
“Hey!”
"Hi, Eliza. Charmonique, I'm heading out. I'll be back in about an hour, maybe two.”
"What's the rush, Henry?" Eliza asked.
"Oh nothing, just a little something I need taking care of." He didn't like lying to Eliza, but he didn't want to give himself away either. He wasn't sure if his 'poker face' was holding up.
"Thanks, Henry." Charmonique replied.
Eliza watched Henry enter the elevator. Her eyes narrowed, eyebrows furrowed. She had a cold 'feel', like an honest-to-god disturbance in the universe.
"What's wrong, Eliza?"
"Nothing."  At Charmonique's look, Eliza gave in. "Something's going on with Henry. I don't like it."
"See? That's what I've been trying to tell you for weeks. Right there, again, you sounded like his girlfriend."
"Pfffff, please. I’m with Freddy.”
“And?”
“I think something's up, and I'm gonna get the low-down."
Interesting how Eliza didn’t deny ‘girlfriend’. ”I don't think that's a good idea. May I remind you of what happened with ..."
"... mini-she of the Doc Pene, whose name we do not say aloud ..."
"... Julia ..."
"Gaaah!"
"Eliza, not everything is about you."
"Oh, I beg to differ, my fine bootylicious friend. With Henry, it's allll about me. SRSLY. One time he said it was a tie between his job and our friendship - can you believe it?"
"Tie?" Charmonique looked at Eliza dubiously.
“Big. Fat. Liar. Am-i-rite?! Another time, I got him to admit I was his best friend. It was like pulling teeth, but he said it all the same. Even if we were at a classy bar on a Friday night. And I kept buying him drinks. And he might've been tipsy. And he might not even remember what happened ..."
"Eliza, you didn't ..."
"I did. I got him drunk. But then I took him home and ... nothing happened!”
"Thank you ..."
“Even though I was tempted to …”
“… aren’t you with Freddy? …” For a second, Charmonique was eager and reluctant to hear Eliza say she was trying to get it on with Henry again.
“… to paint bright red dicks on his face …”
“Oh my God, what are you, twelve?!” For the next second, Charmonique promised herself never to be on Eliza's bad side.
Eliza smirked. “Yes, I am. But seriously, Charmonique, he acted kinda funny just now; I really think something's up ..."
"If there's something going on, give him time and space. If you say you're friends, trust he'll come around."
"Oh, I trust. Him to give it up. When I ask him to ..."
"I hope you're right."
"I hope so, too. I don't wanna burn his house down ..."
“Now in all fairness, Eliza, I didn't exactly start that fire ..."
Chapter 2 of 3 : The meet
Looking at his watch, Henry saw he was running a couple of minutes late.
What am I doing? I can’t believe I’m meeting Bethany. Eliza’s sister. Without Eliza present. Why do I even feel guilty?
Henry stepped into The Coffee Room, and glanced at the faces in the café. A woman with long red hair raised her hand and waved to him. With hand gestures, he indicated he was buying coffee first. With a steaming mug in hand, he moved to the table where she sat.
The resemblance is unmistakable, Henry thought. Red hair, pale complexion, a hint of freckles: definitely the Dooley genes in action. I wonder what they were like as kids …
“Hi, Henry. Thanks for meeting with me.”  Bethany stood and shook his hand.
“It’s no trouble, Bethany; thanks for reaching out. However, I must admit I was surprised to receive your call.”
“Why is that?”
“We’ve only met the one time, where we didn’t exchange many words beyond ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’. But it is good to hear from you and to meet with you. Truth is, I’m not sure what Eliza says about me, especially to her family.”
“When you say all of that out loud, I suppose that makes sense. You should know she doesn’t talk badly about you, but we’ll get back to that. I want to assure you that what I have in mind is important.”
“You mentioned the help you require has something to do with Eliza?"
"Absolutely. Before I get to that, she may have told you I'm pregnant with my first child."
"Yes, she did! Congratulations!"
"Thank you ..."
"If I may ask, do you know what the gender is?"
"Yes, we're going to have a baby girl ..."
Henry immediately thought of a redheaded Korean girl running around the house. A house he would share with Eliza, a home where they raised their daughter, a place filled with women and laughter. ”I’m happy for you and your husband."
"I wish Eliza was, too ..."
"She'll come around; trust me. Once she sees the baby, she'll likely go all out and spoil her niece rotten. I think she’ll be the best aunt in the world."
"I hope so. So, a big reason why I need your help is my baby is due October 18, which is a week before Eliza's birthday on the 25th."
"She mentioned that to me, too. She was irritated by the timing, but I told her there was no way you got pregnant just to spite her."
"Right! We have a lot of issues to work out, and I think there’ll always be a part of her who believes it’s just her against the world. I’m trying to help her through that, and a way to do that is we’ve been able to talk more of late.”
Henry nodded, her assessment in accord with his observations. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell her, too.”
Bethany twisted her lips. “And I’m sure I haven’t come across in exactly a positive light.”
“What did Eliza say about you? ‘Straight As, class president, pretty crier.’ I’d say you come across as ‘perfect.’”
“I’m nowhere close to ‘perfect’. I may be great - ask my husband - but being my best made my sister feel inferior. That was never my intention. Well, okay, in high school, maybe that was my intention, but that was years ago. We aren’t kids anymore.”
“No, we’re not. Over time, I’ve learned the truth lies somewhere between perception and reality.”
Bethany nodded. “I wanted to ask two questions."
"Please ask away.”
“I want to begin making plans for Eliza's birthday, but here’s my dilemma. With the baby due a week before Eliza's birthday, the timing and being able to do both get very interesting. Yet, I want to ensure we celebrate Eliza's birthday."
"Eliza filled me in some of the history between you two, and why she first told me her family was lost at sea."
Bethany chuckled. "She's been using that line and story for years ..."
“Actually, it explains a lot and why she takes ‘selfies’ non-stop. She told me she never saw pictures of herself when she was a kid. It’s like she’s making up for lost time, as if she’s trying to ensure no one forgets about her.”
“It’s true. I don’t know how much she’s told you, but our parents’ marriage began to unravel around the time Eliza was born. They got a divorce, and our mom took care of us and held it all together. Looking back, mom did an incredible job, but one of the consequences of the divorce was that Eliza never got as much attention as I did at the same age.”
“Despite her bragging about her followers on social media, Eliza wants to be ahead of the pack. She doesn’t want to be a follower; she doesn’t want to be left behind.”
Bethany nodded, amazed by how well Henry read the situation. “It’s why I began following Eliza on Instagram. But what she doesn’t realize is when we were kids, I got a little sick and tired of getting all the attention. Sometimes, I wanted to hide away; sometimes, I envied what it would’ve been like to be a little more anonymous.”
Henry nodded, another new insight into the Dooley family learned. “Whatever happened in the past, I’m glad she’s talking to you and to your mom again.”
“I am, too. I missed her. We’re family, and it’s something I’ve been reminding her over the years.”
“As have I very recently.”
“It’s a big reason why I want to shine the spotlight on her. It’s been a long time since I took part in Eliza’s birthday.”
“Let me guess. Eliza goes to a club to get ‘white girl wasted’ and plasters pictures of her evening on social media.”
“Yeah. And I got married to get out of that scene, and my husband isn’t much for the club scene either.”
“Since my own birthday, I’ve been thinking about her birthday, too. Did she ever tell you what she did for me?”
She shook her head. “What happened?"
"In short, she got me concert tickets to see Blues Traveler, a favorite band of mine from way back. She broke into my house, and snuck my friends and colleagues in to surprise me with a birthday party after the concert.”
"She did all that?"
"At the time, I reacted poorly; I behaved like an ungrateful idiot. Generally because I can’t recognize fun even when it’s staring at me in the face. But I realized she put in a lot of effort for my birthday, in a way to help reconcile her own feelings about her own ‘forgotten’ birthdays. And I understood she wanted to make me feel special on my birthday."
Bethany nodded in approval of her sister’s actions. “Wow, that’s amazing. But you said she broke into your house?”
Henry chuckled. “Yes, she did. I was furious for about a second, but I realized with Eliza that once she’s set her mind on something, she’s an unstoppable force of nature.”
“How did she break into your house?”
“Technically, she didn’t. She’d been going through a little rough patch, and I gave her a spare key to let her stay in my house.” At Bethany’s look, he quickly added. “While I stayed at a hotel.”
“She hasn’t returned the spare key?”
“No, she still has it.”
These two have a very interesting relationship. ”All right then. But do you understand why I'd like to make this year a special birthday for Eliza?"
"Yes, I do. I should warn you I’m not the kind of guy who has a standard definition of fun.”
“Which means …?”
“… I’m the kind of guy who likes leaving early to beat highway-traffic.”
“I see.”
“But,” he paused for emphasis. “It’s time I made an active change in this regard. I would be happy to help, and I will do my best, but I can’t promise my ideas will be best, or if they’re any good at all. It’s okay if you simply let me know.”
“Me giving a last word on planning a party? That’s kinda my thing, so yes, I think I can do that.” She replied with a little smile.
“Eliza is my friend, and I’d like to repay her in kind.” He saw her nod in approval. “But you had a second question for me.”
“I do.” Bethany paused, momentarily unsure whether she should go with ‘gentle’ or ‘brute force’. She decided on ‘direct.’ “What's really going on between you and my sister? She breaks into your place, and she still has your spare key. I bring water and bananas to a big race, and you stay away because Eliza forbids you?"
"What? How …?”
"You forget I was standing right there in front of you, and I saw your reaction to her demand. For anyone who was looking and I was looking by the way, it was kinda hard to miss the body language you two had: together yet apart.”
Come on! Does everyone and the whole world want Eliza and me together?!
"I think you're mistaken.” Henry replied. “First of all, we are not married, and second, we are not even a couple."
"But you want to be? I mean, you want to be with her?”
He sighed. "Bethany, that is a long and complicated conversation." One phone call to a coffee meet, and I'm already unburdening myself to Eliza's sister.
"When I last spoke with Eliza, she couldn't stop talking about you. To quote her, you are ‘a sharply-dressed man with ridiculous bowties and an unnatural love of salad'. Frankly, I think it's a little weird."
"Weird? How? That I love salad?”
“Yeah, kinda. But no; it’s not that. Isn't she seeing someone? That guy who was also in the mud race? What's his name? Freddy?"
"Yes, that's him."
“Eliza said you're her friend, which means you have her back.”
"I admit it's a little more than that, but yes, that's the gist of it."
"So then, what do you think about Eliza and Freddy?"
He chuckled. “Your mom asked me that same exact question.”
“She did? You spoke with my mom?”
“Eliza called your mom. As I was passing by, she saw me, and asked me to chat with your mom. I guess I’ve covered almost all members of the Dooley family. All I have to do now is to speak with your father to complete the set.”
A shadow passed over Bethany’s face before she masked it again with practiced ease. “Perhaps.”
He shelved that look of hers for another time; there was a lot he didn’t know about their family, and the Dooley girls would’ve had a rough time when their parents divorced. He also suspected Eliza had more difficulty adapting than Bethany.  But that was for another time, because for now, he had Bethany’s question to answer.
“I think Eliza and Freddy seem suited for each other, and they seem to be happy."
"'Seem'? You have to know more; surely you’ve seen more. You all work at the same company ..."
"I don't get in the way between Eliza and Freddy ..."
"And yet, Eliza spent the majority of our last two phone conversations talking about you. That’s weird. If there’s nothing happening between you two …”
"I'm also her advisor: did she tell you that?"
"To some extent. But there's no way you're just her advisor."
"There's nothing going on, Bethany. Surely in your conversations, she must be saying more about Freddy …” Isn’t she?
This guy is in serious denial. "Henry, as Eliza’s friend, what do you really think about her relationship with Freddy?”
It was one question he had tried not to examine too deeply. But with Bethany waiting for an answer, the sudden attention directed him to the only conclusion.
"On the road they're tracking, I project they will not last the year."
Now we're getting somewhere, even if he sounded like he was talking about a business transaction. "Oh? So you are hoping for something to happen between you and my sister ..."
"That's not what I said. I meant that ..."
“You haven't completely rejected the possibility of you and Eliza ..."
"That's clever, Bethany. What I'm saying is that they're engaging in a purely physical relationship, and based on the changes I've seen in her, she's going to want more. In their relationship, I mean. And it's unclear if they're going to arrive to the same conclusion at the same time ..."
Afraid she'd completely crossed the line, Bethany softened and stopped her questioning. “I’m sorry for giving you a hard time, Henry. It feels like I just got my sister back, and I don't want to see her hurt."
Henry grinned, partly from relief and partly with understanding. "I get it; I really do. I don’t want to see her hurt either.”
That’s interesting, Bethany thought. Stands to reason he and Eliza are close. But I wonder if he’s saying he feels protective in order to avoid examining his reluctance to see how good he and Eliza might be together. Even though I’ve not spent more than 30 minutes in total with this man, he reminds me of all the bookish nerdy guys I got to meet and know in college. I like him already. So, their relationship is worth checking out, but not today.
”OK, I had some ideas about throwing a party …”
They tossed ideas back and forth for the next thirty minutes. Bethany and Henry agreed to have a big birthday party for her, but neither was sure about the right number of people, or the right people, for that matter. They agreed booking a night club was an option, or better yet, booking a hall with a DJ. No clowns, however; definitely, no clowns. Henry brought up the idea of a big screen with a constant slideshow of Eliza’s selfies, in addition to Eliza’s best photographed moments when she was young, if Bethany could find any.
“You may have to ask your Mom about that, but I think it’s best if we kept the circle to the two of us for the time being.”
“I agree,” Bethany replied. “Eliza might not be totally on board with that, but it’s a good idea all the same. But I just thought of something. If we’re doing all of this for her now, what the hell are we going to do for her 30th birthday?”
“I don’t wanna know. At least not now …”
Bethany laughed at the crazy thought. At the ringing, she answered her smartphone. "Oh hi, Peter! I'm in Burbank having coffee with my sister's colleague and friend. Yes, I’m on my way to you now. Love you. Bye!” She disconnected the call. “Henry, I’m sorry to cut this short, but I have to leave ..."
“It’s okay, Bethany; I should get back to the office."
They exited The Coffee Room, and as they walked to her BMW, Henry gave recommendations for the best way out of Burbank north to Palmdale.
"OK, thanks. Henry, it was great to meet with you. Thank you for taking time out of your busy work day."  
They shook hands. “It’s my pleasure. I’m very happy to have taken the time and meet with you. Eliza is important to me and you’re her family. We'll talk again, and we’ll begin making arrangements."
“Henry, please promise me you won’t say anything to her about our plans. If she gets wind of something, she’ll be ruthless to find out what’s going on. In fact, we may have to set up a secondary plan to throw her off the scent.”
“It won’t be easy …”
“… because you two spend a lot of time with each other. Did I mention that’s weird?”
“Yes, you have. I guess it is a little weird. But it is what it is, Bethany. But please remember that I don’t get in between Eliza and Freddy.” Much.
“I can see why she likes you.”
“Excuse me?”
“I think she feels safe with you. She trusts you. Explains why she tells you everything.”
“Did she tell you that?”
“No, she hasn’t.”
“Well, It’s because I’m her advisor.”
“I thought we’d gotten past that. You’re much more than her advisor.”
“Maybe. Well, I like to think so. And I think it’s becoming more complicated. Truth is, Bethany, she makes me see the world in a very different light. She can often be exasperating, but I think I’m a better person when she’s around.”
“That’s a good start, Henry. It always is.”
He nodded, a thoughtful look on his face. “I promise not to tell Eliza. But once we get started, I think we’ll have to roll quickly.”
“Thanks again for meeting with me, Henry. I’ll call you again in a few weeks.”
Bethany waved at Henry as she pulled out of her parking spot. Watching her drive away, he had much to contemplate.
I got to meet and talk to Bethany. We had a very meaningful conversation which included a few more details about her family.  And out of all things in my life, I can’t believe I’m going to plan a party. And not just any party: it’s a birthday party for Eliza, and I’m going to work with Bethany! I never thought my life would ever involve so much around one person. But I guess it’s never too late to change. And speaking of late, time I get a move on back to work …
Chapter 3 of 3 : A man of (in)action
Stepping out of his car parked in KinderKare’s basement garage, he checked his watch. Looks like I’ll make my scheduled tele-conference in time.
The elevator ride was usually a blank for him, especially hidden among the masses of the morning rush. Mid-afternoon however, he was alone in the elevator, allowing him a few minutes to contemplate his meeting with Bethany.
I didn’t know how a sudden meeting with Bethany would go, but I like Eliza’s sister. Talking to Bethany today led to some new insights about Eliza. I’m sure there are some real quirks to the Dooleys, like there are with all families. I wonder what Eliza would think if she met my parents. No, don’t go there; not yet anyway. Anyhow, it’ll be fun and interesting to get to know Bethany a little bit better, and it would allow for a different and more complete perspective on what’s made Eliza the woman she is today. All the ups and downs, bumps and bruises, the highs and lows …
‘Ding!’ chimed the elevator, and the doors opened to the building’s penthouse level. He thought about how perceptive Bethany had been about him and Eliza. And even after his short conversation with their mother, how deeply perceptive the Dooley women were was a useful piece of knowledge, even if it might prove dangerous to him in the long run.
But there was one Dooley in particular he was thinking about now: exasperating, can’t keep her phone down; bright, sharp, kind and gentle soul, beautiful freckles, light green eyes, and those red tresses he’d always longed to run his fingers through. Out of all the people in the company, the first person he’d see when he turned the corner would be …
“Eliza.” Who had turned the corner into reception with her head down to her smartphone.
“Hi, Henry!”
“Hey.”
“Soooo, anything interesting happen while you were out?”
She knows! No, there’s no way. Unless Bethany called Eliza? No, Bethany’s not going to tell, and it’s supposed to be a surprise birthday party, months from now. Right?
“No, nothing special,” Henry supplied. “Ran a couple of errands.”
Eliza gave him the once over. “Are you sure you don’t have something to tell me? Because it looks like you do.”
“No, Eliza, there’s nothing to tell.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Charmonique returning to reception.
“You’re hiding something from me, and I don’t like it.”
“Well, I’ m afraid you’ll have to get used to it.”
“You hiding something from me, or the fact that it pisses me off you don’t always tell me stuff?”
“Yes.”
“Aaaaaah! You’re so stubborn.”
“Takes one to know one.”
Is Henry giving me lip? “Come on, Henry. Tell me.” She stuck out her lower lip for full effect.
“You know that doesn’t work on me.” As much as it used to.
“Wait, so there’s something I do that works on you? Gotta go through that list …”
“That is not meant to be a challenge, Eliza.”
“And yet, I feel it is, Henry. What if I asked Charmonique to give me your parents’ contact information?”
Charmonique raised an index finger in their direction, keeping her head down and eyes trained on the computer screen. “You two leave me out of this …”
Okay now he was irritated. “Where’d that come from? Are you blackmailing me? Here’s a newsflash, Eliza: this has nothing to do with my parents.”
“See? Was that so hard? Sooooo … this has to do with someone else?”
“Are you fishing? Because that doesn’t work very well …”
“You gotta give me better bait …”
“We’re not playing this game, Eliza.”
“And you’re no fun! Look, I know someone called about me, because …”
Henry looked at Charmonique. “… because Charmonique told you a woman called me concerning you.”
Charmonique shrugged. “What can I say, Henry: sistahs gotta stay true.”  She held her hand high, palm out, which Eliza duly high-fived. But it was clear to Henry Charmonique hadn’t recognized Bethany’s voice on the phone.
Henry voiced the thought the moment he had it. “What if it was someone who’s been eyeing me and wanted to check and be sure you weren’t in the picture? That, you know … we aren’t dating?” He air-quoted the word ‘dating’ for effect.
Charmonique stopped typing. Eliza stopped talking. Both stared at him for a long moment, before both fell into chuckles which turned to full-on laughter.
“What?!” He asked in confusion.
Charmonique piped in first. “Don’t get me wrong, Henry, but we know what goes in the building, and …”
“… and we know who’s hooking up with who,” Eliza added.
“Whom, Eliza; with whom,” Henry sighed.
“Whatevs, Henry. Look, we are sorry you haven’t been with anyone since Doctor Pee … I mean … Julia. But we’re pretty sure it’s not someone who’s ‘eyeing’ you.” Eliza air-quoted ‘eyeing’ to complete the mocking.
Getting quickly beyond the brief humiliation, Henry really didn’t like keeping things from Eliza, but he promised Bethany. “Seriously, Eliza, I can’t tell you … at least, not yet.”
“SRSLY?!”
“Srsly.”
“You really are not gonna tell me.”
“No, I can’t. At least, not now.”
“Are you even gonna give me a heads up?”
“No,” he replied enigmatically and resignedly.
Eliza huffed a noise of irritation and stomped towards the bullpen. Waiting until Eliza turned the corner, Henry leaned over reception and whispered to Charmonique. "Under no circumstance will you give Eliza my family’s contact information."
"That's gonna cost you, Henry."
Henry sighed. Blackmail all around. "What's it gonna be?"
"You're taking Kevin, Eliza, and me to a Dodgers' game. Mid-levels, infield. Including all food and drink for everyone throughout the entire day. A game in the next few weeks. Tell you what though, I'll pick up the souvenirs."
"Gee, thaaaanks …”
"Do we have a deal?"
"Do I have a choice?"
Charmonique looked him square in the eye. ”You're kidding, right?"
They shook hands. ”You drive a hard deal, Whitaker. You're lucky I actually like all of you. Or at least I thought I did ..."
With Henry muttering to himself the entire way to his office, Charmonique waited until he turned the corner and he was fully out of view. She picked up her phone handset and pressed a button on the console.
A mane of flowing red hair poked out of the bullpen, the person eyeing reception. She crept forward, looking and checking for the presence of another. "Is he gone?"
Charmonique nodded. "He's gone."
"What'd he say?"
"He agreed to take you, me, and Kevin to a Dodgers' game." Charmonique slipped a piece of paper to Eliza.
Eliza looked down at the paper in her hand. "Is this it?"
"That's his parents' home number. Are you sure you really want to do this?"
"He's up to something. The Dooley sense is off the scale, like the one time there was a flashmob and blowout sale on Rodeo ..."
“I don’t have to remind you you’re playing with fire.”
“And yet, I’m the one with red flowing hair like Ariel.”
“That’s not what I mean.”
“I know what you mean, Charmonique. And I know what I’m doing.”
“Trouble is, now I’m mixed in with all of your business …”
“Girl code states that we share in the good and the bad …”
“Girl code doesn’t say anything about getting caught in this messed up triangle that’s you, Freddy, and Henry. And baby girl, next time? I’m gonna exercise my ‘veto’ …”
Eliza laughed, but in the back of her mind, she couldn't help but think that, maybe from now on, she'd have to tread a little more carefully.
Naaaaaah ... what could possibly go wrong?
---> back to story list <---
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uebermenschblog · 8 years
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@comickergirl - all too correct. There was an alarming lack of cloud cover on exterior photography in season 1 of Supergirl (National City, right? LA, cough, SoCal cough). But once the fall and winter comes around in Vancouver, then it gets interesting. 
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If Supergirl moves to Canada for production, can’t WAIT for the explanation as to why National City suddenly has WEATHER.
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uebermenschblog · 8 years
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So many crossover opportunities and possibilities on the CW.
So delicious, I’m drooling.
And it’s time I begin parking my ass in the city of Vancouver. Anyone? Anyone? (crickets) 
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@Bosslogic: Let us welcome #Supergirl to @TheCW @MelissaBenoist <3 (x)
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uebermenschblog · 8 years
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In my humble opinion, this part of the scene deserves some attention.
There is background to be mined, a character to better understand.
“Why is Henry the way he is?” Indeed-i-o, Ms. Doolio
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“Julie and I may grab dinner. Other than that, I was hoping to power-wash my carport, maybe finish this documentary about tiny houses.”
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uebermenschblog · 8 years
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Hey are you working on anymore Heliza fics? I'm missing your updates! :)
Awwwww, how sweet of you to ask. I’m sorry I haven’t responded, because as it’s typically tumblr, I don’t get to see any date- or time-stamp to your message. But fear not, I’ve just completed my 18th Selfie Heliza fic, and I will post it onto my tumblr Heliza collection very soon. But if you must have it, and you must have it now, the story is here.    (4am Eastern Daylight Time / 1am Pacific Daylight Time, May 16th 2016.)
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uebermenschblog · 8 years
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Holy mother of god.
This is when the shit gets real.
And today on Vivien is angry…
Nancy Drew passed on by CBS for being “too female”. Yes, you read that right. Too female. With Sarah Shahi casted as Nancy Drew, this was a chance for CBS to have a show with a woman of color as its lead. But, of course, it was too female for CBS. You want to know something, CBS? The world is too goddamn male for my liking. How many leading males are there on TV? A fucking hell of a lot! I’m glad that CBS feels that it has reached its potential with female leads with Supergirl. Congratulations! One show with a female lead. FEMINISM! Now, y’all can go fuck yourselves. Because for me, a show being “too female” gets me to watch a show. So I hope that once Elementary is off the air that your network crashes and burns and rots in hell. Thanks.
White people in general, once again, have given me a reason to be angry. I talk about Allegiance a lot. Less so now since the show has closed, but the show will always be in my heart. However, after the show was passed by the Tony Awards as ~not worthy~ for even one award, it’s time for people to realize… Diversity doesn’t stop at black and white. Only 3% of nominees were Asian even though Allegiance existed.******* If you really think nobody in Allegiance deserved a nomination, you truly are missing something since Lea Salonga actually exists and is better than all of your (white) faves. 
That’s not really why I’m extremely angry. I’m angry because “fans” of Broadway are angry that people enjoy this musical. There are been COUNTLESS posts about how Allegiance sucked since reviews said so, about how Allegiance didn’t matter, about how Allegiance’s songs and book were shitty, about how Allegiance didn’t deserve to be nominated. What’s even worse is that a good majority of these people probably have not even seen the show, since they’re basing their thoughts off of reviews made by ONCE AGAIN probably white people who don’t understand what this show is actually about. Because newsflash, Allegiance isn’t about the actual internment camps and being historically accurate. This show is about how Japanese-Americans were impacted from their isolation. This show is about finding hope in the form of love and family in a time of despair. This show is about discovering who you are as a Japanese-American. Do you defend yourself from the draft because of your Japanese heritage or do you help fight for you country because you’re an American? The show is about showing the other side of the internment camps. The side in which most Americans don’t know anything about since all Americans cared about was the fact that they won the war. All the Japanese-Americans received was a “sorry about that”. 
I don’t expect those white people reviewing this show to relate Allegiance since they were and never will be in that kind of situation. But what they can and should do is realize that this show is important especially in today’s society. In this America that we live in, racism still prevalent. For example, with the kind of islamophobia being expressed in a certain presidential candidate’s ideals, the show reminds us that history has the ability to repeat itself, and we as Americans have to learn from our past mistakes to make sure we don’t do it again. (And this is the reason why George Takei wanted Trump to see this show.) 
So, the show is important. It’s important to me because the arts has always been looked down upon culturally for making a living. It’s important to me because there has never been a Broadway show written by and for Asians. It’s important to me because I can relate to the struggle of identity that these characters felt. It’s important to me because Asians never get a chance to tell their stories.
And every time one of y’all non-Asian “fans of theatre” try to tell me that this show didn’t get to be recognized by ANY award show gets me furious because I’m sick and TIRED of people telling us that. So shut up. You don’t have to like this show, but you have to recognize its important in musical theatre history. Because like it or not, this isn’t about you.
A thought: If you are head over heels in love with Hamilton and claim to care about representation but are expressing these kinds of statements about Allegiance, you are fake. You don’t care. You don’t care about people of color. Even if you ~love Pippa Soo, you don’t care. So just kindly fuck yourself. Thanks. 
*******Also only 3% were Latinx, but I can’t talk about this situation well enough since I am not Latinx and since I haven’t watched On Your Feet. But still, it feels as if Tony voters told themselves that nominating Hamilton and LMM was enough representation for Latinx people.
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uebermenschblog · 8 years
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Helpful things for action writers to remember
Sticking a landing will royally fuck up your joints and possibly shatter your ankles, depending on how high you’re jumping/falling from. There’s a very good reason free-runners dive and roll. 
Hand-to-hand fights usually only last a matter of seconds, sometimes a few minutes. It’s exhausting work and unless you have a lot of training and history with hand-to-hand combat, you’re going to tire out really fast. 
Arrows are very effective and you can’t just yank them out without doing a lot of damage. Most of the time the head of the arrow will break off inside the body if you try pulling it out, and arrows are built to pierce deep. An arrow wound demands medical attention. 
Throwing your opponent across the room is really not all that smart. You’re giving them the chance to get up and run away. Unless you’re trying to put distance between you so you can shoot them or something, don’t throw them. 
Everyone has something called a “flinch response” when they fight. This is pretty much the brain’s way of telling you “get the fuck out of here or we’re gonna die.” Experienced fighters have trained to suppress this. Think about how long your character has been fighting. A character in a fist fight for the first time is going to take a few hits before their survival instinct kicks in and they start hitting back. A character in a fist fight for the eighth time that week is going to respond a little differently. 
ADRENALINE WORKS AGAINST YOU WHEN YOU FIGHT. THIS IS IMPORTANT. A lot of times people think that adrenaline will kick in and give you some badass fighting skills, but it’s actually the opposite. Adrenaline is what tires you out in a battle and it also affects the fighter’s efficacy - meaning it makes them shaky and inaccurate, and overall they lose about 60% of their fighting skill because their brain is focusing on not dying. Adrenaline keeps you alive, it doesn’t give you the skill to pull off a perfect roundhouse kick to the opponent’s face. 
Swords WILL bend or break if you hit something hard enough. They also dull easily and take a lot of maintenance. In reality, someone who fights with a sword would have to have to repair or replace it constantly.
Fights get messy. There’s blood and sweat everywhere, and that will make it hard to hold your weapon or get a good grip on someone. 
A serious battle also smells horrible. There’s lots of sweat, but also the smell of urine and feces. After someone dies, their bowels and bladder empty. There might also be some questionable things on the ground which can be very psychologically traumatizing. Remember to think about all of the character’s senses when they’re in a fight. Everything WILL affect them in some way. 
If your sword is sharpened down to a fine edge, the rest of the blade can’t go through the cut you make. You’ll just end up putting a tiny, shallow scratch in the surface of whatever you strike, and you could probably break your sword. 
ARCHERS ARE STRONG TOO. Have you ever drawn a bow? It takes a lot of strength, especially when you’re shooting a bow with a higher draw weight. Draw weight basically means “the amount of force you have to use to pull this sucker back enough to fire it.” To give you an idea of how that works, here’s a helpful link to tell you about finding bow sizes and draw weights for your characters.  (CLICK ME)
If an archer has to use a bow they’re not used to, it will probably throw them off a little until they’ve done a few practice shots with it and figured out its draw weight and stability. 
People bleed. If they get punched in the face, they’ll probably get a bloody nose. If they get stabbed or cut somehow, they’ll bleed accordingly. And if they’ve been fighting for a while, they’ve got a LOT of blood rushing around to provide them with oxygen. They’re going to bleed a lot. 
Here’s a link to a chart to show you how much blood a person can lose without dying. (CLICK ME) 
If you want a more in-depth medical chart, try this one. (CLICK ME)
Hopefully this helps someone out there. If you reblog, feel free to add more tips for writers or correct anything I’ve gotten wrong here. 
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uebermenschblog · 8 years
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Stana Katic has some of the best expressions I’ve seen on a detective/captain.
Epic and classic.
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Alright, Captain. Let’s roll. No can do. Captains have to multitask. I’m due for a meeting with the DA, so why don’t you meet with the boys? We can debrief later.
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uebermenschblog · 8 years
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Meeeowww.
Caterwauling, new definition. See also: Dooley, Eliza; The Doolio.
Flustered, new definition. See also: Higgs, Henry; Higgie-baby.
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You can just give it (the jacket) to me tomorrow. No, I really want to give it to you tonight.
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uebermenschblog · 8 years
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Kicking it old school.
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