twohands-oneheart

[twohands-oneheart]

There is no darkness too thick, that His light cannot reach.

No sin too grave, that His blood cannot cover.

No pain too deep, that He cannot understand and hold us through.

Even if others fail us, and we fail ourselves,

He has not, and never will.

No distance, traveled or wandered, seen or felt,

Is father than where Jesus has gone when He went on that cross.

If He can literally go through hell and back 

To bear our iniquities and infirmities, and emerge victorious,

How much more can He reach us from where we are, and rescue us,

If we let Him. 

Yes, the pain is real.

Our vision is clouded, and we can’t hear or fell all this.

But we are so much more than what the voices in our head tell us. 

Not of our own merit, but by His, though we are far from deserving. 

And that more, though it is barely much with all the evidence surrounding it, 

Is still more, enough to give us enough hope for at least another day. 

We hope not in ourselves, or in a world that disappoints just as much as us. 

But our hope goes beyond. 

It doesn’t belong here, but it goes beyond.

And that keeps us going for another day.

Another day at a time. 

[twohands-oneheart]

Imagine for a moment, that you are the sky, and that the stars are all the good things about you.

On a clear and dark night, you see everything. You see countless bright dots, constellations, galaxies, all in their place. And it is good. It is beautiful. You are good. And beautiful.

Then little by little, villages form. Then cities. Buildings and houses with their lamps - not to mention the street lamps- light up. Cars and factories give out smoke that pollute the ground and above. Airplanes and helicopters fly around, and you can see them from up there along with the stars - who become fewer and fewer seen as the nights go.

And then before you know it, the holidays come. You see people, flashing all their man-made Christmas lights and sparklers and fireworks - all beautiful things far brighter than your stars. Suddenly, it is all they see. The children who grow up there longer know that the stars exist. And the grown-ups have forgotten. And now you wonder yourself, do the stars still exist in you? For you cannot see them any more than they can.

Then one day, the clouds descend. Thin at first, they eventually become thicker and thicker until they are heavy enough to release rainshowers of tears that flood the streets. And then after, they remain descended in a fog that obscures everyone's vision. Including yours. And when the night comes, you can see nothing but the fog. No more fireworks. No more lights. No more stars. Just gray. And nothingness. And you wonder if anything existed. If anything mattered. If there are stars that will ever shine again in you.

What would it take for that to happen?

Peace. Quiet. Simplicity. The kind of darkness that sees through all the cloyingly bright things of this world to reveal all the beautiful things inside you.

I can't tell you when you will have that though. I can't tell you when the fog and the clouds will clear, when the fireworks will stop, when the lights will dim and turn off.

But even then... I can tell you this: the stars still exist in the sky, even when you can't see them.

Know that the God of the universe, who placed each of the stars in their rightful place in the heavens, has created you and placed all your stars in the proper place in your sky.

In short, there is good in you. There is beauty in you. Your Heavenly Father placed them there, and they cannot be taken away from you. One day, He will reveal them in His good time, for everyone (including you) to see clearly.

Until then, keep your stars shining anyway. Even when no one sees.

[twohands-oneheart]

I remember being angry and unsafe since a few weeks ago. in a not-so-obvious way. And this is why.

Outraged.

In the car tonight, I exploded.

Earlier this week I had heard about a youth pastor coercing a minor into sex. Another young lady told me she had temporarily left her church because a clique there wouldn’t welcome her (she was apparently “bad” because she showed up late a few times). Another friend of mine was told by the pastor that he wasn’t worth the “investment” to mentor him. A pastor across the street twice my age won’t stop talking trash about me. And on and on.

And I screamed. I punched the steering wheel until my hand curled into a gnarled hook. I nearly flipped the car. I screamed.

“What do You even do God? What do You actually do? No one changes. No one cares. They do want they want anyway. We’re garbage. What do You do?”

I pulled over, stood outside, looked at the stars. They looked like spinning teeth in darkness. I imagined God up there looking down at His fragmented fighting people, taking up the name of Christ but spitting all over His Son and desecrating that pitiful cross.

And I was sure for a moment that God just watches and He doesn’t intervene and He maybe doesn’t care, because no one changes and we do what we want anyway, and maybe He left us to ourselves a long time ago, and this was all a big joke to Him because we all have it so wrong.

“F—k you, God. You could do something. What do You even do? What’s the point? Why should I care? Why am I doing this? Everyone else just does what they want. I’m so tired.”

I yelled some more. I yelled at me. I kept driving.

I can’t say I wrapped this all up in a neat bowtie and that everything is fine now, because I find so much of what I do to be absolutely pointless. I’ve poured out more than I could ever get back, and I know it’s not what I do it for, but as much as I do right, there are a hundred wrongs that will take its place. There are “Christians” who are worse than my most godless friends when we should really be the best: and I just wonder what God actually does. I wonder how we could claim to know Him and still act like everyone else. I wonder how we could know about something called the cross and then just eat our own like the world does.

I’m sorry. I know I’m supposed to be an example. I just feel alone in this. I feel like it’s crazy to be a Christian in a time when no one else cares about anyone, and even Christians are killing each other over doctrine and denominations. I feel stupid for trying to help a single soul when I might as well be teeth spinning in darkness, talking into nothing.

I struggle to believe there is actually a God who wants anything to do with us, because as much as I preach and teach how good He is, everyone still goes on with their ruinous choices, and I’d imagine God is infinitely grievous over our ridiculous self-sabotage.

I have no fight today. I’m outraged to exhaustion. I imagine God feeling much the same way, and I can’t blame Him. And at least with that, I can relate to Him.

— J

[twohands-oneheart]

A letter to God by my 16 year old self

Dear Heavenly Father,

        First of all, I want to thank You a whole lot, for You have done so much for me. You have been my Father, my Savior, my Protector, my Provider, my Best Friend. My trusted Confidante, my first Love… I could go on!!! I also want to thank You because You know everything I'm going through; nothing is hidden from You. and yet, you don't judge me for whatever I think or feel. You just continue to love me no matter what.

        I don't know if You would be surprised with this; then again You're not surprised by anything because You know. But lately, I've been feeling the same things my friends have, in terms of love life. I know, it's part of growing up, and I may be a tad late relatively. But Lord, it kind of scares me, thinking all these new thoughts, especially about the opposite sex. I don't want anything I think or do displease You or cause me to sin against You. Moreover, I don't want anything I say, think or do get in the way of our relationship or block my priorities. That is why I am writing this commitment to You.

        I am aware that if I am not careful, things will go out of hand. It can be hard to control my thoughts, especially as time passes by, so I'm asking for Your help because I know I can't do this alone. It doesn't help that I'm easily swayed by what my heart tells me either. That is why right now, before by emotions get the better of me, I want to commit my thoughts, my actions, and especially my future to You. I'm talking mostly about romance and sex here, so even now I promise to maintain sexually pure for the guy that You have assigned especially for me to spend the rest of my life with.

I also promise to wait for the right time for the right person to come. I'm like the apple You assigned to the top of the tree; only the guy You chose for me would go as far as the top to get me. And I'm willing to wait for that. I won't rush You. After all, You promised me only the best and I'm sure I won't be disappointed. Above all, I promise that nothing or nobody I love will get in the way of the two of us. As they have said, first love never dies. And I believe it's true. That's why for now, and forever, I'm giving You my heart. Even if my heart would beat for another person in the future, it won't be mine to give. It's Yours to give to the guy who you have deemed perfect for me. So if any guy wants me, he's going to have to get through You first!!! And no matter what happens, I promise to put You first in my life always and that I will always love You more than anyone or anything.

:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:

So much wisdom and faith in this letter. This is from a young woman who has been so willing to trust her Lord with everything she had. Even her very heart and future. 

And I ask myself, did she know? Did she know what was in store for her, years after? Did she have any idea how she would be broken, how jaded she would feel after so many would not take her faith seriously and reject her for it? Did she know that she will love so much, only for her to be disappointed? And did she know that her faith will be shaken to its core?

And ultimately, the question is... where is she? Does she still exist?

The only thing I know is that, this person has changed. I have changed, and this person is no longer me. Fortunately, the God she loved remains the same. But she no longer is. 

I tried. I tried so hard to keep her. But I kept losing people, mourned for them til it broke me... until one day, I don’t know when or how exactly, but one day... I lost her too. 

Fortunately, this story is still in process. Her story, my story, has not ended yet.

But right now, this chapter is sad. And I don’t know how to put it any other way. 

[twohands-oneheart]

When people are dying all around us...

Two nights ago, I dreamt my mom got a heart attack. 

We were stuck on an island of sorts, but somehow we were able to make it to the hospital with her hanging on. In the hospital, her condition deteriorated and she fell unconscious in the emergency room. But the doctors were not doing anything. They had no patients; the were just sitting there, eating their food and minding their own business. Occasionally, they would glance at her, hearing my desperate cries for help as she stopped breathing and her heart stopped beating. Finally, one of the doctors stepped in, checked my mother’s heartbeat and breathing, then pronounced her dead without any remorse whatsoever. The grief and the anger I felt was so intense, it woke me up in the middle of the night. 

Thankfully, my mom was okay; I called her right after and she was in my aunt’s house and doing fine. But for a while, I couldn’t sleep, wondering why this dream would come to me. Then it hit like a slap in the face.

How many people are dying, both physically and spiritually? And how many of us Christians are like those doctors in my dream, minding their own business, eating, drinking, making merry... even when there are people dying in their midst? And then pronounce people as “dead”, whether physically or spiritually, when it’s too late (or even when it’s not too late)? 

While a doctor is not invincible in saving lives, and while they have the right to pronounce people as “dead”, they are the people called to do something when someone is dying. In the same way, while Christians can know who is “dead” or “alive” in Christ, and while we cannot save people’s spiritual lives, we can help by praying for them, and sharing the message that saved us in order that they may be saved too from death. Christians (myself included), we have a calling so urgent, yet we are not doing anything! How many people will we allow to die without them knowing about the Jesus that saves?

“How can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them?” (Romans 10:14)

With all due respect, love and grace... we cannot keep hiding our calling. Or hiding from it. 

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” (Matthew 5:14-16)

Even when it hurts, even when there is persecution, ridicule, humiliation coming, we are still called. And we need to act. Pray. Share God’s word. Set examples so that people may see Jesus in us. It is urgent that we become the Christians that God called us to be, doctors and nurses to the dying all around us. 

[twohands-oneheart]

I hear a lot of people saying, “I don’t feel God anymore.” And there’s a lot of guilt there, like they’re not trying hard enough. But “not-feeling-God” doesn’t make you a bad Christian: just an honest one. And maybe our baseline for “feeling-Him” got messed up with a false foundation.Maybe when Life Got Hard, no one taught you a clear theology on pain. Maybe no one mentioned that seasons of doubt, suffering, and detachment are regular valleys in a believer’s life.Those are also the EXACT times we go to God and tell Him everything. To even say, “I don’t feel you right now, God.” You can tell Him that.Most of us think we’ve failed God when we don’t feel Him, when it’s actually that feeling of His absence that can either push you to Him or from Him. He’d much rather it be to Him.

J.S. Park (via jspark3000)

[twohands-oneheart]

An unusual thing about suicidal ideation

This month is World Suicide Prevention Month. I will cut to the point and say that I want to share something about suicidal ideation that people may not realize:

Suicidal ideation is not always wanting to kill yourself. 

If you find this unusual, hang in there and let me explain myself. 

In psychiatry, we are trained never to ask directly “Have you ever attempted or thought of killing yourself?” Especially when the stigma around suicidality is very high, most people won’t admit it, unless they are on the very brink. Instead, we are to ask this question first:

Are there instances wherein you felt that life was no longer worth living?

You see, it starts from there: Suicidal ideation starts from the idea that life is not worth living anymore. 

From there, it builds up. We then ask if there are times when the person wants to die, has he/she made any plans, has he/she attempted to carry them out, etc. 

It is worth mentioning that there are two types of suicidal ideation: active and passive. Active ideation is where the person wants to die and makes efforts to do so, while passive ideation is where the person does not have a death wish but does not want to continue living and thus makes no plans at all. 

So while the person with active suicidal ideation should be given utmost attention no matter what, we must not also forget those who are suffering in silence, lest it progresses into something worse. We treat a stage 4 cancer more aggressively, but a stage 2 or 3 cancer should also be detected so it can be treated accordingly as well. 

How do we do this? Even simple things like being kind, helping others alleviate their suffering and its sources, speaking encouragements, giving hugs, being patient, asking how one is doing... i could go on and on... Every small thing has the potential to arouse a person from his/her sense of despair and give him/her another reason to keep going in life, even for just one more day. Every small thing has the potential to make one’s state better, while directly and indirectly saving someone’s life. 

Finally, we need to talk about this more. How can we detect those who are having it rough to the point of feeling that life is not worth living, if we can’t even talk about it in a safe and nonjudgmental way? I’m not saying that it is okay to end your life. But we will have a better chance of making things right if we talk about it. 

:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:

P.S. If you are feeling any of these things, I advise you do any of the following:

1. Talk to someone. Find professional help in the form of a psychiatrist/ psychologist/counselor. Or ask a trusted friend or family member for help in consulting one. 

2. If you can’t afford in any way to get help face-to-face, this website called 7cupsoftea may help. They have trained listeners that can help you out. 

3. Call a hotline. In the Philippines, the hotlines are 804-HOPE(4673) and 0917558-HOPE(4673). 

4. Go to the nearest hospital if you are actively suicidal and are actually on the verge of attempting, or know someone who is. Hopefully they will have the facilities and training to accomodate your case. If not, they will tell you where to go; they should. 

5. Finally, HANG IN THERE. Chances are, you don’t want life to end; you just want the pain to end so bad. Please. There are people who can help you end the pain without you having to end your life. Just hang in there for one day at a time, and let us help you. Please. 

[twohands-oneheart]

What does it mean to be a Christian? What sets Christians apart from the rest of the world?

Is it our deeds? Ummm, not entirely. For Christians are not perfect, and is going through different things. Hindi naman ng Christians called out for doing good; some are known for their not-so-good deeds too. Are we to set a standard of goodness in order to be declared Christians? Surely that would not be right.

Is it praying a prayer of salvation? The 4SL that prayer demonstrates faith. While I agree, I can’t help but think about those who prayed that prayer for different reasons. Not to judge anyone’s hearts, but there really are people who pray the sinner’s prayer to get something for themselves, or out of fear to avoid eternal damnation.

It bothers me that there are people who once call themselves Christians. And yet these people can be as lost as unbelievers, or knowing the word of God in their minds but not in their hearts. Some of these people, I find, eventually not just fall away, but can’t help but attack the word of God, its contents, and eventually its author. If the gospel of Jesus Christ is really that great, then those who have really accepted it in faith… how can they reject it like that?

"You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness.” (Romans 8:9-10)

Then I realize, and this passage reinforces that realization: True Christians have the spirit of God in them. It is that spirit of God that reinforces true faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ, and compels them to surrender to it. Not just in that moment, but through a process of change that lasts throughout the Christian’s lifetime. It is the spirit of God that allows them to understand the word of God, little by little, not just by reason but for it to reach the very core of a person. It makes them more resilient in adversity spiritually, allowing them to depend on the grace of God in struggles, as well as keep faith during trials and temptations. It reminds them of the world to come, that they are not a part of this world and that there is more to what there is now. And more.

Without the spirit of God in you, you are not a true Christian. Without the spirit of God in you, the word Christian is just a label, and you will be compelled to go back into the world just because it is impossible to really maintain it on your own.

A hard teaching, I know. But I believe God made it like this, so that no one could boast before Him. To prove that indeed, no one can earn their salvation, that no one can be a Christian without depending on the source of Life itself.

The question now is: do you have the spirit of God in you?

If yes, thank the Lord right now for His grace, and for the privilege of having Him to empower you in every facet of your being. Also thank Him for the gift of belonging to Him, and that there is no more condemnation for you (Romans 8:1).

If not, ask the Lord right now to fill you with His spirit. You can be sure, and you can know that you are a Christian. But you cannot do it without God Himself. So I urge you, pray and ask the Lord. It is better to be sure than anything else.

If you’re not sure, ask the Lord to make it clear to you. At some point, you will know. The Lord will reveal it to you (Phil. 3:15). It is of paramount importance that you know where you stand.

Another thing: If you are struggling with your faith, that doesn’t mean automatically you’re not a true Christian anymore. There will always be temptations, trials, doubts, and struggles. The question is, is the spirit of God compelling your own spirit to face all these things with Him still in mind? Only you can answer that.

Lastly, this post is not meant to judge anyone. It isn’t a looking glass, so much as it is a mirror for self-reflection. Your identity in Christ is between you and God. But because it is so, it is hard to make sure. That is why I compel you to make sure. It is never to early to do so, and we will never know when it will be too late.

[twohands-oneheart]

When we think Christians hurt other people...

Yesterday, I read a story on facebook that angered me.It was about an atheist whose parents ignored and shunned him upon finding out he was an atheist. It eventually reached a point wherein his parents called him a demon and made him leave the house for being an atheist. For the record, I was angry at the parents. I am no stranger to stories like these (for there are many more like them, perhaps not as exaggerated but no less grave), people who are unwilling to seek God because of people around them who have mistreated them because their beliefs are different. People surrounded by Christians who share things far from joy and hope. And it breaks my heart, because the Lord is so much more than what these Christians have shown. A part of me wanted to judge them and question if they were Christians at all, but I realized it's not in my place to do so.  After much processing of feelings and sleep... I realized something the following day (today): The original post did not indicate what religion or belief system the parents had! And yet I assumed - without reading the comments, i might add - that the parents are Christians! When I read the comments, a lot of them did too, especially on my feed. And all day, a question gnawed at me... 

Why? 

 Why do people - both believers and unbelievers - assume that when someone has hurt or mistreated a particular type of person... Or maybe any person at all... A Christian comes to mind? I still do not have a concrete answer to that question, but I do admit it doesn't come with an unfounded basis. Which is sad. It is a very far cry from the people Christians are called to be. For this is what Christians are called to be and do: "... in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander." (1 Peter 3:16) 

Perhaps I shouldn't care about what other people say or think. But I should care that a Christian's - no, CHRIST's - reputation is being slandered WITH REASON. Dear brothers and sisters in Christ, we need to act! In righeousness AND in grace and in FULL love towards those who need it. What use are our words in sharing our faith if our lives do not back it up! So much is at stake. 

And to you who has been hurt... To you who assume in the comments and in your thoughts that Christians are out to hurt you and everyone else, I just want to say sorry. Believe me, Jesus Christ is more that we Christians can ever hope to mirror. We can never be perfect, and we may not reach the expectations you have put us in. But whatever our flaws are, Jesus Christ makes up for and more. At least give HIM a chance. Sorry kung medyo madrama, but this has bothered me for sometime now. And I feel that I have to speak up about this. Someone has to. We need to talk about it, with honesty and in view of the reality and the hope there is in God. And then maybe, things would be different.

[twohands-oneheart]

Hello beloved wonderful friends!

This is the fourth part of new sermon series called “Why You Christian?”  It explores the question of why anyone would ever want to be a Christian.

This message is titled: The Perfectly Balanced Love That Does Not Compromise Truth.

It’s about how we approach others of different beliefs and lifestyles, and how we can love them like Jesus without holding back on truth.

Stream above or download here!

  Some things I talk about are: The injection that “cures gay people,” the constant tug of war between being gracious and being truthful, the outrage at your friend who is being used by a friend but can’t see it, having the cool relaxed mom and the strict scary dad, dealing with a friend who’s obsessed with crazy pseudo-romantic longings, the red-faced preachers who hate homosexuals, how Jesus perfectly balanced love without compromise, and a phone call with my gay friend.

Be blessed and love y’all!

— J

[twohands-oneheart]

Why I Don't Give Straight Answers About Homosexuality (Because Everyone Starts Yelling)

Whenever someone asks me “Is homosexuality a sin?” — I back off the question like a nuclear reactor core in my living room.

Because no one is actually asking the question with a sincere heart to know the answer. Not really. It’s almost always a trap to box you inside a preprogrammed prison. Our dichotomous categories can only allow for “bigotry and homophobia” or “liberal immorality,” and no one is even pretending to have a rational conversation about it.

I’m a Christian, which means I follow Jesus. Nothing more, nothing less. If I’m pressed hard enough, I’ll say, “I believe what the Bible says about marriage, but I also believe I’m called to love like Jesus does — and he would be loving you, me, and gay people, who are also people.”

But there is more to this answer.

- Everyone is so much more than their sexual identity.

A gay person is not just a gay person. No one can be defined by a single issue, because no one is a single-issue person. Even if I “solved someone’s sexual conflicts,” whatever that means, then this person still has to pay their bills and think about the future and deal with anxiety and stress and insecurity, just like all of us do. If you quit porn or your drug habit or decided not to get the abortion, there are still tons of other areas in your life that need wisdom for the rest of your life. Raising the issue of sexuality merely reduces a person to an issue, but they’re a whole person with a whole life with many other real concerns. To simply ask about “homosexuality as sin” is woefully narrow-minded and presumes a response that’s isolated in a non-existent vacuum.

- A question of entrapment is often used as a political platform to preach to the choir and self-promote — it is NOT used to create dialogue.

So when the sensational news anchor or the red-faced preacher brings up the gay issue, they’re just aiming for a collective self-absorbed approval for their own dogmatic ghettos. They’re not even trying to make bridges; they’re merely reinforcing their own ivory towers.

- It’s not the church’s job to legislate morality.

However I feel about marriage: it’s not my job as a Christian to influence Capitol Hill into bending to my will. Most times everyone assumes that I’m picketing for certain laws to pass or that everyone “legally” has to believe like I do — but honestly, I’d rather be in line to volunteer at the homeless shelter or giving up my salary to fight human trafficking. The church is called to be a beacon of hope, not a legislative hammer. Jesus kept Caesar and God at a distance: because neither can ultimately inform the other.

- There is a false dichotomy of binary opposition when we force two sides against each other: and it doesn’t work.

At some point in history, because we all love to take sides and demonize the other, we’ve all broken down into political parties that stand on what we’re against. We keep doing it this way when no one stops to think: Why are we fighting like this? It’s because this is how it’s been done since forever, and we never pause to look at why we wave flags from an indoctrinated camp. We also never pause to realize: most people in a “camp” are much more layered and nuanced than we dare to believe, and we tragically don’t give others more credit than our arguments will pose.

As Timothy Keller has said, the Christian is often called towards an unpredictable posture in politics and theology, because Christians can migrate between categories by remaining above them. We are contra-categorical. Not for the sake of being “transcendent,” but we rise above it almost by accident. It’s what Jesus came to destroy at the cross. This is not some “third category” like libertarianism.

It’s the same way that Jesus was able to navigate between aristocrats and commoners, between Roman officials and blind beggars, between synagogue leaders and the demon-possessed, between the woman at the well and the Roman centurion and the rich young ruler and the criminal who hung next to him. He didn’t condone their moral positions, but he also didn’t coerce them into change. No one could pin down Jesus’s politics, because he played no games. And we don’t have to either. We can hold multiple points of views within the same tension, because we can have grace for others while maintaining the truth in balance. To be Christlike is to confront life with life.

- My job is to work on my own relationships, not judge anyone else’s. My job is to show you what I’m about, not what I’m against.

Imagine for a moment if every Christian marriage was able to pull it together and show the absolute beauty of what Christ offers. Not perfectly, but passionately. Not with manipulation or coercion or fear, but with compassion and gentle insistence. The church at large has really revoked their own right to speak on marriage until they can at least be a decent example. If we could accurately convey Gospel-centered relationships in the church, we might have a chance to see others be attracted to God’s very best. And even until then, we’re still called to love others regardless.

- We can disagree and I will still love you. Won’t you love me too?

I’m very much getting weary of being cut off by every side in this conversation. I’ve fought for gay civil rights AND promoted traditional marriage, so I feel the heat from both. I’ve been called too soft on the issue; others would say I’m a bigot. Fine. But there’s such a thing as bigotry against supposed bigots, just as much as there’s supposed bigotry against liberals. It’s easy to yell “homophobia” or “liberal media” whenever you get a whiff of disagreement — because actually getting to know someone is hard sleeve-rolling work.

I’m looking for answers. No Christian would ever be ashamed to admit: they don’t know it all yet. They are in discovery, a constant in media res. I want to be teachable, to hear new things, to have honest conversations. But I get shut down too quickly on both sides, and it’s downright disheartening. I’m tired. It seems we’re too lazy to speak for both grace and truth, and we simply want to yell against a faceless enemy all the time.

This is why I cannot say I’m pro-life or pro-choice. I can’t say I’m “for” or “against” gay marriage. I’m simply pro-people. I love you, like Jesus does, and that’s that. Can we talk about it? Can I ask questions? Can we not entrap each other? Can we lay down our assumptions? Maybe over coffee? And maybe we won’t be afraid to explore what’s at stake, together. Maybe we will be better informed to change our minds. And whether or not we come around to the same place: I will still love you like crazy, because you’re a fellow God-created human being, and you deserve the same dignity as I do.

— J.S.

[twohands-oneheart]

Because I am currently LSSed on this: https://youtu.be/Lkm5KnBxFvQ Watch it, i promise it is really awesome! :)

[twohands-oneheart]

Imma just let the verse speak for itself :)

Note: I just got this from a brush lettering coloring book. Not my original design, just filled in the colors. :)) Day 4 of brush lettering and day 5 of posting bible verses! Today I invite @sophiapraseapyrine and ate @janabananashake to post bible verses with me for 7 days, and fill our fb/ig accounts up with God’s word :)

[twohands-oneheart]

A few days ago, I was on a boat with friends to Siquijor island, and it rained. But before it rained,  we saw the rain clouds in another area not so far away, some of them spewing out rain, all of then low and gray. 

I failed to take a picture of it, so I made a rudimentary painting here. The brown part represented the cloud releasing all its rainwater on a boat. The particles of light shone differently where there was rain, so it looked like a waterfall on a cloud. It was beautiful! 

At that time, the still small voice of God told me, “See the rain? You do not like being under it and getting all wet. But from afar it looks beautiful.” And I realized, He was right. 

Similarly, when we go through seasons where the clouds of depression loom over us, and the rains of trials and heartbreak threaten to come over us any moment... it’s difficult for us to believe that something beautiful can come out of these things. And yet the Lord sees what we cannot yet see: that these seasons are as clear as the clear blue sunny skies that we have in our lives. 

So whether you are in a season of clear blue skies, or dark rain clouds... Rest in knowing that both are created by the Lord for a purpose. And that both can be beautiful. 

#depression heartbreak seasons rain clouds painting beautiful

[twohands-oneheart]

Day 3 of brush lettering and day 4 of posting bible verses! Also, i do tend to shorten verses in the interest of space, but i encourage you to check with me if these verses are in context with the rest of the passage. Today I tag my 2 Faiths to do the same. Pun not intended hahahaha.

[twohands-oneheart]

Chose this verse in case anyone needs it today :)

Day 2 of bible verse lettering and day 3 of posting (unconventional) bible verses. Tagging ate @sarseeeeee and @yavannasings (pag may time ka lang, alam kong toxic ka ngayon) to do this with me :)

[twohands-oneheart]

How do you get through?

A few days ago, I found out that someone I know has high-functioning depression. And that a friend knew someone with it. And so did another friend. It then struck me that a lot of people are suffering from this, some hidden (like me), some too obvious to hide. 

One of my friends with a friend with depression then asked me, “how do you get through it?”. So I write this blog for these people and for their friends and family. All these are based on research and personal experience. So, here goes:

1. Know thyself

This is a time to observe how you function. What are your strengths and weaknesses? What triggers your depression, and what helps alleviate it? Answering these questions take a while, but they are well worth it. For as you discover these, you discover thinking patterns you can either stop or encourage. You can also take small steps, like acknowledging and stopping triggers, that go a long way.

2. Find a healthy outlet. Or two. Or ten.

Outlets help you get your mind off the depression. They are, however, not meant to be an escape hatch for you to avoid your problems. They can make them much more bearable though. Some activities put your mind in a saner position for this purpose. I personally use art forms like music and calligraphy. Exercise and spending time in nature are good ideas too, as they release happy hormones called endorphins which make you a bit happier.

3. Seek the social company of supportive, understanding people. Otherwise, do not let them in. This goes for both online and offline interactions.

The truth is, every interaction counts for the depressed person. A social interaction can either make you feel better or trigger something. You would prefer to have the former and avoid the latter. If a relationship is toxic and removable, remove it! And do not discount online interactions; they can affect you just as much as the offline ones, if not more. 

To those who have friends with depression, the small things matter. It’s good to ask how they’re doing, although don’t expect a solid answer all the time. If they have something to say, just listening with be a big thing. Give them a hug or a pat on the shoulder if a hug is too much. Feed them if they are not fond of eating on their own. There are so many things you can do. But it all boils down to just being there for them. 

4. Celebrate the small achievements.

There will be days when you would like to stay in bed or stay home all day. There will be days wherein you would like to withdraw from people and stay in a corner in school/work. There will be days where a morsel of food will be too much for your stomach to bear. There will be days where your to-do-list will be too overwhelming. I could go on and on… 

But the point is, on these days, take things one step at a time. And celebrate each step that you make, because it is a step forward. Celebrate each step you make out of bed, each piece of food that you eat, each person you talk to, each step you make on your to-do-list. Because each step is a step you make towards living, towards getting through. 

5. Seek medical intervention if necessary.

Seek professional medical intervention if: —you find yourself unable to do normal activities on a regular basis (like skipping classes/work) —you have been experiencing symptoms (sad feelings, lack of happiness/pleasure, fatigue, changes in sleeping/eating habits, feeling worthless, it feels hard to move quickly) for more than a month and  it never goes away —you feel like life is not worth living anymore  (note: if you’re suicidal, you can call hotlines  like 804-4673 or 0917-854-9191 for help. or call trusted friends/family. or go to the nearest hospital emergency room.) —if you think that you need it. 

On medication: I believe that medication is not for everyone. But I also believe that medication should be given to those who really need it. See a licensed psychiatrist for more information on this. Also… It is not an meant to be an instant relief from depression, but it helps alleviate some of the fog. Neither is it pleasant; antidepressants contain a lot of unpleasant side effects and can cost a lot. But for those who need it, it is worth it. 

6. Pray.

Most people say that “just pray” is a simple platitude that you say when you have nothing else to say. I disagree. When I say pray, I mean tell God anything and everything you feel. Ask for help. Cry out to Him. Be angry if you need to. He can handle everything you hurl at Him and more. The Lord is there for the brokenhearted as much as He is there for the joyful, perhaps more. Psalm 34:18 says, 

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted    and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

7. Be honest and realistic.

Do not be too hard on yourself if the depression keeps you from doing certain things or achieving certain goals at a certain pace. The reality is, it can be debilitating. Sometimes it can keep you from doing things normal people don’t. And that’s okay. Depression doesn’t make you less of a person. Know your limitations and work with them. 

On the other hand, depression doesn’t have to be disabling. You can still do a lot of things while you have depression; it’s just going to take a lot more effort. But they can be done. As much as possible, do things at your own pace. Work with what you have. We would like to have the pace or the abilities of others or the people we used to be, but we don’t. But we have what we have now. 

8. Keep going.

As Dory said, “Just keep swimming.”

I think of depression as a season that may be longer for some people than others. Thing is, the only way out is through. And while it is not easy, this can be a time to build you as much as it is to break you. Whatever happens, just don’t give up. Hang in there. 

#depression #mental health #awareness