travelgoalsandarterioles

[travelgoalsandarterioles]

It is not a good grip I have on my will to live. I've put myself in a safe place, with a good trajectory and good progression, like an escalator that will continue to take me to higher levels of establishment and continue to make me even safer which is a really good thing bc I can feel how hard I would yeet my entire being away if I wasn't tied to so many future promises and obligations and social ties. Like there is not much I have internally other than a desire to continue the forward and upward inertia I've built. When I think about the first night I spent on the floor seriously debating killing myself it's with regret that I made the wrong decision and resignation now that I have to live with that decision. And it's a mark of huge progress and growth that those feelings come statically and without the drive to revise that decision.

[travelgoalsandarterioles]

I wish, I so wish you were the person that you seem to think you are.

#gaslighting #tumblr as a diary ig

[travelgoalsandarterioles]

Boomers Are Killing The Paltry American Social Safety Net, And Also Each Other

after the decade of things millennials are killing, this one deserves an article

#no one is protected more by vaccinations and mask wearing than boomers #and yet #who is out here #refusing to take basic precautions to preserve their own lives and the lives of their peers #we've seen social security's demise coming for decades #and with it #apparently #is going to come the death of socially funded health insurance #i just #things are real real bad #that's my take #that's it #that's the tweet

[travelgoalsandarterioles]

it's been a minute since i felt this much peace. home alone, early evening, productivity behind me, cat snuggled in between my knees, lamplight, and studying i want but don't really need.

#it feels good #tumblr as a diary i guess

[travelgoalsandarterioles]

It's sexual assault awareness month and I'm. just so tired. of being so aware. all the time. of the fact that I'm a survivor. it's been literal years and I keep hoping that time and therapy and processing and work will make it bearable but its such an agonizingly slow process. and shit like this. does not help me. I get that it helps some people. That's important. That's valid. Change is necessary and without public awareness change will not come. But I'm just so tired of remembering. tired of crying. tired of waiting. tired of working so hard to make it better when nothing changes. tired of trying so hard, at immense personal cost, to be an agent of change just to see the same shit.

#i just need to talk about it #but there's no one i trust enough to talk to #TW sexual assault #trigger warning #sexual assault awareness month #tumblr as a diary #i guess #or at least a void to scream at #and i need to scream #this fucking article #this fucking program #im just so tired

[travelgoalsandarterioles]

For all the times that I couldn't, let this be the one time that I tried.

#decision #Pro

[travelgoalsandarterioles]

#this is the post i was looking for #@ the celebrity mental health discourse

[travelgoalsandarterioles]

just saw an article titled “how ariana grande handles her anxiety” and i just

like

if i had a few million dollars i could probably handle most of my anxiety too

it’s just so frustrating to see this trend of ‘you have mental health issues bc you’re haunted by the constant specter of poverty while trying to build a stable and secure life that may collapse anyway due to factors beyond your control? read this article by a celebrity who could buy three yachts and spend the pandemic in one of her mansions for guidance!’

ariana grande is a great influence and im sure she has her share of struggles with mental health, but I’m just so tired of watching us pretend that the conversations around celebrity mental health and the conversations around our mental health are analogous. 

#conversations about mental health cannot and should not be separated from conversations about socioeconomic factors

[travelgoalsandarterioles]

[travelgoalsandarterioles]

“I see you, I hear you, and I understand the urgency of what it is we have to get done in this country, I hope you will join us. You are more than welcome. You're needed.” - Joe Biden

[travelgoalsandarterioles]

[travelgoalsandarterioles]

Despite some of the highest Covid-19 death rates in America, Navajo Nation increased their turnout and went 97% for Biden…yes, 97%…

Robert Reich (2020.11.07)

[travelgoalsandarterioles]

Now that Biden has been announced president elect by every major news network I can finally sleep

[travelgoalsandarterioles]

It feels like we are all hostages who just got rescued and we are currently still in the rescue helicopter so things are still a litttttttle dicey and we aren’t ready to fully emotionally accept that we are safe but intellectually we know we’ve cleared enemy airspace and we’re in the right hands and it’s hitting us that we are gonna hug our loved ones again.

In the backs of our minds we realize more than ever that there are some really bad people in the world and we’re never going to see things the same as we did before, but we can tackle that later. For now let’s get the f*** outta here.

[travelgoalsandarterioles]

[travelgoalsandarterioles]

Fin.

[travelgoalsandarterioles]

IN TEARS