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Terrible Naruto Headcannons that I Think Would be Funny

Gaara’s black eyeliner is actually an unsettling amount of eyelashes

Gai and kakashi’s ridiculous rivalry is actually a bit that neither of them are willing to admit to being overplayed yet. They’re not rivals they’re just committed to the bit.

Kakashi isn’t actually super fast at hand seals. He doesn’t need hand seals at all. All that hand moving is just him stimming.

Since using the dead demon consuming seal locks the user and target’s souls in the shinigami’s stomach to fight for eternity, Hiruzen Sarutobi was stuck sitting next to the disembodied arms of orochimaru since that’s all he could grab. The shinigami was so embarrassed for him he just let the guy go to the pure lands which is why he was able to be edo tensei’d during the 4th war.

Minato asked the shinigami really really politely to get out but he had to take the nine tails yin chakra with him like when ur parents make u take ur younger sibling when u go out.

Nobody in naruto has ever fucked except for Genma

Yamato has left logs lying around all over konoha at Kakashi’s request just so it’s always a log that kakashi kawarimi’s himself with. Kakshi requested that they all be identical.

Alternatively! It’s always the same log and Kakashi takes it with him everywhere. It was a birthday present from Yamato

If Canada existed Yamato would be Canadian.

Hiruzen and Danzo are constantly on the brink of fucking nasty at any given moment of their interactions and the tension has in fact killed a fourth, unnamed council member.

Gaara doesn’t actually stop being a psychopath when he becomes desert ninja president it’s just that he’s so busy simping for naruto he forgor 🥺

Tenten is actually the protagonist of a second, secret manga occurring at the same time as Naruto which is why she rarely shows up. Every time she’s in a naruto episode it’s actually filler for her own story.

Yeah, Sakumo fucked the moon via @sloaners kagumo crack headcanon. Kakashi gained absolutely zero of his mother’s abilities. Hagoromo is actually kind of embarrassed they’re siblings. Kakashi feels the same way for the opposite reason

Nobody ever taught kakashi how the bank works and at this point he’s too afraid to ask which is why he makes everyone else pay for his meals. He has no idea how to withdraw funds.

The trees talk to Yamato but it’s never anything helpful just passive-aggressive mom comments about what he’s doing with his life. For this same reason there’s actually zero wood anywhere in his apartment.

Gai is faceblind. It’s the reason he doesn’t recognize like. Any of his adversaries. Kakashi has shown Gai his face multiple times but Gai doesn’t register it so it doesn’t matter at all.

Itachi can’t curse for shit. He said ‘dammit’ one time and washed his own mouth out with soap.

#Naruto #humor

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"Since it was first identified in 1983, HIV has infected more than 85 million people and caused some 40 million deaths worldwide.

While medication known as pre-exposure prophylaxis, or PrEP, can significantly reduce the risk of getting HIV, it has to be taken every day to be effective. A vaccine to provide lasting protection has eluded researchers for decades. Now, there may finally be a viable strategy for making one.

An experimental vaccine developed at Duke University triggered an elusive type of broadly neutralizing antibody in a small group of people enrolled in a 2019 clinical trial. The findings were published today [May 17, 2024] in the scientific journal Cell.

“This is one of the most pivotal studies in the HIV vaccine field to date,” says Glenda Gray, an HIV expert and the president and CEO of the South African Medical Research Council, who was not involved in the study.

A few years ago, a team from Scripps Research and the International AIDS Vaccine Initiative (IAVI) showed that it was possible to stimulate the precursor cells needed to make these rare antibodies in people. The Duke study goes a step further to generate these antibodies, albeit at low levels.

“This is a scientific feat and gives the field great hope that one can construct an HIV vaccine regimen that directs the immune response along a path that is required for protection,” Gray says.

-via WIRED, May 17, 2024. Article continues below.

Vaccines work by training the immune system to recognize a virus or other pathogen. They introduce something that looks like the virus—a piece of it, for example, or a weakened version of it—and by doing so, spur the body’s B cells into producing protective antibodies against it. Those antibodies stick around so that when a person later encounters the real virus, the immune system remembers and is poised to attack.

While researchers were able to produce Covid-19 vaccines in a matter of months, creating a vaccine against HIV has proven much more challenging. The problem is the unique nature of the virus. HIV mutates rapidly, meaning it can quickly outmaneuver immune defenses. It also integrates into the human genome within a few days of exposure, hiding out from the immune system.

“Parts of the virus look like our own cells, and we don’t like to make antibodies against our own selves,” says Barton Haynes, director of the Duke Human Vaccine Institute and one of the authors on the paper.

The particular antibodies that researchers are interested in are known as broadly neutralizing antibodies, which can recognize and block different versions of the virus. Because of HIV’s shape-shifting nature, there are two main types of HIV and each has several strains. An effective vaccine will need to target many of them.

Some HIV-infected individuals generate broadly neutralizing antibodies, although it often takes years of living with HIV to do so, Haynes says. Even then, people don’t make enough of them to fight off the virus. These special antibodies are made by unusual B cells that are loaded with mutations they’ve acquired over time in reaction to the virus changing inside the body. “These are weird antibodies,” Haynes says. “The body doesn’t make them easily.”

Haynes and his colleagues aimed to speed up that process in healthy, HIV-negative people. Their vaccine uses synthetic molecules that mimic a part of HIV’s outer coat, or envelope, called the membrane proximal external region. This area remains stable even as the virus mutates. Antibodies against this region can block many circulating strains of HIV.

The trial enrolled 20 healthy participants who were HIV-negative. Of those, 15 people received two of four planned doses of the investigational vaccine, and five received three doses. The trial was halted when one participant experienced an allergic reaction that was not life-threatening. The team found that the reaction was likely due to an additive in the vaccine, which they plan to remove in future testing.

Still, they found that two doses of the vaccine were enough to induce low levels of broadly neutralizing antibodies within a few weeks. Notably, B cells seemed to remain in a state of development to allow them to continue acquiring mutations, so they could evolve along with the virus. Researchers tested the antibodies on HIV samples in the lab and found that they were able to neutralize between 15 and 35 percent of them.

Jeffrey Laurence, a scientific consultant at the Foundation for AIDS Research (amfAR) and a professor of medicine at Weill Cornell Medical College, says the findings represent a step forward, but that challenges remain. “It outlines a path for vaccine development, but there’s a lot of work that needs to be done,” he says.

For one, he says, a vaccine would need to generate antibody levels that are significantly higher and able to neutralize with greater efficacy. He also says a one-dose vaccine would be ideal. “If you’re ever going to have a vaccine that’s helpful to the world, you’re going to need one dose,” he says.

Targeting more regions of the virus envelope could produce a more robust response. Haynes says the next step is designing a vaccine with at least three components, all aimed at distinct regions of the virus. The goal is to guide the B cells to become much stronger neutralizers, Haynes says. “We’re going to move forward and build on what we have learned.”

-via WIRED, May 17, 2024

#science #important #health

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#important #technology #links #enshittification

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It's frustrating that you can come up with the plot of an entire fic in just a few seconds, but writing it all down can take anywhere from never to forever.

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kabru is so fucking funny. he’s out here playing 15 dimensional manipulation mind chess with a guy whose hobby is barking like a dog

#dungeon meshi

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shoutout to the "foolproof" bread recipe I fucked up entirely for inspiring this

[tinylandshark]

"There's no hope for the future." And that's how they felt during the Atomic Age, during the World Wars, during the Enlightenment Revolutions, during thr plagues, during the Viking raids, during the fall of Rome.

Yet, we persisted.

#hopepunk

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Monster fuckers are so creative cuz it’s like you’ll look at a monster and go “how the fuck would one go about fucking that?” And then a monster fucker will slither from the shadows and give a demonstration of human ingenuity

#humor

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I hope we all make it

#hopepunk

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#lets fucking goooooo

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I'm sorry, cringe culture can't come to the phone right now. Why? Oh, cause it's dead!

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Description: [A video of a woman riding a galloping horse bareback while holding a large rainbow flag.]

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elon musk had a third child with grimes that he kept secret until the release of his biography. he named it techno mechanicus

#holy fucking shit #what #elongated muskrat #elon what the fuck

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[Video description: Four videos that have been stitched together; the first three are captioned. One: A lawyer in a suit says smugly, "I sued a 9-year-old kid and won!" Two: A bearded person sits outside and says ironically, "I challenged a nine year old kid to a basketball game and won." Three: A person wearing a yellow bandanna as a sweatband says dramatically, "I challenged a nine year old kid to a bench press competition, and won." Four: A (presumably) nine year old kid walks across a lawn, shaking their head slightly and sounding out of breath as they say, "I had the worst day of my life." End description.]

Description by @mocweepe

#humor

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#solarpunk

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When my mother forgets a word, she is the queen of coming up with new words. Words that would take a third National Treasure movie to fully decipher. I was talking to her yesterday, and she said this: “You know the time for los jibbities is coming up. You must be so excited!” Oh, is it time for los jibbities already? I must have missed it on my calendar. Are we celebrating something? “Of course! We should all be celebrating, shouldn’t we?” OK, so los jibbities is a happy thing. It’s not like something is giving you the heebie-jeebies, which would have been my one and only guess. “Los heebie-jeebies? Now you’re making things up...and this is my show.” You’re right. The time for los jibbities is coming up. Is this a season? “Yes, the season for love. The season for pride.” OK, los jibbities. “Yeah, sound it out.” Los…jibbities. LGBTs! “Sí, mira cuz you’re gay!” “You couldn’t just say pride season? You couldn’t just… *laughs*

[tinylandshark]

she weaponized her gag gift im crying

#humor