thoughtsimagesandposts-blog

[thoughtsimagesandposts-blog]

I’ve got to be kinder to myself 🥀

[thoughtsimagesandposts-blog]

The Week of the Weak

I’m having a shitty week where everything seems to be crashing around. I’ve avoided this platform for over a week but felt it may make me feel better?

I’m disappointing my bosses at work, I’m arguing with the people I love, ditching my friends, I feel that my self love is extremely low and to top it off I’m poorly, and the doctors still yet can’t understand my body.

Yet I can’t seem to help any of that, especially with the way I’m feeling.

Everyone who I do want to talk to this about, doesn’t know what to say.

The people I don’t want to talk to this about don’t know anyway, I tend to keep ahold of my bubbly aesthetic to please others.

I’m sick of feeling shit, and pretending I don’t feel this way.

AND thinking my feelings are less important...

But yet I’m still here making sure everyone else is ok before myself.

[thoughtsimagesandposts-blog]

Personal Thoughts of The Day

- Why don’t I like the way I look?

- Will I ever be happy with my appearance?

- Why does my side profile bother me as much?

- I’ve eaten a child’s fish’ n’ chips, 2 slices of bread and a cheese slice, waaaay too much food.

#insecure #food #thoughts

[thoughtsimagesandposts-blog]

Hello Pt. 2

Hello, hello, hello.

I am currently laid in bed, with a winter duvet, a sweaty sleeping boyfriend, watching my fave film and having a fan blast cold air onto me (it is 30* outside and I have no intention on being sociable :) )!

Today has been the worst, just to top my unfortunate events off, the tax man decides I’m going to be his flavor of the month and delivers me a bill for £80... This follows from the car people giving out my wrong address and me, therefore, having no knowledge my lil car needed a taxing!!

So £80 down and my hormones having a wild party, I’m having a pretty shitty day, until fish and chips became my dinner and ‘Almost Famous’ was placed onto the big screen. However, I must say, my food baby is making me rather uncomfortable, but that’s been tamed with the need to consume as I sit here on Nasty Gal looking for a t-shirt with ‘Scorpio’ wrote across the front.

He goes away tomorrow for 3 days, which makes me increasingly anxious. I don’t rely on him but his company is a comfort and without him, I feel lonely. Even with his sleeping head next to me and just hearing his silent snores makes me feel a mellow comfort.

I’m staying with my mum (which I know she’ll make it fun) as my dad, and friends are all away too. The loneliness is scaring the hell out of me but work will keep me preoccupied and keep my mind busy.

Praying for the next few days to be kind to me, so positive vibes are a must. 

Lots of love,

H.I.

P.S

Any other film recommendations for the rest of the weekend would be ace.

#thoughts #mind #wonder

[thoughtsimagesandposts-blog]

This was 100% a representation of me on Saturday. 

[thoughtsimagesandposts-blog]

Hello.

I’ve been rather skeptical about sharing my thoughts, but feel this may be the best way to clear my overthinking tiny mind.

Too many thoughts can be poison, therefore I wish to share rather than create mountains out of molehills. Many may say speak to the people around you, but why bother people with my mindless babbles. However, my hello is going to be a rather big hello... prepare yourself.

Today is the 25th of July 2018. I managed to convince myself we were on the 28th, I’m not sure how but decided we didn't need 3 more days but I’m grateful we're not as far as that into the month.

I’ve had a pretty tough week if I’m honest, there's been a lot of downs, but that has followed with a few ups. I know boyfriends troubles aren’t major but they can affect you in an immense way... 

I’m just gonna list a few of the issues that occurred as I’m not sure a massive descriptive paragraph is needed (I’m not complaining, as he is wonderful but this purely to get the thoughts off my mind). 

- He can’t accept my number (of sexual partners)... this has lead to many of arguments but nasty things were said that weren't necessarily needed.

- He lied about his whereabouts on Saturday, meant to be at friends but he was out in town (Disclaimer: I found this out through a Facebook photo 3 days later...)

- This followed with him finishing me due to me being too much hassle... at a festival...

- The next day of the festival I attended with my friends and met up with him, he proceeded to address me as if we were together, as in joking and kissing. However, this was only for him to tell me we definitely weren't together.

- Then an hour later... I was given another chance?

I feel like I don’t want to rant about that too much but it was a thought, and I needed to air it. I do love him unimaginable amounts and that's why I took him back, but he was dealing with the recent suicide of a friend. They do say you hurt the ones close to you.

Thanks,

H.I.

P.S

I do aim to speak about other things but hey this is my page and I’ll moan and talk about what I want. This is for me to get things off my chest and a place for me to be honest.

& you don’t realise how much someone means to you until they actually leave too, even if it is for a day.