thetravellinggirl37

[thetravellinggirl37]

“I want to speak to a manager,” the middle-aged woman said in her stern I-used-to-be-a-soccer-mom-ten-years-ago voice, looking down at me over the top of her Gucci reading glasses.

A wicked grin split across my face and the gates of Hell opened up behind me, releasing a gust of hot wind that whipped my apron around my body and forced the woman to shield her face. Demons came forth, dancing around in flames with songs of, “She wants to speak to a manager. Did you hear that? She wants to speak to a manager!” before erupting into earsplitting shrieks of laughter, none louder than my own cackling.

I took in the woman’s look of utter horror before my eyes rolled back into my head and I growled,

“I am the manager.”

[thetravellinggirl37]

The Last Words Of 25 Famous Dead Writers

When you’ve dedicated your life to words, it’s important to go out eloquently.

Ernest Hemingway: “Goodnight my kitten.” Spoken to his wife before he killed himself.

Jane Austen: “I want nothing but death.” In response to her sister, Cassandra, who was asking her if she wanted anything.

J.M Barrie: “I can’t sleep.”

L. Frank Baum: “Now I can cross the shifting sands.”

Edgar Allan Poe: “Lord help my poor soul.”

Thomas Hobbes: “I am about to take my last voyage, a great leap into the dark,”

Alfred Jarry: “I am dying…please, bring me a toothpick.”

Hunter S. Thompson: “Relax — this won’t hurt.”

Henrik Ibsen: “On the contrary!”

Anton Chekhov: “I haven’t had champagne for a long time.”

Mark Twain: “Good bye. If we meet—” Spoken to his daughter Clara.

Louisa May Alcott: “Is it not meningitis?” Alcott did not have meningitis, though she believed it to be so. She died from mercury poison.

Jean Cocteau: “Since the day of my birth, my death began its walk. It is walking towards me, without hurrying.”

Washington Irving: “I have to set my pillows one more night, when will this end already?”

Leo Tolstoy: “But the peasants…how do the peasants die?”

Hans Christian Andersen: “Don’t ask me how I am! I understand nothing more.”

Charles Dickens: “On the ground!” He suffered a stroke outside his home and was asking to be laid on the ground.

H.G. Wells: “Go away! I’m all right.” He didn’t know he was dying.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: “More light.”

W.C. Fields: “Goddamn the whole fucking world and everyone in it except you, Carlotta!” “Carlotta” was Carlotta Monti, actress and his mistress.

Voltaire: “Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies.” When asked by a priest to renounce Satan.

Dylan Thomas: “I’ve had 18 straight whiskies…I think that’s the record.”

George Bernard Shaw: “Dying is easy, comedy is hard.”

Henry David Thoreau: “Moose…Indian.”

James Joyce: “Does nobody understand?”

[thetravellinggirl37]

The person I reblogged this from deserves to be happy

#ya

[thetravellinggirl37]

Ayyy

if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my

irregular cycles of crippling anxiety and depression

[thetravellinggirl37]

A moment of silence for those we've lost in the skeleton war.

[thetravellinggirl37]

Okay tumblr here's the scoop. In Erie Pennsylvania, our school budget has not yet been decided on. Because of this, within the next few weeks there could be a district wide shutdown taking kids out of school and people out of work for weeks. Maybe months. Here's the link to our website please please Please flood the inbox of these people to keep our schools open. PLEASE. http://www.eriesd.org/site/default.aspx?PageID=1

#help #everyone #tumblr #school #homework #pennsylvania #highschool #middle school #elementary school #stay in school

[thetravellinggirl37]

“And then, do you know, Monsieur Marius, I believe I was a little in love with you.” @robhouchen

[thetravellinggirl37]

He has a good personality probably

Notes from Management [ardentleprechaun]

[thetravellinggirl37]

in case you’ve ever wondered what the most chilling line in jekyll and hyde is

[thetravellinggirl37]

since i love you guys so much, i’ve came up with a huge list of useful success-related resources!! :’)

adult things

How to do taxes

Effortlessly receive rewards from online quizzes

How to vote

Find the right career

What political parties are

How to do loans for college

How the stock market works (and how to invest)

what to do when you can’t pay your bills

How to jump start a car or other basic emergency things

How to buy a car or house

management and productivity

form your habits

giant daily planner

tons of calender printables

more printable planners

more printables

medication-taking schedule

behind in school?

stop procrastinating

time management hacks

school help

what is that word im thinking of???

10 common essay mistakes

reading strategies

change small words to big words and vice versa

accurate citation site

How to get your best grades in college 

The ultimate guide to college organization

didnt read that book?

strategic reading

How to write the perfect college essay 

The ultimate guide to packing for college

solve math problems

scholarpedia

how to read shakespeare

“how to write good”

google scholar

essaytyper

[thetravellinggirl37]

[thetravellinggirl37]

[thetravellinggirl37]

LITTLE COOKIES!

[thetravellinggirl37]

I feel like I need to apologize for being a white person which is a little sucky because I like the color of my skin and the way I look but it's not like I dropped from the womb and decided what color skin I wanted and I'm sorry that I got white skin because it seems like everyone on this site is mad at me for something I didn't do that another white person did like I'm no murderer or racist and I generally like to think I'm an okay person cos the truth is I don't want white skin if it gives me more of an advantage than the people around me so I'm sorry I'm white

#sorry

[thetravellinggirl37]

OKAY

can I just explain to you how frustrating horoscopes are for me because I was born on the border of Aries and Taurus so it is different for every horoscope and it's so frustrating cos I see those horoscope posts and like mine always are sorted into the contradicting places and I'm having an identity crisis it's like I'm on the stairway to heaven and the highway to hell at the same Time like what am i am I both am I one am I neither what The hell

#horoscope #ahhhh #science side of tumblr #help

[thetravellinggirl37]

Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.

Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.

Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..

Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.

An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......

Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'

Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.

Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...

Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.

A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.

A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.

Russia: You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.

PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.

Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.

Hussie: You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.

Romney: You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.

Once-ler: You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.

Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.

An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere

Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.

Also Tumblr: I give you a hamburger.

Night Vale: You do NOT have two cows. Cows do not exist. What's a cow? Show me a cow! That's not a cow! Who let you in here?

Tom Hiddleston: You have two cows. You are very sorry for them.

Thranduil: You do not have two cows, you have an elk. Riding on two cows is not majestic. Also the dwarves are on fire.

Dwarves: You had two cows but now they're on fire.

Bilbo Baggins: You did not invite those two cows for dinner.

Cows: The shit you go through.

This post: Started off as a post that explained different goverments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked

[thetravellinggirl37]

Go big or go home