thesebaby-scars

[thesebaby-scars]

[thesebaby-scars]

[thesebaby-scars]

[thesebaby-scars]

[thesebaby-scars]

[thesebaby-scars]

[thesebaby-scars]

[thesebaby-scars]

[thesebaby-scars]

I need help

It’s been over 2 years since I’ve self-harmed, and I have no shame in saying that it’s been the hardest two years of my life. When I self-harmed, I knew what would make me feel better, there was something that always worked, and if it didn’t, I’d just try harder. It was my way of coping. Before the voices in my head got so loud that I couldn’t deal with it any more. And now I just have to find more creative ways of dealing with the pain I feel every god damn day. So I work myself until I’m so tired that I fall asleep everywhere. I distance myself from people who may genuinely care because I’m afraid I’ll snap at them, my temper hasn’t been the best. It’s like I’m stacking all of these heavy weights on a very unsturdy table, and I’m just waiting for the legs to crack and it to all fall back down onto me. I don’t want to self harm anymore, I don’t like my body enough as it is without it having more scars on it. But with all of this stress in my life right now I just wish there was something that had the same effect. That took away those voices that told me that nothing I do is worth anything, because those voices are discouraging me from all of my dreams, and the only thing I can do is try to push them under the mat and pretend like they aren’t there, although they are slowly overpowering every thought that I have and making it seem like nothing is worth the hassle.  I struggle to say I’m still depressed because I’ve been dealing with this feeling for so long that it just feels normal. I don’t remember what it was like to have motivation, or a drive to accomplish anything. I hate this, and I want it to stop. Now. Please. It’s ruining my life. 

#depression #help #emotions

[thesebaby-scars]

[thesebaby-scars]

[thesebaby-scars]

[thesebaby-scars]

[thesebaby-scars]

[thesebaby-scars]

[thesebaby-scars]

[thesebaby-scars]