thephamilybusiness

[thephamilybusiness]

Regulus: I hate you

James: *in his head* enemies to lovers, slow burn, angst with happy ending, 300k+ words

[thephamilybusiness]

The amount of sass is just so good

james: so, i’ve been thinking

regulus: merlin, are you okay? that must’ve been rough

[thephamilybusiness]

Evan: Lily, if we got married I would be Evan Evans.

Lily: and if we got married me and Pandora would be sister-in-laws!

Remus to Regulus: if I married Sirius, and you married James, what would that make us?

*cuts to James and Sirius arguing over if Freddie Mercury or David Bowie would win in a fight*

Regulus to Remus: if you married Sirius and I married James that would make us idiots.

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Sirius: Would you two just kiss and make up?

James, flustered and frantic: Kiss? me and Regulus? No! no! no. never. Sirius, I would never kiss your younger brother-

Regulus: *facepalms*

Remus: It's a saying James.

James:

Sirius:

James:

Sirius: You have a five second head start.

[thephamilybusiness]

Gods he’s so stupid and I love him

James is late for potions class and sits next to Sirius*

James, sniffing the air: Pads, have you sprayed Regulus' perfume? The entire hallway and classroom smells like Regulus!

Sirius: in oblivious shock*

Peter: I think you should look at the board, mate.

James, still doesn't understand: Why???

Remus, sighs: Because we are making fucking amortentia right now. And you smelled Regulus!

James, panikcingly: Oh Godric! He's gonna kill me!

Sirius: JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER!!!!! HOW DARE YOU!!!!

Marlene, from the back seat: What are these idiots doing??

Lily, who's know everything: James just trying commit suicide. Nothing more.

[thephamilybusiness]

It do be like that

i fear that i am incurable (and sexy)

[thephamilybusiness]

It could happen y’all

The writers strike could impact your favorite show! A season might get cut in half causing the writers to send the main character to hell instead of saving him. He might have to be rescued by an angel the next season, whom he will have a homoerotic relationship with over the next ten years, shaping the culture of some blue website and changing the way people receive world news for years to come!

[thephamilybusiness]

This cycle is my life and y’all I am so tired

my body, tearfully: when sleep???

me: my dude we just woke up!! It’s time for wakefulness and doing things and Productivity

my body, weeping: but???? when sleep?????

#chronic pain #chronic fatigue #i’m forever sick #postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome #orthostatic hypotension #i’m tired #my legs hurt so bad

[thephamilybusiness]

There is zero reason for this man to be this beautiful

#daniel howell #dan howell #phandom #trash #danisnotonfire

[thephamilybusiness]

Well this broke me

feeling sick to my stomach rn 🫶🏻

[thephamilybusiness]

Hiding

James: What are you doing?

Regulus: *Wrapping himself in James' arms* Hiding

James: ...Do you mean hugging?

Regulus: Did I fucking stutter?

[thephamilybusiness]

James, showing his new outfit: Thoughts?

Remus: On point.

Sirius: High-key killing it!

Mary: Totally adorable!

Regulus: Adequate.

Regulus: *Blinks*

Remus: Keep it in your pants, Black, jeez!

Marlene: Openly thirsting? That's a new low.

James, blushing: GUYS-

[thephamilybusiness]

Harry: *bows his head sadly*

Regulus: no, Harry, I'm not scolding you.

Harry: *looks at Regulus* no?

Regulus: I scold your careless father

James: are you talking about me?!?

Regulus: yes

James: I'm surprised

Regulus: you gave the kids knives and made them look for treasure

James: those are actually your knives!

Regulus: what does it have to do with the fact that the knives are mine?

James: It's not my fault! they wanted adventure and padfoot said-

Regulus: Sirius was here???

James: I said Sirius? I didn't say Sirius!! Sirius wasn't here!

Regulus: *leaves the room*

Harry: dad!

James: I'm sorry, I'm just nervous!

Harry: we should call uncle moony

[thephamilybusiness]

My right eye has been twitching for days because of stress so our eyes started twitching at the same time 🤗

Sirius, barging into the dorm after finding out about James and Regulus, followed closely by his brother

Sirius: JAMES FLEAMONT BROTHERFUCKING POTTER

James: *deny deny deny* I swear on Merlin’s ancient beard I would never dare touch Regulus with a five foot pole.

…

Regulus: He knows, James.

James: Oh.

James: Well yeah, he comes here every Friday and Monday when Pete’s at chess club and you and Moony are on your study dates-

Sirius: *cue the menacing silence* He comes here. With you. In our dorm. All alone?

Regulus: *oh shit*

James: Yup.

Sirius: *eye twitching*

Regulus: James, my love?

James: Hm?

Regulus: Run.

#twinsies

[thephamilybusiness]

If it’s been five years that means I need to be dead

happy five years of gtpwtw to those who celebrate 🙂🫶🏻

[thephamilybusiness]

Don’t we all?

I find dean most attractive when he’s suffering

[thephamilybusiness]

Y’all I am so alone

tired of dating apps. when will someone grip me tight and raise me from perdition.