theknomadicphilosopher

[theknomadicphilosopher]

Officially in my quiet era i don't have much to say about anything anymore it is what it is and life goes on

[theknomadicphilosopher]

You idolized people for having beautiful hearts and minds, only to discover that wasn't the case.

It's always been you.. the one with a beautiful heart and mind.

It's always been you.. the one with an alluring presence & a wonderful inner world.

Next time allure those who are worthy of your presence.

#note_to_self

[theknomadicphilosopher]

My girl 🤍

ashley benson as hanna marin in pretty little liars

[theknomadicphilosopher]

If reincarnation is real I wonder how many people stare at their own art in museums, listen to their own music they made in a different life and read books they don't remember writing

[theknomadicphilosopher]

Beautiful ❄️

New York City on a snowy night.

[theknomadicphilosopher]

[theknomadicphilosopher]

I’ve been really feeling the defects of my ADHD hobby graveyard lately. I think the reason why I leave them all to die is simply that I want to be recognized for something. I want someone to tell me, “That’s really fucking cool, I want to buy it!” I don’t know why that matters to me so much, but in the end it does. I have no true motivation to make art like I once did. The urge to see what I can do has been replaced by seeing what others are able to do and feeling like everything I do is mediocre and amateur. Human connection is missing from my hobbies yet when I meet with others to create my mind draws a blank. It’s truly heartbreaking to experience and further reinforces my imposter syndrome. I wish there was a way to cure it, some way to find the motivation to actually *have fun*. Since my dad died, I don’t really feel that kind of desire or fun loving nature in anything besides communicating with people. I have so much fun just hanging out with friends and customers, which does pay the bills (I’m a bartender) but leaves me with no permanent satisfaction. And when I’m off work, I’m lonely and defeated. I want to have a business or skill that people are willing to pay for so that I have some security beyond working for someone else. It has bothered me for years now that I’m unable to do this when I see so many people I know deciding to take hobbies in my graveyard seriously and earning a living off of them. It breeds envy, and shame. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love my life. I am not at all a pessimistic victim. I enjoy my days! These are just thoughts that stay creeping in the back of my mind I want to share somewhere to someone. Why am I like this? What good could come of it? And what am I meant for in this world? Bartending is great, I’m a friend, therapist, comedian. I love it, I just don’t see any skill in it I guess. Not in comparison to the Renaissance style arts. I’d like to be an expert, skilled and someone who shows mastery in commerce. *Sigh* Sometimes I think I may just need to accept that this isn’t me. But then I make some cool stuff, or strides in my social media posts and website and feel the opposite. Help! 😩 #adhdthoughts #hobbygraveyard #adhd

#adhd #hobbygraveyard #adhd thoughts #advice #philosophy

[theknomadicphilosopher]

Visions ✨

[theknomadicphilosopher]

🤍

they should invent a desire to be wanted that doesn't feel grotesque and perverse

[theknomadicphilosopher]

🧨

"Kill them with kindness" WRONG. drop the opera house chandelier on them.

[theknomadicphilosopher]

A wish for all days 💧

[theknomadicphilosopher]

Jane Austen, from Sense and Sensibility

[theknomadicphilosopher]

Florence and The Machine, from 100 Years Mary Oliver, from Sleeping In The Forest

Vincent Van Gogh, The Sower (detail)

[theknomadicphilosopher]

Like an amoeba, alive and symbiotic.

Whimsical Hundertwasserhaus, Vienna, Austria Photo by: @ournextflight [IG]

[theknomadicphilosopher]

c 2015, Wyndcliffe on Mill Road in Rhinebeck

Source

[theknomadicphilosopher]

Give me a dollar and a dream and I’d be right there🌿

@coqhotelparis Greenery feeling in #France by @basilgreenpencil⁣

Get Inspired, visit www.myhouseidea.com

[theknomadicphilosopher]

Instagram credit: ichmiles