thegodsareinngrave

[thegodsareinngrave]

if something doesn't change for the positive I'm killing myself in two years. in two years i should have my shit together enough to be functional at least physically.

#mental illness #suicide #depression #suicidal #mental health

[thegodsareinngrave]

friday i coukd go buy a gun and end it all and nothing can stop me.

[thegodsareinngrave]

if i lose this job, I'm buying a gun and shooting myself.

[thegodsareinngrave]

[thegodsareinngrave]

You need a private talk? Just send me an ask!:)

[thegodsareinngrave]

I already made up my mind to kill myself. I dont know when or how but I know I am tired of living. It could be five minutes from now, or tomorrow, or the day after, or even hell, next month. All I am certain about is that I want to die.

I am so tired of holding on (via @spilledinkandtears)

[thegodsareinngrave]

[thegodsareinngrave]

Tell me what I did to deserve this hurt when all I ever did was put everybody first

[thegodsareinngrave]

I’ve made too many mistakes in my life and it always takes a toll on my suicidal thoughts. I’m a bad person and I always will be a bad person, and I do not deserve any of the friends I have left, they can always find someone much better. No one will miss me, in fact they’d be relieved.

Confession #5109

Send your confessions to my ask here

(via depression-confessions-on)

[thegodsareinngrave]

You need a private talk? Just send me an ask!:)

[thegodsareinngrave]

[thegodsareinngrave]

I don;t think I want to be better, I just want it to end. There is no cure for what I have only ways to treat the symptoms and no one wants to deal with a broken head case when they are old and ugly.

[thegodsareinngrave]

maybe I should just get a pay day loan and just buy the gun, go have my last meal a good drink and then just end it all. fucking tired of this life.

[thegodsareinngrave]

Maybe if I where more queer or non male then I would have people wanting me to be around instead of being told I’m scum everywhere I go because I have a different chromosome set or a fucking cock. Tired of being told it’s my fault or that I’m responsible for someone else’s problem because I’m alive, please if me breathing makes your life worse then fucking kill me.

[thegodsareinngrave]

I don’t know how I can tell people to be compassionate to others when I can’t even be compassionate to myself over mistakes. Feels hypocritical for me to advocate for others to love themselves when at the same time I’m trying to figure out how to fucking kill myself in the most efficient and economical way possible. I open up to people and either the reaction I get is confirmation that I am in fact a screw up, addict, bastard or any other unsavory type of person you can think up or I have to console THEM because me being hurt hurts them and they can’t take it. I told a lover that I need drugs because I’m tired of always being so wound up and angry or on the brink of tears all day all the time, I get the mom talk about substance abuse, hell I can’t talk about how good a stout is without being called an alcoholic. You should have heard what happened when I started smoking pot at the young age of 37, apparently I’m just like an addict that people knew that fucked up their lives.

It’s exhausting dealing with people's image of oneself , most of the time I just brush it off but there are times where it hits a nerve , an old one, where I can no longer deal with people and their idea about how horrible I am and I lash out not violently but cold words. I hate being drunk or high but if it takes the edge off of this constant screaming in my head I will take it.

I’m just trying not to explode

[thegodsareinngrave]

Yup, trying not to kill myself again maybe I’ll finally do it this time without anyone calling the cops on me, btw if you would like to help support my suicide pm for details on how you can donate to my Euthanasia fund so I can get a gun and do it right this fucking time.

[thegodsareinngrave]

I'm afraid to take anything. ive avoided the bottle of wine in the pantry and the sleeping pills on my desk.