thegladelf

[thegladelf]

don’t ever tell me that percy jackson doesn’t know exactly what he’s talking about

[thegladelf]

Bruce's co-workers on the justice league ask, half-jokingly, why he won't go to therapy and he very seriously informs them his first therapist hypnotized and stole money from his clients and tried to do the same to Bruce and THEN years later he found out that same guy started mutating his patients into monster men so that he could do more crimes and while he doubted something like that would happen twice he doesn't feel like risking it and his coworkers just stared at him in dumb silence for a while

Clark asks him later if he was joking and he wasn't and this is why no one can tell when Bruce is making shit up or not

[thegladelf]

LMAO someone give Dick Grayson a medal for understanding that when Bruce stalks you and asks to take your blood, it's his way of showing he loves his kid.

[thegladelf]

“Bruce Wayne is actually a really good father and all his children are just like that” is actually my favorite flavor of batfam

[thegladelf]

[thegladelf]

one thing that will always be funny to me about batfam is that jason is forever convinced that dick is bruce's favorite child while all of his siblings know for sure that bruce's favorite child is actually jason

some random reporter: who's your favorite child?

bruce: how DARE YOU imply that i play favorites, i love ALL of my children equally

dick, without missing a bit: oh he absolutely plays favorites, it was jason

tim: rest in peace

[thegladelf]

Jason: You can trust me! Let’s not forget who pulled you out of that river when you were 14.

Tim: let’s not forget who pushed me in

[thegladelf]

What happens when Alfred isn’t home.

[thegladelf]

Actual convos with the Batfam #4:

Dick @ Bruce and Selina: I can’t believe you two would carry on like that with children in the house.

Damian: For the last time, Grayson, I am not a–

Dick: ME! I’m the child!!!

Jason: *under his breath* Out of all of us, how does he end up the one that needs the most therapy?

Tim: *also under his breath* I hear the oldest kid always has it the worst.

[thegladelf]

Just another married!BatCat headcanon #36:

Random villain: *crashes super fancy party that Bruce and Selina are attending*

Bruce: We need to stop them.

Selina: Correction, I need to stop them. You need to be the opposite of Batman.

Bruce: …

Selina: I don’t like that look in your eye…

Bruce: *fake terrified* Oh no, whatever shall we do???

Selina: No….

Bruce: *stumbles into random villain*

Selina: *facepalm*

Bruce: Catwoman, save me!

Selina: *grumbling* Remind me again why I married your dramatic ass.

[thegladelf]

Just another married!BatCat headcanon #39:

Selina: *in the trophy room* Is that a picture of Penguin?

Bruce: *on the computer* I don’t know, Selina, is it?

Selina: In a nightgown?

Bruce: Oh, that picture of Penguin.

Selina: Stealing a TV???

Bruce: Remember the dude that used bedbugs?

Selina: *stares*

Selina: You have given me a new level of petty to aspire to.

[thegladelf]

Bruce: First impressions are very important.

Jason: Yet you adopted me anyway.

[thegladelf]

Therapist: *holds up a picture of Tim Drake*

Me: My child.

Therapist: *holds up a picture of Damien Wayne*

Me: My problem child.

Therapist: *holds up a picture of Jason Todd*

Me: My other problem child.

Therapist: *holds up a picture of Dick Grayson*

Me: My husband.

Therapist: …

Therapist: But what about… *holds up a picture of Bruce Wayne*

Me: My biggest problem child

[thegladelf]

[thegladelf]

Lol. My friend was talking about how they don't like a lot of people and "must be the autism" and I just shook my head and was like, "Bro, I'm pretty you'd be like that with or without the autism."

He had to agree.

[thegladelf]

So here's a question for medical Twitter: I talk about my dad's health quite often bc it affects my life regularly. He is on Medicare. Currently, he is his own Medicare agent, but he's going to be transferring everything to me by the end of the year, so I will be in charge of helping him and his clients. Suddenly, I'm over here wondering if normal convos I have w people about what's going on w my dad would constitute a HIPAA violation once I'm the one in charge of his plan. (Never in detail, but I talk about them on Twitter, YouTube, etc.)

#help? #medical question #medical law question

[thegladelf]