Tumgik
thefloatingllama · 3 years
Text
Tumblr media
63K notes · View notes
thefloatingllama · 3 years
Photo
Tumblr media
50K notes · View notes
thefloatingllama · 3 years
Text
okay everybody go home this is the best one
Tumblr media
168K notes · View notes
thefloatingllama · 3 years
Video
“Up, papa? Up?” (via amazinraisin)
69K notes · View notes
thefloatingllama · 3 years
Text
Things Edward Could’ve Said That Sound Less Suspicious
Bella: Your eyes are a different color, did you get contacts?
Edward: Uh haha yeah I did. I think they look pretty cool.
Edward: *stops the car and saves Bella* Hey are you ok? *stands up, pretends his arm hurts* Awesome I’m gonna get this looked at now.
*Tells Carlisle. Comes back to school with arm in a cast and sling*
Bella: How did you stop that car? You were amazing.
Edward: Well sadly I wasn’t bit by a radioactive spider and I don’t have superpowers. Doctor said it was an adrenaline rush, it’s a common natural response to life or death situations. Basically it maximizes your body’s physical capabilities. So yeah it’s like temporary super strength and speed. Crazy shit.
Bella: You’re so cold. I can’t feel your pulse.
Edward: I have hypothyroidism and bradycardia.
Bella: Aren’t you going to eat something?
Edward: I have to be on a special diet.
Bella: Oh right, your condition, sorry.
This list could go on and on. You’d think after being a mind reading vampire for 91 years you’d learn a thing or two about being a good liar. SHEESH.
16K notes · View notes
thefloatingllama · 3 years
Photo
Tumblr media
Kristen Stewart’s character posing as straight while wearing this is peak comedy
27K notes · View notes
thefloatingllama · 3 years
Photo
you didn’t buy a ticket
get out
Tumblr media
54K notes · View notes
thefloatingllama · 3 years
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Kristen Stewart as Sabina Wilson CHARLIE’S ANGELS 2019 | dir. Elizabeth Banks
7K notes · View notes
thefloatingllama · 3 years
Video
wholesome tiktok
58K notes · View notes
thefloatingllama · 3 years
Photo
Tumblr media
61K notes · View notes
thefloatingllama · 3 years
Text
yall
i was purging my social media use
i did so good
but my tumblr account emailed me that my queue 
of 300 or whatever posts
was empty 
and they were worried since i hadnt made a post
like 
is this how yall know im not dead
0 notes
thefloatingllama · 4 years
Text
they looked at each other and said “can you believe this woman???” 😂😂 😂
208K notes · View notes
thefloatingllama · 4 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Sex Education (Season 2, Episode 4)
50K notes · View notes
thefloatingllama · 4 years
Video
151K notes · View notes
thefloatingllama · 4 years
Video
Uh idk who is cuter
471K notes · View notes
thefloatingllama · 4 years
Text
i went to the dentist today and my dentist honest to god said “can i ask you a question…….what the hell is in your mouth”
300K notes · View notes
thefloatingllama · 4 years
Photo
Tumblr media
234K notes · View notes