I see ur into spirou & fantasio too so heres a random anon: who would drop the F bomb and how? (ocs optional & included, if u have any)
Random anons with random questions are always welcome (and yes, I do have a couple OCs as well and I won’t hesitate to include them at the end of the list).
[[ QUICK PREMISE: I’m answering the ask by keeping in mind a mix of toon and comic versions for all the characters who will be listed below, temper-wise. Also, my OCs will be under the “read more” cut, so if anyone isn’t interested into any sort of OCs-related stuff, they won’t see a thing.]]
- SPIROU: Would drop the F bomb quite often, most of those times when he’s alone and pretty ticked off. He would be very careful not to cuss in front of any kid, though.
- FANTASIO: Similar to Spirou, albeit sometimes he might accidentally half-cuss in front of children too. He may stop in time and quickly mask the F bomb (and any other swearing) with any other word, hence why I wrote “half-cuss”.
- SPIP: Nobody really speaks Squirrel, so he might as well drop an F bomb whenever the f@ck he wants. :)
- MARSUPILAMI: Too pure to cuss even when angered real good. In this latter case, you’re definitely gonna catch some of those (four) hands with a balled tail as bonus, but you will never catch anything like a hissed “F@CK YHOUBA!”
- SECCOTINE: Mild “F-bomb dropper”. Might go borderline heavy cusser if she’s been having a very bad day.
- COMPTE DE CHAMPIGNAC: One might catch him accidentally utter an “aw frick!” under his breath, if he thinks he’s alone. Otherwise he would just go with his usual, trademark “cusses” (wtf does “sabre de bois!” even mean? :°D)
- ZORGLUB: Probably used to drop an F bomb every now and then, but learned to control this “impulse” furthermore ever since Zaoki was born. So I’d say that it might be quite a rare occurrence to hear him cuss with anything heavier than a “jeepers creepers!” :°)
- ZAOKI: Despite her father’s best intentions, she might drop an occasional F bomb. Just, she would do so when Zorglub isn’t around.
- ZANTAFIO: Every time is good to let out one big, liberating “F@CK!” Be it a “F@CK THIS!”, “F@CK THAT!”, “F@CK YOU!”,or even a “F@CK ME!” It would all depend on the specific circumstance. He wouldn’t give a flying f@ck if other people might hear him, and he would care even less if there were “innocent ears” nearby. Bonus point for purposedly switching to some Spanish swearing whenever someone tells him to cut it out.
- DON VITO CORTIZONE: Never drops any F bomb, but you’re definitely gonna learn some (desperate) Italian swearing whenever things start to go not as he planned (”MADONNA MIA SANTISSIMA!”) It would be even more interesting if he also switched to regional swearing (just remember that I headcanon him to be Calabrese).
- VON SCHNABBEL(is it?): Loud German swearing, some of which might also be a German variation of the F bomb.
CORINNE: Professional “F bomb dropper”. When ticked off well enough, she doesn’t care anymore and just go off swearing more or less hard. It would also appear that she doesn’t care if she’s been doing so while kids are around, but she would soon regret it once the moment has passed (and you will catch her apologising).
- NATALIE: Looks so “pure and kind” that she strikes everyone as the person who will never drop an “F bomb”, ever. In reality, once in a blue moon she would drop one. When that happens, however, everyone knows that it’s definitely not a good sign and better brace themselves for whatever may come next. Because Natalie is the living embodiedment of the quote “watch out for the quiet ones”.
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Someone asked “spirou et fantasio for the fandom ask”
LET’S GO
my beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world fave: Uh is any of them a 100% cinnamon roll...i mean i’d go with Spirou but Ninon is real qt and getting there
my trash-shit fave: Zanta
my I love to hate them fave: Zanta
my I hate to love them fave:ok weird response but it’s 100% zorglub’s daughter zaoki in the 2006 cartoon. the cartoon is a pile of trash and im embarrassed to have even watched it but i liked her concept a lot, a shame she originated from that series lmao
my I wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire non-fave: sorry flanner
my I didn’t care about them either way at first but the fandom makes such a big deal about them now I can’t stand them non-fave: the fandom isn’t big enough to make a big deal over anything but ngl the overdefensiveness over yann and schwartz made me dislike the authors even more so uh
my I could take them or leave them kinda non-fave: i’m not...huge on the marsupilami.i feel that about spip too at times but it depends on who writes him
my I will go down with this ship and I won’t put my hands up and surrender, there will be no white flag above my door. I’m in love and always will be fave ship: my brain says spirou/fantasio but like...spirou/luna and fantasio/seccotine are one of my OG OTPs (not even a matter of “my kid self didn’t ship m/m” thing cause i saw chesterfield and blutch from a mile away at age 6 lmao) so idk what to tell u lol
my dirtybadwrong fave ship: none really? i feel like all the ships i like are pretty chill
my they’re cute together and I dig them but I’m not all that terribly invested kinda fave ship: zorglub/the count, tho @vinkumakkara did make me like it more
my I didn’t care about this ship either way at first but the fandom makes such a big deal about it now I can’t stand it non-fave ship: again, fandom not big enough to make a big deal from anything
my MAKE IT STOP non-fave ship: anyone/flanner, and i saw someone do zorglub/zaoki on the tag and i never wanted to unsee something so badly in my life.
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Fandom: Spirou et Fantasio (the 2006 cartoon canon) + Gaston Lagaffe
Word Count: 1188
Summary: Zorglub needs a favour, Gaston needs a job.
Pairings: None really maybe some later if I continue this AU. Mostly based on my and Raax’s headcanons for the cartoon, written for her birthday.
Gaston Lagaffe looked up from the paper in his hand. Yes, this was the right address.
The Dupuis offices.
He had recently found himself in need of a job, (or money at least) and comics sounded fun. He had picked up one of the comic magazines in his flat and found the address for the editorial offices.
He wasn't entirely certain what this job would involve, but how hard could it be-
"Hello, Mister, Miss, Master, Madam-"
Gaston turned to look at the source of the robotic voice. "Mmhuh?"
The metal man held out a flier. "Hello. Do you need a job?"
"Yes, actually."
Gaston took a flier and frowned at what seemed to be random letters. "This makes no sense."
Before he could react he was picked up, and found himself carried away.
A kick to the metal body only managed to make his foot hurt, so he let the kidnapping happen, and after being made slightly nauseous by a beam that seemed to lift him to an airplane of some kind, he was unceremoniously dropped on a hard metal floor.
Gaston lifted his head to see a suited figure wearing what almost seemed like a cape.
"Welcome, to the lair of Zorglub!"
Léon Prunelle looked up from his work, wondering for a moment why he had expected someone to walk into the office right at that moment.
It almost felt like a dream, or a memory of one.
The editor shrugged, and went back to work.
"Who?" Gaston sat up, confused.
The suited man glared at him. "Have you not heard of the great Zorglub?"
"Nope."
Zorglub crossed his arms. "You come to me looking for a job, and don't even know who I am?"
"Mmhuh? A job?"
"Zero, here!"
The robot that had kidnapped Gaston saluted. "Gnol evil Bulgroz!"
"What did you tell him?" Zorglub looked ready to explode. "These are the fliers you distributed? They are in Zorglingo, you idiot!"
"What job?" Gaston asked.
"Ah, yes," Zorglub said. "I am in need of a babysitter."
"Oh, I can do that," Gaston told him. "I often watch my neighbours or relatives' kids. How old are we talking about?"
"Uhh..." Zorglub stopped to think. "I think about four."
"I can do that, definitely."
Now that this was settled, Gaston stood up, taking in his surroundings. "So, you live on an airship or something?"
"Hello?" Gaston gave the little girl a smile.
She hid behind Zero.
"So, I will leave you two to get to know each other," Zorglub said, and before Gaston had time to react the scientist walked out of the room.
Gaston gave the room a look. It was all shiny chrome and sleek metallic surfaces apart from the bed and a box of toys and books in the corner. Most of the toys were still wrapped in their packaging and books looked unread.
"My name is Gaston," he tried again. "You're Zaoki, right? Your dad told me about you."
Although not much. She didn't even seem like a four-year old, but several years older. All Zorglub had said was that she was a quiet and an easy child.
"Do you like the robot-man?" Gaston asked.
"Zero," Zaoki spoke. "He is called Zero."
"And he is your friend?"
A slight nod.
"Do you live here?"
"I... dunno."
"Do you maybe stay at your mothers somet-"
The little girl burst into tears. She clutched the steel legs of the robot that seemed to not notice her tears.
"Sorry!" Gaston said. "I didn't mean to-"
"Mooom!" the girl wailed.
"Is your mom okay?" Gaston asked.
She shook her head. "No. Nothing is okay."
Gaston reached a hand to the girl. "It's gonna be okay. Eventually."
She didn't take the offered hand.
"How old are you?" Gaston asked.
"Almost seven," she said.
"Would you like me to ask your dad to come back?"
She shook her head.
"You have done babysitting Zaoki?" Zorglub dug around his wallet. "How much is it?"
"What?" Gaston asked. "Why didn't you tell me your wife just died?"
Zaoki hadn't said much more after that, but she had eventually sat on the bed while Gaston read a book to her.
"It's complicated. And we were never married."
"Ah, okay."
"How long do you suppose she will need to be watched? You know, until she is okay," Zorglub asked. "I might need your services for a while longer. Zero here has been keeping her company, but he was never designed for that."
"You made the robot? Cool."
"Just one of my minor accomplishments. And as soon as I can develop Zero 2.0 that can fully perform baby-sitting duties-"
"You can't do that!" Gaston protested. "She's a little kid! You can't just make a robot to keep her company, she needs human contact, she needs her dad."
"You don't understand," Zorglub said. "It's not... She's not really my daughter. Or it's complicated."
"So?"
"Her mother was a friend of mine. Zara. We met in a science conference, hit it off, dabbled together in a project or two. She was never much of a scientist to tell the truth and more dedicated on her conservation work, and we disagreed on things, argued sometimes, didn't see each other in years... And then she contacted me. She wanted to have a child."
"Oh."
"Nothing like that!" Zorglub hurried to say. "We were friends! But she was thinking of settling down and having a family, but wasn't much into the whole- The point is, she knew I had some technology that could help, and, well... Zaoki is a clone of Zara!"
"So, she is the same person?"
"No. Or I guess. She is so similar, and of course she was mostly brought up by her mother, up until..."
"So she has no other family, then?"
"No."
"I was about her age when my parents died," Gaston said. "I was raised by my aunt."
"Excellent! So you'll know how to deal with the situation."
"She's gonna need her dad," Gaston pointed out.
"Then I drew a school," Zaoki showed her drawing to Gaston. "Do you think I can go to a school some time? A proper school, not home-school?"
"I dunno," Gaston said. "We should ask your dad. Do you want me to ask?"
Zaoki shook her head. "He'll be mad."
"Phuh, no."
"He was mad when you blew up the kitchen and melted the floor. A bit. But he yelled."
Gaston waved his hand dismissively. "He wasn't mad, just a bit energetic. I'm sure he was fine with it. Like he would be fine with you going to school, he is a scientist after all."
"Okay."
The door opened, and two figures stepped in. Zero walked in and took his usual place in the corner where he usually observed Zaoki and answered her questions. Zorglub looked far more hesitant.
"Dad?"
It was obviously a question, even if it was slightly unclear what the query had been.
But when Zorglub sat on the bed next to Gaston and asked "So, you have been drawing? Can I see it?" a shy smile played on Zaoki's lips.
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