#you stole my bouncy ball soooo frying pan it was

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

absjsjhsjsks you're not gonna believe this. i don't believe this. my life is a goddamn joke. so i wake up in the morning after sending you that last ask. and the first thing i see that morning is that the guy i told you about TEXTED ME. and we haven't talked in over 10 months so that's obviously weird. and, like any sane person's, my first thought is: you replied to my ask, he has a tumblr, he follows you, he read it, i have been exposed, he knows, i revealed too much, i'm fucked. so naturally, because i'm not gonna walk into a conversation like that without being sure what i'm dealing with, i go to your tumblr and see if you replied. you hadn't, so unless you're that guy in a trench coat, life just really likes playing jokes on me (the conversation by the way was so random, i have no idea why he texted me)

honestly though, if he had asked me out while standing in front of me and not through a text, my reaction would've been absolutely the same as yours. just a lot of staring and panicking. i definitely would not have come up with any lie, because even through text i kept taking about 5 minutes to reply to each thing he said (how I expected him to believe me i don't know). so that's definitely a valid reaction.

ok but can i just say that i love your lie about the boyfriend. my 15 year old self wishes she had that much imagination. and honestly aside from moving because the parents don't approve it's a pretty solid lie, i'd believe that. also i would just dig the star-crossed lovers thing so much that i'd be like, oh he moved to the other side of the world just because his parents didn't approve? seems like a typical doomed-from-the-start-love thing, i don't even CARE if it's not plausible

and thanks! it definitely took me a while to understand that i was ace and it wasn't just that everyone feels like that. realising i'm pan was definitely easier. and english does attract all of us queer people, doesn't it? i love that, it's very cool

oh no, that is the worst coincidence. I would be so sure I’d been found out in that situation. i am glad the conversation was just random! not tryna expose anyone on here except myself. life is playing with you HARD. but i can confirm i don’t own a trenchcoat, probably because i’m too short for any of them to fit me probably and give off the correct vibe and also i’m not shady enough. yet. i own a puffer jacket if that’s close enough. and a dressing gown. the fluffy dressing gown is actually probably the closest item of clothing i have.

ohhhhh through text is better. if it was through text i would’ve blocked them, dropped out of school, moved countries, changed my name and started a new life in a large city where no one knows me. a much better response tbh. luckily no one at school had my number and so that could never happen :). I think basically the ideal situation here is just no one ever likes me. that works out well.

sdjhfkshdfsdf i cannot believe any part of me thought that lie would work. i was just like how do i explain the american thing without saying we met on the internet. i know. we met in new zealand but he moved because ... [rolls dice] his parents didn’t approve. this is DEFINITELY a much better explanation for the long distance thing. i think i grew up a LOT slower than most of the people i knew so it was a lie that probably would’ve suited a younger audience better sdfkshdfk.

oh yeah dude. i’ve had friends willing to kind of explain sexual attraction to me and it...still does not seem believable. I still feel like I’m being tricked. this seems fake. you just...see people and...no that sounds fake. no way. that’s a bit extreme don’t you think. for me it wasn’t until i started to click with how others felt that I realised I didn’t personally get that and did my research. i didn’t think twice of it beforehand. being bi on the other hand, well, i knew since primary school that girls were significantly more attractive than boys,, didn’t know what about the concepts of being straight or gay or so on back then but i learned once i hit high school and i was like oh yeah. girls. let me find a label. well it was more like [several years long sexuality crisis] but y’know. regardless i still knew that. girls. 

can confirm english and writing studies attract queer people. possibly the arts more broadly but i can just confirm my little area. shoutout to the one writing lecturer who tried to draw a straight line on the board, failed, then muttered to herself, ‘that’s not very straight...but then neither am i.’ that’s legend behaviour right there.

#is 'legend' quite nz based slang #i'm genuinely not sure #i'm sure it isn't i just associate it with #stop a mate driving drunk...legend #kiwis i'm sure you know the ad #me in primary school: no i don't have a crush on anyone #me when they insist on an answer: [rolls dice] uhhhh jacob #shoutout jacob #remember when i chased you with a frying pan #good times #you stole my bouncy ball soooo frying pan it was #imagine if i killed a man aged 10 because my teacher agreed to give me a frying pan #what a wildly different life path #luckily i never caught up to him ! #i feel like each time this story comes up i'm more adult-ish than last time and it gets more and more alarming #why was i ever allowed the frying pan #also shoutout to the one friend who sat down and was like yeah sometimes i see people on the street i'd have sex with #I STILL FEEL LIKE THAT'S NOT A THING THAT HAPPENS #IT SEEMS FAKE #SURELY NOT #but why would they lie...so conflicting #Anonymous