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sixpennydame · 10 months

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Make. Believe. ❖ Act 3

Actor!Levi x Fem!Reader

The AoT Premiere approaches, but all Levi can think about is you.

Warnings/Content: NSFW, Minors do not interact, fingering, unprotected vaginal sex, creampie, infidelity (Reader has a boyfriend as first), mentions of AoT final season episodes

A/N: There will be a final drabble that highlights more of the AoT episode premiere event; I wanted this part to focus more on our two main characters, but I've been having so much fun with the extra details in the drabbles. I hope you've enjoyed my take on AoT Actor AU!!

Act 1 | Act 2

Levi can’t keep track of what country he’s in, what time zone or even what day it is.

But he knows it’s been 186 days since he’s seen you.

Japan had been a whirlwind of promotions for the last two parts of the Attack on Titan final season, with meet-and-greets, commercial shoots, and talk show appearances. Europe had been much the same, and although it was exhausting, it was also fulfilling, being back with the cast, traveling with his old friends. He was sad to see it end, but he was also excited about other projects that were coming up. And next month, he’ll be going to the Cannes Film Festival, where the movie you and he shot together will finally premiere. After eight months, he’ll see you again.

But before that, he’s returned to Japan for the premiere of the final two episodes of Attack on Titan. Jet lag is still hitting him hard, and he sighs when he looks over at the clock and sees that it’s only two o’clock in the morning. Another sigh escapes his lips when he looks over at the naked body beside him in the bed. He can barely remember her name - was it Jessica? Jessie? All he really knows is that she was sitting next to him in the bar of the Tokyo Grand Hotel and that she looked as lonely as he was. He feels guilty - he’s never been one for one night stands - but he was yearning to feel your body again; and if he couldn’t have you, then this was good enough.

These days, your face is everywhere. You’d recently contracted with Christian Dior and were now the model for Miss Dior cologne. As Levi had arrived at Haneda airport, there was a giant poster of you tangled up in silk sheets with your hair cascading down one bare shoulder. “What Would You Do For Love?” the poster asked.

When he walked in a posh area of Shibuya, there was another advertisement of you; this time you’re lying across a sofa in a black silk dress, the pink bottle of cologne pressed against your chest. Your eyes are half-lidded and sultry - the same kind of look you’d give him when you’d make love, all those months ago.

He reaches over and grabs his phone, the light from the screen illuminating his face in the darkness as he scrolls mindlessly through Instagram. He stops when he sees that you’ve posted a picture.

“Just finished filming season one! Now for a much needed break.”

You’re surrounded by your other cast members, all of you smiling. A man has his arm around you and Levi squints to look closer at the picture. He wonders if he’s just a friend, or if it’s something more, then he laughs at himself.

What is he doing? Why can’t he forget you?

He’s the one that made this choice, and he’s the one that pushed you away. You’re smart, ambitious, and beautiful - of course you’d find someone else to be with. But he can't help but wonder what it’ll be like to see you in person again, and with you on his mind, he eventually falls asleep.

Hours later, Levi’s phone is buzzing and chiming erratically and it jolts him awake. He turns off the alarm, then checks the time. “Shit, I gotta get up.”

He’d promised Erwin that they’d do a run this morning around the Imperial Palace Gardens. As he gets out of bed and grabs a t-shirt, an arm from the woman next to him reaches over.

“Hey,” she says softly.

“Hey.” Awkwardness and regret drip from his voice. “This was fun but you’ve gotta go - I mean I - I’ve gotta go. I have somewhere to be.”

“Ok…let me just go clean up a bit,” she replies as she picks her clothes up off the floor and makes her way to the bathroom.

Putting on his running clothes, Levi shakes his head. They’re two consenting adults, but he can’t help but feel embarrassed about it all. He hates these kinds of awkward moments, especially when he knows he has no feelings for the woman.

He grabs his phone from the nightstand and notices there’s an unread message. When he unlocks his phone, he sees that it’s from you and his heart starts to beat fast.

“Hi. Have fun at the premiere tonight.”

That was it, but Levi reads it a few times. He types out a simple, “Thanks,” not wanting to be rude, but also not wanting to seem too eager.

He puts the phone down but after a few seconds, picks it back up again and types another message.

“How are you?”

He doesn’t realize that he’s grinning from ear to ear.

“Got some good news?” The woman is out of the bathroom and dressed.

Levi looks up from the screen then puts the phone down quickly. “Yeah. Maybe.” He walks over to her and kisses her tentatively on the cheek. “I’ll text you later.”

“You don’t have my number.” She’s seen right through his lie.

“Look I’m sorry, it’s just that I -“

“It’s fine, I wasn’t expecting more out of this anyway.” Before she opens the door to leave, she stops to look at him. “You’re a good man, Levi. I hope you find someone who makes you happy.”

—-

Erwin stands at the entrance of the Imperial Palace East Gardens, looking at his watch. “You’re late.”

“I know, I know, I got held up. Sorry about that.”

“Still jet lagged?”

“A bit,” Levi answers as he messes with his smart watch. “You?”

“Not really. Cold showers in the morning really help me to adjust.”

Levi laughs. “Of course. I forgot you did that.”

“Every morning. Let’s go.” Erwin and Levi start jogging down the path that leads through the East Gardens. It’s early spring and the cherry blossoms are at their peak in Tokyo, pink petals falling down around them.

When Erwin and Levi were on set for Attack on Titan, they would jog together every morning. It was something that Levi had always done alone, but found having a running partner comforting, even if they barely talked to each other. Erwin had a perpetual aura of calm around him, which was difficult to find amongst other actors. Levi hadn’t seen much of him since his character died, and both had been busy doing other projects; these past weeks doing promos for AoT made him feel like it was old times.

They finish an hour later back where they started, sunglasses on with the hope that no one will recognize them. “You ready for tonight?” Erwin asks as he walks up to a vending machine to buy a bottle of water.

“Yes and no. It’s bittersweet, to see something you worked on for so long finally end. But I’m proud of the work we’ve done on it, and I’m excited to see how the final episodes turned out.”

“Me too. It was good to be on set with you again, even for just a short moment.”

“Yeah, those were not fake tears coming down my face, let me tell you,” Levi admitted with a laugh.

As both men walked through the park, Levi reached into his pocket to check his phone and sure enough, there was another text from you:

“I’m doing good. :-)”

It elicits a smile from Levi and Erwin laughs. “What?” Levi asks defensively.

“Oh nothing,” Erwin replies, “that’s just an awful big smile. Must be someone special.”

“Someone I was trying to forget, actually.”

“And why would you do that?”

“Because I’m an idiot and I thought it’d be better that way for her.”

“Ah, I see.” Erwin sits down on a bench under a sweeping sakura tree and Levi follows. “Levi, in all the years I’ve known you, you’ve always put others ahead of yourself. It’s one of the things I admire most about you. But sometimes, you should be a little selfish.” He puts a hand on Levi’s shoulder. “And it’s ok to go after the things that you want. When you do that, life finds a way of working itself out.”

Levi smiles. Even off-screen, Erwin had a way of saying the wisest thing, right when he needed it most. “Yeah. Maybe you’re right.”

“‘Course I’m right,” Erwin grins. “And as your commander, my final order is for you to go after this woman with your whole heart.”

They both laugh and talk as they make their way out of the park and to the busy streets of Tokyo. When Levi returns to his hotel and enters the elevator, he feels his phone buzz. It’s another message from you, and Levi’s eyes go wide when he reads it:

“I’m in Tokyo to attend the AoT premiere. I hope you don’t mind.”

——

Iceland was cold. And lonely.

The last six months shooting the series had been an incredible experience. The cast was a mix of seasoned actors and newbies just starting out, and with a young, emerging director looking to prove himself, you knew that you were a part of something great. The days were long and sometimes exhausting, and often ended up with you collapsed on your bed looking over lines into the wee hours of the morning. For the most part, you were happy.

But god, you missed Levi.

That last night you saw him, you couldn’t understand why he thought it would be better for you two to be apart, but you pretended to be ok with it. And it had taken everything in you not to knock on his door the next morning when you were leaving. You’d seen the jealousy on his face that night - you knew he still cared for you. But your pride had you walk away without so much as a goodbye. It’s what he wanted, right?

So you tried to move on and forget him. You’d even started dating someone on set; a feeble attempt to prove to yourself (and to Levi, in a way) that you could be a working actor and keep up a relationship. He was nice enough and the sex was good, but it just wasn’t the same. Something was missing.

You knew Levi hated social media and never updated his Instagram account, so you started following his AoT co-stars, hoping to get just a glimpse of him. Every once in a while, a video would come out on YouTube of him in an interview with other cast members, and you’d smile at how awkward he was at being himself in front of a camera.

When the date of the AoT premiere was announced, you immediately contacted your agent to get you on the guest list. You’d loved Attack on Titan for years - you had to be there. And to be honest, you wanted to see that dark-haired, brooding man again, even if from a distance.

Filming was wrapped for the next several months, to give you all some much needed rest, but you only had one day at home before you were back on a plane and headed to Japan. As you arrived at your hotel in the darkness of the early morning, you got your phone out of your bag. Somewhere, in this sprawling city, Levi was sleeping. You wonder, does he ever dream of you?

You find his name in your contacts and send him a quick text. He probably won’t respond, you think to yourself.

When you wake up late that morning and see that he has, your heart skips a beat.

You can’t help but smile as you send him a reply. Then another. You fall asleep for an hour or so and when you wake up, he’s answered you:

“Of course not. I hope I’ll see you there.”

——

The area around the Toho Cinema Roppongi Hills is starting to fill with people as the time for the Attack on Titan, Final Parts 1 and 2 premiere approaches. A red carpet has been rolled out and barriers put up; press and media have started to set up in their usual places, in preparation for pictures and interviews with the cast. Premieres are a huge event, and something that Levi has been involved in more times than he can count, but this one - the final AoT episodes - makes him feel emotional.

Now that he knows you’ll be here, he’s glad he didn’t bring a date - not that he was looking for one. He, Erwin, and Hange had decided to be each other’s dates months ago and frankly, he wouldn’t have it any other way. The three of them ride in a limo to the cinema, along with their publicists and agents. All of them are silent, feeling the weight of this moment, until Hange breaks the silence as they pull up to the entrance.

“Ok, boys…the last ride of the three amigos..”

The three get out of the car and the cameras instantly start flashing. Hange gets between both Levi and Erwin and takes either arm in theirs, walking the red carpet and taking pictures before they separate for individual photos and interviews.

Levi usually likes picking his own clothes out for premiers, but he let a stylist do it this time. He walks down the red carpet in black pants and jacket, with a black mesh collared shirt underneath, which gives just the faintest view of his toned chest. Silver rings adorn his fingers, and he’s slicked back his hair, which he’s been growing out the past few months, just for fun. Photographers are yelling at him from every direction, asking him to look their way, or to take a picture with Hange, Zeke, or Erwin. All around him are the smiling faces of people he’s known for over 10 years, and soon, other celebrities and guests attending the event follow behind them. He looks through the crowd and sees you having your picture taken. You catch his eye and smile; he tries to make his way toward you but he’s whisked away by his publicist.

There are seats reserved in the front of the theater for the cast, with guests sitting in the rows behind them. He takes out his phone and texts you almost immediately upon sitting:

“Come to the after party? It’d be good to catch up.”

He sends you the address and a few moments later, receives your reply:

“I’ll see you there. :-)”

As he puts his phone in the breast pocket of his jacket, Hange reaches for his hand. “Are you ready for this?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” he replies with a sigh, squeezing their hand tightly.

The lights lower and the screen lights up to cheers from the crowd.

—-

Watching the final episodes was emotional, to say the least, but the mood at the after party is joyful and energetic. Everyone is drinking, eating, laughing, and reminiscing. Levi is sitting at a table with Petra, Ulou, and Eld when Zeke runs up.

“Levi, Levi, Levi, I just heard the greatest idea!” He forces his way between him and Petra. “Cast tattoos!”

“What?” Levi laughs.

“Yeah! Eren, Mikasa, Armin, and the others are doing it - we gotta do it too. They’re leaving soon, so let’s go!”

“No, no, there’s no we in this,” Levi protests as he resists Zeke pulling him away from the table. “Besides, I’m waiting for someone.”

“Oh?” That stops Zeke immediately. “And who would that be?”

You thank your driver in your limited Japanese as you leave the car and enter the stylish restaurant. Walking through the crowded space, you see Eren and Mikasa laughing and drinking with a group of other young actors. As a fan of the show since its beginning, you are feeling like a total fangirl as there are cast members from every season around you. But as you walk around the room looking for Levi, you suddenly get nervous, thinking that maybe this was a bad idea; you’re not even sure what you’re expecting from this night.

Just as you think about leaving, you see him sitting at a table with the Levi Squad cast and Zeke, who has an arm around him. He looks up, sees you, and smiles, throwing Zeke’s arm off of him.

As he walks towards you, you admire how good he looks. He’s so sexy, you can feel yourself blushing.

“Glad you could make it” he says, pulling you in to kiss you on the cheek. His lips are soft, just like you remember them.

“I wouldn’t miss it. Attack on Titan has been my favorite series since forever. To be honest, I am so excited to be surrounded by the cast.”

“Come on, I’ll introduce you to some of them.” He places his hand on the small of your back as he leads you through the crowd. Your hunter green silk dress swoops down low in the back, so when his hand touches your bare skin it gives you goosebumps.

He takes you from group to group, introducing you to people you’ve only known through a screen. You laugh with Jean and Connie as they talk about the practical jokes they used to pull on Levi off-set; you sing Red Swan (your favorite opening song) with Armin and Sasha, Levi refusing to join in no matter how hard you all try; you take shots with Hange and gush about how much you loved their character.

Levi watches you and can’t stop smiling. He’d forgotten how good it feels to be around you, to talk and flirt with you. Your hand grazes his and when he weaves his fingers through yours, you don’t resist. Your eyes shine as you look at him; you don’t have to say a word but he knows you’re feeling it too.

The two of you eventually make it over to Erwin and you blush when Levi brags about the film you made together and your acting skills.

“No, no,” you interject, “Levi is the real talent. His acting on set was some of the best I’ve ever seen.”

Erwin smiles. “I’m sure you both complement each other well and that the movie will be spectacular. I’m looking forward to seeing it.” He gives Levi a knowing smile and lifts up his champagne glass.

“Levi! My buddy!” Zeke comes crashing through the group, clearly inebriated. “And who is this? It’s Miss Dior herself.”

“Oh you’ve seen those?” The way he says it brings a blush to your cheeks.

“Of course I have. You look absolutely mesmerizing in those ads,” he moves closer to you, “just like you do tonight.”

Zeke leans on a nearby table and gives a playful smirk. “How long are you staying in Tokyo? I could show you around, if you’d like.”

“She doesn’t need you showing her around anywhere.” Levi’s voice is forceful for the first time that night. You put a reassuring hand on his arm - you have to admit, you like seeing him a little jealous.

“Thanks for the offer, Zeke, but I already have extensive plans in Tokyo.” You give Levi a smile that lets him know that ‘he’ is the plan.

Erwin comes to the rescue of both of you. “Zeke, what’s this I hear about tattoos? Are we doing this tonight?” He puts an arm around Zeke and leads him away, giving you both a wink.

The restaurant is large and sprawling, built in the old Japanese style, but is an interesting mix of East and West, old and new. There’s a garden in the center with the main area and smaller, more private rooms surrounding it. Wanting to escape the noise and commotion, you lead Levi outside, “It’s a bit quieter out here.”

“And more beautiful,” Levi replies, as you walk across a small bridge crossing a koi pond.

“It really is beautiful out here. I’ve always loved Japanese gardens.”

“I wasn’t talking about the garden.” He moves closer to you as you lean against the banister of the bridge. “You look stunning.”

“You know why I chose hunter green, don’t you?” He shakes his head. “Because it’s Levi’s color.”

“Oh really?” He is in front of you now, his hand grazing your arm ever so slightly as he looks you up and down.

“Mmmhmm, he’s always been my favorite character.”

“Nice to know I have a fan.”

“I’m just one of many.”

“But you’re the only one that matters.”

That makes you giggle. “So flirty. Is that how you get the ladies these days?”

“I don’t want anyone else. I just want you.” He looks at you with his piercing eyes. “It’s always been you.”

His words are like music to your ears, but you’re determined to stand firm. You can’t let him off so easily. “That didn’t seem to be the case six months ago.”

“Because I thought it was for the best, but I was wrong. So wrong. And I’ve regretted it every day since.”

His hand moves around your waist and he pulls you close. The lights of the garden shine in his dark grey eyes as his lips softly press against yours. You can’t help but return the kiss, your mouth opening slightly, inviting his tongue inside. When he moves away slightly, you realize you’d been holding your breath.

“I never should have let you go.”

“Levi, I..”

A few noisy and slightly drunk guests amble outside, ruining the moment. Without a word, Levi takes your hand and pulls you to a far corner of the garden, toward the private rooms. He pulls back the heavy, velvet curtains separating the room from the garden and gestures for you to enter. The room is small and intimate, decorated in a western style with a large, ornate mirror. You walk around, admiring the wingback chairs and gilded furniture, and then you feel Levi’s presence behind you.

His fingers lightly skim your bare arms, leaving a trail of heat coursing through your body. You close your eyes when you feel his warm breath against your neck, followed by soft kisses.

“Levi..I’m seeing someone..” you manage to say.

“Oh yeah?” He responds gently in your ear before kissing your earlobe. “You sure about that?”

When you open your eyes, you notice that you’re in front of the mirror and can see Levi kissing along your neck and shoulders. He looks up and grins.

“Right now I only see you and me.”

He continues kissing along your shoulder until the thin strap of your dress falls down your arm. You can’t resist him, you never could, and so you give in to your desires. You lean your body until your back is pressing against his chest. One of his hands is holding yours while the other is moving the fallen strap down lower, exposing your breast.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” he says as he looks at you in the mirror, his hand moving to cup your breast. “I’ve wanted to touch you like this all night.”

You guide his other hand lower, to the high slit of your dress, urging him to touch your thigh. “I missed you, Levi. So much.”

For you, it’s always been him as well. As much as you’ve tried to deny your feelings for him these past six months, all it took was one touch from him for it to all come back. And now you want more.

His hand finds its way between your thighs as his other hand massages your breast. “You’re already so wet for me,” he notices, as his fingers begin to rub your clit.

“You’re the only one who knows how to make me feel good,” you reply, then your breath catches as he pushes your panties to the side and sides a finger inside you.

It’s a beautifully erotic sight, watching yourself in the mirror as Levi pinches your nipple and pumps his finger in and out of you. You can’t help but let out a moan.

“‘Shhh, you don’t want someone to hear, do you?”

“I don’t care. Levi, I need you so badly.”

You turn around to kiss him, taking his jacket off and throwing it on the floor. Almost immediately, he has you pressed against the wall and is lifting your dress up to your waist. He’s unbuttoning his pants as you slide your panties down, but only get so far as taking them off one leg before he lifts that leg up and rubs his cock against you.

Levi has tunnel vision right now; all he can see is your perfect body, all he wants to hear are the moans of his name from your pretty mouth. And that’s exactly what he gets when he thrusts inside you. You bite your bottom lip as he pounds into you again and again. “I thought you didn’t care if someone heard us?”

“I’m trying to be good,” you reply breathlessly.

“Oh I think we’re well past being good.”

He pins your arm over your head as his other hand is still lifting your leg, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of your inner thigh. You kiss and suck on his neck, leaving a small mark.

“Careful there..”

“What? Makeup can cover it up,” you tease seductively, referring to the first time you and Levi made love.

He lets out a soft growl. “Then I suppose now we’re even.” He picks up the pace, watching as your breasts bounce up and down with each hard thrust. You’re driving him wild; every nerve in his body feels completely alive.

“Levi, I’m…”

He knows. He’s feeling it too. He kisses you long and hard, then feels your walls spasm around him. It’s just what he needs to push him over the edge, and as he cums inside you, it’s as if the whole world has stopped; only your uneven breaths mark the time passing.

You continue to spasm around his cock as your mind goes completely blank. You can’t explain it, but Levi elicits the longest, most intense orgasms from you. It’s just how your body reacts to him - you can’t explain it.

He says your name in your ear, his voice deep and raspy. “Will you forgive me? For all the time we wasted apart. I don’t want to do any of this without you.”

“Yes. Yes, I forgive you.” You run your fingers through his silky hair. “I know we can make this work.”

Of course you forgive him. You’d forgiven him the moment you laid eyes on him tonight; maybe even before that.

The bottom of your dress falls back over your legs and Levi gently pulls the straps back up on your shoulders. You are his, and he is yours - it’s always been this way, and now both of you know it. As you fix your hair and touch up your lipstick in the mirror, there’s a commotion in the garden.

“Leeeeeviiiiiiiii! Where are you? We’re getting tattoos!”

He’d know that yell anywhere: it’s Hange.

“Yeah, come on, Levi! We’re all getting tattoos!”

And Zeke is with them.

“Goddammit. Let’s stay here a little longer.”

You laugh. “You should do it…for memories.” You cup his cheek and give him a kiss. “Get it on your ass, so then only I can see it.”

At that, Levi rolls his eyes. “Don’t make this weirder than it already is.”

He takes your hand in his, then meets the screaming duo in the garden. “Ok, fine, let’s do this,” he resigns, as he leads you along to join the group.

“You want me to come too?”

“Of course.” His face is serious, but there’s a joy in his eyes. “I don’t intend on letting you out of my sight.”

“Yes!” Zeke exclaims. “Eren, Levi is in! Let’s go!!”

And so you walk, hand in hand, out of the restaurant to find the others.

——

“There’s no denying that the two of you have an incredible chemistry in the film. Did that come naturally?” the interviewer asks.

“I think I felt that spark between us almost immediately. Wouldn’t you say?” Levi answers.

“Oh yes, absolutely,” you reply fondly.

It’s the week of the Cannes Film Festival and you and Levi are on the interview circuit. After the AoT premiere, you broke up with your boyfriend and stayed with Levi in Tokyo, then went with him to Singapore and Seoul as the cast traveled from city to city. The month flew by and the next thing you knew, you were both traveling to France.

You’re together everywhere, and the paparazzi have quickly deduced that you're an item. It’s been a hot topic of all the celebrity and gossip sites, but neither of you care - a rare occurrence, for Levi especially, who has always valued his privacy intensely.

“And you’re actually a couple in real life, correct?”

“We are.” You answer tentatively. “He tolerates me, anyway.” You make light of it, but answering this question always makes you nervous, since you’re not quite sure how much Levi wants to share.

“More than tolerate,” Levi squeezes your hand, “she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to my life.”

He knew this question would come up, because it always does these days. But he’s realized, he’s not concerned with the gossip or the naysayers; he knows that whatever challenges come your way, the two of you can ride it out.

He believes this will work, because he’s in love with you. And after this interview is over, he’s going to tell you exactly that.

Join my taglist!

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#levi ackerman smut #levi x fem!reader #levi x reader #levi x you #actor!levi #aot actor au #aot actor au fan fiction #aot fanfiction #n.sfw #sixpennydame series #sixpennydame make.believe.#make.believe. part 3

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hoodharlow · 1 year

Text

Que Asterik

AN: I was taking a break but then I saw @jacksmoviestar post and had to make an Insta AU. Tyyy for letting me use your idea <3 I had this queued but redid it bc Jackman had the audacity to go to the Givenchy mens fashion show

Requested? No

Warnings: none general fluff

Word Count:

@'mdmupdates: Miriam Instagram Stories (June 19)

@'jackfan: lol his team learnt their lesson and flew out to be there the day before

@'miriamstan: she did my man dirty with those captions 😭

-> @'mackshipper: well he is nosy remember the Drake video from Turks and Caicos lol

@'mackshipper: I love that she can be unserious with him. They bring thst out of each other

@'mdmxjhupdates: 😭

View all 2343 comments

•••

@'mackupdates: Jack and Miriam out in Cannes

@'mdmxjh: not them color coordinating 😭😭😭

@'antimack: honestly, all she does is follow Jack around

->@'miriamxjack: they haven't been together since their double date with Zendaya and Tom Holland in Oakland. she was promoting her new movie the last few weeks while Jack was in Louisville and Boston.

@'mdmclosets: not Miriam wearing Jack's pants

-> jackfan: where are they from?

->@'mdmclosets: they're ones he wore on his Boston concert back in October

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•••

@'mdm: eso eso que asterik, que asterik

@'jackharlow: okay bisexuality

-> @'mdm: do you mean duality 💀

->@'memepage: every queer girl needs her hetero himbo

@'josephdominguez: since when can you swim

->@'Taylorrooks: we were on the shallow end

->@'mdm: don't expose me like that

@'theestallion: I mean c'mon

@'zendaya: stunning 😍

@'haileybieber: what a cutie

@'mdmxjhupdates: how can she be adorable and hot at the same time 😫

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•••

@jackharlowsource: Jack and Miriam leaving a restaurant in Cannes

@'jackstan: oh he looks pissed

->@'miriamstan: the pap that tried to sue Miriam for assault when she was there and kept harassing Miriam

->@'Twitterstan: huh?!?!

->@'miriamstan: check her Wikipedia, there's a whole section on it. Apparently the guy grabbed her as a joke at a fashion show and she kicked him in the nuts

@'mackshipper: Miriam pulling him like a wattpad girlfriend 😭

@'miramismother: why he kinda 🥵 when he's telling off the pap

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Jack via Instagram Stories

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Miriam via Instagram Stories

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@'mackupdates: Jack and Miriam at the Givenchy show

@'mdmclosets: I just know Miriam styled him 😫

@'mackaremyparents: they finally went to a fashion show, I've been waiting for this since forever

@'miriamfan: they both look so effortlessly good

@'jackxmiriam: Miriam did THAT

@'antimack: it's not that hard to pick clothes, idk why y'all are praising Miriam 🙄

->@'mdmxjh: babe it is, why do you think @'hautelemode would make fun of Jack when his old stylist dressed him. Miriam has videos and written articles on this, don't come for her when you obviously don't know

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Taglist: @heavyhitterheaux @cherry4everrr @carma-fanficaddict @youngharleezy @youngharleezyxo @babyharleezy @that-90s-girllll @alinaharlow @harlowcomehome @nattinatalia @webinurcloset @gassyandsassy1 @jackharloww @awhore4moree @noescapricho-essentimiento @a-moment-captured @neon-lights-and-glitter @purecinnamonextract @whywontyoulovemecami @camificrecs

#jack harlow #jack harlow insta au #jack harlow instagram au #jack and miriam

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watusichris · 4 years

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Leon Russell Au Naturel

When Les Blank’s A Poem is a Naked Person, his long-suppressed feature about Leon Russell, was finally exhumed some years back, I wrote about the film for the Night Flight web site. The story has since been scoured from the web. The film is airing Monday on TCM at the ungodly hour of 7:15 a.m. PT, as part of its Labor Day music movie marathon, so I decided to dig up my old piece and re-post it to supply some back story. It’s quite a picture, but it is not for the impatient or the squeamish. ********** Virtually unseen for more than 40 years, A Poem is a Naked Person, Les Blank’s portrait of Leon Russell, receives a formal Los Angeles premiere on July 8 with a screening at the Theatre at the Ace Hotel; a week of showings at Cinefamily, under the auspices of Allison and Tiffany Anders’ Don’t Knock the Rock Festival, commences on July 10. The reason for the picture’s long suppression is simple: Russell and his Shelter Records partner Denny Cordell commissioned Blank to make a promotional movie, and he gave them an art film, and not a flattering one at that. Therein lies a very interesting rub.

Some slightly convoluted back story is necessary. By 1972, when Blank was hired to create his portrait of the musician, guitarist-keyboardist-songwriter Russell had risen to a position of commercial eminence after years as one of L.A.’s top studio guns. Graduating from work in the house band of the weekly TV rock showcase Shindig! and record dates with such diverse clients as Phil Spector, the Byrds, and Herb Alpert, the Tulsa-born musician moved into the spotlight as musical director for Delaney and Bonnie Bramlett’s stomping R&B- and gospel-infused group and Joe Cocker’s huge, circus-like Mad Dogs & Englishmen unit.

Dubbed “The Master of Time and Space,” Russell began a fruitful label partnership with British producer Cordell with the inauguration of Shelter in 1970, a year before a high-profile appearance in the house band at George Harrison’s Concert For Bangla Desh. He bumped into the U.S. top 20 with his second solo album in 1971, but the 1972 LP Carney soared to No. 2 and spawned the No. 11 single “Tight Rope,” which was animated by Russell’s rolling keyboard work and rough yet affecting singing. The three-LP concert collection Leon Live would reach the top 10 and cement his position as a solo star in 1973.

Russell and Cordell doubtlessly envisioned a conventional feature surveying the musician’s stage show and sessions for a forthcoming country album when, on the recommendation of the American Film Institute, they commissioned Blank. By then active in Northern California for a dozen years, the director had made his rep with earthy short features about a pair of Texas musicians, bluesman Lightnin’ Hopkins (The Blues According to Lightnin’ Hopkins, 1968) and songster Mance Lipscomb (A Well Spent Life, 1971).

For nearly two years, Blank and his collaborator Maureen Gosling set up shop at Russell’s home and studio complex on a lake outside Tulsa, where they filmed the performer at work and play, and also cut their footage of Louisiana zydeco musicians Clifton Chenier and Boisec Ardoin into the pungent short films Hot Pepper and Dry Wood. The filmmakers humped their gear to gigs in Anaheim, New Orleans, and Austin, and to studio rehearsals at Bradley’s Barn in Nashville for the album Hank Wilson’s Back, the sincere and soulful 1973 country project that bewildered his core fans, essentially marking the end of Russell’s tenure as a top-flight rock attraction.

After an abortive attempt to screen A Poem is a Naked Person at the 1974 Cannes Film Festival – the print wasn’t ready – Russell and Cordell basically put the feature on semi-permanent ice, allowing it to be screened only by permission, with Blank in attendance. It remained an elusive commodity until the director’s death in 2013. At the urging of Blank’s son Harrod, Russell reconsidered the matter of its availability; a screening at this year’s South By Southwest Film Festival prefaced a national theatrical release, and a DVD from the Criterion Collection, distributor Janus Films’ home video line, is anticipated.

Russell has long been mum about his reasons for keeping the picture out of circulation; queried in recent interviews, he has glibly replied, “I don’t know,” or “I don’t remember.” But it seems obvious that the producers’ intentions and the filmmakers’ execution were widely divergent. If Russell and Cordell thought they were going to get a puffy documentary that would push their product, they were sorely disappointed.

A Poem is a Naked Person bears a striking resemblance, in style if not entirely in content, to a pair of quite radical contemporaneous films. The most obvious analog is Cocksucker Blues, Swiss-born photographer and indie filmmaker Robert Frank’s notorious backstage look at the Rolling Stones’ 1972 U.S. tour; a jumpy saturnalia of sexual escapades, heroin abuse, and hotel-room boredom, with occasional concert footage, it scandalized the band, who have enforced restrictions similar to those imposed on Blank’s movie upon its exhibition. Photographer William Eggleston’s long-gestating Stranded in Canton, which features pianist Jim Dickinson and musician/bank robber Jerry McGill among its cast of Memphis and New Orleans weirdoes and eccentrics, was shot on portable video equipment ca. 1973 and finally cut into something resembling finished form by Bluff City writer-documentarian Robert Gordon in 2005. It’s an incandescent rebel depiction of life on the distant fringes of art and music.

Frank’s and Eggleston’s highly personalized, jaggedly edited, impressionistic features, brimming with often appalling extra-musical incident, don’t fit the description of what we’ve come to call “music documentaries,” and neither do Blank’s pictures. The best-known films the director made before his encounter with Russell, though they boast musicians (Hopkins and Lipscomb) as their central figures, likewise operate well beyond the parameters of conventional music docs. Though there is a good deal of music-making and ass-shaking in them, they are at heart about the communities in which the music was made, with their indigenous landscapes, customs, cuisines, and spiritual concerns. An observer of folklife at heart, Blank was an unlikely, even incongruous, candidate to make a movie about a rock star – essentially, an industrial film for music consumers.

Like the subjects of Blank’s earlier films, Russell is witnessed at home a good deal, and the director slathers his film with super-saturated images of local color shot in and around the musician’s Oklahoma base – a pow-wow of the Tulsa Indian Club, a tractor pull, a holiday parade, a literal wild-goose chase, the implosion demolition of Tulsa’s ancient (and perfectly named) Bliss Hotel. But Russell – prematurely gray, long-haired and bearded, always bearing a glazed, slightly stoned mien -- appears before us as a man without a country, almost an alien, dislocated from his roots, ferried to his far-flung gigs in long limousines as black as hearses.

As a protagonist, Russell most resembles the central figure in a later Blank production, 1982’s Burden of Dreams. That unsettling feature follows the chaotic production of German director Werner Herzog’s film Fitzcarraldo in the heart of the Peruvian Amazon. The reckless and megalomaniacal filmmaker is seen slowly coming apart as, cut off entirely from civilization, he single-mindedly pursues his quixotic and extremely hazardous project, which entails the climactic hauling of a 20-ton boat up a steep incline; by the film’s end, Herzog appears as mad as the lunatic hero of his saga, who longs to build an opera house for Enrico Caruso in the middle of the jungle. Though Russell is never depicted in extremis, as Herzog is, Blank implies that, unlike the Southern musicians the director depicts so affectionately and respectfully, the Oklahoman is like Herzog also a man who has drifted too far from his native shore.

Music plainly is what brings Russell alive; it is at the heart of A Poem is a Naked Person, and it is often splendid, a saving grace. There are lovely cameos by George Jones (playing “Take Me” solo in Russell’s home studio) and Willie Nelson (essaying “Good Hearted Woman” at a gig in Austin, and accompanying fiddler “Sweet” Mary Egan on “Orange Blossom Special”). Several truncated yet forceful performances by Russell’s road band – augmented by a gospel-styled quartet, Blackgrass, led by Rev. Patrick Henderson – are on view. In one simple yet eloquent sequence, Russell’s deeply felt cover of Hank Williams’ “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry” plays under footage of clouds drifting across the face of the moon, as they do in Williams’ lyrics; it’s obvious, but nonetheless affecting.

One of the bleaker streaks in the film can be found in some of the sequences shot during the sessions for Hank Wilson’s Back in Nashville. These scenes are not totally bereft of a certain joy: Russell takes obvious delight in the expertise of his A-Team accompanists. One delicious scene finds him in an awed duet with Charlie McCoy, a secret hero of Bob Dylan’s Nashville-based albums from Blonde On Blonde to Self Portrait; the bespectacled McCoy looks like an accountant on his way to a tee time, and he plays and sings his ass off. But some of the other Music City studio gunslingers’ envy of and contempt for their contractor – like themselves a session guy, but one who has hit the jackpot – is scarcely concealed. Hotshot pianist David Briggs – whose obscene rendition of the Beatles’ “Lady Madonna” was expurgated in later prints of the film at Russell’s insistence – says at one juncture, in a blatant dig at his session boss, “I’m the guy they call when you can’t do your own fucking piano work.”

There is also an ugly confrontation in the Nashville studio with folk singer-songwriter Eric Andersen, who was apparently barred from entering the facility for his own session by Russell’s security staff. Russell belittles and insults Andersen with an arrogant rocker’s noblesse oblige, drily telling him, “You write some very beautiful goddamn songs,” which prompts the reply, “You’re jiving.” For his part, Andersen voices skepticism about the legitimacy of Russell’s onstage thunder: “I couldn’t tell if you’re a revivalist man, trying to put something over, where it was coming from.” You find yourself asking if Blank may not harbor the same doubt.

Blank ladles further darkness, grotesquerie, and bile over the proceedings throughout. Using non-linear, densely layering techniques pioneered in the ‘60s by French New Wave director Jean-Luc Godard – whose ironic quote, “The day of the director is dead,” is seen on the film’s concluding title card, below Blank’s credit – the filmmaker atomizes the action, or comments on it, using a vocabulary of startling jump cuts, head-spinning juxtapositions, and dialog rendered as on-screen legends (“GET THOSE GOD DAMN CAMERAS OFF US”).

Thus, in one extraordinary sequence, footage of a wasted concertgoer being ejected from one of Russell’s gigs is intercut with shocking shots of a boa constrictor killing and devouring a baby chick. (The snake is the “pet” of artist Jim Franklin, who is seen elsewhere adorning the bottom of Russell’s swimming pool, after coolly collecting scorpions off its walls.) In another scene, a snippet of fiddler Johnny Gimble improvising a lively solo in the studio is abruptly interrupted by the screaming freakout of a bare-chested young man on a very bad acid trip in an unidentified hotel room.

Blank seems to imply that for all the tambourine shaking and Chautauqua-tent fervor of his sound, Russell makes music that only mimes the spiritual core of its sources. Nowhere is this more apparent than in a ragged jump cut from minister-musician Henderson playing at a Pentecostal church service to his group Blackgrass rocking the praise at one of Russell’s shows. The first performance, Blank suggests, is about true religion of the most devout order – the real thing, as it were -- while the second is no more than entertainment.

In the end, Blank says without a flinch, this music is about the dollars. At one point he trains his camera on a teenage hitchhiker outside one of Russell’s shows; with a guitar slung on his back and a cardboard sign reading, “Oklahoma City” in his hand, the deluded kid says, “I wanna make it in Hollywood like Leon does – make a million dollars playin’ gee-tah.” The most damning exchange in the entire picture comes when an acquaintance poses a question to Russell after his performance at a friend’s wedding. Russell repeats the question – “If I didn’t get paid for singing, wouldn’t I sing?” – and leaves it hanging in the air, unanswered.

One can easily understand why Russell and Cordell were mortified, even horrified, by Blank’s film and sat on it for four decades. A Poem is a Naked Person used the language of cinema to subvert the film’s intended purpose as a self-glorifying sales tool. Instead, it ended up being a probing and dialectical work that used Russell’s music much as Godard himself employed the Rolling Stones’ music (far less effectively or coherently) in his Sympathy For the Devil. As it often has over the course of time, great art – and Blank’s movie definitely qualifies as such – operates at cross-purposes to a patron’s wishes.

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bigyack-com · 4 years

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Year Ender 2019 Fashion: The year of throwback fashion trends, comeback styles, tulle, quilting, typography and more - fashion and trends

2019 has been an interesting year in several ‘comeback’ styles. From making a statement once again on the global runways, some styles were embraced on red carpets, film fashion, street fashion and even for those easy-to-fix everyday wardrobe. If you take a good look around, there’s fashion inspiration all around you. Each season, there’s a buzz about what the next trend is going to be and so we keep our eyes peeled to our mobile phone screens for what to watch out for, what to wear to the next outing, how to wear our hair, carry an accessory or just keep it simple? Here’s a tip, even the seemingly no makeup look/au naturale look requires work and the one who knows it can spot it with that much ease too. As the year comes to a close, it’s only right to call 2019 the year of throwbacks into who wore what and when a decade or two ago! We saw the return of miniature accessories, bike shorts, slip dresses, animal prints and more that gave us a return to the 1990s, while sleeves, tulle and sneakers had quite a moment this year. From style icons like Rihanna, Jennifer Lopez, Kim Kardashian West, Gigi Hadid to Anushka Sharma, Priyanka Chopra, Malaika Arora and many others closer to home, we’ve seen and learnt how to stay updated with looks that aren’t so new but can still evoke vivid memories, regardless of how long it’s really been.Here’s a round up of the top style trends of the year to add to your shopping bag because it’s always a good time to relive the last season or the one before that. What do you think? Read on.Tulle: Marc Jacobs closed New York Fashion Week Spring/Summer 2020 with a plethora of ruffled gowns, feather-work incorporated in the various styles that made an appearance at this season’s fashion week that also set the other global fashion weeks in motion. It was also the year of Giambattista Valli’s collaboration with H&M where the long and short of tulle debuted in the global markets and most of our wardrobes. Actor Deepika Padukone rocked a lime green tulle dress on the Cannes Film Festival red carpet this year with a head wrap in shell pink. The year also saw a return of the classic Prarie dress mostly paired with exaggerated ruffles and puff sleeves.

Padded headbands: Velvet, bejewelled or embellished — big, puffy and padded headbands were seen making a comeback this year, straight out of a ‘90s lookbook. Italian fashion designer Miuccia Prada incorporated thick headbands into Prada’s Spring/Summer 2019 runway show, leading to the return of this vintage favourite. Gossip Girl’s Blair Waldorf too was often spotted wearing headbands during the course of the show. Padded headbands seemed to have replaced top knots as a preferred summer trend of 2019 and were embraced by fashionistas and influencers worldwide. Kate Middleton was an early adopter of this trend and interestingly, Princess Diana too had sported this trend in the early ‘90s. Designers this year went a step further by increasing the wearability of these headbands by giving them a fashionable facelift such as Victoria Percival’s pearl-studded headband, worn by Hanne. Tiny sunglasses: Actors Sonam Kapoor Ahuja and Alia Bhatt were both seen wearing teeny-tiny ‘Matrix’ sunglasses at separate events but did you wonder if you’ve seen them before somewhere? These sunnies have been having quite a moment ever since Kendall Jenner, Gigi Hadid and Bella Hadid sported them. There was also a conversation about how they’re fashionable but not a great addition because they do nothing to protect the eyes, but if I had to, I would wear these cutesy accessory on a cloudy day too. Even Kareena Kapoor Khan has been spotted wearing micro-sunnies.

Baguette: Le Mini Chiquito, a ‘fingerbag’ as it was termed by various fashion insiders, made its debut at the Paris Fashion Week earlier this year. It was a shrunken version of the miniature and already cult $500 (440-euro) ‘Le Chiquito’ bag which celebrities like Rihanna and Kim Kardashian were seen clutching between their thumb and forefingers because of its compact size at a mere 5.2 centimetres (two inches) long. While this trend never made it beyond the fashion week, the baguette surely made a comeback from (no guesses) the late nineties lookbook that global celebrities including Priyanka Chopra, Sonam Kapoor, Dua Lipa strutted around carrying this ‘palm’ candy, so to speak. An early 2000s episode of Sex and the City is an easy reminder of this trend when Carrie Bradshaw gets mugged on the streets of New York but doesn’t fear policing the outlaw about his major fashion faux pas of calling her ‘baguette’ a handbag! Murse: Compact yet voguish bags for men became an interesting trend this year ranging from cross-body, fanny packs, top handle totes, and compact clutches that pretty much managed to steal the limelight at various men’s fashion shows this year. The brand, Hermes, had men walking with the oversized version of their signature Birkin bags. While Kim Jones, Dior’s men designer gave a touch of feminine flair to the tailored suits paired with newsprint styled bags, cross-body bags, and box-like clutches. Additionally, it was Louis Vuitton’s fresh experiments with models carrying flower-adorned handbags. Other notable designers namely Celine and Jacquemus had designs with a beachy finesse to the bags including straw shoulder bags and net-style sling bags. What’s even more interesting is that these bags didn’t just become runway favourites, celebrities including singer Nick Jonas took the lead and proved how the ‘murse’ could be of real use! Oversized bags: Bottega Veneta’s Large Tote and Maison Margiela’s Glam Slam proved how the carry-your-whole-life-with-you-totes were the fashion paradox most fashionistas and fashion influencers embraced after the surge of the baguettes and their variants earlier in the year. The oversized bags refreshing practicality and unrestrained space appealed to most women who have always felt the need for bigger bags to hold multiple objects such as a book, makeup bag, their laptop, a large wallet, planner, umbrella etc.Fluorescent colours: The neon trend might have been introduced atleast half a decade ago and caught on almost instantly, but 2019 was the year when it was seen either complementing an outfit as an accessory or an entire outfit in a shade of neon, be it green, pink or orange. Bollywood stars namely Deepika Padukone, Ranveer Singh, Alia Bhatt, Sara Ali Khan, Ayushmann Khurrana and international stars such as Bella Hadid and Kendall Jenner were spotted donning the highlighter hue amongst other names.Animal prints: Loud leopard prints are a bold choice and a favourite amongst several fashionistas. From appearing on a variety of garments including jumpsuits, dresses, pants, coats, animal prints also made it to a collection by Kenzo earlier this year, sported by Game of Thrones star, Maisie Williams. Dolce & Gabbana too had an entire collection including custom-made sneakers dedicated to these prints. In Bollywood, animal prints have been a favourite on Shilpa Shetty Kundra who is seen sporting animal prints in a wide variety in several red carpet outings as she did back in the early ‘90s when she popularised this trend. These have also been seen on popular names such as Kareena Kapoor Khan, Sonam Kapoor Ahuja and more recently, Sara Ali Khan.

Sneakers: Design houses namely Coach and Balenciaga to Gucci, Prada and Louis Vuitton created sculptural, embellished, loud and uncomfortable sneakers that opened to mixed reviews by the consumers globally. Sneakers were sported under gowns and dresses on the red carpet as well. Tennis star Serena Williams wore a comfortable pair under her bright yellow gown at the Met Gala 2019. Malaika Arora chose embellished sneakers to wear under a bodycon dress for a Christmas party. And the list could only be growing with comfort and fashion meeting at a near midpoint, atleast wherever is possible.Gucci described its off-white sneakers as “vintage” and “old school”, with an “allover distressed effect,” on their official website, gucci.com. These shoes are priced at $790 to $890 approximately and come with care instructions to keep the distressed sneakers, dubbed as dirty sneakers by social media, intact the way they’re supposed to be. But a good Samaritan on Instagram who posts under the handle @vetiver_ch took it upon himself to clean these dirty sneakers are present them to the world once again. But that’s not all, even Birkenstocks and Uggs made a comeback in 2019.

Square toe shoes/sandals: If you passionately and diligently follow fashion trends on social media, especially on Instagram, it’s very likely that you’ve fashion influencers talking about and wearing ultra-structured square-toe shoes. Italian high fashion brand Bottega Veneta’s square-toe mules ruled all summer, and women just couldn’t get enough of this odd-looking footwear that could be the next footwear trend that’s here to stay. If you do get around to getting your own pair, wear them with baggy denim, sleek trousers or a tailored suit for a bold yet chic look.Puffer jackets: Who doesn’t love staying in bed with a warm quilt in peak winters? Although it’s a tricky question, usually the answer would be, nearly everyone! One of the biggest and oft recurrent trend is quilting in an array of colours, even striking neons. You can find these on nearly everything from (puffer) jackets to shoes to bags and more. Fashion influencers can be seen rocking quilted leather jackets, mules, pumps, and clothing all over Instagram too. Few designers even introduced comforter-like collars for their jacket collections as winter started to set in.Typography: An interesting trend that was seen on gowns on runways to sarees and dresses in Bollywood fashion, typography was used on clothing for voicing an opinion, to speak the mouth or just to make a quiet statement. Viktor&Rolf, the avant-garde luxury fashion house founded in 1993 presented their Spring/Summer 2019 haute couture collection in Paris with a dramatic representation of one’s state of mind in a big way. Through layers of tulle and ruffles, their wearable art was a paradise for introverts and fashion lovers alike. Speaking of wearable art, several Instagram influencers have been at it through slogan tee-shirts, jackets, shoes and more that have found a niche fan following and it looks like this trend is going to stay. Indian designers namely Masaba Gupta, Rhea Kapoor and Anamika Khanna too brought this trend to their dresses and sarees and the same has been sported by the likes of Sonam Kapoor Ahuja, Kareena Kapoor Khan and others. Slip dress: As we’ve already established early on in this piece, a lot of ’90s fashion made a comeback this year, and has been embraced in its classic form or a renewed version by fashion lovers all over the globe. Just like a few other popular trends, the slip dress too found popularity in all Hollywood celebrity wardrobes courtesy designers like Calvin Klein and Narciso Rodriguez. Sisters Kendall and Kylie Jenner wore the slip dress more recently and gave it a bit of a spin with boots and a tee inside too. In Bollywood, Kareena Kapoor Khan, Priyanka Chopra Jonas and Mira Rajput Kapoor have worn the slip dress for an outing and have channelled their diva-esque selves for the paparazzi each time. Way back in 1998, Sex and the City’s theme song has Carrie Bradshaw sporting a naked dress that got everyone talking about what she was (not) wearing, on the show of course. A similar dress was also seen on Kendall Jenner’s recent Miami trip that found resemblance to this two-decade old dress trend.Boiler Suits: Once again a ‘90s trend, Boiler suits too made a comeback in 2019. Inspired by military flight suits, the boiler suit trend is hands-down one of the most difficult unfashionable trends to look fashionable in. Meant to be worn oversized, these trendy jumpsuits look ultra-cool when paired with sneakers, gladiator sandals or mules.Puff sleeves, mutton leg sleeves, bishop sleeves and others: From NYFW, LFW to PFW, sleeves had quite a moment all of this year on various runways, across seasons. Seen in a puffed variety to mutton leg sleeves and a more common, bishop sleeves, celebrities were seen sporting them all this year. Whether you want to channel the vintage Elizabethan age of over-the-top opulence or get-with-the-times with free-spirited bohemian vibes, there is a sleeve for every kind of mood and whim you may fancy. Sleeves add to the drama of an outfit or just speak for themselves on an otherwise plain outfit. Take Anushka Sharma’s silver white dress for example that she wore for an event, the dramatic sleeves did all the talking for her elegant outfit, giving a much-needed edge for an overall sophisticated avatar.

The arrival of some new trends, to the comeback of several favourites, 2019 showed us how the world of fashion may have done away with the rule book to give way to a renewed one. While we saw plenty style trends in detail, there are still a few others that definitely deserve a mention like tactical belts, houndstooth patterns, chain jewellery, biker shorts, nautical patterns, feathers and many more. Here’s looking forward to a new year in fashion, coming soon.Follow more stories on Facebook and Twitter Read the full article

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sorrowschengmei · 6 years

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i am tired

[tw suicide mention]

i am fucking tired. i am tired of trying to look cutesy and polite and 100% unproblematic. i am FUCKING TIRED of getting anxiety attacks daily because of my note and follower count, i am FUCKING TIRED of dealing with assholes and being tricked into triggering subjects. of not being able to vent. of hiding my explosive personality and smiling for shitty people, of pretending i’m 100% okay with my fandoms and enabling other people’s shitstorms.

i made this fucking blog bc i didn’t want fandom to be mixed up with my inspiration blog and because i felt lucky after my 1300 notes reylo piece. i was just that, lucky, i won’t get another 1000 notes post anytime soon. my artstyle is weird, i’m not a virtuose or ‘able to draw realistically’ [most of time] but fook, but FOOK, i am a nasty person. i like nasty things and my ideas are nasty. most people aren’t into this shit i like. this will not change. and i won’t go for realism everytime just to get notes, bc sometimes the piece just DOESN’T need realism to be a complete piece on its own.

i tried since that godforsaken month of december to fit in and be another one of the cool girls. but i’m not cool, and i’m not even a girl. i am a nasty bastard that loves kylo ren more than he loves literally anything in the world, and loves drawing him on ways that aren’t aesthetically pleasing most of time. also i commit the sin of being a multishipper on this shitty fandom full of shitty ship wars, so most strict reylos/strict kyluxers won’t follow me and i’m certain at least 3 BNF kyluxers had me blocked BC I LIKE SEEING KYLO BANGING THE GURL INSTEAD OF THE BOY SOMETIMES. DAMN IT.

i am not a smiley face you don’t even know the gender that serves you with smiley pictures of kylo ren kissing people and gifs of adam’s cute mug. i am a real person with real struggles, that is FUKKIN TIRED of doing things he dislikes to pretend to be someone he’s not and please people he despises.

they said ‘create a kylux blog separate from the reylo blog’. i won’t. BEING A REYLO IS NOT A FUCKING CRIME FOR GOD’S SAKE. and all my reylo is tagged, all my kylux is tagged as well, if you dislike one of them you just won’t see it on your dash. i don’t care about the follower count anymore, i fucking don’t, those who unfollow me are not my friends and they will never be, if they can’t handle my true self they don’t deserve to be here. shit, since i joined this fandom i became suicidal more times than i can count, yesterday i even sat at my balcony and put my feet off it, because i felt like it was WRONG being the way i am. being rude, hysterical, intense, hopelessly in love and 200% horny all the time. ‘too emotional to be on the internet’, ‘wallowing in self pity’, ‘ungrateful’. i felt like high school all over again, the pretty faces being popular and loved and peeps making AU’s of their art and fic and the weirdos left to rot somewhere else, away from the smiling faces, just getting ‘ew’ looks sometimes. i am fucking 24 years old, 25 this year. i’m TOO FOOKIN OLD FOR HIGH SCHOOL SHIT.

that being said, i’ll keep posting my art in here. i will keep updating ciarán’s too. maybe i will reblog less stuff bc it’s gotten to a point where i reblog so much shit just to keep the queue running, i don’t even remember what i just reblogged. this is not how i want to keep a blog. this is not how i want to treat kylo’s precious long face, as some kind of product that needs to be always plentiful on a supermarket shelf. he is the man of my life, not some kind of decorative product just sitting there to please the bored eyes of people who already saw the same fucking Cannes photoshoot 25 times in a row in their dashboards.

for those who stay, i swear it’s gonna be a good, yet wild, ride.

#tsuk sighs and says

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trendingnewsb · 7 years

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This is what 24 hours at the Cannes Film Festival looks like

Sun, films, and Jake Gyllenhaal.

Image: sam haysom/mashable composite

No two days at the Cannes Film Festival are the same.

The event, which runs for 10 days in May each year, is so jam-packed with films, press conferences, talks, parties and random celebrity sightings that a 24 hour summary doesn’t really do it justice.

SEE ALSO: 10 of the films people are most excited about at Cannes

This year was my first time at Cannes. Before I left I didn’t really know what to expect. I knew that along with Sundance it was probably the biggest festival in the film calendar, but it had always felt like something of a private party, an exclusive event that you had to be a part of the film industry to fully experience.

To give you an insight into what it’s actually like (at least for a lowly journalist like me), I’ve outlined how my first Friday at the festival panned out:

7:00am Grab a hearty, well-balanced breakfast on the move.

Delicious AND convenient.

Image: sam haysom

If there’s one thing Cannes taught me quickly, it’s that it’s impossible to underestimate the value of an eight-pack of pain au chocolat. The thing with Cannes is, the In Competition screenings start early 8:30am and you have to get there even earlier to guarantee yourself a spot. For people who hate the morning like me, a speedy breakfast is essential.

7:45am Join a (very long) queue.

In the queue for my first #CannesFilmFestival film, Okja. It’s got Jake Gyllenhaal in it so I’m already convinced it’ll be great. http://pic.twitter.com/skE77GrReg

Sam Haysom (@samhaysom) May 19, 2017

After a 10 minute walk from my hotel I arrived at the Palais des Festivals the main hub of the festival where the majority of screenings take place ready for my first film, Okja. I was particularly excited about this film because it’s got Jake Gyllenhaal in it, so I was more than a little concerned to see a massive queue of sleepy journalists winding 100 metres down the pavement from the screening room entrance. Despite being 45 minutes early, it was already looking touch and go.

I made it in the end though. At Cannes your queue-time is directly linked to the colour of your festival pass (yellow is the most common, then blue, then pink, etc.). Due to some catastrophic administrative mix-up I’d somehow manage to get my hands on a pink one. (Winning!) This meant I didn’t have to wait quite as long, and the screening room was only three-quarters full when I finally got in and took my seat.

10:40am Dash to a press conference.

Can confirm I’m currently sat less then 10m away from Jake Gyllenhaal. We’re closer to being best friends right now than ever before #cannes http://pic.twitter.com/0Gkxgf2Hr7

Sam Haysom (@samhaysom) May 19, 2017

For reasons already hinted at above, the Okja press conference was deeply important to me. As soon as the 8:30am screening was wrapped up I joined the throng of journalists moving through the Palais and then broke off to the conference room.

Press conferences at Cannes take place after pretty much all the major screenings and last for about half an hour. You can watch them from screens in the press rooms, but it’s sort of fun to be in the same room as the cast and crew and see how they react to the questions up close. In my case it was also an opportunity to take a borderline-inappropriate number of photographs of Jake Gyllenhaal’s chiselled beard.

11:10am Attempt to befriend Jake Gyllenhaal.

Here’s important confirmation that I have now been in the same room as Jake Gyllenhaal. Just look at that sculpted facial hair. #cannesfilmfestival

A post shared by Sam Haysom (@sam_haysom) on May 19, 2017 at 3:34am PDT

I’m not going to bang on about my tragic attempt to talk to Jake Gyllenhaal after the press conference you can read all about that here but the TL;DR version is that it was not a success.

11:15am Get cheered up by a singing man outside the Palais.

People will go to great lengths to try and get a #CannesFilmFestival ticket. http://pic.twitter.com/6Khp1D7SiH

Sam Haysom (@samhaysom) May 19, 2017

I may not have met Jake Gyllenhaal, but I did find this man busking for film tickets outside the Palais entrance. According to his sign, he was singing for an invite to Okja. I’m not sure if he achieved his goal, but his rendition of “I Love You, Baby” certainly seemed to be entertaining a fair few people.

11:30am Do some work.

One of the press rooms in the Palais.

Image: sam Haysom

As much as I’d have loved to have split my time at Cannes between soaking up the sun and seeing films, I did also have to do the occasional bit of work. Dotted around the Palais are a number of press rooms where you can set up your laptop and grab some wi-fi, so for the next hour or so I wrote up a quick news piece about the press conference (focussing on Jake Gyllenhaal, obv.).

1:00pm Grab lunch in the sun.

There are plenty of nice cafes and restaurants dotted around Cannes.

Image: sam haysom

Having successfully finished a whole article I felt it was high time I treated myself to some lunch. There are plenty of cafes near the Palais with outdoor terraces, so you can grab a bite to eat and soak up some sun at the same time.

2:00pm Go exploring.

The view from the roof of the Palais.

Image: sam haysom

Aside from the information pack you’re given when you pick up your press pass, nothing is really spelled out for you at Cannes. All the different areas in the Palais, the logistics of the festival, the various events that take place outside the main program a lot of this is left for you to discover on your own.

After lunch I chatted to people inside the Palais for awhile I wanted to see which films people were most excited about seeing at the festival and eventually I stumbled across a door that led to a roof-top terrace. The views were pretty impressive:

Just look at all those fancy boats.

Image: sam haysom

As well as taking some time to explore the Palais, I’d also recommend a stroll along La Croisette the main promenade that runs from the Palais along the beachfront. All the big expensive hotels lead onto this stretch, and many have their own private bars and beaches. It’s a good area for spotting celebrities, if that’s your bag (I didn’t see anyone on the Friday, but I did catch a glimpse of Arnold Schwarzenegger on the beach on the Saturday).

3:45pm Join the queue for film number two.

The queue for Wonderstruck.

Image: sam haysom

My second film of the day was also my first major lesson in just how chaotic Cannes can be. Wonderstruck was showing at a different theatre to the Grand Thatre Lumire where Okja had screened earlier, and despite asking staff for directions (and thinking I had loads of time to get to it) I ended up getting woefully lost.

My screening was around the side of the Palais, and to get there I had to struggle through the rapidly growing red carpet crowds, go the long way around barriers that hadn’t been there before, and then try and for at least 10 minutes fail to find the entrance. When I finally did arrive, I learned my press pass didn’t give me priority; this was also a public screening, it turned out, and the queue was already so big the staff member at the front thought I might not even get in.

I did in the end, but it was another reminder that I’d need to give myself way more time to get to future screenings.

7:00pm Navigate the red carpet crowds.

People come out in force for the red carpets.

Image: sam haysom

By the time I emerged from the Wonderstruck screening, the red carpet for Okja was in full swing. I did my best to catch a glimpse of Jake Gyllenhaal on one of the big screens, but there were so many tourists packed into the streets that it was hard to see anything.

9:30pm Head for dinner.

Me with my two Mashable France colleagues, Lhadi and Louise.

Image: sam Haysom

Cannes is the type of festival you can comfortably rock up to on your own plenty of people do, and there are loads of opportunities to meet new people and network. But it’s always nice to have one or two people you already know who are going.

For me that was my colleagues in Mashable France, Lhadi and Louise, who were polite enough to listen to me over dinner while I waffled on about almost meeting Jake Gyllenhaal.

You know it’s a good restaurant when your chips come in a pot.

Image: sam Haysom

11:30pm Find a party.

That mildly manic expression on my face is probably due to lack of sleep.

Image: sam haysom

There are two different sides to Cannes: the seeing films and soaking up the sun bit that goes on in the day, and then the massive array of parties and events that take place at night.

From talking to people at the festival, it sounds like there are three types of party at Cannes: the ones at clubs and bars that are open for everyone to attend; the semi-exclusive events put on by various companies and brands that require an invite; and then the super exclusive parties held on private yachts, or in the houses in the hills behind the town.

After dinner, we went to an event near the Palais at Villa Schweppes to watch a French singer called Mai Lan, who my Mashable France colleagues had interviewed live on Facebook earlier in the day.

Mai Lan at the Villa Schweppes.

Image: sam haysom

1:00am Retreat to bed.

I’d love to tell you I went to an after-party on a yacht or something cool like that, but the truth is I was so shattered by 1am that I went straight home to bed.

I knew I had another screening the following morning, and the pull of my pillow was just too tempting to resist.

For anyone more hardcore than me, though (i.e. most people), there’s so much going on around the town at night that you’d have no difficulty finding another event to go to.

Plan your evening well in advance, though. There are numerous stories out there of people sneaking into VIP parties at Cannes, but it’s a hell of a lot easier if you can secure an invite.

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