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strayflowersstarsandlove · 3 months

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𝙴𝚢𝚎𝚜 𝚆𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚞𝚝 - a Han Jisung short au!fanfic

PART 2

💫PART 3💫

Minho rolls his eyes and scoots closer to him, "clearly I overestimated just how far you're willing to go for her. And how much you want to fix your sorry heart. No, I did not enjoy it in that sense. She's pretty and she's nice to kiss but I didn't do that to spite you, I did that so Yongbokie wouldn't. The bottle was pointing at him, it was clear as day. I tried to signal that to you back then, I was trying to help".

Han sighs and aknowledges his friend with a little nod, "thank you? I guess?", he replies half heartedly, which only irks Minho, "Hannie you really don't understand do you?", "were you expecting me to giggle and kick my feet in excitement over it? Like yeah, my best friend made out with the girl I'm fucking in love with so my other best friend wouldn't! Yay so fucking awesome, I'm ecstatic", he spits out in a mocking tone, trying to keep his voice as low and quiet as possible despite the annoyance lacing his words.

His older friend grunts and pinches the bridge of his nose, breathing out frustratedly, "would you have rather witnessed them kissing and her possibly realizing that her long time closest friend is actually the one she needed all along? It's a tale as old as time, if you don't act upon it, she's going to move on, she might already have. She's pretty, she's kind, she's smart. She got plenty of options".

Han shifts uncomfortably and inhales deeply, his head pounding, his heart aching, he knows his friend is trying to help but the harsh reality of his words still stings. "I don't think Felix is ever going to confess, he confronted me about it when me and her kissed and he was crying, not even over the fact itself but because he felt hopeless, he knows she sees him as a friend, I highly doubt he'd rather lose her completely instead of keeping her around, even if it's not romantically", he tries to reason. More as a way to reassure himself, though.

Deep down he knows things might have changed ever since that day and that you and his friend could have gotten closer with the way he had inadvertently pushed you right into his arms by pretending to not have meant it when he made his move on you.

Minho snickers softly and turns on his back, his eyes flittering shut, his body going progressively lax, "who says I'm talking about her necessarily moving on with HIM?". His sentence trails off in the air and for a second Han believes he fell asleep.

Everybody around them had gone completely quiet, not even the flashing colorful lights on Felix's phone were on anymore. "Hyung?", Han tries to get his friend's attention once, and when he gets no response he props himself up on his elbow and taps Minho on his shoulder, "hyung? Who are you talking about? Is it you? Are you actually into her?".

Minho snorts and gently pushes him off, "you pabo, no. I already told you so, not my type. But I saw her cozying up to Hyunjin earlier. Like I said, plenty of options. Even if it's not one of us, she's going to find someone else, eventually. That's why you should act now, if you're really after her".

The younger chestnut brunette ponders for a second, a million different scenarios already unravelling in his brain. He bites the inside of his cheek and sighs, "I really like her, hyung. I wish I could get her back, if she would take me, of course. But I can't do that to Felix, I almost ruined my friendship with him once".

Minho hums and takes a deep breath,feeling oh so sleepy but still willing to be there for his friend, "I get it. He has a very tender heart and gets hurt easily, you care about him, we all do. But do you actually think this is better for him in the long run? The both of you painfully pining over the same person but not doing anything until it might be too late,him not even being aware of your feelings for her …".

Han turns on his side, his back facing Minho, he looks over at you, blissfully asleep in a tangle with Felix, he remains silent, listening to the sound of his heart breaking. "At the end of the day nobody's winning, Hannie. You're lovesick, he's lovesick, she's oblivious. He might never act upon it and never move on. Is that what you want to do for the rest of your life as well? Admire her from a distance? Nobody deserves her more than the other, it's up to her. But you're both unknowingly hurting each other. It's just a matter of who's going to stop this vicious cycle first".

When Han doesn't reply for a few seconds, Minho rolls on his side a slings an arm over him, pulling him closer to his chest, "get some rest, don't think too much about it now. Whatever it is in your head, sleep it over", he murmurs softly, his whispery voice just barely audible.

"Hyung…do you think it's fair of me to try and pursue her despite knowing how Felix feels?". Han speaks after a while, his eyes running up and down your spine as he watches you cling to his blue haired friend.

His hyung sighs deeply, fighting off the last bit of strength left in his body and his mind, his eyes already shut, ready to sleep: "I don't know what's fair, Hannie. All I know is that neither of you are doing enough to be with her…though looking at her now … That might be wrong…", he trails off, Morpheus pulling him deeper and deeper into his slumber. "Why would that be wrong?", "cause you're here, sleeping with me. And look who is she cuddling with".

Felix is lovely to snuggle up to, really. But the man is also a human furnace. You squeeze your eyelids together and press the back of your hands onto your warm cheeks. You are too warm. You find them a little damp, a thin layer of perspiration beading your forehead too, your whole lower body all warm and fuzzy and numb from the position you fell asleep in.

You don't even remember falling asleep in the first place, you were just watching silly videos on Felix's phone and at one point your eyelids felt too droopy to keep your eyes open and you must have succumbed without even realizing it.

Slowly, carefully, you peel yourself off of the sleeping figure of your best friend, the look on his face so angelic and serene, pouty lips and slightly scrunched up nose sinking into the side of the pillow underneath him. Your hands tap around the surface beneath you until you find a comfortable,cooler spot to roll over to. You refuse to open your eyes fully, not wanting to loose that hazy, sweet state that's between sleepiness and wakefulness, and you unawarely bump into something hard, the impact startling you awake.

Mmh..?", Han rolls on his back and then on his side, partially invading your new found space,bleary eyed as he searches for the reason his already troubled sleep got interrupted, he comes face to face with you: "hey ... Y-you okay?", he mumbles softly, his voice so low and gentle you can barely hear him, "yeah-yeah sorry. Didn't see you there", you aplogize quickly, your body recoiling in itself as if you just got burned.

"Lixy's too warm isn't he", Han blinks a few times, heavy eyelids threatening to remain shut with every flutter of his long straight eyelashes. You're not sure why he's even trying to conversate right now, but you're a little too tired and too drowsy to mind it that much, you nod and stretch tour lips into a small smile, "you're cold though, usually", he continues, his voice raspy and low, just above a whisper.

Something about it makes your lower abdomen sizzle. Also something about the straightforwardness he speaks in makes you think he might not be referring only to your over all body temperature. "I could say the same to you", you whisper back, a slight bite in your tone.

Han smirks, his eyes looking a little more open and awake now, "that's true". He pauses. Brown orbs searching your tired face, it makes you feel exposed. Even though you're fully clothed in one of your old jumpers and pijama shorts, you feel as if he's looking through you. It also makes you suddenly realize just how close you're laying together, how he could take one too many breathes and be just a few inches away from your face.

"Do two cold people make a warm one?", he breathes, "I'm not sure, they'd probably disintegrate first. Or melt. Into each other". You have no idea what you're saying. The lack of sleep is talking for you, the intense gaze in his eyes playing tricks on your not fully awake brain. "I think they'd melt too". Han looks down at your lips briefly, the flick so quick you might have missed it if you blinked at the wrong time.

The slight thump in your chest though, that you couldn't have missed even if you tried to. Your eyes are trained to his, and for the first time in years you feel as if time between you never passed. As if that quickening in your heart was always there, like it never slowed down, numbed itself out so you would stop longing for him. A flicker, a tiny thing kindling against your ribcage. Click.

It happens in slow motion at first,as if you're watching a black and white film roll out before you eyes. And you're the protagonist but you're also looking at it from the audience. Him scooting closer, your breath stopping short in your mouth before you can exhale.

And then it kinda feels like a car crash.

🥀PART 4

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red-airhead · 10 months

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| Love you too | Lee Felix |

word count - 399

drabble

genre - Romance, Fluff

warnings - idol!felix afab!reader, feminine terms, gentle love, admiration, traumatic experiences, reader is non-verbal, reader speaks for the first time in years, felix being patient, readers POV, lmk if I missed anything

It's really short and simple but it's all I had in mind-

Dating an Idol was hard, especially when being non-verbal and not being able to express how I truly felt about him. It felt really embarrassing to know that all these fans could express how they felt safe around them but I couldn’t say a single thing.

I didn’t choose to be this way,, well I did, but ever since I stopped talking I just couldn’t find it in myself to speak again. After being bullied in elementary school for being constantly loud and expressive, I decided that once middle school had hit that I would stop talking officially.

On a lot of my school paperwork I made sure it was listed I was non-verbal, just so teachers wouldn’t get mad if I spoke. Because of that though, I was never able to make proper friends, and it was kind of embarrassing but there wasn’t anything I could do. Of course I had those silly little inner monologues but I could never say anything out loud.

I met Felix in high school, a little around the time that he came to Korea as a trainee for JYP entertainment. We met at a coffee shop and while it was a strange interaction, he was able to talk to me without feeling discarded. The only way I could respond was through the notes app on my phone.

“Oh so you’re non-verbal? I actually think that’s pretty cool! You don’t have to talk to anyone and you can just basically avoid social interaction… How long have you been like that?” He was always so full of curiosity and questions that I couldn’t help but answer. That cheeky smile with those ridiculously cute freckles struck me in the center of my heart. After all of that, we exchanged numbers and we talked daily.

I learned that he came from Australia and that he didn’t know Korean super well, luckily for me though, seeing as I had come from America and moved for my parents business, I knew english and could hold conversations over text with him.

Yongbokie <3 : You’ve never told me why you’re non-verbal. You mentioned that it was a choice and not a birth defect right?

Y/N : Yeah, I chose to stop speaking. I got bullied a lot in elementary school for having a loud voice that I just slowly stopped speaking.

Yongbokie <3 : Dang that sucks.. I wish I could’ve met you sooner,, I bet you have a lovely voice!

Y/N : I’m not sure I did but thank you Lix :)

Yongbokie <3 : Anytime mate!

Slowly but surely after that, we had gotten closer, and ended up dating a year or two after he debuted. Originally, I was going to be kept a secret, but due to JYP and their new policy being that the fans have to meet the person the idol was dating, Stay’s met me a little sooner than I wanted.

I was introduced through a live, a certainly unexpected one but it was certainly okay, Felix made sure that I was comfortable and that I didn’t have to be super interactive.

“Everyone! I would like you to meet my wonderful girlfriend, Y/N! To run a little basis down, my love is non-verbal and while responding verbally is something she wishes she could do, it is basically impossible for her to do so, so please treat her well!” Felix had me pulled close, an awkward smile was on my face but nonetheless I got comfortable and stuck around til the end of the live.

Throughout the live, a lot of fans were squealing about how they wished to be in my shoes, with the way he would stare at my lovingly, run his fingers through my hair and press occasional kisses on the crown of my head, making sure that I was comfortable and warm in his hold. At one point I found myself starting to get tired, and he almost immediately noticed when my breathing had slowed and I let out a hum of discomfort from the way we were sitting.

“Awhhh, did you hear that stay? I think that Y/N is tired.. Unfortunately because of that, I have to end the live and tuck her in… I know, I know, you’re all devastated, but I promise that I’ll go live again soon! I love you stay, see ya next time.” And just like that, he had ended the live, his full attention going straight back to me almost immediately.

“Come on sweetheart, we’ve gotta get you tucked in and all cozied up, yeah?” With a little bit of struggle, he lifted me and laid me in bed, pulling the covers overtop of my body, “I love you, I’ll be right back to join you..” With heavy eyes I look at him, a soft smile on my face, and with the little power I had left and enough courage before falling asleep,,

“Love you.. Love you too Lixie..”

#Spotify #stray kids #stray kids angst #stray kids smut #stray kids comfort #stray kids fluff #lee felix #lee felix fluff #lee felix angst #lee felix smut

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boraxquinn · 1 year

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Tsuki: This is MC Bunny reporting for duty to tell you the Jimin vs Yongbokie has reached new heights. The dance challenge has been accepted and recorded and is currently at 3 Million views. Will there be a response? Will there be a collab? Does the girl that left Jimin sunbaenim for Felix regretting her life choses?

We will update you in the coming days. Until then~

*turns off the mic and drops it*

#t;talks

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bbugyu · 2 years

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Yesssssss… Chan is definitely my ult skz bias but I also bias Hyunjin and I’m always getting wrecked by Minho while occasionally being wrecked by Felix but yeah I just really love them all so much. My ult groups are definitely skz , svt, and atz but Got7 got me into Kpop so I will always love and cherish them.

If we’re talking girl groups it’s gotta be Dreamcatcher, Mamamoo, Billlie and Purple Kiss (possibly). What about you?

NOT US BOTH ULTING CHAN AND HAVING HYUNHO STRUGGLES JFBSJZB 😭😭😭😭 felix ... my lil yongbokie... i kiss his cheeks i am his protector ... nothing can ever harm him .

i also really like on/off (E-TION AKA CHANGYOON HAHA BEWITCHED MC'S FOSTER BROTHER CAMEOOOO i also love my japanese baby brother yuto <3) and pentagon (kino 🥴). i also managed to see ptg in seattle somehow 😳 i honestly dont know how that happened it was lk on accident LMAO

GAHHHH YOUR TASTE I ALSO ULT MAMAMOO 😭😭 solar <3 i also ult sunmi and somi!!! seeing sunmi in seattle for my first ever kpop concert literally made my life 😭😭 and my other fave ggs are weeekly (i ult jiyoon 💔 she just left the group but i have hopes that she's gonna continue writing songs for them because they never said she was terminating contract or leaving the company!! i also bias jaehee 😋), pixy (sua 🥹), twice (💞chaeyoung💞 sana 🥰 momo 😍), loona (🤩 olivia and kim lip 🤩) and itzy (💓LIAAAA💓)!!! i even flew to nyc the day after the seventeen concert in seattle (which i was also at) to see itzy in brooklyn for their debut showcase in 2020 😭 i've watched them grow up helppp

i love womenb <333 my kpop selection is 20% svtskz and 80% WOMEN.

#sorry for the fucking RANT lmao #i love them all so much idk how j dont talk abiut them constantly #(its bc i specifically keep this a seventeen blog lol)#ask #shhhhhimthinking #personal #about the author #🍋 lem

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iwanott · 2 years

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🐿Jisung

Two, three, four times you have called your husband and haven’t heard anything from him. You two were supposed to a vacation trip but 5hours have past since he told you he would be home.

10 pm, you change into something more comfortable, take your Kees and leave the house. You just want to calm down, buy something to eat, maybe some ice cream. You know he probably wants to be with you right now, but his work is so demanding, you are not mad at him you just didn’t want to feel that lonely in your birthday.

You were out 3 maybe 2 hours, but for jisung felt like an eternity, he called you, your best friend, even his own friends.

He knew how wrong he was and give you all the rights to be mad, but he couldn’t take the fact that you were not home without telling him, he thought you decid to left him, and so he keep repeating to himself “I should have been better with her” .

- I’m home- you said tired and a little bit sad that you didn’t went to that trip with your husband.

The second Jisung heard your voice tears began to fallout, no believing you were really there. The problems is not how sensible he is, the problem is how of an overthinking person he was, when times like this comes he remember al the bad things he has done, al little argument you had, and that’s why he gets so sentimental, cause he genuinely thinks that you deserve better.

And your way to your room you saw a crying quokka in the hallway.

- Jisung what happens? - he hug you very thigh while crying- Han?

- Call me baby- he said while sobbing- and tell me you are not gonna leave me… - he tried to calm down- Please

- what are you talking about? - you look into his eyes confuse, looking for the giddy husband you have- of course I’m not going to leave you baby, you are the best person I can ever have.

You start to wipe his teary eyes and leave a short kiss on his lips.

- Thank you for being with me Y/N.

- I mean, I did know where you work before I married you.

He, even when is a weak one, smile at you and leave the sweetest kiss ever. His hands now caressing your cheeks, almost closer Than your clothes and your melting heart can’t take every time he added a new one.

- tomorrow is going to be even better, I promise.

🐣Yongbok

-I’m going to make a reale big one- I said while trying to get all the snow together.

-I believe in you y/nie!- says a goofy Yonbok behind me.

I keeps remembering when I first meet them, ho would thought I became so close with them, who would though I would have fallen so hard for him ?

- Y/nie !

- Mm- I almost felt when I felt his presence to close to me.

- I was calling you, but you where to imerse in that stupid snow men. -He put both arms inside my coat and with his frezzing hands hugs my waist and rubs each sides.- I’m freezing

-Yongbok…- I can see how serious his state became paing attention at every move I made- I’m sorry if I’m wrong but perhaps do you like me…?- it’s almost like whisper that wouldn’t have been heard If he wasn’t that close to me.

-OMG YES!- I was afraid at how he would take it, but wtf is this ? - I wanted you to notice so long ago

-Are you serious right now ?- I said in tiny, still not believe this is happening

-Y/nie you are so…- he crunch his nose with a beautiful smile showing- should I show you?

I don’t say noting but nod, and that was enough for him to plaster the sweetes kiss on my lips.

My hands on his chest, his tightening hands on my waist, the snow falling, and even though his lips where quite cold, the sweetness of the moment make me warm on the inside.

I feel like time stop every time he deepens the kiss, and the butterflies making a revolution inside my stomach confirm that this is actually happening.

-Yongbokie- i spare a little space from us since I need some air, but his whines just make me giggle.

-Just one more precious, please - he says with his eyes fix on my now swollen lips.

🐶Seungmin

The both of you are tired, and Seungmin has knocked out on the couch while you were giving the final touch to the protect you have been working on, when you finished , instead of just leaving, you start to stare at his sleeping figure.

You didn’t notice when you start but now you were so focus on each part of his face like if someone was going to give you a exam about it and you needed to remember it all.

You fix your eyes on the corner of his mouth we’re he has a pelusa there, trying to help you try to pull it out but before your hands could reach it he stops you right there and you froze.

-You can stare but not touch- he said with a smirk on his face.

-It’s not like I wan it to- I said breaking the eye contact- you had something there- you said after taking it off

- Then why are you blushing?

- I don’t do blush- Your skin color doesn’t let you blush that easily, in fact the only way you can blush is doing intense exercise, but you definitely were blushing on the insides.

- Oh no?

You could feel his gaze on you , even though you were looking at anything but him.

He stil have your hand grabbed so he star to leave kisses all over it, looking into your eyes to tease you even more, Seungmin already knows you like him, but what is fun is to tease you so he stops and whit his free hand take you closer, so close that you can feel his mente breath brushing your lips.

-I think you are pretty much blushing now.

He said and then go to his initial position on the couch but with a bigger smile on his face.

I mean, that’s what makes Seungmin smile the most, leaving you frozen in my spot, with any argument to denied he was right.

🦊🍞Jeongnin

I nock on the door just one time and my boyfriend has already open the door and put me on his embrace.

- Did you miss me? - I said giggling a little bit

- it was 3 months.

- Don’t be dramatic, it was just 2 weeks

- It felt like 3 months for me.

He tighten in the hug and start to leave little kisses on my neck, that’s when I remember we are at the entrance of his house and anyone can see us and we are supposed to be in a secret relationship for everyone, even his friends

- Jeongnin…we are - he understands easily and without breaking his initial position we get inside his house.

Now he had me between the door and his arms and his eyes battling to look between my lips and eyes

- Can I…

- Yes

Not a second latter he start to kiss me.

My hands where traveling on his silky hair, his hands now on me, and I can slowly feel how much this is scaling. What originally start as innocents little kisses where leading now at something more. If it wasn’t for his phone I don’t know how this would end.

- Jeoning your phone- he look into my now swollen lips with a little smirk and then deep into my eyes.

- I dont care.

- Where is my baby bread I left to weeks ago- I said aftaer I saw that killing smirk.

- He is not home.

Before he continued his previous action he heard nokings and the voice of a scandalous Hyujin

- Jeoning I’m here!!!

Both look into the eyes and I run to the couch while he tries to cold down a little.

-Hey, I didn’t know you were coming today.

-We need to see you right away - said Jisung who is coming inside with Hyujin

-Are we interrupting something?

Everyone looks at me but I look at Jeoning who is still quite red for the moment we had.

-No no, we actually I was going to call you guys, I want you to see everyone

-How was the trip?

Jeongjin sits beside me and innocently plays with my hair, but I know that’s just his way to forget about what we were doing before this too came.

#skz fanfic #skz #skz imagines #skz scenarios #skz seungmin #skz fluff #skz jisung #stray kids scenarios #skz yongbok #skz feliz #skz in生 #skz jeongin

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chanlixcentral · 2 years

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🎀💌#LettersToYongbokie #LettersToFelix #HannahLovesYongbokie #HannahLovesFelix💌🎀 To 1/2 of my favorite human beings ever: Hi there, my love. So...it's been a while since the last time I wrote to you, and I'm sorry about that. I haven't been that active on here since I mostly use TikTok, but I'll try to get back into writing my letters again because even though they're challenging to write, I enjoy doing that so much. "How can they be hard to write if you're writing to me and Chan?" That's the thing: Because it's you guys. While I have a lot that I want to say, there's only so much that can be said because overtime, words tend to lose their meaning. You were so cute during your birthday Vlive recently, which happy belated birthday to you by the way. As usual, I was as soft as one can be when it comes to you because that's exactly what I am for you and Chan...a soft stan. I do have my moments of being a hard stan, but I'm mostly soft for you. I've cried over you so many times, through edits on TikTok and photos/gifs, but it's honestly worth it. The most I've ever cried regarding you and Chan I can say for sure was seeing videos/photos of you from day 3 in Seoul for the Maniac Tour on the Explore page of Instagram. I was up all night on 5/5/2022, just bawling my eyes out on-and-off for the majority of it because I was overwhelmed with many emotions. Sadness, comfort, love, joy, and everything in between truthfully. Seeing Chan hold you as if you were a porcelain doll broke me emotionally, and it's a moment that's engraved in my head forever. It still brings me to tears, even several months later because it was a moment when I knew you two were my ultimate biases. I didn't go to sleep until 20 until 6 in the morning (6:40 AM), and I was lucky that I didn't have to work on that day because my eyes were swollen quite a bit. I felt better though. Anyway, this concludes my letter to you. I love and adore you with all my heart, Yongbokie. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you've done for me and many other STAYs. You and the rest of Stray Kids make me STAY, forever and always. -Hannah, a proud Chanlix biased STAY🖤 @realstraykids (at Clarksville, Tennessee) https://www.instagram.com/p/Citll6NNZFtrN2DbkqRF5NpGwmqPVrX_YLRoFE0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#letterstoyongbokie #letterstofelix #hannahlovesyongbokie #hannahlovesfelix💌🎀

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petekaos · 3 years

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[210413] 9.15 lix fm !! 🐣

#lee felix #stray kids #bystay #staysource #yongboknet #only sharpening settings for this one (that's why it looks different than other gifs) bc don't want to risk loss of his pretty freckles <3 #baby angel yongbok !!!! :((( ily bokie #rahul.gif #*skz #lazy gifs for best boy in kpop #yongbokie = haengbokie!

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cheygolbrock · 3 years

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<3 • • #hyunlix #hyunlixdetails #hyunlixedit #hyunlixmoment #hyunlixshipper #hyunlixstraykids #hyunlixedits #hyunlixlove #hwanghyunjin #leefelix #hyunjinfelix #hyunjinnie #changlix #yongbokie #용복 #skz #straykidshyunjin #straykidsfelix #현진 #스트레이키즈 #hanjisungedit #skzfelix #hyunlixisreal #스트레이 #hyunlix #ヒョンジン #창빈 #hyuninedit #lovestay https://www.instagram.com/p/CSJjKkFpv2E/?utm_medium=tumblr

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aerimomo-mellon · 3 years

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My Lix oh my baby yongbokie I love you and happy birthday<3 I know your voice is deep and it doesn’t suit your face but 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I’m in love with everything about you lol your freckles mannn they are too attractiveeeeeeee. And your handsssssssssssss they are probably smaller than mine 😌 but it’s cute you know! 사랑해 우리 영복이………….

#이피릭스 #skz fluff #skz felix #skz yongbok #skz stray kids #skz birthday #skz those damn freckles #aerimomo birthday wish

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hyunnie · 3 years

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1) minho went off hello??? how did he not rip his jeans

2) wow innie really killed his part with minho

3) changbin plays with words so well i loved that rap

4) again what the fuck is on your head han jisung

5) literally for the last 2 weeks everyone has been like yongbokie’s so cute !!!! and now what lol

6) also wooyoung calling felix my son after that ab flash i cant with that kid lol

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theloyaltyofthewolves · 4 years

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tag info!

hi lovelies! i’ve gotten quite a few questions abt my tagging system (for those of u who don’t pay attention to that sort of thing/only use mobile, this is my tags page) over the last few days + i thought i’d try to condense all of your questions into a single post to make it nice and convenient. pls feel free to reach out if i missed smth!

1. what are your tags from and what do they mean?

individual tags:

this is not your destruction bang chan

a tag for chan + the bravery + terror that must have accompanied his flight into stray kids. he has poured everything he has into them. they are his one shot, his only shot. his life, his blood, his greatest creation and sacrifice. this tag, which comes from nothing other than my brain, is a kind reminder to him that no matter how dark it gets, stray kids are an act of love and so will never be a mistake.

learn to dance; it is your birthright

a tag for minho. im a terrible person and can’t quite recall where or who i took it from, but i believe it was originally in french. minho came from nothing, built himself on nothing. the strength in his spine comes from suffering and endurance: living through all that life has thrown at you, getting up every single time it has knocked him down. and it has knocked him down over and over and over again. but each time, he gets back up. wipes the blood off his chin. dances. because he is owed this, this expression of love and life and control, one of the most fundamental parts of the human experience. minho dances because he is owed it, because he knows that it his right.

there is no sacrifice

my tag for changbin, from a longer piece by arianna reines. the original quote goes ‘there is no sacrifice. you have got to want to live. you have got to force yourself to want to.’ perhaps a little dark, but i believe it reflects the resolution with which changbin throws himself at life. there is no uncertainty in seo changbin. that’s why he’s stray kids’ anchor, their backbone. he’s uncompromising, devoted, resilient.

gutted and rising

for hyunjin, my very favorite embodiment of the fragility of being human. once again, his tag is from a much longer quote by katie ford: don’t say it’s the beautiful i praise. i praise the human, gutted and rising. quite honestly, it is one of my favorite lines of literature in the entire world for how vulnerable and honest it is in its devotion to the human spirit. and that’s of course what i love so much about hyunjin. he is beautiful yes, but he also breakable and delicate and sensitive and irrational and ridiculous and dramatic and sweet and so unbelievably human. such a gentle soul who has seen some of the very worst that humanity has to offer, who has been beaten down and forced to kneel. who has grown tall enough and strong enough to push himself up off the floor and keep going, scarred and gutted and soft and rising.

all you have is your fire

if uve spent a single second on this blog you will probably know that i have a serious love affair with what a walking contradiction han jisung is. he is so many impossibilities in so little physical form. fierce and shy and angry and brilliant and brave and scared and small and bright. han jisung is on fire all the time. it burns deep within him, burns him from the inside out. you can see it when he enters a room, walks on stage, opens his mouth. the core of him, all that he is, this burning burning burning energy, it flares around him, casts him in gold and red and orange. call it courage, call it fire, call it light, call it whatever you want. it is all that jisung has, just as it is all that small things have.

if there is a light im going to swallow it

this is for seungmin, and it comes from yet another one of my favorite pieces of literature. a poem called ‘blasphemies at the 5th street station’ by s. osborn and if there was ever a poem i would like you to read, it would be this one. seungmin’s particular tag comes from the final verse: ‘if there is a light, then i’m going to swallow it. if there is a god, then i’m going to eat him whole.’ appropriate for someone like seungmin who cannot be kept on his knees and who has always existed in a way that is uniquely his own. no authority, no god, no force of good or evil could bend seungmin to its will because he is simply not to be bound.

i have loved the stars too fondly

oh yongbokie. his tag fits him so well that it always makes me choke up just a little when i use it. it’s from a famous poem by sarah williams, most likely one that you have heard at least in passing. the poem details a message left by an astronomer on his deathbed to his pupil. “though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light. i have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.” which, to be honest, is so incredibly lee yongbok that i’m not sure i could clarify it any further.

as above so below

jeongin’s tag comes from an age-old saying, one of those idioms that is so ancient, its originator has been long-forgotten. it is often attributed to religious or spiritual meanings, but i like it just find secular. at its essence, the quip describes the integral connection between everything small and big. the earth and the sun, the moon and the tides, the leaf and the cell wall. the way in which things that happen happen to all, no matter how big or small or young or old. befitting of the maknae, i think. an old quote for an old soul trapped in a young kid’s body.

relationship tags:

and now the loyalty of the wolves

my very general ot8 tag, for moments when i see that little bit of more that filters through stray kids and their unrepentant love for one another. yet another reference to their growth: looking at where they are versus where they once were. stray dogs, nothing more than street hounds, scrappy and feral and dismissed. they did not belong, nor have they ever belonged. but they have grown. now, when they stand on stage, they fill it out. they draw attention and turn heads. they’re still outsiders, still outcasts, still unpolished and raw and untamed. but where once were mutts are now wolves. and now the wolves. and now the loyalty of the wolves.

i will carry you home in my teeth

i’ve mentioned this previously, but this is my tag specifically for chan and his boys. it comes from a mountain goats’ song. it embodies chan’s sacrifice and devotion to his kids, his family, his lifeblood. come hell or high water, chan’s going to get them to that finish line.

do i look moderate to you?

this tag is from moderation, a trully excellent song by florence and the machine. ‘want me to love you in moderation, do i look moderate to you?’ what better pairing to fit this lyric than hyunjin and jisung? their love was born in violence and it has always been too much. the two of them have always been too much. too much anger, too much blood, too many teeth. the imprints of their fingers are pressed into each other’s chests. they have ripped each other apart, sewn each other back together. do i look moderate to you? do i look like someone who could be with you and not make you feel everything all at once?

our fate cannot be taken from us

going back to the ancients, this is a quote from dante. ‘do not be afraid. our fate cannot be taken from us; it is a gift.’ something about it has always screamed seungbin to me, something about the impossibility of their relationship. a friendship, a love, a brotherhood that should not exist and yet it does anyway, because they are too goddamn stubborn to let any force, supernatural or otherwise, make their choices for them.

2. where do ur tags come from?

the very short answer to this question is: everywhere! movies, lyrics, poetry, tumblr posts. i have a pretty long and pretty comprehensive list of tiny pieces of writing that have stayed with me over the years. i look to it often for hope or writing advice or tattoo ideas.

3. can we see it?

nope. a, it’s too long to conveniently post on tumblr. b, it’s organized categorically in a way that works for my brain, but is unlikely to work for others. c, a lot of it is personal and Not For All Eyes. however, if you do want quotes or inspiration, you are always welcome to ask. give me an idea of what you’re looking for, a mood or an experience, a moment or an emotion, and i’ll do my best. (i also have a secret writing inspiration blog that, were there to be enough interest, i may make publicly available)

4. okay then, can we have at least a few recommendations for songs or other works that have inspired you?

it depends on what you’re looking for. what kind of feelings do you want to amass listening or reading to something? the end of the world? the free-fall of first love? bitter heartbreak? the insignificance of human kind? tell me what you want + i will do my best to get back to you.

#i hope this answers your questions #love how much y'all r interested in this #i am obsessed with the novel tag + will use it unapologetically until i die #kisses from belle #anons #replies

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