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javisjeanjacket · 4 years

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Promotion - (duke leto atredies x fem!reader)

A/N: holy shit this one took me forever and im so happy to be done with it lol. big shoutout to my best bud cass for forcing me to finish this mf. i needed to get all my pent up love for oscar and his beautiful beard out of my system so here ya go. sorry mom. (and cass) :’)

also idk shit about dune so im sorry if this is wildly inaccurate, im just really out here vibin and being in love with oscar’s beard dont come for me please

Word Count: 4.5K

Warnings: ahahaha *cracks knuckles* alright SO first off this is pwp, NSWF, 18+, mature, not for children, etc. I stg if you’re under age and read this shit im gonna slap you. so they have sex surprise surprise, holding of an orgasm, kind of a dom x sub dynamic but not really, oral sex (m giving f recieving), orgasm (both m and f), oscar isaac needs his own warning who are we kidding.

(not sure who the GIF is by but if i had to guess i would say ms. taylor over at @/damerondjarin

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The sound of your boots clacking on the heavy gray floor resounded through the towering hallways as you walked. Chewing on the meat of your lip helped to focus your racing mind. Your eyes were cast towards the dark slate of the floor and you almost missed the turn into Duke Leto's throne room.

Pausing a moment to force your thumping heart to calm itself, you faced the great stone laden door. You blinked a few times and steadied the hands jittering at your sides. Taking a deep breath, you pushed your way through the door.

A long roll of velvet struck the room creating a divide that seemed to originate from it's heart. A throne sat in the center of the room, it's legs and top decorated with rare jewels from the depths of Arrakis. A chill wafted over you and as soon as your boots met the pristine velvet you knelt, honoring the man watching from his jeweled perch.

"You asked for me, Duke Leto?" You asked, your voice barely more than a whisper.

The man stood from his throne, pushing forcefully off of the arms as he did.

You could hear his boots on the cushioned velvet as they made their way towards you but you dared not to look up, lest he find your gaze distasteful.

His grey boots stopped in front of your own and he cleared his throat. "Stand."

You swallowed and rose from your kneeling position, making sure to avert your eyes from Leto. The muscle in your chest held back it's beating as you waited in anxiety for the Duke's next move.

He moved from in front of you to stroll around your figure, his pace leisurely; although his words were anything but. "I appointed you to lead my 45th Battalion" His voice was stoic, withheld.

Your breathing intensified. "Yes, my lord."

Leto stopped beside you and leaned so that his mouth was mere inches from your ear. "I have been watching you." He said, his voice tickling the hairs on your cheek.

You snapped your eyes shut and forced yourself to focus on his words and not the warmth building in your abdomen. Your lungs kept up their nervous pumping.

"You have to be the most talented Lieutenant Colonel I have ever had under my command." Gently, he reached a hand from behind his back to meet your cheek. "I would like to show you my gratitude. If you'll let me. I have heard tell of your feelings for me." The pads of his fingers pressed softly on your skin and your eyes fluttered at the contact.

You could feel your core begin to throb against the fabric of your underwear, the first embers of a future fire. As his thumb ran over them, your lips parted under his touch.

'Heard tell? How did he hear about how I feel? Who did I even tell?' You asked yourself. The questions were soon pushed from your mind as Leto's eyes fell from yours to the fullness of your lips.

Leto could feel your breath on his thumb and the warmth of it made his heart quicken. His dark eyes trained on your lips, searching the depths of you for the passion he saw on the battlefield, the unwavering beauty he could see even in the midst of a crisis. Leto grit his teeth and slipped his thumb past your soft lips and into the warmth of your mouth.

Unsure at first, you moved slowly and drug your tongue around his thumb in timid circles.

Leto's eyes burned as you teased him and you could see his jaw clenching beneath his graying beard.

You began to suck on the thumb and moved a hand to clench the top of your thigh, vying to redirect the burning in your lower half.

Leto closed his eyes and swallowed before blinking them back open and pulling his thumb from your mouth. He let his thumb drag down your chin, leaving a wet steak behind. With both hands, he held your face just as softly as he had before, the pressure so light against you that you could barely feel it. The Duke's eyes flicked from your lips to your eyes and you could see his chest thumping quickly. His lips parted and his eyes bore into you so intensely you wanted to whimper, but you fought to hold your composure. The training this very man had given you shielding you from a loss of control.

Graciously, Leto moved his lips to yours and pulled softly. His beard was long enough to be soft against your face, tickling your cheeks and chin as you moved with him. The tips of his fingers dug into your face a bit stronger now, just enough to set your core ablaze.

You gasped softly as his tongue pressed against your bottom lip. Opening your mouth, you swirled your tongue around his own, dancing dutifully beside him.

He moved one of his hands from your face to your back now, pressing against you with an open palm.

Your chest gently pressed against his and you wrapped an arm around his neck. The smell of him, cinnamon and vetiver, flowed through your nose and created an enlightened feeling in your mind.

Duke Leto moved his hand from your back down to your waist. His fingers squeezed around your hip bone and elicited a small whimper from you. The sound of it vibrating on his lips and tongue.

Your hips jerked in his grasp, colliding gently with his own and the pressure of his half-hard dick tingled around the beating in your core.

He pulled away from your kiss, but not your arms and said, his voice now coated with lust, "Would you like to continue this in my chambers?"

Looking up at him through your eyelashes and a soft smile playing on your lips, you answered, "Yes, my lord."

Duke Leto took part of his lip under his teeth and shook his head as he looked over your form hungrily. "Follow me, Lieutenant." He turned from you, his lips puffed and red from your pulling on them and began to walk back through the throne room door.

You followed him obediently, the heat of your core hovering over your legs.

Leto walked with quickened footsteps up a flight of stairs and, when you reached the uppermost part of the home, he unlocked and opened a rather ordinary looking door to reveal his own personal chambers.

You followed him inside and tried to swallow the lump in your throat.

Duke shut the door behind you and drug his fingertips slowly from the small of your back around to hold your hips in his big hands. His eyes, their depths overwhelming, held you in their grasp so tightly you felt as if you were unable to move. Leto moved his mouth to nestle in the crook of your neck and he sucked on the skin there tenderly.

Your head instinctively lolled backwards and your eyebrows pursed as you moaned softly. An animalistic need began to rear it's head within you, a need that only the man in front of you would be able to completely satisfy.

The Duke moved one of his hands to cup the back of your head.

You wrapped one of your arms around his neck and the other worked into his hair, pulling the grey curls softly.

He trailed his lips up from your neck to your jawline and finally met your lips once more. When your lips met for the second time, his touch was laced with fire. The passion in his kiss burned hot against the inside of your cheeks and tickled your tongue. His hand on the back of your head moved to support your neck as he pressed his lips into you harder than before. His tongue darting and weaving quickly in your mouth. The man pressed his hips to yours, his now fully hardened dick rubbing against your trembling vagina.

You moaned, louder this time, and did not resist as he walked you backwards so that your back was flat against his chamber wall. You sucked in air at the contact of the cool wall with your back and Leto chuckled on your lips.

He kissed you hungrily and his hands wandered up to the fasten on your top. "Can I take this off?" He whispered.

You began to tremble, your mind already whirring faster than your body. Breathless, you answered, "Yes, my lord."

Duke smiled softly and worked to undo the top fully, allowing his fingertips to drag down your bare arms, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. "You're trembling, Lieutenant." Leto whispered, his eyebrows pulled tight. He held the top still in his grasp as his eyes searched your face.

"It's nothing." You lied. The beating in your core was becoming deafening.

"Are you sure you want me to continue?" He asked again, his voice soft.

"Yes, my lord."

"Call me Duke when we're like this." The man whispered, moving slowly to kiss you again.

"Yes, my lord." You teased in between his lips and gasps for air.

The man chuckled low in his throat and worked the top the rest of the way off of you.

Your chest rattled wildly as you tried to focus your mind on Leto's unrelenting grasp on your mouth. His pace was dizzying and the firm grip on your hips was now slipping upwards to rest just under your breasts, his thumbs moving gently across the fabric of your bra. You moaned as his fingers found their way to your back and began to wrestle with the bra clasp. Timidly, you reached a hand out to the fasten on his shirt.

"Can I take this off, my l-" You paused and chuckled. "Duke?"

The man's eyes now rumbling and burning with passion, bore into yours and his mouth tweaked upwards in a half smile. "Very good. You may."

You blushed at his praise and stood on your tip toes to place kisses on Duke Leto's neck. His stubble scratched your lips as you worked on the fasten of his shirt.

Leto unhooked your bra clasp and slowly drug his fingertips up from the fabric to the tips of your shoulders and down your arms as he pulled the bra from you.

A shiver ran down your back and awakened the hairs on the back of your neck.

He gently pressed his palms to the sides of your breasts and moved his big thumbs over your erect nipples.

You moaned on his neck and began to pull his shirt off of his broad shoulders. As it slid, so did your bra, and the two garmets intermingled as they fell; wrapping you and the Duke together until real life called for you once more.

"What do you want me to call you when we're like this?" Leto asked, his voice gravelly and dark. He began to kiss a trail from the base of your neck to the space in between your breasts.

Your head lolled backwards to set against the cool stone wall behind you. "Call me whatever you want, my lord. Just don't stop."

The man's hands tightened around your breasts and he chuckled, the exhaling air a welcome presence on your skin. "I told you to call me Duke, Lieutenant."

"I'm s-s-sorry." Your breath caught as Leto moved his lips to your hardened nipples. His beard scratched against the reeling skin there and tickled as he moved.

He moved to the other nipple, sucking gently and using his teeth to scrape gently. "I'll have to punish you now."

Your hand squeezed into the meat of his shoulder. "Whatever you want, Duke."

His mouth pulled harder on your nipple and he reached a hand to the opposite one, toying and massaging it.

You moaned and tried to stifle it by biting your lip. You reached a hand out to clench his graying curls. The growing chorus in your abdomen was swelling with bravado now, it's sound ringing in your ears and chittering down your arms. You closed your eyes, the feeling of his mouth and hands almost completely overwhelming. "Duke, please..." You breathed, your chest catching.

"Please what?" He teased, his tongue drawing tantalizing circles around the point of your breast.

"I-" His fingers pulled hard on your nipple and you gasped. "It's too much, I need you...please."

Leto moaned on your skin and gave your nipple one last bite before rushing to take your bottoms off of you, ripping and damaging the fabric as he did.

You jerked as his hands brushed over your throbbing core, your body made alive by Leto's touch.

The Duke yanked your bottoms down your hips and dropped them to the floor below. His eyes never left yours as his hands worked your underwear down and off of your figure. He stood and let his eyes wander over your body, his tongue flicking over his lips as he did, and then whispered, "Lay on the bed."

Your breath quickened and you rushed to the bed in the middle of the room. You crawled up to rest against the pillows at the head of the mattress and bit your lips. Courage surging through you, you cast your eyes up to met Leto's.

The depth sitting behind his dark eyes called to you, wordlessly pulling you towards himself. As the Duke moved closer, his form strong and demanding, you felt like prey ensnared by a master hunter. A causality of ignorance.

Leto ran his hands up your bare legs and rested his open palms on your hips. His fingerprints burned on your skin, sending flames through your throbbing core.

Your abdomen seized at his squeezing, causing your hips to jerk towards him.

The Duke smirked and ran his hands from your hip bones to the inside of your thighs, pushing them apart gently.

You swallowed and you could hear the thumping of your heartbeat in your ears.

His breath was warm against your exposed folds, tickling and awakening them carefully. Moving slowly, Leto ran two of his fingers around the outline of your folds, touching you so gently it tickled. His eyes burned into yours, the passion behind them threatening to overwhelm you.

You dropped your head to the pillow and let out an exasperated moan.

Leto's hand moved from your folds to push against your thighs. He moved them so that your knees rested up close to your face and almost too gently, he pulled the lips of your vagina in his mouth. His beard tickled all over the heightened skin and sent trails of sparks through your body.

You cooed and reached a hand into his thick grey hair.

The man licked in between the lips now, a thick stripe up the length of you and a quick tease of your clit with his nose.

You moaned and licked your lips. Your eyes clenched closed and your breath left you.

The Duke reached up your torso to take your hand, squeezing it tightly as he buried his tongue fully into you, slurping and teasing in erotic patterns.

You moaned aloud now, the sound filling up the room above the ungodly sounds of your wetness and the Duke's tongue.

With his free hand, he began to push overwhelming circles into your aching clit.

You exclaimed and it came out strangled. Your legs jerked away from him and he momentarily moved his hands to pull you back towards him.

His beard rubbed against your sensitive skin, adding to the growing fire within you. He resumed toying with your clitoris and his tongue lapped hurriedly at your entrance.

Subconsciously, you ground your hips into his mouth and he pulled away at your pushing. "Stay still if you want me to eat you, Lieutenant."

You whined and nodded, "Yes, my lord."

Leto chuckled, ran his tongue over his lips, your slick still covering his mouth and beard. "You don't listen, do you?" His hands ran up your torso to your hardened nipples. "I'll have to punish you now." He growled, positioning his mouth over your dripping core. His hands pulled and twisted as his mouth dug hungrily into your slick folds.

You yelled and felt the walls within you clench around nothing. Try as you might, you couldn't stop your thighs from pushing away from him.

His touch was not as forgiving this time, pulling your thighs forcefully back to his lips and wasting no time licking hasty circles around your throbbing clitoris.

You moaned and reached out to the sheets of the bed for support, curling your fingers into them tightly.

Heat was building within you and you could feel it pushing against your back, moving you up and off the bed. You moaned loudly and bit the inside of your lip.

"Don't stop." You said in between heaving breaths.

Leto chuckled and you cried out in pleasure. He continued his barrage on your folds, the pleasure growing so immense it threatened to boil over.

One of your hands wrapped itself in his hair and the other clawed at the bed sheets. "Fuck, I'm gonna cum..." You cooed.

The Duke hummed and sat back up, pulling his mouth from your throbbing vagina.

You exclaimed in annoyance and discomfort. "What are you doing?" Your breath came out ragged as you sat up to look him in the eyes.

"I told you I have to punish you." The man whispered. He ran his thick hands down the tops of your legs, squeezing when he got to the knees.

You groaned, half in annoyance and half in pleasure and threw your head back to the pillow. Looking back up at Leto, you could see a growing bulge in his bottoms, the fabric tight against his body.

"Let me touch you, Duke." You whispered, realizing that the request seemed too intense as it rolled off your tongue. You looked up at him through your eyelashes and raised one eyebrow higher than the other. "Please?"

The man shook his head no and leaned towards you again. His hand reached to grip your jaw softly. "I'm not done with you yet."

You breathing picked up as you looked over his features. Always so guarded, so stoic, calculating.

Duke met your lips with his own gently, his grip on your face relaxing.

You whined into his mouth. The insurmountable tenderness he was showing you threatened to overwhelm you. Kissing him harder now, you moved one hand to caress his face and the other to run over the growing bulge in his pants.

Leto hissed as you palmed him, the touch unexpected. He moved your hand off of him and then brought both of your hands above your head. He held them there with his hand as he finished the kiss.

"Keep your hands right here. You move them and your punishment lasts longer." He instructed. His eyes looked into yours with gravity, his heavy eyebrows seeming to divide his face.

You nodded yes and closed your eyes.

Leto ran his hands down your sides to your hips once more. He pushed your legs up and re-positioned himself above your dripping cunt. Meeting your eyes with his own, he licked a thick stripe up your slick folds and whipped his nose back and forth across your throbbing bud.

You yelped and clenched your fingers together.

Duke slipped two of his fingers into your entrance and began to move them back and forth slowly; dragging the pads of his fingers across every ridge he could find.

You clenched your eyes shut and grit your teeth. You tried to moan his name but your brain couldn't push your pleasure aside long enough to form the word.

Leto moved his mouth now to the inside of your thigh. He sucked on your burning skin with force, pinching so hard a bruise was sure to appear in the morning.

The fire smoldering in your core began to ignite and you couldn't help the tendrils of it from crackling down your back. You arched against the bed and let out an animalistic moan.

Leto moved to your other thigh, bruising and pinching the skin there too. His free hand moved up to tease your engorged clit, his thumb dragging slow circles around it. Building with speed and intensity.

Your thighs began to clench and unclench, readying your body for the orgasm creeping up your spine.

Leto noticed your body and the building tension around his fingers. He removed his fingers from you, slipped them into his own mouth and then said, "You taste so good, Lieutenant." He unfastened his bottoms and pulled them down his legs. He took his hardened dick out of his underwear and pumped it in his hand, the head glistening and weeping for you.

Your eyebrows furrowed and you flopped back down on the bed. You reached a hand to tease your clit, the sight of him pushing another wave of pleasure through you.

"Not yet." Duke scolded, the last 't' getting stuck in between his teeth.

You cried out, frustration consuming you.

Leto pushed his underwear off his body and then ran his erection up and down your folds and pushed himself against your clit softly.

You cooed and ran a hand through your hair.

The Duke leaned over you and pressed his hot mouth to your collarbone, sucking just as he had between your thighs, with passion and intensity. His teeth bit at your skin, sending ripples of pleasure through you.

"Everyone is going to know who's you are." He whispered on your skin. He kissed a trail up to your neck and bit there again, pulling the skin tightly between his teeth.

"Fuck..." You breathed, fantasizing about how you would have to explain the marks to everyone who asked.

His cock twitched against your folds, the absolutely filthy sound of your skin against his filled the room. "You're gonna cum so hard for me, aren't you, Lieutenant?"

You whined and your chest pressed against his as your back left the mattress. You nodded and replied, "Yes, Duke."

"Move to your hands and knees." He commanded, his dark eyes focused on yours.

You nodded yes and shifted your body so that your ass sat on display before him.

Leto growled as he ran his hands down your back and over the curve of your ass. He clenched the meat of you tightly and smacked one of your cheeks.

You yelped and jerked back at the unexpected movement.

Duke pulled on your hips and moved you back to him, pressing your ass against his hips. He licked his fingers and ran them up and down your slick folds.

"Duke, please..." You moaned, your head hanging limply towards the bed underneath you.

"You want me to fuck you, Lieutenant? Huh? You want me inside you?" He teased, his tone low and guttural. He pushed the tip of his dick up and down your folds, but kept it just far enough from your entrance that he still denied you the friction you so desired.

You cried out, "Yes, god, please, fuck me Duke, please."

The man's big hands guided himself into you; finally.

"Jesus, fuck..." You whined.

Leto moved into you slowly, your walls stretching to accommodate him. He bottomed out as his hands ran over your ass and stopped to clench around your waist. The man growled at the feeling of you completely absorbing him. He reached up and tangled his hands in your hair. He pulled on your hair softly; the ache in your scalp forcing your back to sit up and meet his.

Your breath came out in short spurts, the rhythm of Leto's thrusts pushing the air out of you.

His body moved cautiously inside of you, testing how far he could thrust and how intensely he could push. He wrapped his hands around your body and landed on your breasts. His fingers twisted harshly on your nipples and you could feel his teeth biting into your shoulder.

You bounced up and down on him, the pressure of your combined efforts building quickly inside you. You moaned his name and threw your head back on his shoulder. ]

Leto grabbed both of your arms in his hands and pulled you closer to him. He pressed soft kisses on your face, his beard scratching at your overstimulated skin. He picked up the speed of his thrusts now, his breath coming out ragged and pointed over your skin.

You cried out and fell against Duke's grasp on your arms, the pleasure curling within you forcing your body to weaken. You could feel yourself clenching around him methodically, your body just waiting on the cusp of pleasure for so long it trembled, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Leto could feel you becoming weak for him and he took it as a cue to push you over the edge. He moved one leg up from his knees and let your body fall forward. He held your sides gently but rutted into you with more passion than you knew was possible from one man.

You exclaimed, tears pricking at the sides of your vision. You could feel the pressure within you building, pressing against the inside of your skin, a grenade about to explode. "Please, Leto, please let me cum." You begged, all the professionalism and aloofness you had walked in with gone. You reached a hand down to tease your clit as he answered, "You wanna cum? You wanna gush all over me, huh?"

You moaned and let your head hang limply before you. Your hand picked up it's pace on your beating nub. "Yes, Leto, please."

The Duke behind you let out several uncharacteristically passionate moans and you could feel his cock twitching inside you. "I get to cum first, Lieutenant." He chuckled to himself.

You could feel him shooting his seed into you, the streams hot and thick inside your walls. Your body began to shake, unable to contain the pleasure for one more moment.

"Fuck, cum all over me baby, shake for me." He coaxed you.

As soon as the words fell out of his mouth, your body fell limply against Duke's grasp, your entire body trembling. Your mouth fell open, but no sound emitted. The muscle in your head seized, sending shooting pain through your mind. Your arms and legs clenched, rendering you limp. You could feel your walls squeezing around him and he thrust a few more times lazily to help you come down. You let out a few staccatoed yelps and then regained enough consciousness to blink yourself back into the present moment. Your breath returned now, soft and warm inside your chest. You fell from Duke's grasp and onto the bed, your eyes dangerously heavy.

Leto moved to lay beside you, dragging his fingertips across the line of your body. He yanked the blanket out from under the both of you and threw half of it over your naked body. He worked his arm underneath your neck and then pushed a strand of your hair back behind your ear.

"Holy shit." You breathed out.

Leto chuckled, the lines around his eyes pushing together. He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. "Probably your best work yet, Lieutenant."

DUKE LETO TAGLIST: @yougottakeeponkeepinon

GENERAL TAGLIST: @softly-sad @mcolbz14

What did you think? I really hope you enjoyed reading my work. Just your liking / re-blogging it means a lot. If you have a moment, I would love to hear your thoughts! Tell me what you think via my ask box or a comment always warms my heart!! Thank you again for reading!

Need more reading material? You can visit my Masterlist for more content!

Want to be kept in the loop? Let me know so I can put your handle in my taglist form. Right now, I’m writing for Poe Dameron, Duke Leto, Santi, Shara x Kes, and Din Djarin, but I have plans to expand my SW character list, and eventually add in my favorites from the MCU as well.

Thanks again for reading! Sending love! -hai

#duke leto atreides #leto atreides #duke leto atreides x y/n #duke leto atreides smut #duke leto atreides x reader #hai writes #sorry mom

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lessrthanthree · 3 years

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SORRY got distracted on sending a followup ask, but ye! So my current hyperfixiation is final fantasy 7 rn, and the series of ff7 is a compilation! It goes Before Crisis -> Crisis Core -> FF7 -> Advent Children -> Dirge of Cerberus. These are just the games (except advent children, thats a movie but we'll get to that), theres also a 20 minute animation called The Last Order, and theres two novels called The Kids Are Alright and On The Way To a Smile. The thing is, it is often debated if Before Crisis is canon- it was only released in japan on mobile, and in 2004 at that. It contradicts with the continuity of Crisis Core, which is more canon, arguably, since it lines up more with FF7 itself. And i hate admitting that its hard to see as canon, because Before Crisis has alot of my favorite characters (which happen to be extremely obscure bc theyre from before crisis). But, recently, square enix announced a new mobile game: Ever Crisis. It is a chapter based game with new chapters every month, and it covers the *entirety of the ff7 compilation*. And yes, they included Before Crisis in that announcement. It makes me extremely happy to see square enix acknowledge Before Crisis because they havent really. Acknowledged its existence in years. And as a major fan of alot of the characters but not with the story, i am extremely extremely excited for Ever Crisis! Another interesting thing is that theyre including Advent Children in Ever Crisis, which is a movie. I wonder how theyre gonna translate a movie to a game...but, im sure itll be great anyway! Thanks for listening, and i migjt send more asks if you dont mind? The ff7 story is EXTREMELY long, complicated and fucked up, so id rather stick to a certain character if you wanna know more about one! Just say the word! But yea, ty!!

Yoo that's fine! I fell asleep and then had classes to go to, so sorry this is late too jfjdkdk

Yeah I've heard abt that game series! Ive never played one myself tho, but it's v popular 👀 at least I'm pretty sure nfdnnx, I'm at least 80% sure there's a character(s?) in smash

I had no idea the lore was that intertwined tho, books and a movie and short films, that's v cool- lots of games too apparently 👀 more content the better ig! Esp when it comes to fixating on them

Hopefully with the new game coming out, it can peobably clarify or build upon (or debunk) occurances in the debatedly non-canon game. That'd be good for the fandom!

Wish you luck with all that, hope it turns out well 👀 I may look into the series over the summer if I have free time to play a bunch of games again!

#icyanz #ask

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stuck-in-jelly · 4 years

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Don't mind me, just thinking about this conversation I had with @limebitchesagain and just wanted to word it a bit better and fully write out our thoughts and theory for this because it haunts me every night. But fair warning this got a bit very long

TW: blood, head injuries, trauma, implied death, murder mention

A lot about the traumatic event from everyone involved is very hazy, the details are all scattered and a lot of it is up for interpretation the most concrete thing we know is that the fear Mob had experienced resulted in the first ever emergence of ???% but we don't know about the other kids, we know Ritsu survived obviously and more than likely so did Shimazaki but how considering the immense powers ???% holds? Well that’s what I’m gonna analyze! that would impact them with each other.

Considering Shimazaki got his eyes burned out what the hell happened to the punk closest to Mob? I can only imagine how traumatic it was all for all of them to witness this, and how that probably impacted Shimazaki as a kid and how he ended up growing up. Those other kids were his friends, and you can say they were delinquents and probably didn't care about each other but the way I see Shima he probably was a lot like Onigawara:

Yeah they are punks and trouble makers but they seemed to at least get along to an extent, they knew each other well enough where they kind of joked around and teased each other even though in the end they drifted apart but they were still friends.

And the last think Shimazaki saw was his friends getting hurt and possibly the first one dying by the hands this powerful being . We don't fully know what happened to them, we see Ritsu in the bandaged up after the events

But what about the other kids? There is no indication besides the implications of Shamazaki being one of the kids involved.

However let's move on from that and go onto what happened with Ritsu. There are a lot of implications that Shimazaki was the one who kicked Ritsu out of the way that day when everything went down.

You can argue and say ‘why would Shimazaki try to protect a kid he was bullying?’ but consider the line that Pre-Mob Teru said

“Of course, I have no intention of killing him”

Then look at the scene with all the delinquents in Seasoning City when Koyama was beating up Mob so bad he couldn't breath

They are horrified, some crying some closing their eyes because its too much to see and some just panicking. Yeah they are delinquents but they are kids. Kids who mostly have a normal life, Onigarawa has a nice mom he doesn't want to disappoint, all the other kids also seemed to have decent families and a good home life. They dont want to murder. They just wanted to have fun. Fun.

Where have we heard that?

That’s right. We have to remember, during the time of these events Shimazaki was a kid. A delinquent yes but a kid at his core, he probably didn't want to murder or to seriously hurt these kids, they were just punks bullying for some money yeah its a bad way of having fun but he didn't want to spill blood, especially on some elementary kids.

Again you could argue that Ritsu lied about being kicked away but let's look at the position of the bodies again shall we?

In the first picture we don't see Ritsu’s body anywhere, not even a small shoe or a glimpse, then we see Ritsu in the next frame, to the left of the rest of them (from Mob’s perspective), and coincidentally Shimazaki was also the furthest most left. If he had hypothetically kicked Ritsu out of the way, he definitely would have ended up there.

So when Mob started going berserk mode he didn't really want for this child to get hurt, not seriously. So he did what he thought was best and fastest, he kicked Ritsu out of the way and maybe it’s true that had hurt him however, keeping what ended up happening to Shimazaki in mind. It’s not that bad.

But this no doubt stuck with Shimazaki, we see that he’s only interested in having fun, we can also assume he’s probably obsessed with it considering how he makes everything into a game, he toys with his victims and likes to show off how much better and stronger he is than them. This is probably how he copes with the event.

To make an example; remember Ritsu when he got his powers? He told Mob he wasn't scared of him anymore because he could defend himself now, he had the power too. We know espers awaken either just naturally like Mob or with extreme stress/ traumatic events but what if the stress and emotions of these events determined what kind of power one gets?

It would make sense with Shimazaki’s powers. He felt weak and helpless in that moment, he wanted to leave he wanted to get away; teleportation. Afterwards he probably wished he knew this was going to happen, wished he knew that he’d get hurt and so would his friends; prediction of movements. No doubt he wished he could have stopped it all from hurting; near impenetrable.

All his abilities would line up in this situation and he probably felt just like Ritsu. He could never be hurt again, he can fight back, he is stronger, he won't allow anyone to hurt him ever again. Eventually leading him down the path to Claw.

But how would this information play in a redemption arc for Shimazaki? Now we know Shimazaki is most definitely not in good standing with Mob in the slightest, which is a drastic change. When Mob had first approached Shima he was pretty calm just telling Reigen to step away from him and casually talking to him while Shimazaki was sitting there having a mental crisis the whole time, but Mob became enraged when Shimazaki so carelessly said he was just doing this for ‘fun’. It sets him off instantly.

I doubt The Kageyama’s were able to walk away from that without some anger from the other parents involved, no doubt Ritsu and Mob blocked most of these events out cause obviously it was super traumatic and their parents probably did their best to shelter them from it in the first place, but it might be possible that subconsciously Mob remembers Shimazaki, his excuse of “just having fun”.

But this is where things get complicated. Mob, Ritsu, and Shimazaki all create a circle of trauma that can't really be solved. Shimazaki was the one who first made Mob lose control of his powers awakening ???% inside of him causing him to hurt not only the people around him but Ritsu as well however, Shimazaki did also save Ritsu’s life that day. But then in current time Shimazaki did also beat the crap out of and almost killed Ritsu yet the only reason why he went down that path was because of Mob.

The circle doesn't end, you can point fingers all you want but no matter what there will always be another thing to blame. Shimazaki shouldn't have been bullying kids, Ritsu shouldn't have tried to pick a fight with them, Mob shouldn't have burnt out Shimazaki’s eyes, etc.

Mob is forgiving yes but how well do you think he would take it? Knowing the man who beat up his brother and destroyed a city for ‘fun’ was also the man who saved his little brother that day but also awoken a terrible power in him that causes him daily repression and sadness? He is already pissed at Shimazaki in the first place but he also loves his brother dearly and if it hadn't been for him his brother no doubt would have died.

How this would get solved or how it would play out for a Shimazaki redemption arc? I have no idea, there are billions of possibilities. Would make for one kick ass fanfic though!

#mob psycho 100 #mob psycho 100 theory #mp100 theory #mp100 #shimazaki ryou #shimazaki ryo #i wont tag the others

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drugaddictiondepression · 4 years

Text

23.

Fuck it. time to just get real with myself. Holi. (The girl from one, my first true love. we got back together. After me and Em broke up. and we had a 2 year relationship. 2 years, its been that long. And guess what happened. Yea, exactly the same thing. History repeats itself. youre always fucking telling yourself that. now look me. 23 heartbroken. again. But this time its different. I feel so fucking numb to my core. What does it even mean to love someone? you know they say you hurt the ones you love. Maybe that true. But yo if it is im fucking sick and tired of it, and even more im fuckin sick and tired of bein sick and tired. Im always looking for someone, some reason to blame on why I Fucking suck. One week into my breakup. we still talk but like whats the fucking point? I still feel self pity. Im jealous. Granted I had a date myself and I actually did enjoy it. This woman was the likes of something ive never seen. Ive known her for about 4 years now, longer than my last 2 relationships combined. Ive always been attracted to her, but always felt she was waaaaayyyy out of my league. Shes beautiful, shes a talented tattoo artist. And what am I? a fuckin wanna be. She did say yes and she does seem like she might have a slight interest in me. So why do I give a fuck if my Ex is going around fucking people to get over me? Granted idk if she is, but why does it bother me? Maybe I have the feels maybe im just a sad ass nigga. My Father dumped me. all my girlfriends dumped me. Even the army knows im not good enough. WHy would this woman think different? why am i persuing her? Am I just scared of being alone? is why im so comfortable staying with a woman who cheats on me? physically or emotionally? Why did I stay? where the fuck is my self respect? It must of been the sex. And you know what yea, thats a shitty reason to stay in a relationship and try and make it work. I just wanted sex. Just busting my nut because I could. One of the rare time id ever get compliments was on my style of how i performed in bed. And i play a lot of video games. Where is my work ethic? instead of bending over backwards trying to make someone else happy how come I wasnt putting myself first. No shit im depressed everyone is depressed. And to be honest. Thats one of the main things that attracts me to Ash. She is happy, Genuinely happy I can Tell by how she carries herself. This is the first time i can remember I genuinely remember sharing a coffee with a girl and actually be blown away by who they were as a person. Her eyes, te windows to her soul, told me so much about who she was. She has green eyes. I dont know if she has perfect teeth. But it radiated. I was struck. Idk why I asked her out, I dont know why she said yes. But im ffucking glad she did. That one date not only told me alot about her but alot about myself. I never should of gotten back together with my Ex. I was seeking comfort, I wanted some one to fucking baby me, Because IM A FUCKING BITCH. Am I worthy of Dating Ashley, a woman with so much wisdom and drive. No, I cant match that. I talk so much shit. but where is the fucking effort. You piece of shit. get real. Wanting a girlfriend only because you thinks shes pretty and can help you bust a nut. WHAT THE FUCK. You know better than that. Maybe if actually put the fucking time into yourself you would know that. Ive never this way about a girl tho. She isnt just someone i want to be. She is the person ive always wanted to be.

LIFE FUCKING SUCKS, GET THE FUCK OVER IT! STOP BEING A BITCH

If you want it then why are you not going after it? figure youre shit the fuck out! im fucking tired of babying myself, always looking for the easy way out. YOU WANT TO GIVE SO FUCKING BAD GO JUMP OFF A PARKING GARAGE YOU PUSSY. I need to take accountability for myself. What are my goals? What am I doing to achieve them? Am i really a sucker for love or just a lustful fool. If im afraid of being alone. Then I should embrace and become okay with it. Everyone will leave. Everyone is going to die. So I need to come to peace with myself. if not im on the sure fire path to destruction, a well deserved one. No more patting yourself on the back, Put a god damn battery in your back soldier and carry YOURSELF through this war. This crisis, this great depression, this war waged on ones self. The spiritual war. Im standing in my own way. Everyone wants to carry me, but I can walk on my own 2 feet. I can be strong.And if I ever want to be in a relationship with this girl. this is what NEEDS to happen. No body wants to date a pussy ass pick me ass bitch. I make fun of these people because deep down I know im just like them. But it doesnt hve to be that way. I can blame my heart breaks. I ca blame being molested as child, I could blame the racism, I can complain all I want about how I got the short end of the stick. But no one fucking cares. My past is my past, so why dwell on it when I have my entire future ahead of me. My hatred brings me shame. Im ashamed of myself. But if I dont decide to put the work in, and keep putting the work in. Nothing in life is the same. Ill die in my moms basement of ill die on the streets. Just find out who you are. AND BE THAT FUCKING MAN!

Be that Space Cowboy.

#canthurtme depression accountability

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nightscaped-archive · 6 years

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@unhr:

LIKE I ACTUALLY LOVE THE JAPANESE VERSION DONT GET ME WRONG BUT I ALSO LIKE THE ENGLISH VERSION BUT THE TRANSLATIONS THAT GO WRONG GETS TO ME LIKE NO IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THAT NRDJDJSJSJ like genesis just wants to be a hero ok ???? and sephiroth was made to be a perfect SOLDIER so he got it & it wasn't even his choice and there's two people who actively does things to the best of their abilities but it's always sephiroth who gets the title like it's p pitiful

that sephiroth got what he never wanted and the two never gotten what they've always wanted !!!! and ok ive always seen genesis as a brat maybe bc of his upbringing ?? but yea i see him as a brat who's there to constantly make a mess in FF vii crisis core bc he's trying to stay alive and he's lIKE ADDING UP TO THE THINGS THAT ZAX STRESSES ABT RJFJDJDJ but genesis isn't even nice to begin like yea he has his moments but he's not a Nice Nice idk where ppl get that image

THAT SCENE IN NIBELHEIM MAKES ME LAUGH BC HIS PETTINESS AND BRATTINESS FULL ON APPEARS?? He's like telling sephiroth how he's the perfect monster and then later on says that he needs his help like bitch do u rly think that sephiroth will help u like that??? so when sephiroth said 'u will rot' IM JUST YES BITCH U SHOULDA ASKED NICELY

legit there's so many loopholes in FF vii : cc fjrjjdjdnn but like yea u right abt shinra being the army and zax is actually ignorant abt all of these things bc he wants to be a hero so bad !! that he follows around every order like a dog so when genesis calls him a lap dog it's actually accurate ? zax throughout the game is forced into things he doesn't want to deal with in the first place but has to anyway. and the end results in his own misery and inevitably,

his own death ? so i hate to see fans shifting the blame to one antagonist to another like yea they have a part in but the main antagonist is actually shinra and how fucked they really are!! like look how much they drove zax to a wall like they fucking??? sent an army for two fucking fugitives. two!!!!! and tseng and cissnei are portrayed to be the good people bc they help out zax but there's always an ulterior motive there that either zax turns a blind eye to or

is just too ignorant to see. bc he wants to be a hero in his own way and achieving that thru any means made him somewhat blind?? to what's really happening around him . So it was late by the time he found out and he fucking died without being a fucking hero like i cried a lot a while ago bc of this --- he's such a light hearted boy and he's always stereotyped into it but can't u see how much pain he's not showing and he's carrying it all on his own???

thanks for coming into my Ted talk ! fnfdjdjDNDJSJSJ

YEAH SAME LIKE I DO REALLY LIKE THE ENG VERSION AND IT’S THE VERSION I PLAYED AND STUFF SO I DO HAVE AN ATTACHMENT TO IT BUT I ALSO MOSTLY BASE MY PORTRAYAL OFF OF THE JAPANESE VERSION?? it annoys me a lot that the eng version presented genesis as wanting to be better than sephiroth (the world needs a new hero) instead of a guy who just desperately wanted to be his honest peer (i too would like to become a hero in the japanese version iirc). LIKE GENESIS IS DEFINITELY SUPER MISGUIDED but i don’t like the fact that the translation really played down his obvious inferiority complex. they painted genesis as someone with a superiority complex instead which is........a really odd choice imo ASDFGHGF

BUT YEAH OMG LIKE GENESIS IS BASICALLY LIKE....he’s that kid who’s been smart and praised and shit all his life but doesn’t know how to cope when he’s in a larger environment and he’s not the best anymore ASDFGHGFDSA LIKE I GUESS THO ?? HE WASN’T VERY SOCIABLE GROWING UP AND HE KEPT TO HIMSELF AND WAS ALSO ADOPTED AND SHIT SO being this smart kid who idk got prizes for inventing apple juice was smth he clung to and, altho he already admired sephiroth beforehand, being faced w/the fact he wasn’t ever going to be as good and, by sole virtue of not being sephiroth, wasn’t ever going to be praised for his efforts in the own way. like i imagine SOLDIER first class all did a lot in the war but sephiroth was the one who got all the press for it. i don’t think that’d bother angeal bc he doesn’t seem to care about that sort of thing but genesis seems like?? he really wanted validation so that would have really been....Yikes ASDFGFDSDFA

that doesn’t excuse how he reacts in the end at all but i think that definitely plays a lot into it esp bc like??? again, shinra aren’t good people. they exploit SOLDIER immensely and it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if that environment would have fucked genesis up a little, esp since he was only a ??? teenager when he joined shinra. which IS ALSO INTERESTING BC ?? IT ACTUALLY PRESENTS A LOT OF PARALLELS WITH ZAX THAT PEOPLE DON’T REALLY GO INTO ASDFGHGFD MAYBE THAT WASN’T INTENTIONAL BUT i think it’s really interesting that they’re characters who start out with similar motives but end up going in totally different directions ?? ASDFGFDS I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHT AND ANALYSIS IN MIND ABT GENESIS I HONESTLY FORGOT HOW MUCH I’D OVERTHOUGHT HIS CHARACTER LMAO

i think tho like ?? the unwilling soldier getting screwed over is really a reoccurring theme in final fantasy and one I ACTUALLY FIND REALLY INTERESTING ??? hence me making kael bc i kinda wanted to do what crisis core essentially did with humanising SOLDIER but with the galbadian army instead just bc like...there’s a lot to explore there. i think the fact that FF always has this kind of take of like,,,the enemies you spend so much of the game killing aren’t necessarily even BAD people, they’re just people being exploited or indoctrinated by the real villains. even the Big Bads of most FF games were characters who were fucked over by whatever imperialistic entity happens to appear in that game at some point?? sephiroth is definitely a good example of that.

AND YEAH LIKE THE FACT THE GAME IS through zax’ eyes like that and all these characters who should be enemies are treated as friends just makes his death EVEN MORE tragic than it was in the original game? bc you get to experience zax learning to TRUST these people and put his faith in this system that is ultimately evil and corrupt, only for THEM to be the ones that kill him. it’s such a nasty betrayal. he goes through the whole game doing only what he thinks is right, right until his very last moment, and all he gets for it in the end is a firing squad shooting him down. IT’S SO SAD, HONESTLY ASDFGHGFD LIKE IT’S SAD ON ITS OWN JUST BC IT’S A DEATH SCENE BUT THE WIDER PICTURE IS WHAT MAKES IT ESPECIALLY TRAGIC ?? it’s that kind of...knowing he never really had a chance to begin with. shinra wanted zax to live and die for SOLDIER and, when he decides he wants to live his own life instead, they kill him anyway ):

AND YEAH I DON’T GET WHY PEOPLE WASH OVER ZAX’ STRUGGLES SO MUCH LIKE?? he’s gone through SO much over the course of the game. he’s experienced war, experienced people close to him dying, experienced everything he believed in turning out to be false ?? so on and so forth?? like everyone seems to accept that the events of nibelheim and the following experimentation shit traumatised cloud but people don’t seem to focus on the fact that zax went through that too. hojo experimented on him too. just because he came out conscious, unlike cloud, and was optimistic enough to keep going doesn’t mean it didn’t have a really nasty effect on him. we just don’t get to see any of that because he’s killed and the game ends before anybody gets a chance to dwell on it.

#✯┊ ❝ ˢᵗᵒᵖ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵃᶰᵈ ᶫᵒᵒᵏ ᵃᵗ ᵐᵉ ❞ (out.)#long post #I SHOULD BE DOING REPLIES BUT I'M SO INTO RANTING ABT CRISIS CORE ASDFGHJKJHGFGHJKJHGF

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djsamaha-blog · 7 years

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Why People-Pleasers Don’t Get the Love and Respect They Desire

“Niceness is the psychological armor of the people-pleaser.” ~Harriet B. Braiker

I used to think that being kind, gentle, and agreeable was guaranteed to win me love and acceptance from others. I’d tiptoe around destructive people’s behaviors, no matter how uncomfortable I felt about it, believing to my core that if only I could be nice enough to them, they would one day lead a better life.

I lived my life constantly avoiding anything that might make me look like a bad, imperfect, antagonistic, or unlikeable person. Because as every people-pleaser knows, being disliked or disapproved of feels worse than ignoring your own feelings—at least at first.

Some people were easy to please; a kind gesture or smile was all it would take. Getting their approval so effortlessly made me happier than a kid at Disney World. But with other people, it seemed the more I tried to please them, the more likely they were to treat me like an old dish rag; and the more this happened, the less I liked myself.

Eventually, my efforts to please others left me feeling disrespected, violated, and disconnected—from life, from other people, and from myself.

For many years, I silently endured the ongoing, relentless invalidation of who I was based on how others treated me. When someone close to me was feeling unsatisfied, negative, or in search of someone to blame, there I was, ready to take it.

But no matter how unhappy I was, I still wanted to make them feel better. I wanted to see them happy, even at my own expense.

At the core of these one-sided relationships I maintained with some of the perpetually dissatisfied people in my life was an enduring belief that if only I could solve their problems and make them happy, I’d finally receive the love and acceptance I desired all my life.

I never stopped to think, “But what about me? What will become of me if I keep trying to satisfy people with an unquenchable thirst?” I couldn’t see that no matter what I did, it would never be enough. In fact, it wasn’t about me at all. I didn’t realize that no matter how good I am at solving problems, or how perfectly I can handle things, if someone wants to find fault with me, they will.

Instead of seeing other people’s dissatisfaction as an issue for them to resolve on their own, I internalized it and interpreted it to mean I wasn’t good enough.

But one day, I finally started asking myself some important questions: “What will become of me and my self-worth if I keep basing it on unhappy people’s perceptions? Who will love and respect me if I’m not even taking a stand for myself?”

My conception of who I needed to be in order to gain love and acceptance was slapping me in the face over and over again like a flat tire driving on uneven pavement. But still, I wondered why my formula wasn’t working. I truly believed that living selflessly was a surefire way to get love, appreciation, respect, and lots of hugs in return.

It took me a while to realize that living this way was actually having the opposite effect. My constant selfless giving and kindness didn’t automatically earn me a pass on the eternal acceptance subway. It actually seemed to be an invitation for people to take advantage of my generosity, allowing them to feel less anxious about their own lives.

I set myself up to be other people’s emotional dumpster, personal life fixer, and convenient source of blame for their misfortunes.

What I came to learn the hard way is that pleasing others isn’t the way to win their love and respect. I finally realized that if I kept taking on other people’s anxiety as my own, they would never change. And why would they, after all? They got lots of relief from me stepping in and resolving things. But at what cost?

All this pleasing had left me feeling inadequate and stressed out as I watched the recipients of my pleasing play out the same problems and drama, over and over again.

Love At All Costs

One night I had a dream that I was standing in a field with nothing but the clothes on my back. I felt weak and tired, like I needed someone to come lift me up and ask me how I was doing.

Slowly, my family and friends started to join me in the field. But they weren’t there to rescue me; they were there to bring me their troubles.

One by one, they started pulling me in different directions. They wanted me to solve their lives for them, even though I was alone, tired, defeated, and left with nothing.

The dream was showing me the truth about how I was living. When my life and health started to collapse around me like a burning building, I had to take a hard look at my perspective and decisions. I started to question my beliefs about what it meant to be a truly good person, and what it took to receive the love and respect I so desired.

That dream helped me understand that my people-pleasing behaviors weren’t getting me what I desired; they were getting me the very experiences I spent my life trying to avoid.

Back then, it would have been easier for me to blame others for their ungratefulness and neediness; but deep down, I knew that blaming would have been another way to avoid taking a look at myself.

I was sick of exhausting myself trying to help and change other people, only to find that it didn’t work. I knew I had to change myself and, as cheesy as it may sound, give myself the love and respect I so desired. Because the truth is, no one can give you what you should be giving yourself from within—especially not those people who need the pleasing you so easily offer.

After much reflection, I came to see that my pleasing behaviors were a way for me to get the validation from others that I wasn’t giving myself. Of course my efforts backfired, because I alone was responsible for my happiness; other people’s happiness wasn’t my responsibility, and just because I was overly nice to someone didn’t mean they had to treat me the same way.

I was trying to please other people so I could feel worthy of love. In reality, my kindness wasn’t coming from a place of vulnerability, honesty, or acceptance; it was rooted in anxiety and fear.

In my attempts to make everyone else happy, I lost control of my own identity, and they lost their ability to solve their own problems. By changing myself to become who everyone wanted me to be, I made myself less desirable and implicitly invited people to take me for granted.

Pleasing Yourself

Do you find yourself people-pleasing and wonder how you can get the love and respect you desire? Well, the answer is pretty simple, but the actions it takes aren’t quite as simple. The first step involves changing your perceptions. Once that’s done, changing your behaviors will follow naturally. Here are some things to remember:

1. You aren’t treating yourself with love and respect when you regularly do things for others that they’re avoiding doing for themselves.

2. You aren’t treating yourself with love and respect when people violate your boundaries and you don’t speak up about it.

3. You aren’t treating yourself with love and respect when you say yes to something but really want to say no.

4. You aren’t treating yourself with love and respect when you internalize others’ dissatisfaction and take it on as your own problem.

5. You aren’t treating yourself with love and respect when you hurt yourself in order to make others happy.

Over time, I came to understand that my efforts to make other people happy were like deposits made in a piggy bank with a giant hole at the bottom.

If you’re stuck in a people-pleasing cycle, chances are you’re subconsciously attaching to people who need you to soothe their discomfort, because they can’t do it for themselves. Since they don’t know how to manage their own emotions, they’ll continue to reach out to you whenever they’re in crisis—and, on the occasions when your pleasing behaviors aren’t sufficient for them, they’ll blame you for their discomfort.

If you want to make changes in your life, it’s time for you to see this pattern clearly and stop basing your sense of worthiness on other people’s approval of you.

Change your perceptions, beliefs, and behaviors. Make contributions to a bank that pays interest. Receive the love and respect you so desire by celebrating your freedom from the longing to be accepted by others.

—

Editor's note: Ilene has generously offered to give away two free copies of her latest book, When It's Never About You: The People-Pleaser's Guide to Reclaiming Your Health, Happiness and Personal Freedom. If you put other people’s wants and needs ahead of your own and end up feeling ignored, disrespected, and disconnected, this book is for you. To enter to win one of two free copies, leave a comment below. You don't have to write anything specific—”Count me in” is sufficient! You can enter until midnight PST on Sunday, November 5th.

About Ilene S. Cohen

Ilene S. Cohen, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, blogger, and professor. She’s a regular contributor to Psychology Today, with her most recent release of her self-help book entitled, When It’s Never About You. Her work is fueled by her passion for helping people achieve their goals, and lead fulfilling and meaningful lives. To learn more about Dr. Ilene visit www.doctorilene.com.

See a typo, an inaccuracy, or something offensive? Please contact us so we can fix it!

http://www.successwize.com/why-people-pleasers-dont-get-the-love-and-respect-they-desire/

#news #information #general #other

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sarahburness · 7 years

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Why People-Pleasers Don’t Get the Love and Respect They Desire

This post contains a giveaway. If you're reading this in your inbox, click here to participate on the site.

“Niceness is the psychological armor of the people-pleaser.” ~Harriet B. Braiker

Eventually, my efforts to please others left me feeling disrespected, violated, and disconnected—from life, from other people, and from myself.

But no matter how unhappy I was, I still wanted to make them feel better. I wanted to see them happy, even at my own expense.

I never stopped to think, “But what about me? What will become of me if I keep trying to satisfy people with an unquenchable thirst?” I couldn’t see that no matter what I did, it would never be enough. In fact, it wasn’t about me it all. I didn’t realize that no matter how good I am at solving problems, or how perfectly I can handle things, if someone wants to find fault with me, they will.

Instead of seeing other people’s dissatisfaction as an issue for them to resolve on their own, I internalized it and interpreted it to mean I wasn’t good enough.

But one day, I finally started asking myself some important questions: “What will become of me and my self-worth if I keep basing it on unhappy people’s perceptions?” Who will love and respect me if I’m not even taking a stand for myself?”

I set myself up to be other people’s emotional dumpster, personal life fixer, and convenient source of blame for their misfortunes.

All this pleasing had left me feeling inadequate and stressed out as I watched the recipients of my pleasing play out the same problems and drama, over and over again.

Love At All Costs

One night I had a dream that I was standing in a field with nothing but the clothes on my back. I felt weak and tired, like I needed someone to come lift me up and ask me how I was doing.

Slowly, my family and friends started to join me in the field. But they weren’t there to rescue me; they were there to bring me their troubles.

One by one, they started pulling me in different directions. They wanted me to solve their lives for them, even though I was alone, tired, defeated, and left with nothing.

That dream helped me understand that my people-pleasing behaviors weren’t getting me what I desired; they were getting me the very experiences I spent my life trying to avoid.

Back then, it would have been easier for me to blame others for their ungratefulness and neediness; but deep down, I knew that blaming would have been another way to avoid taking a look at myself.

I was trying to please other people so I could feel worthy of love. In reality, my kindness wasn’t coming from a place of vulnerability, honesty, or acceptance; it was rooted in anxiety and fear.

Pleasing Yourself

1. You aren’t treating yourself with love and respect when you regularly do things for others that they’re avoiding doing for themselves.

2. You aren’t treating yourself with love and respect when people violate your boundaries and you don’t speak up about it.

3. You aren’t treating yourself with love and respect when you say yes to something but really want to say no.

4. You aren’t treating yourself with love and respect when you internalize others’ dissatisfaction and take it on as your own problem.

5. You aren’t treating yourself with love and respect when you hurt yourself in order to make others happy.

Over time, I came to understand that my efforts to make other people happy were like deposits made in a piggy bank with a giant hole at the bottom.

If you want to make changes in your life, it’s time for you to see this pattern clearly and stop basing your sense of worthiness on other people’s approval of you.

—

If you put other people’s wants and needs ahead of your own and end up feeling ignored, disrespected, and disconnected, this book is for you. Using real-world examples and activities to help you break your people-pleasing patterns, When It’s Never About You can help you get what you want and need—while earning even more respect from others. To enter to win one of two free copies, leave a comment below. You can enter until midnight PST on Sunday, November 5th.

About Ilene S. Cohen

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Get in the conversation! Click here to leave a comment on the site.

The post Why People-Pleasers Don’t Get the Love and Respect They Desire appeared first on Tiny Buddha.

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