#yes i do because if nothing else i will be posting about it . and i need to be organized incase theres anybody else out of their fucking

[kuvlarstuff]

Internet Drama and Real Life

Hello Tumblr, I never thought I'd have to make this sort of post before but lets get into it. First off: I'm very much neutral on the subject of the whole Proship or Anti-proship debacle. I'm not chronically online as most people are because I'm just not a big tumblr user. Second off: I've interacted with people who are on both sides of the debate. I'm friends with people who are on both sides of the debate. Does this change anything about me? No not really. Does this mean that I support proshippers? No. Does this mean that I support anti-proshippers? No. Does this mean that I just want to have fun with the people I interact with online and be friends with them? Yes. Somehow, within the last day or so, people within the whole UTMV fandom have gone from the simple mentality of "block and move on" to "doxxing and killing". Genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, what the fuck.

Reminder: This is petty internet drama. It's nothing to dox people over. If you truly believe that someone for having a different view point on the world needs to be violently hanged and killed, then you need to step back and look at the situation and what you're saying.

Doxxing someone, while not inherently illegal, is very immoral on various social media platforms. Multiple people on both sides of the debate, whether you're an "anti" or a "proship", don't want their personal information released online. Why would you do that? What's your end game there? By posting someone's private information with the intent to harass and make their life miserable, they can actually file a civil lawsuit against you. It's very, very easy to file a civil suit against someone else. There's also the various other legal ramifications such as violations of personal privacy, harassment, and if you're actually wanting to follow through on those threats of violence, cyberstalking. -----

Also before you come at me and say "oh, you're neutral, you support proshitters", that doesn't make you look like the good guy man. I'm neutral because I'm just a guy that wants to play minecraft and I want to talk with my friends. jesus christ. EDIT: While you're here, I recommend taking a look at this post:

Pro vs Anti-shipping opinions from someone who is Neutral…and will get canceled on both sides anyway

#kuvlarstuff

[superstarz9]

So y’all fw EVEN MORE Mr. Puzzles hcs?

Cause I got some :}

tbh I feel like Puzzles get’s too babied in the fandom. A lot of people forget that he’s kind of an asshole, and takes a long time to warm up to people. However, once he realizes how he feels and is willing to reach out more, things get a lot better.

It’d probably be really awkward more than anything else. He wouldn’t understand relationship stuff and you’d have to explain things to him, which would kill the tension for a bit. However, he makes a huge effort trying to be a good partner.

Puzzles wants a relationship (platonic or romantic) but doesn’t want to be fixed/helped. He likes the attention and having a permanent audience.

If anyone here knows Guilty Gear, you guys would probably be like A.B.A and Paracelsus, where the two of you would get into a relationship out of needing something from the other rather than for genuine interests (Him wanting someone to control and you wanting to fix him (or make him worse)) (Yes, this is a callout post for all of us, me included). It would take a while for the both of you to finally realize that your goals are what is harming the relationship from going further, and it takes a while to overcome that boundary. But once you guys do, it’s much easier to work together.

If your relationship is in the real world, he’d probably get annoyed with you more often than not during the beginning. Nothing that would make him lose it, but enough that he’d need to take a moment to readjust. Picture him dealing with Mario’s antics in the gameshow episode without going crazy, as well as him talking to Boopkins during the Price is Right Segment.

Bottom.

He’ll let you kiss his screen but the moment you aren’t looking he’s wiping that shit off. Not because he doesn’t like it, in fact he loves how much you wanna kiss him and give him attention, but it’s a ocd/texture thing; he can’t handle feeling dirty in any way.

When he blushes, it’s like screen-burn (when a static/unmoving image burns into the screen for long periods of time). If he’s blushed in the past 30 mins, you can still slightly see it up close.

His love languages is gift giving and acts of service. He also loves literally everything except gift because you’d be the greatest gift (plus he’s personally not a material-wealth kinda guy. Leave the gift-giving to him).

Doesn’t have a type/isn’t picky. Anyone who’s willing to give him attention, he’ll love.

He hasn’t genuinely laughed at something in years. He’s seen all the comedy shows and knows all the tropes so much that nothing gets to him anymore. You might make him chuckle or smirk but his goal is to make you smile and laugh. If you do laugh at his jokes, it warms his heart a lot. However, he can tell if a laugh is forced/fake, and will call you out on it if he’s not in a good mood.

Whether you like it or not, you pretty much can’t leave him alone once the two of you are official. If he needs some kind of comfort, he’s latching onto you. If you’re far away, he’ll either make the journey to see you or will call you every ten minutes

Hates modern phones and can’t text for shit. The gloves DO NOT help at all. He’ll just call you if he wants to talk to you, but the two of you are usually together so there’s no need.

Literally just unhindged Fluttercord.

A Two-for-one deal: a partner and a white noise machine lol.

Tastes like battery acid. I will not elaborate further.

His memories are like recordings that he can display on his screen, but he rarely does. If he falls asleep and dreams about memories of you, he might display them like that one scene of Pearl sleeping in Steven Universe.

Loves coordinating and matching outfits, but he’ll literally wear the same thing so he likes it when you coordinate with him, really.

Fr tho he is totally a bottom, but he’s overall more of a switch. If he has control over the situation, he’ll make sure everything goes flawlessly. However, if you make him go off-script and cause him to fumble, you can easily take over.

Now these ones are specifically horror movie/show based from a request last post!

He’s okay with slasher movies, but hates the amount of unnecessary stuff like the swearing and sex. All cheep tactics to the the audience interested.

Hates phycological horror. Respects it, but hates it. Partially because he’s in minor denial of what he puts his actors through (he knows and accepts that’s he’s brainwashing people and controlling them, but he often justifies if for his sake).

Likes watching some horror movies because a lot of actors started with horror and got bigger because of it.

Truthfully, he’s a little traumatized from horror movies after staying up late one night to watch night television and adult shows as a kid. When a horror movie started playing, he forced himself to watch the whole thing and had nightmares about it months after. He overall tries to avoid horror.

If you guys are in a relationship and you wanna watch a horror movie, he’ll be hesitant. As you set it up, he’d also try to switch the movie and distract you, which fails. “Well, I mean, if you insist. Oh- but how about this other movie! It’s excellent, and the bonus features are so interesting!”

If you call him out for it, he’d apologies and admit he’s not a fan of horror. You could totally tease him, saying that “there’s no such thing as monster” and that you’re there to protect him if something goes bump in the night, and he’ll get offended and would watch the movie JUST to prove that he isn’t afraid.

He’d be shaking by the 30 min mark, over-dramatically reacting to everything. This could be for 1 of 2 things:

1. He’s genuinely terrified and the suspense is killing him. He’s curled up on the couch with his manic smile waiting for SOMETHING to happen, but nothing’s happening yet, so why’s THE MUSIC GETTING LOUDER?!?!?! You could scare him with a poke or a loud noise, which would cause him to basically skyrocket to the ceiling in fear, or you could gently take his hand and cuddle with him, which he’d immediately grab onto you and squeeze you the entire movie.

2. The acting is horrible and nothing makes sense. If the fear isn’t good enough to captivate him, he’s sprawled out on the couch and complaining the whole time. It’s almost funny how passionate he is about it, if not for the fact that you just wanna watch a movie. You could shush him, but he’ll just go back to talking in the next 5 minutes.

As for the theatre, you kinda can’t take him regardless of what’s playing, mainly because of his screen. He can’t dim it, and he’s already a beacon of light in dim rooms, so the theatre is a no go. He doesn’t mind, as he obviously prefer television. However, if you’re willing to drive and watch them, he’s fine with drive-in theatres. They remind him of his childhood, and it give him a reason to cuddle with you.

Only major downside of a drive-in is all the bugs sticking to his screen in the night, which he’d freak out about. He’d drench himself with so much bug repellent that he’d stink of chemicals.

Here’s a bunch of relationship hcs! Tried to make them mostly interchangeable between romantic and platonic relationships. I’ll continue to cook up more headcanons but I may or may not be working on a fic of my own, inspired by all the amazing writing I’ve been reading from the fandom. Til then, I’ll continue posting here! Questions/comments/suggestions are greatly appreciated. Thanks and have a great day!

#headcanons #mr puzzles #mr puzzles headcanons #puzzlevision

[pookapufferfish]

yall, big post time about this blog

(it's nothing bad )

(images to make sure people see this)

so uhh, my eyebleeding colours and rain world banner and pfp may be gone soon so that I can fully hyperfixate on new stuff

I love rain world, never leaving the fandom (and still very much drawing all my fellas)

but I really have needed to experience other stuff. With rain world, I came here, got way more love and attention than I knew what to do with. met new friends, got new experiences, got new memories good and bad.

Honestly through the years my fixation on rain world felt more strained, it brings comfort yes but i also needed new stuff. and aus weren't helping, and roleplays never really work for me. and some friends became ex friends. and new trauma was made. and while I still love the scugs, and they are a part of me. I feel like this new fandom I am falling into has more love and fun experiences I can learn and grow with.

i need to stretch my skills and improve, i need growth and rest. I need to fall in love with something new. like I did with rain world.

These are my earliest rw art I have saved (25 july 2022? apparently, but i did change computers at a point and that might have changed the date) and my most recent full artwork (26 april 2024)

I have improved a lot, but now I feel stagnant, i feel like i need new challenges outside of school work.

i was stuck in a real time loop of draw or people stop seeing me, talk to all my friends about their problems or they will all leave me, hide how I feel because people might abuse my feelings. But I know none of that is true.

And as I have said before, this is a blog for all my dumb stuff and hyperfixations. I love people, and I love this community. and I hope my art still makes people happy

might even start doing more oc stuff. i leave college after this year and i might need a portfolio. I hope some of you stay but I understand if me changing might be a bit much and you unfollow.

But really I am still the same guy, you can still send me rain world asks, and talk about rw ocs, and I will still add rw to my queue, and I am not unfollowing any of my mutuals. Who knows maybe this is a phase and I will come right back to this

And I know I can make a side blog but really this feels like a thing for my main blog, if you want I could adapt a side blog to have all my rain world art and I can keep posting rain world more there. if people want that.

But i feel like my art as a whole will get better from this. and maybe I can be that fun art guy rather than just the poly ship rain world guy who has a lot of weird issues.

TLDR: My blog is changing. I still will do rain world stuff but my focus will be everywhere else. This is for my mental health and so I can improve my art. But i am still a big rain world fan and that won't stop any time soon

time for my isat era

#rambling ray #<- living up to this today

[lily-fics-11]

Good Luck, Babe! Part 2 (Ellie Williams, TLOU)

Good Luck, Babe! //Ellie Williams, TLOU//

Part 2 (Part 1 here)

(Inspired by Good Luck, Babe! by Chappell Roan)

@dynsdiary made a post about Ellie x closet!reader Good Luck, Babe! by Chappell Roan and I couldn’t go to sleep without writing it so this is not super well edited. Then @fictionalgap mentioned a happy ending to I had to write a part 2 lol

Word count: 2k

CW: Profanities, allusions to sex, internalized homophobia, drinking, minimal editing 

With tears blurring your vision you watch Ellie leave. Her hands are in her pockets and she is walking with her usual swagger, but almost stomping, and at a quick pace. She should have done this a long time ago, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. It’s heartbreaking to see Ellie disappear into the night, but even more so knowing how hurt she is. You force yourself to watch her go, as a punishment for all that you’ve done. It’s the least you can do to try and repent for your sins. 

The other bar patrons standing around don’t pay much attention after the yelling stops, but you still wish you could get the hell out of town and never return. For both your sake, and Ellie’s. Not that running away is what you really want. Ideally, Ellie would take you back, her arms out like an angel, which is what she would be if she ever forgives you. But Ellie has never been one to forgive or forget. You want to be Ellie’s girl, for everyone to see, but you are too late. 

In trying not to blow up your life you’ve set fire to the one thing that actually made it worth living. Yes, you still have your friends and family, but Ellie falls into both of those categories. She knows you better than anyone, because no one has ever made you feel as comfortable as she does. Ellie makes you laugh harder than anyone else, wipes away your tears, and gives you everything she has. Though you give her the same, you've always done so behind closed doors. Ellie doesn’t always know what to say, but that has never stopped her from trying. Even if she has to resort to using puns as a distraction from whatever you are feeling. 

That argument sobered you up quite a bit. You would shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling, but Ellie was right, it’s only a temporary solution. 

Going home immediately would be ideal. However, Ellie’s house is on your way and she is already angry enough. Having to see you would probably just piss her off more. That girl has been through more than enough. Even if she had time to cool off, the sight of you would only be a bitter reminder of everything that’s gone down. Leaving in 10 minutes will give her more than enough time to get home before you even start walking and prevent any unnecessary interaction. 

You felt nothing when you kissed guys. The kisses you’ve shared with girls had sparks. But kissing Ellie ignited the brightest, most colorful, fireworks. 

Ellie is the only person you have ever loved, but you’ve had quite a few crushes on girls over the years, and even a few flings, despite having convinced yourself you just really wanted to be their friend or were just messing around. They were all special in their own way, but would never compare to Ellie.

As you sit and wait you decide it’s time to make a confession. You owe it to yourself, and to Ellie. 

“I’m gay,” you whisper out loud. Then you whisper it a few more times before you can finally say “I’m gay” at a regular volume. You would yell it at yourself if it weren’t for the other people hanging around, you’ll have to do it when you get home. What’s the point of exposing yourself when the only reason to is gone?

Thinking about the future Ellie had described forces you to ask yourself what do you really want in life when it comes to love? You’ve been pushing who you are down so hard that you haven’t ever been able to think about it before. You would never allow yourself to even dream, because it made you feel sick to your stomach. 

Finally allowing the thoughts to flood in, there is much less to unpack than anticipated. There really is only one thought. Ellie Williams. 

You could’ve had everything, but you were too immature, too insecure, to take what was being offered to you. The only way you could forgive yourself would be if Ellie did so first, which she is not known to do. Not that you even have a right to her forgiveness, after everything you put her through. So however many years you live, is how long you will be hating yourself. 

Sure, there are other girls out there, but none of them even quite like Ellie. You may be young, but she is without a doubt the love of your life. Or she was, now she is nothing more than the loss of your life. Ellie will move on one day, and you will have to watch from afar, grateful that she has found the happiness she deserves, though it will kill you to watch that happiness come from someone else. 

Ellie Williams is just about the only thing in your head and you know she won’t ever leave. 

After ten minutes you walk home, feet shuffling, shoulders hunched, head hung low. When you turn onto Ellie’s street you cross to the other side, avoiding close proximity. Your heart rate increases exponentially the further you walk. You smell weed, Ellie must be out smoking on the front porch. You look straight ahead and veer into the darkness, out of the illumination cast by the street lights. Silence had been your goal, but in order to stay in the darkness you had to step through a bush… and it rustles. “Fuck” you whisper to yourself. Without a doubt, Ellie’s hypervigilance hears the sound. 

“Who is that? Why are you skulking around in the dark?” Ellie’s voice calls across the street. You can tell she is suspicious and ready to start a fight. 

“I-it’s me.” You step back into the light. “I figured you wouldn’t want to see me.” You panic and take off at a run. “Wait!” Ellie calls and you stop dead in your tracks. That was the last thing you expected. It would have made more sense if she had cursed you out. Slowly, you look over your shoulder to see her standing up, holding onto the railing and leaning over it ever so slightly. 

“I want to talk to you,” she grumbles, crossing her arms, just loud enough for you to hear. 

“I’m sorry, I should’ve just crossed through someone's backyard or something. I’ll do that from now on.”

Ellie shakes her head and takes a hit, then slowly exhales a cloud of smoke. “That’s not it.”

You turn around to face her. “I know where and when you hang around town. I promise I'll stay away.”

“Just come over here,” she say and motions with her hand. You can hear bitterness in her voice, but not the anger you expected. 

You walk over and stand in front of Ellie as she sits down on the steps. She continues smoking as her knee starts to bounce. “I’ve decided to give you the chance to talk. But only one chance.”

You gulp, feeling the weight of the immense pressure. 

“I know you won’t forgive me, and that I don’t even deserve it, but I still have to tell you how fucking sorry I am. I’ve made you, the unbreakable Ellie Williams, cry, and that’s not fair. You deserve someone who loves you for the world to see, without caring what they think. Even though I’m ready now, I know I'm too late. I'm a fucking fool. I wanted to stop the world just to stop the feeling, so I had to stop you, because you are my world. I should have called it love so that you didn’t have to call it off.”

Ellie’s eyes are wide as she bites her lip. She pats the spot next to her for you to sit down. You sit as far away from her as you can and avoid looking directly at her, only able to see her in your peripheral vision. 

Legs spread casually, and elbows resting on her knees, Ellie starts her explanation of her uncharacteristic behavior. “Normally I would cut off anyone who hurt me this badly. But on the walk home, I remembered that you aren’t just anyone.” Her audible disdain is all but gone, replaced by a sense of yearning. 

You can finally take your first deep breath since before the argument. “Thank you for taking the time to talk to me, I know this can’t be easy for you. I really appreciate it.” 

She just nods as she takes a drag. “You’ve been thinking too, haven’t you, about everything I've said.”

She has managed to make you laugh a little, the way only she can, something you thought you would never experience again. “You know me so well, don’t you. But yes, and you were right. I could kiss a hundred boys in bars, I could even kiss a thousand girls in bars…” you trail off. 

“Well kissing girls is kind of the whole point, guess. All though I was thinking about just one girl in particular…” Ellie sounds so disappointed.

You finally look over at her and meet her mesmerizing gaze. “I could kiss every girl on the planet, but not a single kiss would matter unless it was with you. When I wake up in the middle of the night, and think about you all those years ago, I want it to be because I’m watching you sleep in our bed in our house. I’d listen to you breathe, and smile at the way your nose twitches when you are dreaming. I’d be grateful that I’ve gotten to spend my life with you.”

Ellie’s breath hitches and she searches your eyes like a human lie detector. “Did you really mean it, when you called it… love?”

“Yes. I love you. I really really love you. I’m so in love with you that I was afraid of it. But I also love you enough to stop making excuses and coming up with stupid reasons.” You look out into the darkness and yell, not caring who hears, "I'm gay and I’m in love with Ellie Williams!”

“I love you too baby.” No tone is left in her voice aside from an air of wonder when Ellie laughs and puts her toned arm around you, pulling you against her warm body. 

“You’re like an angel,” you whisper, lost in her beautiful eyes. 

“If I’m from heaven I can’t imagine what you think hell looks like.”

“It’s full of men,” you sigh. 

“Fair enough,” Ellie chuckles.

“So are we.. something?” You murmur. 

Ellie places a gentle kiss on your forehead. “I don’t know how you haven’t gotten it through your pretty head, but I’m absolutely in love with you. All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be my girlfriend and show you off.”

You reach out and stroke her freckled cheek. “Then show me off. Let’s go back to the bar. Show every guy I kissed that I’m your girl. I want everyone in town to know that I’m the Ellie Williams' girlfriend. 

Ellie’s eyes light up and she bites back a smile. “If I’m the Ellie Williams than you are the most amazingly beautiful girl there ever was. It’s really the least you can do, let me emasculate every sorry bastard in town, they’ll be shitting themselves knowing the best girl we have is mine.”

You nod shyly. “Yeah. You deserve a girl that’s proud to be yours, and I am.”

Ellie kisses your temple before taking one last drag from her joint. The two of you walk together, her arm around your shoulders and yours around her waist. 

“I’ve always wanted to dance with you, can we dance together?” You ask shyly.

“Of course baby,” she tells you with a dreamy look in her eyes before giving you a quick kiss. 

The two of you are all giggles and smiles on the way back, though it doesn’t stop Ellie from teasing you and telling you owe her big time. 

As a happy couple, you two approach the bar and no one outside even takes a second glance at you, too occupied by their cigarettes and drunken conversations. You walk through the door, ahead of Ellie, holding her hand as you push through the crowd. Any man that would normally pay attention to you does, but the only person who you take notice of is your guy friend that you had promised a date to. Oops, you’ll have to deal with that at some point but now is a time to celebrate. 

You quickly look back at Ellie and smile after accidentally making eye contact with him. “I really want to punch that guy in the face.” She murmurs, glaring at him. Nonetheless, her rough exterior melts away when she looks back at you. Anyone who saw the way Ellie looks at you would think that you put every star in the night sky, just for her. 

Taking a spot in the middle of the dance floor, you put your arms around Ellie’s neck and she grabs you by the waist to pull you close. The music isn’t the right tempo, but you start slow dancing like you are the only ones in the room. You lean in to give her a real kiss. No cheek, or forehead, or peck on the lips. You want to show her just how much you love her. Ellie’s soft lips move in sync with yours and you aren’t even thinking about all of the people around you. When you finally pull away Ellie says “Baby, I can’t believe you’re really mine.”

“Well, I am. You’re stuck with me. Good luck, babe!”

#ellie williams tlou #ellie williams the last of us #ellie x reader #tlou ellie #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie tlou2 #ellie williams #ellie williams angst #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams x female reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams x you #ellie x fem! reader #ellie x fem!reader #ellie williams x y/n #ellie x you #the last of us ellie #tlou2 #the last of us 2 #ellie williams x reader #good luck babe #chappell roan

[wasyago]

the brainrot won

#GUY S i know i haven't posted anything in a while and thats because im working on a big cool project that i really want to finish without- #distractions. but uh. as you can see. ive been distracted 😔. still working on it tho!!!! and im very happy with it turns out its just- #super time and energy consuming so ive tried to limit my intake of other media to not make myself want to draw other stuff #i also haven't read the last two (two already?????) chapters of RnS and im very sad about it and i want to read it but you know that if i- #read it ill want to make fanart and then ill never finish my project :( #SO. sorrey for the lack of art itll be coming when im free to draw!!!!!!! #but also. yes ive watched new life because i dont want to go insane with nothing but this project on my mind and umm. had to take a little- #break to do a couple designs for fun... and to switch it up a bit because for real im going insane i think #ALSO. friend got me into zelda botw and i haven't played a whole lot yet (because project) but ive tried to take some inspiration for- #designs from there. at least for joel and scott. everyone else not so much... #WELL ANYWAYS this is getting long. i should really stop rambling in the tags and just make separate posts for all this but i dont want to #umm. tags. #new life smp #smallishbeans #mythical sausage #geminitay #pearlescentmoon #smajor1995 #inthelittlewood #my art #sketch

[the-holy-ghosted]

(mockingly) youre gay AND irish

#the heron giveth #ghosted (2011) #craig parkinson #john lynch #ive been watching a lot of john lynch movies lately this one has me in a chokehold. i cant explain it #this film doesnt fucking exist anywhere and it saddens me every day #theres also no version ive found online with subtitles so i had to add them myself please dont nitpick if theyre a little off center #ghosted my best friend ghosted the only film ever. ghosted. #anyways. this part was funny i wanted to highlight it. mean to him #do i even bother. with the character tags. #jack ghosted #clay ghosted #yes i do because if nothing else i will be posting about it . and i need to be organized incase theres anybody else out of their fucking #mind later down the line. looking for poasts #come into my ask box and give me a penny for my thoughts on ghosted this is not a mistake whatsoever

[smileandasong]

can't stop thinking about the exchange i had the other day where my coworker indirectly accused me of being a bad feminist because i dont like t*ylor sw*ft and "women need to support women" like.........like.........LIKE..........

#for context yes she is cishet which im sure will shock none of you #nothing but love to all of my normal sw*ftie homies yall are great #but this is precisely the energy why i absolutely cannot #and because yknow i just dont care for her music??? guess that makes me a massive misogynist #you heard it here first folks i actually hate women #anyway hi long time no text post fdsxfdssa i just need to scream about this #and tumblr is the only platform i feel safe doing that #anywhere else i go bitches will be like 'yes that is misogynstic of you :/' u queer she/they #smile.txt

[prosebushpatch]

Alright, so, yesterday, I recorded every single POV in each chapter in The Lunar Chronicles like a normal person and that's what this blog post is about. So if you want to want the overview of me going pepe silvia over the fact that one of the love interests has less POV chapters than two side characters, boy have I got a post for you!

#rose and rambles #the lunar chronicles #marissa meyer #my dudes im losing my mind over the lunar chronicles #in the best way possible of course #its just #okay #so it's always been a huge source of inspiration for me but ive only just recently gone back to reread them #and i don't know im analyzing things no one else will probably care about BUT LISTEN #THIS SERIES IS INCREDIBLE #i think the actual blog post comes off less unhinged than i feel about it but boy oh boy #know my mind is nothing but pepe silvia #might do East next because the povs there also captivate me #East and then West? hmmmm yes #anyway happy turkey day! #hope you're all eating well and having a lovely time with family and friends

[maddy-ferguson]

i don't know how people whose blogs are still fully byler do it there's only so many times you can read the exact same post before you start going crazy

#even the greatest posts #like love you guys #it isn't even that i've lost interest it's just that yk. there's nothing new happening and there's only so many times you (me) can read the #exact same post before going crazy. stir-crazy. if that makes sense #i had to follow random non-st people in like november/december or else i would've had to detumblrize which i didn't want to do #like i actually admire people whose blogs are still fully about st and i mean i'm literally still here even though it's not what i reblog #the most 75% of my dash is still st/bylers #but i had to like. start reblogging other stuff #because this isn't a new tumblr account right but since i hadn't been active in...a while this summer i unfollowed a bunch of people #who hadn't posted in years and so i only had bylers and like 5 other people left. hence the need to follow other people #i think it has to do with the fact that analysis is so prevalent like. i've read maybe one analysis post in the past month i can't #and not just analysis but people like being like 'omg guys i think this means this' and after a while it's like. yes. we know this #and i'm not saying people should stop lol it's just...well i had to start looking at gifs of shows i don't know between the this means #this posts #and like i say: brf slt

[running-in-the-dark]

I've just realised something fun (very weird): so I've got aphantasia (no visual imagination), and I have a hard time recognising and remembering faces. I'm not face blind but I need a lot of context clues and stuff like that to be able to recognise someone for sure.

so anyway, that means I don't know what most people look like. in many cases I can't even remember if someone wears glasses, or other very obvious things like that. I could only describe the faces of my family members, friends, or even my husband (who I see more often than anyone else) very vaguely.

buuut. when I like a character, I tend to draw and/or paint them (usually a lot). which obviously involves looking at pictures of their face for a looong time. and not just looking, but analysing everything to figure out where it goes in relation to everything else. and just the motion of drawing makes it easier for it to actually get saved in my memory, I think.

sooo I just realised that, right now at least, I could probably describe every stupid little line in Eliot's face, I can recognise him if I see a picture of like, his ear or whatever. but if my brother got a haircut and different clothes and I wasn't expecting to see him, I probably wouldn't know who he was. 😬

#I mean to be fair... it fades pretty fast too. since there is no image of it in my head. I think the drawing aspect is really important. #otherwise it's just a list of features and that means nothing to me #anyway. but at the same time I do also have trouble recognising if someone is him if he looks different (like if he has a beard in a picture #that's always difficult lol) #but yeah idk that just felt really weird to think about haha #like I've been painting his mouth (it's just very pretty 😭) and it's like. yeah sure that all makes sense I know exactly what goes #where and it's. idk weirdly familiar in a way I don't really ever experience with people in real life (because it would be very odd if I #just stared at photos of my family for hours to somehow get them into my head lol) #oh and it's always very distressing when my husband shaves his beard completely because I straight up will not recognise him and it's very #confusing (like obviously I know it's him and everything else is the same but that's not his face?!) #ah yes this is my daily post of random thoughts I have while falling asleep #personal

[northwest-by-a-train]

The amazing thing is not that the stomach churns, it's that it doesn't churn more often

#I've seen people say ''hamas is not murdering civilians it's expelling settlers'' #i've seen people be rabidly anti-Semitic about people fleeing in airports #newsflash: there's not exactly a robust train system or safe roads #i've seen people— neighbors. neighbors. say that animal control is the best solution for this #i've seen people posting maps of reservoirs in Gaza and @-ing the Israeli government in it #i've seen pictures #i've seen people calling for retaliation on Iran and listing off targets #i've unfollowed countless people I thought I had things in common with because nothing anyone can do is criminal #forget evil for a second; evil's not a historical category #this is; as another put it; a series of massacres #and yes most if not all anticolonial movements went through massacres #and I do believe people who switch sides or withdraw any sympathy and wash their hands of it the moment a massacre are committed #i believe that those people are deeply unserious; no matter how sympathetic i am to them #and I also personally don't believe Hamas is doing this half-cocked/for the fun of it/with no blueprint for the political aftermath #i do think this is not random; senseless violence. it was carefully planned violence. a very organized massacre #and of course the stomach churns to that; as it did to what came before and what came after #i just wonder whether anything else is possible. if there is a path to peace where our stomachs will not churn. one not forged in massacre #it wasn't possible for French Algeria. it wasn't possible for India. it wasn't possible for Haiti. it has happened elsewhere #but can anything else happen here ? within these borders ? with these people ? with all the blood ? #so as I have always done and will likely always do I support any Palestinian challenge to the occupation #but the stomach churns at it. don't believe it doesn't

[akkivee]

i like how in death respect, jakurai called samatoki a ‘single cell organism,’ which ichiro later uses himself to insult/not insult samatoki and in war war war, jiro calls samatoki ‘ahotoki’ which ichiro calls samatoki much further down the line lmao

#this is vee speaking #he do be vibing with those insults to samatoki in song form LOL #i’m CERTAIN sasara has called samatoki ‘ahotoki’ in ichi’s face lol this is me wishing i could make this another ‘adults ichi admires’ post #but ichiro admires individuality which jiro has plenty of when not trying to emulate ichiro so ye 👍 #i miss crying over ichiro lol so like on that vein of individualism it hurts me sooooo much that he knows he doesn’t have that sense himself #and you know that’s because he’s crafted himself to be whatever his bros need and nothing else 😭😭😭 #the way he was about to panic at the the thought of his brothers leaving the coop eventually #just means he really doesn’t know what to do/who he is without the grind and i HATE it he grew up too fast and not in anyway for himself 😭😭😭 #i really hope he goes his rhyme anima route and takes up travelling or something 😭😭😭 #(and not to make this ichikuu lol but sheltered temple boy kuukou who’s living wild and free to experience as much as possible #(should travel with ichiro lol ichiro can find himself and kuukou can grow as a person pls—)

[yoursonlucifer]

goD what i wouldn't give for a crustaceans & crushes adventuring party

#because they would have to talk about figayda!!!!!!! #there would be nothing else to talk about!!! #yes other things do happen in that episode but like. what else REALLY happens other than that #this is just something that i need #another reason to do fantasy high junior year!!!!!! #AAAAHHHG #fantasy high #tag for when i write posts

[gatun-gatunesco]

...

#and so i came back here. because in here i can find joy and sorrow. laugh a little and cry a lot because someone made a post i resonate with #it makes me feels understood. a private and intimate place that is also shared at the same time. and strangely; like a home #but i came back without knowing who i am. I see someone else in the mirror. Is that a monster? a sinner? a human? a normal man? #after all that effort leaving depression and self hate from my adolescence behind. from being proud of myself for being different to all me #was all a lie? how could i do such awful and terrible thing to the person i swore to protect? the person i love the most #i said i would never do that kind of unforgivable act. And here i am. Alive after the event. I want to drop dead. To dissapear from here. #But at the same time i want to fix what i did. in order to do that i need to heal. to change. be happy. to live. and i hate it #how can i do all of that with the weight of guilt crushing me and telling me i killed myself that day? i am just a shell of who i was #how to change what i thought was the best version of me? i was supposed to be different no harmful and kind man!!! #i already asked for help. and they told me it was not all my fault. But i still think it is. There is no way it can be 50/50 #physical actions are only responsibility of the ones who made it. circumstances are not a reason to diminish them guilt #a confused person is not deserving of any part of the guilt. they do not have control over themselves. but the other ones sure have it #yes. they might have started and added little physical actions. but i refused and it never came to completion. which is the opposite of min #physical trauma can spawn emotional and mental trauma as well. is way more bad and deep that the emotional one i might have #i want to kill that trash in front of the mirror. why are you still living bitch? just to be a parasite and hurt people on the go? #to make irreversible mistakes that affects every person around you? your decisions never end well. why do not you just give up already? #and yet here i am. trying to not isolate myself thanks to the safe place i found here. I can write what is on my mind. gives me some relief #because the only person i talked everyday is the same one i hurted as i never thought i would in my life #Hope i can found redemption one day. I hope they can heal and be happy soon and forever. #I am going to always be worry about them (i am sure of that) but i wish nothing but the best for them. I want nothing to hurt them again. #They never deserved the trauma and guilt. They suffered more than enough way before i step in and fucked up everything. #Life. if you can hear me. Please give them recovery. happyness. health and lots of love. They deserve it. Please #They did nothing wrong! Take them pain away and put it in me. I will stay alive just for that if is neccesary #I wanted to kill myself way long ago. but i still here. I might want to kill myself again. but i still will be here. #Just leave them be happy. That is what i really want

[katnissgirlsmakedo]

like sorry to be as the kids say drinking the haterade but i wish everyone but me and like three designated Allowed People would shut up about my shows. or. one show which you should know to which i’m referring. like i genuinely don’t like anything anyone else has to say about it and if i’ve ever seemed like i have i was pretending or desperate for content or being sarcastic.

#the way i do it is fine because i did it for kit. the way everyone else does it is bad because you just did it. for nothing #yes it worked out for ME. it’s not working for anyone else it doesn’t become you to talk about this show. tbh. #like. i don’t know how to explain to you people that i don’t have a bbc merlin fandom url. like i’m. that’s. ugh. idek. #i just want everyone to shut up actually is what this whole post boils down to. yea i’m in a bad mood i want to kill someone #but that doesn’t mean i’m not right when i say everyone needs to shut up about my shows unless it’s riverdale. #look i’m not going to come into your areas and watch supernatural wrong. so why does everyone want to watch MY shows wrong. #beth.txt

[spamtoon]

(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)

Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...

Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!

(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)

I know what you are.

Farewell, now!

(She then leaves the way she came from.)

(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)

And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...

(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)

You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?

I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.

(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)

Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way

(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)

Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.

WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.

Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever

#bright spark #<- for finding this again later. haha i called her sparky #the way she talks fucking tickles my brain so much im so . ohguohguohoghog SHE #SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG you see i was in the mindset that i would do this one little thing and then i would do my work which uh. #that leads to so so SO much procrastination. including on fun things! oh so fun things. #today was an event. #i also spent quite a bit of time ruminating i “would she really say that” is worse when shes literally you #to clarify. she is spam's aunt by like. building standards. not really in her found family. so its fucked up but as i said in discord this #is like. a “your mom's kinda hot” level crush. you know. also sorry i really wanted to say filament fever its been eating at me okay #nothing SERIOUS the way my f/os (and spam's f/os (plural now?? i guess?? if today was a canon event)) are #honestly mark still feels like the only real one with her to me but damn it. if spam's reflecting My Changes then she's Reflecting My Chang #spam in toontown unlike my other sonas is the most “its just you again” out of all of them and thats partially because her main #cog connection... is frostbite. they bounce off each other like we literally bounce off each other and damn it shes been so stagnant on her #own because of it. mark happened and she mirrored that because i kept fucking talking about him while we were in character and ideally #i should TRY to fix her. but also man because i'm not doing Serious lore stuff with her i dont. even know if i want to. #i kinda brushed it over the rug by saying that she relies on her constant entertainment so readily because she herself still doesnt feel #like she has a place outside of cogs only. sure she's in high roller backstage sure she's in allan's family now but shes not Doing anything #with herself the way that her friends are. mole's a ranger. frostbite cohosts. wishes... has chip. and something she doesn't have-- #living and fully growing as a toon. rather than being haphazardly slapped into a world. and in some respects she's envious of frostbite #finding themselves so quickly because she distracts herself because she's still kinda struggling with it. despite everything. yes she lives #happy and carefree a lot of the time but she keeps buying those dumb phones because when she's truly alone... her mind starts to wander. #that's what mark is for. so that spam can dream of a world where she has a purpose. even if its fake and fragile and just nothing compared #to the great friends that she already has. where she feels like its worth it doing something when she doesn't have anyone. and in that #respect. with the goons ma allan parallels in sonboy the spam cathal parallels shine. seeking tv (and to a lesser extent games) as a #method of escapism. even when one's life is already pretty good. because there's nothing else worth doing without friends or family. #the internet isn't just cool. it gives her something to be when it seems like everyone is something but her. and maybe thats a lazy #excuse for why it seems like she doesnt HAVE anything to call her own but that but damn it i'm trying my best to twist it around. #spam has such a HISTORY yknow? even if it feels like i havent established her much. #spam is the hearts to frostbite's spades not just because they're the duo of all time but because spam's fake stupid love keeps her going #sorry i just started rambling in the tags of this post about spam it. happens. she loves her friends so much i need to reiterate that okay