#y'all are genuinely so fucking annoying

[magentagalaxies]

.

#i should've just gatekept scott thompson from my college bc the way my college is treating me right now is bullshit #like i don't even want to do the scott event anymore bc of how they're treating me but i kind of have to #and i know i should be grateful they're even letting me be one of the interviewers but i hate being a student so much #i hate how nobody respects my opinion or input or experience even tho i'm literally the reason scott's even doing this event #(and ESPECIALLY the reason he's willing to do it for free!!) #and it especially stings bc scott has never made me feel like my insights were worth less because i'm a student #like he's always been one of the few people who consistently treat me like we're equals even tho he doesn't have to #and the way my college is treating me. it's like they don't trust me to not be an annoying little kid #like they're just assuming scott doesn't respect me so they don't have to respect me either #i mean on the plus side i'm supposed to have another phone call with scott either today or tomorrow so i can probably explain the situation #like i don't want to make him feel negatively about my college i want him to have a good time #but this treatment is genuinely fucking with my self confidence #and also maybe i can harness scott's power to hear ''don't talk about this thing'' and immediately make the interview all about this thing #(except in this case it would be him treating me like an equal instead of a random student) #and there's a bunch of bullshit currently going on with the class i have right after the event #so even tho originally i was like ''awesome i have the perfect schedule to bring scott to all of my classes!!'' #i might just ask scott if he wants to skip class together and hang out. like i never promised that class anything #the only thing i *have* to do is the interview. the class we'd be skipping is already being like #''oh are you sure scott wants to visit the class i don't want to take him away from a better use of his time'' #and scott was genuinely excited to see what my classes were like!! even if y'all didn't treat him like a big celebrity!! #but y'know what i'm sure scott does have a better use of his time. and i do too. #i'm gonna do the interview event bc i have to (we're in too deep at this point) #and i might ask scott if he wants to talk to that freshman film class about the buddy cole doc #bc 1. they offered to pay scott for that (they can't legally pay me but that's why i made the joke about money laundering) #2. since it's about the doc it's the one class where i get to be treated like an actual person #but other than that. damn it i was excited to share this part of my life with scott but fuck that this part of my life sucks #i'm gonna have a good time with scott in boston and my college is only going to be as much a part of is as they have to be #because we ARE friends (scott said so!) and i AM a brilliant filmmaker (bruce said so!) and i DO have potential (bellini said so!) #even tho it is hard to internalize those things after how much yesterday fucked me up. but that's ok scott will call again soon

[thisonequack]

Genuinely if you can't handle William Afton at his worst, maybe you shouldn't be woobifying him at his not even decent state. This man is a mad scientist, he has been a mad scientist for years. This is a sci-fi horror as much as it is a ghost story now. You're gonna look at this man and say he is only *now* becoming a mad scientist.

The guy's whole schtick in the books is literally killing kids, to get remanent, then becoming immortal with remanent. How are you mad at the child murderer for killing kids? You're gonna look at FNAF Sister Location, FNAF Help Wanted, FNAF Security Breach, FNAF RUIN, and tell me that FNAF is only NOW turning into a Sci-Horror??? Speaking about Sister Location, I have seen at least one or two people try to say, "The experiments take place in a bunker, it's so outlandish that it can't be cannon." SISTER LOCATION IS A BUNKER. SISTER LOCATION IS DESCRIBED IN SO MUCH DETAIL IN THE STORY TOO. THE STORY TAKES PLACE IN THE SISTER LOCATION THAT IS WHERE THE EXPERIMENTS TAKE PLACE. Oh my god I wanna tear this lore apart with my bear hands and eat it. There's also this shit FROM THE GAME BY THE WAY. INSIDE OF THE SECRET ROOM.

Something that has been left unsolved for years and ignored because it's such a dumb little detail left alone is now solved.

#I am a Dittophobia defender #dittophobia #fnaf #william afton #fnaf dittophobia #quack is quacking again #genuinely so annoyed by a lot of the people who are angry at this story #Y'all act like it's the end of the world #Meanwhile this lore is so good and fun for my FNAF fan brain that I have been having the most fun in years when it comes to this franchise #Anyways fuck the fans who woobify William and are mad that he's somehow “more evil” as if he isn't known for killing kids.

[fuckyeah-bears]

literally exerting sooo much self control and impulse control not to snap back at idiots replying stupid shit on my posts. people are annoying as fuck sometimes. like if you have 'commentary' about how i interact with shit and answer asks, you can literally fuck off. i spend absurd amounts of time trying to be nice and provide specific bears and nice replies to people at their request. and then the one time i get slightly irritated people freak the fuck out and start lecturing me about being 'unprofessional' and 'rude' and 'obnoxious' like im sorry but fuck all the way off. this is fucking tumblr. nothing about tumblr is professional. i don't have to provide y'all with bears. i don't have to make a pinned post to explain myself. newsflash, i already have a pinned post that i'm rather fond of. i don't have to act or respond to things any kind of way. i choose to respond kindly with nice encouraging messages and provide bears, and spend ridiculous amounts of time looking up specific requested bears for people. i choose to do that because i want to make people happy and spread some positivity. i choose to do that because this world is shit as fuck sometimes and i want to create a little space free from drama and negativity where people can enjoy bears and get a little reprieve from this shit ass world and the bullshit of life. i choose to do all that because i want to. but heaven forbid i'm not in the mood 100% of the time to always be perfectly nice and happy and go-lucky. and then i get shits giving me crap over it like i'm somehow obligated to do all this shit for free and always respond exactly the way they desire me to. and it is pissing me the fuck off. because i genuinely put so much effort into bearotonin and trying to make other peoples' lives better in this one tiny small way. i have a life y'all. i have a job and school and an actual adult life with responsibilities. but i choose to do this because i love bears and i think bearotonin is hilarious and making people happy is something that makes me happy. but i don't owe anyone anything, and if you have complaints about the way i comport myself or respond to messages or posts i make, well you can fuck off. i don't want to hear it. you don't need to reblog my posts and tag them with little messages about how you disagree, or write replies/comments saying i should act better or should be expecting this, or send me stupid asks. you can literally keep your negative thoughts to yourself. because people need to fucking realize that your tags are not private. if you put them on a post, the op is going to see them. and in this case, the op is going to be super pissed off by them.

to be clear, 99% of people are awesome and super nice and i love y'all dearly (and this post is absolutely not about you in any way), but the other 1% are really getting on my fucking nerves right now and it is taking a lot of effort to not engage with them directly and tell them to fuck off to their faces

#so yeah i'm vague posting instead #whatever #sorry not sorry for the rant #but this bullshit lately is so insanely annoying #and i'm allowed to be annoyed over it #because i have crap going on in my real life #and i come on tumblr FOR FUN #so it should be fun #not full of pointless dumb drama #i don't care if you're angry or confused about why i say things. just keep it to yourself #i genuinely do not want to see it right now #maybe in like 2 weeks or whatever when i've calmed the fuck down i will engage but right now i'm pissed enough that #unless it's something entirely neutral or positive #i genuinely do not want to hear it #no constructive criticism or helpful suggestion shit #i'm not interested #these are my fucking blogs and if you don't like the way i run them then you can literally unfollow #simple as that #okay i'm done ranting now #sorry to all of y'all who are lovely and kind #you know this post is absolutely not about you at all #not bears #just a rant #bearotonin rants

[miharuhebinata]

does anybody else remember when some people on here acted like it was problematic to ship revali and link

#supposedly because 'revali is clearly an adult >:(' ....even though it's never said & we genuinely have no idea how old he is #(we also don't know for sure how old link is either but we can at least assume he's around zelda's age) #ngl i feel like the people saying that were just annoying sidlink shippers LMAO i have no proof of this though #and the thing is i don't even really ship them that much! but like the discourse #(if you could even call it that. i really think it was just a few annoying people lol) was just so ridiculous to me #idk how the fuck y'all were getting ~serious mature adult~ vibes off of revali of all characters lmao #(unlike say urbosa. who some people shipped with zelda 🤢) #like idk obviously this is such a non-issue especially these days but that whole thing was always just so eyeroll-worthy to me lol #botw posting #send tweet

[rustchild]

.

#the back and forth about voting on this website drives me insane because like. voting takes me 15 minutes. #so personally i will vote because it is one 15 minute task that may have a miniscule impact #and not spending those 15 minutes will have no impact #so #obviously for many people there are more impediments and those situations are more complicated! #but it feels like you have everyone yelling at each other as though the only options were #count on the democrats to fix everything and put all of your energy into the electoral system #or abandon any interaction with the system as a symbolic fuck you to the establishment (has no impact either) #like... y'all it's one day #idk it feels like the radical far left position on voting is still fundamentally a symbolic backlash to the annoying lib shit #that's more about positioning the individual identity in relation to liberals/electoral politics #than it is the actual material impact or lack thereof #if you can't get off work or the nearest polling place is very far away and you would rather prioritize other forms of action that's cool #if you want to take a brief period of time to help bring people to the voting booth that's cool too #or if you look at the world and genuinely can't stomach voting for joe biden? yeah that's real! #whatever #just make sure you're doing other shit for the rest of the year

[derangedthots]

jace's pov in fire made flesh/courting the flame is a meticulously-crafted character study lovingly encased in a slowburn jacemond wrapping & eventually i hope to write aemond's fic the same bc i have!! so much to say abt these boys!! their history, the legacies they're carrying!! the expectations, the pressures of duty and sacrifice, the guilt, the intergenerational trauma!! there's so much to work through!!

my brain has little people screaming and hitting the walls inside it like "how can we love when we are the products of our predecessors' hurts, as well as their strengths/flaws? how do we love when we are diametrically-opposed and heart-shatteringly loyal to our families? are we to be star-crossed lovers - incapable of escaping an inevitable tragedy, your blood inking my hands? or do we allow our love to save each other?"

i want to get to the 'being together' part already but also i literally can't condense this journey for them without being disingenuous

#trust me when y'all get annoyed at the pacing pls know that i also just want to skip to them being soft and loving #((and fucking lmaooo)) #sry i had to get the guilt but also anticipation off my chest #i care abt these kids so much and I can't be anymore succinct than i already have bc they come with so much baggage!! #and i have to parse through all of it to make them growing to love one another feel genuine and believable #it's the whole: i'm not writing a character i'm getting to know and exploring a real living breathing existence #but yeah ik it's probably really frustrating for a lot of ppl #jacemond #aemond x jacaerys #aemond x jace #hotd #jacaerys velaryon #aemond targaryen #jaemond #ao3 #fic #rarepair

[cinna-bunnie]

me: weird, I’m not able to reblog anymore? If I click reblog nothing pops up. I notice ublock origin’s counter keeps going up, what gives?

tumblr:

why the fuck is a wordpress pixel preventing me from reblogging you loser ass website. I’m not on wordpress, this breakage shouldn’t be happening.

Tbf, if I open a new tab or refresh the page I’m able to reblog again - but if I’m deep in the dash that’s obviously not the ideal move to make. I’m assuming this has something to do with the new UI Tumblr’s using because this hasn’t happened before.

Also, having refreshed the page and basically JUST making this post - can you fucking not??

Maybe it’s because I have the logger open so it’s not refreshing things but uhhh yeah this is dumb, whatever’s happening here.

On top of my heart kinda racing (bad) by just using the new UI because it feels like I’m on twitter again I’m just so annoyed with everything @staff​ is doing >.> STOP IT god dammit

#if your website breaks because I'm using ublock origin - I'm not using your website #thankfully the app is there and it Seems I can refresh the page desktop to reblog again but god.... #why r y'all so hellbent on making me hate it here lol. I keep trying to say I love the community then tumblr throws another curveball #like hey!! do you want a new shitty update you didn't ask for?? here 🤲 #the twitterfication of tumblr includes finding unique ways to make you at least little angry or annoyed every day >.> #uhhhh on top of twitter going to hell and twitter ppl joining tumblr. I Can Tell bc there's def a lot more discourse posts floating around #the past couple of weeks. It's too late for the rent lowering gunshots huh? #like the ecosystem here improved significantly when the reddit folk came over then twitter implemented a post view limit and #almost immediately twitter ppl came over and kinda offset the reddit ppl 😭 idk things r p chill over at cohost #i gotta work on building out my circles over there and finding more ppl because it's a genuinely fun place and as time goes on feels #more and more like tumblr than fucking tumblr itself does. I'm still here bc i'm invested in my mutuals and the artists I follow. #I wouldn't be surprised if at some point I just plug an API and stream posts from artists somewhere else so I don't #even have to be on here anymore.

[silenthillbunni]

Why would you wish your neighbors to fkn die just because they make noise?

gosh some ppl are way too sensitive and cant handle ppl saying anything at all huh

#bc im angry and they are RUINING MY DAY EVERY SINGLE DAY #bc they make noise that wouldnt be heard if they didnt live in next to empty apartments #bc im extremely nosie sensitive and get sensory overload very easily and noise makes me suicidal and homicidal #good for you that you dont care!!!! you are FORTUNATE for not being this heavily affected by noise. you're not better than me. ur lucky #grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr it makes me so annoyed that ppl like u just cant handle mentally ill ppl VENTING. #am i sending them death threats? no. am i beating them up? no. am i sending complaints to them? no. i am enduring my suffering #bc we live in a world where nobody cares abt ppl who arent normal. i am in genuine physical pain bc of this everyday #do u think this is fun for me???? do u think i want to be like this? no! i'd kille to be like u who can walk unaffected thru life!!!!!! #do u think i enjoy spending my days in agony just bc noise upsets me? i cant fkn focus on my school work!!!!!!! or anything else!!!!!!!!! #do u know that there is NOTHING i can do? i have to accept a life of daily torment bc im noise sensitive #if society allowed me i'd live in specific apartments designed for noise sensitive ppl. or in a cottage on the countryside #but society dont give a fuck abt ppl who diverge from being normal #also omfg just bc i vent and say i wish they died dont mean i actually genuinely want them to die #why are y'all so black and white?????? why is it so hard to understand that just bc u express smth in anger dont mean u ACTUALLY want it #tbh y'all are too much. and fkn unfair. ppl are actually allowed to vent in anger and let out steam and not suppress their emotions #i have never done anything to cause another person harm. i even have high blood pressure bc im so stressed out yet i never do anything #i have done NOTHING to harm my neighbors. the only thing i do is vent on my blog #do u really think theyre magically gonna die just bc i vent abt it??????? #bro fuck off you made me even angrier like if u cant handle ppl expressing ugly thoughts #u and i are not compatible bc *i* know that u need to express things u might not even mean #but u clearly dont and need everyone to be uwu peace and love and perfect so just leave me alone go awayyyyyyyyyyy

[cidnangarlond]

I need to add zenos and emet-selch lovers/apologists etc to the do not interact part on my carrd I will not tolerate them here

#i never want to hear about them again I do not want to see them. if 6.2 has some shit abt what we saw at the end lf 6.1 I'm eating nails #also their fans r so annoying genuinely like the die hard ones. why do y'all wanna fuck grandpa piss and grandson war crimes so bad 🤨

[the-acid-pear]

There's another universe out there where instead of continuing to be insane about T-Bag well past my hyperfixation i was so for Mahone. (Un)fortunately, this is not that universe.

#luly talks #its especially funny that they are my two babygirls tho bc they fucking HATE each other #T-Bag was such a piece of shit to alex just like he was to everyone else #y'all genuinely dont know how despicable and annoying this manlet was im literally being so brave when i fangirl about him 😭 #MAHONE WAS TERRIBLE TOO THO. like 1) a cop 2) a KILLER cop who didnt give a fuck about anything #dont you think i forgot about haywire only because of how hot he is when acting all neurotic 🫵😡 #two reasons why i obsess over teddy and not alex tho is prob 1) alex didn't come back and 2) alex actually got his redemption #unlike T-Bag who. im not gonna start again... #pb

[boringkate]

Here’s a Mega folder with a handful of junk for you trans girls to watch

https://mega.nz/folder/g14TWJaL#u5hER7DzOJbdJbAR0mhtBQ

///TGIRL FEATURE FILMS (alphabetical order)

Adam (2019) it's about a cis boy who's mistaken for a trans boy and rolls with it. Big cast of trans characters including a tgirl played by a tgirl who everyone wants to fuck. Directed by a trans dude. Highly legit. If you're still hung up on pre release speculation based on the novel then you're the most annoying person alive.

Assassination Nation (2018) The first half is Euphoria and the second half is The Purge. ONE OF THE BEST TGIRL MOVIES OF ALL TIME.

Bit (2019) Lesbian girl power vampire movie where the main character is a tgirl played by a tgirl. It's solid. I find it frustrating that they hint at her being trans without explicitly acknowledging it (and she's passing as fuck, so it's easy to not notice), but I know that's what some of y'all want.

Boy Meets Girl (2014) Cis dude for trans girl love story. Pretty normie, but also you see her fully naked (gock out) at the end.

Funeral Parade of Roses (1969) Extremely 60s. Cool as hell.

Lady Daddy (2010) South Korean romcom about a trans girl played by a cis girl who tries unconvincingly to back pass when she finds out she has a kid. Very cute.

Lingua Franca (2019) written directed and starring Isabel Sandoval. An undocumented trans woman immigrant in New York deals with a cis dude partner being a cis dude. Which is also the plot of The Garden Left Behind (2019).

Myra Breckinridge (1970) Raquel Welch is a trans woman and her goal is the destruction of the last vestigial traces of traditional manhood! It's Fight Club! It's Hackers! It's divisive, but it's probably my favorite movie!

So Pretty (2019) Literally the first scripted feature length (non pornographic tho it does have cock) film to feature two trans women played by trans women kissing eachother.

Something Must Break (2014) THE OTHER BEST TGIRL MOVIE OF ALL TIME. Drugs. Crimes. Gock. Slow motion pissing. Slow motion park Fucking. Genuinely the most beautiful sex scene I've seen in any movie. And she makes it to the end still alive and more sure of herself and at peace than ever.

Tangerine (2015) Groundbreaking and also a bunch of the secondary characters are real life pornstars (which I think is neat).

The Garden Left Behind (2019) This and Lingua Franca (2019) really are tgirl twin films, but (like with Antz and A Bug’s Life) the vibes and details make them distinct (I assume tho tbh I’ve never watched Antz).

///TGIRL DOCUMENTARIES

Bambi (2013) about a trans girl showgirl in 50s/60s paris

Paris is Burning (1990) basically it's Pose.

Shinjuku Boys (1995) Trans dudes working in a tokyo club that caters to tboy chasing cis girls. There's at least one trans girl in the mix too.

///FORCED FEMINIZATION

A Reflection of Fear (1972) They raised her as a girl and it made her do murders! It drags in places, but the girl in it is so ethereal and it has ageplay vibes and daddy issues.

Memory Run (1996) A very fun direct to video scifi action flick about fighting fascism by blowing up your pre transition self with a rocket launcher + it's based on a novel written by a trans woman.

She-Man A Story of Fixation (1967) Notable for being such a cliche sissy maid fantasy while also coming out so early + it was Bob Clark's first film lol.

Sleepaway Camp (1983) A more famous version of Reflection of Fear.

Surrender Dorothy (1998) A MUST WATCH. I personally bought a physical DVD and made an ISO of it for you because I was unsatisfied with the quality of the only copy that seemed to exist online. I ALSO PERSONALLY CREATED MY OWN SUBTITLES FOR IT BECAUSE EVEN THE DVD DIDN’T INCLUDE ANY! WHICH TOOK HOURS TO DO!

The Skin I Live In (2011) A rapist is kidnapped and turned into a girl by a mournful vengeful plastic surgeon. Which was also the plot of Victim (2010). I never really vibe with Pedro Almodóvar movies, but I recognize this is the preeminent forced feminization film.

///SHORT FILMS

Gender Troublemakers (1993) Some 90s Toronto trans girls fucking and discoursing. Explicit tgirl on tgirl action. This is the only one on the list that I haven’t actually watched yet. I’m hyped to watch it tho. Seems mindblowingly rad af.

Happy Birthday Marsha (2018) It's about Marsha P. Johnson.

I don't Know (1971) I'm obsessed with the trans girl in this one she just keeps popping up in all kinds of early 70s stuff. Directed by Penelope Spheeris (who is the sister of the cis gf in it).

Mesmeralda (2019) AN ABSOLUTE BANGER HOLY FUCK THE VIBES ARE OFF THE CHARTS! PLS WATCH THIS! I refuse to apologize for it being 15GB or to re encode it. It’s worth every byte and I want to ensure that this full quality copy doesn’t disappear off of the internet.

Pat Rocco's Changes (1970) It's that same girl again!

Queens at Heart (1967) I can't get over that hairdresser girl thinking she's back passing. Most adorably weak boymode ever.

Shangri-La (2021) Another Isabel Sandoval joint.

The Yellow Wallpaper (2021) Freshly post op girl with a supportive boyfriend goes unhinged.

Undress Me (2012) Jana Bringlöv Ekspong did a few short films. Give janabringlove a google after watching this.

///JUST LIKE BTW

Some of these would be tough to find elsewhere, but most of the movies are also watchable on fmovies and/or can be torrented in higher quality.

After you've worked your way through the folder then just start doing Google searches for trans films. Look at IMDB keywords and letterboxd lists. There are so many more out there. These are just like my personal picks.

#trans #trans girls #trans films #queer films

[zo1nkss]

.

#void.critical #ik everyone's in their 'neil gaiman can do no wrong' era or whatever #bc he's nice to the gays and shit #but I'm so fucking tired of seeing his annoying ass face all over my dash so I blocked him on tumblr #I'm not even sorry like!! #he's so fatphobic and proud of it y'all #its gross #I genuinely do not understand how there is ALWAYS a white man ppl won't criticize or even stop to examine his unspoken biases lmfao #like I'm over it #I don't wanna see it #Void Rambles

[love-belle]

lo mein kayamat tak hua tera !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which everyone knows that they want each other, except for them and it's time that they change it.

or

for when you find out forever waala love. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // f1 x platonic!reader // aditya roy kapur x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - this is for my desi f1 fans and desi f1 fans only ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by adityaroykapur, lilymhe, maxverstappen1 and 2,681,561 others

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≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

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≡;- ꒰ °instagram stories ꒱

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tagged adityaroykapur

13,628 comments

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[futureman]

the way we fight

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

summary: you and joel love taking your frustrations out on each other—in more ways than one

warnings: 18+ MDNI, language, drug use, canon-typical violence, slight spoilers for minor tlou 2 cutscene, jackson era, enemies to lovers, undefined age gap, sloooow buildup, smut, grinding, rough oral (male & female receiving)

word count: 6.7k

a/n: no idea how this got so long, but here we are! generally my fics are based on song lyrics, so this one goes out to my girl ari and social house. this honestly took a while to wrap my brain around and idk how the end got so filthy but alas, i really hope y'all enjoy! as always, thoughts and feedback are always appreciated 💕

It’s always an argument with him. He’s just so stubborn. Actually, Joel Miller might be the most stubborn man you’ve ever met. There’s never any room for disagreement or discussion with him—it’s his way or the highway. Half the time, you don’t even know what you’re fighting about, hurling callous, empty words at each other as if they don’t hurt. Immensely.

Maybe you really do genuinely hate each other. Or maybe it’s just for the fun of it.

It’s been like this for as long as you’ve known him, which, in hindsight, hasn’t even been that long. Probably a year? Year and a half? In all that time, you’ve never managed to crack his tough exterior and, as far as you know, no one else has, either.

The only things anyone knows for sure are that he’s Tommy Miller’s older brother and he’s got a daughter named Ellie. He hasn’t made a lot of friends here and it’s not hard to see why. He’s mean in a surly old man kind of way and rarely has anything nice to say to anyone—if he says anything at all.

Yet, somehow you still find yourself spending the majority of your time with him. It’s not something you do by choice. It’s a forced proximity thing.

You can’t tell if Tommy schedules you for patrols together because you’re the only one who hasn’t kicked up a stink about it or if he just thinks it’s funny to watch you both squirm. Most of the town thinks it’s hilarious, so you can only guess it’s the latter.

During your first few outings together, Joel wouldn’t talk to you unless it was absolutely necessary, and, even then, all you’d get was a grunt or some grumbled instructions. The silence got old pretty quickly. It wasn’t until you made your first mistake out in the field that he finally started communicating. Maybe a little louder than you’d hoped.

Now, Joel will pick a fight anywhere, usually over the dumbest shit. But his bark is worse than his bite—most of the time, at least.

On his worst days, his anger is explosive and it seems like he takes it out exclusively on you. It’s honestly a little ridiculous that you haven’t just asked Tommy to take you off his patrols already, but there’s a part of you that’ll never admit you actually kind of like your dynamic.

Not a lot happens in Jackson—it’s well-protected and even the community drama gets a little stale. Joel might be a dick, but he keeps things interesting, keeps you on your toes.

And it’s hard to ignore the fire in his eyes that makes you think he likes it just as much as you do.

It’s fucking freezing out and you haven’t even left for patrol yet before Joel’s muttering something condescending under his breath. Surprise, surprise—he’s in a bad mood and about to make it your problem. You throw him an unimpressed look over your shoulder, the best you can muster this early in the morning, and continue to saddle your horse.

“You wanna say that a little louder, Miller?”

He looks tired and annoyed and, god, you haven’t been awake nearly long enough for this shit. Today’s going to be trying enough as it is. You were assigned one of the longer routes and the clouds are already dark with the promise of rain or worse.

There are a few other patrol groups nearby gearing up to leave and their preparations suddenly slow, eyes darting between the two of you as if they can sense the impending argument. You barely notice their loitering, the small crowd inching forward to not-so-subtly eavesdrop.

“No, really, I’d love to hear to hear what you have to say,” you taunt him, hands settling on your hips. “Y’know, it’s really not like you to keep things to yourself. You sure you’re feeling alright today, old man?”

“Feelin’ just fine, sweetheart,” he grits through his teeth, rolling his eyes. “Just hurry your ass up so we can get this over and done with. I’m not tryin’ to spend any more time with ya than I have to.”

You quirk an eyebrow. Sweetheart? That’s a new one. It sounded sarcastic as hell and a little patronizing but, still, that’s not something Joel’s ever called you before. Useless and annoying, sure, but never sweetheart.

Your stomach swoops, but you force yourself to ignore it; that’s not even remotely something you want to analyze today.

“Uh, yeah…whatever,” you eye him strangely, and he abruptly looks away, shifting his focus back to checking his saddlebags. It’s like he’s purposefully avoiding your gaze, and it’s weird. He’s acting so fucking weird today.

Sparing him one last glance, you throw a leg over your horse and start toward the gate at a slow trot. You don’t bother waiting for him to catch up.

“What’s our first checkpoint?” you call over your shoulder, but he’s somehow already right behind you, his horse falling in line with yours.

“You should already know that,” Joel sighs, brow furrowed in what you can only assume is irritation. Oh, here it comes—the inevitable lecture. He does this every single time you're on patrol, whether you’ve done something wrong or not. You must’ve really pissed him off if you’re hearing it this early.

Except—he’s not berating you. Instead, he pulls a map out of his backpack. “Alright, look,” he says, leaning in closer so you can see. “This is us right here, and—,” his index finger traces a route from Jackson, winding along a road that passes through a small neighborhood, and lands on your first stop, located a few side streets off a main road, “—we should end up here in about an hour if the weather holds up.”

Nodding, you look up at him. You hadn't realized how close his face had gotten to yours, and your lips part around an involuntary gasp. His eyes drop to your mouth for a second too long before he pulls away, folding up his map and tucking it back into his pack.

You try to convince yourself that you imagined it, that Joel Miller would never intentionally look at your lips like he wants to kiss you, but you can still feel his warm breath on your skin and it’s affecting you more than you want to admit.

This is…not at all like your normal dynamic and it’s throwing you off. Joel hasn’t raised his voice once today and, at most, he’s only made a few snide remarks that weren’t nearly as bad as they usually are.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” you breathe out, creating a tiny puff of condensation in the air. “It doesn’t even feel like it's cold enough to snow, anyway. The worst we’ll probably get is some rain and we’ve ridden in way worse than that.”

All you get in response is a low grunt, and then he’s lifting the reins, leading his horse in the direction of your first checkpoint. You sigh. Guess you’re back to square one. You never thought you’d miss your spats, and can’t help but wonder what the hell happened to make him change his behavior so radically.

“Seriously, though, are you okay? You’re, like, really quiet today,” you prod, and his whole body tenses. He turns to you, expression angry, and it sends a shiver down your spine. There he is.

“Didn’t I already fuckin’ tell you I’m fine? What, you suddenly lose the ability to hear or somethin’?” He shakes his head in annoyance, and you’re glad he’s not looking at you anymore because you can’t suppress the grin that spreads across your face.

“This girl, I swear,” you hear him mutter as he trots away.

You don’t say anything to each other for the rest of the ride to the checkpoint. The crumbling attorney's office is basically the same as you remember from the last time you were here. It’s old, obviously, and musty, but it’s stocked with random provisions, like food and ammo, so patrol crews can replenish their supplies before heading out to their next destination.

There’s also a killer view of Jackson from one of the windows, and you get distracted looking out at the lights and mountains in the distance. It’s starting to flurry, so you drop your backpack on the floor and stick both hands out to catch some of the snowflakes in your palms. So much for rain.

“You dilly dallyin’ again? Just sign the logbook already so we can move the fuck on,” Joel’s voice startles you out of your reverie. Huffing, you turn away from the window, looking for the pen that’s supposed to be next to the notebook, but it’s nowhere to be found.

“You know what, asshole, you could’ve just as easily signed the damn thing yourself. You were there too, or are you getting forgetful in your old age?” you shoot back as you hunch down, getting on your hands and knees to search under the desk. You hear him scoff behind you.

You spot the pen towards the back, because of course it rolled that far, and bend down so you can reach out a little farther. Your fingers brush one end and then you’ve got it, sitting back up with your prize in hand. Looking over your shoulder, you just barely catch Joel’s eyes darting away from where you were a moment ago, basically puppy-posing on the floor. That’s…suspicious.

“The fuck? Were you just staring at my ass?” you ask incredulously. There’s no goddamn way. He snorts, arms crossed with an uncharacteristic smirk on his face, and you raise an eyebrow at him.

“You wish, sweetheart,” he says condescendingly, and there it is again. That fucking word. So, he’s calling you pet names and staring at your ass now? There’s something seriously off about him today and you want to know what his deal is.

“You wanna tell me why you keep calling me that? You’ve been acting weird as fuck all day and it’s giving me whiplash,” you glower at him, taking a seat at the edge of the desk and forgetting all about the logbook. He shrugs.

“Dunno what you’re talkin’ about,” he says simply, and you squint at him.

“Seriously, Joel? You've called me sweetheart twice today and now you’re checking me out,” you hop off the desk and walk over to where he’s leaning against the wall. “If I didn’t know any better…,” you glance down at his lips, moving closer, “I’d say you were flirting with me."

Well, that made him angry. "Fuck you,” he growls in your face, and his lips are soft where they accidentally graze your cupid's bow. He’s trembling now, fists clenched at his sides, and you think he’s about to push you away when he grabs you by the hips and shoves you against the wall. Your head lolls back and you laugh cruelly.

“Yeah, Joel,” you roll your hips into his and he grits his teeth, tightening his grip. “I think that’s exactly what you wanna do.”

But before you can go any further, there’s a crash just outside the door accompanied by a familiar sound that turns your blood to ice.

It’s unmistakable. The clicking, guttural and stuttered, is followed by a high-pitched shriek that echoes throughout the small space, and you both freeze. You look up at Joel, terrified, and he raises a finger to his lips, eyes telling you to be quiet or else.

There’s no way either of you can unholster your guns—and reload, in your case—without alerting it to your position. Joel reaches for the hunting knife strapped to his thigh, and you move to do the same, only to realize it isn't there.

Fuck, it has to be somewhere. Probably in one of the dozen random holsters you have attached to you right now.

Frantic, you pat at your sides and legs—anywhere it could be—as your panicked intakes of breath gradually increase in volume. A hand slaps over your mouth, and suddenly Joel is crushing your body against the wall, halting your movements.

"Quit," he whispers harshly, lips brushing the shell of your ear, and you nod quickly.

The creature abruptly changes course, jerking toward the open window, and that’s when you notice something familiar by its feet. It's—fuck, it's your backpack. And your knife is gleaming from where it sits, nestled in one of the side pockets.

Stupid, that was so stupid. If, by some miracle, this thing doesn't kill you, there’s no doubt Joel will once he realizes your mistake. His hand drops from your mouth and he glances back over his shoulder at the clicker, gripping his knife a little tighter.

He looks resolute, and it dawns on you that he’s about to make a move. It takes everything you’ve got not to grab onto his coat and pull him back to you as he slowly shifts away, but then something else stops him in his tracks.

Another screech rings out from the other side of the room, and now you know you’re fucked. There’s only one option left now. Either you run, or you get torn apart. He reaches down to take your hand in his, warring emotions of anger and fear in his eyes as he looks into yours, and squeezes; it’s now or never.

The path to the doorway you came through is somehow miraculously clear, and Joel takes off at a sprint, dragging you with him but, to his horror, you decide to do yet another stupid thing.

For reasons you can’t explain, you find yourself ripping your hand out of his, swerving to snatch your backpack from where it lies just a few feet from the clicker.

Joel is yelling, or at least you think he is, and you vaguely feel his blunt nails scratch the back of your hand as he reaches out to stop you, but he can’t. You’re moving on autopilot, can barely register your body moving at all, until your fingertips skim the strap of your pack and the clicker is shrieking in your face.

You don’t think you’ve ever been this close to one before, even dead, and it’s worse than you could’ve ever imagined. The world freezes for a moment and you freeze with it, unable to move or look away from the fungus erupting from its skull, teeth gnashing inches away from your throat.

And then you feel warmth—warm, strong arms wrap around your waist and tug harder and harder until you’re back out in the cold. Joel spots his horse a short distance away, likely spooked by the commotion, but you can’t see much farther than that. What was a gentle flurry less than a half hour ago has become a violent blizzard, and you’re both getting pelted by ice that burns as it scrapes across your skin.

There’s one horse—just Joel’s horse—but there’s no time to think about the fate of your own before his hands are on your hips, lifting you up and into the saddle, and he’s climbing on in front of you.

He urges his horse forward and you’re off without so much as a glance behind you, galloping away from danger and down a street that you realize you actually recognize.

“Joel,” you squeeze his waist and he ignores you. He’s shaking and it’s definitely not just from the cold. You can feel the anger radiating off of him in waves and it’s warranted. You fucked up big time. “Joel, turn right,” you say a little louder, and he’s still not listening. “Turn right! There’s a library up ahead, you have to turn now!”

He growls, and you think he’s purposely going to miss the turn until he’s yanking the reins to the right, nearly throwing you both off the horse.

“You better know what the fuck you’re doin’,” he all but shouts back, and you wrap your arms around his waist a little tighter.

“It’s safe!” you yell, struggling to speak loud enough for him to hear you over the wind. “Ellie’s been there before, loads of times, and she says it’s safe. “

And that’s all it takes to convince him.

The library’s completely boarded up and, with the wind howling against your backs, it takes more than a few hard tugs to yank enough of them off to get inside the lobby with Joel’s horse.

He hands you the reins before moving into the next room, crouching along the rows of aging books and knocked-over bookcases, and you peek in, watching him anxiously. Cracked bricks litter the ground, and he steps over a few as he crouches into place behind a broken book cart.

He picks one up and then shoots you a look, eyebrows lifting pointedly, and you realize he wants you to get back into the lobby, out of sight. You duck behind the wall, placing a soothing hand on his horse right as you hear the sound of the brick shattering against the ground, and wait. A few agonizing seconds pass before you hear him throw one more a little farther out, just to be sure.

When nothing startles or jumps out, Joel whistles and you know that’s your cue to come out from your hiding spot. Normally, that would piss you off immensely, him whistling for you like you’re a fucking animal, but you can’t find it in yourself to care right now.

You’re exhausted now that the adrenaline’s wearing off, and the only thing you want to do is curl up into one of the torn-up chairs in the corner and pass out until morning. But that’s not what Joel has in mind.

“Y’think you’re off the hook for the shit you pulled earlier?”

You sigh, head tipping back and thumping against the bookcase behind you. “Do we have to do this right now? Joel, I’m tired and hungry, and fucking cold, and I really don’t have the energy.”

“Seriously? Sure looked like ya had the energy when you were runnin’ straight into that clicker’s mouth,” he scowls, reaching down to grab something next to the book cart and throwing it at your feet. “Thought ya might want this back since you apparently decided it was worth more than your life.”

You inhale sharply through your nose, eyebrows pinching together. Joel…he—

It's your backpack.

You were so sure it got left behind when he saved you from that clicker and yet, there it is. You lean over to pick it up, but Joel kicks it out of reach before you get the chance. He looks livid and now, you realize, you’re about to get that lecture you dodged earlier tenfold.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Me? I'm not the one having an identity crisis! You’ve been nothing but distracting all damn day,” you scoff bitterly. “None of this would've happened if you hadn't had a complete personality makeover overnight.”

You can’t believe he…is he serious? There’s no way you’re taking the fall for this, not all of it. Yeah, you fucked up with the backpack, but Joel isn't entirely blameless, either. If you hadn’t been fighting again, you would’ve just signed the stupid logbook and moved on like you were supposed to.

"Yeah, alright, sweetheart. It's my fault you almost got us both killed. Maybe you’re forgettin’ I saved your goddamn life back there, somethin' I wouldn't have had to do if you hadn't gone and done something so fuckin’ stupid."

Sweetheart.

"Stop calling me that! I…fuck, Joel, I just don't get you. I get it—I know I fucked up, but…,” your voice cracks and you can feel your lower lip wobbling, but you can’t let yourself cry. That would only prove to Joel what he already knows—you’re weak. “I’m sorry, okay? What more do you want from me?”

He chuckles mirthlessly. “You really wanna know what I want from ya?” He crowds your space, leaning in slightly. His head tilts like he's going to kiss you, and your breath hitches. “I want ya to get your shit together and stop makin’ unnecessary mistakes,” he says cruelly instead.

Your jaw drops.

"No, you know what? Fuck this,” you seethe. “When we get back to Jackson, I’m telling Tommy to never put me on your patrols again. I can’t do this anymore.”

“Think I give a shit about that? Go ahead, you’d be doin’ me a favor!” he yells at your back as you storm away, and you flip him off over your shoulder. Behind you, he sighs heavily, sounding as worn out and frustrated as you feel.

What a load of bullshit. You don't deserve to be treated like this. There's a stark difference between the inconsequential arguments you normally have and whatever the hell that was.

And the worst part? It hurts so much more than you expected it to. Leave it to you to get attached to the asshole whose personal mission it is to make you miserable. This whole thing was fun while it lasted, but you meant what you said. You and Joel, it’s over.

You exhale wetly, tears still threatening to fall as you leave him behind in what the yellowing signs tell you is the romance section. Well, isn’t that ironic.

You quickly realize navigating the library in the dark is more difficult than you anticipated, even with your flashlight. Not even ten steps away from where you started, you trip over something protruding from the ground and almost land flat on your face.

Joel comes running over as you let out a frustrated noise and push yourself up onto your knees. His knife is at the ready like he was expecting danger but, no, it’s just you humiliating yourself even further. He lets out a relieved sigh, holstering his knife, but then just stands there glaring down at you.

“I’m fine, by the way,” you wave a hand from the ground. He shakes his head, reaching down to help you up, and his hand feels so nice in yours—big, strong, and calloused.

You curse yourself for still thinking about him like that, like anything at all, but you can't help it. And when his hand drops yours, it feels distinctly cold and empty.

Shaking it off, you aim your flashlight at the offending spot on the floor. “What is that, anyway?” you ask Joel as he crouches down to brush away some of the dirt and debris.

“A handle,” he mumbles, pulling out his knife again and digging it into a crack in the floor, tracing around what looks like…a door?

“Is that a trapdoor?” You lean over his shoulder to get a better look. He looks back at you and nods, looking a little less angry and a lot more concerned. “Well, should we check it out?”

Instead of answering you, he wrenches the door open and shines his flashlight into the opening. There’s a ladder leading down and you can hear something rumbling below that sounds like a generator.

“Stay here,” he eyes you sternly as he begins his descent down the ladder.

“Uh, yeah, that’s not happening,” you scoff, following him. The ladder’s longer than you expected, and once your feet touch the ground, you reach out to run your hands along the wall, searching for a light switch.

A few moments later, your fingers come across something vaguely switch-like and you flip it, a warm glow filling the room, emanating from about a dozen heat lamps hanging from the ceiling. Your eyes adjust and—

“No fucking way.”

Joel is silent beside you, and you glance over, his expression just as stunned as yours is. You step closer. “Is that…?”

“Weed,” he breathes out.

You didn’t mean to get this high. Really, you didn’t. But you're in a fucking grow room hidden beneath a library in some tiny, backwater town, and you almost just died. So really, what reason was there not to?

The blizzard’s still going strong outside and, at the very least, it’s nice and warm down here. There's also the added bonus of something fun to do while you wait it out.

…Yeahhh, so you might’ve found a mason jar full of already rolled joints between some couch cushions, literally just sitting there for the taking. What were you supposed to do? Not smoke them?

But what surprises you even more than the pot itself is that Joel is smoking it, too.

It’s cute how he coughs after every drag, eyes watering as you pass a joint back and forth. The air is thick with smoke and a strange tension that neither of you can really describe, but you’re not fighting anymore. Not yet, at least.

The couch you're sitting on is cozy and less tattered than the chairs upstairs, so you settle there for the night, sitting closer than you ever willingly have before. Enough time has passed that you’re beginning to realize neither of you plans on moving, either. That you’re actually enjoying each other’s company.

The warmth of him seeps pleasantly through your clothes, and he feels so solid and real against you. Unconsciously, you melt into his side, your fuzzy brain chemicals urging you to feel more, more of him, and he tenses only for a moment before lifting an arm to rest behind you on the back of the couch.

It's strange how readily he's accepting your touch now. With each drag, you feel a little braver and press more of your body into his, draping your legs across his lap and nesting your head in the crook of his neck. He goes boneless when you mouth damply at the skin just below his jaw, his throat rumbling under your lips as he lets out a ragged breath.

You’ve both loosened up so much since earlier. It’s an easy, comfortable sort of peace you’ve found down here, even after the horrors you experienced earlier in the day. Part of you wishes it could always be like this with Joel but, then again, that just wouldn’t be you and Joel.

Your relationship thrives on the way you fight, almost like you can’t exist together without the promise of battle. So, when the high wears off and the world feels less lazy and more dire, you’ll both remember with sharp clarity that you hate each other. The memories will fade away and the war will continue. That’s just how it is.

It’s a little sad when you think about it, but for at least a little while longer, you’ll still have this version of you and Joel. You’ll enjoy the way he feels pressed up against your body; the way he feels pliant and suggestible under your lips.

And you’ll ask the question that’s been eating away at you all day because right now, you’re positive your lips can convince him to do anything.

“Tell me why you keep calling me sweetheart,” you murmur against his skin. He freezes, clearly not expecting you to bring it up again. You lift the blunt to his lips and encourage him to inhale to calm his nerves. The smoke plumes from his nose like a dragon as he exhales, and you're enraptured by the way it swirls through the air before dissipating. He braces a hand on your thigh before responding.

"Well, I…uh—," he mumbles, his cheeks turning a deep shade of burgundy, and you can’t resist reaching out to stroke the heated skin with your fingertips. He breathes shakily as he continues, "I—had a dream about ya last night, and…you, uh—you were…"

He cuts himself off, and your mind goes fuzzy for a moment as you let that little bit of information sink in. So, Joel was dreaming about you last night…and now, he’s treating you so much differently. Calling you pet names, eyeing you up, touching you. It all makes sense—but now you need him to tell you everything.

"What was I doing in your dream, Joel?"

He meets your gaze, looking flustered and a little ashamed, and it's a far cry from the man who was yelling at you not even an hour or two ago.

"You, uh," he clears his throat, still hesitating. You bite your bottom lip in anticipation, sucking it wetly into your mouth, and his eyes darken. He lifts a thumb to your mouth, tugging your lip down just slightly, and you can see the moment his apprehension disappears. "You were on your knees for me," he murmurs. "Doin' such a good job, too, workin' that pretty mouth of yours."

You inhale sharply and his thumb drops, but his eyes never leave your lips. Gingerly, you pluck the joint still burning between his fingers and take one last deep drag before flicking the rest to the side and crashing your lips onto his.

God, they feel exactly like you thought they would, soft and a little chapped from the cold, but so fucking eager against yours. You hold his face in your hands, rubbing your thumbs along the roughness of his beard, and he groans as you exhale into his mouth, tasting the smoke on your tongue.

Sighing, you lean back slowly, heavy-lidded eyes roving over his face to take in his kiss-swollen lips and that beautiful burgundy flush. He's so pretty, and you can’t help but run your fingers through his thick, graying hair as he pants heavily below you.

You need to feel more of him, all of him, so you climb into his lap, straddling his hips and grinding down against where he's already straining in his pants. He grips you tighter in response, working you steadily across his hardening cock.

"Keep going,” you moan breathily. You're already so wet, and heat blooms in your belly every time your clit grazes the seam of his jeans. It's a foggy, hazy pleasure, what you feel when he speaks, and you're addicted to it. “Keep telling me about your dream—a-about my mouth…I wanna hear more.“

You feel rather than hear him growl low in his throat as he ducks his head down to your neck, sucking and biting bruises into your skin.

“Your mouth…so fuckin’ wet—s-soft and tight around my cock,” he sucks hard under your jaw, and you gasp. “Takin’ me all the way down, like I always knew you could.”

Your breath hitches, eyes rolling back. The thought of him dreaming about his cock down your throat makes your cunt pulse, and now you're positive you're soaking through his pants.

You bet he thinks about it when you're on patrol together, too—that when you're fighting like you've both got something to prove, he's thinking about shutting you up with his cock. Fucking your mouth to show you that what he says goes.

"M-more, Joel…ngh, fuck, I need more," you reach down to shove his shirt up so you can feel him, his stomach flexing and unflexing under your palms. He starts to buck into your clothed pussy faster, like he's fucking you through the fabric, and you whine pathetically as he tugs hard on your hair, yanking your head to the side.

"S’alright, n-needy girl, 'm gonna tell you exactly how I was fuckin' that sweet mouth of yours last night…h-how you were—," he groans raggedly in your ear, voice cracking, and you swear you can feel his heartbeat racing between your legs. "…c-chokin' and gaggin' around my cock while I was cummin' down your throat…"

He keeps giving you what you asked for, tells you all the filthy shit he wants to do to your mouth, and his hips start to stutter like he's bringing himself closer to orgasm with his own words. It would make a lot of sense—Joel's always loved the sound of his own voice, especially when it's directed at you.

But you can’t hear much of anything anymore aside from the sound of your own stuttered moaning, suddenly so, so close to hurtling over the edge with him. You’re sliding so easily over his cock now and you brace your hands on his shoulders as your thighs start to quake around his waist. He digs his fingers into the plush curve of your ass, pulling you down harder, but you squeeze his shoulders roughly to get his attention.

“Y-you—Joel, you can’t cum,” you whine into his neck, and he all but snarls in response. “No…no, no, no. Want you t-to fuck my mouth—you have to cum in my mouth—”

He abruptly yanks you off his lap, shoving you back onto the couch and wrenching your jeans and underwear down in two hard tugs.

You barely have time to let out a squeal before he buries his face in your cunt, honing in on your clit and sucking wetly. He flattens his tongue, circling once, twice, three times, and then you’re cumming with a loud exhale, gushing as you grind into his face.

Your pussy’s still pulsing, locking down around nothing, as you tug him off of you by his hair.

“Joel—jeans..o-off…now.” You help him push them down just enough to free his cock, and then your mouth is on him, sucking him down to the hilt.

His hips buck off the couch of their own accord and he groans pathetically as you gag around him. He’s petting your head and saying something raggedly above you, likely apologizing for hurting you, but it’s drowned out by the blood rushing in your ears.

Instead of pulling off to reassure him that you very much want him to keep gagging you, you guide his hands to bury themselves in your hair and squeeze his thigh, praying he gets the hint. His fingers tense against your scalp as he holds you in place and, yeah, he absolutely gets it.

Your head feels like it’s disconnecting from the rest of your body as he starts fucking into your mouth the way he was probably dreaming about last night. He’s just so fucking big, and you feel a weird sort of pride bloom in your chest at being able to take him like this.

Tears are streaming down your face from the effort and you’re drooling all over his lap but, fuck, if he wants to do this every time you patrol together, you’ll let him. You take back everything you said before—if Tommy ever takes you off Joel’s patrols, you’ll kill him.

His fingers start to tug harder, painfully at your hair and you can hear him moaning something above you, his words slurred and desperate.

“S-so fuckin’ good, sweetheart, you’re…ngh—fuckin’ perfect,” he grits through his teeth, breath hitching as you wrap your lips tighter around him, flattening your tongue along the underside of his length. “‘m gonna cum…fuck, fuck—need you t-to swallow it all, sweetheart… know you can do it…so goddamn good.”

Humming and swallowing around him, you reach up to cup his balls and he erupts, pumping thick cum into your mouth and down your throat. Deep groans are punched out of his chest with every spurt and you can feel his cock pulsing against your tongue.

There’s so much of it. You try your best to do what he asked, to be good and swallow everything, but it’s starting to leak out the corners of your mouth and down his cock. Slurping up as much as you can, you pull off with an audible pop and lick off the rest of the salty, white streaks remaining on his skin.

When your watery eyes finally meet his, he’s looking at you like maybe he really has been dreaming this whole time. He’s still a little dazed, from both the weed and the intense orgasm, and he reaches out to cradle your face in his hands almost as if to prove to himself that you’re real. It’s a surprisingly tender gesture that kind of makes your heart ache.

Your lips quirk up as you lean into his touch, aching to prolong the moment, and he leans forward to press a sweet kiss to them, mouth coaxing yours open to taste himself on your tongue. You whine softly as his tongue runs along your bottom lip, and then he pulls back, hauling you into his arms to lie back on the couch.

Those heat lamps feel unbearable now. You're both hot and sweating, chests heaving from exertion, but you still refuse to separate from each other. Your brain’s feeling a lot less foggy, so you’re probably coming down from your high, which means Joel is, too. The realization sends a pang of worry through your chest like you expect him to suddenly come to and push you away, but he doesn’t.

Instead, he pulls your back to his chest, positioning your bodies more comfortably before murmuring fondly in your ear, "You’re somethin’ else, y’know that?”

You breathe out a sigh of relief. Maybe you’ll get to keep this after all—and without sacrificing everything that makes you and Joel, well…you and Joel. You twist around to shoot him an unimpressed look, but the burgeoning grin on your face betrays you.

“What, you’re just figuring that out? Took you long enough.”

He scoffs. “Listen, sweetheart—“ But you gasp, cutting him off before he can finish his sentence. No, way. How are you just putting two and two together now?

“Wait…oh my god, wait—is this why you keep calling me sweetheart? Because it's what you called me when I was blowing you in your sex dream?” You’re grinning so hard it hurts. How the fuck didn't you notice that earlier?

There was plenty of time to work it out when you were all but fucking on the couch for the past hour. But then…he didn’t actually start calling you sweetheart until he was cumming, and the realization makes your cunt throb. You file that information away for now, but make a mental note to come back to it later—hopefully back in Jackson with Joel.

…who’s still mumbling irritatedly into your shoulder. You tilt your head back to press your lips under his jaw, and you're quickly learning that kissing that particular spot turns him to jelly.

“You can keep calling me sweetheart,” you start, thinking over your next words carefully. “But I’ve got conditions.”

“Oh, she’s got demands now,” you can hear the dramatic eye roll in his voice. You suck a bruise into his skin to stop the back sass and it works spectacularly.

“Oh, shut up. It benefits you too, asshole,” you glare up at him before continuing. “I want your dick in my mouth every time we patrol from now on. And next time, you have to fuck me.”

His fingers dig into your sides, and you’re pretty sure you just felt his cock twitch against your ass.

“…Y-yeah, I, uh. I can do that,” he stutters, suddenly demure, and it dawns on you how much you like seeing all these different sides of Joel. He’s been mean and angry, shy and tender, and so fucking sexy all in the span of a single day. It's not something you ever would've expected from him.

You used to think he was just some grumpy old man and that his one personality trait was being an obnoxious jerk, but tonight you were proven very, very wrong.

You pull his arms tighter around you, let yourself get lost in the steady thrum of his heartbeat against your back, and hum contently. You’ll have to thank Ellie and her weed-grower friend later.

“Y’know, I almost thought you were gonna say no more fighting,” he says after a few seconds of silence. You look up at him incredulously, and he chuckles.

“Nah, where’s the fun in that?”

thanks so much for reading! 🥰

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #joel miller

[wettvagina]

REVENGE COUPLE

SYNOPSIS: Jean cheats on you with Mikasa, and Mikasa cheats on Eren with Jean. Subsequently, you and Eren get together. The perfect revenge couple.

WARNINGS: p in v , creampie

a/n:lol

You laid almost lifelessly in the comfort of your bed, in your dorm room. Your mouth was dry and your eyes felt heavy, your hair physically triggered you as you could sense the grease and tangles.

You laid there, bitterly as your phone buzzed repeatedly, you didn't know if you've even processed everything yet, however this pain was like a knife in the heart. It was as if, something you've worked so hard for, perfecting it with every second passing, was suddenly stolen from you.

That pinpointed half of what you were feeling, the other half being the feeling of resentment and a sense of palapbility towards yourself, taking great concern towards your flaws, physically and mentally. You simply felt like an object, something that somebody could chew up, then spit out when they've grown bored, or in your case; chew up and spit you out when they want a new one.

Thoughts; memories, moments, words he said to you, all ran through your mind, toying with your head as you leaned into your pillow, wondering, why?

Just why? Were you not good enough, did you not put your everything into your relationship, were you annoying, or did he not find you attractive. Thoughts plagued your mind consecutively before one thought occupied all the space.

Maybe he was just an asshole.

An asshole; for doing that.

for making you feel this way.

for making you look at yourself in a hateful way.

Or perhaps, you were just gullible, foolish for believing that genuine love could florish between people like you two, you were simply stupid for loving him in the first place, for giving him all of you and him betraying you in the snap of a finger was your punishment.

Pain, anxiety, lonliness was constant in your system, as you fell into the loop; reminiscing the memories you shared with him, painting him as an asshole to get your brain to move on, deducing yourself to be a fool for loving him in the first place, as lastly concluding that you were still in love with him.

You sighed for the hundredth time, turning your face so that your vision pointed up at the ceiling, you extended your hand to grab your phone which vibrated against the wooden nightstand it laid on, providing a small exposure of light in your pitch black room.

Turning on your phone, you see the million notifications from your friends, asking if you were okay, you saw some notifications from boys whom were waiting patiently for you and Jean to break up to slide into your DMs.

Clicking on the Instagram icon, you waited for the homepage to load, your heart begun drumming against your chest as you saw the pink-to-orange gradient circle around Jean's round profile photo displayed on recently uploaded stories.

Impulsively, you clicked the icon, regret coiling in your brain as the story took time to load, upon loading, your eyes widened, seeing Mikasa's face posted to a love song, the red heart emoji captioned the screen as the story, and the music played from your phone.

Your eyes prickled with tears as you slammed your phone onto the bed, you screamed into your pillow, groaning as you stood to your feet, "This won't fucking do.'' you grunted, "Hey y'all, halloween party at my place, pull up if you're free" Floch's voice ringed from your phone, turning your phone screen to face you, you looked at Floch's Instagram story that automatically played, an evil smirk forming on your face as you rummaged through the pile of clothes on your floor.

Grabbing a black bra, a pair of shorts and a pair of black boots which stopped mid-calf, you stripped out of your two-day old clothes, wrapping yourself in a towel before stepping into the shower. "Siri, play some music." you chimed as your hype-music boomed from your phone's speaker.

Stepping into the shower, you washed your hair, shaved every part of your body with caution, muttering "I have to get laid." repeatedly like a crazy woman. Stepping out of the shower, you grabbed a black thong, music boomed in your ears as you danced in your dorm room while slipping the thong up your thighs, followed by your dark blue denim shorts, you grabbed the straps of the thong, raising them so they were visible under your shorts.

You clipped on your bra while opening your minifridge using your feet, you grabbed your emergency bottle of Hennessy, downing a large gulp, scrunching your face as the bitterness settles in your tongue, burning your throat as it enters your system, feeling a slight buzz, you downed a larger gulp, manically searching for your phone in the covers of your bed with your right hand, bottle of Hennessy in your left hand, taking occassional sips, bliss and excitedness pumping through your body.

Turning off the music which was playing, you shoved your phone in your back pocket of your shorts, leaving the open bottle of Hennessy on the wooden side table near your bed as you slip on your black boots, "Fuck where is it." you cursed as you searched your pile of clothes for a vital item for your costume.

"Yes!" you cheered upon finding the black cat ears, adjusting them onto your head before standing onto your feet, looking at yourself in the mirror. "How could somebody ever leave me." you mutter to yourself, touching your corporeal body as you look at yourself in the mirror.

Snatching your phone from your back pocket, you open the Instagram app, swiping to the camera feature, snapping some sexy pictures of yourself in your costume, finding a picture you liked, you put a song by Stunna Girl before posting it, waiting for it to upload before twisting the doorknob which kept you inside your dormroom, sashaying out of your dorm with clicks of your boots snapping from the floor.

"Goddamn!" someone muttered as you made your way through the hallway of several dormatories, upon reaching outside of your building complex, you took a large sniff of the air outside, perceptive of the afternoon breeze which smelled like maple syrup and cold donuts, you watched the hues of the sky, the bright orange to pink gradient seemingly more interesting as compared to other days where you'd immediately rush inside, not even peering up at the sky.

"Taxi." you called out, stepping into the yellow, black-striped vehicle, giving the driver details of your destination. You could hear the music from outside, the low-volume songs ascended its booming as you came closer to the property.

Floch's house was decorated with halloween decor, along with color-changing strip lights which illuminated the porch, displaying all the action of the people whom occupied the area; there were people kissing, grabbing at eachother, dancing, drinking, some even seemed to be getting fingered.

The yard of this frat house was littered with disposed bottles, snack paper wrapper, some tiny ziplock bags, as well as some red plastic cups. Kicking some shards of glass from the concrete pathway, you felt as if the ground was shaking to the beat of the music, your atomosphere synchronised with the sound of the music as you stepped into the porch, feeling the stares on you.

Tightening the straps of your bra and digging your phone even deeper into your pocket, you stepped into the house, the music becoming vivid as your eyes dazed at the disco-themed flashing lights reflected in your pupils.

Upon enterance, you were already pushed into the swaying crowd, dancing to whatever 90s to early 10s mix the DJ created, you heard yells, chants and moans compete with the playing music, you searched the entire room, subconsiously, counting all the people you were familiar with; Floch, Reiner, Ymir and Sasha.

You grinned when your eyes met with Sasha's, a grin of shame and embarrassment pratically, Sasha ran up to you, embracing you with tenderness as you giggled, holding back some tears as you expected the following words to come out of her mouth, "Listen, Jean's an asshole." she started, "Look at you, so beautiful, he should be lucky to even say he breathed the same air as you." she went on, grabbing your knuckles as she spoke, "It's fine, I'm fine and I really don't wanna talk about it." you vocalized, "Mhm, well, drinks are in the kitchen, but I feel like you already pre-gamed." she chatted, "Mhm, thanks." you smile at her before you all go your separate ways.

You pushed through the sonorous, shickered crowd, occasionally making eye contact with the boys whom knifed their gazes at you as if you were a piece of meat. You assumed you were in the hallway, as you passed through the dimly-lit, narrow path, barely littered with maudlin people, you heard voices paired with snickers as you reached closer to the kitchen, the song suddenly faded into a new one, and you heard louder chants and yawps from the distant crowd in the living room.

Both your eyebrows raised as you enetered the kitchen, involuntarily staring at Jean and Mikasa, Mikasa sat on the counter of the island, in the middle of the kitchen, around her jumbled with several alcohol bottles, Jean situated himself between her thighs, hands caressing her skin.

Soon, you saw Jean's perforating stare, his eyes shifted to Mikasa's face, whispering into her ears, soon she looked back at you, giggling when she faced Jean. You clenched your jaw, rage pumping through your veins, you swore your face would turn into rock as your stone-faced expression appeared.

Oh you were going to tell her. you swore to yourself, cursing under your breath as you noticed snickers and giggles from everyone in the kitchen, all of them with eyes pointing at you. "Aye Jean, can I make a move on your old girl." your heard a boy try to whisper to Jean with little effort to conceal his words, Jean looked at him, "Yeah, whatever." Jean ragged, with an I-Don't-Give-A-Fuck expression, all his attention keen on Mikasa, the group of boys laughed as you took a step forward, grabbing a bottle of whatever you were capable of picking up.

Popping the lid off, you turned around, gulping down the substance recklessly, a poor attempt to compress the pain stinging in your chest and the weakness your body suddenly felt. Taking an electrifying gulp, you placed the bottle on the nearest counter top which spanned around the walls of the room of the kitchen, "It'd be so hilarious if Eren shows up." Connie snickered, jabbing at Reiner who stood in a separate corner, before Reiner formed a snarky comment, you felt a presence in front of you.

Speak of the devil.

The entire room burst out in laugher, Eren's eyes meets Mikasa's as she smiles shyly, mockery interpretated from her actions, Jean's eyes lingered at Eren's somehow laid back expression. Was he high?

You thought to yourself, of course you were no dummy, you knew that Mikasa left Eren for Jean, the same way Jean left you for Mikasa, theoretically, you and Eren were on the same boat. You looked up at Eren, who's gaze shifted from Mikasa, then to Jean and then to the other people in the room lampooning on the current situation.

Then Eren's eyes shifted down onto you. You and Eren weren't strangers, you knew him and he knew you. Before him and Mikasa were together, as well as before you and Jean were together, Mikasa and Jean were together.

Mikasa and Jean's relationship were ragged at, due to the fact that Mikasa had been with several guys closely associated with Jean before hopping to Jean, both you and Eren ridiculed their relationship, that was back when you and Eren were colleagues, calling your relationship 'friends' would be pushing it.

However, your companionship with him soon came to an ironic end when Mikasa seemingly cheated on Jean with Eren, and in the next few weeks Eren isolated himself completely, ruining himself for a girl that would soon ruin him.

And well, out of convienence, Jean ran to you.

Everything was all and well, until the equilibrium was broken, meaning; Mikasa got bored of Eren and effortlessly jumped to Jean who was more than gleeful to take her back.

Oh well, end of backstory. Back to the present.

You looked up at Eren, a grin on your face, one that was hinted with slight mockery, you moved to the side, avoiding his figure as you walked out of the kitchen. Not wanting to be in that unbearing environment, you questioned yourself, wondering why you even came to this party. Soon, all your questions came to an abrupt end when the song switched, satisfyingly. You briskly walked to the living room, looking for an unoccupied body to grind on as you felt the sudden buzz of the alcohol.

The crowd ate your body as you found yourself backing it up on a random girl, slurring your words as you sung the lyrics to the song in a maudlin tone, woozy from the alcohol. Soon the music switched, and the lighting suddenly dimmed, you checked your phone, seeing the time was 6P.M, meaning the party had just kicked off.

Smirking when you felt a large presence tower behind you, you purposefully, pushed yourself backwards, poking your ass out as you moved your waist in a circle, feeling the person's large, calloused hands roam over the dip of your waist, down to your hips, keeping a steady hold as he grinded onto you.

You felt yourself getting wetter as you were somehow able to smell him, his colonge which was paired with an innocent whiff of shampoo, with the twist of your neck, you turned looking at who was behind you. Biting your lower lip once you realized it was Eren.

His eyelids were heavy as he looked down at your body, the globe of your ass covered by the denim of your shorts which was pressed against his grey sweatpants. His hands grabbed at your hips, pulling you onto him, you teasingly wriggled your hips, the flesh of your ass recoiling. "Fuck." he groaned, "Stop." he murmured, his raspy voice rang in your ears, and you were sure that there was a wet spot on your panties right now.

At this point alcohol had arrogated your body, impulsively, you pushed your ass back onto him, feeling how hard he was getting under his sweats. His hands housed your hips, you felt his touch tensen as he seemingly pulled you into him, you looked back at him, biting your lip when his eyes met yours.

At this point, the songs started switching more frequently, and more people started piling up in the living room, increasing the size of the crowd. "Holy shiiit, is that Eren?" an unfamiliar voice spoke amongst the loud music playing paired with the noisy crowd of swaying bodies. "Yeah, with Jean's girl." another voice was heard.

Pausing your movements you turned to look at where the interrogative voices emerged from, before you could even turn your head, Eren made you straighten your back, the back of your shoulders pressing against his chest, in one swift motion, Eren spun you around, making you face him.

You looked up at him, his dark green eyes piercing into yours as his hands found their way to your ass, his fingers settling on the curve. You looked at his eyes, then down to his pink lips, he then slowly started lowering his head, you knew where this was going.

Your heart throbbed in your chest, as your pussy simultaneously throbbed in your panties, his lips pressed onto yours in the warmest way possible, you felt his hands grip onto your ass as you maneuvered your hands to grab at his deep brunette hair.

For a split second, everything went silent, and you felt as though every emotion you previously endured had suddenly disappeared, the warmth of his lips somehow spread throughout your body, as you clenched your thighs together, breaking out of the heated kiss, Eren's lips never left the close contact of your skin as he traced down to your ears.

"C'mon." he whispered, before he slightly distanced himself from your face, his hands left your ass as he grabbed onto your hand, dragging you through the crowd, you didn't even notice the stares, paired with the several 'oohs' and cheers of other people, taking notice of the situation occurring.

Eren led you upstairs, which was dark and quiet, the orange murkiness of light which dispersed through the room shone over your head as the heels of your boots dug into the light tuape-colored carpet, the buttermilk shaded walls hung several abstract paintings of fruits.

You suddenly looked down at Eren's larger hand which clasped yours, feeling the torridity in your chest, stopping infront a walnut-colored door, with a silver doorknob, you looked up at Eren, heart thumping in your chest as his greedy, green eyes roamed up and down your body.

"You don't want to?" he questioned, genuine concern imbued into his voice, "I want to!" you confirmed, practically squealing, Eren giggled as he twisted the doorknob, allowing you to walk in first, you examined the umber-brown walls, paired with the same taupe-grey carpets from the hall, the atmosphere of the dimly-lit candle which attempted to illuminate the room echoed with the wall colors.

You felt a sudden whirpool of emotion in your body, to put it simply, greed, you wanted to fuck him so badly that it made your pussy dampen in his mere presence. Eren came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your shoulder, pressing his lips against the shell of your ear, "So fucking beautiful, how could anybody even think of leaving you." he sibilated.

His hand traveled down to the buttons of your shorts, unbuttoning the first loop before sliding down the zipper, his fingers slithered down your pants, rubbing at your clit, upon his sudden contact with your pussy, you held back the moans which arose.

"So fucking wet." he whispered as he let out a chuckle, his chin rested on your shoulder as he used one hand to massage your boobs, and the other to play with your pussy. Everything felt too good, you bit your lower lip as you felt your legs weaken.

"Listen." Eren whispered into your ear, "How bout' we make a little video for your lying boyfriend." Eren suggested, you turned your face to look at him, your lips meeting his in a slow, deep kiss.

"Mm, yeah." you agreed, "Alright, get on the bed, princess." Eren instructed, you walked up to the grey sheeted bed, sitting on the edge as Eren loosened the string on his sweatpants, pulling down the waistband, exposing the large tent in his boxers. You bit your lower lip as you looked at his clothed cock, right in front of you.

"Eren." your voice called out, "Hm?" he looked down at you, walking up to you, caressing your face with one hand, "I want you to fuck me from the back." you stated, you watch Eren's lips tug into a smirk as you got onto your fours.

Arching your back, you felt Eren's large hands around the belt loops of your shorts, slipping the denim fabric off, exposing your black thong which concealed your throbbing pussy. You could feel Eren's fingers slide away the thin piece of cloth which clothed your pussy, "You ready, princess?" he questioned, stroking his dick, coating his shaft with his pre-cum which oozed out of the tip.

"Mm, yeah." you groaned, you felt the tip of his cock, prodding at your wet enterance, "Fuckkk." Eren cursed as he slid his entire length into your welcoming pussy, your walls coating his dick with your juices.

"Shiit." you whined, his slow movements producing moans from you as his extensive, and broad cock pushed in and out of you. "You're so sexy like this." Eren groaned, his hand reaching to hold onto your hip as he buried his cock into you, feeling for his phone, he pulled it out, swiping to the Camera setting and hitting the record button.

"C'mon, show Jean what he can't have." Eren grunted, "Bounce on my dick, baby." Eren encouraged with a breathy giggle as you pushed yourself up and down his length, moaning his name as the friction of your walls against his hard, heavy cock sent a rush of pleasure up your spine, bliss fogging your brain.

Eren used his hand on your hips to pull and push you up and down his cock, his rickety, heavy breaths were heard as his head fell back, groaning your name at the soft, yet intense feeling of your pussy wrapped around his throbbing cock, bobbing up and down on it.

All the times he had engaged in having sex previously, could never amount to this, he made sure to get the way your ass sprung back on his cock with every thrust, pointing his iPhone camera at an angle where you looked best.

Likewise, you never felt as good as how you felt now, Eren's dick was significantly better than Jean's, and the whole concept of Eren recording you on his cock simply made it better, you arched your back as your knees dug into the sheets, you felt a mixture of yours and Eren's arousal drip down between your thighs.

"Oh fuuuck!" you bawled when Eren suddenly slammed into you, hearing your skin slap against his, "Shit, I'm close." he moaned, his pace quickened as he slammed into you, faster and harder, causing your pussy to react immediately by clenching around his cock, as the knot in your lower stomach become undone, you came all over his cock, prompting him to come inside of you.

"Fuck, I'm coming." Eren panted in the midst of your moans, painting your walls white with his come as you felt him pulse inside of you. Your breaths were heavy and unsteady as you felt Eren pull out, you heard several clicks from his phone.

"How bout' you do it?" he offered, displaying his phone screen; the already attached video file of your recent sextape in Jean's chat. With barely any hesitation, you used your remaining energy to click the send button, falling flat onto your chest with an exhausted sigh as you heard Eren chuckle.

"You want the video." he asked, with a soft voice as he laid next to you, sweat coating his forehead. "First ones never come out good, I'll take the second one." you teased, hoping you'd get to have another experience like this with him again, very soon.

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