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aetheternity · 3 years

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i got a request! which i do hope you like since it took a while for me to think of ejdj:

so hc’s for Levi and/or Mikasa ahsjd

they wasn’t there to protect you. They felt so stupid and useless. They couldn’t hold in their tears. you were gone. They couldn’t hold you in their arms. He couldn’t laugh at your stupid jokes. you were the heart of the survey corps. Now that you’re gone, the survey corps went all dull and colorless. They would curl up into a ball in their bed (which Levi has for some reason idk why, and if you’re wondering, no mikasa and levi don’t share a bed wtaf👩🏼‍⚖️👩🏼‍⚖️👩🏼‍⚖️) and think about their favorite moments with you. He would remember you fall down into a hay stack and that you would immediately laugh after. They would remember you falling asleep while reading a book with them. they would remember all that. weeks go by and you were still gone. The survey corps was still colorless and dull. There were many still crying after you ‘death’. But on the 18th week you were gone. it turns out. you weren’t dead. The survey corps were on an expedition, they had no expression on their face after your ‘death’ .. they still couldn’t get over the fact that you were dead. Oh they missed you so much .. but their sadness faded when they saw you, alive, hiding in a bush. now that the survey corps has found you. There was color and happiness once again.... // i hate this plot but it was all i got

(My last two requests have been angst so I would genuinely like to ask from the bottom of my heart. Are y'all ok????)

Word of warning: Angst, Missing reader (found)

Mikasa

•She had always assumed the most painful thing in the world would be losing either Eren or Armin. (Or both!) She'd already lost her mother and father but losing you was like a whole other level of painful.

•She'd always seen life as both beautiful and cruel but right now it just felt cruel. Like someone had stripped the world of its color.

•Keeps every single thing that you've ever given her or held in her bed under her blanket so she can hold it at night in a little pile.

•Cries while rereading the last chapter you bookmarked in your favorite book that was always on her nightstand. (Definitely reads it every night before going to sleep)

•Armin and Eren's moods are also drastically effected. People you probably didn't even know were coming up to Mikasa with condolences.

•If you had a living family all of your belongings that Mikasa didn't possess would go to them. But if you didn't Mikasa would add it to the growing "shrine" for you.

•They hadn't found your body and a part of Mikasa had held on so strongly for the first couple weeks that you could be alive but the surrounding area had been titan city and they found your horse without you.

•Mikasa would retell every memory she has of you to Eren and Armin (sometimes to anyone who will listen).

•She doesn't want to look like she's dying inside but she is and literally everyone can tell. (The entire Survey Corps seems to be mourning for weeks with her.)

•When she thinks no one's paying attention or when she's alone is when she'll really give in. Hugging her knees, pretending it's you and just rocks back and forth with deep heavy sobs.

•Around week 18 when the search had been completely given up on and everyone had begun to live normally again (aside from Mikasa.) There you were, in a bush.

•Jean had been the one that found you. Breathing, slumped back against a tree and behind a bush.

•Somehow you'd survived and here you were like a mirage. Except-

•Alive.. real. So so very here.

•Mikasa was already tearing up as she pressed a finger over your pulse. Then pulled you forward into her lap. Your body a little pale, but warm.. so so warm like it'd been every night she'd ever held you.

•Remember in S1 when Mikasa was holding Eren after he emerged from the titan and she put her head up to his chest then cried as she held him? That's you and her rn.

•Girl's sobbing so loud she's attracting the other Survey Corp members that had come out beyond the walls.

•Everyone else starts to tear up too as she just rocks you and cries into your dirty shirt.

•You can bet she's not letting you go either. "We need to put them in the wagon Mikasa. They need treatment as soon as we get back." Cool. She's got you in her lap, arms around your waist.

•Over her dead body will you separate her from you especially in this state. She's combing your hair back with her fingers, placing a hand over your heartbeat and sighing sweetly as she listens to your pulse.

•Please don't take them away that's my emotional support human. 🥺

•You can bet she's gonna follow you around like she's surgically attached until she feels like you're genuinely ok and that you're not gonna leave her again.

•Know that she does it because she loves you.

Levi

•Everyone else is balling their eyes out over your death. You've even got some of the toughest looking men in the Survey Corps balling like little kids.

•He's not though.

•At least not during regular business hours.

•Alone at night in his room he's got your favorite book in his arms. Tears spilling over his cheeks with little sniffles as he holds the pillow you love alongside your book.

•He makes your favorite tea every morning and places it on your side of the table before remembering but he can never bring himself to drink it or throw it out so it just sits there till someone else gets rid of it.

•Your laugh never leaves his mind. In fact it practically haunts him. He's all alone but there's that sound. It's always you.

•He's lost so many people but the first week you were missing he refused to believe it. He's a little harsher in his words as he speaks to people for that whole week.

•You can't possibly be gone..

•He finally stops making an extra cup of tea for you and when he does the normal chores he stops saying he's doing your chores.

•To everyone else it just seemed like Captain Levi was being Captain Levi. But to Hange and Erwin they could see the slight difference. (I'm betting Erwin is the one who throws out the extra cup of tea Levi made every morning.)

•On the 18th week of you being gone a cadet comes yelling boisterously. Panting as they try to speak. "Captain! We found something!"

•When Levi sees you something swells in him. His heart is beating a mile a minute. Erwin is holding you and for a split second Levi's resolve slips and he's down on his knees next to Erwin.

•"Are-Are they?.." Erwin nods. "They're alive, Levi."

•He doesn't let you out of his sight for even a split second. He's riding a horse next to the cart you're kept in all the way back home. He's in your hospital room every free minute he has. He's fluffing your pillows every night and placing your favorite book in your arms.

•He made you tea even though you're not awake to drink it 🥺

•Holds your hand and stares at your still face for hours.

•Probably cries late at night when everyone is definitely asleep. Whispering soft, You're ok.. you're ok's Next to your ear.

•Listens to your heart beat because he'll never get tired of it.

•He's so mean once you're awake. He's probably forcing you to take on more work but know it comes from a good place.

•Don't ever do that shit again. But with his frowny pout that's too cute to look at.

•Please don't leave him again. You're one of the few things he has left.

#shingeki no kyoujin x reader #snk x reader #snk #aot x reader #levi x reader #attack on titan #levi x y/n #shingeki no kyoujin levi #levi x you #mikasa ackerman #mikasa aot #mikasa x you #snk mikasa

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hauntedotherworld · 2 years

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wtaf my mothers still bothering me and she says she doesn’t really even think i have bpd (IM LITERALLY PROFESSIONALLY DIAGNOSED WITH IT,(soon as i turned 18) had the symptoms since 11 ) and she said because “im not ‘crazy’ and ‘impulsive’ because i dont do drygs and fck everyday i guess or idk what - she thinks i have c-ptsd .. because of the enviroment i lived/live in. i tried telling her i probably have both it has high comorbity but she knows jack cuz i have all the symptoms and just cuz what she ‘read’ on some probably dumbass site about bpd shes like huuuh nope not her. U DONT EVEN KNOW ME, u never have! i hide TONS from her about my real self/(well symptoms idk my self) thoughts etc (hell rhats why i have this so i can write my thoughts) but the fact she doesnt think i have it is just bullshit and she thinks the label of it means i wont want to get help or something im shocked rn fr

#she knows im diagnosed btw she just thinks. isny true because she thinks she knows best

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adotblog · 6 years

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Brave Part 17

Part 17? WTAF.

Pairing: LMM x Reader

Warnings: Smutty smut smut. 18+, wrap before you tap dudes. Swearing.

Words: 1600ish

Notes: this is the penultimate Brave, I think. I will release the Christmas chapter before Xmas eve. If I can’t wrangle all the plot into one chapter, I’ll do an extra for new year.

“Friendsmas is on for the 22nd.”, you announce as you enter the bedroom. Lin is reading in bed, wearing an old Heights tshirt. He puts his book on his bedside table as he asks “Who’s in?”. You start undressing as you tell him “Jas and Anthony, Jon for certain; maybes from Chris and Diggs”. “Cool, so what do you have planned?”, he asks as he motions for a cuddle. You snuggle in close as you outline menus, movies and secret Santa. He smiles throughout, occasionally kissing the top of your head.

“Did I mention that I love Christmas?”, you joke. Lin chuckles and reaches to turn out the light.

—————————————————

Jas has scored a booth and ordered you a Diet Coke by the time you get to your usual place. She greets you with a warm hug even though she only saw you yesterday at work. Burgers ordered, the chatter turns to Christmas. “Jas what are you buying Anthony? I am SO stuck with what to buy Lin!”, you whine. “We’re kinda just buying stuff together for the both of us-new couch, this awesome record player”, she replies. “That’s no help is it?”, she laughs. “NOPE”, you say jokingly. “What do you buy the dude who can buy anything he wants, and doesn’t want an awful lot?”, you groan and lay your head on the table. “Y/N don’t be so dramatic, you’ll think of something.”, she says.

“So I take it things are still good with Lin then?”, she says cautiously. “Jazzy, yes.”, you say, half-scolding. She hasn’t forgotten about that kiss and gave Lin the “Hurt my friend and I’ll kill you” speech the day after the now-infamous WhatsApp incident. “Just checking”, she says and then smiles. “You’re happy, I’m happy”. You give her a playful poke. “I’m happy. Practically ecstatic. Now stop.”.

——————————————————

So far you’ve interrogated Lin’s mother, sister, Chris and Jon about what to get Lin for Christmas. They’ve come up with nothing. Nothing. It’s a week until you exchange gifts. Panic Mode enabled.

There’s so much going on that when Lin is away for 3 nights on Secret Disney Business, you barely notice. You’ve hardly seen one another outside of work, days off taken up with Christmas preparations and seeing folk before they take off for the holidays.

He gets back at 1am on the 20th. You have had to stay late at work and text him to say you’ll stay at his place rather than trek the subway back at this hour. You’d only been back long enough to sink one cup of tea before he was home.

He was dishevelled. Hair messy in its bun, clothes rumpled, eye bags bigger than his luggage. He still grins at the sight of you crossing the room, though. “Mi cariña.”, he says, voice tainted by exhaustion. You kiss him like he’s been gone a month. He sinks into your arms. “I missed you”, he mumbles into your neck. “I missed you too, welcome home”, you answer. He murmurs with contentment. He pulls back and kisses your forehead. “I’d love nothing more than to take you to bed for a couple of hours but I’m afraid I’m practically asleep right now”, he says apologetically.

You reach behind him and lock the door, then take his hand and lead him to the bedroom. “Suitcase can wait til the morning.”, you tell him “and so can I”. He gives a tiny, sweet laugh at that and plonks down on the side of the bed.

You pull off his shoes and then pull him to his feet so he can take off his jeans. You leave him removing his hoodie and going to clean his teeth as you fetch him a glass of water. You change into pyjamas as he takes a drink, then slip under the covers and gather him to your chest. You stroke his hair and murmur that you love him. Within minutes he is fast asleep. As you bask in the feeling of having him back in your arms, you smile and relax into the mattress, soon following him into slumber.

——————————————————

It’s after 11 when he pokes his head around the living room door to find you. You’re in your PJs still, watching Scrooged for the millionth time. “Good morning”, he croaks with the most charming of smiles. You smile back, taking in his ridiculous bed hair. “Good morning! Coffee is fresh”, you point to the counter.

He plods over to get a mug and when he comes back to you he perches next to you on the couch to sip his drink. You turn to him and say “Merry Fake Christmas Eve!”, with a laugh at the end. “Oh yeah!”, he chuckles. “What do you want to do this chilly Christmas Eve?” He asks. “You?”, you say cheekily.

Lin nearly spits his coffee, and sets it down to laugh. “You’re officially the cheesiest.”, he mocks. You shrug with a grin “You asked what I wanted, I answered!”, you reply. “Young lady, I am gonna wipe that grin off your face…”, he threatens. “That’s fighting talk, Miranda…”, you turn to face him, holding up your fists in a fight stance. Lin raises his eyebrows at you sceptically. “Yeah alright, as if I’m gonna even consider resisting you”, you admit, dropping your arms. Lin’s posture becomes cocky. “As if you could!”, he says, grin on his face this time. “Honey..”, you warn.

He’s over you in a second, your back flat against the couch cushions and you squealing as he pins your arms over your head. “Dare you to try and resist me.”, he says, an amused smile on his face. “Challenge accepted!”, you say-though despite your extreme stubborn streak, you doubt you’ll last a minute. He pulls off your pyjamas and looks down on your naked form.

Lin starts with a flutter-light kiss to your lips, then your cheekbone, your neck. He stops at your neck, a trail of kisses laid at your collarbone. Then he runs his tongue from there, right up to your earlobe, light enough to leave a shiver. He smirks as he sees the goosebumps on your arms, then trails his thumb too lightly over your nipple. He groans a little as he feels it’s hard, and because he hears your breath hitch at his touch. He moves to look you in the eye as he challenges “I bet you can’t stay quiet, and keep your hands off me for the next two minutes”. You seriously doubt that yourself but you steady your voice to say “Try me.”. “Oh, I will”, he teases.

And so (though no one is actually watching the clock) he proceeds to tease you over and over, willing you to break. He rakes a finger down your side, because he knows so well where to touch you so that it’s halfway to ecstasy, halfway to ticklish. When he gently palms your breast, when he rounds his hand to cup its swell, when he flicks his thumb over your nipple…you bite your lip, eyes squeezed shut. You can’t help but arch your back when his lips meet your sternum and then his mouth is on your breast and it takes all you have not to breathe out his name.

Suddenly he’s gone, cool air against your skin instead. You open your eyes in shock and find him standing, hand reached out to you. “Time’s up.”, he says seriously. “No more games.”. You take his hand and he yanks you to standing. He immediately has you pressed up against him, one hand splayed across your shoulder blades, one on your ass, pinning your groin to his, where you feel his arousal.

He kisses you, and you open your mouth for his tongue, pretty desperate for him by this point. Breathless, he stops and says “Who the fuck did I think I was kidding? Bedroom. Now.”. You only make it to the hallway before he is pushing you up against the wall and you’re sighing into his mouth. His hands at your waist try to lift you slightly and your giggle breaks the kiss. “Lin, just…the bed!”, you laugh. He groans in frustration as you lead him away.

You pull him through the doorway so that his body smashes into yours and you immediately reach for the hem of his shirt. Your fingers play against the smooth skin underneath, teasing him as he had teased you. You reach up to kiss him but gently bite his bottom lip instead. You pull back to lift his shirt over his head and toss it to the side of the room. He dips his head to kiss you again as you run your fingertips up and down his back. You hear a little moan as you stroke your hands all across his chest and slowly, too slowly down towards the waistband of his pyjama pants. You flatten your palm and slide it down the front, smiling against Lin’s lips as you feel that he has no underwear on.

Lin pushes his hips up to meet your hand but you cruelly withdraw it and he practically growls in frustration. “Shhhh” you say as you pull his pants down. “Patience, baby…”, you whisper as you sink to your knees. He steps out of the pants and you discard those too. He’s looking down at you, dark eyes practically begging you to touch him. Never breaking eye contact, you take his hard length in your hand and very gently stroke him up and down a couple of times.

Lin bites his lip hard, “Mmph” just escaping his mouth. You raise up on your knees to just the right height and slowly run your tongue from the bottom of his shaft to to the head, ending with a swirl of your tongue that makes him gasp. He throws his head back as you take him in your mouth and when you flatten your tongue against him he instinctively grabs the back of your head, fingers entwining in your hair as you begin to bob back and forth. Your hand pumps in time with your head movements and in a couple of minutes he’s a moaning mess before you. “Y/N…” he says tensely, cupping your face and urging you to stop.

He kneels too, mouth on yours again, kisses fervent and hard. He pulls you towards him, to straddle his lap, lips never leaving yours. With a quick adjustment and a lift of your leg, he is inside you. Lin groans as your bodies meet and he begins to slowly rock up into you. You meet his thrust, both of you experimenting until you find a rhythm. It’s a rhythm that is brushing just the right place inside of you, leaving you gasping, and you have to wrap your arms around his shoulders to steady yourself. Still, the little bursts of pleasure created by each thrust weaken you enough that you falter.

Lin responds by holding you closer, one arm supporting your back, hand against the back of your head. The other is firmly on your ass, guiding you to grind against him. Fire starts to burn in your belly and you cry out as the initial stirrings of an orgasm appear. Lin’s lips are against your ear and he coaxes you “Come on, love”, and whispers kisses against your skin. The hand on your ass squeezes, almost too hard, as he slams home the last few thrusts that he knows will have you seeing stars.

When it hits you are squealing, shuddering, quaking against him. At the last of it, your back is arched so far that your chest rises to his face and his lips find a new home at your breast while you wail. It’s almost, just almost, too much and when the last wave ends you collapse against his shoulder, breathless and jerking. He murmurs in your ear as you try to pull yourself together. You straighten a little, manoeuvring to kiss him.

Lin stills both your bodies, he cradles the back of your head as he dips you backwards, laying you down on the soft wool of the rug. He’s still inside you since all he had to do was lean forward, and now he places his hands either side of your arms to support his weight. You’re barely composed as it is and when his thrusting becomes pounding you can practically feel yourself unraveling.

He is moaning into your neck, one hand covering your breast. You cry out his name because you feel yourself tightening again, feel that tingle. He kisses you before he lays his forehead against yours as you both curse at the same time. You push your hips into his as hard as you can, so close now. He whimpers your name as he starts to lose control and his movements become frantic, wild. You fist his hair as another climax takes you and you feel him twitch inside you even as you clench around him.

Lin falls on top of you, panting, shaking a little. Panting too, you stroke his hair and try to breathe normally. After a minute he raises up a little to withdraw and then lays beside you, pulling you in for a kiss. “Lin”, you breathe “That was…I don’t even know. God, I can’t…”. Lin grins at you “Uh huh”, he agrees as he softly shakes his head. “Damn.”.

——————————————————

#lmm x reader #lin manuel imagine #lin manuel x reader #rpf #hamilton rpf #hamilton imagine #hamilton fanfic

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roccoroks · 6 years

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VOLUME 6 DAG FILES GATHER ROUND FUCKERS.....ITS THAT TIME AGIAN! ITS STORY TIME WITH ROCCO!!!! its been a long fucking week, elevator took a shit, roof blew off and the Indians are back from cherrokee and all of this in one 18 hour period, not to mention i have a desk clerk that thinks he is supreme overlord over the internet systems and security systems and he is not. thats my job. i am to supreme pizza as he is to cheese pizza but he has yet to figure this out. anywho (count down to when someone photoshops dicks into that gif) to day started out harmless enough, bird chirping and shit, sun was out, it was like 80 degrees but that was the highlight of my day. see i was being called in because we could no longer remote view our security systems because Lord WiFi fucked up the routers again. 10:30 am i arrive at the motel..... IN MAH NEW TRUCK MIGHT I ADD! *phone rings* me: hello (bleeeeep) how my i help.... dag: YES I WOULD LIKE TO BOOK ONE OF THOSE ROOOMS, THEY GOT DAT JACUZZZZZZZZI IN EM me: (MOTHER OF FUCK COULD YOU TALK ANY LOUDER!!) YES MAM, WE HAVE THOSE (MEETING HER VOLUME EQUALLY AS LOUD) dag: HOW MUCH IT BE FO 1 NIGHT? me: just one second.....( rack rate of 59.95, 10 dollar fee for destroying my hearing in everyway possible and the 5.00 i hate you fee) mam? dag: WHAT? me: huh? oh it will be 89.95 (i rounded up) dag: last time we stayed there... me: (oh for fuck sake, here we go) dag: it was 29.45 and tax me: was not, it has never been that rate.....ever dag: it was to me: was not, i know for a fact it wasnt, our minimum rate is 49.95 not 29 (oh shit im being a asshole and jill said i wasnt allow to be a dick anymore) you may have us mistaken with another motel mam dag: i dont like your tone me: (i dont like you) im sorry mam but the truth is that our rate is 89.95, now if you stay 3 nights i can give you 10.00 off dag: (yells to here husband) HEY! RICKYBOBBYJIMBOB BASS HE SAYS HE WILL GIVE IT TO US FOR 10.00 OFF IF WE BOOK 3 NIGHTS OR MORE dags husband: SHEEEEEIT THATS ALMOST 40.00 OFF *heard in the background* me: O.o (you no math what good) dag: OH YEAH WE TAKE THAT, THATS A GOOD DEAL 10 OFF A NIGHT! me: (i seem to have made the screaming mongoose happy) ok i just need some info from you and we can get your reservation in place, when are you coming? ( i swear if you say as we speak and start moaning that the last person did, i will commit suicide) dag: uuhhhhhhhhhhhhh...... me: ( WAS THAT A FUCKING MOAN) mama? dag: HOLD ON, IMA THINGKIN (say it just as i spelled it) me: ........ *begins making the universal jack off sign* dag: oh! WE IS COMING TODDAY ME: (REALLY.....HOW CAN YOU BE THIS STUPID AND NOT KNOW WHEN YOU ARE EVEN COMING IN.....WHEN ITS TODAY!!!) *A SHORT SERIES OF QUESTIONS LATER* me: ok i need your zip code please dag: ******* (its cherrokees zip code) me: (fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.... you people always cause problems) ok mam i have your reservation right here and i will see you soon! *dag hangs up with out further conflict* -12:4.....something pm IDK- -there is a nasty storm moving is and the wind is cutting about 60 mph in straight lines and shit getting crazy up in hurr- *struggling with printer, trying to refill the paper tray* me: *grabs multiple sheets of paper* yes, take my load of white paper *wont fit, grabbed to much paper* me: how about now *still no beuno* *removes more paper* me: now? *begins shoving paper into tray at maximum force* *still to much!* me: I WILL DESTROY YOU HP LASERJET P1101W! *phone rings* me: *throws paper in fit of rage, paper now covers 95% of the desk* .... O.e FML!! hello how may i help you? Jill: rocco? me:.....what jill: the cameras still dont work, i cant see shit on my phone me:......no shit? that might be because i have yet to get to that problem.... jill: dont be a ass just fix it me: why does this need to be delt with right this moment, im in the fight of my life with this stupid printer.... jill: i need to be able to watch everyone work... me: ......pervert.. jill: blow it out you ass me: you would like that wouldnt you...*heres her hang up the phone*...PERVERT! *TURNS AROUND TO SEE A LARGE LADY STANDING IN MY LOBBY* ME: hello what can i do for you? Dag: yeah hunneh wez gotza reservation widjall (good luck reading that shit) me: oh ok, whats the first name .....*notices she has what looks like a cross tattoo on her right shoulder*....thats a interesting tattoo you got there dag: oh this old ting? hunneh thats from a long time ago... me: oh is it tribal? (she indian so must bee) dag: sweety child no thats a pork chop... me:..........(BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH WTAF!) *snicker* uh...how come *pfssssss* i mean to stay *choking back tears* what pork chop dags husband: *from the couch in the lobby* BECAUSE SHES A FAT ASS! me: e.o.....(ho god ho god ho god! i cant do it! i just cant do it) falls in the floor laughing my ass off dag: mothafuck i told you not to speak! bitch you want to eat tonight dont you! me: (oh shit!) snaps to attention dags husband: pfssss wtf ever you know who wears the britches in this relationship! me: (shut up dude, this bitch has the size and capacity of a small bread truck, you may never be heard from again) here are your keys enjoy your stay (please dont eat me) *dag leaves, phone rings* me: hello how may i help you? jill: rocco me: now what jill: moms dog is sick me: i dont care jill: oh and bobby is sick, you have to cover third shift tonight, we have 3 late reservations coming in and you need to take care of it *loud noise heard in parking lot* me: OH SHIT NIGGA! THE ROOF JUST BLEW THE FUCK OFF AND LANDED ON A CAR! JILL: WHAT?! *hangs up phone and runs outside* me: *see that part of the roof has blown off and landed on one of the maids cars* OH THANK GOD, its just marys car thats distroyed. mary: OH YEAH BECAUSE THATS SOOOOO MUCH BETTER! me: meh.....*goes back inside while mary rages out* -12 am now...things are quiet.... to quiet... me: *le derpin on the omputer* *loud thud heard from outside* me: maybe its just thunder and it will go away. *more more disturbing louder noises heard from out side* me: please be thunder! please? please?? *yet another loud noise followed by muffled cussing and a loud clang!* me:.....my suspicions are now aroused..... *phone rings* me: front desk customer: yes we are in 304 and there are some people fighting on the balcony. me: yes sir i will get right on that! - it was that this time all hell broke loose- me: *looks out in the parking lot to see not one not two but all, yes all of my patio furniture from third floor laying in the parking lot and just then i see a tv fall to the ground* HOLY FUCK! *runs out the door* *screaming that i could hear running up the steps to 3rd floor* "your a piece of shit! i cant brelieve you would smoke my last cigarette you boofalo fuckin squirrel shit eating ass clown" me: holy shit! porkchop is fucking pissed! *arrives out of breath to 3rd floor* HEY HEY HEY! YOU TWO NEED TO KNOCK IT THE FUCK.... *pork chop throws a ash tray at me, just as it passes me i hear it break the sound barrier* me: SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! *DUCKS* WTF! LOOK YOU BEST STOP OR IM GOING TO CALL THE COPS! *porkchop is now ignoring me and is attempting to throw her husband off the 3rd floor railing, yes they are hammered drunk* dag: "ima kill you, you sorry fucker! how dare you smoke my last cig!" me: *calls the cops" 911: 911 whats your emergency? me: yes my name is -------- and im at the --------- and there are two indians beating the shit out of each other on my patio 911: sir? me: SEND THE COPS! THE FAT ONE IS TRYING TO EAT THE LITTLE ONE! 911: ok sir units are dispatched and on the way me: *hags up phone and hides in ice room* -about 29 seconds later, two squads show up- me: oh thank god! -by this point the husband was locked in the bathroom narrowly avoiding being eaten, and porkchop was dragging out all the furniture on to the patio saying all the while " your ass can live outside just like that chicken of yours!" me: wtf does that even mean! - cops arrive on the balcony to find me hiding in the ice room and porkchop the great white grizzly bear destroying the room- cops- mam, your under arrest for destruction of property and DIP (drunk in pubic) dag: *grabs a remote off the table and squares up to fight.....i shit you not...* cops: *circling the enraged wildebeest, one goes in for the kill and nails a lucky blow to the back of her knee and she drops like a 900 pound bag of booze, shit and regret* your going to jail! me: oh snap! 20 mins later after filling out a report cops: ok have a nice night. me: wa....wait, whos going to help me clean..... cops: no me... *leaves* so there i sat, parking lot covered in furniture, 3rd floor could legally be turned into fema for government aid and 302 completely destroyed. me: *looks around......locks the doors and goes home*

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