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jiminrings · 3 years

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what happened to mc after that?? JUNGKOOK I WILL WHOOP YO FUCKING ASS

cold senior!y/n x stem major!koo masterlist :D

the aftermath of stem koo breaking senior!y/n's heart

"do you need anything from us?"

yoongi asks you for the fifth time in the twenty minutes you've been home, heart breaking from the inside out when you haven't moved a single inch

he is begging that the thing you need from him and jin is to go beat j*ngkook up

HE CAN'T EVEN SAY HIS NAME WITHOUT BEING ANGRY AT HIM!!!!!!!

anything. anything to atleast make you sleep in peace tonight.

or them honestly,, either way

your body's facing the backrest of the couch and maybe that's for the better, because that way, seokjin won't feel the need to cry looking at the coldest person he's known to be openly vulnerable

you're still wearing your jersey!!! your stained dirty jersey that you've been in for the past three hours and the reason that it's still wet was that you've been using it to wipe your tears all the way to the dorm

"no. i'll be alright."

you mumble for the fifth time out of the five times you've been asked, and yoongi just has to grapple at his fist because he knows that being frustrated wouldn't help

you are the fURTHEST thing from okay

to be honest, it was only a miracle that you told the two of them what happened in the first place

it was in between sobs that you asked them why they were friends with you and they couldn't be anymore dumbfounded

it was in between violent tears that you mentioned hyeji that seokjin looked for a box of tissues because you've been intentionally rubbing your eyes raw

it was in between heaving that you said that no one wants to go the extra mile for me that yoongi started holding your cheeks and trying to get you to breathe with him in his panic too

it was in between hiccups that you uttered that no one wants to walk me home and that's when both of yoongi's and seokjin's throats started tightening, the dots hazy yet aligning nonetheless

it was in silence when you told that jungkook said that no one likes me, and that's when out of the three of you in the room – you're the one who's the calmest.

"okay. i'll bring you a blanket."

yoongi leaves it at that, standing from his spot on the floor to walk over to the kitchen where the blankets cLEARLY aren't there

no one really prepared yoongs for this

no one really is

there isn't a manual on how to act when the dearest friend that you have is crying their guts out for the first time

he can't explain his close bond with you and he's always seen you as his platonic girlfriend!!! his platonic girlfriend who has a bond with him that's closer than a sister's, more understanding than a mother's, and the utter admiration more than a friend's

you r literally yoongi's (platonic) soulmate and he would die on that hill

he would rather subject himself to torture via having to stay in a freshman's dorm equipped with the de facto led strip lights everyday!!! every single day, than to see you like this :(((

"what do you have on the bitch?" yoongi doesn't spare his words when he sits on the kitchen stool next to jin's figure

the dude is sTANDING and that means business

jin doesn't feel a single ounce of regret fetching his work laptop and scrolling through the files and tabs he has on every single student on campus, eyes only looking for one lee hyeji that's contributed to your anguish rn

jungkook is atleast 3/4 in this equation and seokjin will get to him of course

no one makes his emotional support best friend cry and nOT pay the consequences for it!!!!

in another life, vincenzo cassano's character is based on seokjin and the events in his life that definitely happened >:(

"she's daddy's money. can't fucking believe that sHE'S representing the school," he sighs in genuine annoyance, but not loud enough to pique your attention as he turns the screen so yoongi could clearly see her headshots, "must be a diversity hire. every university needs a fucking bimbo, apparently."

you see,,, yoongi would've SNORTED at that but now is not the time!!! he is still planning discreet retribution to avenge you!!!!

jin lets yoongi look at hyeji's entire file, wanting to get even the smallest bits even if the information he's taking in is against his will

he'll immediately delete whatever he learns about her right after it's served its purpose

"just messaged the faculty groupchat," seokjin himself didn't imagine the words coming out from his lips determinedly, but he knows that he's willing to do anything for the sake of this, "been crushing on jeon ever since the start of last semester. philosophy professor thinks it's because he once saw jungkook lending her a pen when they were in the topic of soulmates."

jesus christ

now THAT'S just annoying ://

this

whatever this is

seokjin and yoongi don't know what they're digging all this information for

they don't know what this unspoken plan is for, or if they even have a plan in the first place

if jin were to tell the faculty gc about this???

absolute mayhem

but he knows for a fact that they'd hate star student jungkook easily within a tap of a finger

the philosophy prof would lose all sense of rationality and reasoning and INSTANTLY point to jungkook as an asshole!!! no questions asked!!!! no elaborations!!!!

"i could get jeon eliminated from all the academic listings he's in."

jin pipes in at the silence that he and yoongi share, both listless in this situation that they never expected to encounter with you

"i could always spread a rumor and make him unlikeable."

yoongi toys with the rings that he wears, a heavy exhale tearing away from him

they could think of a thousand other ways to get back at jungkook!!! they literally can

seokjin knows a contract guy who leaves shredded paper with his contract's initials written on red ink (for a base fee of three dollars, he can switch up the ink for you!!!) right next to their side on the bed

yoongi knows a guy whose modus operandi is to discreetly follow people, have subliminals playing in the background (for an extra fee of ten dollars, he'll use wireless bass-boosted speakers), and continue doing so until the desired message is achieved!!!!

none of the people they have connections to could employ the same amount of pain he's caused on you

there's literally nothing that could hit home with jungkook besides you.

but there's no way to do that and even in your state of anger and sadness tHEN utter vulnerability, you can't even really think of hurting jungkook in the way he did

because you know and yoongi knows and seokjin knows and everyone knows that you aren't the type to wish ill

you admit that sometimes you're unavailable but you don't want that to be an asshole-reason to make everyone else around you suffer in the same way you do

the people around you aren't your shock absorbers!!!! that's why you hang out a teddy bear on your doorknob when you're mad so that neither yoongi or jin would have the possibility to be caught in your rage

that's why you call for a break when your soccer team is out of their game and make everyone drink their electrolytes before they speak to you!!!!

that's why you have the old heart of your even older build-a-bear stuffie in your pocket, one of the only reminders that your childhood even happened, one that you'd squeeze between your fingers in any remotely anxious instances that you find yourself in

jungkook's words hit home and it put you into a spiral if you even had one in the first place

your parents divorced when you were young and it's just that,,, no one from the two of them wanted you because you were the reminder of the other parent

you're a place marker for when a commitment started and ended and god did it make you grow up quickly

your aunt raised you!!!! she's an angel and she's the maternal figure in your life that you'd always be grateful for

you love her all the same and as much as you didn't wanna relate yourself to your parents in the same way that they don't, the feelings of being unliked hit you ever so often

lol it's quite a dashing mindset you have but you can't see any other interpretation you should employ

you leave before they could leave you.

it's not really as dramatic as it sounds

BUT IT COULD BE

there's always obligatory groupchats for projects and you're the first one to leave it instead of awkwardly waiting out for the conversation to dwindle and then leave one by one

when you and yoongi argue, you leave before he attempts to get the last word in

when jin is about to ask if you want to split the bill, you're already putting more than half of your share on the table

it's a nagging feeling of not wanting be unwanted in every situation you're in, but you aren't all that sure of wHAT you'd do to be liked

the only thing you could think of are lunchboxes, and even that gets taken away from you.

does no one really like you??

you're shifting in your position before you know it and the lone sound makes jin and yoongs come to your side immediately, looking at you in concern

you're looking up and you could just fEEL your eyes are puffy and even the light's hurting them

"i need to sleep."

"o-oh! m'kay, sure. i'll carry you to bed, let's go," seokjin wastes no time in responding, about to hook his arms underneath you when you repeat yourself again

you only chuckle but it's the driest and most painful they've ever heard, wincing when they can hear how breathless it was

"no. i mean i need to sleep."

jin blinks once

yoongi blinks twice

right

they get it now

you don't want to sleep, and you really can't, but you need it

"i'll get it!!" jin volunteers to grab what you need, leaving yoongi with you

oh god you could fEEL that he's going to cry

what a big baby ://

seokjin comes bearing the joint :D

he's about to light it for you because he knows that three specific short hits would lull you to slumber then knock you out cold for like a day lmao

he minored in chemistry actually but he cAN'T explain shit on why that's your body's reaction

you're all-good for literally anything besides three short hits lmao

yoongi was about to scold jin because he lights it and tHEN he's the one who takes the first drag, but there's an assuring wave of his hand

how romantic

jin just blew you a heart

they can't get anything from you besides the slight crinkling from your eyes but they don't mind at all — your eyes are atleast one degree less sad

you take your turn and even pass it to yoongi but he rEFUSES,,,,, not the least bit dejected that he decided not to because he wants to watch over you instead and not see every inanimate object with cartoon eyes on them while watching over you

"bake her a cookie if in case she suddenly gets hungry in the middle of her sleep. sneak a carrot in it or something," jin reminds yoongi and he's sERIOUS about the recipe, holding you in tow as he makes the way to your room

yoongi's about to break out the bowls, freezing in his steps when he hears the doorbell frantically ring

oh god

the ONE time that they didn't plug the door with a wet towel and now it's probably the hall manager outside about to do an inspection

that is not..... the hall monitor

that is a fucking asshole

jungkook's been pacing on his heels, his knocking loud enough to wake up the entire hallway at this point

he's SWEATING and he's not even wearing his hoodie

the door finally opens and the words start tumbling out of his mouth

"good evening. i-i wanna explain myself and-..."

that is not,,,,, you

it's his senior that he's disrespected probably too many times

yoongi leans to the door, a sickeningly sweet smile on his face that the junior's never seen before

"you ever had a sandwich before, jungkook?"

"w-what?"

the younger boy stammers, his eyes following yoongi's actions of looking behind him out of worry and then going outside to join him by closing the door softly without noise

yoongi only snorts, not even sure if he's up for conversation

"hyeji's never packed you a sandwich before?"

jungkook pales at the mention, mouth drying when he sees yoongi bring up the soft smile that doesn't comfort him at all

"the one that's all knuckle?"

#WHAT DO WE THINK BESTIES :D WHAT'S HAPPENING NEXT #stem koo #jungkook imagine #jungkook imagines #jungkook oneshot #jungkook oneshots #jungkook drabbles #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #jungkook au #jungkook angst #jungkook angst imagine

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drawbauchery · 4 years

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Crisis to Crisis

(fic by cartoons-tothemoon)

Skipper was beginning to think that his reputation was being tarnished.

Well, maybe not completely disregarded, but his men have been giving him more back-talk lately. He’d have to fix that.

Somehow.

He was beginning to wonder how he even kept such a tight lid on his squadron in the first place.

Rico was a loose cannon, but vaguely amiable as long as he got his daily dosage of kaboom, Julien, and sushi, one of the three anyhow…

…Kowalski was incredibly smart, but he was also incredibly dumb and emotional which practically necessitated a sturdy rock in his eternal stormy sea of…whatever emotional labor he was going through this week. Someone to guide him, and earn approval from.

Private probably only listened to him to be nice, now that he thinks about it. Or because Skipper has this natural confidence that gives him his natural leadership qualities, but Private seemed to be incredibly cheeky as of late, and Skipper could only imagine why.

He had become more confident as of late, ever since Julien gave him his old clothes that seemed to frame his body better than his old, more conservative wardrobe.

Not that Skipper ever thought of what clothing frames anybody’s body for that matter. Except maybe Miss Kitka’s because, uh, wow…

He was just being objective, is all.

That’s an important trait in a field agent, after all, the ability to take an objective perspective on anything that may pertain to the scenario at hand, be that Geneva Convention-violating torture, or Private’s soft stomach, that peeked out of most of the clothing he wore nowadays.

Look, with “King” Julien around, business had slowed down a bit. Sure, they tangled with Blowhole and Savio every once in a while, but at the moment, that was more on a weekly basis than every other day like it used to be. This gave Skipper a lot of time to think, when he wasn’t washing dishes or entertaining the day’s newest crisis.

Today he was doing both.

“Guys look, Rico’s on the telly!” Private cried, in his “it just has to be fake” British accent.

Speaking of his aforementioned majesty, apparently he had run out of ibuprofen. Skipper didn’t know why it was such a big deal, but he didn’t get half the things Ringtail did anyhow. He was an enigma, but like, annoying about it.

On Rico’s side of things, Kowalski, Private, and him watched entranced as Rico went from simply robbing the three drug stores closest to their base to stealing a delivery truck. A highly specific delivery truck, at that. Then puppies got thrown into the picture.

“Puppies?” Private exclaimed, his voice filled with pure joy at such a thought. Just think of it! 90 puppies! Retrievers, labs, beagles, corgis, huskies…He’d be practically drowning in the fluff! It would be sublime!

However, Kowalski and Skipper’s thoughts were elsewhere. Very clearly elsewhere.

For one, Kowalski was wondering what to do with that many dogs. There’s no way their base would have enough space for 90 dogs. He wouldn’t even say they have enough room for two, though.

Skipper, however…He was there, but his mind was elsewhere. He’d finally noticed what Private was wearing.

It was a sleek black outfit, comprised of leggings and a thick black sweater that allowed for his pudgy tummy to peek out.

Surely, Skipper could be honest with himself within the space of his own mind, right? He doesn’t have to mask, or pretend, or fear what he thinks here, really, right? No one would judge him here.

Private….Looks cute.

Yeah, that’s an understatement. That’s literally a combat strategy of his, being cute. But he wasn’t cute to Skipper the same way that a puppy was, or at least, not only as cute, he was…he is…

He likes Private. Of course he does, who doesn’t? Even Savio has a soft spot for the guy, though that may be more sus than anything else. He likes Private, but he’s come to the understanding that he may…Like him more than most may.

“Like him more than most may?” Jesus christ, is he repressed. Normally you’d assume that being a secret agent just does that to you, but, they run a very non-standard operation as is. He runs a very non-standard operation, where one of his worst enemies would leave him alone if they ate lunch together every blue moon and their landlady can enter their heavily booby-trapped lair with the raw energy of pure spite.

Everyone likes Private, but nobody likes Private in the same way Skipper does. Probably. Again, Savio seems sus.

But he probably already knew all this. He’s probably went through this whole tirade three times this week, as he bounced from crisis to crisis.

He did this on Tuesday when Private discovered knee-high socks. He’s sure he’ll do it again soon.

As this crisis went on, apparently after ending up on national television, Rico thought it was the perfect time to call. Kowalski briefly admonished him for being on his phone while driving, but, after Private pointed out that he’d already robbed a drug store and stole a truck AND stole 3 litters worth of puppies, he might as well roll up to the liquor store and really test his luck.

Well, he didn’t say liquor store, but Skipper sure read into that. Skipper was the one who’s usually say something as deadpan and snarky as that, and the fact that he hadn’t so much as laughed probably said something to the men around him, which only served to heighten his anxieties.

“Yeah, Rico, we saw you. Sick flip off that ramp, by the way.”

Skipper swore that he could feel heat rising to his cheeks as Private giggled after that sentiment, and he felt Kowalski’s eyes burning into his head. Not glaring or critical or anything, but they were there, and they were hard to ignore.

“Oh…no, you have to return the puppies. I checked, we can’t keep any.” His tone soon turned mournful. Private was so expressive. He should be an open book. Surely Skipper would know if Private…

Private laughed again. “Haha! No, Rico. That’s illegal, and you know it.”

Kowalski had finally caught onto the game, and the glare had returned. It wasn’t a scornful or judgmental one, but, a tired one. A tired glare that was less “I hope you burn to ash due to the pure heat of my gaze” and more, “we can’t keep doing this.”

“I’m shaming you.”

Skipper, the fearless leader, seemed to buckle under his gaze, as he turned his head to the side, and avoided his eyes.

“I know.” He murmured.

(I literally CANNOT find any Skipper X Private fics on the web…So I wrote one myself. Please give me some recs, and I will write more! This is your devil’s bargain, Shads. Live or not read penguin fanfiction, make your choice.)

#cartoons-tothemoon #submission #fics #pom #HUMMMMMMMM M M OKAY #gjsgfsjdfldks i read this with company over and i couldn't freak out like i wanted buT AHH #i have such trouble writing skipper but here is being perfectly portrayed!!#repressed confused and even more repressed!#i love the exchange with kowalski at the end #'we can't keep doing this' well ok everything went from silly to sad in an instant #but your writing style is so cute!#pining is like my favorite thing to read about #doubly great when it's this repressed nugget #and i would actually tell you where to find all the skivate fics i've read #because there's quite a few #but that would mean you wouldn't write more #and for my health #i'm gonna need you to write more #literally based on anything you want #i'm too excited to think of specific things ngnskldfn #i can though if you want me to #thank you thank you this is great

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staliasjeronica · 5 years

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Riverdale 3.10 Thoughts *Spoilers*

- Jughead deadass tried to make us think that Archie was dead when we knew for a FACT that he wasn’t. What a dick lol

- FRED SEEING ARCHIE AGAIN. MY HEART.

- So… it took you being attacked by a fucking bear… to realize that you should have come home/stayed home because Hiram is a crazy, whiny ass piss baby? You literally lost your girlfriend for that but great job you’re the last one to know baby

- VERONICA SEEING ARCHIE AWWWW MY POOR BABIES

- The fact that Archie thinks that he wouldn’t get recognized without red hair… lmao dude sometimes, somehow, red hair looks like brown (some variations of it, anyways, I’ve noticed) so your “disguise” is shit but we still love you baby

- Why would Archie think that Veronica would never want to talk to him? Just because he broke her heart doesn’t mean she doesn’t still care for him, or a part of her loves him. Probably this “new, darker” Archie that no one wanted. Literally the writers need to leave Archie alone he’s so precious and innocent and that’s why we loved him! Hopefully when we slowly get him back to normal he can bring Betty with him and make her realize what she needs in her life/love life and finally the show can rise to a slightly better show.

- I don’t like that Varchie have sex because of Reggie but for everyone hating on her… fuck OFF man she’s currently SINGLE so she can fuck who she wants… I just feel bad for Reggie bc my poor boy is going to have to watch Veronica make this hard decision of who she wants to be with and ultimately it may hurt him. And I don’t want that. But I don’t write the show so yanno what the fuck can I do?

- He got a root beer float so signify that he’s not the same Archie anymore (I’m guessing) uhhh alright sure

- “New vacant look in your eyes…” Jesus fucking Christ Jughead can you ever be considerate, like, ever? At least Betty is showing she truly cares about her future husband (because we KNOW they are endgame okay we KNOW THIS)

- SO NOW THAT HE’S GONE THE SERPENTS ARE HELPING HIM? DUDE IF YOU WOULD HAVE SUGGESTED SERPENT PROTECTION BEFORE HE WOULD NEVER HAVE HAD TO LEAVE. I mean sure we needed to see a change to dark Archie (why the fuck was it a bear attack that did it though? A dream would have simply sufficed but sure) but wow you guys are horrible at plans if you come up with them wayyyyy too late

- I’m still mad at Jughead for sending Fangs deep undercover and risking his life to get his spot in the Serpents back. It’s clear that Jugrat has wanted to find someone to send in, but was too much of a whiny piss baby to ask, so he waited until he could pretty much blackmail/emotionally manipulate one of the Serpents and so he chose Fangs. (Also he did Choni wrong and Jugrat is dead to me until he finds some sense and ultimately ends up with Veronica)

- Can’t wait to see how much chemistry Archie and Betty have that Betty and Jugrat don’t

- I hate Betty but I feel bad for her about what her mom did. She’s so fucking mind washed and it hurts because the Alice we all know and love would NEVER do this shit.

- DADS OF RIVERDALE COMING TO INTIMIDATE HIRAM YES BITCH!!! FRED SAYING HE’D KILL HIRAM YES BITCH FP JONES NOT TAKING CONTROL/TAKING OVER FRED’S MOMENT YES BITCH

- Archie has to repeat Junior year? I mean it makes sense but I know the fear of not being able to graduate with friends… god lEAVE ARCHIE ALONE DAMMIT HE’S BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH

- REGGIE’S BIG ASS HAPPY ASS SMILE WHEN HE’S WALKING TOWARDS VERONICA I’M— HE’S SO FUCKING IN LOVE WITH HER MY HEART!!! He cares so much, she didn’t text him (because she was with Archie 😬😬😬) BUT HER PUSHING HIM AWAY MAKES ME SAD. I mean I know WHY it just HURTS

- “I get it, Archie’s back. Enough said” REGGIE FUCKING GULPED DOWN HIS EMOTIONS I’M SO SAD HE DESERVES THE WORLD.

- But also realizing that Reggie and Veronica were openly affectionate at school means that Betty and Jughead know? And they DIDN’T rat on her to Archie the second he came back? Mmhm ooc but thank GOD

- Oh yeah deadass forgot “Claudius” was a thing like he hasn’t been here for fucking years lmao

- See, this Hiram, the forceful “this is not a request” Hiram would have been a MUCH better villain than “I’m torturing this boy just for kicks” but wbk the Riverdale writers are on crack and can’t see/make a good storyline.

- We know FP becomes Sheriff which I guess will be good against Hiram and for the Serpent’s CRIMINAL ACTIVITY (fuck you Jugrat for not knowing how a GANG works you fucking idiot) but let me ask this… why the flying fuck aren’t they just giving SHERIFF Keller his job back? Like we know he knows how to be a fucking Sheriff so why are they going through the trouble of finding another one? Like what the fuck guys it’s NOT THAT HARD

- I wanted BARCHIE to study but BARCHIE AND JUGHEAD but I guess I’ll take what I can get

- FANGS MY BABY BOY. Thank God Barchie can be alone ❤️❤️❤️

- So because I don’t care about spoilers I already know who the Gargoyle King is (which I’ll rant about when it gets to that point) BUT IF HE KNOWS FANGS WHY DOES HE TRY TO FUCKING RECUIT HIM INTO HIS INNER CIRCLE LMAO *ps my baby Fangs looks so scared! If Jughead fucks this up and gets Fangs hurt I’m sacrificing him to Hiram myself

- “There he is” BITCH YOU CAN’T TELL ME BETTY IS SO FUCKING IN LOVE WITH ARCHIE LIKE WE NEVER SEE HIS THIS TRULY HAPPY!!!

- AWWW A WELCOME HOME/STUDY PARTY. Poor Reggie having to hear Veronica call him lover… but the angst… I’m here for it

- VERONICA SINGING IN SPANISH BITCHHH FUCK ME UP SHE SOUNDS SO FUCKING GOOD! But being able to see Reggie behind Archie reacting to Varchie is so angsty and incredible

- Archie having an anxiety attack my poor child LEAVE HIM ALONE JESUS CHRIST WRITERS

- See, this mind game shit that Hal does to Betty is where they should have gone. I mean, only that not the sudden ass black hood shit. THIS is a good villain. But they ruined it before it even began.

- Both Veronica and Reggie have a point. He’s different, but Reggie sweetie you gotta realize that he’s going through a tough time right now? I just know the writers are going to manage to fuck this up. God can’t they do ANYTHING right

- “You got some pretty big coconuts” ummmm what the fuck I didn’t realize Reggie was Cheryl… But again having Reggie get mad at Archie for having an anxiety attack is ooc and NOT THE FUCK IT Literally it pisses me the fuck off that they’re doing this to Reggie like sure he can be jealous but this is over the top and NOT IT THANK YOU NEXT

- “Hiram… no.” BITCH YES HERMIONE! Also I didn’t realize she had to appoint a sheriff but that still doesn’t answer my question as to WHY NOT SHERIFF KELLER? But the fact that she chooses FP is such a fucking “fuck you” to his Lodge saying last episode that I’m not going to search out lol.

- Hal being the OG Gargoyle King… wow… they really can only use characters they can make us hate, huh? But if he killed back then, why was he “normal” up until Betty’s stupid, somehow inspiring speech? IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE RIVERDALE WRITERS BUT I’M NOT SURPRISED

- Alice comes in every Monday? SHE WOULD NEVER. I mean of course rn she’s not in her right mind but he literally almost killed her? We know Polly was trying to get Alice and Betty to forgive him bc of her time with the Farm but come the fuck on why would Edgar want his “star recruiter and source of money” to visit her killer ex-husband

- I love how Fangs is getting more screen time but it’s scaring me because he’s not Betty or Jughead… and also what about his bEST FRIEND SWEET PEA. But Fangs looks so scared my baby!!! If anything happens to him… well you probably read what I’d do to Jughead

-What kind of fucking twig costume is that lmao and how is he making that weird growling sound (and why)

- SO FP AND JUGHEAD ARE HERE BUT WHAT ABOUT SWEET PEA WE KNOW HE’D BE HERE TO PROTECT HIS BOYFRIEND BEST FRIEND. Also we are NOT allowing another kid to be branded. We just aren’t.

- oh nvm he is here lmaoooo it’s okay I’m good now

- LMAO EVERYONE SCATTERS BUT THEY LEAVE THEIR KING AHAHAHAHA WHAT LOYALTY I’M QUAKING

- So didn’t we LITERALLY see Tall Boy die? I could have swore… or is this some mandella effect kind of shit

- So Jugrat what happened to “no crime” yet you kidnap a man and beat the shit out of him… so if he’s breaking his own rules lets kick him out YES LET’S DO IT But wow Jughead is so weak he can’t handle anyone calling Betty a bitch… even though she is…

- SO JUGHEAD GETS TO PUNCH HIM FOR CALLING BETTY A BITCH, RIGHTFULLY SO, BUT HE STOPS SWANGS FROM GOING OFF FOR KILLING THEIR FRIEND AND MOST DEFINITELY FANGS’ EX BOYFRIEND? Does Jughead deserve rights? let’s not discuss because that’s a BIG FUCKING NO

- REGGIE ON A DATING SITE MY BABYYYYYY he passed by all those girls bc he loves Veronica just saying :)

- First of all… Archie no sweetie you can’t cheat on your SAT’s… and Reggie just fucking spilled the truth oops

- NO JUGHEAD YOU CAN’T SACRIFICE YOUR “BEST FRIEND” but of course it’s going to happen…

- Did Betty just call Penelope “auntie” ummm no. Also Penelope gets screen time but Choni isn’t here to take their SAT’s? That is HoMoPhObIc

- “Are you one of those sickos who fantasize about serial killers?” Betty… your stupid ass does realize you’re basically talking about yourself, right? I mean obviously not in a romantic way that you’re insinuating but that’s still who you are. You and Jughead get your rocks off to serial killers and trying to solve them even though you’re shit at being detectives… but I’m all for going after Penelope so whatever

- Oh jk so it wasn’t Hal… damn my rantings about it are now void thanks Riverdale lol

- It’s funny how Betty never realizes these kinds of things despite how “great” she is at being a detective. She never gets anything until she’s told about it and that’s so fucking annoying. if you’re going to shove Betty (and Bughead) down our throats AT LEAST make her good at it

- “Because I will never be coming back here again” lmao we know Betty is going to come back like next scene lolol but alright

- RONNIE CRYING IN HIS BED MY POOR BABY

- It’s a good thing they didn’t ruin Archie by having him angry at Veronica. By him asking her to stay with him, we been knew that Veronica is one of his weaknesses. ALSO VARCHIE SEX MY BABIES.

- Am I just blind when tf did Archie get that cut above his eyebrow lol. Also he’s literally me taking a test aha

- “Why do you think I sent him instead of going by myself?” BECAUSE YOU’RE A COWARDLY CUNT THAT’S WHY

- Oh poor Hiram got shot… oh no… so sad… But if they think they’re making us believe he’ll die… we’ve literally seen him on set recently so this bitch ass of course will survive. Honestly just kill off who you’re going to kill off already and get it over with. I want to know if it’s worth it to watch the rest of this season!!!

- They’re really going to regress and make Veronica act ooc by thinking that Archie would actually try to kill Hiram… what shit heads. We know he’s going dark and wants Hiram dead but he would never ACTUALLY do it because he cares too much about Veronica. But also I know that’s her father but after everything he’s done why does she care that he got shot? I mean that’s like Betty watching her dad die… she wouldn’t care. But then again Betty is a mean bitch so her heart is darker lol

- SWANGS FREAKING OUT OVER ACCIDENTALLY KILLING TALL BOY AWWWW BABIES! But also does this mean Swangs didn’t take the SAT because Jughead made them babysit Tall Boy? I mean it makes sense bc Tall Boy would escape otherwise but my Serpent babies deserve a chance to get out of Riverdale. I’d want SP to become a doctor and yes slightly bc of his role in Hospital Show

— Imagine Sweet Pea becoming a doctor, and flipping off every person who told him he was just some lowly south side scum, and telling them he made it as a fucking doctor like come on I need this, he needs this

- Jughead doesn’t know what to do mmhmmmm great leaders need to be able to think quickly

- “Fangs sobbing” hey subtitles… STOP

- Fangs says “okay” as if “we’re gonna throw a party” makes absolute sense. What the… fuck? Also I LOVE my boys we know this but they KILL Tall Boy and Jughead’s okay with it but Choni steals an egg from his enemy and he kicks them out like a whiny bitch? Jughead is homophobic and we know he only kicked Choni out bc they could easily take over his Serpent King title lmao what a fucking loser, Jughead

- “Veronica and I broke up” um you broke up awhile ago just bc you had sex doesn’t mean you guys got together again but alright

- So speaking of Archie being on the run and breaking out of jail… why is he able to come back as if that didn’t happen? Wouldn’t they have a warrant out for him?

- SEE BETTY VISITED HER FATHER AGAIN.

- REGGIE COMING IN WITH A “CONGRATS IT’S A BOY” BALLOONS. HE REALLY LOVES HER SO MUCH HE JUST WANTED TO GET HER FLOWERS AND SHIT AND HE WASN’T PAYING ATTENTION I’M—

- Sweet Pea’s “woo” do I need to say more

- So now it’s canon that my boys drink alcohol but I’m definitely going to say it’s only for celebrations and shit okay? okay

- FP why the fuck would you scare them like that? Like, they get arrested for literally nothing and you roll up like a bitch… that was cruel

- Poor Fangs he’s so fucking scared… he can’t even be happy that he’s a part of the Serpents again (but ofc Choni doesn’t? Jughead you’re so fucking—)

- No… no you’re going to make Archie a fucking alcoholic? Really? Fuck Riverdale lives

- “It looks like a cell in here” FRED WHY WOULD YOU POINT THAT OUT TO ME NOW I’M SAD

#Riverdale #Riverdale 3.10 #Riverdale The Stranger #Veronica Lodge #Archie Andrews #Varchie #Betty Cooper #Jughead Jones #anti-Bughead #Sweet Pea #Fangs Fogarty #Swangs #Jeronica #Reggie Mantle #Veggie #Regonica #reggieronnie

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stormsbourne · 6 years

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uhhhh with spoilers tho why was infinity war bad?

spoils + long post under cut

so I think the single scene that caps off how bad infinity war is is that thanos has captured gamora and forced her to tell him where the last infinity stone is. thanos, if you’ve forgotten, took gamora from her home – there’s an earlier scene that shows him grooming her as he kills half her planet – and spent her entire life pitting her and nebula against each other for his amusement and to “make them strong” in pretty much textbook abusive ways. but for some goddamn reason, the movie then shows thanos being a fucking whiny baby about gamora’s hatred of him.

gamora: [referring to thanos’ throne] I always hated this chairthanos: yes, I’ve heard that beforegamora: and I hated this roomthanos: you have said as muchgamora: and I hated youthanos: *sad baby face* :’(

anyway thanos and gamora are going after this stone. it’s about halfway through the movie at this point

double hitler red skull shows up as the guardian of the stone and also a weird dementor and tells thanos that in order to get the stone he has to sacrifice something that he loves more than anything. gamora starts laughing. she tells him that this is his just deserts, that the universe has put up a wall here to thwart him because he is incapable of loving anyone or anything so the stone will never be his. he turns around to face her and he’s crying. “tears, really?” she demands. “they’re not for him” doublenazi red skull says

there’s a very long sequence of thanos grabbing gamora by the wrist in a deliberate parallel to the earlier scene where he took baby gamora by the hand. he yanks her over to this cliff edge and throws her off, crying the whole time. poor sad abuse man. has to kill his victim. it must be hard. we see her fall. then we get a loving fucking 30 second money shot of her dead body at the bottom of this chasm just to really drive home how tragic it is.

(baby gamora is later used at the end of the movie once thanos wins to reassure him it was worth it)

I knew this movie was gonna be a problem before then but this was The Scene where I knew it was the second worst movie marvel had made.

in addition to all of this here are some other points

Thanos’ “sympathetic motivation” is stupid. if you haven’t been spoiled on this yet his motivation is that he wants everything to be “in balance” and he’s motivated by overpopulation, which is a racist + classist myth perpetuated by those in power to promote xenophobia. thanos’ goal is to eliminate half of every sentient species in the universe to ensure nobody is ever poor or suffering again, somehow, and also to ensure that the universe doesn’t run out of resources

oh but it’s ok! the genocide is random! no racial or class overtones here we just flip a coin for everybody! random genocides are the best genocides!

I don’t want to sound like one of those people who soapboxes about how narratives have to tell us the badguy is bad but I honestly don’t think the movie does enough to communicate that thanos is wrong and also fucking crazy. there’s a few people like “oh thanos how can you be sure” and “thanos we make these choices and that’s what matters” but almost no one ever hears his plan and tells him “you are crazy and that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever fucking heard, you delusional fucking weirdo”

he wins btw which wouldn’t be bad taken on its own but like, why does he not use his magical glove macguffin to make resources infinite and the universe an actual utopia instead of killing half of everybody

two significant, named characters die in the first 10 minutes before the opening screen even shows up, without any sort of buildup

the soul gem plot even without all the ooh sad abuser shit is such a fucking nothing burger, you have all these weird and intricate things that involved entire plots of movies and weird shit that’s only barely a gem at all like the aether from thor 2 and then you have Fantasy Trope 101 oh you gotta kill somebody to get the rock! you gotta do it! but it’s sad and this strange dementor not-hitler is here to make sure it’s sad!

the black panther cast is in it for approximately 20 minutes total out of the like, 3 hour runtime. (aside: I actually saw BP and IF on the same day and holy balls was that a high to low sliding scale)

the movie ends with roughly 2/3 of the main cast being turned to dust by thanos winning but because we know none of it is going to stick because they have sequel movies and this is comics-based, it just feels pointless. it feels like a waste of time. it feels like they dragged out into 2.5 hours what could have been done in 20 minutes

speaking of thanos winning it is exhausting to watch. it feels like the movie is kicking you over and over and every time it starts to let you get up a bigger dude comes in and kicks you instead. nobody likes to watch a movie where the villain wins over and over and over without so much as a setback. thanos starts OUT too powerful for anybody to stop so the entire movie just becomes him stomping all over everybody over and over and over again. we start out the movie with him doing it. we end the movie with him literally undoing an emotional climax moment in order to make sure he wins. oh you destroyed the mind gem? no big deal I’ll just rewind time zoooooop ok we good! I win! *little kid voice* you can’t kill me I rewound time and actually I won 10 minutes ago!

ok this one is kind of petty but someone pointed out valkyrie isn’t even in this movie and now it’s consuming me, you give ant-man and hawkeye one-off lines about why they’re not here but you can’t even be like “oh yeah valkyrie took some of our people and escaped” (we’re gonna come back to this in like 2 seconds keep it iin mind)

random annoyance: peter quill peacocking over gamora because thor is hot and he feels threatened, I hate peter quill

other random annoyance: thor your ship got fucking blown up, how did thanos only kill half your people, are the other half on his ship now?

I honestly just like, cannot fucking stress how bad the thanos and gamora shit is, how fucking horrifying it is, how we’re expected to feel sympathy for this man who literally fucking disassembled nebula to torture her to get gamora to do what he wants. oh it’s ok though. he loves gamora in his way you see. it’s fine. it’s fine! it’s fine. it’s fine. i t s f i n e : )

does the rest of the world just not realize how horrifying that is?!?!?!?!?!?!?

the vision/scarlet witch ship is like an emotional crux of the whole movie and it just. it just doesn’t work. it just doesn’t.

the plot thread with the hulk is probably going to be resolved in avengers 2019 since iirc bruce survived but as it is it feels unfinished and dangling

speaking of survivors we gotta have that man angst, we’ll turn a 17 year old boy to dust but tony’s gotta look sad about it

like fam I love tony angst but he has had ENOUGH jesus CHRIST rdj only barely wants to be involved with this franchise anymore anyway let him be free. maybe he’ll actually die in avengers 2019

it feels like it undoes a bunch of things from the previous movies which on one hand who cares! it’s all gonna be rewound anyway! but on the other hand FUCK you. the asgardian refugees are all fucking dead now. black panther’s cast exists for like 20 minutes and its setting is there pretty much just so the aliens can fuck up someplace that isn’t new york for once. rocket’s epiphany at the end of gotg2? who cares we’ve got snark to dispense! can’t have him act like he learned anything, that’d take away from his ability to be a dick to peter!

uh I think I’m out of steam for now but that’s my list of why I hated the movie. it had some good moments and a lot of the character interactions were great, especially literally every scene involving spiderman, but you could have fucking jewels and if you bury them in shit they are still going to stink

#Anonymous #infinity war spoilers /#asks

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