#while she's actively having a mental health crisis that no one is taking seriously | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ledenews · 1 year

Text

Jennifer Galownia: Singing the Harmonies of Dreams Come True

She takes all “things” very seriously because she believes it’s the only way to do all “things” the right way. Like her job. It’s in the medical lab field. Gotta get that right. And her music. Pitch perfect. A wife and a mother? Hey man, those people are her tribe. Her untouchable tribe. Get it, mister? Jennifer Galownia a cop’s wife, a Bridgeport resident ready to defend the village against its social media critics, and she admits she needs to do a better job of slowing down enough to record her family’s ever-progressing evolution. But, for being so dead damn serious so often, Galownia does love to smile and to laugh as often as possible, and she enjoys making herself giggle even if no one chuckles with her. An example? Her job title in the “About” section of her Facebook timeline is, simply, “Being Hilarious,” and her intro states, “Wife and momma trying to raise lions, not sheep.” See? Real deal, right? And then the Facebook Intro continues, “Sang in Washington, D.C. at THE WHITE HOUSE.” Oh yeah, she did that back in December 2018 with the other duo of The Ron Retzer Trio, and if not for her songbird voice and her due diligence while communicating with the Trump Administration, she, Retzer, and Bob Wolfe would not have performed that day in the West Wing’s Cross Hall. That’s because Galownia takes all “things” very seriously because she believes it’s the only way to do all “things” the right way. Jennifer and her father have lived in Bridgeport for several years. What instigated your current music career with the Ron Retzer Trio? I was performing for local fundraisers and churches with some other people around the area, when Ron (Retzer) and Bob (Wolfe) got recruited in 2012 to join the group for a wider variety. After a while, the three of us agreed that our harmonies with each other were something special, so we formed what is now known as the Ron Retzer Trio. It’s been a rewarding and beautiful relationship not just between each of us, but our families, too. We all get to travel together, which keeps it interesting. We’ve all been fortunate to watch each other’s kids grow – mine, Bob’s … Ron’s grandchildren and now his great-grands! You are angry and passionate about the current drug epidemic. Why? Drugs. Well. This is a hard one. Back in 2011, I got hired on by Calloway Labs to help start up inpatient and outpatient drug testing for a local substance abuse program due to new federal guidelines. It opened up a somewhat sheltered viewpoint in regard to the opioid crisis, homelessness and mental health issues as more and more people came in. I am not certain when it became more than just a lab for me, but my office has seen thousands of people over the years. I remember most of them. That August, I remember when staff came to tell me that one of our clients had overdosed. That was the beginning of reality. After news that he died, it seemed to happen every couple of months. I’d meet people at their very worst. Back then I’d go up into the crisis unit where they were, and eventually they’d work their way to the outpatient department. If they did well, and so many do, they would continue with treatment and therapy. But, it seemed every couple months, someone would disappear, get called back out by “a friend” or a family member and the addiction would eventually win out. I wouldn’t see them again. It’s also a rewarding job, meeting these hurting people and watching them overcome obstacles. They’re excited just to get clean, have their own place, and get children back who were removed during active drug addiction. It’s a long process, but I’ve seen many people come up and out of that lifestyle to become productive, professional members of society while implementing the valuable tools and lessons learned. So, I guess I do get angry, and sad, but I am most passionate about the possibilities for all of them to have a rewarding, sober life when they learn their worth. What “season of songs” is your favorite collection of music? The 80’s. They don’t make ‘em like that anymore! And the genre didn’t matter. From country, to pop, rap and R&B, I skated to them all! Galownia unfortunately, has a front-row seat for the ongoing drug epidemic. On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 representing the worst possible, how nervous were you when your husband went to work as the administrator of the Belmont County Jail? I can’t remember how long Stan served as the Assistant Jail administrator, but I remember when his boss resigned in the midst of the COVID pandemic. I wasn’t nervous that he couldn’t do the job, he’d been doing it for years anyway, but I was nervous because of the daily stress on him. We both knew it would probably increase with the complete responsibilities, due to the fact that it was his neck on the chopping block, even for things he wasn’t made aware of. Adding that to the COVID scare, having to know the ever-changing protocols for quarantining and how to delegate things to a dwindling staff didn’t make matters any better. I never doubted that he would be a great administrator, especially because he had experience in every single part of that jail down to the fire system, and because he’s a people-person and most know not to “take his kindness for weakness” as I’ve heard him say many times. He’ll let you go for a bit, then tell you why you’re wrong. Since bringing the jail through COVID and a stellar passing jail inspection, his retirement at the end of August has been great. He paid his dues and left the new guy a clean slate. He’s enjoying a new job, now not supervising anyone but himself, and he likes it. Jennifer has always been a singer, and she and her family have enjoyed traveling together for performances. Why do you give people a pickle? And now the pickle … I used to work at Stone and Thomas at the mall many moons ago in their housewares department. I would go over to Notions and help decorate the Christmas trees when we weren’t busy. I remember unpacking little pickle ornaments and being so excited to hide most of them, but still make them “kind of” visible. I got to tell people the story behind the Christmas Pickle. My maiden name is Faulkner, which is of German descent. I found it only fitting to share it with others who didn’t know. One day, there was a radio broadcast and I called in and was able to talk about the story of the Christmas Pickle on the air. So, I went out to Hallmark one afternoon to get a brand new pickle ornament that I believe may grace the Novotney family Christmas tree to this day. My daughter still hides ours every year, and strangely enough, it’s always her younger brother who seems to find it first. Read the full article

0 notes

foulserpent · 4 years

Text

ned has the most fleshed out history of any of my OCs. i typed it out over the past couple of days, theres some stufff missing but its over 2000 words as is.

here is neds life story prior to the oblviion crisis

ned was born in a village near falinesti’s summer rooting site. his father died before ned was born, and ned was raised by his mother and various farmhands in the community.

his mother was a farmer (though she had a shady past he was always peripherally aware of but never privy to), and they raised hogs and chickens for milk/meat/eggs and would be part of falenesti’s supply chain every year. niviiran also lived nearby, and the two were close friends throughout their childhood and adolescence.

“nasty ned” was in fact his birth name and a name he continued to use, though going by the latter part. he was never able to find out why his mother named him that. the name came in handy, given that ned is transgender and already had a fairly “masculine” name. he was recognized as a boy since he was around 10, but his mother was unable to afford the hormone replacement potions until his later teens.

when ned was 16, he started taking jobs at falenesti, mostly as a bouncer at its taverns. he had been a bit of a nervous child before that and to this day isnt sure why he chose that line of work, but it toughened him up considerably.

when he was about 20, his friend niviiran was being heavily pressured into marrying off to secure her family’s inherited silk business. niviiran saw this as the only chance to escape her emotionally abusive parents, and proposed the notion of entering into a (false) marriage with ned until she could get away. he agreed, both desiring to help his friend and hoping to benefit from niviiran’s far wealthier parents.

during this time, he had his first Actual intimate relationship, but it only lasted about a week. he had picked up a girlfriend at his job, but being emotionally immature and a bit of a dick, he thought that he did not need to inform her that he was TECHNICALLY married, since the marriage was fake and him and niv both did not mind. she left when he found out.

this marriage fell apart within a year, largely as a result of ned panicking and letting it slip while drunk at a gathering with niv’s family. this caused a huge commotion mostly directed at him (and was worsened by his continued panicking), and culminated in niviiran’s brother beating him and attempting to run him over with a horse as he fled. his leg was badly crushed and was saved by his mother.

though their marriage was fake, niviiran and ned had a real falling out as a result of this. both obviously felt bad for the harm to the other, but niv was very angry at ned for having let it slip and putting her in the position of having to run away from her controlling parents rather than leave freely. ned at the time was surprised and hurt that she was so mad, having taken her friendship for granted, and responded in kind. they separated angrily and did not see each other again after that point, and the way he treated niv is one of his first and biggest regrets.

after his leg was mostly healed, he decided he wanted to leave valenwood, at least for a while. he had developed some skill as a bodyguard, and managed to get himself hired to guard a merchant caravan that looped through valenwood, elsweyr, and cyrodiil. this was the time where he really came into his own in mercenary type fields, learning to use swords/shields/armor and how to hold his own against much larger foes. he also learned how to cook at this time, and had his first boyfriend. this relationship was not serious and did not last past ned’s contract with the caravan, but was significant and fondly remembered.

he chose not to continue as a caravan guard, and became interested in mercenary work instead. he joined up with cyrodiil’s fighters guild, and spent the next decade or so working for them. late in this period, he was subcontracted out to mainland morrowind on a longterm job as a hired guard. during this time, he met and began a relationship with yaksha gra-dralas, a morag tong agent. their relationship lasted about three years until ned’s contract ended. it was somewhat serious, but neither felt it was working out well enough to continue (and neds ass was too small). they went their separate ways, and ned returned to cyrodiil.

ned continued working for the fighters guild for an indeterminite amount of years, culminating in the events of oblivions fighters guild questline occurring. when ned was demoted for the death of the guildmaster’s son that he had nothing to do with, he decided that the guild was going to shit and that he was leaving. he resigned, and spent a few years hiring himself out independently as a mercenary or whatever else was paying.

eternally bad at settling, he became unsatisfied and decided to move again. he moved to vvardenfell, where he would live for the next 30 years or so. during this time, he joined their chapter of the fighters guild, took many odd jobs, and became more radicalized against the empire than he had already been (which was a lot).

notably, in the latter half of his time there, he met the disowned son of a hlaalu nobleman named ondryn. he and ondryn were assigned together on a longterm fighters guild job out in the wilderness, and began a relationship that would last a decade. it was ned’s longest relationship, and also the first one that he seriously considered the possibility of being permanent and settling with. he had loved all his partners before this, but ondryn was very special to him and brought out something much more serious in him.

it was this relationship that would also lead to ned’s involvement with daedric cults. ondryn was dissident against the tribunal and a follower of azura, boethiah, and mephala. this was just casual everyday worship, but the two joined an active sect of boethiah worshippers (at least partially trying to impress each other). ned had never been religiously motivated and believed that gods were not owed worship any more than anyone else, but was drawn to the “good daedra” for their seemingly mutually beneficial relationship with mortals.

ned was never the most devoted of boethiah’s sect, but through skill and luck he continuously proved himself worthy, and eventually was challenged to and won a tournament of 10 bloods. he was granted a title as champion of boethiah, and bestowed with the artifact goldbrand.

for a while, he proved himself worthy by continuing to maintain his position and defeat any challenger who came his way. but at one point, he was successfully kidnapped along with a fellow boethiah worshipper to be sacrificed to molag bal. he managed to free himself of his binds and escape, and came back with reinforcements to slaughter the rest of molag bal’s faithful, but it was too late for his friend.

this was the first decidedly traumatic incident of his life, and marked the beginning of a slow downturn of his life and his mental health. he was wracked with guilt at having left his friend to die, and was beginning to realize he wasnt really cut out for the whole champion of boethiah thing, rightfully fearing that he had lost favor for this weakness. in a stupid move (that would turn out smart in the long run in bargaining for his soul back), he kept goldbrand but fled with ondryn from the cult, ghosting boethiah and just hoping it wouldnt come back to bite him.

the blight was also worsening in vvardenfell at this point, with things beginning to get pretty scary. ned had repeatedly expressed desire for him and ondryn to flee vvardenfell, but the latter saw all this as just another crisis that would pass with time, and ned accepted this. around the time of the beginning of morrowind’s events, ondryn fell sick after an encounter with one of the ash creatures from red mountain. when it became obvious and undeniable that it was corprus, ondryn resigned himself to dying and asked of ned to help him be properly cremated and interred in his family tomb. all of ondryn’s living relatives had disowned him, but he still desired to be buried in his rightful place.

agreeing to this was the hardest thing ned had ever done. ondryn said goodbye and took poison, and ned was left alone to burn and lay his body to rest. he almost couldnt bring himself to do it, but eventually succeeded. after it was done, ned remained in the tomb for a few days, catatonic and just waiting to see if he would show symptoms himself. when it became clear that he had not contracted corprus, he considered suicide but became disgusted with himself and decided against it.

he remained in vvardenfell for a short while after this, but when his beloved guar (“jelly”) passed away of old age (mercifully peacefully), he decided enough was enough, and returned to cyrodiil. he had a couple of brief encounters with a person who he would later learn was the nerevarine, and left only weeks before the defeat of dagoth ur.

upon returning to cyrodiil, he was in a rut. he had become near-broke, had newly acquired mental health issues, had a constant fear of boethiah sending prospective champions after him, and had nothing to do with himself. he settled into the imperial city waterfront as a squatter, and attempted to join the thieves guild, but failed the initiation. desperate, he began thieving on his own, sometimes doing jobs for others and sometimes just to have money to get by.

he took a very large risk in agreeing to steal and imperial watch captain’s heirloom sword, and was captured in the act. he resisted arrest and injured the captain, and the captain personally intervened to get him a much steeper sentence than he otherwise would have. he was put into the imperial city prison for a few weeks, before being transferred to the arena and being put to work as a gladiator.

this was essentially a death sentence, with no determined ending besides dying in the arena. he met shap-mota here, a bard who had been blamed for a string of brutal assaults in spite of being pretty unquestionably Not the culprit. the two of them had an intimate relationship throughout this time, and struck up a friendship, but they were under a painful and unusual situation and it could not really be called a romantic relationship.

for a time, ned was managing well. he managed to get some serious dirt on one of the guard captains and effectively blackmail him. he wasnt able to secure his freedom, but was able to force his hand into giving him his sword (goldbrand) back and giving him and shap a bit more leeway as prisoners. having goldbrand is likely the only reason he survived and won all his death matches, but his uncooperativeness and humiliation of a few of the guards gave them a massive grudge.

after about 5 months, shap narrowly won a match, but had been gravely injured in the process and collapsed. ned last saw him being dragged out from the arena, and never saw anything that would indicate shap being alive, and had to assume he died. things got really bad after that, with ned having no buffer against the ire of the guards and other prisoners. he lost his blackmailing opportunity (though was allowed to keep goldbrand, due to the crowd loving his signature flaming sword) and was given absolutely terrible treatment from his captors.

he became incredibly disgusted with being forced to kill other prisoners and enraged at challengers who fought willingly. as he rose in the ranks, he was kept going by not knowing what else to do and by a grim satisfaction at murdering people who willingly chose to be combatants. this was very traumatizing.

ned achieved champion rank, though he almost lost his final match. his opponent disarmed him and instead of killing him, gloated and slashed at him with goldbrand, ripping his abdomen open and giving him his biggest scars. ned managed to take him by surprise and kill his opponent before passing out from shock and blood loss.

he woke up a day later to find he had been released. evidently, no one expected him to live that long and it was decided he might as well be let go. ned already had trauma to deal with, but was suddenly experiencing very unusual and new symptoms (which was ptsd and an anxiety disorder) that he had no idea what to do with. he was also convinced that his challenger was there on boethiah’s behalf, though he cant be sure of that, and the fear of being killed and left to the daedra who probably owned his soul took hold of him again.

he had been given some prize money, and he collected himself and left. he moved into kvatch, and rented an attic from some dunmer in exchange for proofreading his stupid “opus” about him killing all the cliff racers or whatever.

ned spent a few years in a haze, kind of just drifting through life, getting into shit here and there. there was an “incident” involving the towns blacksmith at the general store, and he was not arrested but was considered to owe a favor to the town’s watch captain due to the chaotic results that few dare to speak of.

this favor was finally cashed in when kvatch was burnt down by mehrune’s dagons invasion force and they needed someone to try and close the gate, and lo and behold here comes ned “owes a favor” nasty and some argonian from out of town who just kind of wandered in.

58 notes · View notes

magneticmage · 3 years

Text

I'm in the mood for it (plus it's Disability Pride month) so here are all my disabled ocs;

Under cut for Length

Additional Notes; Please do not judge me too harshly. While I have a few of these disabilities (most notably PTSD, anxiety-depression, and visual impairments) myself and personally know people who have some others, every person and their experiences are unique. I try my best to give these disabilities the space and gravity they deserve in my writing, but it is difficult for ones that I have no personal experience with. In addition, I am still learning and only human. If I have done something wrong or phrased something badly at any point now or in the future, let me know and I will do my best to fix it/do better. Apologies for the abrupt disclaimer but there we go.

Anyways!!!!

On the the List!

RWBY;

Selene Argent=Has PTSD, one prosthetic eye, and some physical scars on face and torso. I'd safely say she counts.

Baldur's Gate;

Sable Shades=Is an albino and was rendered mute at birth. He sunburns extremely easily and is near-sighted. He also often communicates through sign language.

Roan Roarke=Beyond some minor PTSD symptoms (increased anxiety and stress levels) surrounding fires, he's perfectly fine.

Faenerys Elendir=Has PTSD from her time imprisoned particular involving whips and brands as torture implements.

Rune Mistsea=Post-lycanthropy encounter, he is notably more short-tempered around the full moon along with a distinct craving for meat and violence. Otherwise, nothing else of note.

Lucine Mistsea=Beyond a notable paranoia issue when it comes to demons and cambions (but not fellow tieflings), she's fine.

Lyr(e/a/an) Lovemoor=Autistic. Too much light and noise and surrounding activity is draining and makes them short-tempered with occasional blowouts/meltdowns. Has a Thing about certain textures (very much hates slimes and oozes and squishy things for this reason, likes silks and furs and leathers). Has a fascination for all things shiny and glittery (gems and currencies are a special interest). Also often fidgets with their daggers.

Saga Musehart=Was rendered blind due to torture at the hands of prison guards. She also lost a hand (initially) and a forearm (later due to infection) and wears a prosthesis.

Cei Gloomdraft=Autistic or at least neurodivergent of some kind. Might have some ADHD, it's not quite clear yet in the few pieces I've written so far to help develop her.

Mass Effect;

(Solo Shepard Canon)

Annette Shepard=Has some lingering PTSD symptoms from surviving a raid on Mindoir, then thresher maws in Akuze, and then being spaced at the beginning in Mass Effect 2. She also suffers from some survivor's guilt Post-Virmire due to losing Ashley, and then all of Mass Effect 3 puts such a huge burden on her that she's fighting off some severe depression and despair from all the losses. She's got an old war injury in her shoulder that acts up from time to time, occasionally making her biotics misfire a barrier. She's on immuno-suppressant drugs to prevent her body from rejecting her Cerberus-added cybernetic implants and upgrades, and also some antidepressants for depression and anxiety symptoms for said lingering PTSD symptoms. Girl's a walking disaster-fire mentally but she keeps on surviving and she still looks for the good in life as it comes, so there's that.

(Shepard Siblings)

Joanna=Like Roscoe and Riley, she's also on immuno-suppressants to prevent cybernetic implant rejection. Notably, she's the most well-adjusted of the three mentally, although the losses and struggles of ME 3 start to take their toll due to depression. She spends an awkward month on the Normandy adjusting to the new medication while adjusting the amounts needed. In addition, she also goes through a whole existential crisis come the Citadel DLC about if she is really Joanna Shepard or a clone (which Riley, Roscoe, and the Normandy crew snap her out of). Her survivor's guilt is much less pronounced than Riley's though she does start the early stages of a martyr complex (it's a source of frequent and well-humored debate between Riley and Roscoe if it was already there or not) about the of Thane's death. But she does her best and keeps on going.

Roscoe=Definitely mentally ill. He's got some trauma around abandonment that starts to get fully addressed around ME 2 in part due to Jack and Miranda and is mostly resolved around ME 3 though naturally scars remain. It often manifests as anger, depression, and even callousness. Like Joanna's and Riley, he is on immuno-suppressants to prevent the potential rejection of his cybernetics. He's also got an old wound from Torfan in his abdomen that acts up under stronger pressures like before a rainstorm or different gravity levels as well as drastic temperature changes such as cold (he HATES Noveria for that reason in particular though it isn't the only one, man). Beyond all that, he's very strong-willed and gives no fucks to shit.

Riley=Much like Annette except a bit more well-adjusted due to a larger support network and character drive. Has notable flashbacks/triggers around batarians, thresher maws (this one includes panic attacks once the direct danger has passed), and hardsuit complications (they always makes sure that their helmet and everything is in working and optimal order). Has survivor's guilt from their losses on Mindoir and Akuze but between meeting Talitha and Toombs in ME 1, they confront and deal with it, beginning to heal from it. Even on Virmire with the loss of Honora and all the failures of ME 3, they do better at handling it though it still remains to varying degrees. Like Joanna's and Roscoe (and Annette again), they're on immuno-suppressant drugs to prevent issues with their body rejecting the cybernetics, with the additional ones of antidepressants to help manage some of their anxiety-depression symptoms. They also have some degree of chronic pain (maybe some kind of cystic fibrosis?) due to past overuse of their biotics that damaged part of their nervous system and occasionally causes it to misfire for no reason, often causing intense pain. Rarely and only if the pain isn't treated with extensive biotics-free rest periods and numbing agents in the form of more pills, the biotics will manifest and they'll accidentally move shit around, including themself a few times. This is most notable in ME 3 due to the nature of the larger and longer combat sequences with shorter and shorter rest times between. Though they manage as best they can with the help of their crew and family, it is still a struggle and they notably stop joking about retiring when they're dead and seem to consider it more seriously around ME 3 but save the final decision for the end of the Reaper Wars.

(Shepard Family)

Honora Hartford=She had an eating disorder when she was younger that left some lingering issues with her health but overall she's fine up until her death.

Riley's deceased siblings were overall healthy though Payton had Down's Syndrome and Brooklyn had ADHD. Harley had moderate asthma and used an inhaler.

Clover has anemia quite often and takes iron pills daily

The rest of the Shepard cousins don't have any disabilities to much knowledge though I am still fleshing them out.

(Andromeda)

Sara and Scott Ryder have some lingering damage from their cryopod accident and the Kett leader fucking with them, but otherwise they are okay.

Asher has ADHD while Shiloh struggles with a mild form of chronic fatigue. Evander, Rebecca, and Lucas are all able-bodied.

Dragon Age;

(Fereldan Wardens)

Lynera Mahariel=Dunno if this counts, but am putting it here anyways since it affects her overall health. Occasionally suffers from a type of sleep paralysis that is mixed with night-terrors. It doesn't appear to have a rhyme or reason as to when it occurs beyond perhaps stress and it's only every few months. However, it often leaves her completely drained for at least a week afterwards. She also occasionally has insomnia post-terrors as well which she self-medicates with sleeping draughts. She also has crippling period pains that appear to be consistent with ovarian cysts on her left side (though she later has it removed by Catriona once it ruptures due to injury). She also suffers from bouts of depression during Origins but that could be due to the extenuating circumstances she was under at the time.

Isemaya Tabris=When overly stressed, being exposed to strong amounts of concentrated Taint in a short period of time, or sometimes simply for no apparent reason, she suffers from intense migraines that are often treated with herbal painkillers and lying still in a dark and quiet room. Also due to a past injury to her left eye by humans, she has a harder time seeing on that side but is not completely blind.

Catriona Surana=She seems to be autistic due to her ability and predilection to hyperfocus on various studies (often Blight and magic-related but other areas do occur) as well as her obliviousness to social cues (she didn't realize she was liked by her suitors until Cale outright told her and by then she had decided she liked them already). Notably, she adapts a bit better Post-Origins due to Alistair and Leliana's influences but it still happens.

Cale Amell=Had some minor amnesia surrounding the exact events leading to his magic manifestation but later learned it was because he had set his eldest brother Azul on fire and believed he killed him as Raven helpfully supplied (Azul had instead faked his death as Cale discovers around the time of Awakening).

Fion Cousland=Briefly suffers from a minor alcohol addiction but has treatment while he is still in the functional phase courtesy of Catriona. Since then, he heavily monitors his intake and even helps Oghren get treatment for his own. He also occasionally has painful muscle twinges due to an injury that stretches from his temple to his eye and ear down to his neck on the right side. This is most notable in bad weather or when he is sick.

Barran Aeducan=Suffered from a superiority-inferiority complex towards his siblings growing up though it has greatly lessened with time and experience. It is mostly gone by the time of Inquisition though prominent traces still remain.

Tatha Brosca=She is hard of hearing and has manged to cope by learning to lip-read (not always successful, however, especially with languages she is not familiar with) in Origins and a pair of hearing "horns" designed for her by an admiring Smith caste man by Awakening. She often jokes that now she has even more in common with her Bronto companion, Salroka, due to their shared horns.

(Origins)

Vireth Mahariel=Suffers from epilepsy and often treats it with various herbal remedies, though it is not completely effective and large amounts of intense stress on his body make it worse. He also begins to develop cataracts around the time of Act 2 of Dragon Age 2, though the cause is unknown (presumed genetics or simply age at the moment).

Elthorn Tabris=Has a stutter speech impediment.

Alaros Surana=Unknown at the moment as I haven't written too much about him.

The Amell Siblings=Probably doesn't count but Azul gets motion sickness, especially on boats. Raven, Carmine, and Reed are all perfectly healthy and fine, however the latter two are the ones I've written least at the moment. Marigold has asthma that she treats with herbs.

Aelynne Cousland=Nothing comes to mind. She does have some old injuries (mentally and physically) she acquired from the attack on Highever by Arl Howe that color her later interactions with the family during the Fereldan Civil War.

Valda Aeducan=Has a notable visual impairment that is corrected with glasses, albeit there is nothing to be done for her slight colorblindness (she has a hard type distinguishing between greys, greens, and blues).

(Orlesian Wardens)

Dion Caron=Suffers from sleep apnea that is eased by a special breathing herbal-incense infused mask he wears as well as whomever in his group is on watch to check on him periodically to ensure he still breathes (most often this is either Victoire-Ainsley or Garam). He also snores and coughs due to this. Loudly.

Victoire-Ainsley Caron=Nothing of note.

Isenna Andras=She's an albino and so burns and rashes in intense light and heat. She also has a lame leg that cannot be fixed with magic and so wears a reinforced brace to aid her walk. This creates a noticeable limp.

Garam Kader=Alcohol makes him sick and he suffered from intense gender dysphoria before paying a huge sum to have an ex-Tevinter magister turned fellow Warden help him transition.

(Hawkes)

Jasper, Skye, and Violet Hawke are perfectly healthy. Albeit with some diet restrictions due to various allergies.

Gray Hawke=He is diabetic and so often has to monitor his energy levels to ensure his health. It's part of the reason he doesn't actively endanger his life like his siblings (not that he won't, just less often in comparison). He acquires a truly impressive diet regime and treatment plan upon becoming a nobleman of the Amell family, allowing him much more freedom than before.

(Marquises)

Aurore and Marcel de Serault both suffer from mild hemophilia. Marcel also has a lyrium drug addiction he is trying to break (and is actually doing quite well via weaning himself off it) due to a brief stint as a Templar while serving the Chantry.

(Inquisitors)

Armashok Adaar=Poor eyesight that cannot be fully corrected by glasses and later loses an arm due to the Anchor. He also lost a few fingers and some right hand mobility due to pre-nquisition injuries as a mercenary. He also wears a brace on his left shoulder. He wears a prosthetic eye and replacement arm.

Ransley Trevelyan=Like Cullen, he is working on breaking his own lyrium addiction from his time as a Templar and, like the other Inquisitors, loses his arm due to the Anchor. He had it replaced with a prosthetic arm for his shield side.

Paeriel Lavellan=She loses an arm alongside all the other Inquisitors, but takes the loss much harsher due to her archery skills suffering. While she will wear a prosthesis in battle or when hunting, she doesn't wear it in her day-to-day life, instead preferring to make due as needed. She also has anxiety.

Naranka Cadash=She loses her Anchor-wielding arm and gains a crossbow-and-dagger prosthetic one courtesy of her Inner Circle, much to her delight. She also suffers from some damage to her reproductive tract due to past injuries and is uncertain if she could have children.

(Inner Circle)

Kara Adaar=Beyond an intense hatred of slavery due to being kidnapped and almost sold when she was younger before being rescued by her father, she's perfectly healthy. She does require bedrest for her periods though.

Emilyse Trevelyan=She suffers from some PTSD from her abuse at Templar hands in the Circle, though she begins to recover towards the end of Inquisition.

Samrel Lavellan=Has dyslexia and uses reading aids and memory devices.

Pyrmar Cadash=He might have some PTSD from his Carta days due to a notable cave-in that lasted for a few days before his rescue.

#disability mention #trauma mention #amputation mention #eating disorder mention #my ocs stuff #mentions of addiction to drugs and alcohol #gender dysphoria mention

1 note · View note

phantom-le6 · 3 years

Text

Film Review - Justice League vs The Fatal Five

Hello all, and welcome to my first review on Tumblr in the wake of Facebook scrapping its Notes functionality, thereby forcing me to shift platforms (a practice I hope I won’t have to keep repeating). To kick off my use of this new posting platform, I’m reviewing one of the two new films I got for Christmas, or rather the two films that are totally new to my collection; the other films I got were better copies of films I already own. Anyway, we’re taking another dip into the world of DC Comics direct-to-home release animation with a look at Justice League vs The Fatal Five.

Before we get in the review itself, however, quick bit of house-keeping for anyone who hasn’t read one of my reviews before. The structure of my reviews is intro paragraph or two, a plot summary for anyone who has seen the film before and wants to refresh their memory, then the review itself. The plot and the review are both clearly labelled, so to avoid spoilers just scroll past the section headed as ‘plot’ to the one labelled ‘review’. Got all that? Ok, then here we go…

Plot (adapted from Wikipedia):

In the 31st century, Mano, Tharok and Persuader of the Fatal Five attack the Legion of Super-Heroes' headquarters for their time sphere. Star Boy, Saturn Girl and Brainiac 5 try to keep them back but fail. Just as the villains activate the sphere, Star Boy leaps at them and is taken along. Arriving in the 21st century above Earth, Star Boy triggers a boobytrap Brainiac 5 programmed, trapping the villains inside the sphere in a stasis field. Star Boy comes down in Gotham City while the sphere ends up in Metropolis. Star Boy discovers his supply of medicine, needed to stabilize his mind, was destroyed in his rough landing. As his medicine doesn't exist yet, Star Boy's increasingly erratic behaviour gets him apprehended by Batman and taken to Arkham Asylum. The stasis-locked time machine is picked up by Superman and brought to the Justice League's headquarters for analysis.

Ten months later, Jessica Cruz is struggling with the trauma of her near-death by a murderer who killed her friends, making her afraid to leave her apartment. To add to her anxiety, she has been chosen by a Green Lantern power ring and Wonder Woman keeps trying to recruit her into the Justice League. In Gotham, Miss Martian is trying to prove herself to Batman for membership in the League, but her inexperience works against her good intentions. While trying to unlock the secret of the strange sphere, Mister Terrific accidentally brings down the stasis field, freeing its occupants. Superman and Mister Terrific fight them, but Superman is wounded by Persuader's axe and the villains escape.

Star Boy's memory is jogged by a news report of the fight, and he breaks out of Arkham. The Justice League members compare notes about these mysterious assailants and discover they are time travellers; and from Star Boy's words, Batman deduces that they are after Jessica. When the three villains attack Jessica, Star Boy comes to her rescue, followed by Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Mister Terrific, and Miss Martian, who force them into flight after a hard struggle. In the aftermath, Star Boy and Jessica form a close friendship based on the fact that both of them are struggling with their mental health.

To find out more about their guests from the future, Batman instructs Miss Martian to telepathically link them (Batman, Miss Martian and Jessica) with Star Boy's memories, thus learning about the Legion. They witness a battle between the Legion and the Fatal Five, which ended with the capture of Mano's lover Emerald Empress and Validus; as there was no prison that could hold them in the 31st century, the Legion took them to Oa in the 21st century. They also learn that if Star Boy misses more than two doses of his medication, it will cease to work and prevent him being in the Legion.

Upon their awakening, the League receives an ultimatum from Mano: Surrender Jessica or all American cities will be destroyed by bombs created by Tharok. The first bombings start in Metropolis, forcing the Justice League to move out. Left behind with Star Boy in the Watchtower, Jessica is contacted by Tharok through her ring, forcing her to surrender herself to the Five and enable them entry to Oa's prison cells. Despite interference by Kilowog and Salaak, Emerald Empress and Validus are freed, and when Jessica fights back, Persuader cleaves her ring in two. Afterwards, Emerald Empress has her Emerald Eye of Ekron steal the energy of the Central Power Battery, and the Five return to Earth to recover the time sphere.

In the meantime, Star Boy discovers Jessica's absence and informs the League. The heroes proceed to the time machine's location, a secret US military base, where the Fatal Five force them into battle. Emerald Empress subdues the Justice League and then initiates her master plan to use the Lantern's power to destroy Earth's sun, wipe out humanity, and thus prevent the formation of the Legion in their time. On Oa, Jessica recovers her faith and determination, and by reciting the Green Lantern oath, she reassembles her power ring. Brought back to her apartment by the ring, Jessica flies to the base and prevents the Fatal Five from escaping back to their own era by bringing the whole base down upon them, killing the supervillains.

Superman, Jessica and Star Boy race after the Eye, but are too late to prevent it from plunging into the sun. As the star cracks apart, Star Boy sacrifices himself by lowering himself into the sun's core and using his powers to reverse the fracturing. In the final scene as the Justice League members commemorate Star Boy's heroism, they are joined by the Legion who have come from the future to honour their fallen comrade. Batman also grants Miss Martian admission into the League for her bravery.

Review:

This film is basically an original story not adapted from anything in particular, and although it is done in the style of the DC Animated Universe that originally revolved around the Batman, Superman and Justice League animated shows of the 1990’s and 2000’s, it is apparently meant to be a stand-alone narrative. Cast-wise, we get back the like of Kevin Conroy, George Newbern and Susan Eisenberg to reprise their roles as the DC Trinity (Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman) from the Justice League animated series, and well-known voice actors like Kevin Michael Richardson and Tara Strong also feature in this production.

In terms of character, we’re certainly getting a bit of a different Justice League line-up while also getting DC’s future team the Legion of Superheroes worked into the mix, primarily through the character of Star Boy and the film’s antagonists the Fatal Five. In terms of the League itself, the customary League core that is the DC Trinity is in place, but then we have no Flash, Miss Martian in place of the better-known Martian Manhunter, and Mr Terrific to add to the team’s diversity in place of using Cyborg. Finally, we have Jessica Cruz as the team’s Green Lantern, and it’s the use of her and Star Boy in this film that makes this film stand out from any other DC films, because both of these heroes are neurodiverse.

As fans of more modern DC comics stories, or anyone who has looked into this film’s behind-the-scenes extras, will know, Star Boy is a schizophrenic, but by the 31st century there is medication to manage the behaviours that this form of neurodiversity can cause, so it’s not an uncommon idea among DC’s writers to show Star Boy getting trapped in our time without this medication. During the Justice League era between Infinity Crisis and Final Crisis (not long before DC did its new 52 reboot and decided to stick to buying pre-2000 Marvel lore), the comics did in fact do this as part of the Legion coming back in time to bring back Wally West, the then-Flash who had become stuck in the Speed Force with his wife and children during the Infinity Crisis.

By the same token, Jessica Cruz is a Green Lantern who has crippling anxiety following a traumatic event, so she’s having to use a lot of willpower to overcome that anxiety and function like anyone else. Given that Green Lanterns are chosen based on their ability to overcome great fear, not only does it make a lot of sense for someone battling anxiety to be chosen as a Green Lantern, but it also very effectively demonstrates a much more positive and healthier take on mental illness in the world of superheroes. Granted, DC isn’t being particularly original in this regard; Iron Man’s alcoholism in the comics and his PTSD in the MCU show that Marvel has at least one heroic character that they’ve been willing to showcase as a positive example of what people can do despite being mentally different to others. Sadly, neither company has yet done a good, positive, accurate take on autism yet, but then if they did, I’d have less fodder for my novel writing.

Putting two neurodiverse heroes at the core of this film really makes it a great one to watch just because for once it means the neurodiverse characters aren’t the stereotypical crazed villain types and the idiotic stereotypes that stem from such misuse of the mentally divergent in fiction get combatted a little. Granted, it would have been nicer if DC and WB could have demonstrated this kind of pro-mental health attitude in its live-action film wing by not making the Joker solo film and doing something more akin to this film in its place. There is no doubt in my mind that DC and WB need to put more of the staff behind their animated films on DCEU projects if it ever hopes to seriously compete with the MCU.

Otherwise, the film is largely just a good diversion; well-animated, well-performed, but not a huge level of plot depth despite putting two neurodiverse characters front and centre on the side of the heroes. Hopefully going forward DC and WB can address that on some future film, either animated or live-action. For now, I’m going to content myself by handing down a score of 9 out of 10.

3 notes · View notes

healinghomegroup7 · 3 years

Text

What Husbands Can Do When Their Wives Have Postpartum Depression

When your wife has postpartum depression (PPD), which affects about 1 in 7 women after childbirth, you might feel confused, annoyed, scared, sad, worried or any combination of these. My husband certainly did. You might be thinking, "Why can't she just be happy? What's wrong with her? Aren't new moms supposed to be happy now that the baby's finally here? What's going on?"

Remember that PPD is a biochemical disorder which is no one's fault - not yours or hers. Although you can't fix it like you can a broken cabinet or leaky faucet, it's your job to support her as she recovers. Warning signs of PPD include anxiety, lack of energy, frequent crying, inability to sleep at night even when the baby's sleeping, low self-esteem, guilt feelings, appetite problems, irritability or anger, overwhelmed feelings, forgetfulness, decreased sex drive, and hopelessness. The normal Baby Blues should be gone by two weeks postpartum, so if she's still feeling weepy, she needs help. Or, if the symptoms are more severe than the mild Baby Blues even during the first two weeks, don't wait - get her help right away. You or she should call a healthcare practitioner you trust and ask for a referral to a therapist who specializes in postpartum depression.

Here are some pointers that will help you to help her and your relationship: (Excerpts from Beyond the Blues: A Guide to Understanding and Treating Prenatal and Postpartum Depression by Bennett and Indman)

Just being there with her is doing a great deal.

Letting her know you support her is often all she'll need. Ask her what words she needs to hear for reassurance, and say those words to her often. Things like, "We'll get through this. I'm here for you. I love you very much. You're a great mom. The baby loves you. You'll get yourself back. The PPD is temporary. I'm sorry you're suffering - that must feel awful. This isn't your fault."

Share at-home responsibilities.

Even a non-depressed new mom can't realistically be expected to cook dinner and clean house. She may be guilt-tripping herself about not measuring up to her own expectations and worrying that you'll also be disappointed with her. Remind her that parenting your child(ren) and taking care of your home is also your job, not just hers. Your relationship will emerge from this crisis stronger than ever.

Let her sleep at night.

She needs at least 5 hour of uninterrupted sleep per night to receive a full sleep cycle and restore her biorhythms (Chapter 11 of Postpartum Depression For Dummies* explains in detail how splitting the night can work even if she's breastfeeding or you need to leave the house early for work.) If you want your wife back quicker, be on duty for this time without disturbing her. Many dads have expressed how much closer they are to their children because of nighttime caretaking. If you can't be up at night taking care of your baby, hire someone who can take your place. A temporary baby nurse will be worth her weight in gold.

Get the support you need so you can be there for her.

Often a husband becomes depressed during or after his wife's depression. You can help protect yourself by getting your own support from friends, family, or professionals. Regular exercise or other stress-relieving activity is important, so you can remain the solid support for your wife. Provide a stand-in support person for her while you're gone. o Don't take it personally. Irritability is common with PPD. Don't allow yourself to become a verbal punching bag. It's not healthy for anyone concerned. She feels guilty after saying hurtful things to you and it's not good for her. If you feel you didn't deserve to be snapped at, calmly explain that to her. (Excerpts from Postpartum Depression For Dummies by Bennett)

Back her up in her decision- making.

If your wife needs to see various practitioners, take medication, join a PPD support group, stop breastfeeding, or whatever else, she needs to know you're behind her 100 percent. You can certainly participate in the decision-making process, but the decisions themselves are ultimately hers. It can be helpful for you to accompany her to a therapy or doctor's appointment so you can ask any questions you may have regarding her treatment. As a therapist, I find the partner's attendance useful and I encourage it at least once. My client is always relieved to know that her husband is getting support and now understands more about her situation and the illness. o Don't mention how much her care costs. She's already feeling guilty about what she's costing the family, both emotionally and financially. Without your wife's mental health postpartum, nothing else matters. During PPD recovery, couples may use up savings and take out loans - consider it an investment in launching your new family in a healthy way. Be open to doing (and spending) whatever it takes to get her the right, specialized help, not just whoever is covered by the insurance plan.

Practice the work/life balance.

You've probably read your employee handbook about your company's work/life balance program. Now's the time to make it work for you. Tell your manager what's going on at home, that you need to leave work every evening on time, and that you can't take expended business trips for the foreseeable future. You may see this practice as career suicide, but it isn't. Many of my clients' husbands have taken parental leave, and have made the effort to be at home on time every night during this difficult period. Federal law provides husbands job-protected time off from work following the birth of a baby or to care for a seriously ill spouse. If you're a domestic partner, it depends on the state in which you live whether or not you'll be covered. If necessary, go ahead and move off the corporate fast track to help your partner recover. Your physical presence to her is more important than the next promotion, and years from now, when you look back on your life, you'll never regret having chosen family over work. I hear over and over from my clients that they don't care about the big house (with the big mortgage). They just want their husbands at home. So, if you're thinking that it's for her and your kids that you're working long hours, traveling, and so forth, you may want to ask her what she thinks - you many be surprised.

Maintain intimacy.

As you and your wife walk the road to recovery, it's important to maintain intimacy, even if it's (for now) void of any sexual activity. You may be rolling your eyes with the thought of "just cuddling." After all, what's the point of cuddling if it doesn't lead to anything? But for her, just being close to you and being held by you is comforting and healing. She may also have some physical healing to do following the birth process. Remember not to take her lack of interest in sex personally. This isn't a rejection of you - it's mainly about hormones, brain chemicals, and life changes. If you're the one returning from work at the end of the day, make sure you greet your wife first, before you greet any other member of the family (including the furry, four-legged ones). The relationship with her is the most important one and without it, no other little person would be there (see Chapter 15 for other sex and intimacy issues). Refer to the first bullet for ideas of what to say to your wife that will truly help her.

There are also some clear no-no's to avoid. Here are a few: DO NOT say:

"Think about everything you have to feel happy about." She already knows everything she has to feel happy about. One of the reasons she feels so guilty is that she's depressed despite these things.

"Just relax." This suggestion usually produces the opposite effect! She's already frustrated at not being able to relax in spite of all the coping mechanisms that have worked in the past. Anxiety produces hormones that can cause physical reactions such as increased heart rate, shakiness, and muscle tension. This is not something she can just will away.

"Snap out of it." If she could, she would have already. She wouldn't wish this on anyone. She can't snap out of PPD any easier than she can snap out of the flu. Be patient, non-judgmental, and upbeat. With the right kind of professional help along with your consistent and loving support, your wife will recover and your marriage will likely be stronger than ever.

1 note · View note

thepropertylovers · 4 years

Text

How to Put It Into Words

How are you feeling?

It’s been a minute since we’ve written an actual blog post (though we’ve been active on YouTube and Instagram), so we wanted to check in here and see how you’re doing. We’ve been home for the last 4 weeks (though it feels much longer) and, overall, we’re doing just fine. We are in our home, with enough food for now to feed our current family of 5 (plus 5 animals), and we FaceTime with our families at least once a day.

We are not on the front lines, risking our lives to save others with the virus. We are not working late hours and devoting days and weeks to help stop the spread. We are not working in the food industry or service industry or anywhere else that has to stay open so people can still buy food or have it delivered to their homes. We are at home.

We’re at home taking care of our 3 foster kiddos who consume so much of our time and energy (thankfully and rightfully so), as they have been for the past 9 months. They have no idea what’s going on outside our 100 year old house, other than short looks of disappointment and confusion when we tell them we can’t go to the park again today because people are getting sick and we can’t be around others right now. Other than that, it’s business as usual.

But it’s not, really, is it? It’s not really business as usual for anyone who isn’t under the age of 5. Though we’re not directly affected by COVID 19 health-wise (and hopefully we never will be), it’s still a very different reality for us than it was a month ago. Normally very close to our moms, we haven’t been able to hug them (or any of our relatives) in 4 weeks. The kids are out of school and most likely won’t return for the rest of the year, so we’re watching YouTube videos of their teachers reading to them and other learning videos we’ve found helpful. They’re not able to play at the park, so we’ve been spending a lot more time in our backyard on the trampoline and on the slide PJ installed for them on our steps off our back deck. Our food supply is starting to show signs of not being restocked every week like it used to, though we should be okay for a little while, and are endlessly grateful for what we do have. When we take walks during the day, we are careful to move out of the way and keep our distance when we see others out walking towards us.

What can we do to help during this time? We searched our basement for masks to donate, but we used them all up when we were renovating our house a few years back. We can post about awareness and staying home and social distancing on social media, which we have and will continue to do. We are not in the medical field, but we know there are still ways to help. We can donate money and give to those who need it.

We’re in the process of fixing up a rental house we purchased a year ago for PJ’s mom to move into. We mentioned in a recent vlog that she lost her job a few weeks back, so we’ll be doing what we can to help her out during the next few months. It’s such a scary and uncertain time for so many around the globe. We never thought we would live in a world where everyone on earth is going through the same crisis at the same time. Of course, everyone is dealing with it differently and everyone is having to adjust accordingly. There are so many who are in extremely hard, unimaginable situations because of the virus: those without a job, without clean water, without food, shelter, etc. Those who were already in hard situations, like refugees and forcibly displaced persons, now face an even tougher battle. It’s overwhelming and difficult to think about, but we feel everyone needs to be thought of during this time and it’s our right and duty to do what we can to help.

We’ve been at home the past few weeks, only going out one or two times to get medicine for us and the kiddos, and one last grocery stop. We’ve been taking trips out to the land and PJ’s dad’s farm to let the kids run wild and get out all the pent up energy they’ve had lately. The toughest days are the rainy ones where the kiddos are forced to stay inside. That’s when they really get restless. Can you blame them, though? Again, they have no real concept of what’s going on with the virus, and don’t really ask either. The most important thing on their minds is keeping their brother from taking their toy or making sure their sister doesn’t mess up their lego house they just made. They’re blissfully unaware, and we feel that’s the best thing for them right now :).

Over on YouTube, we’ve been posting about our life during social distancing almost daily. It’s been a nice distraction from everything to focus on another social channel so heavily, and we’re really getting into editing the videos and adding new music and just having fun with them. Are you subscribed to us on YouTube?

We’ve also been trying our best to stay away from the news as much as we can lately. When everyone started taking this seriously and we were all being urged to stay in our homes, we had the little TV in our kitchen on every minute of the day consuming as much info about COVID 19 as we could. Day after day we would switch between the different news channels (and compare which ones were taking it more serious than the others…) and our minds would go wild. The constant bad news about how fast the virus was spreading and how many people were dying, mixed with a week and a half of rain every day AND two out of three kids being sick (and us not feeling that great either), really took a toll on our mental health for a short while. It felt like the entire world (or ours, at least) was crashing down and there was nothing we could do to stop it. The first few nights of social distancing were the hardest for us. One night, the worst night, we held each other in bed and just cried. Literally cried ourselves to sleep. It was a mixture of fear and uncertainty. We realized that night that life as we’ve known it the last few years would change in the coming days, weeks, months, and it just hit us. It was a hard blow. Ever since then we’ve taken it one day at a time, and some days are good and some days aren’t so good, but overall we’re all healthy and doing what we can to stop the spread of the virus by staying home and staying put.

We hope y’all are staying safe out there and doing what you can during these incredibly hard, scary, and uncertain times. We’re sending you so much love, friends. Take care! xx

6 notes · View notes

minotaurman-ayjay · 4 years

Text

ACAB - Leaving Wonderland

This will be a post on how I used to support the police, and how I’ve changed.

I will also write on this later. This will be detailing…

How increased coverage on Police Brutality changed my mind

Recollections on institutionalized racism, racism in police culture, and racism among civilian employees that I worked with as well as the police themselves.

How the very police department that I worked for mishandled my report, put me in danger, and how they treated me as a mentally ill civilian.

How police departments become corrupt, and how chain of command becomes compromised.

And lastly, how I was treated by my coworkers and supervisors after filing my report, and how they handled my mental and personal crisis, forcing me to quit and forever changed my outlook towards police.

I used to work for the police department in a civilian division. I was really good at my job, and loved the job that I did because I felt like I was helping people. I never really knew the outcome of those that I helped, and have helped many people out of volatile domestically centered situations. I helped spoke to fellow mentally ill citizens, especially those that were suicidal. I never really knew the outcome of my clients, because we weren’t really supposed to know unless it’s for official reasons. It’s a very thankless job, but it feels good to just be there for someone.

However, that slowly got tainted as 1) department wide corruption reared it’s ugly head and 2) how the division I worked for became toxic.

We had a black police chief for quite some time. Things were handled differently, and as painfully awkward he was on the PR front, he was really good at caring for people. And I feel like he legitimately did. He made a lot of changes in the department, and had different classes and training specifically for dealing with people who are mentally ill. Classes for “LGBT and Racial sensitivity”, and “Emergency De-escalation for Mentally Ill Civilians” that basically amounted to “Treat everybody like a human being. Yes. Everybody. Not just WASPs. “ and “Don’t just shoot that guy because he’s having a violent psychological breakdown” and was always de-escalation before violence for *everybody*.

And then he was fired, and the reason for it was very vague and flimsy. Something that we were spoonfed and expected to accept. Hindsight tells me that it was most likely was for racial reasons and hiding those reasons behind “He embarrassed us at Washington DC and he used police resources for personal gain”. Like if such crime was committed, where are the receipts for it? Seriously, where is the evidence??? We weren’t allowed to know that much.

I asked way too many questions on this matter, and I’m pretty sure this is what got the higher ups pissed at me just enough that they opportunistically struck on me and force me to quit.

--- more on that later, I’m trying to keep this as linear as possible ---.

A new police chief was soon appointed and to my (not) surprise, he is a Godfearing white guy who would suck Trump’s orange stump once he is within eyeshot of the guy.

Then the “LGBT and Racial Sensitivity” classes and classes how to handle the mentally ill disappeared for “budget cuts”. I’m certainly hoping that their crisis intervention that is de-escalation based and social worker run continues to be a thing and won’t be done away with because of this new leadership.

Now that the very top is corrupt and obviously not for the People, it enabled racist assholes with a god complex to come out of the goddamn woodwork. He started appointing people with his same views, etc.

Let’s get into Police Culture real quick. Police Culture is known for it’s Good Ol’ Boy mentality. Something that has supposed to have changed. It’s always been dominated by white men, and obviously, the white men within it are going to make sure that it stays that way. Again, hindsight has taught me, that police culture will never change because even though there are people on the inside who want to change it, white centric corruption will always be there to whisk it away.

I had been looking for another job to get out of the Department as my support for the police and for the Department itself began to wain. During this time, I would find an employer who sounded like they would move mountains to hire me... and then suddenly I would hear nothing.

Then, there was some massive leadership reshuffling in my Division, and these were people who should not have been there at all. Remember when I asked too many questions about why the recent police chief was fired? These people were against that chief and are very pro-this chief. Shocking, right? So of course, me who did not like this chief (but was not outward it) or at very least had the AUDACITY to question something that was so obviously bullshit instead of accepting what I was spoonfed like everybody else.

... this is another point on how police culture works. The nail that stands out the most gets hammered. The loosest screw gets screwed..

---This is how I get screwed---

then something happened to me that required me needing the police to help me.

TL;DR AND CW: PET DEATH, ANIMAL CRUELTY

I found my dog stabbed to death, most likely by my exroommates who still had a key... It happened while I was getting knew locks for my house. I called the police, and they took a report. But they did not collect any evidence that was obviously tied to what happened. The reporting officer pushed it through as an Information Only report because HE had concluded that my dog was mauled. He wasn’t even a detective. He was a REPORTING OFFICER who came to a conclusion and used that conclusion to dictate how my report went through ---

*This was how we USED to (or so I thought) treat people who were mentally ill and constantly, frequently, calling with bizarre cases* It was active discrimination against the mentally ill that puts them in danger. I was “mentally apped” a long time ago, (where they take you to a hospital against your will. This is on your personal record forever and can fuck with getting driver’s license, and other things) and concluding something just because it doesn’t add up for “information only” was an old practice that I thought had been done away with.

but did anybody care about this? No, of course not. We were on different management. Months pass despite me blowing up the phones of Sergeants and the Detective that was assigned to my case.

I was talking to peer support to help me go through this, I told them what was going on with my life and what I was doing. They told me not to call these Sergeants and Detectives again and to wait for them to contact me.

I was then put under investigation for “Using police resources for personal gain”, and my supervisor had told me that I was harassing detectives and sergeants. Harassing them to do their job and pick up evidence? Sure.

Since I was under investigation, I was given an alternative assignment. I was put on a different shift--- Something that should have never happened because the shift that I was working was for medical reasons. I was on a rough antipsychotic medical schedule to keep my bipolar disorder and psychosis in check. My shift changed, which caused my medication to not work like it used to.

I was also put in a room with a shitty chair that fucked with my osteoarthritis in my hip... another ADA accommodation that had been violated. They refused to give me a new chair and doctors notes were mysteriously never received. My ADA accommodations had suddenly disappeared, because we had changed to a 3rd party to handle ADA accommodations. We were told that resubmitting accommodations was not necessary as they are still active for the year--- That was a lie.

I eventually spiraled and had to go back to the mental hospital. I was under investigation for 3 months. I was stressed out of my mind and my medication was not working.

My therapist at the mental hospital had many one-on-ones with me, because she was concerned. She said that what I was going through was workplace abuse. This piled on top of the grief of losing my PTSD companion dog in a terrible, vicious, violent, senseless way, was not good for my already fragile mental health.

Before I went to the mental hospital, I had found out that Peer Support had told the administration what I was doing, and what I was going through. This was what triggered the investigation.

TW.... SUI IDEATION AND PLAN....

Because of this, I was probably a day or so away from running away to the creek and overdosing in a place where my girlfriend couldn’t find me. My life had been turned upside down, and nobody was helping me. My workplace didn’t care. Their treatment of me became abusive when I needed them the most.

I quit after getting out of the mental hospital. Ever since then, I’ve had an issue with becoming employed elsewhere.

There are no good cops. Good cops do not last long. If a good cop ends up becoming police chief, he ends up being overthrown by the white male majority, because of white-centric police culture. This caused a lot of changes that fucked a lot of civilians and civilian employees over. There was one police involved slaying shortly after these changes were made, and it’s the same ol’ song and dance that’s going on across america.

I will never support the police again. Not only because of my personal experience, but because I understand and have witnessed the culture, and how institutionally racist it is.

I am sorry that I ever supported the police. I am sorry that I worked for an entity that actively suppresses minorities and actively suppresses Freedom of Speech for the interest of corporations. I realize that I couldn’t be both a Black Lives Matter supporter and a police supporter. I chose Black Lives Matter as I saw the police brutality that I now realize that has always been there. I chose black lives matter as I watched a white police chief do away everything that was progressive. I chose Black Lives Matter as I increasingly worry about my friends of color as hate continues to spread and increase.

I was in the division that I chose because I felt that I was helping people. I thought working with the police was what was going to enable me to help people. That became apparent that wasn’t true the moment we switched police chiefs. We’ve become just like any other police department in the country.

I’m sorry.

#bloggy #personal #acab #no good cops #fuck the police

1 note · View note

daturanerium · 4 years

Text

finished season two of the magnus archives! here is my s2 livetweet thread and here are my reflections/predictions from season one.

jon:

you are so fucking stupid. so incomprehensibly dumb. it is absolutely incredible how you lack any brain cells at all.

if jon was a dnd character he’d have a plus three to intelligence and a negative two to wisdom. i’m right.

[jon voice] people care about me? Must Be A Manipulation Tactic!

[jon voice, continued] literally everyone except for me is a) a murderer, b) using me, or c) hiding something. i, however, am totally fine and also sane and if you imply otherwise you are definitely Hiding Something and i need to stalk you.

seriously it’s a goddamn miracle he wasn’t fired or didn’t just like....explode on the spot

that awkward moment when you befriend a cop and get tapes that may lead to your successor’s cold murder case being solved but in the process you learn that you and your place of employment are actually owned by The Great, All-Powerful [REDACTED]

it’s so interesting listening to a man’s mental health and sanity decline in real time!

martin: do u want some tea? jon: you’re going to kill me huh?

[jon voice] it is a good idea for me to enter these dangerous tunnels alone on multiple occasions. i am fine.

his fatal flaw is still pursuit of knowledge. love that for him.

baby please you work for an entity that probably literally thrives off knowledge.......please grow some brain cells in season three before you literally die doing something stupid

i literally can’t say anything more about s2 jon that isn’t me just repeating “stupid dumb paranoid baby” over and over again

martin:

martin [shaking hands emoji] me playing the mediator as our family loses their minds around us

martin blackwell recieves everything he has ever wanted and needed challenge!!!

baby i love you

HE CARES SO MUCH AND NOBODY CARES ABOUT HIM.......

martin’s job this season is literally the concerned husband but we’re not ready to talk about that yet

my dude really stepped up at the end! he was gonna fight michael in hand to hand combat for jon and sasha and i’m so proud of him!

martin went from baby to hold my flower

martin saw some shit in season one and now he’s a badass

his poetry.....i cried i literally love him so much

when he was talking to tim in the tunnels and he just breaks. and yells. and says he wants to get out of here and save jon and help sasha and be happy and you know what if everything DID turn out in the end that would be kind of nice actually!!!!

we didn’t see much of him this season but from what we did, especially at the end......the character development.......he’s so much braver now, so much more ready to confront the horrors of the world around him. martin is one of those special people that runs on love and uses love as a driving force to fight for the things he needs.

i hope someday martin gets to sit down in a nice little cottage in the middle of nowhere with someone who loves him and just. relax. it’s what he deserves.

tim

you are the only bitch in this house i ever respected

literally just trying his best

so incredibly valid

GIVE HIM A BREAK

as someone who is the least confrontational person on the planet i really respect and admire tim calling jon out on his bullshit

that scene was so cathartic.....god.....

@ THE ELDRICH BEING RUNNING THE ARCHIVES CAN YOU PLEASE LET HIM GO HE JUST WANTS TO LEAVE

tim at the beginning of s2: hey jon you okay? you’re acting weird and it’s kind of freaking us out tim at the end of s2: fuck archivist lives and jon in particular,

and you know what? he’s right

i hope tim gets to go home. it won’t happen but i can dream.

are we just gonna brush over that part in the finale where michael just???? bamfed them to another dimension or something????? because neither tim nor martin seemed the least bit phased

honestly tim/jon has rights. i enjoy it.

he’s just so angry and hurt and done. he’s reached his limit. goodbye

get tim out of the archives s3!!! do it!!!

gertrude

wow i love you

every time i hear gertrude’s voice i just go [one thousand teary-eyes emojis]

there’s a lot we don’t know and there’s a lot that she knows. i wish we could like. raise her from the dead or something. altho honestly with a horror podcast who the hell knows

jon listening to/hyperfixating on gertrude is just a fancy way of him claiming her as his new mother figure

GOD I LOVE HER I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT HER CAN WE GET A SPINOFF PLEASE

basira and daisy

the only cops with rights

that part where tim thought basira was jon’s girlfriend and they both dissolved into gay panic.....priceless

daisy step on me challenge. i’ve met her twice and i love her.

honestly basira is such a badass. stealing from the cops while being a cop? that takes guts and i really respect her lack of respect toward cops while being one

not to mention that entire business with that sentient cult darkness shit. she killed it in there (no pun intended). give her like a purple heart or something idk how cops work

daisy.....please tell me your secrets. what have you seen. what do you know.

melanie

please work for the archives i am BEGGING you

my ghost hunter girlfriend

i love her and jon’s relationship. just pure loathing. tension between the hunter and the archivist. i live for that shit.

but under that it’s like Oh Shit I Actually Care A Lot???? like their loathing comes from their businesses being judgemental enemies, but personally they actually have a lot in common and care for each others’ wellbeing.

i really hope melanie sticks around so we can learn more about her and see her friendship with jon grow into....an actual friendship

shes also a total badass and both her research and deducing skills are so good. she’s just a great archive candidate overall.

michael

[REDACTED]

what the fuck are you

what the fuck do you want

why do i like you so much.

okay there’s a lot more going on here but i’m putting my predictions under the cut!

okay lets check out my predictions from last time.

okay this one was partially right! “entities” rule the world apparently, and the archive is run by one of them. sort of got that!

.....yeah that didn’t happen.

hell yeah! i’m proud of myself for this one, even though the time loop part wasn’t true. i thought “time loop” because her voice started echoing when she hit the table, but turns out that was just her crazy long copy taking over. oh well!

nope. gertrude was killed by elias, apparently. fucker.

WELL.........

okay. this one is complicated because i was sort of correct but there’s still a lot of information i don’t know. gonna give myself half credit for this one i think.

REMEMBER IN THE FINALE WHEN MARTIN THOUGHT HE SAW SASHA AND TIM HAD TO STOP HIM FROM RUNNING IN TO SAVE HER? YEAH.

okay, season three predictions. let's go.

(disclaimer: while i haven’t been actively looking up spoilers or engaging in the tma tag, i also haven’t muted the tag or anything associated with it. i have ideas of what’s to come but they’re vague and mostly come from fanart on my dash/timeline).

jon just gives up. he’s having to much of a crisis to do anything other than his job.

jonmartin endgame still

michael becomes a sort of??? constant presence??? at the archive. everyone just kind of accepts it.

the books and the entities make a lot more things make sense. that’s really vague i know but like.

predictions for the entities:

fire/destruction

knowledge (jon stans rise up)

empty/alone (these stories always get to me the most. the ones where you’re endlessly falling or trapped in a cave or can’t sleep or stuck in space. shit scares me more than anything else)

chaos (i think michael is with this one. the doors also fit into this category, and maybe that shipping company)

death/id (brings out the bareness of human instinct. the meat, the bloodlust, and the death. maybe even the bugs go here, but they’re confusing. i don’t know where they fit.)

each entity represents a deep-set human fear. they were created to either teach us lessons or keep us in line.

sometimes they have devoted followers. sometimes they have disciples or avatars. you can lose yourself to them if you aren’t careful. jane was probably an avatar, that girl with the heat powers on hilltop road was an avatar, that guy with the lightning powers was an avatar, etc.

the books can teach you how to connect with the entities, but you have to be actually insane to try it. (if you aren’t already, you certainly will by the time you finish the reading/ritual. if you even survive)

anyway back to actual plot.

jon learns more from gertrude’s tapes about elias and the archives. maybe even the entities. he doesn’t want to know, but as we’ve learned, he Just Can’t Not Know.

jon finally grows a brain cell and lets people (martin) take care of him. a little.

tim is just there. he hates it but he can’t leave. (someone please get him out this is so sad)

melanie and basira join up with the archive, but for different reasons. melanie because jon asks her to, basira because despite her best interest she couldn’t stay away.

at the end of the season we’ll either meet a powerful avatar person of one of the entities themselves. that will be.....interesting.

elias gets hit by a bus. won’t happen but i can dream.

what ever happened to that one man from season one who had the dreams about death? i loved his statement. is there anyone out there like him? will jon receive a message like gertrude did?

WHAT IS THE LIGHTER FOR. i completely forgot about it until i looked at my last predictions and saw it mentioned.

martin is more active in tapes (again unlikely but i can dream. i love him)

that’s about all i got! i’m going to post this and immediately start season three. wish me luck :)

#tma #the magnus archives #tma season 2 #jonathan sims #i love any cryptic laughter but please no actual spoilers!

8 notes · View notes

camillemontespan · 5 years

Text

mind over matter [interview with drake walker]

I am rolling about laughing at my attempt to make a magazine cover for Drake. God bless Hugh Jackman as a body claim. Bahahaha.

On a serious note, this covers mental health. I’m not sure how many of my followers suffer from anxiety, depression and everything in between, but I was thinking about writing something different about Drake and it occurred to me that yeah, maybe he could have suffered from depression at some stage in his life.

This piece is inspired by a time when I was with my male friends, we had been drinking and they all got really emotional and started talking about how they were actually feeling and Jesus Christ I didn’t realise how sad they all were. Because they don’t talk about it normally. It took alcohol to get them to open up. So, this has shaped this ‘interview’ with Drake. Just something a bit different. This is part serious, part fluff.

@pug-bitch @jovialyouthmusic @moonlightgem7 @sirbeepsalot @drakesensworld @iplaydrake @dcbbw @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @ifyouseekheart @carabeth @notoriouscs

******************************************************************************************

I am sat outside overlooking the mountains of Valtoria, waiting patiently for the Duke of Valtoria to arrive. I've managed to secure an interview with the notoriously private Drake Walker and honestly, I have no idea what to expect. He often looks serious in paparazzi pictures. He's been known to grumble and not exactly offer a winning smile. I've heard he is fiercely protective of his wife and their daughter and I have also heard that he hates the press. Great news for me.

'Hey there!'

I look around and see the man himself coming out onto the terrace holding two glasses of water. He hands me one and settles down opposite me. 'Sorry for the delay, I was trying to settle Lily down to watch a Disney film.'

He looks.. happy. Smiley. He has a kind face which is a complete contrast to the paparazzi shots that everyone is used to. Drake Walker is wearing jeans, a red Henley shirt and brown boots. Broad shouldered, with a wide chest span and veins that stick out of his arms, he is rugged and handsome, which I think is the reason why so many nobles and commoners alike were laughing when he was named the new Duke of Valtoria. He doesn’t look like a typical Duke but I get the feeling that suits him just fine.

I'm here interviewing him today because he has launched a campaign to promote men's mental heath, which has been named Mind Over Matter. When he first announced the campaign, which centers around men in Cordonia meeting up - Drake included - to go trekking up mountains, kayaking, abseiling, it was dismissed as just an excuse for men to get outdoors and away from family life - Cordonia is very traditional and some might say stuck in the past with emphasis on family and structure, but with King Liam and the Duke of Valtoria at the helm, its becoming thoroughly more modern. That includes encouraging men with depression, anxiety and all mental health issues in between, to get together.

'It's a safe space for men to open up while still enjoying themselves. It's not like therapy where you're stuck in a room talking for 60 minutes about feelings. This is different. While we are trekking up mountains, we talk openly. You forget that it's therapy. It's very freeing. Anyone can sign up and it pushes you to confront your emotions. When you abseil down a cliff side, you feel such adrenaline, like you can do anything. You have to place your initial fears in a box, unpack it then jump off the edge. It’s a symbol and also literally what we do. It's mind over matter.'

The press have wondered what Drake actually knows about mental health. He sighs, clearly used to this question. 'I had depression when I was younger,' he says. 'My dad had died, my sister left, my mother abandoned me and I was left in the palace with no actual role or identity. I was only known as the prince's friend and honestly I felt I had lost who I was. I had no family and I felt very, very alone. I built up these walls and never let anyone in. I tried to protect myself in the worst way.'

I ask how he got out of it. He smiles sadly. 'I still have my dark days,' he admits. 'days where I think I don't deserve this life, this role, this family. I used to rely on whiskey, I used it as a crutch. I still drink whiskey but definitley not at the rate I was drinking it two years ago. Anytime I felt a hint of doubt or anxiety, I would block it out with drink. It was a dark period. I'm better now but I do still struggle. I try my best to pull myself back from that, you know? I have to. I have to for my girls.'

His girls are his wife, Duchess Camille, and their four year old daughter Lily. He married Camille, a New Yorker, four years ago and their daughter followed soon after. The Duke and Duchess have proven to be a breath of fresh air for Valtoria, in that they host an Open House every month for their citizens to meet them to discuss issues. They are young and eager to make a difference, which is in stark contrast to other dukes and duchesses who don't seem to do much for their duchies.

I ask if Camille has helped him with his mental health. 'Definitely,' he answers instantly. 'It's weird, on paper, we shouldn't work as a couple. I can be grumpy, pessimistic, sometimes even rude. A dark cloud on the horizon. But she is all sunshine and positivity. God, the amount of times she's been talking to her girlfriends who are having a crisis and she's like, 'Right come to mine, I’ll get the bottle of wine and we'll just unpack everything you're feeling and talk.' Everyone needs a person like Camille in their corner. I'm lucky I have the genuine article.'

Does she encourage you to talk? 'All the time. She broke down my walls and if she sees me going to a dark place, she tells me she is there and I end up just telling her everything. She's really supportive.'

Has family life changed him? 'Definitely,' he answers, blushing. 'I didn't realise how overprotective I can be. I never visualised myself ever sat down with a child - my own child - watching Peppa Pig but hey, it happened. I know all the kids TV shows now, I know the theme songs. Baby Shark literally plays in my head when I’m trying to get to sleep, its so annoying.. '

Drake is notorious for being overprotective. He went to court to ask for a restraining order against the press when Camille was pregnant, as they kept hounding her. He has ensured that paparazzi are not allowed within 8 feet of his daughter, after photographs emerged of Lily playing in the playground. 'That was a complete violation of her privacy,' he says quietly. 'I was sick to my stomach when those pictures were published. We're trying to bring Lily up as normally as possible and when she sees herself on the front of newspapers, she does get confused because she isn't aware of how well known she is.' He sued the newspaper who printed the images and now if the family are photographed in public, pixels are placed over Lily's face.

Basically, you don't mess with family man Drake Walker.

'I like to think most fathers in my position would do that,' he tells me. 'There's nothing I wouldn't do to protect my family.'

We are interrupted by a small, dark haired girl with big brown eyes. It's Lily. She is wearing a pretty red summer dress embroidered with flowers. 'Daddy, I miss you,' she says quietly.

Drake chuckles. 'Do you mind?' he asks me. I smile and watch as Drake lifts her up onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin on the top of her head.

I bring the conversation back to his campaign. 'The King is involved, as is his brother. Leo loves outdoor things, he's been travelling everywhere. Give him a mountain to climb and he'll happily do it.' Drake is grinning now, his eyes lit up. Lily snuggles into her father and looks at me warily with those big eyes. She is very delicate and pretty, I must say.

I ask if he has raised money for the campaign so far. He nods enthusiastically. 'So far, 2000 euro and the campaign was only announced last week. Many people have donated and the money is going to be split and given to Cordonian charities who advocate mental health support. You can donate when you see what events we have planned. We’re planning to vlog the things we do, not everything, but say if we’re going to go kayaking, we’ll vlog it on the official website and people can watch and donate. It's a big deal.'

I suggest he creates his own charity. Drake smiles. 'Maybe in the future - ow, Lily, did you just bite me?'

He looks down at Lily who is smirking. She actually has his smirk. Drake holds out his thumb to me. 'My daughter bit me for no reason!'

He nudges her playfully then says seriously, 'What have I told you before?'

Lily sighs. 'Biting is bad..'

'Thank you. Let's remember that from now on, shall we?'

He still pulls her in close and gives her a hug. It's obvious he is wrapped around her little finger.

'Who's the bad cop and good cop between you and Camille?' I ask him, gesturing to Lily. Drake laughs. 'Camille is 100% bad cop. Poor woman. She's so lovely but she always adopts the bad cop role. She complains about why she always ends up as the bad cop and I tell her, ‘Babe, you actively put yourself into that role!’ I'm the good cop. I'm a cool fun dad, huh Lily?'

Lily giggles. Drake winks at me. 'She definitely agrees.' I melt.

'I do tell her off though,' Drake continues. 'I don't want her to be a brat. No, if she does something wrong, I will pull her up on it. It's just Camille is the one who tends to take away Peppa Pig privileges.'

'How do you maintain a normal family life when you've got this world of titles and nobility?'

Drake considers the question. 'You just have to stay grounded and remember where you came from. I think everyone assumed that as soon as Camille and I were made Duke and Duchess, we would become tyrants! No way in hell was that gonna happen,' he chuckles. 'Honestly, we're pretty chill. We have a small household of staff and we have assistants to help with our diaries, but really, we do try our best to just be Drake and Camille. We treat it like a working day. So from 9-5, we're noble, we’re the Duke and Duchess of Valtora. From 5pm onwards, we are ourselves. Camille gets changed out of her usual Duchess outfits and into jeans and an oversized sweater. If the cook has made dinner, she leaves it in the kitchen for us to help ourselves. We are very self sufficient though, I hate the fact we actually have a cook but sometimes it gets so hectic, you need that sort of privilege. In the evening, Camille and I sit out on our balcony, me with a glass of whiskey, Camille with a glass of sauvignon blanc, and we just laugh and talk.'

Do you do normal couple things, I ask. He stares at me, dumbfounded. ‘Well, yeah. We’re a normal couple, of course we do!’

I can’t visualise them on date nights or watching box sets. Drake laughs, a deep hearty laugh that is so unexpected. ‘Oh god, we love a box set. We’re re-watching Stranger Things at the moment before the new series starts again.’

‘You watch Stranger Things!’ I exclaim and Drake nods. ‘Yeah! We love that show! Camille adores Will, he’s like her TV baby.. ‘ I try to imagine the two of them sat on the sofa watching the show. It’s hard to see. Drake continues. ‘It’s hard to watch anything during the day though, Lily commands the TV when she’s home from nursery. She’s obsessed with The Greatest Showman right now, constantly sings the songs and has the album on repeat. She wants to have her own circus.’

He looks down at Lily and his face softens. 'We want to be normal parents for Lily. We don't have nannies, we are not going to send her to a boarding school when she's older and she was not born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Yeah, she was born into privilege but I really want her to grow up aware of the world. You see so many kids who think chauffeur driven cars and fancy houses are the norm. I want her to be a child first, daughter of a Duke and Duchess second.'

Drake is originally from Texas while Camille is New York born and bred. Do the family visit the States often? Drake nods. 'We've got a brownstone in New York and we see my mom every summer. Texas is really important to us.'

Drake and Camille got married at the Walker ranch in Texas and although the press wasn't allowed, a photograph was released, with Drake and Camille's permission. It showed the newlyweds at their first dance and Drake has dipped Camille down near the floor and kissing her. It's a candid, beautiful moment that was caught on camera forever and published on the front page of The Valtorian Herald. 'We allowed that photo to be released because we wanted our duchy to see us as actual humans, not these stuffy nobles. It was kind of like an introduction to us.'

It is clear that Drake isn't comfortable with being a Duke. Not that he doesn't like the role, he stresses, 'with my position, I can use my platform to reach out to people about things that matter and they will listen,' but the fancy title and the trappings that come with that don't seem to sit right with him. I've interviewed many dukes in the past who show me their yachts and horses, keen to show a life that I could only dream of. Drake doesn't do that. ' I'm not materialistic in the slightest,' he admits. 'I would be happy living in a cabin in the woods with my wife and daughter if given the chance. Hell, maybe one day..'

His wishful thinking could come across as ungrateful, except the way his eyes light up when he talks about living in cabins and being outdoors actually makes you smile. He may be a Duke by name but underneath, he is still Drake Walker.

I ask him where Camille is today. He smiles proudly at the mention of her name. 'She's visiting the children's hospital this morning. She adores children, honestly.'

I joke that maybe she is planning to add to their small family. Drake smiles bashfully and holds Lily a little closer. 'She wants a whole brood,' he says. 'Maybe soon, who knows..'

He looks like he's gone into a daydream so I clear my throat to bring him back to earth. He turns red and runs a hand through his hair. 'Sorry!'

Lily clambers off his lap, repeating the word 'cookie...' Drake stops her. 'Have you finished your breakfast?'

She nods. Drake raises an eyebrow before saying, 'Fine.' Lily beams and runs back into the manor. I ask Drake if the King will be climbing mountains for the mental health campaign. Drake nods, amused.

‘All the guys I know are getting involved. I've even got the Beaumont brothers taking part. Maxwell has told me he's packing every kind of snack he can fit into his rucksack and Bertrand.. Oh god, Bertrand.. I imagine he will be like an army captain shouting orders and telling us we've had enough rest. Or, he will be a baby and crawl up the mountain. There will be no in between with Betrand. Leo and I have a bet on to see how long he lasts.' He chuckles, showing he's just teasing the Duke of Ramsford.

They are a close knit group. Many paparazzi shots have been taken of Camille and her friend Hana Lee walking down the street grabbing coffee to go. Maxwell Beaumont has an Instagram account which boasts 1 million followers, which shows images of his everyday life - Drake and Camille are rarely in his photos as the couple are so private, but Maxwell does occasionally post photos of Drake and Camille when they are attending royal events, captioning them with descriptions such as 'I LOVE Camille's dress here!' or, the photo that went viral a year ago showing Camille talking to the King and Drake was just looking at her with a dopey smile on his face. Maxwell captioned it, 'THE FEEEEEEELS!!' and the photo was posted everywhere. Drake groans. 'It trended on Twitter. It became a meme. Memes saying: Find a guy who looks at you like Drake looks at Camille.' Camille was laughing so much, she thought it was sweet.'

I assume Drake doesn't like to show off his tender side. He stiffens and bites his lip. 'I only really show that side of myself to my wife. That's what I need to work on and try keep my walls down. That's why I need this mental health campaign too, to show me its also okay to be open and it's okay to talk about feelings. Men are taught that they have to be macho all the time and it's unhealthy. It needs to change and men need to talk about how they feel otherwise they will feel alone and that's why suicide rates in young men are so high at the moment. I hope I can change this and also learn from it myself.’

We are interrupted by the appearance of Lily again. She comes out onto the terrace holding out three cookies. She hands me one shyly then gives one to Drake, before climbing back onto his lap. Drake grins at me.

‘See, my daughter may bite people but at least she’s got manners and gifts you cookies.’

He brings her into a bear hug and I decide to wrap up the interview there. He stands up to give me a hug and I try my best not to inhale his woody, masculine smell. He walks me back to my car. ‘Thank you for interviewing me,’ he says. ‘I don’t usually have interviews but since Mind Over Matter was launched, I want to get it out there. So thanks.’ He shoots me a bashful smile and waves me off as I pull away from the drive.

As this issue goes to print, Drake has raised a further 4000 euro and the group of men signed up to the campaign has doubled in size. Maxwell Beaumont videos the group as they hike up mountains, kayak down rivers, abseil and build campfires. Drake is in the middle of it all, getting stuck in and talking about his mental health. He looks at peace and you can tell he is in his element. This is the Duke of Valtoria but more importantly, this is Drake Walker.

#drake walker #the royal romance

76 notes · View notes

serenagaywaterford · 4 years

Note

Cate fan here. Cate and Elise explained the focus on Sofie in The Guardian, and in the ABC article that asks "why is the cast so white" where they call Sofie as their "trojan horse". We fully trust Cate in handling this passion project, especially as she and Andrew, her husband, have experience with working on issues concerning refugees. This series also has the support of Rau's sister and the UNHCR. I believe they picked the best of all approaches given this project's long development period.

Good for you. “We fully trust”??? Wtf dude. Who’s “we”? Some Blanchett hivemind?Glad you PERSONALLY fully trust some actor you don’t even know (who names her son after a convicted paedophile, or just jokes about it. *shrug*). I don’t. Nor should I have to.

Why do I get messages like this every fucking time I post my own stupid opinions on this show?

Look, I am not a Cate Blanchett stan. And I especially don’t think everything any actor does is immediately blessed by God and can never, ever be criticized or have weaknesses. I literally said I am going to be patient and see how this show turns out. And me saying Sofie’s story is the least interesting is ONCE AGAIN not stating it is shit and should be erased! You people take everything so black and white.

Here is a lesson for fans: not everything is an “all or nothing” situation. When I say Yvonne isn’t a great dancer, I am not saying she is fucking terrible and should never dance–which seems to be exactly what the lot of you heard last week based on the responses I got. I just said she isn’t the best ever at something that isn’t even her fucking job! FFS. I love Yvonne as an actress and think she’s absolutely fantastic, in Stateless and other shows. But that doesn’t mean I have to say she’s fucking fantastic at absolutely everything ever or else I lose my “cool fan” points. I don’t give a flying fuck what other people think about how much of a “true fan” I am.This week I say Sofie’s story is the least engaging and I get this random shit about how great Cate Blanchett is(?) and how Sofie is some “Trojan horse”. That doesn’t even make sense!!! Have any of you (them) actually read the Iliad? Being a Trojan horse isn’t a GOOD thing. Unless I guess you’re Achilles, lol. Generally speaking, it’s this: “Something that initially seems innocuous but is ultimately bad or malicious.” Maybe be more careful with words, lmao. I think maybe they meant “conduit”, or something similar. Unless they are actually insinuating that Sofie makes everything way worse for the detainees and is part of the problem. No, they mean she’s a trigger for recognition that something is very wrong in these places and she “brings down” the system–which is all idealistic, revisionist bullshit. Cos while Rau’s story made some big waves, it didn’t stop anything. Sure, SHE got out and so did the Palmer report, which changed some aspects of detention, esp for Australian citizens... And it unearthed like 200 other cases similarly brutal, like Vivian Solon.

“In politics, the precise relationship between cause and effect is usually unclear. Some of the things that happened in the six months following the release of Cornelia Rau would certainly have happened anyway. Some, most likely, would not. What is clear, however, is that the case of Cornelia Rau shaped public opinion about the treatment of asylum seekers in a way no previous episode had. The Cornelia Rau affair taught the public that the lazy trust it had placed in government – not to inflict on innocents serious harm – was unwarranted. It was able to do this, as almost everyone immediately understood, because the person who had suffered false imprisonment and neglect was not a swarthy, dark-skinned, Islamic outsider. She was “one of us”. If, in February 2005, it had been discovered that a mentally ill Australian woman of Iranian descent had been wrongfully imprisoned, the transformative effect on public opinion would almost certainly have been immeasurably less.”

But activists and doctors are STILL fighting the Australian government over conditions and the mental health concerns of current detainees. Which is what I assume Blanchett and co. are trying to inspire reaction to? Which is a good thing and absolutely nobody is saying it’s not. I am not saying: “Sofie fucking sucks! This whole show is garbage and doesn’t have any compassion for the refugee crisis! Kill her off and just focus on everyone else!” I am saying, of all the stories, hers is the least interesting and the least relevant to the issue of detention camps at this moment (in the show, in history). Obviously. I don’t even understand why this opinion bothers people??? Like, it’s just objectively true that it’s the least relevant to the real crisis and plight of actual refugees jailed in these prisons for years on end. The Rau case happened 15 YEARS AGO. The problem right now is not what happened to her, it’s what’s continuing to happen in other centers--currently.And if you want to talk seriously about mental health issues of detainees in a fictional sense, using a character who IS ALREADY MENTALLY ILL to highlight how these refugees end up suffering serious, chronic, and sometimes fatal mental illnesses is not the best way to do it. Like, jfc, it’s just… okay, I will need 50 pages to explain why this is not the best approach if you really want to talk about mental health in detention centres. You can’t use a rich white girl who had a devastating pre-existing illness that caused her to BE THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE as your mascot for “Look, how terrible this place is! Everyone goes crazy!” She was already fucked up, she was already so, so, so vulnerable, and this made it a million times worse. The stories that are important are the healthy, perfectly capable refugees from war-torn countries that end up there for NO reason and gradually through constant imprisonment, abuse, neglect, isolation, lack of privacy, and stress DEVELOP illness, and it goes unnoticed and untreated until you have a prison full of broken people, especially children who are trying to kill themselves. And a lot of this is due to the guards and government employees who are actively awful, or merely wilfully blind.

So, excuse me, for stating that SOFIE isn’t the most important character to focus on, or the most interesting. All Sofie’s story does is highlight how oblivious the guards/officials/etc is to the mental welfare of their prisoners, and the inherent problems with the system. Which, yes, is important to a degree but if you can’t get people to care about refugees without insisting the story revolve around a white person… I just… I dunno what to tell you.

Oh, wait, am I stepping on the precious toes of Cate and Yvonne stans? Whatever. Boo hoo. I don’t care. If you’re gonna make a show about such serious issues (including the portrayal of mental illness based on someone’s ACTUAL LIFE!!!), be prepared for people to get critical about the lack of nuance and sensitivity, and the use of TV tropes. And how fucking WHITE-FOCUSED it is. Because, guess what–if it wasn’t and if Cate/Yvonne/Jai/Asher wasn’t in it–you all wouldn’t even be watching this. How about we all just admit that? It has so much attention not because of the story or the issues (that I assume Blanchett wanted to address), but because of the cast and the focus on the white people.

I do not care how much a massively privileged, white, Hollywood star has worked with refugees. That doesn’t absolve them from having bias, making poor decisions, or falling prey to tropes in their film-making. They are HUMAN BEINGS, an especially human beings that live in a very strange otherword of celebrity, constant validation, narcissism, and money. So much money. They can seem like the most grounded people ever but they are not. Anybody who’s spent even 10 minutes in Hollywood knows this. It’s a thick BUBBLE completely detached from the real world we all live in. So, quit acting like these ACTORS are suddenly experts on foreign policy, immigration, governmental processes, politics, law, sociology, economics, mental health, and whatever else. Especially not bigger experts than critics who have spent their whole lives involved in these issues. (I’m not talking about me. I’m a biologist lol.) She is producing a FICTIONAL TV SHOW to raise… awareness? I guess? To me, as of right now, it’s just using “Sofie’s” real story and vaguely touching on some of the issues. And without all that much depth either. Yet.And pardon me if I don’t really care for Rau’s SISTER’S support of the show. It’s not her sister’s story to tell. Sorry. This is about Cornelia herself. (Yes, I have read Rau’s article.) And OF COURSE the UNHCR is supportive. They are supportive of anything that helps raise awareness in a positive way. And, PLEASE NOTE: I once again never said this was a shit show that needs to be cancelled cos it sucks so bad. It does serve a purpose but I have issues with the NARRATIVE STYLE AND DECISIONS they’re making in order to do that. It has nothing to do with the actual issues.Yet. Like, I’ve said a million times and nobody seems to hear, YET. It’s only 2 episodes in and it has plenty of time to get really into the deep issues. They’ve only just brushed over them right now, so I’m happily waiting for the big pay off.

But let’s not all act like this is the first ever attempt to bring awareness of this humanitarian crisis to mainstream Australians and Blanchett is some sort of national refugee activist hero. Like I’ve said before Safe Harbour (in terms of (sometimes soapy) fiction) and Chasing Asylum (in terms of documentary) and even Go Back To Where You Came From (lol reality tv) have all attempted this, and with some stellar results. Go watch any of those and tell me what Stateless is doing that is so amazingly unique and affective. Stateless is just bringing big Hollywood names to the issue, and trying to bring awareness. AND, amazingly, guess what! It doesn’t even have to be a GOOD show to do that. It can be mediocre and still reach the people Blanchett & Co. clearly want to reach and get people thinking. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing. And me criticising little bits of the programme (like Yvonne’s dancing/accent/choice to have her speaking English all the time, or the lack of focus on actual refugee stories, ffs) is not me saying the whole thing is boring, useless garbage and a waste of time. So, y’all need to hop off my dick for two seconds and not just assume that me talking about my opinion of its small weaknesses is saying I hope your faves choke. Gimme a break. And just in case you all are still pissed off about my complaints that Sofie’s story isn’t the most important focus ever, I’ll just dump a few links here:

‘Begging to die’: succession of critically ill children moved off Nauru

Australia: Reverse Cruel Refugee Policy

'Australia is a bigger cage’: the ongoing trauma of Nauru’s child refugees

How Australia turned its back on the world’s refugee crisis

Mental health crisis in Australia’s refugee camps

The mental health of asylum seekers in Australia and the role of psychiatrists

Christmas Island detention centre’s conditions stoke tension, detainee says

Australia blocks asylum seekers held offshore from seeking medical care in the country

Nauru: MSF report shows disastrous mental health impact of Australian refugee policy

‘Someone needs to say, enough’: Mental health on Manus Island

Nauru asylum seekers’ mental health as bad as torture victims, doctors say

Nauru detention centre: Abuse and trauma reports leaked

Australia’s man-made crisis on Nauru: Breaking Women

The Nauru files: cache of 2,000 leaked reports reveal scale of abuse of children in Australian offshore detention

Australia: Appalling Abuse, Neglect of Refugees on Nauru

Australia to reopen Christmas Island detention center after defeat on refugee policy

UN body says Australia breached human rights laws and needs to review Migration Act

And yes, most of these are offshore centres (some of which have effectively closed now), but it’s not even counting the ones actually in Australia itself, many of which are still operational: List of Australian immigration detention facilities

And yeah… The unknown story of Cornelia Rau. Just as a reality check of what Sofie’s story is meant to be. It’s absolutely horrifying, devastating and incredibly sad, and not something to be glamourised or sensationalised for woke points.

So, sorry (NOT SORRY) for saying Rau/Sofie’s story isn’t the most important part of this whole MASSIVELY COMPLEX thing, nor is it even close to the most interesting aspect of the crisis. I do get why they chose her story as a vehicle to unlock the issue for all the other white, middleclass Aussies (and others) watching but I still don’t think it’s the most interesting aspect of the SHOW. That’s all. I’m not saying it’s pointless to tell “Sofie’s” story, or that I don’t like it, or it’s entirely irrelevant. Just it’s not the most important thing to me.

I can’t believe I have to say this again but just so we are all on the same page:

I HAVE NO BIG PROBLEM WITH “STATELESS”. I DON’T HATE IT. IT IS A GOOD, WELL-ACTED, WELL-PRODUCED, ENGAGING, DECENT SHOW THAT IS ATTEMPTING TO TAKE ON A HUGE, COMPLEX ISSUE IN A VERY SHORT PERIOD OF TIME. I THINK IT’S ADMIRABLE THAT EVEN MORE ATTENTION IS TRYING TO BE BROUGHT TO THE ISSUE AND GOOD FOR BLANCHETT FOR PUSHING FOR IT. I JUST WANT MORE FOCUS ON THE RELEVANT ISSUES TO THIS TIME PERIOD.

What’s the point in raising awareness and putting heavy focus on something awful that happened 15 years ago and has been resolved (more or less, cos nothing is ever totally resolved in politics)? Let’s focus on the terrible shit that hasn’t been resolved yet. Acting like Sofie’s story would happen today is just so far from reality when you are aware of all the changes made and results of the Rau situation. Any criticisms I have of the show or its actors do not mean I hate the show and think it’s stupid and pointless. Just, if it was my show, I’d do it slightly differently. THAT’S ALL. But it’s not my show and I could never produce TV so don’t get all your knickers’ in a twist over my personal opinions about trivial shit. No need to come into my inbox on a weekly basis and try to school me about Yvonne, Cate, etc. I can have opinions on actors/TV shows, even if you think they’re stupid. If you think my opinions are wildly misinformed on politics/storytelling/etc, that's fair. Maybe they are. Tumblr is certainly not the best platform for me to lay out all my thoughts in a coherent way. But so far I don’t have anybody coming at me about the actual issues, just getting butthurt that I’m not kissing your fave’s ass. (Keep in mind, Yvonne is one of my fav actresses too. I’m just not insanely obsessed with her.)

God. I am turning off anon cos every week now I say anything even remotely, mildly critical of some minor aspect of Stateless I get bombarded with this kind of condescending shit from rabid stans of the actors. If you can’t put your name to it, I’m not interested in your thoughts anymore. Sorry. I’m tired. And my inbox is tired lol.

#you all act like i've kicked your puppy #and people wonder why so many people leave fandoms #this is exhausting #I LIKE STATELESS OK??? leave me alone.

2 notes · View notes

uncloseted · 5 years

Note

Hey Christina!!!!!!!!!! Sorry I’m hyped. I was wondering if you could do a “50 things about yourself” idk if you’ve done it before but I’d like to know about you cause you’re so cool! 😎 and we love you

Hi! I haven’t done one before but I’m happy to. And of course, if there’s anything you guys want to know about me I’m an open book. This particular “50 Things” tag is old school Tumblr, so it’s sort of random, but hopefully something in there is interesting for you guys.

1. What takes up too much of your time?

Reddit. I’m an information junkie and most of the stuff on there has very little use in my life, but once in a while I come across a gem and it’s what keeps me scrolling.

2. What makes your day better?

Iced coffee. There’s a coffee shop near my house that I really like, and I also bought a bunch of the fancy flavored syrups so I can make it at home.

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today?

I’ve been having a pretty chill day so far, but spending the day with my boyfriend has been really nice.

4. What fictional place would you like to go?

The Night Circus! It’s one of my secret ambitions in life to actually build it.

5. Are you good at giving advice?

I sure hope so, otherwise I’m running some of your lives 😂. But seriously, I do my best.1.

6. Do you have any mental illness?

Let’s say I know my way around a therapist’s office and leave it at that.

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

Yes! I used to get a combination of sleep paralysis and exploding head syndrome semi-regularly, but that hasn’t happened in years.

8. What musician inspired you the most?

I don’t know about “inspired” but I think The Velvet Underground had a big hand in shaping who I am. Also Patti Smith, she’s great. I highly recommend her book “Just Kids” to all of you. There’s something about it that feels Skinsy even though on paper they’re nothing alike.

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

Absolutely. I’ve been with my boyfriend for four years now and I couldn’t be happier.

10. What’s your dream date?

I love driving to a new city and checking out what there is to do there. I think having a place that you share just with that one person is really romantic.

11. What do other people notice about you?

My hair, my clothes, or my “intimidating” face are the ones I hear the most often.

12. What is the annoying habit you have?

My boyfriend really hates it when I do “active listening” (where you nod or make noises to let people know you’re still paying attention to them).

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

No, but I hope they’re doing well.

14. How many ex’s do you have?

6ish would be my guess? I’d be interested to know if all of those people would say that I’m their ex, though.

15. How many songs are on your playlist?

I don’t really make playlists, so I guess none. I’m sorry that’s a super boring answer.

16. What instruments can you play?

Piano and bass guitar pretty well and tuba badly (and I can’t actually carry the instrument anymore). I could play the flute when I was younger but I imagine I can’t anymore.

17. Who do you have the most pictures of?

My boyfriend, I think. I have a Polaroid camera and I like taking pictures of him when he’s not paying attention.

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

Argentina, Scandinavia, Japan, South Korea, Hong Kong, Russia, Vietnam, South Africa, Morocco, Australia, Antarctica, and the moon.

19. What is your zodiac?

Libra! My birthday is coming up on the 17th.

20. Do you relate to it?

I do! And I feel sort of badly about that because I know that zodiac is just the Barnum Effect in action, but the Libra desire for balance, idealism, and love of aesthetics is me.

21. What is happiness to you?

Being free of expectations from myself and other people.

22. Are you going through anything right now?

In my experience, adulthood is just going through different things for the rest of your life, so yes. Pretty much always. But right now I’m looking for a new job and that’s been a lot.

23. What is the worst decision you’ve ever made?

How much time do you have? I did a lot of things in my teenage years that I’m not particularly proud of.

24. What is your favourite store?

I love really giant department stores like Harrod’s, or covered markets with tons of different random stalls. I like the idea that you don’t know what you’re going to find. I also love antique stores for the same reason.

25. What is your opinion on abortion?

It should be available and accessible to anyone who wants or needs it. But so should birth control. And I think it’s important that people understand all of their options before making a decision and are given mental health support if they need it as well.

26. Do you have a bucket list?

Not really. I had basically one thing that I’d always wanted to accomplish and that happened way earlier than I expected, so now I’m trying to figure out what my next thing will be.

27. Do you have a favourite album at the moment?

Blue Scholar’s Cinematropolis or Belle & Sebastian’s Dear Catastrophe Waitress. And Velvet Underground’s Loaded, always.

28. What do you want for your birthday?

I’m hoping my boyfriend and I will go away for the weekend. Fingers crossed that our schedules work out!

29. What are most people’s first impression of you?

I think people find me to be intimidating (when they’re being generous) or mean (when they’re not). Like I said before, I have a bit of a bitchy face and so I have to make a conscious effort to smile at people.

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

I’m not sure. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m just sort of “in my 20s” and people don’t care what the exact number is. But in general, I think people assume I am however old they are, so anywhere from like 18-30.

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

Right next to my bed, which you shouldn’t do. But I read on my phone before I go to sleep and I use it as an alarm clock, so it ends up on my bedside table.

32. What word do you say the most?

It’s probably “but”. I spend a lot of time considering all the possibilities in a given situation so I spend a lot of time being like, “but what about this? But what if that? Things could be this way, but on the other hand they’re like that”. I don’t think I really have a catchphrase, though.

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

Thirty, probably? I feel like anyone older than that is probably in a different stage of their life than I am.

34. What’s the youngest age you would date?

Twenty three or so? They would have to be out of college.

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

Other than the job I do now, I get a lot of people saying that I should be an art curator or a museum curator. And I get people telling me I should be a therapist, obviously.

36. What’s your favourite music genre?

Like most people I like your general pop/rock situation. I really like baroque pop, which is pop music but that includes orchestral instruments. And then I also love electroswing, I think it’s such a fun blend of genres.

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

Either the Netherlands or Denmark. But I would also like to spend some time in France and more time in Italy, where I did study abroad. I also really love the UK, but given the current political situation I’m not sure I’ll be moving there any time soon, especially since I’d need a visa.

38. What is your current favourite song?

I don’t know if I really have one. I do enjoy when I hear Billie Eilish’s “Bad Guy” on the radio, though, does that count?

39. How long have you had this blog for?

Since October, 2013! I’m coming up on my six year anniversary. I think I have something like 30,000 posts.

40. What are you excited for?

The future! I think no matter how the present seems, the future is always an exciting prospect.

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

I think this might surprise some people, but I think I’m a better talker than listener.

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

The last really productive thing I did was to film a pitch video for a project I’m working on, but the most recent is doing some work for this blog.

43. What do you want for Christmas?

The impeachment of Donald Trump? Can Santa do that? I would also take “people taking climate crisis seriously”.

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

In high school, philosophy/religion and psychology. At university I did very well in “Iconic Figures of Popular Music: Simon and Garfunkel”.

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling?

Around a 7. I need to get dressed and leave the house, but I don’t have anywhere in particular I need to be so I’ve been putting it off.

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years?

I’d like to be living in a different country than the one I do now with my boyfriend. I’d like to be self employed or remotely employed, so that I have flexibility in when and where I do work. I want to be doing something where I’m bettering other people’s lives or the world at large. But mostly what I’d like to be doing is traveling and learning. But really my priority is that by that time, I want to be content with myself. I think what you’re doing and where you’re doing it is so much less important than how you feel while doing it, and in 10 years I hope I can say that I’m living a happy and worthwhile life, whatever that ends up being.

47. When did you get your first heart broken?

I think I was 14. What I’ll say about it is this- in the moment it mattered so, so much to me. My parents were the first person that each other dated and I assumed that was how all relationships worked, so when that wasn’t how this one worked out, I was devastated. But now I barely remember that person, and I live with someone else who’s completely different and totally awesome and I couldn’t be happier. I know it sounds like a lie but with time and perspective all wounds can heal.

48. At what age do you want to get married?

I didn’t think I wanted to get married at all. I don’t like the idea of having a big wedding where you’re the center of attention and everyone is starting at you. But in the long run being legally married is practical, so my boyfriend and I will probably do it at some point when we feel like it makes logistic sense.

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

I wanted to be an Imagineer at Disney. They’re the people who design the theme parks. I also wanted to be the president of the moon.

50. What do you crave right now?

Excitement! Nothing is going on in my day right now and I’m starting to get bored. I have a very low tolerance for boredom so days like this really get to me.

10 notes · View notes

stillwaterseas · 5 years

Text

suicide intervention for amateurs

I say “for amateurs” because this is NO SUBSTITUTE for professional intervention, and as you will see, the last step is “get additional/professional help” BUT this is based on 4 years of experience working on a suicide hotline, and adapted from our protocols there.

We live in a meme culture where “I want to die” is a comedy bit, and that’s fine. But it makes watching for actual suicidality in our friends more challenging, especially online. There is a common misconception that people don’t tell anyone if they are contemplating suicide. That’s not true - most people tell someone, they just may not use the words “I’m thinking about killing myself, no really, this isn’t a joke.”

Red flag phrases that I listened for on the crisis line are things like “There’s no point anymore,” “I’m a waste of space,” “I can’t keep doing this.” Of course, those are all concepts that nihilistic millennial and gen Z humor embraces. It is useful to look for escalations and changes in patterns. Someone saying “it’s never been this bad before” or suddenly saying everything is fine when it clearly isn’t.

It’s also ok to err on the side of caution and check in with someone even if you think they are probably joking. Below the cut, find a 4-step guide to asking someone if they are thinking about suicide, and what to do if they say “yes.”

1. ASK THE QUESTION. Reject euphemisms: “are you thinking about doing something stupid?” “don’t do anything rash!” - not useful OR clear! Instead say, “Are you thinking of killing yourself?” Those words are hard to say but get easier with practice. Someone will probably say “yes” “no” or “kinda” which means yes. If no, say, “I’m so glad to hear that, I love you a lot, please know you can talk to me if that ever changes. If yes, precede to step 2.

2. AFFIRM. This is a quick but important step. Say “Thank you for telling me,” and then remind them that YOU are glad they are alive, and you value them in your life. Often people who consider suicide are not being selfish, but genuinely believe that their loved ones would be better off if they were dead. Remind them that this is not true!

3. Make a CURRENT safety check. There are lots of levels of suicidality from ideation to attempt. All of us have thought about killing ourselves at one point or another. It is a very normal thing to consider. There is a difference between “wow wouldn’t it be nice to die” and having a plan. Ask “How seriously are you thinking about it?” or “Do you have a specific plan?” Answers range from ideation (“I think about it but I wouldn’t actually do it”) to specific intent (“I’ve been saving pills.”) This step can also include asking whether they have ever made a prior attempt. Someone who has attempted suicide before is far more likely to try again, than someone is to make a first attempt, and also more likely to succeed.

4. SAFETY PLAN and RESOURCES. You can make a safety plan at any level of ideation-intent. The more serious the intent, the more urgent a safety plan is to make. At its most extreme, a safety plan is “how do we get you through the night alive” or even the next hour. At a milder level, the question might be “what are you going to do next time you feel this way?”

Safety plans are a combination of support, distraction, and resource-seeking. They are personal and unique. A safety plan usually includes a mix of private, personal, and professional resources, and it has an immediate stage and a follow-up stage. The immediate stage involves coping mechanisms to get your friend through the crisis (eat something, listen to music, watch a show, take a hot shower, draw on your body, text other friends) and the follow up is after the crisis has subsided, seeking longer-term support (both personal and professional).

People who struggle with mental health likely already know what coping mechanisms work for them - help them articulate them into a solid plan. Ask questions like “who do you feel safe talking to,” “what makes you laugh,” “how do you calm yourself down when you get upset,” and my personal favorite: “when was the last time you ate something?” Help your friend brainstorm positive, easy activities to pass time, and other people they can reach out to. Combine gentle open-ended questions with reality testing (ie “So you like talking to your aunt. I’m so glad you’re going to call her when you are spiraling. Who else can you call if it happens while she’s at work?” or “Smoking calms you down but I know we’ve talked about how it makes it hard to sleep. Is there another coping mechanism you can use before bed?”)

Here’s where we get to “for amateurs” - you should not try to deal with this alone. A safety plan cannot consist in its entirety of “call me if it gets worse” or “I will stay on the phone with you the whole time you are feeling this way.” That way lies madness - madness I say! That’s why the second part of a safety plan is resource-seeking. These can be more personal resources (other friends, trusted relatives) but there SHOULD be at least some professional resources. If there is affordable access to counseling/therapy/medication, discuss those things. Have part of your plan be “call to make an intake appointment” or “get someone to help me make an intake appointment.” Other professional resources are school counselors and nurses, and crisis hotlines like the one I used to work on. There are also centers for specific concerns like LGBTQ issues, sexual assault, BPD, etc. Some quick googling can turn up resources in your area/language and people at these places are trained and happy to help.

#tw suicide #resource #i'm just tired of watching ppl spin their wheels re: mental health

20 notes · View notes

wendynerdwrites · 6 years

Text

Random Rant about Princess Diana, Prince Charles, and Camilla

Okay, so despite being a gauche, socially progressive American who really doesn’t get why monarchies exist anymore, I am kind of a low-key royal watcher/follower. I was a HUGE fan of/admirer of Princess Diana when I was a little girl and am still a fan of hers in many ways.

But I’m also a fan of Charles and Camilla.

“But how???? Charles and Camilla ruined Diana’s life! They are eeeevil!!!!”

First of all, NO.

Diana Spencer had intense issues way before she hooked up with Charles, for one thing. Her parents had a bitter divorce and custody battle that basically ravaged her childhood. Seriously, at one point her dad was practically holding her hostage away from her mother during Christmas. You think the Wales divorce was messy?... It was. But it was basically just a sequel to Spencer family drama.

By Diana’s own words, she struggled with bulimia from her adolescent years and had severe abandonment issues.

Ever wonder why William’s pet cause is mental health? DIANA IS WHY.

She also grew up among a very specific “set” that included the royal family. She and her sister were playmates to Prince Andrew and Prince Edward. She grew up with the same weirdo aristocratic approach to marriage as them as well which was: pop out an heir and spare, then do whatever.

While she was young and naive and apparently did have a HUGE crush on Charles that resulted in her buying into the fairy tale narrative, she wasn’t the total shrinking violet/know-nothing people sometimes make her out to be. Diana thought she’d be the exception. She was wrong. But she DID enter that marriage with a shit-ton of pre-installed baggage that CHARLES HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH.

Second of all, ALSO NO.

God... This engagement and marriage was made of such crazy fuckery. But Diana was all in, hook, line, and sinker.

Charles, less so. And the situation was just... so fucked, you guys. And, no, sorry, it wasn’t all Charles’s fault. Or Diana’s fault. Or Prince Philip’s fault. But it went like this:

Basically, Chuck was pushing 30, was heir, and had yet to further the royal line, so to speak. It had been nearly a decade since he was formally invested as Prince of Wales. And the issue of him getting hitched had always been... there, but it really got serious as he neared the big 3-0. Especially since his younger sister, Anne, was already married and had a kid. But over the years, he’d had Richard Nixon try to set him up with his daughter and had been geared towards various COUSINS by no less than his “Uncle Dickie” AKA Lord Mountbatten AKA the guy who hooked Prince Philip up with Queen Elizabeth, who was basically Charles’s second Father.

Things got serious as Charles got older, though. Rumors were getting out that he might be gay (remember, this was the late 70′s/early 80′s and Charles is HEIR TO THE THRONE. One factor is/was that Charles is/was a surprisingly progressive dude even then and didn’t bat an eye at employing men who were OPENLY GAY IN THE 70′s. But the thing was, whether or not Charles was gay, if the public believed that, it could have potentially caused a CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS BECAUSE ROYALTY IS ALL OF THE EXTRA)

Charles was into aristocratic blonds... Fine. Perfect... Except for the part where the aristocratic blonds he tended to go for were non-virgins (and therefore completely unsuitable according to his beloved Uncle Dickie)... also married.

...That’s not Camilla, BTW. Camilla was already married to Andrew Parker-Bowles at this point. The lady in the picture there is Lady Dale “Kanga” Tryon, a fashion designer and Charles’s other mistress who actually lived a really interesting life culminating in a super tragic death. We’ll come back to her later.

But basically, Charles had to marry a virginal aristocrat, and fast. So he entered into a sort of courting pool of eligible ladies, at one point dating Lady Sarah Spencer, Diana’s older sister. But Lady Sarah went, “Nah, my sister is WAAAY more into you anyways. Date her.”

Now, if this sounds SUPER CREEPY, ANTIQUATED, AND MESSED UP, EVEN FOR THE 70′S AND 80′S, THAT’S BECAUSE IT IS. THIS IS THE WORLD THESE PEOPLE OPERATED IN, HOWEVER. AND THE ONLY THING MORE INSANE THAN ARISTOCRATS WERE ARISTOCRATS IN THE 70′S AND 80′S. THE ONLY THING MORE INSANE THAN ARISTOCRATS IN THE 70′S AND 80′S WERE THE ONES IN THE 60′S. JUST ASK PRINCESS MARGARET. THIS SHIT IS TAME COMPARED TO THE SHIT CHARLES UNCLE TONY GOT UP TO. POINT IS, THIS WAS WEIRD FROM THE BEGINNING.

Anyways, the two seemed to hit it off, but they were only dating a couple months when the press moved in and started making everything a hundred times crazier. Diana found herself hounded by the press, culminating in the papers slut-shaming her for LITERALLY TAKING AN OVERNIGHT TRIP ON A TRAIN.

This prompted Charles dad, Prince Philip, notorious for choosing his words poorly, basically sending a letter to his son telling him to basically shit or get off the pot before he ruined Diana’s life and reputation. Charles, emotionally stunted and basically terrified of his dad, took this to mean that he HAD to marry her, or he WOULD ruin her life. Keep in mind Diana was SUPER SUPER into him.

WHICH LED TO THIS DISASTER:

Charles went into this marriage feeling bound by duty, figuring Diana was game, that he could make her happy, that he was doing the right thing, and that she’d be along for the ride --- which included the model of marriages they were both used to.

He was VERY WRONG.

Diana went into her marriage completely in love, knowing that Charles had girlfriends, knowing adultery was the norm, believing she’d be a game-changer.

She was technically right, but NOT in the way she imagined. She fell for the fairy-tale Charles thought they were merely selling to the public. She was an emotionally unstable 19-year-old with severe family baggage, and Charles was an emotionally stunted prince with his head shoved right up his royal butt.

What a winner.

THIRD OF ALL, NO.

Remember that Kanga lady from the picture above? Lady Tryon was a business woman and fashion designer. And one of Charles’s mistresses.

She was Camilla’s rival. NOT Diana’s.

See that dress Diana is wearing at Live Aid? Designed by Kanga, Charles’s mistress. Yes, Diana knew who Kanga was and the nature of her relationship with Charles. At this point, Diana was cured of her delusions and was onto her own affairs. She and Kanga became friends and basically allied against Camilla.

At this point, Diana accepted that she and her husband would not be faithful to one another (it’s worth noting that during the early years of their marriage, both of them WERE supposedly faithful. Charles had his last run-in with Camilla the night before the wedding and kept away from both her and Kanga at least until Harry was conceived. But he also basically told Diana at that point that eventually, he’d be bed-hopping again. Basically, he knew Diana would have to be faithful until an heir and spare were produced and seemed to consider it fair play that he not indulge while she couldn’t. If that sounds completely fucked up THAT’S BECAUSE IT WAS). She gradually stopped caring about Charles cheating. She just hated that it was with Camilla. She very quickly embarked on a string of affairs of her own.

----And yes, Charles was a douche. He was also dealing with a wife he did NOT understand who had severe mental health issues.

Diana did things like call Camilla late at night to tell her that there was a man waiting outside, hired to kill her. She would also sometimes abscond with Baby Harry and William without telling Charles or anyone. Not a big deal in a normal family. But they’re royalty. So basically, she was happy to let her husband go into a panic about his sons possibly being kidnapped because he had no idea where the fuck they were. Keep in mind that Charles’s own sister was nearly abducted in 1974 by a gunman and that in 1982, THE VERY YEAR WILLIAM WAS BORN, a man had snuck into the Queen’s bed in the middle of the night carrying a shard of broken glass. So, yeah, Diana grabbing the boys and taking them to Windsor Castle without telling anyone, including her husband? SUPER SHITTY.

Charles tried to get Diana help, but she didn’t trust him whatsoever (because of course she fucking didn’t, no one would). Diana didn’t start getting proper help for her mental health issues until the separation. But she was prone to fits of extreme paranoia and rage, at one point culminating in her physically attacking Charles while he was praying.

Point is, she had a lot of troubles and instabilities. While Charles and Camilla certainly did not HELP, this was shit that went back years and years. Granted, that WAS exacerbated by royal life, but much of that was the strain of royal work --- constant travel, unending media scrutiny, a ton of fame all at once --- and the intense workload she was given when she became Princess of Wales did not help, either. Diana was young, troubled, and had a ton of issues.

BUT

Charles did not ruin her life. Nor did Camilla. Especially since Diana was kind of a badass.

(Pictured: Badass Diana badassing through her badass post-divorce life like a badass)

She wasn’t a Rhodes Scholar, but she was a freaking genius at handling the press and an unparalleled activist. And she got some terrific revenge on her cheating husband, too. She nearly bankrupted him in the divorce (Charles had to borrow money from the queen) and turned him into a villain in the eyes of the press.

Once out of royal life, she felt comfortable enough to get help. She got joint custody of the kids. She found great fulfillment in her activism and did some really fantastic things for causes like AIDS and land mines. She had a string of hot, rich boyfriends who spoiled the crap out of her and she was adored the world over by almost EVERYONE. That even included her ex-father-in-law, Prince Philip, who still signed his letters to her as “Pa.”

Charles nor Camilla could NEVER have hoped to ruin her life. She had too much of it. Diana’s life was ruined by a drunk driver, some paparazzi, and a traffic accident.

(And to those who want to claim that the royal family had her killed: kindly fuck off. Mohammed Fayed has had his case dismissed repeatedly despite numerous appeals and investigations. The only way Prince Philip would have had Diana killed would be if he REALLY REALLY wanted to end the monarchy. Somehow I don’t think an exiled prince-turned-royal-consort wants that. There was nothing the royal family wanted more than to see Diana married off to some rich guy and fade into the background. The LAST thing they would want is for Willam and Harry’s mother to die tragically young and cement herself as an eternal legend. Diana’s death was a fucking nightmare for the BRF personally as well as professionally).

Charles and Camilla, meanwhile?

Camilla kept her head down and did quiet work for osteoperosis research after her mother was afflicted with it. Since becoming Duchess of Cornwall, she’s done extensive work on behalf of rape and sexual assault survivors. Among her initiatives was developing “wash bags” consisting of soaps and towels for victims to use after undergoing their rape kits.

Charles spent years being decried as a complete kook for being all worked up over stupid non-issues you might have heard of --- things like “climate change”, “sustainable farming”, “organic foods”, “the ozone layer” and a supposed “housing crisis” in Britain. Oh, and his lifelong project, The Prince’s Trust, is only one of the most important charitable organizations in the Western World.

youtube

So yeah, if I have to hear one more comment about EEEEEEVIL Charles and Camilla ruining poor, wilting flower Diana’s life again, I’ll see red. It’s insulting to all three of them.

(Once again, for the record, I think monarchy is outdated and dumb, But if you are going to have one, your heir to the throne should be a Charles. Or a Victoria. But if you can’t have a Victoria, you should have a Charles.)

#princess diana #prince charles #camilla parker-bowles #camilla duchess of cornwall #brf #british royal family #royals

2K notes · View notes

nonbinarypastels · 6 years

Text

About & FAQ Page

This page was last updated on July 31, 2018

About nonbinarypastels

This blog was created to combat REG (reactionary, exclusionist, gatekeeping) politics in the LGBTQIA+ community as well as other forms of harmful conservative rhetoric that’s become so common on tumblr through the spreading of positivity and information based posts. My goal for this blog is not only to validate and support LGBTQIA+ people (and people of all marginalized identities) but also to encourage people to be more accepting of others, more able to think critically about all issues, and more passionate about making a positive difference not only in their own lives but the lives of those around them.

What I post about

Positivity — Not only nonbinary positivity but positivity for all LGBTQIA+ identities and other people as well.

Social Justice/Politics

Mental Health/Mental Illness

Critical Thinking Skills

Fandom/Media

Miscellaneous Other Topics

If you’re only here for positivity

Please blacklist the #not positivity and #discourse tw tags.

Things you should know before you follow this blog

This blog is inclusionist. I believe that all aromantics and asexuals belong in the LGBTQIA+ community. I’m also firmly against other exclusionary rhetoric that seeks to exclude any non-cishet (by which I mean non cisgender, heteromantic, AND heterosexual) group from the community.

This blog supports creative freedom and a safe fandom environment. I don’t care what kind of fiction people write/read or what they ship as long as all of their content is tagged properly and kept in appropriate spaces. While I think media criticism and having civil discussions about what we’re writing and reading and why is a good thing, I think the ‘anti’ community on tumblr totally crosses the line with their behavior which goes beyond legitimate media criticism and straight into cyberbullying and harassment.

This blog does not support radical feminism. Radical feminism is a harmful conservative movement that harms and attempts to control the lives of marginalized people. I do not support any form of radfem rhetoric.

This blog does not support trasnmedicalsim or truscum. These are groups that actively harm trans and nonbinary people by pushing reductionist, transphobic rhetoric and policing the identities of trans and nonbinary people.

This blog is queer positive. I will not censor the word queer or exclude queer people from this blog or the community.

Please do not send me messages

About any medical or life-threatening emergencies you might be having. I am not a doctor and cannot give medical advice and there’s also no guarantee I’ll be online when you send your message. If you’re in a life-threatening situation please contact the relevant local authorities (either 911 or your country’s equivalent) or get to a hospital immediately.

Calling out people I reblog from or who are reblogging from me about anything having to do with ships or fanfiction. As stated above, I don’t care what people ship or write/read as long as it’s properly tagged and not posted in inappropriate spaces. Any messages I get about “so-and-so ships ___” will be deleted.

About anything having to do with MAP discourse. I am a CSA survivor and am generally not comfortable discussing or reading about MAPs.

Telling me that a-specs “aren’t actually lgbt” or anything similar. You will automatically be blocked for being an aphobe.

Saying there are only two genders. You will automatically be blocked for being boring.

Asking me questions that have already been answered on this page. I made this FAQ for a reason. Any asks I get containing questions that I’ve already answered (or asking for definitions of terms that are listed in the glossary) will be deleted.

———————————————————————————— General Questions Do you have a question about what a certain term means?

Please check the glossary page to see if I have a definition already listed. If the term you’re looking for is not in the glossary, please feel free to send me an ask about it.

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/172930687066/glossary-page

Are you feeling down and need to be cheered up?

Please check the self care tag for posts you might find helpful.

http://www.nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/tagged/self+care

Why do you put image descriptions on your posts?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/165370079304/can-i-ask-why-you-provide-image-descriptions-i

Who is that in your icon?

Deadpool from Marvel comics

Icon by http://www.wadewicons.tumblr.com/

Do you take requests?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/172930396816/requests-page

Who are you/what is your main blog?

Considering how nasty I’ve seen discourse about the identities I’m trying to provide positivity for get and the things I’ve seen other blogs similar to this one having to deal with, I’m not comfortable disclosing the link to my main blog. I value my privacy and my safety and I hope my followers can respect that.

What are your pronouns?

Any pronouns other than it/itself are okay. I have no other preferences.

Are you a minor?

No.

Can people who aren’t nonbinary interact with this blog? Can cis people?

Anyone, nonbinary or not, is allowed to follow nonbinarypastels and reblog from us. Not only am I okay with cis people following this blog and reblogging from it, I 100% encourage them to do so. I think it’s important that not only do LGBTQIA+ people support ourselves and those who ID the same as us but that we support people of different identities and just as much I also think it’s vital for cis people to show that they support us. I think cis people reblogging positivity posts for people who aren’t cis is an excellent way to show that.

Can I interact with this blog if my blog is about ___?

I don’t care if your tumblr is 99% cute crayon drawings of pretty flowers or drawings of kinky furry porn, if you like the posts here or need them or want to spread the positivity with your followers I have no problem with you following + reblogging from this blog.

Can I share your posts on other sites?

Feel 100% free to share my posts on Twitter, Facebook, or other social media. Credit + a link back is appreciated but it’s not required. However, please do NOT upload my posts to sites such as redbubble, storeenvy, or other sites where you’ll be selling them to others.

Can I use your posts in moodboards/aesthetics posts?

Yes!

Where do you get the pictures for your image posts?

https://www.pexels.com/

http://www.unsplash.com

Why the pineapples?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/168615228296/hello-ive-noticed-your-recent-posts-about

——————————————————————————- Call Me Out Would you like to tell me that the term ‘a-spec’ was stolen from autistics and that it’s problematic to use it to refer to ace/aro people?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/162255685756/hey-idk-if-you-were-aware-of-this-but-you-have-a

Would you like to tell me to stop including the ‘I’ in the LGBTQIA+ acronym?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/161388049611/you-do-realize-that-like-a-lot-of-intersex-people

Would you like to tell me that butch and femme are lesbian-specific words and no one else has the right to use them?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169789232996/nonbinarypastels-since-i-keep-getting-anons-wrt

Would you like to tell me not to use queer as an umbrella term?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/165557176711/hey-uh-sorry-if-this-is-too-much-to-ask-but-dont

Why are you intolerant towards conservatives?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169509757921/being-an-intolerant-jerk-about-conservatives-and

—————————————————————————– Questioning Do you have tips for figuring out your gender identity?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160444273391/any-tips-to-give-to-help-someone-to-figure-out

Is it okay to use they/them pronouns if I’m still questioning my gender and might be cis?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/162316760041/i-feel-comfy-using-theythem-but-i-dont-know-if-im

I want to question my gender but I’m afraid I’m faking it all?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169375568051/hi-i-always-thought-i-was-a-cis-guy-but-ive

———————————————————————————– About Being Trans + Nonbinary Are nonbinary people trans?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160443055731/do-you-consider-nb-to-be-a-part-of-the-trans

Am I still agender if I have feminine interests/hobbies?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/159863843416/i-identify-as-agender-but-i-also-like-girl

Can you be lunarian and agender?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/159119628926/can-i-be-a-lunarian-agender-or-does-that-like

How do you deal with nbphobia?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/161289280081/tw-transphobia-tw-ableist-slur-tw-r-word-do

What do I do if my friends are nbphobic?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/161290197211/one-of-my-best-friends-is-a-radical-feminist-i

What’s the difference between being nonbinary and being a tomboy?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170485614676/im-having-a-mild-identity-crisis-whats-the

Can you be nonbinary and prefer she/her or he/him pronouns?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170449570882/hi-im-someone-who-identifies-as-non-binary-ive

Are nonbinary people to blame for trans people not being taken seriously?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/161287284091/how-do-you-respond-to-people-who-say-nbs-are-the

How do I deal with people saying nonbinary people are responsible for trans people being made fun of?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/167977849726/hey-i-got-some-really-messed-up-enbyphobic-anon

Is trans day of visibility for nonbinary people too?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/159055092686/sorry-if-this-is-stupid-is-trans-day-of

Is there any proof there are more than two genders?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170985650804/sgaprivilege-sonoanthony-hatingongodot

Do you think it’s fetishizing for people to say they’re attracted to nonbinary people?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170815582801/whats-your-take-on-the-claim-that-mlnbwlnb-are

Am I still trans/nonbinary if I didn’t always know from a young age?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169845692030/hi-okay-so-im-trans-nonbinary-and-i-noticed-that

Am I still nonbinary if I never want to come out?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169159856571/can-i-still-be-nb-if-i-dont-plan-on-coming-out-to

How do I overcome internalized nbphobia?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169128988716/do-you-have-any-tips-on-overcoming-internalized

What can I call the nonbinary person I’m dating other than boyfriend/girlfriend?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/164729025088/hi-i-dont-know-if-you-guys-answer-questions-but

What’s your opinion on “there are only two genders” jokes?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169533948384/hey-i-was-wondering-if-you-might-be-able-to-give

Who is allowed to ID as nblm/nblw/nblnb? Do I have to have a certain alignment to ID with these terms?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/175370970607/hi-im-a-asexual-biromantic-agender-person-and

———————————————————————————- About Presentation + Dysphoria

Do you have any tips for dealing with dysphoria?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171870400516/urgent-im-a-non-passing-pre-everything-trans

What’s the difference between social dysphoria and body dysphoria?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171770067231/whats-the-difference-between-social-dysphoria-and

How can I write about trans/nonbinary characters who have dysphoria?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/163261302706/hello-there-nonbinary-questioning-black-anon

How can I bind safely if I can’t afford to buy a binder?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160277656876/hello-i-came-here-because-i-wanted-to-ask-if-you

Do you have any advice about buying your first binder?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171412780521/advice-for-somebody-who-is-getting-their-first

How can I look more androgynous?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160850193236/do-you-have-any-advice-for-nonbinary-teens-who

Is it normal to want top surgery but not want to take T?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/168600610588/is-it-normal-for-a-nonbinary-person-to-want-top

What can I do if I hate my voice?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169110950161/hey-i-am-non-binary-and-14-years-old-i-was

I want to change my hair but I’m afraid people will hate it?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/166569911301/hey-i-recently-came-out-as-non-binary-i-really

—————————————————————————— About Sexuality How can you be sex-repulsed without being asexual?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/159348049986/how-can-you-be-sex-repulsed-but-not-asexual

Can you be in a queerplatonic relationship if you’re not ace/aro?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171758800972/can-you-have-a-qpr-if-youre-not-acearo

What’s the difference between demisexuality and regular attraction?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160198336046/whats-the-differrence-between-demisexual-and-just

Is pansexuality transphobic/biphobic?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160201643591/hi-i-just-want-to-tell-that-i-heard-someone-say

Do bisexuals have straight-passing privilege?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/163139939492/hey-there-i-was-wondering-if-you-can-help-me

Can you be asexual and still like masturbation?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171408739131/so-i-was-wondering-could-you-be-asexual-and

Can you be wlw and mlm at the same time?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171269548272/hi-im-confused-this-is-a-genuine-question-pls

Can you be nblw, nblm, and nblnb at the same time?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171158368762/i-identify-as-a-nblw-nblnb-and-nblm-is-that

How can lesbians use he/him pronouns?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170496057755/this-is-an-ignorant-question-so-i-apologize

What is the split attraction model?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169931000321/hello-i-was-reading-that-post-about-asexual-stuff

———————————————————————— About Coming Out

Are you looking for coming out tips and encouragement? Please check my coming out tag!

http://www.nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/tagged/coming+out

Is it okay to come out to my friends before my family?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160086167706/i-am-trans-and-came-out-to-one-of-my-friends-who

How do I explain being nonbinary to my parents when they just don’t get it?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/168598203993/ive-accepted-im-nonbinary-and-my-parents-know

Do you have any advice for coming out as nonbinary?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171342286106/hey-any-advice-on-how-to-come-out-to-my-dad-as

How do I come out to my parents?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170782185301/hi-i-identify-is-non-binary-and-i-know-for-sure

How do I get my parents to use my name/pronouns and accept me?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/168598203993/ive-accepted-im-nonbinary-and-my-parents-know

——————————————————————————

Fandom & Fandom Discourse Related

What is an anti?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171868269706/what-is-an-anti-i-had-always-heard-that-anti

What have antis ever done wrong?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171966569929/shipping-isnt-morality-block-report-program

How can I deal with antis who are harassing me?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171974140371/hi-sorry-to-bother-you-i-was-looking-through

Do you support pedophilic ships?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170196527876/wait-you-support-pedophilic-ships-thats-gross

What’s your opinion about MAP discourse?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171209629491/so-what-do-you-think-of-maps-then-the-ones-who

If you’re not a bad person, why do you like bad things in fiction?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/164750728921/about-your-post-on-how-liking-certain-fiction

What is purity culture?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169710243376/do-you-know-whenhowwhy-purity-culture-started

What is your opinion on RPF?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/175123194126/i-wasnt-able-to-find-anything-on-your-blog-about

What is fujoshi discourse?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/174877862940/i-just-saw-someone-reference-fake-fujoshi-blogs

——————————————————————— Misc. How do you handle ignorance?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160627538536/how-do-you-handle-ignorance-im-too-scared-to

What’s an invisible disability?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/163099887223/hey-i-have-a-quick-question-whats-an-invisible

What is TERF/radfem rhetoric?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169015697831/on-radfemreg-rhetoric

How do I know if I have an eating disorder?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171664946546/ed-tw-i-guess-mmmm-since-i-was-young-ive

What’s the difference between being squicked and being triggered?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171341992144/um-so-ive-been-wondering-if-feeling-physically

How do you deal with bigots?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170516017459/exposure-to-identities-really-is-the-best-way-to

Why can’t someone be both anti-SWERF and anti-kink?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170011993907/hey-quick-q-feel-free-to-ignore-but-i-had-a-post

When was gay used as a slur?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/166431435436/hello-i-just-saw-your-post-that-i-think-was-from

How do you find out about the free samples you post?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/163522947367/hey-this-isnt-about-anything-nonbinary-but-i-was

What is your opinion on self-diagnosis?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/175045406707/what-are-your-thoughts-on-self-diagnosis-ive-been

#about page #faq page #mod post #long post

94 notes · View notes

humansun · 3 years

Text

Why I Love Sophia Chang, The Baddest Bitch in the Room

“If you truly believe it, that energy emanates when you walk into a room. My hope is that someday every woman will feel as mightily about herself as we do.” - Sophia Chang

Baddest Bitch in the Room is a memoir written by Sophia Chang, a Korean-Canadian music manager of the Wu-Tang Clan, kung fu warrior, mother of two, and an influential leader in the Asian-American community. This book takes readers through her adventurous life, going through the ups and the downs in her entertainment and management career as well as personal experiences with romance and motherhood.

I first learned about Sophia when cruising through the rabbit hole of Youtube shortly after my college graduation. It must have been a video that was labeled “First Asian woman in hip-hop” which I thought was different and really awesome. Fast forward to learning about her non-profit, Unlock Her Potential, following her on the gram, and reading her memoir, I now want to recap the power she brings to the world through her confidence, ambition, and boldness.

Sophia embodies bravery. In her early 20's, she ventures out from her hometown Vancouver to begin a journey in New York, where she knows little to no one. In the East Coast, she networks her way through music artists she admires, driven by pure passion for music. She ends up meeting Wu-Tang Clan and they take her in as a family member immediately.

During her time working with the legendary hip-hop group, she built loyal friendship and family bonds while also being authentic, expressing her vulnerability, and spreading love wherever she went. Sophia navigated her own identity crisis and confronted the beauty of herself while witnessing the power of hip-hop to all marginalized communities.

“...Hip-hop was the first time I’d seen people of color telling their own stories as opposed to seeing them through the dominant white males lens of Hollywood. These artists were so physically assertive--stomping their feet, slapping their chests, and the ultimate B-boy stance: arms crossed high, hands tucked into the armpits, feet apart. This kind of unapologetic bearing was completely novel to me, an Asian woman who had been trained to shrink herself to accommodate others. It all spoke to an exhortation to be seen as they wanted to be seen. And unlike me, they were so proud of who and what they were."

I feel some Asian cultures encourage their women to shrink themselves to make them more invisible and attract less attention. The pressure to be quiet is damaging and causes us to erase our voice as well as devalue our own presence in every room we are in. Acknowledging her own fears, Sophia demands that each person’s voice has value at the table, especially her own. Her bold, unapologetic nature becomes a daily radical act as she blazes her own path.

The book takes readers through the grief of losing loved ones to death and highlights the importance of supporting those who battle with issues of addiction and mental health disorders. When I tie this in with All About Love by bell hooks, I am reminded of how addiction can be with drugs, alcohol, sex, money, and external validation. When the people we love are experiencing addiction or mental health problems, it’s important to always take it seriously and to also take care of ourselves to prevent the deterioration of our own well-being.

Another aspect of the book I found to be reveling was her desire to live for those who have passed. She took pain and grief and recycled that into abundant waste. Waste that was healing a wound and turning negative energy into positive energy. Sophia is an example of someone who understands suffering as a natural state of living, but actively transforms pain into opportunity in her mind and actions.

In addition, she entrances readers through her tumultuous love life and talks about missing a partner of many years: “I never wavered on my decision to leave, but swore that I still loved Yan Ming. I recalled all the magical moments -- the trip, the training, the children--they were real! And then I had a simple, stunning revelation: This isn’t love, Sophia, it’s nostalgia.”

For some reason, that line hit me so hard. Nostalgia?! Too accurate. I spend time missing people who have hurt me and reflect on the good times when the bad times were filled with just as much pain, anger, and trauma. Sophia was able to take a feeling I denied and put it exactly into words for me to confront that same reality.

“I try very hard not to be motivated by fear and I have my titanium confidence to thank for that...I am not allowing the dominant culture to tell me who I am; I am defining myself and telling the world who I am.”

What captivated me most about Sophia from the very beginning was her confidence and conviction. She has ambition, kindness, and an unapologetic boldness - balancing “living my best life” energy while also changing the world in every step. Overall, this memoir was a thorough read about an amazing adventure written by a brave and legendary woman. I look forward to seeing where life continues to take her! (And hopefully, for me to meet her as her mentee!)

#booktime

0 notes