#which is controlling others and humiliating people who try to in-group themself when they don't ~deserve~ the community...

[uncanny-tranny]

honestly i've always been wondering if i was a trans man or a nonbinary guy ever since i found out i was trans. i don't know whether i identified as a transmasc enby to fold myself into the community's criteria of what a good person is, and i feel like i've kinda lost myself at this point

I'm going to be real for a minute to say that the concept of "what is a good [x] identity" is fucking bullshit, and if it's something you worry about, it will frankly just bring you down more than anything else, including the wondering of "am I [x] identity?"

You will find your people. You will find people who accept where you are now. It's okay to not be totally sure where you are in your identity, but the people who want to control what you identify as don't have your best interest at heart.

I won't tell you what to ID as because I genuinely cannot be convinced to say "you are [x]" with a good heart. What I always encourage is for you to explore that, and if you're worried about finding community, just know that not every community will be the worst toward you. Your concerns are important to consider, but I truly hope it doesn't hinder you from being true to who you are.

I presume this was your concern about your understanding of yourself, but if not, I apologize for the misunderstanding. Regardless, your queerness is yours first and foremost. Nobody has any claim over it, nobody has authority over you about it.

#ask #anon #trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #what is a good enby/transmasc/enby transmasc?: anybody who identifies as one #the whole 'this is how to be a GOOD [x]' almost always delves into the worst impulses of people #which is controlling others and humiliating people who try to in-group themself when they don't ~deserve~ the community... #...and so many other things. worrying about that is completely understandable but i do not want people to take it so seriously... #...that it impedes their ability to understand themselves... #...are there shitty people who would exclude you because they don't think you ~deserve it~? maybe... #...but those people genuinely don't fucking matter and they're likely already miserable in their own understanding of themself... #...people who are genuinely okay with themselves and their community and queerness *tend to* not give a fuck about your own understanding #let yourself be a bit selfish about YOUR queerness #like i can be really protective over my own queerness only because it's been denied to me for so fucking long and it's like... #...why would i *want* to go from being denied queerness from cishet people to have the same thing happen but from other queer people?