#which figures because it's also the worst

[midnightcrw]

Provocative

Pairing: Alastor x fem!reader

Summary: Lucifer visits the Hazbin Hotel because his daughter called him, but there he sees a good friend he hasn't seen in a long time.

Warnings: Swearing

a/n: I know it's been a long time, but I just couldn't get myself to write anything because of my finals coming up and everything else going on. I also didn't want to write a bad third part, so I only wanted to write when I had some motivation to do so. I hope you all will like it. Part 1 / Part 2

If you had known that one day you would see Mimzy again, you would have been the most holy person in your mortal days, and unfortunately, you weren't.

And as soon as everyone in the hotel registered the short woman's appearance, Lucifer dropped his grip on your hand, looking almost fearfully at your expression, which probably said more than a thousand words.

"Why is everybody gawking? Is it cuz I'm adorable?" The woman playfully said while posing as you gritted your teeth.

And not even a second later, Alastor immediately stopped holding your hand, "Mimzy!" The happiness was more than obvious in his tone.

"Alastor, sweetie, doll face!" In your mind you were already imagining how you could break every bone in her body. "How have you been? Good? Good," she said as she put her arms around your husband.

They even squeezed each other as they made contented sounds. "You good?" Lucifer whispered in your ear as you could almost feel your eye twitch.

"Splendid," you murmured back as the Ruler of Hell continued to look at you uncertainly, but your eyes never left the pair.

"I heard you were staying at this ritzy slob factory and I figured I'd stop by, say hi! For old times sake" you hated the way she talked about Charlie's hotel as the blonde walked even closer to Alastor, if that was even possible.

"Of course, Sweetheart! Everyone is welcome here" the enthusiasm still didn't leave your husband's voice as you balled your fists tightly.

"'Everyone is welcome' my ass," Lucifer muttered hatefully, squinting his eyes at the man dressed in red.

When Charlie asked how they knew each other, you tried to hold back as best you could, you knew what was coming.

And the moment Mimzy heard the question, an even bigger smile appeared on her face "Oh yeah. We go way back."

A little too far back, you thought.

"You know, this one used to frequent the club where I used to perform. He's the only one I knew who could pound whiskey like a sailor and then keep up with me on the dance floor," her theatrics continued as she did a little dance and received a compliment from Alastor.

"Ho ho, you should have seen her in her heyday," oh, how you wished you hadn't seen her then.

You remembered everything perfectly. Mimzy and Alastor knew each other before you married him, and you met her through him.

Alastor was always a huge fan of music, especially the music that was played at the club where Mimzy used to work. And one day he had had taken you out on a date. Of course you were excited at first, you had never been to that club before, you were expecting something spectacular since your husband was always talking about it.

And oh, how spectacular it was, Mimzy practically throwing herself at your husband like it was nothing. Now, you really weren't a jealous person, but the short woman brought out the worst in you.

At first you really tried to like her, but with every backhanded compliment, you began to truly despise her more and more.

It was obvious that she had a crush on Alastor, and that crush probably never really went away, or she just wanted to get you mad by sticking to him like glue.

"Oh, oh, my stars," she made her way to Lucifer as soon as she saw him, and you immediately made your way to Alastor while she was distracted.

"You never told me she was here," you said in a snippy tone as you approached him until you and him were face to face, just with you having to look up due to his height.

"My sweet, of course Mimzy would be in hell," he only said as he looked at the chubby woman who was currently engrossed in a conversation Lucifer had no interest in.

Before you could snap at him, the annoying voice was heard once more, "No way!" Mimzy shouted loudly as she made her way towards you, deliberately swaying her hips.

And before you could prepare, the short woman hugged you tightly as she stood on her tiptoes to lean closer to you, "Still the jealous little wench, I see," she snickered as you bit your tongue.

"Ah, just like old days," Alastor's smile still remained on his face as he looked at the two of you, obviously not having heard what his friend had just said to you.

I'll show you the old days, you thought when Mimzy finally let go of you. And then you all remembered that the tour of the hotel had to continue.

"Why don't you let the others help you settle in and I'll be back before you know it," your husband said to Mimzy as he took your hand and led you to Charlie and her dad.

"Behave," Alastor whispered in your ear as his static returned and you could only scoff.

"I'm the one who should behave?! Look at you!" You whispered back, even digging your nails into the hand that was currently holding yours.

And while the tension between the two of you didn't go away, Mimzy already started talking to the others at the bar.

"How ya been, fur-ball?" She asked as she leaned her elbows against the bar, holding her face up with her hands.

"Good until five minutes ago" Husk wasn't happy about the whole situation, just like you, and it was obvious, and clearly ignoring his mood, she turned around to ask what Niffty has been up to.

"I never understood why you liked her so much," you said, keeping the frown on your face as Alastor let go of your hand and wrapped his arm around your waist while Lucifer glared at him as Charlie showed him around.

"Jealous, aren't you?" He asked with his piercing smile, having already expected this reaction from you.

"She's the last person I would be jealous of," you snapped back, but in reality you knew she was everything you were ever jealous of.

Not only was she popular, but she was beautiful and confident. All the things you couldn't see for yourself.

Suddenly, Alastor laughed, even softly, I might add, as his hand rubbed your hip, "As it should be, you have nothing to be jealous of, love," your eyes widened.

He has never called you "love" before, unless it was to get attention or to make your marriage more believable decades ago.

"Uh-huh... Thanks, pussy cat!" Mimzy said as she drank from the glass.

"Oh, fuck you" was the only thing Husk replied with as he walked away while Angel Dust made his way to the bar.

"So uh, you and Alastor are like what? Friends?"

A grin made its way across her face, "Well, that's your word, not mine, but I think it fits," Angel Dust didn't seem too convinced as he sipped from his glass, which didn't seem to make Mimzy too happy.

"Why so surprised?" She grunted as Angel Dust responded with "Well, just didn't know he had any of those. He's been here a while and is still a big, creepy mystery. I really don't know how his his wife handles him. What even is his deal?"

At the mention of you, her face fell for a split second, but she regained her composure as she began to tell them about when Alastor revealed himself as the Radio Demon.

"But underneath is all... he's a total sweetie. Put on some jazz and pour a couple fingers of rye, and he becomes a kitten!"

Sir Pentious and Angel Dust looked at her in shock, since that part didn't sound like the Overlord they knew.

And once the tour was over and they made their way back to the bar.

"There you all are! I was starting to get real bored here," Mimzy's voice was slowly starting to make you mad once more.

"Finally," Husk grunted as he wiped the glass in his hands clean while Mimzy continued to talk.

"I bet she was the reason it took so long," obviously referring to you as she glared, "Nothing's been the same since the marriage," the short woman ranted, while you rolled your eyes at her as you suddenly felt Alastor's hand graze your back.

Looking up at him, his eyes were a fraction softer for once, as you couldn't look away.

"Since the marriage?" Lucifer asked, clearly confused as to what was being discussed.

"Their marriage, of course," Mimzy said with disgust in her voice as she nodded towards you and Alastor.

"You're married?!" Lucifer yelled as you flinched at the sudden loudness, while Alastor rubbed your arm in reassurance.

Fuck... you thought.

Taglist

@l0ca1ax010t1

@itsmskeisha

@nightlydream

@randomuser-89

@explosionkatsu

@nonetheartist

@anuttellaa

@angelxx7

@karolinda007-blog

@fairyv-ice

@chewbrry

@cryptidghostgirl

@harmfulb1tch

@crowleysthings

@fandomfan-102

@readergirlstuff

@wendds

@lucifers-silhouette

@droopingdatura

#alastor fluff #alastor x you #alastor imagine #alastor fanfiction #alastor x reader #alastor #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel oneshots #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #alastor x y/n #hazbin hotel x y/n

[littledata]

@princington's amazing art brought me back to this fic so have a little extra for them.

There are many, many terrible things about dating Beatrice.

For example: she manages to wake up at six AM every single morning to go jogging and comes home looking sweaty and sexy while Ava is still dealing with bedhead. She's also organised to the point of insanity and remembers every important date, even the ones Ava didn't realise she knew (like the date she opened the coffee shop. They hadn't even met for fuck's sake), and manages to swoop in with a thoughtful gift or kind word to mark the occasion. Meanwhile, Ava is still scribbling DON'T FORGET DENTIST - TUESDAY?? on the back of her hand like a high schooler.

And if all of that wasn't horrible enough, even after almost a year of dating, Beatrice can still roll up the cuffs of her sleeves or adjust her glasses or recite some complicated piece of research, and Ava winds up hopelessly turned on in public on the regular.

It sucks, actually. Ava's life is awful.

None of that is the worst part of it though. The worst part of dating Beatrice, who is sexy and thoughtful and intelligent, is that she's fucking impossible to buy gifts for.

Beatrice doesn't actually want anything is half the problem. She reads a lot of books but she mostly checks them out from the university library. She drinks a lot of tea, but Ava runs a coffee shop. If her girlfriend wants tea, she has a store room full of it. Other than that, she mostly likes crosswords, the gym, her friends, and… well. Ava.

It's making planning for the first birthday Beatrice has had since they've been together exceptionally stressful. Particularly since Ava knows for a fact that Beatrice's parents believed in a "socks and school supplies" style of gift giving which, as far as she's concerned, barely even count.

"What are you getting Bea for her birthday?" she whispers conspiriatorially to Camila one Saturday afternoon in Mary and Shannon's back yard. Beatrice herself is bouncing the baby on her knee and debating some obscure scientific hypothesis - something about mold. Ava is surprised to find she actually has an opinion on the topic. Probably all those mold documentaries.

Camila snorts, "Have you just figured out she's impossible to buy for?"

"Yes," Ava stresses, "C'mon, what are you getting her? And if it's really good I'm stealing your idea."

"Oh no." Camila shakes her head, "It took me all year to think of something. You're on your own."

"Cam." Ava tries her best pleading, puppy dog eyes. They don't work nearly as well on Camila as they do on Beatrice.

"Ava." Camila pats her hand comiseratingly, "Just get her what every self-respecting lesbian wants for their birthday."

Ava frowns, "Power tools?"

Camila smirks, "Strap-on and lingerie."

So that conversation was entirely useless - mostly because Ava already owns more than enough of both those things and they sort of seem like a gift for both of them more than just Beatrice. And more than anything else, Ava wants her girlfriend to feel special. Like she's worth something great that's for her and only her.

Shannon is her next port of call. Ava corners her in the kitchen where she's refilling drinks and, probably pre-warned by Camila, looks entirely unsurprised to be accosted.

"We normally order some of the gross British candy she likes," Shannon informs her. "And before you even try it - she knows that's what we get her every year, so don't try and steal the idea."

Ava groans despondently, "I'm hitting a wall here. What the fuck do you buy for someone who doesn't actually want anything?"

Beatrice does always say that her best friend is unreasonably logical and practical in her advice. For the first time, Ava understands her plight when Shannon shrugs and says, "Have you tried asking her?"

With nothing else to do, Ava tries. Admittedly, she probably picks a bad time to do it: she's shirtless and sitting cross-legged on their bed while Beatrice massages lotion into the new tattoo on her shoulder. Bea's fingers are gentle and thorough and very, extremely distracting.

"Hey," Ava says a little breathlessly, her eyes closed, "What do you want for your birthday?"

Beatrice, because she is Beatrice, says, "You don't have to get me anything."

Typical. This is why dating her is so difficult. "Obviously I do," Ava points out. "For my birthday you took me to a theme park even though it's your idea of actual, literal hell." Bea had even bought and worn a t-shirt that said "I RODE THE BIG ONE". Camila has the photograph framed in her office.

"Not actual, literal hell," Beatrice argues, "I enjoyed that you had fun."

"There's really nothing you want?" Ava asks.

Disappointingly, Beatrice's fingers stop their movement and she puts a cap on the lotion, moving off the bed behind Ava. "Is this what you were whispering with Camila and Shannon about earlier?"

"Maybe. They weren't helpful."

Beatrice's smile is affectionate, "They never are." She leans in to kiss her, her hand landing on Ava's bare shoulder and skirting over her neck, "I'd like to spend my birthday with you. That's all."

Ava wraps her arms aroud her shoulders and sighs, "Dating you is the worst."

"Mm, awful," Beatrice agrees, kissing the corner of her mouth and then her jaw. "Shall we break up?"

"Yep." Ava turns her head to press their lips together again and uses her distraction to lie back, pulling Beatrice down on top of her. "We're over."

(On her birthday, they drink tea in bed and do a crossword puzzle with Ava's head on Beatrice's shoulder. Later, they wander through a museum eating wine gums and holding hands. At Shannon and Mary's place, Beatrice unwraps the cordless drill that Ava bought for her.

"Thank you," she says, "It's just what I wanted.")

(Ava saves the strap-on and lingerie for later.)

#warrior nun #avatrice #extra writing

[honeygrahambitch]

One for sorrow, two for joy

Plot: Will and Hannibal are having a difficult but very needed conversation the day before the birth of their surrogate child.

"Hello." Will said as he sat next to Hannibal on the porch of their house. The sun was casting its final rays before completely hiding before the mountains. "Just so you know, we are not the worst parents on earth because we don't have a name for our kid. I've read many stories where parents just knew exactly when they saw their baby for the first time. And that will be our case as well."

Hannibal had been out there sitting on his own for most of the day, which was exactly why Will had decided to join him with two glasses of white wine. Hannibal accepted his in silence. He didn't say anything to Will's encouraging words.

Will looked properly at his face only when he heard a sniff followed by a deep sigh, filled with sorrow.

He freaked out for a split second, seeing the tears run down his cheeks, knowing it was a rare sight.

"Do you know when we will be the worst parents?" Will asked, guiding Hannibal's head to rest on his shoulder. "When we won't like her first boyfriend. Or her second. Or third. Fuck it, none of them will be good enough. Or when we will say "no" when she will want to go to a promiscuous party. But I promise that when we meet her tomorrow, we will just know exactly what to call her."

Hannibal let out another sniff and Will could actually feel his tears on his shirt. "I thought I knew what name would be perfect for her." He said eventually.

"And I told you I'm down with calling her Mischa if that's what you feel." He replied softly as he let his own head rest on Hannibal's.

"After doing some self-reflection, I realized I don't want that for her. She shouldn't carry my regrets." He said, his gaze following a magpie trying to build a nest in the pine tree which was shading their house. "Every time I would look at her, I would think of my sister." Hannibal said as he let out a soft sob. "I want her to be her own person, not to grow up in the shade of someone else who already carries so much weight."

"What else is on your mind?" Will asked empathetically after a few seconds.

"During the last years I knew that if we had a daughter I would definitely name her Mischa. I figured I would do that only to give myself the delusion of having her next to me again." Hannibal said. "Or maybe I need some sort of closure that I won't get. Truth is, I need to let her go. It's been too long."

"You know, you don't have to let her go. She is not here but she is still your sister. And she will always be. You don't need a physical reminder to get your closure. And we will make sure our daughter knows about her."

Hannibal let out another sob as he buried his face in Will's shoulder.

"There are days when I feel haunted by my own regrets." Hannibal whispered. Will knew. He had learnt to read his every expression and gesture in time.

"I also feel haunted oftentimes. But then you say something stupid like "Will, have you missplaced the corkskrew again?" And all my ghosts are gone."

Hannibal laughed bitterly for the first time that evening.

"I'm sorry, your own nerves must be wrecked as well because of tomorrow." Hannibal said as he lifted his head off Will's shoulder and wiped his tears.

"Pretty wrecked. But seeing my husband weeping tears on the porch is a rare sight. Poetic in fact."

"I'm envious of you." Hannibal said, finally taking a sip from his glass. "You're managing your emotions better than I do."

"Am I? I woke up at 5 and took apart the washing machine piece by piece because yesterday it made a subtle but weird sound. By noon it was in one piece again. Then I reorganized my lures. Then I reorganized all your spices."

"Pardon?" Hannibal asked as he suddenly turned his head towards Will.

"I was surprised you haven't noticed me spending an unusual amount of time in the kitchen, sitting on the counter and labeling spices. Some of them I had no idea what they were so I drew a question mark instead."

"I..." Hannibal started but didn't know what to say, amused by Will's coping methods. "You didn't touch my suits, did you?"

"No, I am not a psychopath. I did want to organize your ties based on warm and color tones. But I decided I wanted to be alive by tomorrow."

Will clinked his glass against Hannibal's and this time, he was the one to rest his head on his shoulder.

"And we are supposed to raise a child." Hannibal said as a conclusion. "Sorry I avoided you the whole day. I was completely unaware you took the whole house apart. You must have had a lot on your mind."

"It's not like you were doing better. But this" Will said gesturing to where they were sitting"-is a lot better than labeling your spices."

"I agree."

The sun was completely gone, a purple shade coloring the horizon. The lonely magpie was soon joined by a second one, who was carrying some straws as well, probably helping with the nest.

#hannibal #hannigram #hannibal lecter #will graham #hannibal nbc #hannibal series #hannibal fanfiction

[666writingcafe]

A Decision

MC

Returning to the manor after spending the day with my parents, I can immediately tell something's not right. There's usually some amount of noise that can be heard from outside, but not this time. Everything's eerily quiet.

I pull out my knife as I slowly walk up to the front door. I'm not about to let someone kill me. Not without putting up a good fight, anyway.

A note is taped to the front door, addressed to me. Glancing around to make sure no one is lurking in the shadows, I carefully take the note off and open it.

Welcome to your preliminary test. There are six stages, and you must pass each one in order to get your next star. Your goal is simple: do not succumb to temptation. On the table right inside the door is a ring that will be used to track your progress. Once you put it on, the first stage of your test will begin. If you do not wish to start this test, please text either Solomon or me, and we will stop things immediately. You will also get the opportunity to end the test after each stage. This is designed to push your limits, so it is completely understandable if you are unable to finish, in which case you will be judged solely on the stages you do complete. Good luck, MC. You're going to need it. -Azzy

Well, at least I don't have to deal with a serial killer.

I stick the note in my pocket and sit down on one of the patio chairs, mulling over my options. If Asmo's involved in this test, then most likely my next star will be the one for chastity. After all, it's the virtue that's opposite to lust. The fact that this has been sprung on me, while annoying, isn't a huge problem. I've done fairly well on pop quizzes before. If this was being administered before Asmo had successfully charmed me, then I'd be more confident in my ability to pass.

But that isn't the case. He's seen my deepest, wildest fantasies, and I have no doubt that he's selected six of them to be used against me. And since they're not limited to just one or two people...

I pull out my D.D.D. and tap on the chat icon. It's one thing to daydream about doing sexy things with these people, but to actually go through with them is something else entirely. I don't know if I'm ready.

But then I remember how dull the last test was. I felt like I was sleepwalking through most of it, because it felt like a huge waste of time. I figured out the "twist" about having to fight Solomon long before it actually happened.

Perhaps not knowing what I'm up against will be better for me in the long run. It'd certainly be more interesting, that's for sure.

Sticking the phone back in my pocket, I take a deep breath before getting up. Worst case scenario, I'm only able to complete the first stage, and that wouldn't be the end of the world.

Stepping inside the manor, I grab the ring off the table before shutting the door behind me.

"Well, here goes nothing," I tell myself, slipping the ring on.

#obey me shall we date #obey me mc #obey me asmo #obey me solomon

[bumble-punch]

OK GUYS LISTEN IM GOING FULLY MASK OFF ABOUT CHIP X JASMINE DRAKE I LOVE THIS SHIP AND HOW IT INFLUENCES THE DEVELOPMENT OF FISH AND CHIPS

LISTEN TO MY UNHINGED RANTINGS ABOUT WHY ITS GOOD AND MAKES SENSE

(THIS IS MOSTLY ANOTHER CHIP INTERNALISED HOMOPHOBIA CHARACTER ANALYSIS I'LL BE HONEST)

(ALSO I HAVENT FINISHED RIPTIDE YET SO IF JASMINE TURNS OUT TO BE EVIL WHOOPS I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I JUST SAID)

OK LISTEN so Chip has internalised homophobia, as I have previously established. I also, like many, ascribe to the popular interpretation that he has not-straight feelings towards Gillion. And it's really interesting how we can track how these feelings develop as the series progesses.

Chip starts off by freaking out the merest implication of something gay, but he gradually starts getting more comfortable around Gillion, and these reactions decrease. There starts to be more descriptions from Bizly of Chip being physically affectionate towards Gillion, putting his arm around him, leaning on him ect.

Which leads to their encounter with Jasmine... (from here on out we enter the realm of intense headcannoning and nebulous connection to canoncial events, just warning you)

What's SO AWESOME AND INTERESTING AND EXCITING about Chip's interactions with Jazz is that HE DOESNT FREAK OUT when Jazz flirts with him in an extremely forward way, and Chip almost seems surprised by how unbothered his own reactions are. It's like he's had all this time to gradually become accustomed to the potentiality of something gay possibly existing between him and Gillion. In a way, his relationship with Gillion was a safe avenue through which to explore his feelings, since Gillion never made any moves on him, and therefore, never made Chip feel threatened or under pressure to make a decision about how he felt. Chip had all that time to basically think "ok, OBVIOUSLY IM NOT GAY FOR GILLION THATS RIDICULOUS HAHA. what if I was though. What would happen. Would everyone hate me and i would die" and gradually explore the possibilty at his own pace.

Which leads to meeting Jazz, and suddenly being confronted with something extremely gay and explicitly directed at him, and.... he finds it's actually not that bad. It's ok. It’s not scary. He doesn’t feel threatened. What would have elicited a violent reaction from him before he met Gillion is no longer scary, because he's had time to think about it and come to terms with it before that point.

So I like to imagine that Chip ends up having a fling with Jazz, because he decides he's got to figure out how he really feels once and for all, one way or another. And unlike with Gillion, who he deeply cares about and loves as a friend and is terrified of misstepping with, Jazz is just some guy who thinks he's hot and is dtf, so Chip isn't as scared of experimenting with Jazz, since the worst outcome if things go catastrophically wrong is Chip has to jump out the nearest window and run away and just make sure to avoid the Jazz Pirates for the rest of his life.

After this fling, he pretty much is able to come to the decision that "ok. maybe i do like men. in which case oh my god these feelings for Gillion are actually a real thing that I have to deal with and can't just ignore" and he starts gradually, very slowly, expressing his feelings for Gillion more honestly, which leads to the iconic "babygirl/babyboy" moment in Zero, which was Chip extremely awkwardly trying to establish new ground in their relationship (though it's uncertain how effective it was considering Gillion's lack of understanding of Overseas culture. Oh well. Our boy tried.)

#jrwi riptide #jrwi chip #chip bastard #chip lastname #fish and chips #jrwi fnc #Jrwi jasmine drake #jasmine drake #Chip x jasmine drake #Chip x jazz #chip jrwi #fnc

[empty-movement]

you know the stereotype about utena fans

well

let's take a specific sequence and compare the four primary translations of Utena that I know of. why this one? because i know we changed it and also sequences with these two had a lot of minor telling differences from one effort to the next

Revolutionary Girl Utena, Episode 25, Our Eternal Apocalypse

1998, UTP fan project:

Touga: You're driving quite fast. Akio: She's purring nicely, don't you think? Care to take the wheel? Touga: What? But I still don't… Akio: You're too strict… Touga: That was a rather indecent proposal, Mr. Chairman.

2003, Central Park Media DVD:

T: We're really flying down the road... A: The throb of the engine feels good, doesn't it? A: Care to take the wheel? T: Hm? But I'm not old enough.. A: Such a strict boy. T: That wasn't a fair proposal, Mr. Chairman.

2011, Nozomi Blu-ray, edited from the CPM translation via a fan led project that was us and you and it was awesome:

T: We're really flying down the road... A: The throb of the engine feels good, doesn't it? A: Care to take the wheel? T: Hm? But I'm not old enough.. A: How upright of you. T: That was an indecent proposal, Mr. Chairman.

2023, Some-Stuffs fan translation project:

T: You're flying down the road. A: Exquisite vibrations, no? A: Care to take the wheel? T: Huh? But I'm still not... A: Well, aren't you stiff? T: That was rather inappropriate, Board Chairman.

Do you like what you see? Is this level of ridiculous exactness interesting to you? Do you think these decades-spanning comparisons add anything to the discussion?

Well join our forum, Something Eternal, then. Because in the time it took for me to type this up for the Tumblr post, forum member xenofem dropped this in the thread about comparisons of the text with other examples already there broken down by color look just go

Looking at that exchange in episode 25 line by line: Touga: 随分飛ばすんですね。 The subject of this sentence is elided, which is what's leading to the discrepancies around we vs. you. The verb, "tobasu", is literally "to make something fly" or "to send something flying", but can also refer to driving a vehicle fast, or moving fast through things. The object is also elided, the literal meaning is clearly the car but there could also be room for innuendo here.

ok no but seriously, so much amazing stuff has already happened on this babby ass forum that I can barely keep up, we have birding threads and Baldur's Gate 3 threads and new fans posting their reactions as they watch for the first time threads and terfs are banned on sight

#utena #revolutionary girl utena #empty movement #utena forum #utena translation #utena analysis #utena meta #apparently the 'well aren't you stiff' one is the most accurate #which figures because it's also the worst #in utena #the most uncomfortable scenes are often also the most brilliantly written

[onehundredandeleventropicalfish]

and in part 2 of my delirium audio journey - i've finished my first song for her! being a singer/songwriter is a pretty big part of my offline life, and i've been wanting for a while to turn those skills in a more fandom direction, so here's the first of what might hopefully be a full sandman fan album! (at the very least i have too many ideas to fit into a single song, so others are in the works - this one is inspired by the first page of comic lore we get about her; that her real tragedy is being one of the oldest beings in the universe and yet never seen as more than the baby of the family)

lyrics under the cut:

A long long time ago, there was a girl, who was a child, who thought the world would keep on turning every day at the same time

She was joy and she was bright, she was a beacon in the night, and everywhere she went she left the people merry

But time is broken, don't you know? It broke that long long time ago, and so did she, that girl of cheer and youth and fancy

And so they built a shield

So she'd not see

The world she left in misery

And never asked what she was now

Or if she'd become new somehow

I am every thought in you that says to lose yourself or break instead, so why do you think I need protecting?

And from what, it’s all me, but when you look at me you see a helpless little girl

I'm not your little girl

And so that girl went on and on, her pieces came together wrong, she grew in spirals and the world began to fear her

A foolish child lost and alone with nothing there to guide her home, and all she touched, they said, turned broken with no purpose

But see I don't think that's true, ‘cause Brother, I know more than you

I've seen our truth, I've seen our pain, I've seen our future

And so what happens now

I've found the cracks

We’re all a slave to what we lack

Each choice you make, you come undone

And still you laugh as if you've won

I am every storm cloud in the sky, I’m every fish that’s floating by, older than stars, older than skies, a child of Night, a child of Time

But all I’ve learned’s never worth anything at all

They just see little girl

Their endless little girl

Brother think he's scared of me

Sister always busy

Brother talks and talks but rarely sees

Brother never coming back

Sibling thinks it's all an act

Sister sitting, feeling lonely, think she’s fine, no think she’s only waiting for the day it all caves in

And I don’t know where I fit in

And then I break

And then I fall

And I know nothing

Nothing at all

Scared and defenseless 

Maybe they’re right

I’m just a little girl

But I’m the one who put the pieces back

The one who sealed up all the cracks

I’m not as sane

I’m not the same

But then I never needed that

And though I’ve changed I’m all I’ve ever been and more

Come see your little girl

No longer brittle girl

Became a bigger girl

Endlessly

#so if anyone saw me post the tim minchin f sharp song the other day. this is what it was about #my singing is not the strongest here because i went and wrote it in b minor which is the WORST key for my vocal range #but also. b minor pretty. and transposing it just didn't make it sound right. so now we're stuck here 😂 #but no otherwise im really fucking proud of this and im so glad to get back to songwriting that isn't on a deadline #tiktok video to come when i figure out how i wanna video this #the sandman #delirium of the endless #music #my art #mine

[quicklyandrogynousfox-blog]

accepting the best presenter nta 2023

#ant and dec #2023 #🦊.gif #this hug! #i've figured out yesterday while falling asleep what makes it feel special to me #it's the way dec wraps both his arms around ant's shoulders #when just minutes before when they hugged sam and joel they both went one arm around the shoulder one around the middle #the way many friends hug #but to wrap both arms around his shoulders makes it feel more like a hug in a couple #by which i don't mean to imply they are secretly a couple (but it is fun to imagine that scenario ;) ) #it's a hug between two men who know everything about each other #(just quoting ant from the press room after in that last bit) #(also these are probably the worst quality gifs i've ever made... because the director of the show decided to go to an extreme wide shot!!! #when they went for the hug!!!)

[stiltonbasket]

For wen!wwx: "you are a fool wei wuxian," Wen Qing hissed angrily. "What of a-yuan? How will you protect him if you are dead?" She asked, violence on her face. "This poison will destroy your jindan, if not outright kill you!" But A-Ying had already made his decision. She can only have faith. They may not be of the same blood, but Wen Zhuliu had taught him all he knew. And there was no one alive or dead who knew more about the jindan than the core melting hand himself.

I'm guessing that this prompt assumes that Wei Wuxian was behind his own poisoning/is preventing his recovery in some way, so here's some more background for the AU.

This wasn't covered in previous asks, but Wei Wuxian has been subtly influencing battles/supply runs in favor of the Sunshot alliance for years, since the obedience seals bound to his life-force prevent him from openly rebelling against Wen Ruohan. Until the year before his poisoning, WWX was ferrying information across the Jiangling battlefront to Yunmeng by way of Yu Zhenhong and Li Shuai; and when he was forcibly retired and sent back to the Nightless City, he could no longer interact with his spies and gather information in person. Furthermore, the safety of his household depends on how well he serves Wen Ruohan, which means that Wei Wuxian has to be more useful to WRH as a wounded battle strategist than he was as a general on the front lines.

Wei Wuxian would much rather have found a cure and gone back to the Hejian (Qinghe) battlefront, but Wen Qing couldn't find a remedy for his core-poisoning in time—which is unsurprising, because the poison was developed in Gusu Lan as a last recourse in case of siege, and never tested on a single human victim prior to Wei Wuxian.

Re: the poisoned arrow, Jingyi was the archer who shot Wei Wuxian. He switched places with one of Nie Mingjue's disciples and sneaked in as part of his dad's first regiment; and when he actually got to the front lines, he panicked and shot WWX. :/

#asks #reference #wrh raises wwx au #jingyi had the WORST time #he sneaked off to war at 17 thinking that he was finally Doing His Duty as a sect heir #and not only was actually going to war HORRIFYING #but he ALSO wounded the sunshot alliance's biggest source of information and got lwj captured #jingyi seeing that none of nmj's men are shooting wwx: oh man this is something I can do! #nmj seeing one of his soldiers shooting at their Most Important Ally: which ABSOLUTE IDIOT shot the ONE man I said not to- #two seconds later: oh...that's MY idiot :| #cue Terror™ because that is HIS baby surrounded by blood and death on a battlefield #and now his brother-in-law being taken prisoner bc someone on the wen side figured out that the archer was jingyi #and nabbed lwj in retribution #nmj had a very bad day #but then again #so did the rest of them lol

[cookinguptales]

now that I'm done imagining a jar of peanut butter, can I just say that I love that Shane and Ryan have shifted away from traditional true crime to just shootin' the shit about weird-ass mysteries?

I always liked the "let's talk about weird mysteries" aspect of buzzfeed unsolved, but being real with you, I'm uncomfortable with true crime and the culture surrounding it. like... as someone who lost a loved one to a violent (and temporarily unsolved) crime, I've seen firsthand how internet theorizing can make a traumatizing time even harder and like. it's fucking rough, man.

I get that it makes money and all (which... is a whole other can of worms) but when you view human suffering as entertainment, it's so easy to forget about the real people who will actually be affected by what's put out there on the internet.

so I'm happy that Shane and Ryan seem to be leaning a lot more into "wow, some unhinged shit happened! how fucked up is that?" on mystery files. more of this, please!!

#watcher #mystery files #also like... anyone can make money off true crime if they're charismatic enough #which means that often those narratives end up mirroring real-life prejudices #I remember when my friend died people online were accusing his wife of doing it #solely because she was an immigrant #people kept talking about her shady accent and how she probably married him for his money and to get a green card or whatever #and how her wording was sometimes confusing so she must be lying #what money??? number one #she was ESL number two #but also this woman literally watched her husband bleed out and people all over the world were accusing her of murdering him #they figured out what happened later (shocker she was telling the truth the whole time) but it was so heartbreaking to watch #I hate that people feel entitled to the worst moments of strangers' lives y'know? #and to make MONEY off that... #bruh if someone ever tries to fucking make money off my murder while putting on makeup or whatever #I will haunt the fuck out of them #I don't even know if I believe in curses but I'll find a fucking way

[touchlikethesun]

.

#right i forgot the worst part about being at my parents house #the malnutrition #of what i can eat in the fridge we have a variety of sauces and jams and in the pantry there is flour and salt #and my mother just informed me that we're not going grocery shopping for at least a week maybe two in order to 'use up what we have' #that is NOT the reason i can guarantee it #she's doing this because she thinks it'll help her lose weight #you'd think after 35 years of yoyo dieting she'd figure out that starving and under nourishing yourself actually is bad for your health #it's not like i'm great at taking care of myself either but at least i get my food groups #i'm just so frustrated because i can't afford to leave #but being here is so disasterous not just for my mental health but my physical health as well #and also i've actually put ON weight being here because since we have like no real food in the house all i have to eat really are pancakes #which are calorically dense but nutritionally void and because i'm not getting any nutrients i'm always hungry #i think i'll just go to the shops later tonight or tomorrow and get food just for myself #if she wants to 'use up what we have' she can but i'm not doing that i'm just not #but also that's also annoying cause i have no current income and also i'm not allowed to drive so i'll have to get my bro to take me #which is a whole thing in of itself and i just grrrr #personal #vent

[cluescorner]

NEW GOOFY IDEA FROM CLUE (In other news, the sky is blue)

Ok, so here’s my bullshit. It’s 100% incorrect and it came to me with all the subtlety of a freight train and all the lead-up of a sudden sneeze. But here it is:

Pierro is Kaeya’s dad. However, Kaeya also has ANOTHER DAD who I will call ‘General Alberich’ from here on out. Pierro and General Alberich were in the midst of a messy divorce when the cataclysm happened, but the apocalypse kinda backs up the family court system. After everybody got fucked up, Pierro and General Alberich had completely different ideas of what needed to be done and so they went their separate ways (Pierro deciding to make a new world with the Tsaritsa vs General Alberich trying to rebuild Khaenri’ah or whatever tf the Alberich clan is up to). Pierro wound up needing to leave everything behind in order to found the Fatui and so General Alberich effectively winds up with custody of Kaeya. So Kaeya is raised in the Abyss and is trained as the child savior of Khaenri’ah, then is left in Mondstadt to spy for the Abyss.

Fast forward like 18 years and now Pierro has received word from La Signora from her notes written pre-death that the current Cavalry Captain is some asshole named Kaeya Alberich (huh he looks kinda similar to the boss I wonder why ANYWAYS) and Pierro LOSES HIS SHIT because they went through that whole custody battle and the FUCKING APOCALYPSE only for General Alberich to put their kid in Mondstadt. Or maybe Kaeya ran away? Regardless, Pierro is now going to Mondstadt in order to find his kid and reunite with him + get him to spy for the Fatui. At roughly the same time, General Alberich is like ‘huh I haven’t heard from my son in a while maybe I should go check up on him’ and goes to Mondstadt to get Kaeya to keep spying for the Abyss. Meanwhile poor Kaeya is just living a relatively peaceful life in Mondstat and he just wants to keep doing what he’s doing and suddenly BOTH OF HIS DADS ARE POPPING INTO MONDSTADT AND ARE ASKING HIM TO START SPYING FOR THEM.  

#genshin impact #clue's incorrect theories #this one is even worse than 'Kaeya is a segment of Pierro' because this makes no sense in universe and in a metatextual context #because Mihoyo would never include a canonically mlm couple in their games LET ALONE ONE IN WHICH THEY HAVE A SON TOGETHER #but I think this is really funny even if it is basically an AU #kaeya alberich #pierro #general alberich #IDK why I called him that I just couldn't come up with a name and that's what happened #I'll call this bullshit 'Kaeya has 3 dads bullshit' #because he's got his two alive dads and then Crepus who is dead RIP to a confusing king #imagine Diluc trying to figure out which dad to hate more #because like he's always hated Kaeya's bio dad but he always assumed that there was only one #and now there are two of them and one of them is the leader of the Abyss and the other is the leader of the Harbingers #so Diluc is actually I think who winds up the worst in this AU #but Kaeya is also having a rough time #because he has to keep his dads from destroying Mondstadt every 3 minutes #not because they want to destroy Mondstadt but because they keep arguing and fighting #and when you're both probably strong enough to kill Gods then your fights would probably destroy a city #IDK what this is #it's more of Clue's Bullshit and this time it's even more bullshit than usual #CW cursing

[termagax]

i dont knowwwwwwwwwww i just. my thing is that i think the changelings could have an interesting place in the narrative given jims whole conflict is about trying to navigate his place in two worlds neither of which he completely fits in but both of which he needs to be his complete and authentic self. but they shoot themselves in the foot by making strickler the main one and they get sooooo close to doing this with nomura before getting bored and doing it again but worse with strickler. so in my mind i think this is why i was so set on addy being a changeling because i want her to fill that narrative role of someone who's ACTUALLY chill about this dichotomy and who really loves this part of herself without the baggage inherent to nomnoms situation (not acknowledging strickler he did most of that to himself). i just think he needs someone who can show him that its actually genuinely very possible to have both halves of his heart especially post-potion. but man. you cant really get there without dancing around the janus order stuff. and i know if she was real it would just be a cheap lampshade like "welllll shes a polymorph so. no familiar no problem" but that opens up a can of worms that i feel responsible for. and just in general the entire thing has so much baggage. i wish this show was GOOD.

#like i like the concept that the changelings were troll babies tortured with dark magic i think for me it justifies arrghs fondness for her #because hes in an extremely similar situation and i think him watching it happen under his command would be enough for him to say hm. i can #do this anymore goodbye. and i like those kinds of dynamics a lot #so i feel like you can just take that aspect and run with it #instead of the familiars give them some sort or mild innate mental magic? so they can write their identities into peoples lives #so you can still get that sense of like. an invader where its not supposed to be #without having to touch goblin baby kidnapping #'but that ruins the whole plot with claire' idgaf figure it out. i would do somwthing wlse with that anyways #they retroactively imply claires magic is innate later on in wizards anyways #so if youre gonna do that just make her brother also have it in some way which would make him a valuable asset if noticed by someone like #strickler. make it smt with the bridge or some other thing where they neeeeeeeed a magic user and itd be too risky to like. kidnap a studen #so they cant take claire. or nobodys noticed she has powers yet #make it so the baby goes missing and nobody seems to remember him at all EXCEPT claire #bcz strickler mind powers. which tangent but u can also use later for his thing w jims mom #and makes the whole 'we have to erase her memories of him' less convoluted bullshit #anyways back on track. just have the baby at the bridge ceremony for magic power reasons and in the conflict smth grabs him and takes him #thru the portal in the hopes of opening the bridge frm the other side #anyways.tthey had options is all im saying and they chose to do it in the worst way possible #just scrap the janus order im not touching that #it was so fucking pointless anyways. they didnt DO anything not one single thing

[hlvrai-stuck-together]

((OOC))

Sorry I keep updating at like. midnight. I honestly dont have an excuse besides i go to work and i get home and i'm tired fghsdajk

Gonna take me a little while to get into the swing of this. I've never done an askblog like this before (though I have hosted... technically 3 in the past? (EDIT: no, 4 actually.) But never like this, and none of them went anywhere), so trying to get into the swing of it has been weird.

Glad people seem to be enjoying it, though! I had no idea it'd take off like this, aha. Hopefully I can get a bit more consistent and stop uploading at 2 AM, lol.

That said, I don't know what my schedule's gonna be (if I even start one). So if there's a couple days where I don't upload, it's not because I abandoned the AU or anything, it's probably just because I'm busy IRL.

Feel free to keep sending in asks even if I'm not online! I've already got a lot of really good ones sitting there that I'm gonna hold onto for a bit (for. reasons).

This has been really fun so far, and I hope everyone's having fun, too! Just bear with me while I figure this out. I'm hoping to get out a ref of [ERROR] soon, and also stop calling him that soon, but getting into character is proving to be a challenge when you do it on and off like this. But that's never stopped me before and it won't now. Like I said, this has been fun so far!

That said, if anyone has any suggestions on a meta level, I'm all ears. I realize now that I've run into this basically blind, so even though I did a couple week's worth of preparation in advance for this blog, I'm also still floundering a bit. Learning more every day, though! And I'm hoping I can pick up the pace soon as well. After Day 1's rapidfire replies, going at a more leisurely pace feels really slow, and I both wanna fix that but also don't know how because, like I said, I keep uploading at midnight gfdshjk

TL;DR I'm working on it dw lol

-Mod Dimonds

#dimond speaks #ooc #i have many plans for this au and i've realized that figuring out how to connect the dots to get us there is the hard part #i'm used to writing fanfic where i as a writer would be able to brainstorm a way to connect those pieces #but since i've decided to host this as an askblog instead a part of that control has been taken away from me #it's like im DMing D&D instead of what i'm used to #which i don't mind- like i said i'm having fun- it's just a huge change from the norm on my end #and i don't wanna make the story twist unnaturally in a different direction because i want one thing and the askers want another #but on the other hand to there is a story here i want to tell #so finding the balance is gonna be hard #but i think it'll also be really fun #at best i'll write a story i'm proud of and people can be along for the ride and we'll all have a good time #and at worst? Day 1 was fucking awesome and one of my favorite memories of being in this fandom #so even if this thing crashes and burns i'll always have that to hold on to #so basically just thank you for reading. both my lil blurb here and the au in general #like seriously i cannot thank you enough for wanting to see where this goes #and something i'm super proud of so far is that everyone's brought their thinking caps too! #i have at least 6 asks sitting in here that i'm saving for later #which is literally half the inbox! #i do wanna state here (in the tags shhh) that i have some massive plans for this au #so the fact that everyone's thinking critically about it has made me really giddy #so proud of this classroom everyone gets A+s for the day /lh #OH ALSO Day 1 here just means the first day the AU was live. this au will be counted in in-story days so i wanna state that now #uhh i dont know how to end this. just... thank you so much for reading. #ily guys i can't wait to keep going and more frequently once i find my footing

[cerbreus]

today has been a day

#aughghhhhhh i thought i would be able to relax today! #no! #stressed about housing! #stressed about work because my coworker i really really liked working with is moving on and idk what that means for me and if i will #still be able to keep my job or not!!! i also don't know who replaces them and that makes me nervous! for understandable reasons!!! #also! i did not update my portfolio bc i got lazy and busy with work and now i'm scrambling to figure out how to get that all together #bc i need to be prepared if i DO get laid off or smth.... it's like 3 yrs out of date now..... #not my best day for the first time in a long long time #but mostly bc the housing stuff is stacked with work worries now which is not fun give me 1 issue at a time please #personal stuff #worst bit is if i get let go idk if i can find another job in my current role esp not here where i live #esp bc even if it wasn't a bad year already for my kind of work it was already tough when it wasn't a bad year for ppl in my role

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

oh my god everything makes sense now

#ive had so much troubke sleeping for the last like. 3 weeks. like i havent been getting more than 4 hrs of sleep most nights #and its SUCKED so bad and ive had the worst dreams ever like #its either mind empty blank 0 dreams whatsoever (<< which ive learned also sucks! feels bad and empty in the morning) #or like..trauma nightmares. like im back in high school type nightmares. and a few work stress dreams sprinked in for flavor #lkke this has been. An Issue. #I JUST FIGURED OUT WHY. AND I FEEL SO STUPID #ITS BECAUSE I DONT HAVE LOKI LIVING WITH ME ANYMORE. #im at my parents house for the weekend and . got here at like 8pm last night. #laid on the couch. loki jumped up on thr couch with me to cuddle #and ive always said hes so good at this bc hes warm and he lays on top of me so hes like a weighted blanket #and i cant move my arms to look at my phone or anything so its SO easy to fall asleep w loki cuddles #AT 9PM I FELL ASLEEP. i havent gone to sleep before midnight in like 2 months. #and when i had 2 get up to move to the guest bed he followed me. #and i just woke up from a nightmare and he was on the other side of the bed so i reached my hand out 2 pet him #and he laid his little chin on my hand and oh my god everything makes so much sense now. #ive always kind of half joked abt loki being an esa. because im like. he is. but not officially #hes never been trained for it and we dont have like. documentation for it bc ive never been officially diagnosed for anything (hell world) #so i feel bad calling him that bc it feels like im. disrespecting people that Actually Need esas #(<< coming from.a guy who Actually Needs An ESA Apparently.) what the fuck #head in hands. everything makes so much sense now #and normally id go all science brain on this like oh it was just one night iwas probably just too tired i need more evidence to be sure #but like. i have loterally not slept this well in a month and a half. #I have not gonento sleep before midnight in AT.LEAST the last two weeks. CONSISTENTLY . #head in habds.